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1
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The Honking
2
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Notify his survivors.
3
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B-E-N-D-E-R
4
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Bender
5
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B-E-N-D-E-R, Bender
6
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Saying B-E-N-D!
7
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Mail call!
8
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Amy, your designer lingerie catalog.
9
00:01:03,013 --> 00:01:07,848
Fry, Sadie's Bra Parade.
And Leela, Bulk Underpants Outlet.
10
00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:10,812
You buy once,
you're on the list forever.
11
00:01:11,013 --> 00:01:14,688
And for Bender. . . .
A black-bordered envelope.
12
00:01:14,893 --> 00:01:17,123
Someone you know must have died.
13
00:01:18,053 --> 00:01:21,648
I hope it was one of my enemies.
Those guys suck.
14
00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:25,406
Oh, no! My uncle Vladimir!
15
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I'm sorry.
When's the funeral?
16
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Tomorrow, at the family castle.
Followed by the reading of his will.
17
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:37,244
Well, I'm rich. Goodbye, losers,
whom I've always hated!
18
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:38,971
Come on! It'll be fun.
19
00:01:52,213 --> 00:01:54,647
Pardon me, my good simpleton.
20
00:01:54,893 --> 00:01:57,646
Could you take us to yon castle?
21
00:02:01,533 --> 00:02:04,525
Some say unholy things
happen up there.
22
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,088
For example, all of us say that.
23
00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:10,367
Superstitious robot mumbo jumbo.
24
00:02:10,573 --> 00:02:14,248
Mumbo, perhaps. Jumbo, perhaps not.
25
00:02:14,453 --> 00:02:17,889
With your science,
are you closer to understanding. . .
26
00:02:18,053 --> 00:02:20,886
. . .the mystery of how a robot
walks or talks?
27
00:02:21,133 --> 00:02:26,161
Yes, you idiot! The circuit diagram
is here on the inside of your case.
28
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:30,326
I choose to believe what I was
programmed to believe.
29
00:02:36,733 --> 00:02:40,487
I will go this far and no further.
30
00:02:42,333 --> 00:02:46,087
And so we commend
Vladimir's remains to the earth.
31
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:50,042
Filings to filings. Rust to rust.
32
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:11,128
To my loyal butler, You There,
for decades of service. . .
33
00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:15,372
. . .I leave a pittance to be paid
in 20 installments. . .
34
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:18,764
. . .of 1 /20th of a pittance each.
35
00:03:19,253 --> 00:03:24,281
To my lazy, spoiled son, Tandy, who
never learned the value of a dollar. . .
36
00:03:24,493 --> 00:03:27,451
. . .I leave my entire
$1 0 million fortune.
37
00:03:27,653 --> 00:03:30,884
-Is that a lot?
-To my loving nephew, Bender. . .
38
00:03:31,093 --> 00:03:34,927
. . .if he's not responsible
for my death, I leave my castle.
39
00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:36,851
Let's stay there tonight!
40
00:03:37,053 --> 00:03:39,726
On condition that he spend
one night in it.
41
00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:42,811
Oh, man! There's always a catch.
42
00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:53,892
I get a good vibe from this place.
Nice long dinner table. . .
43
00:03:54,093 --> 00:03:57,369
. . .quiet, well-behaved spiders,
graveyard-adjacent.
44
00:03:57,613 --> 00:03:59,649
Yep, it's gonna be--
45
00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:04,450
-What is it?
-That painting's eyes are watching me!
46
00:04:05,813 --> 00:04:09,010
Motor eye sensors attached
to motion detectors.
47
00:04:09,213 --> 00:04:15,607
So does my butt, but I don't frame it
and put it on the wall. Although. . . .
48
00:04:17,813 --> 00:04:22,011
-What's that?
-I don't know, but it's infectious.
49
00:04:26,773 --> 00:04:29,685
No doubt about it.
This place is haunted.
50
00:04:29,893 --> 00:04:33,852
Don't be silly, man.
The last ghost died 200 years ago.
51
00:04:34,053 --> 00:04:38,285
The last human ghost.
But robot ghosts?
