All language subtitles for The erotic adventures of robin hood (1969)

♪ I'll sing you a song of Robin
Hood ♪

♪ A bawdy tale but true

♪ And he'll steal all your
money, it's understood ♪

♪ But he'll love all your
daughters, too ♪

♪ Now Little John so hard and
strong ♪

♪ A gentle man not mean

♪ His staff of tim-

Just a second, little man.

And just who are these
men you're bragging about?

Don't laugh at me, Robin.

I'm a good a man as you'll find.

I don't doubt that, minstrel.

How would you like a chance to sing for us?

I'd like that very much.

That's all we need, a singing titmouse.

What are you going to do,
lullaby us to sleep, little man?

The only way I'll ever sing you to sleep

will be to the tune of breaking my mandolin

over your stupid head.

What are you doing?

Put me down, you blithering giant!

Robin Hood, Robin Hood!

I swear if I hear that name just once more!

But we've tried practically
everything we know

to capture Robin Hood.

You call yourself the
Sheriff of Nottingham?

Rather the sheriff of naught, zero!

Precisely what have your tax collectors

brought to my treasury lately?

A treasury that needs every
strength it can muster

to protect us against
the threats to my throne.

Well, have you nothing to say?

Sire, the taxes were collected as ordered.

Every ha'penny I could
squeeze from the populace.

Even more, sire, by the coaxing
with a cat of nine tails,

or the setting afire to some farm.

You put the torch to some knave's farm?

But what about a torch to
the scourge Robin Hood?

There is your task, Sheriff.

I am sworn to serve you, my prince.

Even with my very life.

You may do very well that, Sheriff,

unless you bring Robin Hood to his knees.

Well, what are your plans this time?

We've tried practically everything, sire.

But once he disappears inside that forest,

he's like a phantom ghost.

Phantom ghost?

Then find me a phantom army
to cope with this knave,

or you shall rue your failures.

You will find he is no different
than any other mortal man

when he hangs from a
tree, starving for breath.

We must find some way to
get him out of the forest.

Get who out of the forest?

Lady Sallyforth, please come in.

Dire news, your majesty.

Of a most serious nature.

Always the bandit Robin.

Couldn't help overhearing.

And from the looks of things,

you seem to be having a slight problem.

No different than we've had all along.

But I would hardly call it slight.

Mean to tell me with all your men,

you can't catch one common
little band of thieves?

M'lady, it would be simple

if we could get him out into the open,

but you see, Sherwood Forest
is a mulberry thicket,

and Robin Hood is the rabbit.

He's safe, and he knows it.

He'd be mad to ply his
trade outside of Sherwood.

Yes.

One must first coax the fox
into the open before the chase.

So perhaps, perhaps we could
entice him out of the woods.

All we need is the proper bait.

We await your proposal, my sister.

Well, as our French cousins say.

Find the woman.

From what the Sheriff tells us,

he has enough camp followers now

that he doesn't know what to do with them.

Indeed, my brother.

It would have to be a very
special kind of woman.

Perhaps Sir Guy could put his
thoughts in that direction.

With me, m'lady, it is not a direction,

but a way of life.

I shall put my brain to the rack, my liege.

Meanwhile, I should like to request

an escort to my castle.

I have some things I want to take care of.

You can see to that, Sheriff?

And perhaps, while you're in the vicinity,

you may find some people

who have been late with their taxes?

Well, sire?

There is a section of Devonshire

that still needs to be collected.

Well, you know how
badly we need that money.

We do not know when Richard
will be released by the Normans,

and we must have an army to meet him.

My brother will not cheat me out of this.

Richard must not return as king.

You like the entertainment
so far, Will Scarlett?

I swear I cannot bear to watch.

Little John, tell me.

Does this sort of thing happen often?

Yes, it's sort of a tradition.

Goes back to the way Robin and I met.

Isn't this better than fighting?

Robin took a pretty lass
beside the stream to lie.

