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1
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At least he didn't suffer.
2
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Oh, he did.
3
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Oh, my.
4
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That much?
5
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Oh, well, I prefer to remember him as I
last saw him, being fed applesauce by a
6
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Jamaican woman.
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Wait a reminder, we should spend as much
time as possible with those we hold
8
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dear while we're able. Anyway, thank you
for calling, Mother.
9
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For a moment, I thought those high
-pitched piercing shrieks were coming
10
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gaggle of schoolgirls.
11
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But now I see it's just you.
12
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I shan't be able to return to sleep now,
thanks much less. Who do you think you
13
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are, the Earl of Grantham?
14
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You're from Wigan.
15
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It's better than being from Leidenstein.
How dare you!
16
00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:21,530
I've been to Oxford.
17
00:01:21,770 --> 00:01:22,770
Yes, for lunch.
18
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:29,180
So who were you squawking at on the
phone just now? My mum. If you must
19
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:31,340
Was she calling to tell you when she'd
be dying?
20
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She was very distraught. Why, did you
finally tell her about us?
21
00:01:40,340 --> 00:01:42,480
I'm waiting for the right time.
22
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:47,040
It's been 48 years.
23
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And there has not been a right time.
24
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No, please, don't pressure me. I'm very
emotional already.
25
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,760
We've had some frightful news.
26
00:01:58,199 --> 00:01:59,720
Clive is dead.
27
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:03,460
Your mother is always the first to know
when someone dies.
28
00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,880
Is she getting the news directly from
Satan?
29
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:11,880
I would think you'd be a little more
upset, considering your history.
30
00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:14,780
Oh, it was a long time ago. We were all
in our early twenties.
31
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What? I was 19. I wasn't in my twenties.
32
00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,600
People used to think I was your nephew.
33
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,920
Yes, because you told them you were my
nephew.
34
00:02:23,300 --> 00:02:27,280
Anyway, I don't feel bad about Clive. I
just hope he didn't suffer.
35
00:02:27,860 --> 00:02:31,400
Apparently they had to cut a foot off,
so I assume there was some discomfort.
36
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,480
I dare say those thick ankles of his put
up quite a fight.
37
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,820
Who on earth is that?
38
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:46,200
I've absolutely no idea. Are you
expecting anybody? No, these aren't
39
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,289
are we?
40
00:02:47,290 --> 00:02:48,410
Oh, this is outrageous.
41
00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:53,490
You just don't go about ringing people's
doorbells. Just to see who it is, and
42
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:57,090
then put the whole ugly business behind
it. Well, I'm going to give this
43
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:59,250
intruder a real dressing down.
44
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:02,230
Oh. Oh.
45
00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:03,910
Hello.
46
00:03:04,250 --> 00:03:06,110
Can we help you with something?
47
00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:09,370
Hush. I didn't even know that was a
name.
48
00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:12,210
I was here to see about the flat.
49
00:03:12,430 --> 00:03:16,890
Is it a bad time? No, no. No, no, no,
no, no, no, not at all.
50
00:03:17,670 --> 00:03:19,090
Great. Yes, great.
51
00:03:21,130 --> 00:03:22,390
Can I get you some tea?
52
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:24,690
No, thanks. I just really like to see
the flat.
53
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:29,130
Oh, you've come to the wrong door, I'm
afraid. The flat, for rent, is one floor
54
00:03:29,130 --> 00:03:30,710
up. Oh, sorry.
55
00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:31,990
Don't be sorry.
56
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:33,390
I'm Freddy.
57
00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,030
This is Stuart, my friend.
58
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,510
Freddy Thornhill.
59
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:42,620
You probably recognise me from the
television or stage. Do you go to the
60
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:43,620
often, Ash?
61
00:03:44,700 --> 00:03:46,000
Am I saying that correctly?
62
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:50,720
Yeah. Ash, I don't get to the theatre
much.
63
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,280
Well, of course, you're a young man. You
do young man things.
64
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,120
I'm quite certain I'm old enough to be
your father. Yes, I'm quite certain.
65
00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:00,220
My father's 46.
66
00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,800
And so am I.
67
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,060
Do you mind if I use the toilet?
