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1
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:26,720
Oh, dear, that sounds quite worrisome,
Mother. Have you been to a doctor?
2
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is falling out in clumps.
3
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And wasn't there just the one clump left
anyway?
4
00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,640
Oh, I see.
5
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:39,900
Oh, I see.
6
00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,520
Yes, I see.
7
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Oh, my God, I just dropped an entire pot
of tea. It's everywhere. I'll call you
8
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,280
right back.
9
00:00:54,380 --> 00:00:58,680
I'm going to need at least 24 hours
notice to pack a small bag and check
10
00:00:58,680 --> 00:00:59,680
hotel.
11
00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:04,360
And how do you propose that I take a
shower? With as much clothing on as
12
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:05,360
possible.
13
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:11,620
No one should have to see you wet. It
was like a shaved squirrel with hips.
14
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:20,340
I want you to be brutally honest. I've
got this audition tomorrow.
15
00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,220
Do you think I can pass for 50?
16
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,840
I'm not even sure you can pass for
alive.
17
00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:32,580
That's violent.
18
00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:33,980
She was upset.
19
00:01:34,180 --> 00:01:37,880
She had something she needed to discuss
with us. Oh, dear.
20
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,680
Just don't let her sit down. I want her
in and out.
21
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:43,700
Hello, darling.
22
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,260
Do I look terrible?
23
00:01:45,760 --> 00:01:47,660
I've been crying for two days.
24
00:01:48,090 --> 00:01:51,250
That sounds like something you probably
don't want to talk about.
25
00:01:51,990 --> 00:01:55,950
It's an incredibly long and complicated
story, I'm afraid.
26
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:57,710
Hello, Freddy.
27
00:01:57,890 --> 00:02:00,350
Hello, Vi. You do look awful.
28
00:02:01,290 --> 00:02:04,690
I'm going to need at least three cups of
tea to get through this.
29
00:02:04,970 --> 00:02:07,170
Oh, look, and you're sitting down.
30
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:09,490
Nicely done.
31
00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:10,550
She's too quick.
32
00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:15,930
Well, he broke up with me. Who did,
dear?
33
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:19,210
Christoph, we didn't even know you were
seeing anybody.
34
00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:22,150
That's because Christoph swore me to
secrecy.
35
00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:29,010
He lives abroad and would fly me to
Hungary once a month to do unspeakable
36
00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,010
things.
37
00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:34,910
Well, he is Hungarian, dear. It's
probably very speakable over there.
38
00:02:35,630 --> 00:02:38,290
We were even talking about having a
child.
39
00:02:41,210 --> 00:02:45,430
They can do incredible things nowadays
in the world of science.
40
00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,550
also want to consider the supernatural.
41
00:02:49,010 --> 00:02:53,630
I don't even think God could impregnate
you at this point.
42
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:59,330
We were getting very serious and then I
got an email from him this morning
43
00:02:59,330 --> 00:03:03,750
saying he never wants to see me again.
Oh, poor thing. You probably want to be
44
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:06,910
alone. No, that's just it. I don't want
to be alone.
45
00:03:07,250 --> 00:03:08,590
I want a companion.
46
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:11,270
I want what you both have.
47
00:03:11,750 --> 00:03:13,350
Well, not that. That's horrific.
48
00:03:16,100 --> 00:03:17,800
Something, something meaningful.
49
00:03:18,260 --> 00:03:22,460
Then might I suggest the next time an
Eastern European asks you to perform
50
00:03:22,460 --> 00:03:26,040
depraved sex acts, you politely decline.
51
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,740
That's good advice for anybody, really.
52
00:03:32,060 --> 00:03:33,060
Oh, Ash!
53
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:37,080
Hi. Is this a bad sign? Of course not.
Come in. Hello, Ash.
54
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:41,920
You remember our friend, Violet? Oh,
please. We've met so many times, I
55
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,080
feel like we're an item.
56
00:03:45,670 --> 00:03:47,230
People will start talking.
