Original subtitles

Previously on Falcon Crest. Having trouble with the codicil.

It's got to be revoked.

That big story I've been working on is about Richard.

All I need is a few more pieces of evidence to put him in prison and win me

Pulitzer Prize.

Mr. Channing has more important problems than codicils at the present moment.

He's got a shadow.

Ran into Gabrielle Short today. She said that Chase created the third codicil to

destroy Angela.

We'll let them get married.

As long as I have Chase's land, I can handle anything he has in store for me.

now pronounce you...

Husband and wife.

And tonight.

You're going to spend your honeymoon at Falcon Crest.

Isn't this thrilling?

I've come up with a mystery game.

It's called Murder at Falcon Crest.

I love this. Can you... Take your clothes off now!

You! Maggie?

He's not the only one that's missing.

Let's hope we're not into trouble, Charlie.

to start a honeymoon.

And certainly no time for a surprise visit.

Oh, I do apologize, but the 13 asked me to deliver your wedding present.

You now own a Park Avenue penthouse. Do I?

You'll need a base of operations in New York once you join our organization.

Very generous, but I told you my conditions for joining.

Revoke the legal document giving the Giverty land to Angela Channing. Until

then, don't bother me. By the time you return with your Caribbean pen, we

have some results.

One question, Mr. Channing.

Why are you so determined to keep your wife's property out of your mother's

hands? You don't know that woman.

A night like this, she's probably in her attic, stirring up bat wings for

supper.

If that retaining wall breaks, the whole winery's going to flood. If I'd seen

that track after the earthquake, I would have had it fixed.

We've got a sandbag in now. I hope that it holds.

I know it's Sunday, but can we get some workers up here? I've tried to bus

people in, but the roads are flooded. What can I do? I'll feel that.

Okay, Charlie, if you and me.

I wish Dan were here. I could sure use his help now.

I doubt if Dan will ever step foot in Falcon Crest again.

I'm going to see Angela right now.

Check this out.

Having a wonderful time. Glad you're not here.

Carly?

Your sister got off the bus and she's at Falcon Crest.

Yeah, and I only got one problem. Who to kill first, Angela or Carly? Dan, it's

raining outside.

The roads aren't safe.

Well, I'm in a dangerous mood.

Especially the road to Falcon Crest. It washes out every year.

Well, that's why I'm taking my bike. Nothing's going to stop me.

All right. Then I'm going with you.

No. Yeah.

Your bike might need the traction.

You might need some more support.

Come on, Dan Pink.

Let's take a ride on the wild side.

The clouds have burst.

Oh, sweet. I didn't know whether to pack a bikini or a wetsuit. I think you

would look very sexy in flippers.

Oh, honey, you got me flippers? I've always wanted a flipper.

A trench coat.

Two trench coats. Yeah, buy one, get one free.

I didn't think it rained in the Caribbean.

I don't want my new bride getting wet on the way to the airport.

You are so sweet. You think of everything.

That's because I love you, Maggie G. Mary.

Maggie Cheney, Maggie Cheney.

Boy,

we look like a couple of spies.

All we need is, you know, one of those hats. Oh, hey, hey, hey.

Oh, please, Amanda.

Everything in the man is perfect. It's about time you realized that. So, how do

we look? How do we look?

We're ready for the newlywed day.

Nice touch. Yeah, it's a little joke. Come on, woman. The rowboat is waiting.

Okay.

What on earth are you doing? I've read each of these dumb mystery novels six

times. Besides, I'm planning to write my own based on my experience with the

Habermans.

You know, I think you and Lance let those blackmailers off pretty lightly.

Believe me, we taught them a lesson.

Besides, you really came here to talk about my brother, didn't you?

How'd you know that?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

First, it's raining, so you wouldn't have come here if it hadn't been for

something very important.

Plus, you have really become obsessed with Richard.

Angela!

But listen, I've learned something new. I finally got the ammunition to expose

Richard for who he really is. I don't want to hear this.

Angela! What do you want?

You know why I'm here. Well, I want you to leave.

Whether you want to hear it or not, this is important.

If anything happens to me, I've mailed some papers to your office. And what I

need... What was that?

