Original subtitles

I cannot believe it. I cannot believe what you're telling me.

Come on, it's not like I shot Kennedy or something.

How can you not vote?

People in Uzbekistan are fighting

and dying for the right to vote.

Well, then, I probably shouldn't move there.

Look, Nedra, I-- I always mean to vote.

You know? I do, it's just--

It's always on a Tuesday, and you pretty much know who's gonna win.

And I don't know, I got tired of voting for some guy

you wouldn't wanna see running the country anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, Nancy, Ward Bond and I

are joined tonight by Tommy Nolan.

And we think Tommy is best qualified

to tell the story of A Turkey for the President.

You know, I was gonna have sex with you tonight.

But now I don't even wanna have dinner.

I voted for Carter. Twice.

I hold you personally responsible

for everything that's wrong with this country today.

It's never a good thing in a relationship.

- No, no, I didn't order that. - It's from the lady on the other side of the bar.

Boy, oh, boy! How about that?

Thank you.

Well, you looked like you could use it.

First date?

What gave it away?

You know, I have to tell you,

I've never had a woman buy me a drink before.

Well, to tell you the truth,

I have never bought a drink for a man before.

Oh.

How was it for you?

It was kind of disappointing.

Actually, I thought I would feel

much more like Lauren Bacall or something,

and I really felt more like, uh...

...I don't know, four bucks lighter, I guess.

But that's not your fault.

- Just-- - Oh.

Ooh.

But I'm glad I did it, I am.

I really needed to do something different tonight.

You know, something not me. You know what I mean?

What language is that?

Sure.

Anyway, you don't have to stay there.

You don't even have to drink that.

I just wanted to, you know, try it, and I did,

and, so...

Thank you.

Oh.

- You're welcome. - Mr. Tupper.

Your table is ready.

Oh, no.

Uh, I think I-- my date decided to--

We have nothing to lose.

Would you like to have dinner with me?

Dinner? Me?

No, I don't think so, no.

Sorry, I can't. No. No, thanks.

Okay.

Although...

Oh, Martin, you really shouldn't be so closed-minded.

No, no, no, no.

This is something I feel very strongly about, you know?

You don't put blueberries on cheesecake.

- Blueberries are for pie, right? - Mm-hmm.

Sometimes the touch of a woman's hand

can mean a great deal.

Your waitress has gone home.

Perhaps you should as well.

Well, apparently we've broken something.

You know, this was-- this was really nice.

May-- maybe you should do something different more often.

Yeah.

I really ought to be getting home now.

Sure.

Although...

Well, I've certainly never done this before.

Sandra, if you're not comfortable with this, you know...

No, no, I am.

I am. I really am. I just, uh...

I think I better be going.

I understand.

Well, good night.

Good night.

Although?

And this you've done before?

Yes, I have.

Martin, make it wonderful.

Take me away.

Okey doke.

I'll give it a shot.

- Oh. - Oh, sorry.

- Go back to sleep. - Whoa.

Well, where are you going? Where are you going? Stay.

Oh, I-- I-- I can't. Well, I--

Um, just close your eyes.

Well, c-- can I call you?

I'll call you.

Wh-- what is this? A one-night stand?

Uh--

This is.

Oh, my God, this is a one-night stand.

I let you buy me a drink, you use me,

and then you toss me aside.

It's not a one-night stand. Really, really, it isn't.

I'll call you. I promise. I promise.

I had a wonderful evening.

Now go back to sleep.

I can't.

I can't.

I'm wide awake.

"Topless dentist." Is it just a gimmick?

on the next Eddie Charles Show.

Dan McCadden is everything you're looking for in a leader.

He's spent 15 years on Capitol Hill,

most of them in the House of Representatives.

He turned his mother's button business

into a multinational corporation.

He served two tours of duty in Vietnam

and was prepared to serve a third, had the war not ended.

Dan McCadden doesn't just care about the little guy.

He cares about all the guys.

Dan McCadden.

Congressman. Businessman.

Family man.

Dan McCadden for the United States Senate.

He's what the country deserves. Paid for by People for Dan McCadden.

- Good morning. - Don't start with me.

- Excuse me? - I'm having one of those days.

Yeah, well, maybe I'm having one of those days too.

That's no reason to take your anger out on me.

There are some things it is better not to bother with.

I apologize.

Martin Tupper's office. Can I have a last name, please?