52
00:04:43,093 --> 00:04:47,132
"01 01 1 001 01 . " What does it mean?
53
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:48,971
It's just gibberish.
54
00:04:49,173 --> 00:04:52,006
" 1 01 001 1 01 0?! "
55
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Uncle Vladimir!
56
00:05:01,333 --> 00:05:04,882
Come, Bender. You'll like being dead.
57
00:05:05,093 --> 00:05:07,084
They said that about being alive!
58
00:05:07,293 --> 00:05:09,011
Join us.
59
00:05:09,213 --> 00:05:10,566
Join us.
60
00:05:10,773 --> 00:05:12,684
Join us.
61
00:05:26,253 --> 00:05:31,452
Just as I suspected. These robots were
buried in improperly shielded coffins.
62
00:05:31,653 --> 00:05:35,646
Their programs leaked into the wiring
through this old modem. . .
63
00:05:35,853 --> 00:05:38,890
. . .allowing them to project themselves
as holograms.
64
00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:41,209
Of course! It was so obvious!
65
00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:44,405
That sequence of words I said
made perfect sense.
66
00:05:44,613 --> 00:05:49,289
We really should tell Bender
there's nothing to be afraid of.
67
00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:22,201
Bender, wake up!
68
00:06:23,253 --> 00:06:27,087
He's okay!
Quick, does anyone have any liquor?
69
00:06:27,533 --> 00:06:29,251
Bender, what happened?
70
00:06:29,453 --> 00:06:33,446
Somebody ran me over!
And not with a normal hover car.
71
00:06:33,693 --> 00:06:37,208
It crept along on round rubber feet,
like a wolf!
72
00:06:37,413 --> 00:06:39,483
Poor Bender. Seeing things.
73
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,884
You've been drinking too much.
Or too little.
74
00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:45,772
Anyway, not the right amount.
75
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:49,249
Maybe he has. Look at these tracks.
76
00:06:49,453 --> 00:06:52,923
I think Bender may be
telling the truth.
77
00:07:03,653 --> 00:07:06,770
Bender, you look awful.
I prescribe makeup.
78
00:07:06,933 --> 00:07:11,085
Here! It just so happens I have
my Mary Kay sample case.
79
00:07:11,293 --> 00:07:16,321
I just need sleep. I had nightmares
about cars running people over.
80
00:07:16,533 --> 00:07:18,683
Many dream of a fresh new look.
81
00:07:18,933 --> 00:07:22,164
And Mary Kay can make
those dreams come true.
82
00:07:22,373 --> 00:07:26,491
Look! They found those same
rubbery tracks in New New York.
83
00:07:26,693 --> 00:07:29,412
A hit-and-run
by the robot porno theater.
84
00:07:29,573 --> 00:07:33,885
Robot porno theater?
I was in that general area last night.
85
00:07:34,133 --> 00:07:38,126
Whoever ran me down out on the moors
followed me back here!
86
00:07:38,333 --> 00:07:42,804
No one's trying to run you over.
Stop being a big hallucinating baby.
87
00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:46,164
Yeah? Could a big hallucinating baby
do this?
88
00:07:49,493 --> 00:07:51,006
I'm scared!
89
00:08:09,933 --> 00:08:13,846
I don't know which I like more,
smashing cars or faces.
90
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:18,291
Lucky you won't decide tonight.
Come on. It's church tomorrow.
91
00:08:28,013 --> 00:08:29,731
Did you hear something?
92
00:08:30,213 --> 00:08:34,491
It was probably just
a golden marmoset.
93
00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:39,129
Don't sound like no golden marmoset
I ever heard.
94
00:08:45,053 --> 00:08:46,645
Made it.
95
00:08:47,053 --> 00:08:49,362
So, what are you wearing tomorrow?
96
00:09:03,133 --> 00:09:05,806
Where. . .? What the. . .?
97
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:09,972
Transmission fluid? Where have I been?
What happened?
98
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:12,727
Gets out of here, youse lousy bum!
99
00:09:12,893 --> 00:09:17,045
-Please, I'm scared.
-We all are. It's the human condition.