I'm going to keep breaking them until you let me see her. Then I'll have to

the sheriff. Oh, come on, Dan. Break another one. Oh, stay out of this,

He's dangerous, you know. Oh, you don't have to worry about me, Angela. I left

all my sharp instruments at home. All except your tongue. And I would be

delighted to snip it off.

Carly, where are you?

When you put her on the bus, you lost her. No, we're not talking about your

or your grapes, Angela. We're talking about my flesh and blood.

mud wrestling, eh? Whose idea was it to stay in Tuscany, yours or Angela's? Hey,

back off, mud cat. It was my idea, okay?

Who are you to go put me on a bus to Aunt Mona? I don't even know her and I'm

not going to go live with somebody I don't even know. You're not staying

sis. Hey, Angela's not the bride of Frankenstein, okay?

She's a hippo lady and I just happen to like her.

Well, you're not getting away with this, Angela.

Time out.

Now, why don't we all sit down and have a nice civilized cup of tea together?

No tea!

I mean, I think you and Carly both did a good spanking. Miss Channing, Miss

Channing, the winery's flooding.

You're doing fine, boys and girls.

Just move it a little faster.

Oh, anything to help out, Angela?

Just think of it as a good aerobic workout, okay?

Then after we finish, you and I can work out a problem.

Oh, is that with or without physical violence?

You know, Joe, I'm beginning to think it is. Angela should be paying members a

wage for this. I'm getting a whole kind of a slave feeling.

In ancient Egypt, slaves are buried with their masters.

Every family should do this. It promotes togetherness.

By the way, I thought of a name for my wine mystery.

I'm going to call it Strangled Vines.

What was it like growing up at Falcon Crest?

Just like any other family.

Except we dressed for dinner.

Shoulder holsters.

Channing?

Mr. Channing?

Roll up your sleeves, Yard. We need a lot of help.

The road down below is about to be washed away. You're going to be cut off.

came up here to help you evacuate.

Evacuate? Never.

That's your choice, but I have to ask the others.

Listen,

everyone.

I just learned that the roads are about to be washed away and we might be stuck

here. Now, anyone who wants to leave can leave.

Anyone who wants to stay with me can stay with me.

I'm staying.

It's my duty, Miss Channing.

I can't leave you, Mother.

Well, and I won't leave you, Emma. Hey, I'm sticking around. I mean, this is

more fun than a wet T -shirt contest.

It is an emergency, Angela.

I suppose it'll give us a chance to fight a little more.

Can I use your phone, Mrs. Chaney? My car battery flooded and my radio's out.

Oh, sure, it's right over there. Thank you.

Now, now, that's the old brain.

Wow.

Dead.

Guess they will roll up my sleeve.

Oh, God, this is awful.

I think we're missing the submarine.

Come on, Shannon. You're supposed to be able to fix anything.

Talk to somebody.

The good news is that we've saved the winery.

But the bad news is the phones are out and the roads are gone.

And we are running a little low on food.

But I'm sure help is on the way.

Even as I speak.

Oh, Maggie!

Richard! Are you all right?

We're okay.

Road washed out.

Car's in one of your irrigation ditches.

Damn near drowned.

Oh, my goodness. I forgot what night this is.

Isn't this thrilling?

Don't you think so, everyone?

I can't tell you how pleased I am.

You're going to spend your honeymoon at Falcon Crest.

Gee, I know times are tight, Angela, but surely you could afford a little roof

repair. Oh, this is a new roof. I could kill that contractor.

I think someone up there doesn't like you.

Well, you could be right.

I am right.

Oh, love the ambiance. Yeah, it's, um, romantic.

For lack of a better word.

Well, I'll leave you honeymooners in peace. Oh, wipe that smirk off your

As soon as we can, we're swimming out of here.

Well, until then, enjoy the bridal suite.

Thumb in, keeper.

Couldn't even leave a mint on the pillow. Oh, come on, come on, come on,

on. It could be a lot worse. We could still be in that ditch.

Yeah, or the ultimate tragedy, forced to share a room with Angela herself.

You know what?

All of this, I mean, all of this, the car and the ditch and the elements and

being in Mom's house has got me very, you know,

very... I do? Yeah, you do. I'm sure you do.