57
00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:50,570
Yes, about how ill the thought makes
them feel.
58
00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:53,450
Ash, please, sit down.
59
00:03:53,670 --> 00:03:54,670
Thanks.
60
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:58,790
You're sitting very far away from me,
Ash.
61
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:00,830
I know.
62
00:04:02,550 --> 00:04:04,710
Would you like us to ask her to leave?
63
00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:06,990
No, I only feel bad that I'm
interrupting.
64
00:04:07,390 --> 00:04:09,510
Oh, no, we've finished, my dear.
65
00:04:09,890 --> 00:04:12,870
You're sad, lonely, and nobody's ever
going to love you.
66
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:19,269
So, in that case, I wanted to ask your
opinion on something.
67
00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:22,430
Well, we are very good listeners.
68
00:04:23,390 --> 00:04:24,390
OK.
69
00:04:25,370 --> 00:04:28,730
So, you know how I told you my father's
been in prison ten years for armed
70
00:04:28,730 --> 00:04:30,130
robbery? No.
71
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:36,370
I don't believe you did ever tell us
that very, very disturbing bit of news.
72
00:04:36,750 --> 00:04:40,510
I thought I did. Well, the whole story
is...
73
00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:43,290
My father's been in prison ten years for
armed robbery.
74
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:45,830
Ah, now we're caught up.
75
00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:53,730
And anyway, you've both been like
grandfather... uncles to me, and I
76
00:04:53,730 --> 00:04:54,729
ask your advice.
77
00:04:54,730 --> 00:05:00,290
Oh, what a lovely thing to say. And are
these uncles of yours in prison as well?
78
00:05:01,270 --> 00:05:02,850
No, I don't have any uncles.
79
00:05:03,150 --> 00:05:04,690
This is all very confusing.
80
00:05:05,490 --> 00:05:09,950
See, I've been working at this
restaurant, and it's going OK, I
81
00:05:10,390 --> 00:05:11,850
I don't think it's what I really want to
do.
82
00:05:12,130 --> 00:05:14,310
Well, what are you interested in?
83
00:05:14,570 --> 00:05:17,090
Dunno. I don't really know how to do
much.
84
00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:19,850
Well, what about acting?
85
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:23,830
Yes. One doesn't have to know anything
to do that.
86
00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:26,970
Do you really think I could be an actor?
87
00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:29,910
Well, why not? You've certainly got the
right look.
88
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,030
And you have fantastic hair.
89
00:05:32,330 --> 00:05:34,370
A lot of acting is just good hair.
90
00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:36,910
Yes, that's true.
91
00:05:38,660 --> 00:05:41,980
I've always wondered what it'd be like
to be an actor. Yeah, sounds pretty.
92
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,920
Well, I think it sounds marvellous. Just
know you're going to have to take your
93
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:48,920
shirt off a lot.
94
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:52,320
People are always wanting young men to
take their shirts off.
95
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,200
It's appalling, I know, but that's the
world we live in.
96
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,100
You might as well take it off now.
97
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,640
Well, I'd be happy to advise you, Ash.
98
00:06:03,290 --> 00:06:09,230
I actually have an audition tomorrow,
and you can help me prepare, if you'd
99
00:06:09,230 --> 00:06:11,150
like. Great. What can I do?
100
00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:15,330
Well, to start with, you're going to
have to take 25 years off him.
101
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:18,130
Then teach him how to act.
102
00:06:22,890 --> 00:06:27,410
All right. My audition is for my
favourite television programme.
103
00:06:29,030 --> 00:06:30,050
Downton Abbey.
104
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:34,800
Yes,
105
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,600
I know it is. I don't need you to tell
me that. I'm feeling enough stress as it
106
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,680
is. Sorry.
107
00:06:40,140 --> 00:06:45,800
Now, the first thing you have to do when
preparing for an audition is to work
108
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,100
out what it is your character wants.
109
00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:49,660
How do you do that?
110
00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:55,080
By studying the script, looking for any
clues the writer might have given us. So
111
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:56,660
we'll start with my first line.
