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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:09,139 [theme music] 2 00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,445 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 3 00:00:10,488 --> 00:00:12,403 ♪ Gonna have myself a time 4 00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:13,883 - ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 5 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,754 ♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪ 6 00:00:15,885 --> 00:00:16,973 - ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ 7 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,888 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 8 00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,672 - ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 9 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,457 ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ 10 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,675 - ♪ I'm headin' on down to South Park ♪ 11 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,808 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 12 00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:29,072 - ♪ [mumbling] ♪ 13 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,291 - ♪ Come on down to South Park ♪ 14 00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,119 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 15 00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,733 [twangy music] 16 00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:40,910 - All right, people, it's almost Thanksgiving, 17 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:44,957 and that means the annual Turkey Trot is nearly upon us. 18 00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:47,699 How is it that we haven't found one sponsor 19 00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,919 to help pay for this event? 20 00:00:49,962 --> 00:00:52,574 - South Park's just fallen on hard times, Mayor. 21 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,358 Nobody's got the money. 22 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:57,231 - Tegridy Farms used to be a sponsor of the Turkey Trot, 23 00:00:57,361 --> 00:01:00,364 but as you know, we've recently all lost Tegridy. 24 00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,540 So I'm afraid we just can't help. 25 00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,934 - What about the City Asian Pop Up Store? 26 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,241 Can't they help sponsor this year's race? 27 00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:09,939 - How City Asian Pop Up pay for Turkey Trot? 28 00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,593 We gotta pay tariff! 29 00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,551 We more fucked than anybody! 30 00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,771 - Let's just face it, Mayor, South Park businesses 31 00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:19,079 are dying and a lot of good people have lost their jobs. 32 00:01:19,122 --> 00:01:21,820 - Trash? Anybody got trash? 33 00:01:21,951 --> 00:01:24,606 - Oh, yeah, here's some. Bank shot! 34 00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:27,739 - There has to be a solution, people. 35 00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,914 The Turkey Trot is the one time of year 36 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,353 this town comes together as a community. 37 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:35,007 We all need it now, more than ever. 38 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,793 - Well, of course, there is someone 39 00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:40,752 who'd be willing to give South Park a bunch of money. 40 00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:44,973 [curious music] 41 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,977 I mean, they're giving money to everyone else. 42 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,326 Why not us? 43 00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:50,632 [music ends] 44 00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:52,851 - My God. 45 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,462 That's it! 46 00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,554 ANNOUNCER: This Thanksgiving morning, 47 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,644 lace up for holiday fun and tradition. 48 00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,995 It's the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot. 49 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,344 Sponsored by... 50 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:08,954 Saudi Arabia! 51 00:02:08,997 --> 00:02:11,870 [Arabic music playing] 52 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:15,657 ♪ 53 00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:18,181 It's a 5K race absolutely stuffed 54 00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:19,922 with Thanksgiving traditions. 55 00:02:20,009 --> 00:02:21,663 ♪ ♪ 56 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,360 And the first one across the finish line 57 00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:26,015 wins their team $5,000! 58 00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:33,153 ♪ ♪ 59 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,242 Sign up your team now! 60 00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,722 All ages are welcome! 61 00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,855 Disparaging remarks towards the Saudi Royal family 62 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,987 are strictly prohibited. 63 00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:45,687 Start your Thanksgiving with this time-honored tradition. 64 00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,602 The South Park Turkey Trot. 65 00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:49,821 [singers vocalizing] 66 00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,829 - $5,000, you guys. 67 00:02:57,873 --> 00:02:59,353 The winner of this year's Turkey Trot 68 00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,920 gets $5,000 from Saudi Arabia. 