He changed his state of being fast,

before she e'er could sigh.

Bless you, my child!

Good God, Sheriff.

Must you always be so obvious?

Pardon, my lady?

You're just so damned obvious, you bore me.

When you look at my handmaiden,

or any maiden for that matter,

with such lecherous yearnings.

And when you look at my brother John,

it's with the eyes of a hungry dog,

eager to lap the crumbs from his boots.

It's disgusting.

With all respect, my lady,

I grow weary at your incessant baiting.

It's time we moved on.

You sweat, Sheriff?

Is it the heat, or the
thought of Robin Hood?

Perhaps if you had my responsibilities.

Oh, but I do.

If you'll recall, my castle

was once the proud property
of Robin Hood's family.

And I intend to keep it.

That's my responsibility.

It's wise to be wary,

but do not mistake my caution for fear.

My courage is second to no man's.

Then prove it.

Take me through that corner of Sherwood.

Squire Robin's private section of England.

And perhaps I'll believe you.

Robin?

Robin!

What the hell do you want?

Well, you are needed.

The Sheriff of Nottingham has
been spotted in the forest.

So the sheriff comes to us for company.

Well, I believe we can give him

all the entertainment he can stand.

In fact, I shall be the perfect host.

Don't worry, Sheriff.

Nobody's going to hurt you, yet.

It's a surprise party we'll
be having for you, Sheriff.

We'd hate to have you
peek and spoil your fun.

I'm exhausted.

I'm not that exhausted.

My lady.

Robin, I've taken care of the Sheriff.

What do we do with her?

Take her to my tent for the time being.

She'll have to rest up for
what's in store for her later.

You always win.

As often as I can.

That money should be put to God's work.

Five for Friar, and five for God.

Thank you.

Ha!

And some for the Friar, and some for God.

Tell me, my lady.

Can you still see the
lake through the trees

when you stand on the eastern balcony?

Look, if you're going to kill me, do so.

But spare me your sentimental drivel.

Oh, don't worry, my lady.

You will live to see the
Castle of Locksley again.

I consider it a privilege to have

the sister of our noble prince
taking care of my estate.

But I promise you, your
time there is short.

I consider your promise

to be as good as your outlaw manners!

You may someday have to worry
about an outlaw's promise.

Our manners, my fair princess, are our fun.

Gallows bait!

Mangy animals.

We need this money for Richard.

Robin, we meant no harm.

We were just having a little fun.

Don't try my patience, Will.

I may get tired of it.

Go and feast, friends.

There's enough for all of you
without sneaking this money.

I believe you have something of mine.

Why don't you look and see?

Surely your Richard
wouldn't begrudge this maid

a few of those pretty coins.

After all, who would know?

You've treasures enough, lass.

It's a warmed bottom you're lacking.

You wouldn't dare!

I wouldn't wager on it.

Damn it, Robin!

Can't you do anything
better with your hands?

Another time, you greedy little wench.

If you're going to stay with us,

you're going to have to improve your taste.

Yes, m'lord.

Not hungry?

Oh, thirsty then.

Surely one needs no
appetite for vintage wine.

Then tell me, Sheriff.

Are you pleased with the sport?

Perhaps our honored guest
requires more royal treatment.

Perhaps he needs to be hand fed.

By all means, then.

To our honored courier of the princes

who makes it a practice to put a ransom

on the heads of my men,

I hereby dub thee, knight of the forest.

Have your sport, Robin.

Leader of scum and lawbreakers.

Noble or otherwise, Lord Robin,

Prince John will have your head

as he has other traitors before you.

Traitors?

Who is it that batters down
the doors of the innocent

to rape and plunder, to despoil?

We'll give you a message to take back

to your prince, good Sheriff.

Unless you're a carcass tied to a mule.

The message, good Sheriff,

is that Robin Hood will never rest

until England breathes freely again.

And that will be when
Prince John can no longer

squeeze his populace dry
with his infernal taxes.