112
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:58,720
Which character are you auditioning for?
113
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,240
Cookstaff number four.
114
00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:06,780
But I'm calling him Thomas.
115
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,400
There's already a character called
Thomas on the show.
116
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:14,160
Yes, I know there is. I've watched the
show, for God's sake. But this way, I've
117
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,160
created conflict.
118
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,700
That's important.
119
00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:21,000
There it is. All necessary for the
making up of the backstory for your
120
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:26,200
character. I already know that these two
Thomases despise each other.
121
00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:28,940
And I haven't even read my first line.
122
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:31,600
So...
123
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,460
How do we find out what it is the
character wants? And you see, you've
124
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:40,680
got to want something. You can't just be
standing there, not wanting anything,
125
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:43,220
looking like some sort of idiot, can
you?
126
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:44,440
I suppose not.
127
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:48,340
All right, well, now, you give me my
cue.
128
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:53,220
Well, that means you read out the line
before my first line.
129
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,400
There are a lot of technical terms I'm
going to be throwing at you, and you've
130
00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:58,400
got to be ready.
131
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:00,040
OK, go on.
132
00:08:04,240 --> 00:08:05,240
Give me my cue.
133
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,920
Yes, what is it?
134
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:15,620
I just wanted to put these potatoes
away.
135
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:22,940
Is there anything more?
136
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:28,860
No, that's it.
137
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:36,039
out what it is that Thomas wants.
138
00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,159
Any ideas?
139
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,200
Uh, to put away the potatoes.
140
00:08:43,419 --> 00:08:45,160
And why would you say that?
141
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:50,520
Because his only line is, I just wanted
to put these potatoes away.
142
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,460
Yes, that's the obvious answer, I
suppose.
143
00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:58,400
But remember, when you have a very small
part, your job as an actor is to make
144
00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,400
it bigger.
145
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:05,240
And I think that Thomas really wants to
be head of the cook's staff and actually
146
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,740
doesn't want to put those potatoes
around.
147
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:12,540
And in that way, he can blame the other
Thomas for not putting them away.
148
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:17,200
Do you see?
149
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,810
Wow, I would never have thought of that.
Well, that's your job as an actor, to
150
00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:22,810
think these things.
151
00:09:23,410 --> 00:09:30,270
Right, well, if you just give me my cue
again and let me see if I have my line
152
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:31,450
memorised.
153
00:09:36,550 --> 00:09:37,830
Yes, what is it?
154
00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:39,550
Hello.
155
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:48,460
these potatoes to put them into that
cupboard right over there. Sir, if you
156
00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:51,620
would just excuse me, please. I need to
squeeze by.
157
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:57,040
The line is actually, I just wanted to
put these potatoes away.
158
00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:00,140
It's all right to paraphrase as long as
you get the essence of the line, and I
159
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:01,140
think I improved it.
160
00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:03,980
Thanks very much, Freddy.
161
00:10:04,260 --> 00:10:05,260
I'm learning tons.
162
00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,320
You're definitely going to get the part.
163
00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:10,500
Not if you keep applying this enormous
pressure on me, I'm not.
164
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:12,580
Sorry.
165
00:10:13,130 --> 00:10:15,790
And now I've completely forgotten what
it is I have to do with the bloody
166
00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:17,890
potatoes. Oh, for God's sake!
167
00:10:22,610 --> 00:10:24,630
Oh, I don't want you to see me like
this.
168
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,590
Just the tiniest bit, darling.
169
00:10:33,310 --> 00:10:34,310
A little more.
170
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:37,730
A little more.
171
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:47,740
prefer to drink it straight from the
bottle.
172
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,100
I'm a bit on edge, darling.
173
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,260
I heard from Christoph again.
174
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:57,840
He insists I fly to Budapest for the
weekend, and, well, I don't even want to
175
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:00,960
tell you what he wants me to do, unless
you really want to know.
176
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,060
I don't.
177
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,620
But he's so kind, and when he's not in
that mask, he has the sweetest face.
