All language subtitles for Dream On (1990) S03E03 AI.en

Toby, could you come in here?

What am I, invisible?

Oh. Could you get me
the Gallagher file?

- The Gallagher file?
- Yes, yes, the Gallagher file.

You want the Gallagher file?

I'll give you
the Gallagher file.

Mr. Monteleoni, I--

I can't tell you
how pleased I am

that you decided
to talk to us first.

You know, I...

I can get you
an ashtray for those...

Or you can just drop 'em
on the floor

and we'll just get them later.

Anyway, Mr. Monteleoni,
when I heard

that you had written a book
while you were in...

the place you were in,

I thought to myself...

Money.

...now there's a guy
with a story to tell.

I mean, any book written by a...

- Thief.
- Bandit.
- Murderer.

...man such as yourself
is gonna be big.

What does that mean?

A man such as myself.

Well, it's, uh...
It's just that.

I mean, I'm sure you've led
an interesting life.

Done a lot
of interesting things.

Met a lot of interesting people.

Anyway, Mr. Monteleoni,

Don.

Oh.

Oh, I-I'm sorry.

I didn't know if that was
appropriate, but, uh, but sure.

Anyway, Don Monteleoni.

No, just Don.

That's my name, Donald.

Donald Monteleoni.

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I thought that...

Anyway, Don, um...

Do you think
I could see the book?

Why?

It's just... you know,

it's highly unusual
to make a bid on a book

without reading it first,
you know?

You don't trust Don Monteleoni?

No, no, no.

I mean, yes, yes.

Of course I do.

I thought you was
a man of honor.

Uh... Where are you going?

When you insult my book,
you insult me.

I am going to Random House.

Wait. Random House?

I'm sure this is a great book.
In fact...

Careful on those.

Even without reading it, I know
it's a great book because...

Because you're a great man,
and that's a great coat.

Please. We'll take the book.

- I'll think about it.
- Please do.

We may be a small house,
but you'll get a lot
of personal attention.

I mean, you know,
we're like a family here.

Well, not like your family,
but...

I said I'll think about it.

Anyway, it's been
a pleasure meeting you.

And you too.

You big pistachio-eating fuck.

Toby?

Toby!

Forgive me for interrupting
your quiet time.

What? I-I...
I was just dusting the keyboard.

With your face?
Toby, what's going on with you?

It's nothing. I'm fine.

Well, for the past couple
of weeks, you've been...

I don't know.
You've been acting...

As though you were,

well,
heading for a nervous breakdown.

You just haven't been yourself.

It's-It's nothing.

Now, look, if I get
this Monteleoni book,

things are gonna be insane.

I cannot have you
falling asleep all the time.

Now, if you want
to take some time off,
I'll just get a temp.

I'm fine.

If you must know, I've been
having these nightmares lately.

Can we drop it now?

Nightmares? I mean, about what?

It's nothing. Drop it.
I'll deal with it.

Well, maybe you need a little,
you know, help dealing with it.

What do you mean?

I mean, maybe you should,
you know, just see someone.

What, like a date?

No, no, it's-- a professional.

What, like a gigolo?
Who are you?

A therapist, Toby.

A therapist.

Eh, no.

Here, give Judith a call.
I'm sure she can help.

- Come on.
- Martin, I told you
I'll deal with it.

It won't affect my work,
so butt out.

Okay.

I need the Polk manuscript,
okay? The one with my changes.

Polk manuscript?

It's in the shredder.

I shredded it.

Is that a problem?

Well, sometimes,

I don't know why,
but sometimes I find myself
having erotic thoughts about...

Tim Conway.

I mean, I'm not gay or anything.

It's just that,
I mean, he's so petite.

I just want to hold him
in my arms and caress his head.

Toby?

Sometimes I just hear the theme
from McHale's Navy,

and I get an erection.

Oh, that does it.

Someone trade seats with me.

Toby, please.
We don't pass judgment here.

Now, it's perfectly healthy
to have sexual fantasies.

Bruce, go on.

No, I can't.
I'm too embarrassed.

You should be. Tim Conway?

Lyle Waggoner, maybe.

All right, Bruce, we'll just
come back to you later, okay?

Uh, Laura, how are you doing?

Is it still the car problem?