Also, Mr. Channing, this is about to be our first legal

union.

You don't find that boring, do you? Oh, no.

You're never boring.

Maggie.

Channing.

And I will always love you, come hell or...

3 a .m. and they're still restless.

How about you?

Oh, I'm not sleepy.

What about a game of chess?

Well, they'll want us something better.

How's it feel?

Finally getting Chase's land.

Exhilarating. Just like I thought it would be.

Of course, you know I'm going to find a way to get it away from you.

Well, maybe you will.

And then again, maybe you won't.

That's the game, isn't it?

Check. Nice move.

I'm just surprised you had the patience to wait for the third shoe to drop.

You're talking about Chase's infamous third codicil.

Oh, he was a wonderful opponent, but you have something he never had. Tell her

anything.

Exactly.

Check.

You're relentless.

Tell me, why did you really make up your mind to marry Maggie?

You dared me to.

Besides, I always do what my mother says.

Well, you've got something else up your bathroom sleeve.

But no matter.

Whatever move you make, I'll count it.

Check.

Try to get out of that one.

You play a mean game of chess, lady.

So do you.

Like mother, like son.

Who are you staring at?

Nothing, Miss Channing.

Excuse me.

Haven't you something better to do?

I wonder who put the blanket over Mr.

Channing.

Well, the news isn't good.

The road out of here is still washed away and the phone lines are still down

the heat has gone on the blanket. Great!

Oh, I think we ought to blow the old place up.

Not me.

I'd bulldoze it. Wait a second. I got an idea.

Why don't you just... Let me take Dan's bike, and I'll find a way out of this

place and go get help.

Wait, wait, wait a minute, wait a minute. If anybody's going to drive my

motorcycle, it's going to be me.

Why don't you both go in case there's trouble?

Come on, Evil. All right.

Be careful.

Bye.

We'll be right back.

Well, that's one piece of good news.

Two left for lunch.

Uh, not so fast.

And nobody, please, ask us how we like Hawaii.

How did you... Vicki, my God, how did you get here? Is there a blanket or

something? I got from the airport and saw your car. I thought maybe you were

hurt or something. I'm fine, I'm fine.

It's almost as bad.

How did you get in?

Because that's how we're getting out. I won't even bother, Richard. It took us

nearly five hours just to get one mile.

Oh, God, there's no hot water. Oh, we're lucky we don't have broken bones. It is

murder out there. It's so boring here, you're going to wish you were back out

the mud.

I don't think it's boring. I don't think it's boring at all.

Did you go out in the mud?

I'll get you upstairs. Come on.

It's okay.

Why don't we play a game together?

No, I've come up with a mystery game.

It's called Murder at Falconcrest.

You know, it's kind of like one of those murder mystery weekends.

We certainly have enough suspicious characters.

Hello, Angela.

Is that all right, Mother?

Why not?

Think of it.

Who will be the murderer?

Will it be Charlie in the kitchen with sharpened chopsticks?

It's all good now.

Melissa in the sunroom with an axe.

Or Richard in the attic with a blunt object.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I vote for Angela in the study with the letter

That's my vote. And who will be the victim?

Don't everybody raise their hands at once?

Face it, we were born to play this game.

I've already hidden lots of clues all around the house.

The object of the game is to connect all the clues together and figure out who

will be the victim and who will be the murderer before the stroke of midnight.

Game is afoot.

Mackerman? Why don't you play Emma's little game?

Oh, I'm not really very good at games.

How about you?

Well, actually, I'm more interested in the reason Richard married you. Oh,

Angela Channing, you're looking for clues.

He isn't a man that makes a decision hastily.

Don't you believe in the power of love?

Rubbish. Actually, you probably think I'm bitter losing Chase's land to you.

Aren't you?

All that bickering, all that fighting, I am thrilled to let it go.

Chase.

I really love those grapes, and I know you will treat them with the same deep

respect that he did.

Oh, Maggie, I knew you wouldn't give me any trouble.

But Richard... All right, you want to know the real reason Richard agreed to

marry me?

Of course.

He wanted to give me the pleasure of having you for a mother -in -law.

Well, can't figure that boy out.

Christian, everyone.

Oh, hello.

Hi, everyone.