178
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,130
Do you want to hear what I think,
Violet? Of course. Of course, darling,
179
00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:17,250
my best friend in the world and I'm
yours.
180
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:19,650
Well... What?
181
00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:24,570
But we are best friends. We're close
friends, yes. I thought we were best
182
00:11:24,570 --> 00:11:25,570
friends. Yeah, we were.
183
00:11:26,570 --> 00:11:30,050
Until you did something 45 years ago
that upset me.
184
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,230
And you moved down the ranking.
185
00:11:33,670 --> 00:11:38,190
Oh, but I have no idea what it is I did.
Oh, I think you do.
186
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:42,030
So what's your advice, then? I think you
deserve better.
187
00:11:42,430 --> 00:11:48,160
Really? Yes, I find it mind -boggling
that you should continue to remain in
188
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:49,700
a hideous relationship.
189
00:11:51,180 --> 00:11:55,920
I was hoping there might be an ambulance
outside when I came home, and they
190
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:57,780
would have already loaded you in.
191
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:01,700
Did you step in dog shit, or is that
just you?
192
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,600
Well, I have wonderful news.
193
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:09,040
And since there's nobody good to share
it with, I might as well tell you two.
194
00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:11,660
I got the job.
195
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,620
Fantastic. What's the part?
196
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:17,280
I'm going to be playing Thomas on
Downton Abbey.
197
00:12:18,980 --> 00:12:22,080
I thought there already was a Thomas on
that show.
198
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:23,360
I'm the other Thomas.
199
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:29,740
Well, whatever you do, don't change the
lines this time. They don't like it. Oh,
200
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:34,400
shut up. You don't know the first thing
about acting. You can't even convince me
201
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,240
you're sitting on my sofa right now.
202
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:38,940
Well, congratulations, Freddie.
203
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,240
Thank you. Bye.
204
00:12:40,780 --> 00:12:44,760
If this goes well, someone even
mentioned the possibility of becoming a
205
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:45,760
on the series.
206
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:48,600
For someone, it's him.
207
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,820
Hello, Ash. I have good news. You know,
that audition you were helping me with,
208
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,280
well... I got a part in a film.
209
00:13:01,200 --> 00:13:01,700
I
210
00:13:01,700 --> 00:13:08,780
beg
211
00:13:08,780 --> 00:13:09,780
your pardon?
212
00:13:10,730 --> 00:13:13,810
It's only a small part in an independent
film, but it's a star, right?
213
00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,130
What?
214
00:13:18,870 --> 00:13:20,250
But what is he saying?
215
00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:24,010
He got a part in a film!
216
00:13:26,110 --> 00:13:29,890
We're all very happy for you, Ash,
aren't we, Freddie?
217
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:35,950
This is the best performance I've ever
seen in games.
218
00:13:41,550 --> 00:13:43,150
Are you still alive, sweetie?
219
00:13:44,450 --> 00:13:48,470
Oh, dear. Oh, come on. Wake up.
220
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:51,490
Your 20th birthday's coming.
221
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:59,950
And... There we go!
222
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:03,390
Oh, you gave me such a fright.
223
00:14:05,370 --> 00:14:10,250
Morning. It's getting harder and harder
to wake Balthazar up.
224
00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:13,760
Well, it's time to put him down. Should
I do you both together?
225
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,560
Whatever you like.
226
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,800
Oh, is that all you have to say?
227
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,360
Nothing else?
228
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,120
I can't think of anything.
229
00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:26,920
And isn't today the day you filmed
Downton Abbey? I think that's thrilling.
230
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:32,840
One lie and big deal. Yes, but you're
always so excited when you're working.
231
00:14:33,260 --> 00:14:35,560
I just don't seem to point, Stuart.
232
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:37,960
It's all these years, toiling away.
233
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,840
and then some young nobody whose father
is basically a murderer...
234
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:49,000
gets a pardon of Phil with his first
audition. Well,
235
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:50,480
beginner's luck.