69 00:03:02,051 --> 00:03:04,401 Like, if anybody's gonna get money from Saudi Arabia, 70 00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,794 it should be us. 71 00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:08,623 - [muffled speech] 72 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,146 - And just one person has to win the race 73 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,495 and your whole team gets the money? 74 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,410 - Yeah! - Dude, that is crazy! 75 00:03:13,497 --> 00:03:15,282 - [muffled speech] 76 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:17,153 - We should just get a bunch of kids on our team, 77 00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:19,068 and then the chances of one of us winning is way better. 78 00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,244 - Yeah, but then you gotta split the prize money more ways. 79 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:22,811 - It's true, man. 80 00:03:22,853 --> 00:03:25,379 I say we keep our team to four, five runners, max. 81 00:03:25,509 --> 00:03:27,294 - Nobody said we wanted you on the team. 82 00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,730 Yeah, you kinda slow us down. 83 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,297 - Oh, no, no, no, trust me. 84 00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,690 You want me on the racing team. 85 00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:35,519 I happen to be an expert in race science, you guys. 86 00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:38,653 I know a way to give our team an optimal winning advantage. 87 00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:42,613 - Tolkien! 88 00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:43,832 Hey, man. 89 00:03:43,875 --> 00:03:45,050 Listen, I was, uh-- 90 00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,574 I was just wondering whose team 91 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,880 you're thinking of being on for the big Turkey Trot. 92 00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,534 - Turkey Trot? - You know, the big footrace 93 00:03:50,665 --> 00:03:51,970 Thanksgiving morning? 94 00:03:52,101 --> 00:03:54,321 First place wins 5,000 bucks for his whole team. 95 00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:57,237 - Oh. I'm not really a runner. 96 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,890 - Yeah, right. 97 00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,457 Of course you're a runner, Tolkien. 98 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,590 Sorry, guys, just give me one second. 99 00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,679 - What the hell is he doing? - I don't know. 100 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,897 - All right, look, Tolkien, 101 00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,725 I'm a racing science expert, OK? 102 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,858 The data shows your race always wins races. 103 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:11,468 [locker slams] 104 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,296 Whoa, whoa, Tolkien. Tolkien. 105 00:04:13,427 --> 00:04:15,080 Come on, man, it's Thanksgiving. 106 00:04:15,124 --> 00:04:16,430 If you don't want to race for yourself, 107 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,736 then do it for the needy-- Kenny and Stan. 108 00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,348 I mean, Stan's family lost their home, dude. 109 00:04:21,391 --> 00:04:23,306 Those guys could really use the money, 110 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,265 and all the analytics show that with you on the team, 111 00:04:25,308 --> 00:04:26,701 we can't lose. 112 00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:29,443 Could you--could you just do it for Thanksgiving? 113 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,096 - All right, fine. 114 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:33,011 - Yes? He said yes! 115 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,929 [suspenseful music] 116 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,105 - Jesus Christ, Mitch. 117 00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:43,239 A $5,000 prize for the Turkey Trot? 118 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:46,024 Everyone in town is gonna want to do this race. 119 00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:48,592 - I was kind of thinking of signing the family up, sir. 120 00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,986 We could really use some of that Saudi Arabian dough. 121 00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:52,857 - Can't do it, Mitch. We're gonna be busy on race day. 122 00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:54,163 COP: Sir! 123 00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:55,556 The White house is calling again. 124 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:57,297 They're demanding we release the prisoner. 125 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,558 - Tell them we're busy. 126 00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,038 - But they said if we don't comply, 127 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:01,562 they're gonna send in Pete Hegseth 128 00:05:01,692 --> 00:05:03,303 and the Department of War. 129 00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:05,522 - Who's Pete Hegseth? 130 00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:13,878 - Yeah! Yeah! 131 00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,969 Hey, what's up, guys? This is Pete Hegseth 132 00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,623 with the Department of War! 133 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:22,757 We're here to infiltrate this police station and extract a POI 134 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,499 'cause that's what we do! [barking] 135 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,764 At ease, soldier! 136 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,679 The President of the United States orders you 137 00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,595 to release custody of the prisoner to me immediately. 138 00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:40,252 - I warned you I had powerful friends. 139 00:05:40,383 --> 00:05:42,820 - Yeah, well, Totoro still has to be processed 140 00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,387 and seen by a judge. 