68
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:08,180
Mind? We'd be devastated if you didn't.
69
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,800
You are making such a fool of yourself.
70
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,279
But then you should leave.
71
00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:18,000
It's quite clear he hates you.
72
00:04:21,079 --> 00:04:23,600
You suppose he's family?
73
00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:24,960
Oh, God.
74
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,360
It's so tricky to tell now.
75
00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,860
I thought Graham Norton was straight.
76
00:04:33,900 --> 00:04:38,560
Well, my dear Stuart, I will work it
out. After all, I did spend a year
77
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:43,580
the detective in the mousetrap. Oh,
please! Our postman's been in the
78
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:48,860
This is complete lunacy!
79
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,260
Like Victoria Station there!
80
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:52,900
It's Violet, darling.
81
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:55,780
I came as soon as I heard.
82
00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:00,200
Oh, Clive. Yes, it's been a great shock,
as you can imagine.
83
00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,420
Absolutely devastating.
84
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,360
Now, I must ask you... Anything,
darling?
85
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,680
Is Leytonstone any better than Wigan?
86
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:09,480
A bit, darling.
87
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:10,760
Bollocks.
88
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:15,780
I was thinking, perhaps we should host a
small gathering.
89
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,700
Here, tomorrow.
90
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:20,780
No, just our little cell. Oh, that would
be lovely.
91
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:23,440
I can't believe he's gone.
92
00:05:24,300 --> 00:05:28,100
Dear sweet Clive, did you hear about the
foot?
93
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:29,440
Yes, unfortunate.
94
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,340
Oh, damn, I wanted to tell you.
95
00:05:34,180 --> 00:05:37,880
Poor Freddy, you were quite close back
in the day.
96
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:41,240
Well, Clive was very much smitten with
me, that is true.
97
00:05:42,540 --> 00:05:43,740
Oh, theft, really.
98
00:05:44,820 --> 00:05:49,140
I was young, handsome, famous. You were
barely one of those things.
99
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,640
I'm just going to use the loo before I
go out.
100
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,920
There has to be somebody who hasn't
heard about that foot.
101
00:05:56,860 --> 00:05:58,020
He's still in there.
102
00:05:58,220 --> 00:06:01,260
Who's still in there? The young man who
came to see about the flat upstairs.
103
00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:02,680
He's been in there ages.
104
00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:06,440
Go and see what's going on. No, no, I
don't want to disturb him. It's very
105
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,900
to disturb attractive people.
106
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,620
Well, we can't leave him in there all
day.
107
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:16,660
You let a complete stranger use your
loo. What if he comes out and rapes me?
108
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,660
Let's cross that bridge when we come to
it, shall we?
109
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,360
Well, we tried.
110
00:06:29,740 --> 00:06:32,260
So that's it, then? I don't see what
else we can do.
111
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,560
Well, try calling them again. No, you
try.
112
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:38,700
Oh, somebody do something. I'm so
frightened I'm going to be raped.
113
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,160
For God's sake, Violet, nobody wants to
rape you.
114
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,340
What an awful thing to say.
115
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:48,780
Thanks very much.
116
00:06:48,920 --> 00:06:49,639
Of course.
117
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,380
Everything all right?
118
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:56,540
Yeah, sorry, just had to make a call.
Ah, a call to your... mate.
119
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A close mate.
120
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:01,280
Oh, yes. I see.
121
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:04,680
And is this your special mate?
122
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:06,580
Uh, I don't know.
123
00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:09,680
I should probably go and see that flat
now.
124
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,240
Has anybody ever said you remind them of
Zac Efron?
125
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,180
That's a person, right?
126
00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:19,220
Or is it a place?
127
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:21,980
This is our friend Viola Dash.
128
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:25,920
Yes, she's our friend, and Stuart here
is my friend.
129
00:07:26,500 --> 00:07:27,700
Uh, okay.
130
00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:32,610
Haven't I seen you in my yoga class? I
go to yoga. I'm great fun.
131
00:07:34,630 --> 00:07:35,810
I don't think so.
132
00:07:36,150 --> 00:07:38,090
Well, I'm certain I know you.
133
00:07:38,430 --> 00:07:40,590
Have you ever been to Zac Efron?