100
00:09:17,253 --> 00:09:21,007
That's why I put on this tough guy
facade. Now beat it!
101
00:09:21,533 --> 00:09:25,287
I passed out around midnight,
much earlier than usual.
102
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:28,843
When I woke up, I found these
in my chest cabinet.
103
00:09:29,053 --> 00:09:32,443
Relax. You were probably just
shooting big fuzzy craps.
104
00:09:32,653 --> 00:09:35,292
No! I think I may have hurt someone.
105
00:09:35,453 --> 00:09:39,651
Lord, I'm on the verge
of a nervous meltdown.
106
00:09:39,853 --> 00:09:42,492
You're scaring me.
You're going wacko!
107
00:09:42,733 --> 00:09:46,521
Right. I need professional help.
And damn the expense!
108
00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:51,011
Damn the expense!
109
00:09:51,533 --> 00:09:54,047
You have nothing to worry about.
110
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:58,411
Except a nightmarish life
of unremitting horror!
111
00:09:58,613 --> 00:10:01,605
For you see, you are a were-car.
112
00:10:02,293 --> 00:10:03,521
A were-car?
113
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,327
The car that ran you down
was a were-car.
114
00:10:06,493 --> 00:10:10,122
It beamed the virus to you
through its demonic headlights!
115
00:10:10,293 --> 00:10:11,282
That's crazy.
116
00:10:11,493 --> 00:10:14,291
Yes. So crazy that it must be true!
117
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:17,252
Each midnight,
when your clock resets to 0. . .
118
00:10:17,493 --> 00:10:21,042
. . .your hardware reconfigures
into a murderous car.
119
00:10:21,213 --> 00:10:23,363
I can't keep running people over.
120
00:10:23,573 --> 00:10:26,804
I'm not famous enough
to get away with it. Help me!
121
00:10:27,013 --> 00:10:30,688
Yes. But you must be willing
to pay a terrible price.
122
00:10:30,893 --> 00:10:32,485
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
123
00:10:32,693 --> 00:10:35,048
Follow me.
124
00:10:36,093 --> 00:10:38,846
Based on this ancient
"read me" file. . .
125
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:42,210
. . .your only hope is to destroy
the first were-car.
126
00:10:42,413 --> 00:10:43,607
I'm with you.
127
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:48,893
In its death throes, the car will beam
out the virus' uninstall program. . .
128
00:10:49,053 --> 00:10:50,691
. . .ridding you of the curse.
129
00:10:50,893 --> 00:10:52,884
Otherwise, I can never die?
130
00:10:53,093 --> 00:10:55,732
Sure you can die! You want to die?
131
00:10:55,933 --> 00:10:59,005
No! There's still too many things
I don't own!
132
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:01,363
Then live on. Forever cursed!
133
00:11:01,613 --> 00:11:05,447
Each night, your attacks will
become more gruesome. . .
134
00:11:05,653 --> 00:11:10,681
. . .until one dark night you are doomed
to kill your dearest friend.
135
00:11:10,893 --> 00:11:12,690
I wouldn't want to be me.
136
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:15,726
Now go. Go!
137
00:11:16,853 --> 00:11:22,246
Could one of you just--?
Ah, forget it. I'll just sleep here.
138
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:31,601
There. No rampaging for you tonight.
139
00:11:31,813 --> 00:11:35,249
What about welding everyone
except me to the wall?
140
00:11:35,493 --> 00:11:39,452
Just relax. Tomorrow we'll pry
you down, have breakfast. . .
141
00:11:39,693 --> 00:11:42,082
. . .and go hunt down
that ancient evil.
142
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,085
It'll be a rich, full day.
143
00:11:46,093 --> 00:11:50,723
I'm gonna go make my dinners
for the next month and freeze them.
144
00:12:51,613 --> 00:12:55,572
-Bender, no!
-Fry, stay back!
145
00:13:00,173 --> 00:13:03,085
You jerk! I thought I was
your best friend!
146
00:13:03,253 --> 00:13:06,529
What kind of two-timing kill-mobile
are you?