141 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,302 And we have a big Turkey Trot to deal with, 142 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:47,651 so it's gonna be a few days. 143 00:05:47,782 --> 00:05:49,784 - Hey, man, I don't think you understand. 144 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:52,613 You're messing with the Department of War! 145 00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,005 And we mean business. 146 00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,659 We don't stand down for anyone! 147 00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,008 Be sure to like and subscribe. 148 00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,575 All right, let's do this! [barking] 149 00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,451 - All right, I certainly don't want to tangle with you guys. 150 00:06:04,538 --> 00:06:07,236 How about you just push the secret button in the floor 151 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:10,413 over here and the jail cell doors will all open. 152 00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:12,197 - The secret button? - Yeah, it's in the floor. 153 00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,503 Right there, you see it? 154 00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:16,245 It's right--there it is! - Ah, ah, ahh! 155 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,595 - Now get your little bitch ass out of my town. 156 00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,249 - Oh, you-- 157 00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,469 I dare you to do that again. 158 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:25,646 [screams] 159 00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:30,172 [indistinct chatter] 160 00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,049 - OK, and did you already register 161 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:39,616 your racing team online? 162 00:06:39,659 --> 00:06:41,879 - Yeah, it's, uh, Jimbo and Ned. 163 00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,578 We're racing with the Kiwanis Gun Club. 164 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,231 - Yes, here you go. 165 00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:48,058 Good luck with the race, happy Thanksgiving, 166 00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:50,671 and [speaks Arabic]. 167 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:54,152 - Uh, it's Mackey. Mr. Mackey, mmkay. 168 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,633 OK, Mr. Mackey, and how many on your team? 169 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,940 - Oh, I'm not on no team, mmkay. 170 00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:02,247 I need that sweet Saudi Arabian money all for myself. 171 00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,162 - All right, guys, we got our racing numbers. 172 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,860 - Damn, dude, there's so many people signing up. 173 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:06,948 How are we ever gonna win? 174 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,123 - Don't worry, you guys, 175 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,733 I've been scoping out the competition. 176 00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,518 That group over there is the Rotary Club. 177 00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:13,389 They won last year, but they're all, like, old now. 178 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,609 - Over there is the City Pop Up team. 179 00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:17,132 The race science says they'll race smart, 180 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:18,960 but not necessarily fast, so we're good there. 181 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,309 WENDY: Oh, hey, Stan. 182 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,745 You gonna do the Turkey Trot this year? 183 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,399 - Yeah. You guys are too? 184 00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,967 - Hell yeah, we are! $5,000! 185 00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,882 - Oh, yeah, I'm sure all four of you ladies 186 00:07:27,969 --> 00:07:29,971 have a really awesome chance of winning. 187 00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:32,103 - There's actually five of us. 188 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:33,670 - Hey, guys, what's up? 189 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,890 [dramatic sting] 190 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,892 - Well, we'll see you at the race. 191 00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:39,633 - All right, see ya! 192 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,897 - They're teaching race science to girls now? 193 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:45,029 What the hell kind of country are we living in? 194 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:48,468 HEGSETH: Commitment! 195 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:50,121 Strength! 196 00:07:50,207 --> 00:07:53,516 The ability to obliterate our enemies! 197 00:07:53,647 --> 00:07:56,519 That is the Department of War! 198 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:58,913 What's up, guys? I'm Pete Hegseth. 199 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,350 We're outside this woke liberal town 200 00:08:01,393 --> 00:08:03,439 that is actually defying our government, 201 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,659 and nobody defies the Department of War! 202 00:08:05,789 --> 00:08:08,444 Pete Hegseth will do whatever it takes! 203 00:08:08,575 --> 00:08:10,881 I'm here to kick bubblegum and chew ass, 204 00:08:10,925 --> 00:08:12,883 and I'm all outta ass. 205 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,364 I'll do whatever's necessary to get the job done! 206 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,452 [phone ringing] 207 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,975 Oh, yeah, look at that! 208 00:08:18,106 --> 00:08:20,282 That's the President of the United States calling me, 209 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,326 right now! 210 00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:23,154 Yes, Mr. President? 211 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:24,460 - Hegseth! 212 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,983 What the fuck are you doing? 