I'm not gonna just tell him anything

till I get some information here.

- Who is it? - Shh.

You don't get it, do you?

I'm the gatekeeper. I'm the sentinel.

- I'm the three-headed dog that guards the-- - Toby.

It's some Sandra person.

She won't give me a last name, but don't worry.

- I'll get it out of her. - No-- I know who that is.

I'll take it in my office.

Fine!

Deprive me of what little pleasure I get from this job.

Hello?

So, did you ever fall back to sleep?

Yes. Yes, I did.

I had a wonderful time last night.

So did I, although I had no idea

how far you people were going to get votes these days.

Oh. So you know.

How could you not tell me?

Well, I didn't think you were interested in politics.

Oh, excuse me, Mrs. McCadden.

Listen, I really can't talk about this here.

Can you meet me someplace?

Absolutely not.

I should have told you.

Yes. Yes, you should have.

Well, I'm really sorry.

But I'm not really, really sorry.

Because if I had told you, we probably would have had a very different night.

And I liked the night we had.

- Well... - Wasn't too bad, was it?

No. No, not bad at all.

That's not the point.

I mean, it shouldn't have happened.

Martin, yesterday at 6:30 in the morning,

I had to meet with 300 dairy farmers

who tried to teach me how to use an automatic milking machine.

Believe me, it's not as glamorous as it sounds.

And then I had breakfast three times.

First with the Rotary Club

and then with the Knights of Columbus

and then with some senior citizens group

who insisted that I square dance with them.

I keep thinking about last night...

when I was kissing your arms.

You have very soft skin.

Well, so, you were square dancing?

Then there was this big group of women,

I don't know who they were, but they gave Dan a plaque.

And then we went to a cocktail party

and Dan told the funny story about meeting Babe Ruth,

which really isn't very funny and I'm pretty sure never really happened.

You left a little bite Mark on my thigh.

Did I?

Then after the photo session, I went into the ladies' room

and I looked in the mirror and I had this big grin on my face

and I thought...

..."What the fuck are you smiling about?"

I had to get out of there. That's when I went to the bar.

Then I met you.

And I hope...

I hope that I get to see you again.

Yeah, me too. Say, look, why don't we go have a sandwich someplace?

Maybe we can straighten this out.

Well, I'm sorry, I just--

I just don't go out with married women.

You know, it-- it's wrong.

And you get hit a lot.

Look, you may have no problem with this sort of thing--

I've never done anything like this before in my life.

But even if I never do what I did again...

I'm glad I did what I did with you.

Well, I--

Goodbye, Sandra.

Do you remember what happened on your first date?

Well, we have a story about a famous woman and her secret love.

Well, at least you were having a good hair day.

Toby, are you here for a reason?

There's some members of the press here to see you.

Shit.

Hold it a minute.

- Mr. Tupper! - Mr. Tupper, did you have--

Well, the American press. What a delightful surprise.

All right, all right, one at a time. Blondie, you're first.

- Mr. Tupper, did you have an affair with Sandra McCadden? - Uh--

My head hurts.

I don't remember so good.

- No comment. - Good answer.

- But there's pictures-- - He said no comment.

You with the lipstick. You're next.

Have you seen the picture in today's Post,

- and do you deny that that's you with Mrs. McCadden? - That's two questions.

You're out.

Isn't this you?

Maybe it is.

And maybe it's not! Maybe it's a trick.

Maybe it's his head on somebody else's body.

Maybe it's his twin brother.

- You don't know. - Thank you, Toby.

Mr. Tupper, did you or did you not have sex with Mrs. McCadden?

Let's keep sex out of this.

I don't think my sex life is any of your concern.

So you admit you have a sex life.

Hey, whatever happened between me and Sandra McCadden--

and I'm not saying anything did happen--

is-- is between me and... and her.

I love my wife very much.

And I'm not about to let some Martin Tupper destroy

what we've built over the last 19 years.

- Mr. McCadden-- - Mrs. McCadden.

Mrs. McCadden, would you say Martin Tupper seduced you?

If by seduced,

you mean did he take advantage of her?

The answer would be yes.

Is it true, Mrs. McCadden?

Yes. Yes, it is.

She said what?

Hey, she picked me up in a bar, okay?

She bought me a drink. You can check the bar receipts.

If anyone was seduced here, it was me.

What this man is doing is a disgrace.

I don't know why this man is trying to destroy our lives.