236
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,420
And you said yourself this could turn
into a regular row.
237
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:59,380
Not likely, unless potatoes feature
prominently in an upcoming story line.
238
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:06,080
Would it help if you said something
awful about my face or my body?
239
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:08,690
Not really.
240
00:15:09,910 --> 00:15:12,990
Would you rub lotion on Balthazar's bald
spots?
241
00:15:16,030 --> 00:15:17,350
Don't leave me long.
242
00:15:19,750 --> 00:15:20,750
Oh,
243
00:15:21,230 --> 00:15:22,490
Father, thank God!
244
00:15:22,950 --> 00:15:24,550
Freddy's in a bad way.
245
00:15:24,950 --> 00:15:28,330
Oh, is that because of Ash getting the
shirtless part in that film?
246
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:32,850
Yes. He's very depressed. And why do you
have a suitcase?
247
00:15:33,290 --> 00:15:34,310
I'm taking your advice.
248
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,580
I'm going to Hungary to see Christoph.
249
00:15:38,380 --> 00:15:40,420
That wasn't my advice.
250
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:45,560
Oh, please, can't I go? No, for God's
sake, Violet, I need you here.
251
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,740
Freddy's an absolute mess.
252
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:50,840
I'm sure you're exaggerating. It can't
be that bad.
253
00:15:51,180 --> 00:15:52,560
Oh, hello, Violet.
254
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,160
You look lovely today.
255
00:16:01,220 --> 00:16:02,360
Stuart, my love.
256
00:16:03,850 --> 00:16:04,870
I'm going upstairs.
257
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:08,970
I'll miss you.
258
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,990
Holy shit.
259
00:16:13,510 --> 00:16:17,330
I told you, see, you can't go away now.
260
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:19,270
It's worse than I thought.
261
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:22,990
Ever since Ash got that part, Fred has
completely lost his confidence.
262
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,390
He's become attentive and kind and
loving.
263
00:16:27,210 --> 00:16:29,030
I can't live like this.
264
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,490
What are we going to do?
265
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:36,880
Well, we must convince Ash somehow to
turn down that film.
266
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:41,040
Jerry, will you give me a bath, please?
267
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:44,980
I swear if I go up there, I'll drown
her.
268
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,340
You've got to help me.
269
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,820
All right, fine.
270
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:55,380
Oh, thank you, Val. You're the best
friend I ever had. Oh, no. Now I'm your
271
00:16:55,380 --> 00:16:59,580
friend, I suppose I'm finally forgiven
for leaving you alone at that New Year's
272
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:03,640
Eve party 45 years ago. I knew you
remembered.
273
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,040
Damn it.
274
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,079
Ash is going to be here any moment.
275
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,740
You remember what to do?
276
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:16,060
Yes, though it seems rather far
-fetched. How's this going to get him to
277
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:16,799
the part?
278
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:19,780
Well, all we do is chip away at his self
-confidence.
279
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:21,760
Make him feel ugly.
280
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:23,599
And untalented.
281
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,520
Until he believes he's completely
worthless.
282
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,400
It's easy.
283
00:17:29,980 --> 00:17:32,020
I've been doing it to Freddy for years.
284
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:35,220
Oh, Ash, come in.
285
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,500
You remember our friend, Violet? Aye.
286
00:17:38,820 --> 00:17:39,820
Sit, sit, sit.
287
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,540
Now, is that always how you walk?
288
00:17:46,020 --> 00:17:47,020
What do you mean?
289
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,199
Oh, nothing.
290
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,200
It's just... I've never noticed it
before.
291
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:56,200
sort of, hello, I'm us. This is how I
walk.
292
00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,980
I'm sure we can fix it, darling.
293
00:18:00,420 --> 00:18:02,040
Maybe with leg braces.
294
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,140
Now, tell us all about this film.
295
00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:10,020
Well, it's about... And is your speech
impediment part of your character?
296
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,580
Or are you going to be speaking
properly?
297
00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,920
I didn't realise I had a speech
impediment. Well, you do.