134
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:44,290
I'm covered either way now.
135
00:07:45,450 --> 00:07:46,630
I should probably go.
136
00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:51,210
It was nice meeting you all. And good
luck with the flat, and I do hope that
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00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:52,209
become neighbours.
138
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:57,770
And you can bring round here anybody you
like, boys, girls, whichever you
139
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:58,770
prefer.
140
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:00,790
Thanks.
141
00:08:01,610 --> 00:08:03,410
Nicely done, Miss Marple.
142
00:08:06,230 --> 00:08:09,970
I only hope his flesh didn't rot off
where you touched him.
143
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:15,260
I'm surprised you could see it through
the milky film, The Kocher Cataracts.
144
00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,540
I'm going to make another pot of tea.
145
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:28,780
I never know when I'm going too far, but
I'm always so glad when I do.
146
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:37,140
Your mother looked well for someone who
doesn't have a heartbeat.
147
00:08:38,730 --> 00:08:40,630
She always rallies for a funeral.
148
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:47,530
Do you know, Freddy, as grotesque a
thought as it is, you might have been
149
00:08:47,530 --> 00:08:49,130
love of Clive's life.
150
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,950
I do believe I was.
151
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:55,730
It's sad that it should take the passing
of a dear friend to make me realise how
152
00:08:55,730 --> 00:08:56,730
special I am.
153
00:08:58,170 --> 00:08:59,850
Are you wearing mascara?
154
00:09:00,470 --> 00:09:01,470
No.
155
00:09:03,090 --> 00:09:07,880
Well, I must prepare for our guests. I
want everything to be perfect. I bought
156
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,720
two sandwiches that I can cut up into
sixteenths.
157
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:13,720
You're going to do it.
158
00:09:14,980 --> 00:09:16,400
Oh, that is it.
159
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:18,520
We are disconnecting this bell.
160
00:09:19,460 --> 00:09:20,460
Oh, hello.
161
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,240
It's Ash.
162
00:09:23,260 --> 00:09:25,500
You will tell me if I'm ever pronouncing
that wrong.
163
00:09:26,180 --> 00:09:27,600
Not bothering you?
164
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,680
Bothering us, we should give you a key.
165
00:09:32,140 --> 00:09:34,800
I was just stopping by to let you know
that I got the upstairs flat.
166
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,120
Oh, goody.
167
00:09:36,420 --> 00:09:37,900
In fact, I'm moving in today.
168
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:39,380
Oh, marvellous.
169
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,740
Stuart, my friend, will be so pleased.
170
00:09:42,140 --> 00:09:44,600
You remember him, shrunken old gnome?
171
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:48,640
Great. I was spending time with OAPs.
Oh.
172
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,820
No, I'm not one. He is not me.
173
00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:00,780
Sometimes I do pretend to be in order to
get concessions at the cinema, but they
174
00:10:00,780 --> 00:10:01,780
don't usually believe me.
175
00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:07,540
Will you excuse me just for a moment?
And do not look at my wards while I'm in
176
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,160
the other room. I'd be very embarrassed.
177
00:10:10,060 --> 00:10:11,060
They're over there.
178
00:10:34,310 --> 00:10:37,710
Thanks. So you never used a huge window?
179
00:10:37,930 --> 00:10:42,110
No. We also don't go around pulling
cords in other people's flats.
180
00:10:43,390 --> 00:10:44,390
Go on.
181
00:10:45,450 --> 00:10:46,770
We're done with you for now.
182
00:10:56,050 --> 00:10:59,370
Clive was smitten with me that entire
summer.
183
00:11:00,170 --> 00:11:03,170
We had magical weather. It only rained
60 days.
184
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:09,390
And I was on tour with, um, Shakespeare,
I believe.
185
00:11:09,590 --> 00:11:10,389
Yeah, that's right.
186
00:11:10,390 --> 00:11:12,070
The two of you were old school chums.
187
00:11:12,990 --> 00:11:16,530
You must forgive Stuart. He was never
loved as a child.
188
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:18,190
Or as an adult.
189
00:11:20,230 --> 00:11:22,110
Egg and cress sandwich, Mason?