To be honest, you're really only playing this game so you can snoop around

Angela's house, right?

You got it. I admit it. Actually, I'm looking for something to eat.

And you're here. Let me guess. So you can pursue your kleptomania in style,

Oh, I'm glad somebody finally noticed. You know, it was getting so dull always

getting away with it.

By the way.

Here's your wallet. Oh, gee, thanks. I was wondering when I was going to get it

back.

Can't you find a healthier outlet for your talent?

How would you like to join my security team?

Oh, I think having my husband on your payroll is already too much, Richard.

Just call me Dad.

Over my dead body.

I wouldn't say that. Not during this game.

You know, just for the record, Dick, I hate you.

Not just for what you're doing to Eric, but for how you conned my mother out of

everything my father ever wanted her to have.

I, uh, don't see it that way.

Of course.

There's a nice -looking silver cup in the dining room.

So you could slip it under your sweater there.

I'll do that.

You're getting colder.

It's a dumb game, Emma. Oh, I like it. It's fun moving around in Angela's

silverware. Especially the knives.

The problem with you, Curtis, is that you have no sense of adventure.

And the problem with you, Emma, is that you won't listen to me about you -know

-who.

But you will.

You -know -who.

Boy trouble.

I like Curtis.

It gives me a pain sometimes.

Melissa, can I ask a favor of you?

Sure.

You know, since you helped me with the Habermans, I really feel good about you.

And I was wondering, well, well, I was wondering if maybe you and Mother

could smoke a peach pipe.

We'd both choke on it.

Sorry.

Boys, what happened to you? You look terrible.

We didn't make it. We hit a mudflat.

It hit us.

Doesn't look like anyone's getting out of here tonight.

Grandmother, the county is going to have to get a snowball out here to dig us

out. Ma 'am?

Are you okay?

What kind of place is this?

Looks like a 50s fallout shelter.

Nice spot to hide a clue.

This is a ridiculous game.

Hey, it beats giving jaywalking tips.

You fool!

This is going to be interesting.

I'm taking you to a try.

What a reason.

Good. You are going to be the victim.

Great.

I want you to play dead in my bedroom at midnight.

I don't know about that.

And Richard.

Let me guess. The murderer.

You got it.

Perfect casting.

I can't kill on an empty stomach, Em. I'm sorry.

Your job is to keep mum.

Everybody is gathering in the drawing room.

I'll be twirling my mustache.

Mother,

you are eavesdropping.

Don't you dare tell the others.

Well, I wouldn't dream of twirling everyone's foot.

Do you have any preference for the method of murder?

Or darts?

Time we fall, death by starvation.

You really enjoy ruining other people's lives, don't you?

You have a problem, Astrobro.

I can hardly stand the sight of you now that I know the truth.

what happened to the nice, sweet man I used to know.

I got tired of sitting around pining for you.

I don't like the way you've changed.

Well, you didn't help, you know.

All those games you used to play where you used me to get back at Lance.

Tell me, does Dan put up with the same crap?

I don't do that anymore.

Excuse me.

That'll be the day.

Guess I'm lucky that you didn't sell me into white slavery.

It's a low blow.

The only way to get through to men like you.

I love this animal.

You know what I can't figure out is why you gave me so much grief when we were

together. And then you marry an insect like Eric Stavros.

Come on, Stavros is a great last name for a dicky fix.

Sounds like some kind of motorcycle mama.

Yeah, it's funny.

Is that how you enjoy the jet set life?

Bouncing from one mess into another?

Don't lecture me, dicks.

I'm just glad I bailed when I did, Gioberti. Uh, it's Debra.

Debra.

Here's another missing piece.

To go with all your other missing pieces.

I must ask Emma to play this game well.

You want to go skinny dipping?

I know this great little puddle.

Do me a favor, hand me that sandbag.

Okay.

You know, I got the feeling about you.

I'm not sure I want to hear it. Like you're dying to kiss me, but you're just

too strong and sensitive.

Just like, throw me down and make your move.

Carly.

Anything. Hand me another sandbag.

Never really had it with you.

Then take your clothes off now!

Can I say one thing before you shoot?

Listen to me, Carly.

Now, I don't want you to take this the wrong way.

But I don't think you have all your little duckies in a row.