298
00:18:16,820 --> 00:18:18,580
But let's change the subject.
299
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,800
Now... When did you get so chubby?
300
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:26,320
Oh, violent, please. He can't help that.
301
00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,320
Oh, he's a gigantic head.
302
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:31,920
Shall I have a drink?
303
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,500
Yes, of course, yes.
304
00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,540
This is a celebration.
305
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:40,260
Oh, is it all right to mix alcohol with
your antidepressant?
306
00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,730
Well, take antidepressants. That
explains a lot.
307
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:48,050
Well, this is very happy. Who are you
trying to convince?
308
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:50,190
Me or you?
309
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:52,890
Excuse me.
310
00:18:55,870 --> 00:18:57,150
Hello. Hi.
311
00:18:57,690 --> 00:19:00,390
You're going to hell. Yes, and you're
going with me.
312
00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:02,870
Really?
313
00:19:03,850 --> 00:19:04,850
Yes, I understand.
314
00:19:06,590 --> 00:19:07,590
Of course.
315
00:19:08,550 --> 00:19:10,110
Okay. Thanks.
316
00:19:10,670 --> 00:19:11,670
What's wrong?
317
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:13,390
I just got fired from the film.
318
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,550
What greatly upsetting news.
319
00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,530
What happened, darling?
320
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:21,630
They decided to go a different way with
the character.
321
00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:23,490
It's because I'm a monster, isn't it?
322
00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:27,370
Hello, everyone.
323
00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:31,630
Stuart Honeybum.
324
00:19:34,150 --> 00:19:37,330
Would you just hold my hand, please, and
walk me toward the kitchen?
325
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,530
Had some news, I'm afraid.
326
00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:44,350
Is he nominated for an Oscar?
327
00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:46,750
I got fires.
328
00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:48,670
Oh, no.
329
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:55,610
We're all devastated. There are so many
disappointments in this business, Ash. I
330
00:19:55,610 --> 00:20:00,230
have been a successful actor for
decades, and even I have the occasional
331
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:01,230
day.
332
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:03,830
I don't think I could ever be as
successful as you.
333
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:07,410
No, of course not. I just filmed Downton
Abbey, for Christ's sake.
334
00:20:11,530 --> 00:20:12,730
I don't think acting's for me.
335
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:13,970
I don't think it is either.
336
00:20:15,050 --> 00:20:16,930
Would you care to stay for dinner, Nash?
337
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,850
No, thanks. I feel kind of fat.
338
00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:22,970
Would you excuse me, please? I think I'm
going to go upstairs.
339
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,530
I'm actually a bit depressed.
340
00:20:33,610 --> 00:20:36,050
Did you ever notice how odd his walk is?
341
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:46,760
really get to meet Maggie Smith?
342
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:48,139
Oh, yes.
343
00:20:48,140 --> 00:20:52,680
She told me she liked my jumper. Oh,
really?
344
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,640
I know.
345
00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,320
Most actors only dream of having Maggie
Smith compliment their jumpers.
346
00:21:02,300 --> 00:21:04,120
Oh, here it comes.
347
00:21:04,460 --> 00:21:05,460
My scene.
348
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,000
Balthazar, Daddy's scene is next.
349
00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,400
Kick him as he's still alive.
350
00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:13,620
It's fine.
351
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:15,520
Here it comes.
352
00:21:24,420 --> 00:21:25,580
Well, what did you think?
353
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:28,820
That was it?
354
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:30,880
Yes.
355
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,180
Well, you were very good.
356
00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:35,540
Thank you.
357
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,760
Did you notice I dropped a potato?
358
00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:41,020
I did.
359
00:21:43,790 --> 00:21:45,750
I wasn't supposed to, but they kept it
in.
360
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:54,590
What is wrong with your stomach? It
sounds like an ocean liner sinking.
361
00:21:55,270 --> 00:21:58,270
Thank God your wheezing is drowning it
out.
362
00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:01,130
God, you were shit.
26580
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