190
00:11:22,350 --> 00:11:26,770
Is that what that is? I thought it was a
crumb surrounded by a toothpick.
191
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:30,680
like some of what you brought.
192
00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:33,060
I could always cut you a slice of
nothing.
193
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:39,420
Penelope?
194
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,340
Penelope? One more time, darling.
195
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:46,440
Penelope! Oh, I'm sorry. I was sleeping.
196
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,440
Sleeping? Your eyes were wide open.
197
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:52,360
Oh, that's troubling.
198
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,340
Oh, I'm going to miss Clive.
199
00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:59,590
I do believe you broke his heart,
Freddy.
200
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:00,810
Thank you.
201
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:06,550
Do you know, I still have some of the
old letters that Clive wrote to me. Oh,
202
00:12:06,550 --> 00:12:09,390
have some of my old letters. We're not
talking about your life now.
203
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:16,470
You see, I always thought Clive was so
dashing. Every young man wanted to be
204
00:12:16,470 --> 00:12:21,970
seen on the arm of Clive Sinclair, the
most eligible bachelor in London.
205
00:12:22,190 --> 00:12:23,790
I seem to remember a wife.
206
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:28,030
Wasn't there a wife at some point? Oh,
that was ages ago.
207
00:12:28,470 --> 00:12:30,450
And it was only for 19 years.
208
00:12:31,910 --> 00:12:34,810
No, Clive was a true man's man.
209
00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:39,530
Independent, free as a bird. Children,
weren't there children?
210
00:12:41,530 --> 00:12:42,590
Yes, sick.
211
00:12:44,190 --> 00:12:47,290
Are you through interrupting or shall I
hand you a microphone?
212
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,590
Oh, what's happening? What is that?
213
00:12:51,750 --> 00:12:54,080
That? Must be our new neighbour.
214
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,740
The boy from the toilet?
215
00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,560
The one who was flirting with me
shamelessly?
216
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,080
No, this is a person who exists.
217
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,400
Did you find out if he's... No, he's
being very cagey.
218
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,740
Hope you like cakes.
219
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,360
Oh, look, somebody brought something.
220
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,320
You must meet our friends. This is
Penelope and that is Mason.
221
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,340
And you remember our friend Violet?
222
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,180
From Zac Efron, remember?
223
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:26,760
You're all dressed in black.
224
00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:32,100
Is everything all right? Oh, didn't we
tell you? This is more of a tea slash
225
00:13:32,100 --> 00:13:34,360
wink. Oh, sorry.
226
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:35,960
Who died?
227
00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:37,500
A good friend of mine.
228
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:39,620
He was very dear to all of us.
229
00:13:39,900 --> 00:13:43,780
Well, can I get anybody another
sandwich? Yes, I'd like ten more,
230
00:13:43,980 --> 00:13:47,260
I'm hoping to smush them all together to
create a bite.
231
00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,980
Were you... Good friends.
232
00:13:51,300 --> 00:13:53,640
We were a long time ago.
233
00:13:54,660 --> 00:13:59,640
You know, why don't I read out one of
Clive's old letters? Wouldn't that be
234
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,040
lovely? Not unless you read it in
another room.
235
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:05,720
Gosh, would you prefer to sit on my lap?
236
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,220
I have very strong bones.
237
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:13,180
Ah, here's one that hasn't been opened.
238
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:18,780
My one and only.
239
00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:22,470
I can't imagine my life without you.
240
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,270
What a kind, generous man you are.
241
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:30,290
If I only knew you felt the same, I
would leave everything behind to start
242
00:14:30,290 --> 00:14:31,450
with you.
243
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:33,470
Just say yes.
244
00:14:35,230 --> 00:14:36,310
Always Clive.
245
00:14:37,270 --> 00:14:38,650
He really loved you.
246
00:14:38,870 --> 00:14:42,370
No, he didn't. What are you talking
about? And you've got lipstick all over
247
00:14:42,370 --> 00:14:45,610
teeth. Look at the envelope. It's
addressed to Stuart.
248
00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:46,870
Stuart?
249
00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:55,690
Oh, I dozed off again.
250
00:14:57,590 --> 00:14:58,890
What did I miss?