But with the primary two weeks away,

it could be politically motivated, or...

he could be a psychotic.

All I know is,

this has been very hard on Sandra.

- Mr. Tupper! Right here! - Please!

Easy! Easy!

Everybody will get a crack at him.

Doris? And then Al.

Mr. Tupper, were you aware

that you were having an affair with a married woman?

I keep trying to tell you, when we met, I didn't know she was married.

And when I found out she was married, I broke it off.

But you do admit you had sex with her on at least one occasion.

Yes. Yes, we had sex. On one occasion.

Mr. Tupper, are you a sex addict?

Do I look like some maniac

that runs around in public parks beating up on blondes?

Let me tell you something. I'm a single guy, okay?

And every now and then, I date women.

And yes, yes, occasionally, I even have sex. Yes.

- Toby... - Mr. Tupper! Mr. Tupper, right here!

Wait till he gets his sight back.

In the three days

since the McCadden scandal hit the headlines,

we have uncovered 73 women

who claim to have had sexual relations with Martin Tupper.

Oh, my God.

Seventy-three?

Well, you know how these girls come and go.

They change their names. Who could keep track?

I wonder what's on cable.

Among them is actress Julia Montana.

We spoke with Julia on the set of her latest movie.

Sure, I slept with him.

It was during the filming of The Richard Stone Story,

for which I got the Golden Globe nomination.

Um, it was a brief affair.

Frankly, I don't know what all the fuss is about.

He was just okay.

- Ouch! - Ooh!

- Bad press. - Dissed by a nun, Dad.

- It's not what you want. - Seventy-three, huh?

Shh!

Lenora Hempel of Utica, New York

has come forward with the strongest allegation.

Who's Lenora Hempel?

We met off and on

over several years.

He insisted on keeping our love a secret.

I have never seen this woman before in my life.

He promised to marry me.

I loved Martin Tupper.

This is your baby, Marty!

This is your baby!

I'm naming him Roy after your father.

Your father's name isn't Roy.

Nothing gets by you!

Martin, relax.

I know this is a difficult time, but it'll pass.

Richard went through the same thing in March

when that People magazine article came out.

Judith, they named him the sexiest man alive.

That's not exactly the same thing.

Okay, I see what you're saying, but the point still holds.

You can't let the press get to you.

We go now live to Jennifer Klarik.

I'm standing outside the apartment of Martin Tupper.

They're out in the hall!

Oh. Here she is.

Whoa, whoa. I'm not here.

- Hey. Eddie. Eddie. Eddie! - [indistinct talking on TV.

And according to sources, it is here

that Martin Tupper and his ex-wife, Judith Tupper Stone,

are still secretly living together.

What?

Judith Tupper Stone is currently married

to noted physician and philanthropist, Dr.--

I do not live here. I came to pick up my son.

Hey, Mom's on TV.

Mrs. Stone, does your husband have any idea?

Idea about what? There is nothing to have any idea about.

Hey, this is cool.

Judith, just get in here.

Secretly living together?

Where do you people get this crap?

Jude, shut the door!

Good night.

Well.

that was an extremely emotional

Judith Tupper Stone.

Now, back to you, Terry, in the newsroom.

There were two more murders...

I thought you handled that very well.

- Shut up. - Man, you're going about this all wrong.

You can't count on the press to tell your side of the story.

What am I supposed to do? Rent a billboard?

All right, all right. I'll tell you what. Come on my show.

You know, we're supposed to do this thing tomorrow

with Amish transsexuals, but if you want,

I'll bump them and I'll give you a whole hour.

Really?

What are friends for?

I'll see what I can do.

Martin Tupper talks back on the next Eddie Charles Show.

See? [laughs] Done.

Thank you.

So, Mr. Tupper, what did you do

when you found out she was married?

Well, I broke it off right away.

I don't believe in dating married women.

I'm speechless with gratitude.

Well, all I have to say is,

if you ever decide to date a married woman again,

you just give me a call.

If you just tuned in, we're talking

to victim of the press, Martin Tupper.

Now, Mr. Tupper, have you spoken

to Mrs. McCadden since the incident?

No.

And that's fine with me.

I mean, this woman has lied about me in the press,

and she's made my life a living hell.

And I just want to put her and this whole thing behind me.

When you took her home to your apartment,

what were your intentions?

Was this just some sort of one-night thing?

No.

No, of course not.