147
00:13:38,973 --> 00:13:42,886
He's supposed to murder his closest
friend, which was me.
148
00:13:43,053 --> 00:13:47,251
But he went for you, not even trying
to second-degree-murder me.
149
00:13:47,453 --> 00:13:50,206
Could you help me?
Bender crushed my foot.
150
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:51,687
Stop rubbing it in!
151
00:14:02,853 --> 00:14:06,892
Oh, God! Fry, I'm so glad to see you.
Did I hurt you?
152
00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:10,489
Not physically. Why not ask
your new best friend Leela?
153
00:14:10,733 --> 00:14:14,169
-I tried to run you over?
-It was very sweet of you.
154
00:14:14,373 --> 00:14:18,048
It doesn't mean anything.
I have love enough for two.
155
00:14:18,253 --> 00:14:23,452
Words. Nothing but sweet words turning
into bitter orange wax in my ears.
156
00:14:23,653 --> 00:14:25,689
Enough with the feelings.
157
00:14:25,893 --> 00:14:30,808
To cure Bender, we've got to hunt down
the original were-car.
158
00:14:39,013 --> 00:14:40,731
-Cursed. Got it.
-Whatever.
159
00:14:46,373 --> 00:14:48,967
-The tracks lead here.
-Thanks, eagle eye.
160
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:51,601
It's daylight.
He should be in robot form.
161
00:14:51,813 --> 00:14:55,123
But be careful.
Many robots are stupid and violent.
162
00:14:55,333 --> 00:15:01,602
I wish I was stupid and violent. We'd
see what's what. I'd pound him till--
163
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:06,443
Get ye to your houses,
ye ignorant villagers!
164
00:15:06,613 --> 00:15:10,526
We aren't ignorant villagers.
We're sophisticated New New Yorkers.
165
00:15:10,733 --> 00:15:13,201
Whup his butt!
166
00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:15,605
Stop! What are ye doing?
167
00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:19,283
Whaling on the original were-car,
which is you, jerk!
168
00:15:19,493 --> 00:15:22,485
-Ye think me be he?
-Sl.
169
00:15:22,693 --> 00:15:24,445
Nee. I mean no.
170
00:15:24,653 --> 00:15:27,372
I was given the curse
many a year ago. . .
171
00:15:27,613 --> 00:15:30,730
. . .while on a bird watching trip
to The Arctic.
172
00:15:30,933 --> 00:15:33,891
I was attacked
by a vicious motorized sled.
173
00:15:34,133 --> 00:15:38,092
The natives called it
the abominable snowmobile.
174
00:15:40,213 --> 00:15:44,092
It's true. I ran over that
bird-watching jerk and 1 00 others.
175
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:47,006
Even my best friend
from aromatherapy school.
176
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:50,922
I once had a best friend who liked
to smell things with me.
177
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:53,727
Alas, I'm not the original were-car.
178
00:15:53,893 --> 00:15:58,364
I got the curse while taking a class
from a famous robot actor.
179
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,211
You know him as...
180
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:02,244
... Calculon.
181
00:16:04,333 --> 00:16:07,564
O fate most cruel,
would that my acting skills. . .
182
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:11,248
. . .might avail me a sword
to slay this wretched curse.
183
00:16:11,453 --> 00:16:13,808
-Let's kick him!
-Let me explain.
184
00:16:14,013 --> 00:16:17,926
It all began one fateful night
1 000 years ago.
185
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:22,649
Whoa, whoa! You're 1 000 years old?
Your bio says you're 27.
186
00:16:22,853 --> 00:16:25,731
Lies! I change my identity
and appearance. . .
187
00:16:25,893 --> 00:16:28,123
. . .every decade to avoid suspicion.
188
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:31,052
I was all of history's
great acting robots.
189
00:16:31,253 --> 00:16:35,371
Acting Unit 0.8, Thespo-mat,
David Duchovny.
190
00:16:35,573 --> 00:16:37,689
Are you the first were-car or not?
191
00:16:37,893 --> 00:16:40,532
No. But you're near
the end of your search.
192
00:16:40,693 --> 00:16:43,446
I was attacked
by the original were-car.