Well, it's getting worse.

Every time I go near my car,
I start to shake,

and then I can't breathe,

and-and then--
and then I feel
like I'm paralyzed.

- Have you tried those--
- Wait a second.

Is this a fear of all cars
or just your car in particular?

- Toby, please.
- Let her answer.

No, just my car.

Well, let's delve
a little deeper and see--

So sell your car.

This is Manhattan.
You don't need a car.

Take a bus. Take a taxi.

Oh.

Well, I never thought of that.

Laura, don't you think
that's a short-term solution?

Hey, does anybody here want
to buy a 1988 Chevy Corsica?

It's mint condition,
only 107 miles.

All right. It's Toby's turn.

So, Toby, why don't you
tell us why you're here?

It's really
none of their business.

Toby, this is group.
You wanted to be in group.

It was cheaper.

I know this is hard,
but try to open up.

Tell us what's bothering you.

Well, I've been having
these nightmares lately.

And what were
the nightmares about?

I'd tell you
if you'd let me finish.

I've been having these
nightmares about killing Martin.

Oh. So you've
been having nightmares
about killing your boss.

What is there? An echo in here?

Anyways,
it's been going on for a while.

Last night, I dreamed
I sliced his head clean off
with a paper cutter.

And Tuesday night,
I rammed a pair of scissors

right through his eye
into his brain.

How do you feel about your boss?

He's okay. I mean,
he pisses me off sometimes,

but not enough to smash
his skull with a Rolodex.

Toby, dreams can very often be
symbolic.

In all likelihood,
this isn't about your boss.

He's just a symbol
for any authority figure.

Could be your father or--

Hey, you leave my father
out of this.

Charlie Petalby was a great man.

Sure, okay, he wasn't perfect.

I mean, he had this
terrible habit of sucking
his teeth, you know?

To get the food out
between 'em.

It drove me crazy.

Tell us more about your father.

Well, he loved to garden
more than anything.

Of course, we lived
in an apartment building,

so you can imagine
his frustration.

And he looked at me,
and all he said was--

and I'll never forget this--

all he said was, "Nice hat."

"Nice hat."

I never told him
how much that hurt me.

He always loved
my sister Gina more than me.

They shared this mutual love
of Perry Como.

I just never saw the appeal.

All right, Toby,
we're gonna have to stop here.

Everyone else,
I'll see you next Wednesday.

That wasn't so bad.

Except for the guy with
the Tim Conway thing.

Uh, typing--
125 words per minute.

Wow.

Dana, this r

Uh...

Now, I hate to ask you this,
but, uh...

do you have any history
of mental illness

or personality disorder?

And I only ask because my
current secretary's a little...

unstable.

No, no mental problems here.

Terrific.
Well, Dana, you're hired.

You're hired.
When can you start?

Um, Mr. Tupper,
I'm having some reservations.

It's kind of embarrassing.

I find myself
very attracted to you,

and I'm concerned
that might interfere

with our working relationship.

Oh... Dana...

I'm flattered.

But, uh,
we're both mature adults,

and I think if we maintain a
strictly professional demeanor,

uh, there shouldn't be
a problem.

Jesus!

Toby, where's my coffee?

Toby, have you seen my pencil?

Enough already!

What you said to me
the other day,

I, as a man of honor,
cannot disregard.

Therefore,
I know what I gotta do.

- You're gonna kill me.
- I gotta let you

publish my book.

Yippee!

Don...

I-- s--

Don.

You're making the right
decision, really. Really.

I'll have our legal people work
out the deal with your lawyers.

- No lawyers.
- No lawyers.

You got it. No lawyers it is.

So, uh,
in terms of your cash advance,

I was thinking of, um...

I did not write this book
for money.

I got enough money.

I give the book to you
as a gift.

That's very generous of you.

Someday, of course,
you will repay this gift.

You want to get me
into some kind of trouble.

I don't know
what it is, but...

whatever you want from me,
the answer's no.

You hear me? It's just no. No.

No, Don. Really?

You should get some money.
Consider it a gift from us.

How substantial a gift?

Well, I was thinking of a cash
advance of, say... $40,000?

I suppose I could accept $40,000
as a favor to you.

This is terrific.

