All language subtitles for Dream On (1990) S03E09 AI.en

- That is so unfair.
- Just forget it, Jeremy.

- You're not spending $200
on a pair of rollerblades.
- But it's my money.

Yeah, but it was Nana's gift, right?

And she wants you to save
that money for college.

College costs $15,000, Dad.
What difference is 200
gonna make?

Uh...

You should be proud of your son.

He doesn't have to go to school.
He knows everything.

Jeremy, I just bought
you skates two months ago.

I know,
but those are the cheap ones.

- Shot in the back.
- Listen, this place is a mess.

Your grandparents are gonna
be here any minute, so here.

We'll talk
about the skates later.

Such bullshit.

- Excuse me?
- I said this is bullshit.

Listen, young man, since when
do you talk like that?

Dad, I'm going to
be 13 on Saturday.

Do you even remember
what it was like to be 13?

I ran away from home
rather than be bar mitzvah.

- Vaguely.
- Yeah, well, I'm a teenager now.

And I think
I should be allowed to curse.

I mean, you curse, Mom curses.

All right. You want to curse?

Go ahead, go ahead. Curse.

Bullshit.

There you go.

- Tits.
- Fine. Fine.

You think
that makes you mature, do you?

You think
that makes you an adult?

It's a fucking start.

I'll go get the fucking door.

- That your boy?
- That's right.

That's my pride and joy.

- Hello.
- How you doing?
Hi, Dad.

Look at the birthday boy.
So grown up.

Hello, sweetheart.

- Hi there.
- Hi, Mom. How are you doing?

Here's an orange, dear.

Oh, geez, thanks, Mom.

Well, come on in. Come on.

- Oh, the apartment looks lovely.
- Thank you.

So, how much you paying
for this place these days?

Ah, Dad.

I'm asking, roughly.

Tell the court what it wants
to know, and get off easy.

Fourteen hundred.

Fourteen hundred?

Fourteen hundred a month?
Jesus Christ.

And what do you get for that?

Well, I get to live here.

Fourteen hundred?

Yeah, and he won't even let me
get a pair of roller skates.

He won't let you
get roller skates?

Mom, come on, please.

You had roller skates.

Why won't you let him
get roller skates?

He has roller skates.
Brand new roller skates.

You want roller skates, sweetheart?

I'll get you roller skates.

That kid's a creep.

Sit down, Mom, come on,

sit down, sit down, sit down.

Dad, take a seat, will you?
So, how's Florida?

Florida's Florida.
It's humid, and there's oranges.

Let's see, what's new.

I told you
Rose Middleman passed away.

Cancer.

Oh, Dr. Weinstein died.

Cancer.

And remember

that little woman, Mrs. Green,

on the first floor with the dog?

Heart attack.

The dog has cancer.

What, are you guys
near power lines?

I mean, why don't you
move or something?

Well, that's about it.

Actually,
there is the other thing.

We said we were gonna
wait on the other thing.

Mickey, he has to know.

- What?
- We said we were gonna
have a pleasant hello first.

This wasn't pleasant?

What? What? What is it?

Fine, you don't want
to tell, we won't tell.

- Up to you.
- Fine.

You want to wait, we'll wait.

So sit down, sweetheart.

- Tell me, how is school?
- You can't do that.

You can't bring it up,
and then just not tell.

Take it easy, Dad.

Well, come on. Come on. What?

I think maybe Jeremy...

should go to his room.

It's okay, Grandma,
I'm almost 13.

And, uh...
I'm not deaf.

Please, Mom. Come on.
What? What is it?

I'm afraid your father--

He's going to die, isn't he?

Your father and I...

are getting a divorce.

A divorce?

Really?

Holy shit.

Huh.

Divorce.

A divorce! A divorce!

- There, now you know.
- Shh, Mickey.

So, what are we
gonna do for lunch?

Aren't you a little old
to be getting divorced?

- What the hell does that mean?
- Well, I'm sorry.