251
00:14:59,770 --> 00:15:05,130
This preposterous. Why would Clive have
been interested in Stuart? But he says
252
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:08,650
right here, because I was kind and
generous and handsome.
253
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:11,670
It says kind and generous. You added
handsome.
254
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:16,790
But I don't understand. I never even
received this letter. It must have got
255
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,690
mixed in with all my fan mail.
256
00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,410
You have one fan.
257
00:15:21,330 --> 00:15:23,090
Who writes a lot of letters.
258
00:15:25,130 --> 00:15:28,470
Well, it doesn't matter now. Anyway,
that was 50 years ago. Don't you
259
00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:32,230
understand? I could have had a
completely different life if I'd seen
260
00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:37,570
Not this hell I've been trapped in.
You've been in hell? I provided you with
261
00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:41,310
everything you could ever want since the
moment we met. You were pulling pints
262
00:15:41,310 --> 00:15:43,290
in a pub. I was the manager.
263
00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:45,750
And I was going to be a model.
264
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:48,130
You were never going to be a model.
265
00:15:48,450 --> 00:15:50,930
No, not with you sucking the life out of
me.
266
00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:55,300
You know, I aged five years just sharing
a taxi. to be with you that night.
267
00:15:56,280 --> 00:16:01,320
Is that why you look a thousand? You're
practically melting onto the rug.
268
00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:02,780
Should I go?
269
00:16:03,540 --> 00:16:05,480
Why? They're a bit ridiculous. Of course
not.
270
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:07,200
It's all right, darling.
271
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:08,480
Sit.
272
00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,740
Your hand is really high up on my thigh.
273
00:16:17,380 --> 00:16:18,380
Is it?
274
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:21,260
Well, I don't see what the problem is.
275
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,000
It's not as if pride was any great
prize.
276
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,420
He had children.
277
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:26,620
He was married.
278
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,560
And a heckin' wife, too.
279
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,080
Ash, why don't you pour yourself a cup
of tea instead of sitting there like a
280
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:38,800
statue? I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure
how to behave. Have you never been a
281
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:39,800
before?
282
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:42,380
You must engage in the conversation.
283
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,060
Maybe he's shy.
284
00:16:45,870 --> 00:16:47,210
Are you shy, darling?
285
00:16:48,110 --> 00:16:50,990
Is that it? Because you are behaving
oddly.
286
00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:54,570
It's empty.
287
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:57,110
Oh, there's a press pot in the kitchen.
I'll get it. I'll get it.
288
00:16:57,670 --> 00:17:01,530
Is it something we're doing?
289
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,950
No, it's definitely him.
290
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,990
They have no manners nowadays.
291
00:17:07,230 --> 00:17:08,230
Exactly.
292
00:17:08,589 --> 00:17:10,130
Interact. Ask questions.
293
00:17:10,670 --> 00:17:12,849
Well, Chinese people are very...
294
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,440
I don't mean to alarm you, but I think
there's something wrong with your dog.
295
00:17:21,599 --> 00:17:24,700
Balthazar! Why, what's he doing? He's
just lying there. I think he's
296
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,660
unconscious. Oh, no, he's only sleeping.
297
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,940
I stepped on him and he didn't move.
298
00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:33,420
He's 20, you see, and yet still younger
than the biscuit.
299
00:17:36,460 --> 00:17:40,480
I didn't think dogs lived that long. Oh,
he's more of a doorstopper at this
300
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:41,480
point.
301
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:50,580
How desired you'd be with Clive instead
of Freddy, or any of the others.
302
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,340
That's a lot of dogs.
303
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:59,640
We went through several of them very
quickly. This used to be a bus route.
304
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:06,100
You see, I just wish I could have had
the chance to have known what that life
305
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,100
could have been.
306
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:10,280
And do you really think you could have
had a better life without me?
307
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,380
Yes, I could have been happy and
successful.
308
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:16,770
instead of being stuck with you in this
penitential... And what about me? Do you
309
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:20,730
think I've been happy with you simpering
around this flat, pouring your
310
00:18:20,730 --> 00:18:22,490
blandness onto every surface?
311
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:27,090
I don't know what would be preferable at
this point, if you woke up dead or I
312
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,970
did. I know which I'd prefer.
