All language subtitles for Vicious (2013) - S02E04 - Stag Do (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Ghost)

Is it so?

Don't wanna let you go.

No, I never can say goodbye.

No,

no, no.

I never can say goodbye.

No, no, no. No, no, no. Who ever

thought you and I

were getting married?

Did you ever think? you'd live to see
the day.

I wasn't even sure I'd live to brush my
teeth this morning.

Did you brush them?

I'll get around to it.

I've still got so much planning to do.

Food, drinks, the ceremony.

Don't get carried away, Stuart.
Remember, we're only spending that money

incontinent pad commercial.

Don't you have that audition tomorrow?

For the big crying drama?

We can use that money, too.

Yes, but I haven't got the part yet.

But it is for six episodes.

I play the owner of a bookshop who's
attacked by teenagers with a crowbar.

I know that's something I'd like to see.

Thank you.

And I promise I won't get too carried
away. We'll keep it a simple celebration

with all the people we love.

Yes, spending time with the people we
love is the most important thing.

Oh, look, there's Violet.

Quick, hide.

I hope she didn't see us. I don't want
her to think we're terrible people.

I think she already knows that.

I'll invite her over for tea later.

We can have a proper chat.

Yes, or we can send her an email.

Oh.

Oh, hello, Violet.

We were just talking about you.

Oh, that's never good.

Hello, Vi.

I'd get up and give you a kiss, but
you're all the way over there.

It seems so odd, but I could have sworn
I saw you both on the street just now.

No, no, we've been in all morning, I'm
afraid.

But you're wearing your coat.

Are you calling us liars?

No, I'm sorry. How horrid of me.

To be accused of lying and in our own
home.

Don't push it, Freddie.

So... how the wedding plan's coming.

Tell me everything.

Do you remember your wedding?

Yes, of course.

Well, just think the opposite of that.

But my wedding was lovely. It was just
everything that followed that was so

unpleasant.

Wasn't my wedding lovely, Freddy? It was
shit.

But I looked fabulous, didn't I? Maybe
don't ask any more questions, don't you?

Bye.

Oh, hello, Ash. How are you feeling?

Not so great.

I guess it'll take a while to get over
being dumped by the love of my life.

Well, of course it will take a while,
Ash. I'll give you one more hour.

So here we are, Ash.

Both of us newly single.

What do you suppose Faith is trying to
tell us?

That you should close your legs.

I think we should both start dating
again, don't you?

I already met somebody online who I
think I can get really serious with.

Do you know anything about him?

I know he owns a computer.

At this point, that's enough.

I don't think I'll be ready to date
again for a long time.

Well, I have some news that might cheer
you up, Ash. How would you like to be my

best man?

I'd love to, Freddy.

Oh, would you? I couldn't tell because
you didn't say how honoured you were.

And that I could have picked anyone, but
I chose you.

I'm really honoured.

Well, then act like it.

I'm going to throw you a wicked stag do.
We can have it in my flat. It's a

little small. I hope that's OK.

Yes, anything's fine. Just make certain
it's one of the best nights of my life.

The stag do's for both of us, right,
Ash?

Oh, I just thought... You just thought
what?

That you were the woman.

And I suppose you have something to ask
me, Stuart.

Do you mean why do you smell of alcohol
at ten o 'clock in the morning?

Would I be your maid of honour?

Oh, I suppose so.

I'm really touched that you would ask
me, darling.

You actually ask you.

I believe it's matron of honour, dear,
or if there's anything older than

then it would be that.

Well, my, I shall need some help
planning this wedding.

Well, I heard my ex -girlfriend Chloe is
an event planner now. Maybe I can talk

to her and she'll give you a discount.
That would be wonderful.

So far, all the money we have to spend
is from Freddy's adult nappy commercial.

I wet myself at my grandson's birthday
party.

I went method on that one.

any other acting jobs coming in? Well,
if we're lucky, Freddy is going to get

attacked with a crowbar.

Fingers crossed.

Freddy!

Shouldn't you be leaving for your
audition?

We really need you to get that job.

Yes, all right, all right.

I was doing my vocal exercises and a
tooth came out.

I shoved a peppermint in there instead.
Can you tell?

Not at all.

It actually looks better.

You should do them all like that.

Hi. You remember Chloe?

Of course, yes. How are you, dear?

I'm on three types of medication since
the last time you saw me, so I'm really

fantastic. Good, because you were a real
arsehole.

So, congratulations.

I hear you're in the market for a
wedding planner.

What are you staring at?

Nothing. I just forgot how pretty you
are.

Oh.

And I forgot how handsome you are.

Knock it off. Sorry.

Now, we're looking to keep this very
simple.

Not that simple, Freddie.

It is our wedding, after all. Well, I
just don't want you dipping into our

savings. We don't have any savings.

Oh, Christ. We're really living right on
the edge, aren't we?

Please, sit.