213 00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,029 Did you get Peter Thiel? 214 00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:30,640 No, sir, we were unable to extract the prisoner. 215 00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:33,556 We were met with resistance from the woke local police force. 216 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,211 - God damn it, we gave you one job to do. 217 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,996 We need Peter Thiel here at the White house. 218 00:08:39,126 --> 00:08:40,607 - Sir, yes, sir! 219 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,826 I'm gonna need the full might of the Department of War! 220 00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,481 I'll need all our tanks and guns and dudes! 221 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,961 - Then you've got it. 222 00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,746 Just get us the prisoner, no matter what it takes! 223 00:08:49,833 --> 00:08:51,269 - Hell yeah! 224 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,968 - And Hegseth, don't just make a bunch of content. 225 00:08:54,055 --> 00:08:56,710 Like, actually go and do something. 226 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:00,931 - [quietly] Be sure to like and subscribe, guys. 227 00:09:01,062 --> 00:09:03,543 Yes, sir, Mr. President! I will make this town pay! 228 00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,285 - God, he is such a douchebag. 229 00:09:07,416 --> 00:09:11,202 - All right, men, we'll have a full army here by tomorrow. 230 00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,378 And then that smalltown cop 231 00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,381 is gonna see he messed with the wrong guy. 232 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,263 - It's the morning of the big race, 233 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:30,787 and all of South Park appears to have turned out 234 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,094 in the spirit of community. 235 00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,878 People are putting on their numbers 236 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:38,316 and rocking out their festive costumes. 237 00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,231 I'm with Police Chief Harris, 238 00:09:40,275 --> 00:09:42,799 and Chief, your guys have been working overtime. 239 00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,627 - Yeah, well, we just want to make sure 240 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,195 everyone has a safe Thanksgiving morning. 241 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,806 We want people to stay hydrated and be responsible. 242 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,895 Let's have a good Turkey Trot. 243 00:09:51,982 --> 00:09:53,549 - Now, of course, there's a lot of money on the line 244 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,333 for the team of the race winner, 245 00:09:55,464 --> 00:09:58,859 and so some people are turning to race science. 246 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,338 - That's right, you know, a lot of people these days 247 00:10:00,469 --> 00:10:01,905 want to debunk science. 248 00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,298 You know, vaccine's cause autism, 249 00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,082 jet fuel leaves chemtrails, 250 00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,998 but when it comes to racing science, it's science. 251 00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:11,828 - Certainly a lot of runners hoping to cash in today, 252 00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:15,049 so may the best turkey win. 253 00:10:17,138 --> 00:10:18,574 - All right, you guys ready to run? 254 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:20,358 We got this. Come on, team, let's go! 255 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:22,447 Where's Tolkien? - Oh, you didn't hear? 256 00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,753 - I didn't hear what? 257 00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:24,972 - Tolkien says he's not gonna race. 258 00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,932 - What do you mean Tolkien's not going to race? 259 00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,891 - He said because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia, 260 00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,806 he's bowing out for political reasons. 261 00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,069 - Are you fucking joking? - No. 262 00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:37,288 - God damn it, wait here! 263 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:43,643 - Welcome, everyone to the 28th annual South Park Turkey Trot! 264 00:10:43,686 --> 00:10:45,601 [cheers and applause] 265 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,603 This is a wonderful turnout, 266 00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:51,259 and I'm sure you'll all help me in thanking this year's sponsor, 267 00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,043 Saudi Arabia! 268 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:55,742 [cheers and applause] 269 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,312 - Holy shit! 270 00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:07,318 Holy shit, we've got an Antifa uprising! 271 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:09,756 All right, Department of War, listen up! 272 00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,628 The people of this town are starting an insurrection! 273 00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:16,458 But they will not stand in the way of us getting our man! 274 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:18,460 [knocking on door] 275 00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,114 ERIC: Tolkien! 276 00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:21,898 Tolkien? 277 00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:22,986 Tolkien! 278 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,466 [banging on door] 279 00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:25,510 [door opens] 280 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,123 Dude, what the hell are you doing? 281 00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:30,559 - Playing "Arc Raiders." 