They're a crude bunch
of bastards, are they not?

Must be quite a change

from those powderpuffs at your castle.

Untie me at once.

I will.

First, I'd like to know you better.

Who are you?

You one of them?

Me?

A part of that bunch of cutthroats?

My name's Polly, and I've
been held captive here

for the last three weeks.

Believe me, I want to get out
of here just as bad as you do.

It's so much better than those oafs.

They stink like wild boar, they do.

If I had to choose between you and a leper,

I'd take the bloody leper!

You stupid, bungling fool!

Bad enough the disgrace
you brought upon yourself.

Did you have to include
Lady Sallyforth, too?

It couldn't be helped, sire.

They were on us before
we knew what happened.

Sheriff?

I must have that gold to
defeat Richard's armies.

Is there no one I can rely on?

Perhaps it might've
been better, good Sheriff,

if you had not escaped
with this rather dire news.

What should we do with this incompetent?

Draw and quarter him for
hanging in the public square?

Well, your majesty, perhaps
he can barter for your mercy

with a brilliant plan towards our goal.

Do you remember, Sheriff,

a plan we were talking
about, concerning bait

to lure your nemesis Robin
Hood out into the open?

Am I to surmise that you
two have found a solution?

Well, the subject has
been rather near and dear

to our hearts of late, your majesty, yes.

Well, what is this bait
you're talking about?

I know you're well acquainted
with riding bareback,

good Sheriff, but how
are you at sidesaddle?

Well, I-

I'm surprised you didn't
think of it yourself, my liege.

Don't toy with me, Guy.

I am dependent on no one.

There is a maiden serving a term

at your court, your majesty,

who was at one time betrothed
to Robin of Locksley.

You refer to Maid Marian.

I had given thought to the idea,

and she is indeed proper bait.

Unfortunately, there are
certain amenities of the court

which deny us the right
to set forth noble bait

for the claws of a bandit chief.

Very true, sire.

And yet, are we not all
pledged to give even our lives

in defense of your majesty's kingdom?

Well spoken, Sir Guy.

We cannot allow one maiden
to stand in the way of many,

now can we?

Maid Marian, it's been so
long since you've seen Robin.

They say he's become nothing
more than a common thief.

We don't know that, Tina.

It's not fair for us to judge him.

Well, you are a member of
the prince's court, you know.

And you have to leave such thoughts alone.

I may never leave such thoughts alone.

Before I had to come here,

we meant a great deal to each other.

Now come on, you little gossip.

Help me with my hair.

I know what we hear in
court isn't very flattering,

but I just can't believe that Robin's

become quite the rogue they say he has.

Do you doubt the feelings
of the royal court?

Leave us, servant girl.

I would have some words with your mistress.

So this is the bait for our prize fish.

What is it, my liege?

We've come to ask your help for this court.

We have need of your services.

I understand that you once
knew the outlaw, Robin Hood.

I knew one named Robin of Locksley.

I was...

Anyway, I don't know this Robin Hood.

Your allegiance to this court
has never been questioned.

We now ask you to help
rid our land of a bandit.

You'll take your handmaiden,

go into the forest, and find Robin Hood.

It has been a long
time since I've seen him.

I don't even know if he would recognize me.

Perhaps it would be better if someone else.

He would know you, and you will go.

I understand you're serving out your term

as a lady of the court?

I would regret having to tell you

that your father's holdings

could no longer support you, ever again.

You will go into the forest,
and let Robin Hood find you.

And remember how beautiful you are.

In the morning, you will ask him

to take you back for your things.

We shall be waiting where
the three paths meet.

That's like murder!

I can't lead him blindly into a trap.

If you are loyal to England,

and if you want to see your father again,

you will do as I say.

Don't doubt me, Marian.

I mean what I say.

Hey.

Hold still, you wench.

Get over here!

So you're Marian, huh?

Well, we'll soon see.

Robin won't be here

until the sun burns
through this beastly fog.

Put her in there.