I-- I was hoping it would grow into something much more.

And believe me, I am not in the habit

of having one-night stands.

Oh, come on now.

Excuse me?

Not even, say, with the stewardess

during Labor Day weekend?

I thought you were my friend.

Well, I suppose we're all capable

of one regrettable indiscretion,

whether it's with a stewardess or...

perhaps the daughter of an important network executive.

I see your point.

Let me throw this at you.

Let's say you're at a book convention,

and you have sex with two women in a 24-hour period.

Now, would you consider that one one-night stand or two?

It's getting a little dirty.

Huh.

That's-- that's a difficult one to answer.

But I guess I'd have to put it in the same category,

as if, say, you had sex with triplets.

An interesting hypothetical.

And we'll be right back after this word.

And we're out.

Are you insane? What's the matter with you?

I'm sorry. You were lying. I got a little carried away.

The stewardess, huh? You had to mention the stewardess.

Oh, please, and if that important network executive was watching,

I'll be hosting the Home Shopping Club.

Oh, I'm sorry if I put you in a difficult position.

- Fuck you. - Fuck you.

...three, two.

Okay, we're back with Martin Tupper, male bimbo.

You too, Brutus?

Well, I just wish this whole thing had never happened.

And I regret any pain I may have caused my husband.

Hello. Hello.

No, don't worry about me.

I just go back to the issues of this campaign.

This Martin Tupper seems completely unwilling

to let us forget this wretched chapter in our lives.

- Bullshit! - Instead he continues

to capitalize on it for his own personal gain.

What gain? Do you see any gain here?

- I don't see any gain. Where? Where's the gain? - Martin, get a grip.

If you'll excuse me, I've got to get to the school.

I've got a little league team to coach.

Don't forget to vote.

You!

Okay.

I'm gonna have to talk to the guy.

Talk to him?

And say what?

I don't know. I'll-- I'll just say--

I'm sorry.

I'll just wing it. You know, I've just got to set the record straight here.

Martin, you slept with the man's wife.

I don't think that he's interested in bonding with you right now.

In my professional opinion, he's probably more inclined

to hit you in the face with a shovel.

Maybe you're right.

Don't we even get a hello?

Jeremy, what happened to your face?

- Oh, my God, are you all right? - I'm fine.

I just got into a little fight at school, okay?

Jeremy, you know your mother and I

do not approve of fighting.

Now, what happened?

This ninth grader called you a dumb slut.

I'll kill him. Who is he?

Come on, come on, give me his name. Give me his name.

Martin. Come on, Jeremy. Let's put some ice on that.

You got to do something.

So, what I'm trying to say is I never meant to harm you

or your campaign.

And I want you to know I feel just terrible

about what's happened, and you've got to believe me.

I want this whole thing to be over just as much as you do.

So, anyway, that's how I feel, and, uh...

I appreciate you taking the time

to sort this whole mess out.

Thank you.

I'm willing if you are.

All right, Ben, I'm willing also.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

You screw my wife, and then you have the balls

to come in here and tell me how you feel?

You think I give a rat's tit how you feel?

Well...

I don't think he likes me.

I ought to reach down your throat and tear out your asshole

and wear it as a pinky ring, but I'm not gonna do that.

You know why?

Because you already have a pinky ring?

No.

Because you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

- I don't get it. - Me neither.

Pineapple chunk?

No. No, thank you.

I love these little guys.

I'm the best thing that ever happened to you?

Martin, before we met,

people said I was a cold fish.

Not a single warm, fuzzy human emotion people could relate to.

Now I'm one of the most human guys I know.

Men commiserate with me, women comfort me,

I'm up 17 points in the polls.

But this whole media circus,

you said you wanted to get back to the issues.

Yes, I did.

I'd rather be the guy that wants to get back to the issues

than the guy that actually does get back to them.

I might have known it.

He used me.

Where is he?

But I slept with your wife.

I know you did, and if you're planning on doing it again,

please wait until after November.

You fuck her once, I look like a figure of compassion.

You fuck her twice, I look like a schmuck.

Martin, don't you want one of these? They're not in syrup.

What the fuck are you talking about?

They're in their own juice.

You know, I'm really not hungry now.

Thank you.

Congressman, the handicapped children are here

for the photo opportunity.

Shit.

Well, it's been nice talking with you and, uh,

Martin, thanks for stopping by.

I'm sorry if you're having a hard time right now.