282 00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:31,778 - The guys said you're not gonna race 283 00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,518 because it's being sponsored by Saudi Arabia? 284 00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,390 - Yeah, just doesn't feel right. 285 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,261 - "It doesn't feel right"? 286 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:40,787 - Yeah, doesn't feel right. - "It doesn't feel right"? 287 00:11:40,874 --> 00:11:42,527 What, Tolkien, you don't like that Saudi Arabia 288 00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:43,920 is buying American stuff? 289 00:11:43,964 --> 00:11:45,661 They're trying to be progressive, OK? 290 00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,750 You want them to go back to what they were doing? 291 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,883 You want Saudi Arabia to just go back to cutting people up 292 00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,928 and paying Kevin Hart? Is that what you want? 293 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,364 - I can't see the screen. 294 00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:54,801 - Tolkien, you can't whine about a country 295 00:11:54,888 --> 00:11:56,628 trying to come into the 21st century. 296 00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,370 Them wanting to help pay for American things is good. 297 00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,329 'Cause guess what? If Saudi Arabia is out 298 00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:02,547 paying for sporting events, 299 00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:03,810 they're not out hacking up reporters 300 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,899 and inviting Pete Davidson to come do comedy. 301 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,605 - All right, everyone, on your mark... 302 00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,266 Get set... 303 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:34,971 [gunshot] 304 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,451 - Holy shit! 305 00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,714 Shots fired! Shots fired! 306 00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:42,457 Get set up over there! We need content! Now! 307 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,938 What's up, guys? Pete Hegseth, Department of War. 308 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:46,635 We are being fired upon! 309 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,464 There's an uprising here. Some kind of insurrection. 310 00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,596 Make sure to like and subscribe! 311 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:54,556 [indistinct happy chatter] 312 00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:58,212 - You can hear the liberal terrorists 313 00:12:58,299 --> 00:13:00,431 all screaming and chanting behind us. 314 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:01,998 We're gonna take 'em on! 315 00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:03,565 Just another day in the Department of War! 316 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,784 Let's move out! 317 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,047 - Did you know that since 2018, 318 00:13:07,090 --> 00:13:09,527 they actually allow women to drive in Saudi Arabia? 319 00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,269 They allow women to drive! 320 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:15,620 It's like practically a lesbian utopia over there. 321 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:18,101 - Can you please just let me enjoy my Thanksgiving morning? 322 00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,451 - Oh, yeah, sure, who cares about lesbian utopia? 323 00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,714 Not Tolkien. Tolkien wants Saudi Arabia 324 00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:24,455 to just keep chopping off gay people's heads. 325 00:13:24,499 --> 00:13:26,022 That's way better, isn't it? 326 00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:28,764 You're being a dick, bro. - Go away. 327 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,463 - All right, Tolkien, you know what? 328 00:13:32,507 --> 00:13:34,726 Fine. If you really don't want to be 329 00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:38,034 a part of our country embracing Saudi Arabia's desire to change, 330 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,819 then we don't need you. 331 00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,607 - Hey! 332 00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:48,784 Hey, gimme back my Xbox! 333 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,221 - Come get it, asshole! 334 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:55,486 [footsteps thudding] 335 00:13:59,316 --> 00:14:00,491 - Come on. 336 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493 Come on, we gotta get that money. 337 00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:05,583 - The rioting terrorists appear to be advancing 338 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,281 north, northeast. 339 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,978 Our plan, gentlemen, 340 00:14:09,109 --> 00:14:12,286 is to intercept them at this location here, 341 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,115 and get as much content as we possibly can. 342 00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,292 It's quite possible we'll also be needing to get content 343 00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:20,163 in this area, so be ready. 344 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:23,253 Third Battalion, you'll be posting up here. 345 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:26,082 I want you posting on Instagram and Twitter. 346 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,867 Alpha Team post here. 347 00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,651 Bravo Team content there. 348 00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:32,697 [tires squealing] 349 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,656 - All right, everyone, stand by. 350 00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:36,310 At ease, soldier. 351 00:14:36,353 --> 00:14:38,181 We heard there's a civilian uprising. 