Get your hands off me, you bandit!

Inside, my lady.

What of this one?

This one interests me.

Go care for their horses.

Hold on!

Spirited little wench, eh?

As spirited as you, you big oaf.

Oh yeah?

How'd you get away?

How'd you escape the court?

Well, I'm not a prisoner.

I must serve my time at court,

but I can come and go when I please.

At least I still have that freedom.

There's no real freedom for any of us.

Oh Robin, how can you live this way?

You aren't meant to live like a thief,

hiding away in the darkness of this forest.

Marian?

If you still love me, you must
listen to what I have to say.

I'm not meant to live my life

hidden away in the depth of these woods,

but neither I nor my men have a choice.

We're not outlaws by choice.

We don't live in tents by choice.

Someone else has chosen for us.

Then why are you feared?

Why do I only hear your
name whispered in fear?

How else could you hear it?

John had murdered your
father and raped your mother.

He thought you dead.

Oh, Marian, can't you see?

I'm living proof of what kind
of bastard John really is.

Oh, I don't know, Robin.

I want to believe you.

But all of this, it just can't be right.

I have sworn allegiance.

Allegiance to Prince
John's cause over mine?

Robin?

Robin, let me talk to Prince John.

He'll grant you a full pardon,
and for your men as well.

Robin, please.

A full pardon from a
tyrant who lies and cheats

for his own selfish purposes?

And what of you, Robin?

A life of banditry,
terror, constant change?

No home, no family, always hunted,

and with a price on your head.

So it shall be, 'til Richard
returns to his rightful rule,

and grants me a pardon.

I could not live like this, Robin.

I could not.

Then you have no place here, Marian.

You're no longer welcome.

Get out of here!

♪ Marian, oh Marian

♪ Sweet maiden

Get away from me!

Come, come, love.

Robin's not the only man in
Sherwood Forest, you know.

Don't be afraid.

We just want to keep you
happy until Robin's turn.

Little bitch.

Will!

In God's name, Will, what's wrong with you?

If Robin catches you, he'll tear you apart.

I'm just trying to stop
her from running away.

You go back to camp, I'll handle this.

Ah, ow, oh my god!

I need fighting men, men I can trust!

Not a cheap womanizer and a rapist.

Don't, Robin.

You'll find I'm a better man than this.

Oh, careful little one.

I don't want to lose my
head over you right now.

From now on, little one,

there's going to be one to look after you.

And you, you big bear,

have someone to keep track of you.

I was wrong about you, Robin.

We just needed some time together.

I hope you won't hate me.

But I have to tell you this.

I was sent here by Prince John.

He wanted me to lead you

to the place where the three paths meet.

He was going to ambush you.

Well, we'll just surprise our friend.

In the morning, I will take you

to where the path meets the river.

That way, you can get your things

and our friend the prince will
be out looking for ghosts.

Remember to take as many
precautions as possible.

We finally have Robin
Hood where we want him,

and we do not want him slipping
through our fingers again.

And what of the news of Richard?

It's but a rumor.

There's no way of being sure.

But even if he does escape,
it would take many months

before he could muster
enough strength to meet ours.

One could hope so, yes.

And of course, once Robin
Hood is out of the way,

we'll be able to levy enough taxes

to make our own forces even stronger.

Robin Hood, eh?

That little matter will be taken care of

in just a few hours.

A visitor to see you, sir, a woman.

Polly McGuire.

Polly McGuire?

I don't know any Polly McGuire.

She claims she just came
from Robin Hood's camp.

Well, bring her in.

Well, this should prove interesting.

I think I have some
news that will interest you.

May I sit down?

Please do.

Sir?

You have been betrayed.

Marian, Marian has told
Robin of your ambush.

He plans to go by another route.

He'll stay deeper in the
forest, and bypass your men.

Well then, thank you for
bringing me this information.

Now I suppose-

I suppose our little informer
expects a suitable reward?

I have just the thing for her.