But hey, you did get to bang my wife.

Don't forget to vote.

Now where the fuck's the handicap meeting?

Psst. Hi.

Come here.

- Hi, how are you? - How am I?

- How am I? - Shh!

How the fuck do you think I am?

Well, my money would be on angry.

Good bet.

I mean, Jesus Christ, we slept together once,

and you've been screwing me ever since.

Hey, do you think I'm enjoying this?

You think I'm having fun ruining your life?

You're certainly good at it.

Look, I'm sorry for all those things

I've been saying to the reporters.

Oh, well, here's a novel idea.

Why don't you stop saying them?

Why don't you start telling the truth?

I can't. It's just-- it's--

It's Dan. He...

He what?

I just can't.

Maybe you can't, but I can.

Now, look, he told me some stuff in there,

and when I go to the press--

What are you gonna tell them?

That he's thrilled this whole thing happened,

that he wouldn't even mind if you and I slept together again.

Hmm. Well, actually, I wouldn't mind that either.

Sandra?

Martin, he wants you to go to the press.

- What? - Well, that way you keep this whole thing alive.

He'll deny everything, nobody will believe you,

and that way you'll wind up looking like an adulterer and a liar.

So, basically...

you're telling me that-- that I'm fucked.

We both are. Dan always wins.

Martin Tupper represents everything

that's wrong with this country.

A selfishness, a complete disregard

for one's fellow man.

When you vote in the primary next Tuesday,

you're not voting for me.

You're sending a message out

to all the Martin Tuppers out there.

This is our country, and we're taking it back.

Yes!

Oh, I'm sorry. I got caught up.

He's a very good speaker.

Fuck!

Goddamn pecker-headed motherfucking cocksucker!

Look, the primary is in six days, okay?

If I can just hang on till then, I'm--

Oh, my God.

They're very good shirts.

Got 'em in extra-large for sure.

Oh, I gotta get one.

What?

Uh, for Richard.

I think things are starting to die down.

I mean, nobody stopped me on the street today,

and there's nothing in the papers.

Hey!

Two screwdrivers, a Rob Roy and a Martin Tupper.

So, you were saying?

- You're speech is free! - Yes, siree!

And you've got your health.

Sure, we've got our health.

And tell me why not?

What do you want to watch, Dad?

I don't care. Anything but CNN.

This man has all the oratory skills of Billy Bibbit.

Yeah.

Hey, what do you think about this Senate Ethics Committee, huh?

Senate. Ethics.

Putting senators in charge of ethics.

It's like going out of town and asking Martin Tupper

to keep an eye on your wife.

What? It was funny.

It's just a joke, Dad.

I think it's past somebody's bedtime.

Hello.

Yeah, hang on.

It's Dan McCadden.

Ever been to Hawaii, Martin?

No.

White, sandy beaches, drinks with little umbrellas.

Pineapple chunks?

Best in the world.

Tell me about France, you know,

'cause I haven't been there either.

All right, Martin, I know you had enough

of this little scandal, and quite frankly, so have I.

Oh, really? Is the press camped out in front of your door day and night?

Huh? Is your sex life the subject of a pie chart in USA Today?

You see, that's just the problem.

You're getting more coverage than I am.

I see.

Now, here are two first-class tickets to Maui.

Hotel room, ocean view, rental car.

- Even got you the convertible. - So that's it.

I've served my purpose, and now you think

you can just ship me off to some tropical paradise.

That's the basic idea.

I'm holding a press conference this afternoon. I'm gonna bury this thing.

Do us both a favor. Get out of town.

No. Forget it.

I'm not gonna take anything from you, because--

because I don't like you, Dan.

I think you're a disgusting, vile, pernicious piece of shit.

Granted. But that's not the issue here.

Do you want to spend next week with the press up your ass?

Or would you rather be working on your tan?

Say no, Tim.

Mr. Tupper, right here. Right here.

Tell him no. Tell him no.

Attaboy.

Hang on. Girl's got your itinerary.

Oh.

I believe you two know each other.

Hello, Martin.

Hello, Sandra.

You're still very beautiful.

You wanted to see me?

What's this?

It's Fashionable magazine.

Yes, it is. Now, why don't you turn to page 37, tell me what you see.

Recipes of the candidates' wives.

You told me to do this.

Yes, I did.

But I did not tell you to give them

your grandmother's goulash recipe.