I don't know what I am seizing you.

What do you think she's seizing you, huh?

Potential.

You think you can use my grandmother, but I'll tell you one thing.

You're the one that's got nothing used.

Fine.

Now go give me another sandbag.

Oh, I found you. You did.

Mr. Channing, I want you to make love to me. It's been an hour and a half. Oh,

she's in a hell of a good mood. I'm in a very good mood. It doesn't matter to

you that we're not in the Caribbean.

Oh, please. If you are trapped in a house with no food, I can't even find a

cracker. There's no phone, there's no way out, and you've got Angela hiding

behind every keyhole. I'm so happy to be married to you, to have that damn car

to start business resolved, to be able to start my life with you. I cannot tell

you. Look, I think I figured a way we could get out of here tomorrow. Oh,

I am in no hurry. I am. Would you please, would you just let go?

Let go. Look, we are stuck here.

Let's just make the best of it. Stuck here. I hate it that woman's enjoying

company today. Richard, who cares?

I mean, who cares? We're together. That's all that matters, right?

Right.

Besides, we are in Angela's sunroom. I think there's something rather

provocative about being in Angela's.

Shall I call everybody in here?

Well.

That's a bad idea.

Hi, Cuss. Hi.

Oh, it's wet out there.

Yeah, it looks like it.

How you doing?

Fly me back to Hawaii?

Uh -oh.

Where's your so -called better half? Probably outside making mud pies and

screwing that up, too.

How you doing, stranger?

We don't see enough of each other. No, we don't.

We ought to do this disaster weekend all the time.

Yeah.

Hey, remember the bad old days when you and I used to talk each other into doing

that? craziest things.

Yes, I do.

You sure taught me how to crash and burn.

Now look at us. We're all grown up.

Still crashing. Still burning.

Angela's double agent.

Has a nice ring to it.

You can't be happy working for Richard.

I'm not.

You can work for me.

I understand that you have money problems.

Cash flow is not exactly my middle name. Then you will.

No, actually.

Well, why not?

Well, you know what they say, Angela. Bet at the devil you know.

You're being foolish.

I love the way you and Richard think alike.

Every problem can be solved by bribing someone.

It isn't that funny.

I can't believe you're trying to buy me. Nobody said I ain't gonna buy you. I'm

giving you an opportunity to expand your horizon.

Look, the minute I have a falling out with Angela, you're inviting me over to

Hatch Plot?

I love this valley. What is wrong with discussing a few things?

Huh?

I like the rain.

I'm not gonna work for you, Channing.

I want you to know...

I'm going to have my own power base to touch me.

And when I do, you better watch your ass.

I'm scared.

I'll be waiting.

Poor boy's got a bad case of cabin fever.

Stavros, I want you to do something.

Oh, yes, sir.

I want you to rouse Estabrook.

Little Peep Squeak's been dropping hints that he's got something on me. I don't

really care. Just keep him out of my way, you know. You ought to be able to

handle him. He's about your size. Use a little muscle if you have to. Oh, I'll

do it. But, uh, isn't that usually Garth's forte? I haven't seen Garth for

while. He must have dropped into a hole.

Well, he's not the only one that's missing.

I mean, I think we've lost Sheriff Buckman.

Last I heard, those two were headed down towards the basement.

That was a long time ago.

Would you check, please? Sure.

It's almost midnight.

Time to round up the usual suspects.

Find out who's dead and who's guilty.

Ooh,

the dead and the guilty.

That's even better than strangled vines.

Well, how about a little midnight snack?

Everybody downstairs.

What the hell are you doing mousing off to Channing? I can't help it. I hate the

man. I know. That's why I chose you instead of a Washington Post reporter.

Now look, I've been feeding you all these facts so you could do a full

this guy, but if he gets on to us, we're both dead meat.

Look, you don't know how hot this stuff has become.

You know that tip you gave me about the overseas funds transfer?

It led to an incredible story. It even includes... I don't care!

I want you to back off.

We can nail Channing later.

Back off.

Forget it. It's too dangerous.

Yeah?

Well, you told me to do research on that group called the Thirteen, right?

Well, I did.

And you know who set up your gambling debts?

Channing. That so -called assassination attempt?