I'm just a little surprised.

I mean, you know,
you've been married
as long as I've known you.

You know,
and, uh, I just--

Okay. Okay.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

You ever stop to think
that a family should be

the most
wonderful thing in the world?

That this family's
just gone to pieces?

- We have?
- Of course, we have.

You see, sweetheart,
it's so difficult
to talk personally.

Mom.

Now this is a nice suit.

It's okay, Mom.

I mean, you can talk to me.

I'm not a little kid anymore.

You're right. You're right.
Zip up your fly.

Look, I've put up
with him long enough.

He's stubborn.
He doesn't communicate.

He's a yeller, not a talker.

Sesame rounds?

No, thanks.

There was a time
when it didn't mean so much.

I had you kids, the house.

But now,
well, you see, sweetheart...

I was thinking how routine
and predictable my life is.

...your father really never

was able to
satisfy me, sexually.

What?

There's nothing so sweet

as a boy's mother.

You wanted to know,
so I'm telling you.

I'm sorry. Mom, I'm sorry.

Just go on, please.

You see, sweetheart, Daddy
doesn't know what to do in bed.

Honey,
would you like a piece of gum?

Darling, it means so much to me

that I can talk
to you like this.

I'm here for you, Mom.

With your father,
there never was much...

foreplay.

Tonight, your husband
wants a little loving attention.

And if you must know,

he was never really fond of--

- What?
- Oral.

- Surgery.
- Fixation.

- .
- Sex.

Mom, please.

Well, there is one other thing
you ought to know.

No, no, if it's about Dad,
I don't want to hear it.

It isn't.

I've been seeing a man.

What?

Maybe I should come back later.

Who?

Do you remember Harry Grossman?

From the club.

The balding man
with the Bermuda shorts?

Oh, gee, well,
that narrows it down.

He's the nice man who throws
pennies to the kids in the pool.

Hello.

That's the guy
you're having an affair with?

Oh, he's so good for me, honey.

He listens, he's funny,

and romantically...

The man
who throws pennies in the pool?

You can't believe it.

Things that I only read about

in those books that you publish.

For the first time in my life,

I'm experiencing multiple--

Okay, okay,
that's it, that's it.

We're done sharing.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

It's just that I'm so happy.

Then-- then I am too, Mom.

Kind of small, isn't it?

No. No, no, not really.

When did they
move you down here?

No, Dad.

This has always been my office.

You know, Dad,
I've always been here.

No, this little room?

It's like a supply closet.

You know, Dad,
you've visited me here
a dozen times, you know,

and every time you come,
you say the same thing.

Are you sure
you didn't have a bigger office?

No, Dad,
you had a bigger office.

Well, sure,
I had a bigger office.

Don't make me do it, Pop.

I hear you went shopping
with your mother yesterday.

She tell you about Harry?

You know about Harry?

I know about Harry.

I knew about Harry
before she knew about Harry.

We used to play bridge
with him and Arlene.

I saw the way he looked at her.

Harry's married?

No, Arlene passed away.

Cancer.

So-- so, what?
You just let it happen?

I mean, what, you knew about it,
and you let it happen?

Hey, I figured
she'd have her thing,
and be done with it.

I mean, Christ, I've had one
or two women over the years.

But I never let it
affect the marriage.

The marriage was sacred.

You had one or-- or two women?

Then last week, she turns to me,
we were in the pool,

and she said she wants out.

She loves Harry.

As it happens,
I didn't hear any of this.

I had the earplugs in.

But that night, she was packing.

One or two, Dad, I mean, which--
which was it, one or two?

- Actually, three.
- Three?

You-- you-- you rogue, you...

Look, come on, Daddy.
You gotta get Mom back.

The hell with her!

The hell with her.
And the hell with Harry.

I don't want to be married
to anybody who doesn't want
to be married to me.

Okay. Okay.

I'm all right.

What are we
gonna do for lunch?

Well, you--
you want corned beef?