Of course, this means
that you still owe me a favor.

Nobody's gonna make me do
anything I don't want to do.

How much would it take to get us
out of the favor zone?

$75,000 against
a $600,000 guarantee

plus 5% of the gross

and all the necessary
ancillaries

and substantial promotionals.

I think I can live
with that.

I'll have our legal department
draw up the contract.

Right, right. No. No contracts.

Your word is good enough for me.

So tomorrow
you'll bring the book

and I'll have your advance,
and we'll get to work.

I'll see myself out.

Oh.

Toby, could you
come in here, please?

- How are you feeling?
- How do I look?

Good Lord, if we're gonna have
creatures like that

roaming around the lobby,

what was the point
in redecorating?

You look a lot better.

Okay, we got a lot of work
to do, so let's get to it.

You'd better write this down.
Call Jensen in Legal.

I need him to sign off
on an oral agreement.

- Work!
- Call Carol in Publicity.

I want press releases
in all the papers.

- Work.
- And then you better get back

in here,
I have a lot of dictation to do.

What, you want me
to work through lunch?

That'll be fine.

- Work!
- You'd better go through

all the newspapers and magazines
from the past five years.

Pull any articles on Monteleoni.

And I need those
by Monday's staff meeting.

But I'll have to come in
over the weekend.

- Okay.
- Well, I have plans

over the weekend.

Can you cancel them?

- Oh, I suppose, but I...
- Perfect. Good.

Toby, what am I thinking?

Get production
to clear the presses

for the first two weeks
of next month.

Then we gotta do something--
Throw out everything on my desk.

Just throw it out.

Just work, work, work.

I came this close to harpooning
a No. 2 pencil

right through his
head.

Just like in the dream.

Toby, maybe we should
consider the possibility

that these dreams
aren't about your father.

They could just be
about your boss.

Excuse me?

Well, I get the feeling
that you're harboring

very strong feelings
of hostility towards him.

You're suppressing them
during the day,

and so they're coming out
at night in your dreams.

Let me see if I follow this.

You're telling me that when
I dream I want to kill Martin,

that means
I want to kill Martin?

In a sense, yes.

I paid a hundred bucks for that?

Boy, you got some kind
of a racket going on here.

I mean,
you went to school for this?

No, Toby, there's a lot more.

You should be paying me.

Hi.

Hey, after all,

I cured the lady
with the car thing.

Look at her.
She never looked better.

Well, I think we've made
a breakthrough here.

So, let's try and dig
a little deeper

and find out where all
this hostility is coming from.

Has your boss been
unusually hard on you lately?

Yeah, lately, but mostly
he treats me the same way

he's treated me
the last nine years.

Well, ten years actually.
It was ten years last Tuesday.

And when did you say
these nightmares began?

Last Tue...

Oh, my God.

You are good!

You are very good!

Thank you, Toby.

Wow!

So now what?

This is a...

This is about a butterfly.

Yeah, yeah.

I thought this book
was going to be about you.

I mean, about your life.

Well, it is, yeah, sure.

It's an allegory.

I see myself as a butterfly.

I started out as a moth.

Dirty, ugly, chewing
holes in people's clothes.

But then they captured me,
they put me in a jar,

and in the jar, a miraculous
transformation took place,

and I started to ti--

No.

I don't want to spoil
the ending for you.

You were a moth,
and you turned into a butterfly.

Yeah.

- In a jar.
- Yeah.

Well, I got to be honest
with you, Don, I...

...have no intention whatever
of paying you one red cent.

I'm having some problems
with this.

Problems? What problems?

Well, first of all, moths
don't turn into butterflies.

Caterpillars
turn into butterflies.

Who gives a shit?
It's a fucking allegory.

Toby, thank God you're here.

- I quit.
- What do you mean you quit?

I quit. Which words
don't you understand?

Why? Why are you quitting?

My therapist recommended it.

Vito, show him my drawings.

Uh-huh.

Here.

Ah...

Could you excuse me
for a minute?

Judith, what the hell
did you say to her?

Martin, you know I can't
discuss this with you.

Then why did you tell her
to quit?

She quit?

I never told her to quit.

Martin, I'm a therapist.
We don't tell people
to do anything.

Well, you must have told her
something because she quit.