I saw your visitor entering,

so I decided to follow,

as she and I got acquainted

at Robin Hood's camp only recently.

I couldn't help overhearing
your little discussion,

and I'd like to return some
of the hospitality received

at her charming little retreat.

Perhaps I'd better leave now.

Oh no, no, no.

That wouldn't be polite.

After all, my sister is offering you

the hospitality of the court,

and I'm sure you'd enjoy yourself.

Come with me, darling.

Do you suppose she's telling the truth?

Doesn't matter whether she is or not.

We will just move a little
deeper into the woods.

We can still catch our prey unsuspecting.

But I think we'd better start.

We have a little more to
do now than we did before.

Why don't you tell me where Robin

keeps all that pretty gold?

I don't know, m'lady.

Honestly, I don't know.

I don't know, really I don't know.

M'lady, I've betrayed Robin already.

Don't you think I'd tell you
where the gold is if I knew?

Where's the gold?

Please, please, I don't know!

All right.

Guards!

This meeting is long overdue, Robin Hood.

Our thanks to you, maid, for your services.

You don't seem quite so formidable

in your present condition.

Marian?

You've betrayed me for the last time.

I wanna know where his camp is.

I don't know, they took us in blindfolded.

I'm giving you one last chance.

I'm sending you down to
Robin's cell with a guard.

I want to know where his camp is,

and where that money is hidden.

I know he's given some of
it away to the peasants,

but he has the bulk of it
hidden to give to Richard.

I was only there once,
I don't know where it is.

If you don't, there's a hangman waiting

to stretch your pretty neck,
as well as your father's.

Tomorrow, I entertain all the warlords

that are pledged to me.

I wouldn't want to spoil the
feast with a dual hanging.

You have one hour.

One hour!

We've got instructions from Prince John

to let her see him.

What are you doing here?

Off on another little
mission for your prince?

Oh Robin, listen to me, please.

I listened to you before

and you can see what it got me.

He says he'll hang both me and my father

if I can't learn where
you've hidden his gold.

Alas, poor, pitiful maiden.

And I'm supposed to fall prey

to your lies and treachery again?

It was foolish of you to come here, Marian.

You might get raped,

like you almost did in my camp.

What can I do to prove to you, Robin?

I'm ready to throw my lot in with yours.

You can prove nothing,

now that you know it's too late.

But if I hang, then so do you die.

I have great faith in the success

of our little plot, Sheriff.

The sentence of death hanging
over the girl and her father

if she should fail her mission

should be quite a convincing argument.

So it is, Sir Guy.

I feel confident that she
will achieve her mission

and can tell us where the hoard is cached

before the night is over.

Tomorrow, the prince is
secretly entertaining

all the warlords who have
pledged their power to him.

It will be an apt
announcement to make then.

All the warlords, here?

Tomorrow night.

Hm, will there be many men on guard?

Robin's devotees will do
anything to try and free him.

There will be a token
force about the castle.

Considering the guest list, I feel certain

that's all we should need.

Guard!

Guard, let me out.

Oh, my, my.

Laura.

Dear, dear Marian.

To think that we've laughed, and danced,

and played together in court for years,

and now to have it all end like this.

It is tragic.

Oh Laura, what are you doing here?

What's going to happen to me?

Yes.

It is frightening down here, isn't it?

Now, how on earth do you
think this would work?

The things they think up.

I don't know.

Laura, please get me out of here.

Maybe it goes like this!

Oh, we've been friends!

Why must you?

Oh, there there, dear.

You mustn't fret so.

John says you've been a bad girl.

We don't like bad girls,

so John says that you and your father

will have to pay for your badness, soon.

But first, we're going to
have a little fun together,

just the two of us.

But there's still time to learn things.

Soft, girl things that
your traitorous Robin

and his arrogant maleness
couldn't possibly know.

So you won't feel
uncomfortable, dear Marian,

being the only one naked, I mean.

All right, you stubborn little bitch!

