All language subtitles for Dream On (1990) S03E16 AI.en

Jeremy, get dressed,
and nothing from the hamper.

All right, all right.

- Hello, darling.
- Hi, Mom.

- Are we the first?
- Yes, yes.

I have a surprise for you.

Really?

Ta-da!

Just what I always wanted,
a man in plaid pants.

- Hello.
- You remember Harry.

Of course, when you met him,
we weren't...

an item.

Oh, right.

Right.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet me?

It's a real treat
meeting you, Martin.

I have heard
such wonderful things.

- Don't touch me.
- He's a hugger.

He sure is.

Where's my favorite grandchild?

Hey, Grandma.

I want you to meet
my special friend.

Oh.

- Harry.
- Nice to meet you.

Oh, wow, what a grip.

He's like a prizefighter, huh?

Jeremy, why don't you get
Harry something to drink?

I'll follow you, Jeremy.
You're my guide.

Come here, darling.

So,

what do you think?

Well...

That grotesque clown.

...he's certainly
different from Dad.

You mean because
he's good natured and pleasant.

Not moody,
depressed, aggravating.

Maybe that's it.

Mm.

This is sensational.

This is the best stuff
I ever tasted.

What do you call this, Martin?

- Orange soda.
- Well, it's very good.

I'll get it.

Ooh, that watch. I love it.

- Hi, Uncle Manny.
- I couldn't find a space.

It's impossible
to park in the city.

You ever park here?

Uncle Manny, I'm only 13.

When I was 13, there were
spaces everywhere, but now--

- Hello, hello, hello.
- Hey.

Is that the face I love?

How are you, Aunt Cindy?

Oh, I'm good, good, good.
And you?

- Good, good, good.
- Oh, good, good, good.

How adorable is this?

Oh, adorable.

So, we're at the Seder.

And we get to the pub,

and we open the door
for the prophet Elijah.

Fay opens the door.

And what do you think happens?

- The dog walks in.
- The dog walks in.

I mean, did you ever hear
anything like that?

- No.
- First time today.

Oh, yeah, Uncle Hyde.
Tell them the fish story.

Oh, the fish story.

It's Coney Island
in the summertime.

The fish comes out of the water.

You think he likes me?

Of course he likes you.

What's not to like?

You are the sweetest man.

I'm the luckiest.

And you stay away from her.

Stop.

Jeremy, I understand
you're going to be missing

your Aunt Ruth's
surprise party tomorrow.

Yeah, well, Jeremy
would rather spend the evening
with his mother and Richard.

- They're having dinner
at the White House.
- Call me crazy.

Congratulations.

- What a thrill.
- Hold it, hold it, hold it.

I just want to go on record
to say, I still think

having a surprise party
is a terrible idea.

You're already on record,
Uncle Manny.

At 75, you don't need surprises.

When you wake up in the morning,
that's surprise enough.

You can give me
a surprise party any time.

Would anybody like coffee cake?

From the sky,
the rain is falling,

and it doesn't bother him
at all.

Who wants coffee cake?

I love this face.

I'll get it.

- Oh, my God.
- What?

- Guess who's here?
- Who?

- It's Sarah.
- Sarah?

Martin, come say hello

to your little cousin Sarah.

Look what I got.

Little Sarah.

What a surprise.

You are looking fine.

...isn't so little anymore.

Hi, Martin.

You...

Insane, maddening,
beautiful little creature.

You got so...

big.

It's amazing, isn't it?

They even make me pay
adult prices at the movies now.

Is this the little girl
I carried?

Look, Martin,
such a grown-up lady.

Look how gorgeous,

how voluptuous, how alluring.

Stop.

Yep.

What are you doing these days?

I just got
my master's in social work.

I'm working at this family
therapy clinic in Los Angeles.

- You want the doll?
- No, I couldn't do it.

The pay is lousy,
but I really, really love it.

That's great.

Sweetheart, did you come
straight here from the airport?

Yes, I'm staying
at the Knickerbocker.

- That fire trap?
- That's a dump.

We can't let you do that.

- Who has room for Sarah?
- No, please, really.

If Sadie and I
are at the Park Lane.

Maybe they could bring in a cot.

- Sure.
- I wouldn't want to impose.

Oh, you're family!

Martin.

Why doesn't Sarah
stay right here?

What an all-fired
horrible idea that is.