Channing.

You're crazy.

Connect the dots, Stavros.

Channing set you up to become his own little pit bull.

Still want to back off?

Better heard angry voices.

Somebody clobbers both.

Can you help me lift him? Yeah. You okay?

Yeah. Just help me get him up to my arms. Okay.

Very good.

Realistic, really.

Now, I don't know whether I'm supposed to touch the body, Curtis. I don't want

to leave fingerprints on the victim here, but... Oh, my God.

Curtis.

Listen. No, no, no. Let me get some help.

No, please.

John was right

Why don't you guys... Excuse me.

I don't care. I'm the one who gets the money. Folks.

Folks.

Folks.

Thank you.

Needless to say, I would like everybody to stay in this house until the

investigation team arrives.

How long, Sheriff? How long is that going to take?

I don't know.

Phone's working.

Great. Oh, the phone's back on.

Hello.

Now maybe we can get out of here. Yeah, good. Why don't you call for pizza?

Who? Richard!

Take it fast, Janney.

Well, how would you know that it... Thank you.

Janney.

Just a call on behalf of the 13th at the lecture. Thank you.

What are you talking about?

Estabrook was about to reveal something that would have sent you to prison for

ten years.

You didn't.

That's the kind of protection you get when you sign on with us.

I have a feeling whoever murdered Esther broke us close by. Maybe even stole our

house. If you have any ideas, just meet me upstairs.

Go on in with the others. I'll be right back. Where are you going?

Curtis hit me before he died about Remick. He meant John Remick.

Why don't you cut the crap, Kenny? She's a good woman, and I'm not going to let

a guy like you jerk her around.

I've never been afraid of a little blood and guts.

Now, how would Curtis even know Chase's friend?

I don't know.

I'll be back shortly.

I don't know how this happened, but it is not your fault.

Is everyone still here?

Everyone except Richard and Eric.

It's got a bit of blood.

30 feet from the body. Yeah.

Probably off the killer ship.

I'm going to go up and make sure nobody follows me.

What about Falcon?

I'll tell him I'm hiding under Angela's bed.

So you still like living at Falcon Crest?

Hey, all I need is a little body armor.

Tough guy, huh?

Maybe it was an accident.

You should have seen the wound on the guy's head.

Somebody wanted him dead.

I don't know.

Everybody in this house has been in each other's throats for years, but why

would somebody kill Curtis? I don't have a clue, honestly.

Oh, Mother.

Why do terrible things always happen to people I care about? Oh, Emma, darling,

when we can, you and I are going to talk to Father Bob.

He was always so sweet to me.

Curtis, I mean.

I even think he was a little bit in love with me.

Mom?

You okay?

Not really.

Thanks.

Yeah, this is really awful, isn't it?

I was trying to get used to it.

What do you mean?

I'm sorry. It's a stupid remark.

Life with Richard.

A lot of surprises.

I swear, Sheriff, I don't know where he went.

All right, just go downstairs with the rest of them.

I don't care what Estherbrook had over you. Don't just bash the kid's brain.

I was trapped by the weather, too, Mr. Channing. I had to improvise, okay?

Not to worry.

I took some jewelry from your mother's drawer, left a few phony fingerprints.

As far as anyone knows, a thief got carried away. You tell the 13 that it

be a sub -zero morning in hell before I ever join that little band of merry

cutthroats. You got that?

You really want the world to know that you gave an African dictator $30

It was not worth taking the boy's life.

John Remick is missing in action because you sent money to his enemy.

Do you think your new bride can live with that?

Don't call us. We'll call you.

Channing!

Channing, you up there?

Hey, just hold on. I'm not finished with you yet.

Who the

hell was that?

Nobody touch him, okay? I recognize him. Did he mention Estherbrook?

He admitted killing him, but I don't know why. Yes, you do. Curtis warned me

about you.

He's dead.

You're behind it all, and I'm going to prove it.

Melissa, it's so good to be home.

I never thought I'd see you again.

You haven't.

Well, not exactly the perfect honeymoon, is it? If you need a shoulder to cry

on, I'd still get your name on it.

The only thing I ever wanted was to unite the two Falcon Crest properties

together again.

To the destruction of Angela Channing.