193
00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:45,211
Give us a name, MacButt!
194
00:16:45,413 --> 00:16:50,168
The year was 201 9, and I was just
a lowly roboton working. . .
195
00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:52,443
...in an automotive research lab.
196
00:16:52,693 --> 00:16:54,843
I was working on Project Satan...
197
00:16:55,053 --> 00:17:00,605
...a savage car built from the evil
parts of the world's most evil cars.
198
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:05,768
The steering wheel from Hitler's car,
the signal from Charles Manson 's VW.
199
00:17:06,013 --> 00:17:10,245
-Knight Rider's windshield wipers.
-Knight Rider wasn't evil.
200
00:17:10,413 --> 00:17:14,088
His windshield wipers were.
It didn't come up in the show.
201
00:17:14,293 --> 00:17:16,932
Only after finishing Project Satan...
202
00:17:17,093 --> 00:17:20,642
...did they discover they had made
a horrible mistake.
203
00:17:20,853 --> 00:17:25,085
For you see, it was pure evil.
204
00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:32,449
What happened to Project Satan?
205
00:17:32,653 --> 00:17:35,770
It's either in Paris
or much more likely...
206
00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:39,249
...still in the abandoned
automotive lab.
207
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:46,885
Distract the were-car. . .
208
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:52,127
. . .and I'll kill it by plugging its
exhaust pipe with this silver potato.
209
00:17:53,893 --> 00:17:55,372
There it is.
210
00:17:58,453 --> 00:18:01,445
It looks so unhappy.
211
00:18:02,053 --> 00:18:04,726
Excuse me, are you Project Satan?
212
00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:10,367
Don't be afraid.
We know what you are.
213
00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:11,642
You do?
214
00:18:11,853 --> 00:18:14,970
Would you like us to put you
out of your misery?
215
00:18:15,173 --> 00:18:18,131
Misery? What misery?
I love killing people!
216
00:18:18,293 --> 00:18:22,411
Squishing them till their organs
squirt out like chunky mustard!
217
00:18:22,613 --> 00:18:27,971
Look, everyone loves killing people,
but I don't wanna hurt my friends.
218
00:18:30,173 --> 00:18:31,970
Oh, no! It's midnight!
219
00:18:32,173 --> 00:18:35,290
Hey, this is starting
to feel pretty good.
220
00:18:38,333 --> 00:18:39,652
Fry, distract him!
221
00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:44,244
Hey, Project Satan! Over here!
I'm a blind pedestrian. 20 points!
222
00:18:49,893 --> 00:18:52,453
Oh, no! There's no exhaust pipe!
223
00:18:52,653 --> 00:18:56,851
That's right, thanks to
Ed Begley Jr.'s electric motor. . .
224
00:18:57,013 --> 00:19:01,404
. . .the most evil propulsion system
ever conceived!
225
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:10,488
Take whichever one you want.
226
00:19:10,693 --> 00:19:15,164
Oh, boy! I feel like a car
in a candy store!
227
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:26,251
Yes! He chose me!
He's trying to kill me!
228
00:19:26,453 --> 00:19:28,808
Leela, I'm so happy!
229
00:19:33,533 --> 00:19:36,001
Oh, thanks, Bender.
230
00:19:36,213 --> 00:19:39,205
Too tight! Too tight!
231
00:20:22,293 --> 00:20:25,524
Bender, you're cured!
But what happened to Fry?
232
00:20:25,733 --> 00:20:31,888
I must have killed him!
He's my best friend and I killed him!
233
00:20:32,133 --> 00:20:35,284
I never felt so empty inside.
234
00:20:35,533 --> 00:20:38,491
Bender, I'm alive!
You didn't hurt me at all!
235
00:20:38,653 --> 00:20:42,805
But I know you wanted to.
And that's what matters.
236
00:20:43,293 --> 00:20:46,012
Here's to you.
237
00:20:46,493 --> 00:20:50,566
That's my last beer, you bastard!
I'll kill you!
238
00:20:50,773 --> 00:20:55,642
I'll kill you too, buddy.
I'll kill you too.
0
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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