Would I come to New York
without getting corned beef?

- What's the matter with you?
- Okay, how about the Carnegie?

Forget it.

They always
make the sandwiches too big,

and you have to take
half of it home.

Then you got to throw it out.

Katz's?

Too far.

Just corned beef, somewhere.

- Come on.
- Okay. Okay, Dad.

We'll just-- We'll go
to the place on the corner.

- Do they have it lean?
- Yeah.

They have it lean.

So, you're
really doing okay?

What? Me?
Yeah, I'm okay. Yeah, I'm fine.

Bullshit, Dad.

By the way, I wish you and I
had had a little chat

before you gave him
the green light

to start talking
like a truck driver.

It is bullshit.
You're totally in denial, Dad.

I am not, and by the way,

I wish you'd stop
teaching him in these
bullshit psychology terms.

And I am not in denial.
I'm just fine. Really.

And believe it or not,
just because you're turning 13,

doesn't mean
you know everything.

There's a lot of stuff
you don't know.

Do you know that lightning
fertilizes the soil?

And did you know that eggs
that are washed boil quicker?

I just feel bad
for Grandmom and Grandpop.

Hey, hey, sorry, I'm late.

- Hi, Eddie.
- Where are they?

I don't know.
I told them 7:00, you know?

- So how you doing?
- Would everybody stop?

I'm fine, come on,
it's not like I'm a kid,
and this is happening, you know?

I mean, I can handle this.

I'm just glad I can,
you know, be there for them.

Okay. So how are they doing?

Just beautifully.

- Go to hell!
- What?

Just because we're getting
a divorce, I don't get a vote?

That's right.

Oh, thank you very much,

Mr. I Make All The Decisions.

Hold it, I thought
I was Mr. Can't Hail a Cab?

You're making me crazy!

Oh, hello, everyone.

Doris.

Hi, Mom.

- Judith.
- Hi.

How is that
incredible husband of yours?

Well...

How can a mother be
so heartless?

We've been reading
in People magazine

how they're naming a new element
after him in the periodic table.

Like we needed a new element.

Look at you, Eddie Charles,
big shot talk show host.

You know, all the guys
in my club love your show.

Well, thanks, Mick, our numbers
are really strong in Miami.

Well, I can't forget
when you wet your pants
in the back of my Oldsmobile.

Yes, and you never
let me forget that either.

Hey, Uncle Eddie,
were you laughing really hard?

Because sometimes--
I'll drop it.

I-- I hope everybody's hungry.

I'm sorry we're late.

Your father and I
got into a thing.

- Let me ask you something.
- Doris!

I'm just asking.

You know your father and I
have a burial plot together.

Yeah.

Well, now your father
is informing me

that he doesn't want
to be buried next to me.

You don't want
to be married to me.

I don't want
to spend eternity with you.

Go get buried with Harry.

Dad, just
lower your voice, please.

Harry is being buried
next to Arlene.

I want to be buried
next to my family.

You can't have
everything, Doris.

You made your choice.

Why war?

Why can't
the world live in peace?

Gee, look at the size
of those shrimp.

Jeremy, have you
ever seen shrimp that big?

Only in books, Dad.

So what are you gonna do
with the extra plot?

I don't know. I'll--

I'll give it to Martin.

Well, actually, Dad,
Judith, and I already
have our own plot.

- You do?
- We got them as a wedding gift
from Aunt Minnie.

Martin, I imagine
I'll be buried next to Richard.

Great, great, what am I supposed
to do with an extra plot?

Don't look at me.
I'm gonna live forever.

I want to be cremated.

Maybe we should have
sent him to public school.
Maybe that was our mistake.

I know,
I'll be buried with Martin,

and Mickey,
you can keep your damn plot.

Wait a minute.

You're gonna be buried with her?
What about me?

Martin, who would you
rather be buried with,
your father or me?

Wha--

I can't do it, Mr. Herb.
I can't do it.