Since Chloe's just starting out, she's
willing to do you a deal on her fee.

Well, what if instead I were to give you
access to some of my celebrity friends?

Helen, Benedict, Mags, Maggie Smith.

Judy Dench and I are very close. In
fact, I'm just off to an audition now.

Do you know the television programme
Broadchurch?

Yes.

Well, this is a complete rip -off of
that.

So it's bound to be just as successful.

Wow. If I could plan events for
celebrities, that would be amazing.

OK. Yes, I'll do it for free.

We might actually need a small fee from
you as well, dear.

From me?

Really? Really.

We're helping you to establish your
business.

Fair's fair.

I guess.

And remember, Ash, I don't want you to
go to a lot of trouble for my stag do.

Everything is fine. I was thinking punch
and mini sausage rolls.

Keep thinking.

I'm off. Don't wait up.

But it's only midday.

I'd still prefer if you weren't
conscious when I returned.

Alastair. Freddie.

Malcolm. Freddie. Colin.

Freddie. Rowan. Freddie.

Trevor. Freddie.

I thought you were dead.

I'm not.

Who's the other cheerful?

Benjamin.

He's dead.

I knew it was one of us.

Firstly, I want you to know how happy I
am that you're planning our wedding.

And how easy I'm going to be to work
with.

So, let's start with a hug.

Thank you, that... Such a relief.

I drew up some ideas.

Just tell me what you think and we'll
take it from there. That sounds

dear.

I hate everything.

Even the paper it's written on.

Oh, OK.

It would be perfect if we were planning
a crap wedding.

Can I have another glass of water? I
think I need to double up on my

Yes, that's a good idea.

You can take more than they tell you,
you know.

Have another one.

Can you maybe give me an idea of what
you do like?

Do you remember Princess Di's wedding?

I like that.

That's a bit tricky on this budget.

Fred has an audition that he's perfect
for. And once he gets the job, he'll

lots more money to spend on the wedding.

That would be really helpful, because
right now it's... a bit tight.

You might need more money from you,
then.

Hello, Stuart.

I just brought you a little something
for your wedding.

Thank you, Penelope. I'm just so happy
for you. Hello, sweetheart.

She's a little young, though, isn't she?

I'm not marrying her. I'm marrying
Freddie.

Oh, that's weird.

I don't think you'll want this. gift,
then it's a negligee. No, that's fine.

Just let me say again what an honour it
has been to perform for you gentlemen,

and that it would be a privilege to be
brutalised by teenagers on Murder Town.

And I tip my cap, and I take my leave.

Goodbye, and thank you.

And as I said before, I'd be happy to do
it again if you'd like to give me any

other direction.

Still no?

Wonderful. Well, then, I'm off. And, uh,
thank you.

And goodbye.

Trevor? Ready.

Rowan? Ready. Colin? Ready.

Malcolm? Ready.

What happened to Alistair?

Jesus.

How long was I in there?

How the preparation's coming for
Freddy's stag do.

Need any help?

That'd be great.

Oh, I was kind of banking on you saying
no.

Let's forget I asked.

You know, I was thinking of inviting
Leonard to the party.

Who's Leonard?

My online boyfriend.

It's getting quite serious.

He even confided in me that Leonard was
a fake name.

What's his real name?

I've no idea.

I didn't want to push.

You know, I was thinking of asking my ex
-girlfriend Chloe to come too.

Well, I guess we are both ready to be
dating again.

Yeah. I guess so.

Look, there's Stuart!

Stuart!

Stuart, darling!

Why, look!

Ash! I didn't even see you both!

What a happy surprise!

I must have started running errands for
the wedding.

I expect you must be pretty busy
yourself with your maid -of -honour

I've had no time, darling.

I've been swamped helping Ash with the
stag do.

Where's Chloe? I thought she was going
to be with you all day.

Oh, she had to go and see her doctor.

Apparently, she's developed a nervous
tick that she needs to have addressed.

Oh, look, there's Freddy.

I bet he's on the road.

Freddy. Freddy.

It's true.

Violet. Ash.

I didn't even see you all there. What a
happy surprise.

Oh, shut up.

I knew we did it to them. I didn't know
we did it to each other. That's what we

do.

There's Penelope.

Penelope! Penelope!

Bollocks.

Mini sausage roll.

Mini sausage roll.

Sorry, they're still kind of frozen.

Are you having a good time, Freddy?

Not yet, no.

I've added some fruit to the punch. I
think it makes it a bit more festive.

Corpses would make it more festive.

Yeah, by the way, Chloe, this is what
you should be doing, thinking of ways to

enhance all our wedding events.

Isn't that what we're paying you for?

I'm paying you?

I'm really pushed right up against you,
Ash.

I don't even know where to put my hands.

Not there.

Your flat is so charming, Ash.

we've never been up here before.

It's not too small.

No, I think it's the perfect amount of
space.