Uh...

well, I'd love to.

I'd love to, but we
really don't have the room.

Don't have the room?

This place is a palace.

You speak when you're spoken to
around here.

Well, you know,
with Jeremy here.

- Oh I'm at Mom's tonight.
- Perfect.

The Blumberg cousins
will have a slumber party.

What could be sweeter?

You got me.

I thought they'd never leave.

You know our family.

Why let an argument
rage on for two hours

when you can let it
rage on for six?

It's just
a surprise party, you know?

It's not like they're planning
the whole Normandy--

She's driving me crazy.

You know, I think
the last time that I saw you

was our big Monopoly tournament.

That's right.

Let's go to the bedroom.

- You took advantage of me.
- I did?

You were such a cheater.

Every time I came back
from the bathroom,

you had six more hotels.

I'm still on LA time.
You probably want to go to bed.

- Yes, yes.
- No, no.

- I'm wide awake.
- Yeah? What do you want to do?

- Monopoly.
- Okay.

Your cousin?
Oh, that's disgusting.

- Eddie, come on.
- Who are you, Jerry Lee Lewis?

I'm just saying she's terrific,
you know?

I mean, she's bright
and she's funny.

And we just have
a lot in common.

Yeah, a grandmother.

So you're not going
to do anything, are you?

No, no, of course not.
No, it's just a little weird.

You know?

I'm sure
these feelings are normal.

No! You're sick.
I did a show on this.

I didn't want
to touch those people.

Would you stop? You've done
everything with women.

- You've been with triplets.
- Yeah, but they were related
to each other, not me.

Oh, this is sick. I can't eat.

I couldn't find a parking place.

Ever try to find parking
in this city? It's a nightmare.

- How are you, Martin?
- .

- .
- Sit down, sit down.

Hello, sweetheart. How are you?

Martin, what a snazzy dresser.

Look at it
with the jacket and the tie.

Doris, look at your son.

He's a regular diplomat.

You say "mister"
when you're talking to me.

- Hello, Harry.
- Hi.

Oh, what a spread.

That charcie is gorgeous.

As a family therapist,

I cannot condone
physical violence.

These plates can't be paper.

Paper.

On the other hand,
it may be therapeutic.

This is your dish.

Take it. It's all for you.

Oh, it's--

You can't do this.
You haven't got the right.

I should get the dip.

She's coming. She's coming.

Oh, everybody, hide.

We never talked about hiding.

If we don't hide,
we can't jump out.

Hey, what's happening?
I'm hiding enough.

Fine.
Jump out at a 75-year-old woman.

Why don't you just shoot her
as she comes down the hall?

Okay, forget about it.
We won't jump out.

- I hope you're happy.
- You'll thank me for it later.

- You're wrong.
- I'm not wrong, Doris.
I'm right.

I found a quarter.

Surprise!

- Oh. This is wonderful.
- Hi, Doris.

Happy birthday!

Were you surprised?

Did we get you?

I was completely shocked.

Oh, I told you so!

Please, I've only known
for three weeks.

Happy birthday, Aunt Ruth.

Come here. Give your aunt a hug.

- Sarah.
- Hi, Aunt Ruth. Happy birthday.

This I didn't expect.

Ooh,
my two favorite young people.

Sadie.

What's he waiting for?

Do you think
he's not gonna do it?

Do you think
he's lost his nerve?

I wouldn't blame him if he has.

- I should get the dip.
- You already got the dip.

Yeah, well, you know.

Can't have enough dip.

Martin.

We really need to talk.

She couldn't have guessed.
There was no way of telling.

This is very awkward.

I can't believe
I have to say this to you--

Look, you don't--
you don't have to say anything.

No, I do. I do.

You know,
I thought this would go away,

but it hasn't.

I know. I know.

I mean, it's just so horrible.

We're first cousins.

I know. I know.

How can I be attracted to you?

Well, I'll be plumb jiggered.

- Excuse me?
- I mean, I tried to hide it.

And I can see how uncomfortable
it's making you.

Look, look, Sarah.

I think you should know, I...

Gotta have you,
like you gotta have me.

I've also felt
a slight attraction.

Really?
You're attracted to me too?

That's so nice.

Go ahead. Where were you?

Don't you understand?
This is the edge of a cliff.

There's no more room.
I either stop here
or I never stop.