Forget it. Forget it.
This-- This is ridiculous.

Why don't you just say it?
You'd rather be buried with her.

- That's not true.
- What?

You'd rather be buried with him?

Mom, I didn't say that.

You don't have to.

If you want to spend
the rest of time with a woman

picking lint
off your suit, be my guest.

Dad, come on, now.

I have lost my appetite.

Which way is the lady's room?

Shattering, isn't it?

Okay, okay,
you can come out now.

Huh?

Dad, this looks
like a little kid's party.

What? What, the balloons?

Come on, I'm 38.
I love balloons.

You got them party favors?

With the kid's names on them?

Come on, your friends
are gonna love them.

You'll see,
I got some really neat stuff.

Happy birthday.

This one is from me.

I hope you like it.

This one is from me.
I know you'll like it.

Uh...

This is madness!

Jeremy, why don't you
start a present pile?

- Okay.
- Just go ahead. Yeah.

Now look, this is Jeremy's day.

And I don't want you to do
anything to ruin his party.

So, if you're gonna
fight or make a scene,

then I don't even want you here.

Do you understand?

We'll be good, sweetheart.

As long as she doesn't start.

Okay, who wants
another piece of cake, huh?

Come on, come on,
Fudgie the Whale's
melting over there.

Dad.

Oh, okay, more for me then.

Hey, hey. That's from me.

Oh, wow.

Uncle Eddie, thank you so much.

This is the best present
I ever got.

It comes with blades.

You want a divorce?

The children
won't be hurt too much?

I have to go, Mr. Tupper.
Thank you for very nice party.

Uh, wait, wait, Mindy.
I'll get you your party favors.

You know, if I were you,
I would divorce me,

and marry another girl.

That's okay, Mr. Tupper.
No, thanks.

Oh, come on. Come on, Mindy.
Everybody likes party favors.

Open mine next.

Thanks, Grandpop.

You knew
that I got him the rollerblades.

I want a divorce.

- Divorce.
- Divorce.

- Divorce.
- Well, it does happen.

Really, Mr. Tupper,
I don't want them.

How could you not want them?
I mean, look, Mindy.

There's
some really cool glasses.

And there's
a clicker clacker and wax lips.

And look,
there's even a paddle ball.

A yo-yo, I mean,
who doesn't like a yoyo?

Come on, Mindy, just
take the goddamn party favor.

My parents are getting divorced!

Excuse me.

You know,
there's something wonderful

about having
a mother and a father
when you're growing up.

A mother
who can take care of you,

and kiss you when you cry.

And a father
who can do a lot of things.

From now on,
I depend on nothing,
no one, but myself.

Maybe we could share a cab?

Hey, pal, how you doing?

Listen, man,
I just want you to know

that I'm taking home
my party favors,

and I'm gonna play
with every single one of them.

Great.

Are you feeling better?

Not really.

Here. Call us later.

There's two numbers here.

We're staying
at separate hotels, dear.

We're sorry.

Go sit. I'll finish up.

Thanks.

So, you want another party?

Nah, it's okay.

It's better than the clown
we had last year.

Yeah.

You okay?

Yeah. Sure. Sure.

Eh.

It's gonna be all right.

- Thanks.
- No, it is.

Believe me, uh, I know.

Oh?

Ow!

Oh, yeah.

You'll probably hate your mom
for a while, then your dad.

It kind of flips back and forth.

You really hated me?

Sure. For a while.

And you won't want
to take sides,

but you will anyway.

Mm.

I've never been through this
from the kid's side before.

Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it?

Big time.

You should be proud of your son.

He doesn't have to go to school.
He knows everything.

Dad, do you know
what might make you feel better?

What?

Don't push.
Don't push. Don't push.

Turn.

Don't let me go.
Don't let me go.

- All right.
- All right.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I feel
much better now, thank you.

- Oh, yeah, go faster.
- Yeah?

All right.

Okay.

Be careful.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

You having fun now, Dad?