352 00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,314 - Yeah, we don't need Homeland Security's help. 353 00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,098 We got it. - We're just here to assist 354 00:14:42,185 --> 00:14:43,360 in any way we can. 355 00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,319 That's what Homeland Security does. 356 00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,103 Be sure to like and subscribe, guys. 357 00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,931 We've got a-- - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 358 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,759 This is not your content. 359 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,675 Everyone like and subscribe to Department of War! 360 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:56,678 [cheering] 361 00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:04,425 - [panting] 362 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,905 - Come on. Come on. 363 00:15:05,992 --> 00:15:08,081 You got this. I got it. 364 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:11,345 [cheering] 365 00:15:11,388 --> 00:15:14,957 - [panting] 366 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:18,134 - God damn it! Gimme my Xbox! 367 00:15:18,221 --> 00:15:21,703 - Tolkien, how can you not catch up to me? 368 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:23,618 [pants] 369 00:15:23,748 --> 00:15:26,403 You're not even trying! 370 00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,970 - I am trying! 371 00:15:28,101 --> 00:15:32,148 I told you, I'm not a runner! 372 00:15:32,192 --> 00:15:33,628 - Yes, you are! 373 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:37,023 Will you stop fucking around? 374 00:15:52,908 --> 00:15:54,605 - Homeland Security to Department of War. 375 00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:57,782 The protestors are headed your way. 376 00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:59,610 - Stand down, Homeland Security. 377 00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:01,177 This is our content. 378 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,570 - There's too many of 'em! 379 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,921 [dog barking] 380 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,968 [gunfire] [dog whimpers] 381 00:16:14,234 --> 00:16:15,800 - Here they come. 382 00:16:15,844 --> 00:16:18,412 Everyone, hold your positions! 383 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:20,805 Department of War will not be intimidated! 384 00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:26,115 Hold. 385 00:16:27,725 --> 00:16:29,858 Hold! 386 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:34,602 Fire the tear gas! Yeah! 387 00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:35,864 [cannister clatters] 388 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,954 [all shouting and coughing] 389 00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:43,263 - [coughing] Dude. 390 00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:44,699 Dude, which way are we supposed to go? 391 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,615 - [coughing] I can't--I can't see nothing. 392 00:16:47,745 --> 00:16:51,227 - [coughing] 393 00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:53,186 - Tolkien? Tolkien! 394 00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:55,797 - [coughing] Where the hell did you go? 395 00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:02,238 [distant booming and shouting] 396 00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:12,988 [bell dings] - [coughing] 397 00:17:13,031 --> 00:17:15,077 What the hell's going on? 398 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:16,425 - We don't know. 399 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,037 - Well, how the hell are we supposed to race 400 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,255 if they've blocked the road? 401 00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:21,040 [thudding] 402 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,867 [squeaking] 403 00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:25,740 - Look, all I know is that 404 00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:28,351 the Stotch family is in big financial trouble this year. 405 00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,397 We have to reach that finish line. 406 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:33,139 - You think you fucked? We gotta pay tariff! 407 00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,358 That prize money is our only chance. 408 00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,013 - Does anyone have a Turkey Trot route map? 409 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,667 - Yeah, I've got one here. 410 00:17:39,710 --> 00:17:40,624 - All right, let's see. 411 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,238 So if this area's all blocked off, 412 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,935 then our best chance at getting to the finish line 413 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,371 is detouring through here. 414 00:17:48,502 --> 00:17:51,548 - No, no, we should go this way through the underpass. 415 00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:53,681 BUTTERS' DAD: Are you crazy? That's too much of a shortcut. 416 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,596 We could get disqualified. 417 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:58,947 - All that matters is that it's OK with Saudi Arabia. 418 00:17:59,034 --> 00:18:02,603 Would going this way be OK with Saudi Arabia? 419 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,997 - There's no way to be sure what Saudi Arabia wants. 420 00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,262 All I know is, I need their money. 421 00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:12,743 So I'm gonna go out there and take my chances. 