- Oh, my God.
- This is not good.
This is not healthy.

This is not legal, I mean,
you know, except maybe in Utah.

Well, obviously, we're not
gonna do anything about it.

- Tell me why not.
- Right, right.

But it's good.
We're talking about it.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, you have
to talk about these things.

I mean, I'm sure
as a family therapist,

you come across this kind
of thing just all the time.

Actually, never.
But I just started.

Well, look, the important thing

is we both know
what's going on here, right?

And we can deal with this
in a mature, adult way.

Absolutely.

- Ooh, I'm glad we talked.
- Me too.

- It was like, "Eh."
- Phew.

- Come here, cuz.
- Mart the Fart.

Yeah.
Oh, hey, what's this over here?

Whoa.

Here's those Indian burns
I owed you.

Ow, ow, ow.

Hi.

- Oh, no.
- Aunt Ruth.

- It's not what you think.
- No, no, no, no.

I was just showing her
the thing from the movie,

from, you know,
from the movie, from the play.

- There was this television show.
- Right, right.

I just came in
to get the scissors.

Great. Great.

Here you go.

I'm going to open
my presents now.

Okay.

You have fun now, okay?

Okay, take it easy.

- Oh, my God!
She's gonna tell my mother.
- We'll deny it.

It's our word against hers
and she's old.

She's old
and no one will believe it.

- Oh, my God.
- Okay, okay, okay.

This kind of thing
happens all the time.

- Maybe in French movies.
- It's okay. It's okay.

Come on. It's gonna be fine.

Really.
It's not a big deal, right?

- It's not a tragedy.
- Right.

Come on.
Let's go to a party.

Okay.

- Oh, Aunt Ruth!
- Breathe!

Manny, do something!

Does anyone know VCR?

Manny, call an ambulance.

Come on. Come on.
Go, go, go, go.

You've killed her.

Oh, God.

Don't worry. It'll be all right.

Manny was right.

The surprise
was too much for her.

It's all my fault.

Doris, it's not your fault.

- It's all our fault.
- It's not my fault.

Come on, everybody.
Let's just go to the hospital.

- Come on.
- All right, let's go.

But I don't know
where we're going to park.

Oh, God, God, God.

I just--

- We killed her.
- No, Martin, she's not dead.

- No, no, not yet.
- Martin--

We sinned against God.

He was trying to strike us down,
and he missed and...

- he hit Aunt Ruth.
- Martin, don't do this
to yourself.

It was just something
that happened.

Was it? This never
would have happened
if you hadn't brought it up.

I beg your pardon.

I was under
the distinct impression
you were feeling the same way.

Well, I was prepared
not to deal with it.

And I think we'd all be
a hell of a lot better off

if everybody ignored
everything just all the time.

- Well, that's healthy.
- I wanted to do the dip.

I should've been doing the dip.
If I'd been doing the dip,
this never would've happened.

You already did the dip.
The dip was done.

There was no more dip to do.

The ambulance is leaving.

It's nothing.
It's a minor heart attack.

The doctor says
you're gonna be fine.

Absolutely.

You know, I never
cared about turning 75

because I never felt 75.

Today I feel 75.

Today I feel 105.

- Oh, stop.
- No.

You never looked better.

Ruth, you haven't touched
your Salisbury steak.

- It looks delicious.
- You have it.

- Where's Manny?
- Parking.

Oh, it's Martin and Sarah.

[beeping returns to normal

How are you feeling, Aunt Ruth?

Fine, fine. I'm fine.

For someone with cardiac arrest.

Mm, these vegetables
are wonderful.

So fresh. Martin?

I never knew how easy
it would be to kill a man.

- I'll pass.
- Aunt Ruth,
do you need anything?

Is there anything we can do?

Please, darlings.
You've done enough already.

Oh. Oh.

This Jell-O is fantastic.

- I'm sure it's great, Harry--
- Here, Doris, try some.

Come on. Open the mouthy. Huh?

Is that something?

I tell you in my life,

I never had
anything so wonderful.

It's just Jell-O, Harry.
It's always the same.

I mean, there's a ceiling
on how good Jell-O can be.

You know, it can be green or red
or orange, but it's just Jell-O.

Martin?

Sorry.

What's the matter with you?

Oh, it's no big deal, Doris.

He's probably a pudding guy.

Excuse me.