313
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:33,930
Let me tell you what would have happened
to you, Stuart. You would have ended up
314
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:37,710
the same worthless prat you are today.
Your accent just came out!
315
00:18:38,030 --> 00:18:39,030
Eh?
316
00:18:39,470 --> 00:18:41,370
His accent just came out, you all!
317
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:46,260
No, it most certainly didn't. Well, at
least I'm not from Leighton, Stan.
318
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,260
Wiggin's worse.
319
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,379
I'm from Wiggin.
320
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:51,460
This isn't the time to contribute,
darling.
321
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:54,860
What exactly have you done with your
life?
322
00:18:55,120 --> 00:18:57,680
Big parts in rep and one episode of
Doctor Who.
323
00:18:58,140 --> 00:19:02,680
What an illustrious career to look back
on. Well, at least I've had a career and
324
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,880
I'm still at it. I'm still working.
You've had nothing. You've done nothing!
325
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:11,990
I think I... in the dark.
326
00:19:13,210 --> 00:19:14,210
Oh!
327
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:18,390
Is this over yet then, Freddy?
328
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:20,210
No, it is not.
329
00:19:20,510 --> 00:19:22,030
Clive would have loved this.
330
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:24,830
I think.
331
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,590
I'm not sure, really.
332
00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:28,790
What actually is this?
333
00:19:29,490 --> 00:19:32,730
I also killed a prostitute on Coronation
Street.
334
00:19:36,150 --> 00:19:37,270
Among others.
335
00:19:37,530 --> 00:19:38,910
Other prostitutes?
336
00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,960
The show's... You're becoming very
annoying.
337
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,660
Is he going to be all right? Stuart, of
course.
338
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,820
Well, you know what it can be like with
certain friends.
339
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:49,779
I guess.
340
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:53,300
Do you have a very close friend, Ash?
Not now, no.
341
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:58,860
Ah, I see. But in the past, you have
been in a relationship with another
342
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:03,580
I have, but I've never been in love. Ah,
you're young.
343
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,960
You'll meet that special someone.
344
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:09,340
I suppose I should really go.
345
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:12,050
Please tell Stuart I said thank you. Of
course.
346
00:20:12,650 --> 00:20:13,910
And I hope you've had fun.
347
00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:18,510
And maybe learned a little bit about
social graces as well.
348
00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:22,850
Has he been here this whole time?
349
00:20:24,170 --> 00:20:26,810
Oh, and by the way, I'm straight.
350
00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:33,990
Well, that came out of nowhere.
351
00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:42,550
You're up late.
352
00:20:47,070 --> 00:20:49,630
I was just going to pour myself a drink.
353
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,550
Care for one?
354
00:20:54,770 --> 00:20:57,050
Fine, don't answer. I preferred it.
355
00:20:57,270 --> 00:21:00,310
You behaved abominably today.
356
00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:01,550
To speak.
357
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:08,140
Don't let's do this now. I'm so tired.
358
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,080
Entertaining is exhausting.
359
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:14,240
Oh, I suppose I'm not tired because I do
nothing. I did nothing.
360
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:19,700
I am nothing. You're still going on
about that. Will you just forget about
361
00:21:19,740 --> 00:21:21,760
please? I can never forget it.
362
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:25,960
You said some very hurtful things which
you can never take back.
363
00:21:26,900 --> 00:21:29,620
I don't see how we can ever get over
this.
364
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:31,440
Stuart, I'm sorry.
365
00:21:31,660 --> 00:21:32,680
Oh, that's all right.
366
00:21:39,820 --> 00:21:42,540
What on earth is that someone calling?
367
00:21:42,860 --> 00:21:44,020
This lunacy.
368
00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:46,980
Hello. Oh, hello, Mother.
369
00:21:48,580 --> 00:21:50,720
Yes, I'm still awake.
370
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,540
I'm here with my flatmate.
371
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,900
Christ's sake, Stuart.
372
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:58,020
He says, hello, Mrs Bixby.
373
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,460
Oh, my God.
374
00:22:08,830 --> 00:22:09,830
Oliver.
375
00:22:11,490 --> 00:22:12,790
Another one.
27636
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