422 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:15,703 ['80s rock music] 423 00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,748 ♪ ♪ 424 00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,010 - What's up, guys? 425 00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:20,490 Pete Hegseth, Department of War. 426 00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:22,362 We've got the Narco terrorists on the run 427 00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:23,885 and we're gonna take 'em out. 428 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,322 Yeah! 429 00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:32,633 - ♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪ 430 00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:38,595 ♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪ 431 00:18:38,726 --> 00:18:40,162 ♪ Acting like a tough guy ♪ 432 00:18:40,206 --> 00:18:44,732 ♪ Posting it around the world ♪ 433 00:18:44,775 --> 00:18:46,212 ♪ Making lots of content 434 00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:50,651 ♪ Like a little teenage girl ♪ 435 00:18:50,781 --> 00:18:57,440 ♪ Pete Hegseth's a fucking douche ♪ 436 00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:01,531 ♪ Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche ♪ 437 00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:04,708 [gunfire] 438 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:05,927 [siren blips] 439 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:11,672 - All right, buddy. 440 00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,413 I don't know what you think you're doing, 441 00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:16,372 but I'm pretty sure I told you to get the hell out of my town. 442 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,461 - [scoffs] Oh, yeah? 443 00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,811 Well, what do you think you're gonna do about it? 444 00:19:20,942 --> 00:19:23,466 [dramatic music] 445 00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:26,469 - Hello? 446 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,384 Hello? 447 00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:29,777 Anybody? 448 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,952 - Give me my Xbox! 449 00:19:31,039 --> 00:19:32,345 CARTMAN: Ah! 450 00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,264 What is your problem, man? 451 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,657 You could've made this an amazing Thanksgiving. 452 00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:44,183 [coughs] For Stan. For Kenny. 453 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,272 But you just wanna play games. 454 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:48,622 - [coughs] For the last time, 455 00:19:48,709 --> 00:19:51,494 just because I'm Black doesn't mean I run fast! 456 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,105 - Yes, you do. 457 00:19:54,236 --> 00:19:56,369 You just weren't trying because you have a problem 458 00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,719 with Saudia Arabia joining the global community. 459 00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,721 - That has nothing to do with you being a racist. 460 00:20:00,851 --> 00:20:02,201 - Oh, I'm a racist? 461 00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:03,811 You want Saudi Arabia 462 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,987 to just keep stuffing journalists into suitcases, 463 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:07,206 but I'm the racist! 464 00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,164 - I'm going home. 465 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,253 - OK, fine, forget it. 466 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,689 TOLKIEN: Yeah, I will forget it! 467 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:14,648 And I can think whatever I want! 468 00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,215 - OK, you're right, Tolkien. 469 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,433 - Yeah, I know I'm right! 470 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,652 - OK, that's cool. 471 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,044 Have a good Thanksgiving, man. 472 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:21,481 - I will have a good Thanksgiving 473 00:20:21,524 --> 00:20:23,309 'cause I won't be listening to your stupid bullshit! 474 00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:24,919 - Yep, sounds good. 475 00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,355 Enjoy the holidays with your loved ones. 476 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,887 - Oh, God damn it. 477 00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:39,281 - Yes! Race science! 478 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,240 Race science! 479 00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,939 [triumphant music] 480 00:20:45,069 --> 00:20:47,898 - On behalf of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia 481 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:51,902 and His Royal Highness Mohammed bin Salman Al Saud, 482 00:20:51,946 --> 00:20:54,470 this year's Turkey Trot grand prize 483 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:57,473 goes to the team of South Park's very own 484 00:20:57,517 --> 00:20:58,953 Tolkien Black! 485 00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:00,911 [upbeat Saudi Arabian music] 486 00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:04,437 [camera shutters clicking] 487 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:06,700 - We did it, dude. 488 00:21:06,743 --> 00:21:08,919 HARRIS: It's right there. You see it? 489 00:21:09,006 --> 00:21:11,574 It's right there! - [screams] 490 00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:13,272 - There you go. Almost there. 491 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:14,708 - [screams] 492 00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:18,538 [screams] 493 00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:20,017 [door slams] 494 00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:23,934 - All right, guys, that about wraps it up. 495 00:21:24,021 --> 00:21:25,806 Let's get home and eat some turkey. 496 00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:27,460 - You son of a bitch! 497 00:21:27,503 --> 00:21:29,288 The president will come for us! 498 00:21:29,375 --> 00:21:31,246 - Yeah, maybe so. 499 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,727 Judge will see you Monday. 500 00:21:33,770 --> 00:21:35,032 [ominous music] 501 00:21:35,163 --> 00:21:37,513 - South Park's gonna pay for this. 502 00:21:37,557 --> 00:21:39,646 They're all gonna pay. 503 00:21:42,083 --> 00:21:44,955 [theme music] 504 00:21:45,086 --> 00:21:51,962 ♪ ♪ 34542

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