Do you think I want people to know you're Hungarian?

I don't see why you should say that.

Do you ever think?

Is that brain of yours good for anything

besides holding up your hair?

- I think I should go. - Oh, hold on, Martin.

It's all right. We're done.

I'll see you at the press conference.

When are you gonna get dressed?

Well, I thought, um... I thought I'd wear this.

Green? You're gonna stand next to me

at a press conference wearing green?

Do you want those jaundice rumors to start again?

I'm sorry.

I wasn't thinking.

It was just such a bright, sunny day that I--

Sandra, you look like a house in that.

You could put shutters and a door on that and give you an address.

- I think she looks great. - Shut up, Martin.

He yelled at me.

I want you to go home

and put on that blue and green one.

The pleats are slimming.

Congressman, the women's rights people are here.

Tomboys. How do I look?

Thanks.

All right, Martin.

Be sure you see the girl on the way out, huh?

Aloha.

You know, you really do look great.

Look, it's really not my place to ask, but...

what are you doing with that prick?

I don't know.

I'm married to him.

He treats you like shit.

Oh, that was nothing. Believe me.

What? Does he hit you?

Not in an election year.

Oh, Jesus, Sandra.

Get out, will you?

Just get out. I mean, you don't need this.

Believe me, it's not that easy.

That's what I was kind of trying to do with you.

And we all saw how well that turned out.

Do you love him?

No.

No.

But this is me.

This is my life. What else would I do?

Sandra, look, just get out.

Will you? I mean, you don't need this.

I want to. I do.

But Dan would just--

I wouldn't even know where to start.

Have a nice trip.

- I wish I could help. - You can if you have any guts.

And I feel that if I am able

to forgive my wife...

and to put this painful time behind me,

then the people of this state should be able to as well.

It's time to get back to the basic family values

that I have stood for my whole life.

And it's time to get back to the issues of this campaign.

I agree.

Mr. Tupper, I'm glad you're here.

Gives me an opportunity

to extend my hand in friendship to you as well.

- Call security. - I thank you, Dan.

And I just wanted you to know that--

Excuse me, Phil.

That even after all that's happened,

you can count on my vote Tuesday.

Because the Senate needs more men like Dan McCadden.

It's very gracious of you, Mr. Tupper.

Uh, now, if there are no more questions--

And you know, Dan, I hardly agree.

It's time we put this whole unfortunate business to rest.

How true. So we're going to move on now.

It was one night of foolish passion.

- But that's all forgotten. - Exactly.

Mom, what's Dad doing?

- I have no idea. - But as long as we're clearing the air,

there have been so many rumors and accusations.

I think we ought to set the record straight.

I think the record's pretty damn straight as it is.

Come on now, Dan, Sandra.

I think it's time we told the truth about that night.

It was a threesome.

Threesome?

It's a political term.

Oh, you are good.

And what a night it was.

He's clearly insane. Security!

Of course, Dan mostly watched.

He doesn't know what he's talking about. Sandra, tell them.

Mr. Tupper. Mr. Tupper.

Go on, Kara.

Do it.

Well, darling.

We had...

done so many drugs.

- Drugs? - Drugs?

I tell you, she's one in a million.

Perhaps you don't remember.

But let me tell you, it was some night.

And, you know, the important thing is

we have to put that all behind us now

and just get back to the issues, right?

Right?

And with only a fraction of the votes counted,

it appears former game show host Kurt Carpenter

has taken the primary with a strong 67% of the vote.

Lieutenant Governor Dorothy Rutkin

placed second with 23%,

and Congressman Dan McCadden,

who only a week ago was leading in the polls,

came in a distant third with just 6%.

More news in a moment.

People always get what they deserve.

No, no, no, no, I didn't order that.

It's from the lady.

Hi.

Hi.

So, did you vote?

Yeah.

Yeah, I went with the game show host, you know.

He's tough on crime.

I tried to call you.

No, I've been upstate visiting my mom.

I've had quite a lot of explaining to do.

Yeah, I'll bet.

So, how have you been?

I mean, life without Dan is...

Different.

Scary.

It's good.

I got an offer to do a jeans commercial,

and some people want me to host a cable show

and then there's that centerfold thing,

but I don't think I'm gonna do it.

But still, I think I'm gonna be okay.

Listen.

You think you can find time in your busy schedule

to take a few days off?

Why?

Have you ever been to Hawaii?