You've just trodden on my foot. Why are
you always on top of me? We're all

crammed in this tin like sardines.

Where the bloody hell am I supposed to
be? The ceiling?

Just so you know, if anyone exhales, I
go right out of the window.

I was wondering if there was any word on
the budget for the wedding. So far, we

can only afford a very limited guest
list.

How limited?

Just the two of you.

Well, Freddie's about to book a big job.
He had a brilliant audition, didn't

you, Freddie?

Oh, they're all brilliant. Anyway, I'm
sure I'll get it.

Unless they want to go with a bigger
name.

Which would be any other name.

Freddie.

I hope this isn't a bad time and there's
no rush at all, but I was wondering

when I might be getting some of those
celebrity contacts.

You're very aggressive and it's making
me uncomfortable.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
eat an hors d 'oeuvre off the bed to

this evening even more depressing.

You OK?

Yes, yes, fine. I'm not stressed at all.

What happened there?

That? I've been pulling my hair out in
clumps.

Is it really noticeable?

Maybe just that one bit where you can
see head.

You're going to do a great job. I'm
certain of it.

Thanks.

Oh, I forgot how good you felt.

Oh, I forgot how good you felt.

Knock it off. Sorry.

This is what I imagine it would look
like living inside a pair of underpants.

Well, Jeremy, I see.

Well, I'm disappointed too.

I don't understand.

I gave the writer such insightful notes.

Are you certain you told them, if
necessary, they could really hit me with

crowbar?

All right.

Thank you.

You've done such a lovely job on the
party, Ash.

Thanks, Stuart.

I hate all this. Remember?

I want you thinking summer meets evil in
war meets Paris in the 20s. Is that

clear? Um...

Oh, is it me? Am I not speaking English?

Sounds as if he's speaking bitch.

Yes, yes, it's clear.

I think I'll try the punch.

Needs a little something.

Getting closer.

Stuart!

Can I have a talk with you?

Oh, please tell me you want to leave.

No, it's not that, although I am having
a horrible time. What is it?

Well, I... You've got the job!

Yes, I've got the job. Oh, marvellous!

Oh, Chloe dear, our budget's gone up.

So, now we can talk about the fireworks
display and the Freddie and Stuart Ice

statue.

So, Ash, it seems like you and Chloe are
getting quite close this evening.

I think I really like a Violet.

Then do something about it.

Soon, before Stuart kills her.

You're right, I will.

And what about you, Violet? I thought,
um,

not Leonard was coming tonight.

He just texted me. He'll be here in a
minute.

Isn't it wonderful?

Isn't what wonderful?

He's got a mobile phone.

Between that and a computer, I think
I've really hit the jackpot this time.

Well, here's to us. Here's to us,
darling.

One more?

Sure. Actually, why don't we use these?

Everybody to know that Freddy has landed
a big role where he gets almost

battered to death by teenagers.

And I couldn't be prouder.

And now that we finally have the money
for a proper wedding, Chloe, I want you

to move forward on the 50 white dubs and
Shirley Bassey. Stop, stop. I didn't

get the role.

What? I didn't get the part.

Why would you lie to me?

Oh, I don't know.

because I knew how important it was to
you. Of course it's important.

We need the money. All right, calm down.

Don't you tell me to calm down. I'm not
the one who lied.

I only lied because you made it
impossible for me to tell the truth.

make this my fault. You two remind me so
much of these guys that live

downstairs.

Excuse me. Are you Violet? Yes.

I'm Andrew.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm waiting for Leonard.

And also Leonard.

Oh, how wonderful.

This is kind of an awkward moment.

I'll fill you in as we go along.

Since when have I made it so impossible
for you to tell the truth? Since you

started getting so carried away with the
wedding. I mean, how much are we

paying, Chloe?

Nothing. I had to borrow money to take
this job and I still don't have any

celebrity contacts.

He doesn't know any celebrities.

Every single person he knows is in this
room.

How dare you.

I have an angry voicemail message from
Dame Judi Dench which makes to differ.

You sticky turd.

That's Freddy. He's a sweetie.

I'll introduce you later.

Perfect. Because you lied. Now we can't
have a proper wedding.

Well, maybe that's not the worst thing
in the world. You have to ruin

everything, Freddy. So, of course, you
ruin this. Better watch what you're

saying, Stuart, or there's no going
back. I think I know what I'm saying,

Freddy. This punch is really fucking
strong.

I don't know why we're racing into this
anyway.

How long have we even known each other?

How old is Moses?

I'm tired of this. I'm done with you.
You miserable old shit.

That Stuart is a real puppet.

I'll introduce you later.

Good, so no wedding. No wedding.

Oh, thank God.

We're through, Freddy.

We're through, and I say we're through.

And I say we're through.

There really was no good time for
introductions.

In my defence, that's the first party
I've ever hosted.

Who wants to dance with me?

I will!

Now

it's

actually fun.

Morning. Morning, darling.