We'll play it your way for a while.

God, oh god no!

You always were a little prig at court,

so I anticipated you, my dear,

and brought something to tickle your fancy.

Oh no, little pigeon.

No, no, the idea is to hold
your body perfectly still.

Then that soft skin won't feel

the pretty pricks of those spikes.

That would hurt.

I admire your courage, sweet maid.

But I tire of it, too.

Oh god, no!

God has no say here, my pet.

Only you can exchange
your pain for pleasure.

No, oh god!

Oh god, please, I'll do
anything you want, anything!

Please stop, I beg you!

There, there, my pet.

I'll put salve on your wounds.

But first, you must show
me your appreciation.

Why don't we start here, my pet?

Then after a while, we'll
lower you a little more

and well, I'm sure you understand.

Lend me a hand, old buddy.

Here I am, fighting for Marian's life,

and you're wallowing
around like a silly walrus!

Why so serious, Robin?

What's the matter?

Tina has been killed!

Oh god.

Marian is in that damn cell.

Friar, the moment is right.

We've waited long enough.

Tina is dead.

Oh god.

Who will tell John?

You will, my godly friend.

Marian may not live out the day.

John will have all the heads of his forces

at castle tonight for a banquet.

We'll make it a meal they'll never forget.

Aye.

You seek me, Friar?

Yes, John.

But I would rather not be
the bearer of these tidings.

Come, come, come.

You act as somber as you
might without a full belly.

Treat me kindly, and I will slay

10 wild geese for your feasting.

Well, what are the tidings?

John, my dear friend.

She is dead.

- Who is dead?
- Your Tina.

You make jokes of something
too sweet and tender.

Too dear to me.

It is no joke, John.

She was slain.

She was ravished, by one who
does the devil's bidding.

So gentle.

So kind a maiden.

So loving.

She had naught but love to give.

Who would slay her?

The Sheriff of Nottingham.

Oh, I swear.

I swear by the power of right
that I shall avenge her!

I shall avenge you, Tina!

This is the entrance to
the tunnel Marian told me of.

If this door could be pried open,

we can gain access to the castle.

Nothing can stand between me

and the Sheriff of Nottingham.

My noble gentlemen,

word reaches us that
Richard has raised an army

whose purpose it is to march on my kingdom

before the next fortnight
to reclaim his throne,

a throne which rightfully belongs to us.

Mm-hmm, hear hear.

Are you pledged to protect us to the end?

Hear hear!

Then with or without
the gold to buy soldiers

to defeat his armies,

I rely upon you as my own two hands.

My crown rests easily in the
knowledge that such as you,

and faithful Sir Guy,

will achieve our victory.

You will never live to see that out!

Stay your arms, gentlemen.

Let him speak.

My nobles, I give you Sir
Robin of Sherwood Forest.

My lords.

And gentlemen.

Since one does not
necessarily mean the other.

You noblemen blindly pledge your alliance

to our Prince Johnny?

By what reason?

By reason of divine power.

By reason of treachery!

You traitor.

You dare defy me?

Here stands the traitor!

Everything that makes
for a troubled England

is at your table!

All the hate and hunger, and
the misery and unhappiness!

I should have your life for this.

But not before Richard has you.

Richard will never see
the soil of England again!

Richard the king has landed at Dover.

Richard the king will
reclaim his rightful throne!

You are dead!

There'll be no rescue for you, my pet.

None but the sharpness of my love.

Robin!

Stop!

If you value the life
of your precious Marian.

You're only hope is to give into us.

Then buy your life now.

You have the only thing
left to save your life.

How do I know you're telling the truth?

How do I know you won't kill me anyway?

You don't know,

but if you harm her,

you will feel such pain,

as you've never endured.

Look around you, my lady.

I will rack your body with
every imaginable pain,

every horror that is
contained in this chamber.

This noble lady is yours.

Do with her as you wish.

Robin Hood, you promised!

You promised me!

What good is an outlaw's promise?