Wow.

Well, how do you feel?

Well, I feel like
I can't find my files.

I feel like there's no one
to answer my phone.

Well, you know, Martin,
maybe you should just explore
these feelings.

Okay. Fuck you, Judith.

Toby?

What the hell's going on?

If you don't know,
I'm not gonna tell you.

Ah, come on, Toby.

Now talk to me.
Why did you quit?

You wanna know?
You really wanna know?

I can't work for you anymore.

I feel too much anger
towards you, and I just
can't express it.

What are you talking about?
You're always expressing it.

You're the angriest person
I know.

No, I got it bottled up
inside of me,

and it builds and it builds.

Well, then just express it.

- I can't.
- Come on, come on.

Get it over with
then come back to work.

- No.
- Come on, come on. I'm all ears.

- No!
- Goddamn it, express it!

...three, four...

Oh, my God. Are you all right?

Look at his eyes.

Like a dead fish.

What the hell was that for?

You forgot our anniversary.

What?

Last Tuesday
was our tenth anniversary.

Ten years, Martin.

And in ten years, what?

No flowers,
no candy, no nothing.

Not even a card.

Oh, gee, Toby, I didn't realize.

You wanna know how I
celebrated our anniversary?

I collated 12 copies of
a 400-page manuscript by hand

because the collator was broken
and you wanted it ASAP.

I needed it ASAP.

You see what I mean?
I'm nothing to you
but a piece of office equipment.

I'm a collator. I'm a stapler.
I'm a hole punch. That's all.

I'll get you some ice.

Oh, Toby, it's...

Toby, I don't think
you're a hole punch.

You're a...

a person.

Oh, really?

If I'm a person,
what color are my eyes?

Your eyes?

Uh...

Come on. Your eyes are, uh...

Green and gold.

Misty dawn gray
and desert sunrise blue.

Orange and coconut.

- Sea colored?
- They're blue!

Right. Right, blue.

Blue's a sea color.

Martin, I want out.

This relationship
is not working for me anymore.

I give and I give,
and all you do is take.

- Here.
- Thank you.

In ten years, have you ever once
gotten me a cup of coffee?

Have you ever once
ordered me lunch?

No, but...

That's not my job.
That's your job.

You know, you're my secretary.

Oh, so that means
you don't ever have

to straighten up my desk
or bring me anything?

Well...

Martin, will you bring in
the Larson/Corning file, please?

No, that's what I pay you for.

You're hopeless.

Toby, what do you want from me?

I'm here.
I'm asking you to come back.
I mean...

what more can I possibly do?

I need to know that you care.

I care.

Oh, sure. You care.

But do you care?
There's a difference.

It's a little hard to grasp,
don't you think?

Uh-huh.

I see.

Do you realize
that in ten years,

you've spent more time with me
than with any other woman?

And in ten years,
have you ever once said
those three little words?

- You mean...
- Let's go swimming.

What exactly do you mean?

You know what I mean.
Those three little words.

Don't get me wrong.

I don't mean anything romantic,

but, you know...

Toby...

I... I...

I appreciate you.
You know, I really do.

Appreciate? Ten years
and all I get is appreciate.

Well, I...

I value you. A lot.

You know, you're an important
part of my life.

- And?
- And...

you're there for me every day.

I mean, the office.

You know, the office
couldn't function without you.

- And?
- And...

I guess in a certain,
very qualified employer-employee
kind of way, I...

I love you.

Oh, really? How much?

Don't push it.

Thank you very much, Toby.

No sweat.

By the way,
your eleven o'clock meeting

with Don Monteleoni
is canceled.

- Why?
- 'Cause he's dead.

Dead?

He bought it last night

at Arturo's Clam House.

Oh, my God.
What is this, a mob hit?

He choked on an oyster.

I guess we can't do
the book now.

Geez.
Why don't you send 'em back
to Vito with my condolences

and just throw in
a couple of pounds
of pistachios.

Nice gesture. So how's the face?

It's fine. Fine.

Uh, you don't plan
on expressing yourself

like that on a regular basis?

Only when you get out of line.

You know, it's...

it's great
to have you back, Toby.

Because I... I do love you.

I do.

And I don't mean
just as a secretary.

I love you... as a woman.