He's important to me.

Why'd you have to yell at him?

Mom.

Harry! Harry!

Maybe we should all go, Aunt
Ruth, and let you get your rest.

- Yes. Yes, definitely.
- No, you stay.

Everybody else, leave.

I want to talk
to Martin and Sarah.

- Oh, okay.
- I found a parking space.

We have two free hours,
and it's right
in front of the building.

- We're leaving.
- I what?

- I said we're leaving.
Do I have to draw you a picture?
- I just parked the car.

I've been driving the car
around the block
for an hour and a half.

- Aunt Ruth, we are so, so sorry.
- Feel so terrible.

Look, I didn't get
a heart attack

because of
what I saw you two doing.

Of course it didn't help,

but it did cause me
a certain amount of stress.

But I'm old.

Old people get heart attacks,

and I could have one sometime.

Maybe not today or next year.

Aunt Ruth,
it will never happen again.

Never. Never. Absolutely. Never.

Listen, kids.

This thing that's happening,
these feelings?

You think you're the first ones
to have these feelings?

And I thought I was
being profoundly original.

I used to think your Uncle Manny

was such a good looker.

- Uncle Manny?
- Sure.

In his day, he was like
a Jewish Tyrone Power.

But do you know
who really took my breath away?

- Uncle Hy?
- You, Martin.

When you were 17, 18.

Oh, the way
you filled out those jeans.

Mmm, I wanted
to grab your little tush.

That's sick, Martha. Sick.

So you see,
everybody has those feelings.

It's normal.

You just don't act on them.

- Right.
- Absolutely.

I'm glad
you straightened us out on that.

- You did it.
- Thank you.

This is a sin against nature.

We're gonna go blind
and grow hair on our palms.

That's the wrong sin.

Aren't you at all worried
about your family?

No.

We're gonna be in therapy
our whole lives,

Of course, I'm a therapist,
so I'll probably get a deal.

Our-- our kids are gonna look
like Toulouse-Lautrec.

We're not having kids.
We're having sex.

It's even worse.

At least if we were having kids,

we'd be accepted
in some Appalachian culture.

A heart attack
wasn't good enough.

We won't be happy
until we kill somebody.

There goes Uncle Manny.

Okay. Okay.

Let's take out the whole family.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Something just occurred to me.

What?

What?

We have the same feet.

- Excuse me?
- We have the same feet.

Look. Look.

You see the way the next
to the small toes
sort of curls in like that,

you know, and we're both
flat-footed.

We have my mother's feet.

Right, right, the Blumberg feet.

Remember when we were kids
at Uncle Manny's pool

and we'd leave wet footprints
in the concrete there, right?

We all had the same feet.

Oh, my God.

You want to play Monopoly?

- I'd love to.
- Okay.

- I'll be the racing car.
- I want to be the racing car.

You were the racing car
last time, okay?

- You can be the iron.
- I don't wanna be the iron.

- Why not?
- It represents something to me.

- Women's work.
- Oh, really?

- Well, you can be the dog then
- No.

So, how was dinner
at the White House, sweetheart?

It was great. We had chicken,
and Richard came up

with this really neat
foreign policy initiative.

- Chicken, huh?
- Yeah.

Are you sure
you'll be all right, Ruthie?

I'm fine. Go back to Florida.

Goodbye, sweetheart.

I'll call you.

Harry,

I'm really glad
my mother found you.

You know,
you make her very, very happy.

And I apologize

if I've been anything less
than hospitable, you know,

but your natural exuberance
can be a little overwhelming.

I understand.

- Yes, I can be that way.
- Okay.

But let me just say one thing.

That is the kindest thing
anybody has ever said to me.

Doris, did you hear your son,
the speech maker?

- Such eloquence, such warm--
- Time to go, Harry.

- Can I have this back?
- Goodbye, sweetheart.

You are eloquent
and you are warm.

- You're wonderful.
- Yes, say goodbye.

Yes, bye.

Sorry I missed
your party, Aunt Ruth.

Oh, you didn't miss much.

Come here, you.
Give your aunt a big hug.

Look at that face.

Look at that face.

If I were 50 years younger,
I'd grab it.

Okay, visiting hours are over.
Gotta run.

It's great seeing you,
Aunt Ruth.

Wave goodbye, Jeremy.
Take care.

We always was
a very close family.