Original subtitles

-The Times of India say he's unfit for office.

Express India said he's an immature marriage breaking

liar.

-I always used to look forward to these state visits.

They're planned so many months in advance,

it's virtually impossible to cock them up.

-Well, maybe he won't cock it up.

-Are you going soft on him?

-No.

-She is, she's going soft on him.

-Excuse me.

Can we just concentrate on the Indian state dinner, please?

-Yes, yes, you never know, it might go according to plan.

-Bastard!

-Vinny, cool it.

-I'm gonna kill him.

-All right, you two, less with the chitchat.

Back to work.

Come on.

-Yes, chef.

-Very good.

Very good.

What the bloody hell is this?

-Talk to me!

-ruined by a bunch of bloody lightweights.

-Aye, chef.

-Bloody hell, Vinny.

-You bastard.

-I'll go and get some help.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Your Majesty.

I've just been informed the Indian president

is coming up the Mel.

-You haven't spotted the obvious mistake, then.

-Sir?

-I am ready.

Both my sisters are ready.

My brother is ready, but my mother patently isn't.

-Has her majesty sent word?

-No word, nothing.

The Queen is obviously intent on embarrassing me.

Nice of her, don't you think?

-What have you done to upset her, Bro?

-Why is it my fault?

-Seriously, you don't know?

[PHONE RINGING]

-Sorry, sir.

OK, I don't care who it is, but someone right now

is going to go and sort my mother out, yes?

-I'll go, sir.

-I've got the state banquet in two days time,

and I'm this close to walking out.

I'm telling ya, I'm used to working with professionals.

Half the staff here came straight of the bloody ark.

A little service, please, Dopey?

-We want to do everything we can to facilitate

your work, Mr. Bishop.

-Yeah, well you could have fooled me.

-The smooth running of this state visit

is of paramount importance to us.

So do you want to press charges against Mr. Ganatra?

-I just want him sacked, all right?

And if anyone else steps out of line,

they can go the same bloody way.

-Consider it done.

-Jeremy, is this my toast and marmalade?

-The King has appointed a new chef.

He's an ardent fan of drizzle, apparently.

Out with the old, in with the new.

-So he didn't have the decency to come himself?

-Your majesty, the King is with the Indian party at the moment.

I know he was very much counting on your support, ma'am.

-Thank you, Jeremy.

I'm being banished to the royal lodge.

Did you know?

-Banished is a very strong word, now.

-Tell him I thought-- Tell him I'm very sorry.

He must do the state visit alone.

-So is the queen making a point?

So it would seem.

We simply have to capitalize on it.

Hand it over.

What?

Don't be coy, Simon.

All right, all right.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh dear.

I didn't know they made diamonds that small.

Oh, it's for her, isn't it?

It's your little girlfriend.

-Sweet.

-Thank you.

-Diamonds are forever, Simon.

-Well, so they say, ma'am.

-Simon, my mother has a soft spot for diamonds.

Star of Gujarat isn't it beautiful?

-Yes, I know what it is, Eleanor.

I wore it at your father's coronation.

Why did you bring this to me?

-I had an appointment with the crown jeweler.

I had to get my tiara and stuff sorted out for the banquet.

He'd just finished restoring it.

I thought it might remind you of Daddy.

-I need reminding of him, do I?

-Not at all.

I'm sorry.

I thought it might lift your spirits up a bit.

Personally, I just think Richard's

wrong to send you to Windsor.

This is your home.

The King needs to start realizing

that his actions have consequences.

That he's hurting--

-Thank you, darling.

I don't suppose the Indians would be very happy

if I wore this to the state visit.

-No, ma'am.

-It's rumored to be sacred, you know.

-It would be terribly politically

incorrect of you, ma'am.

[PARTY CHATTER]

-I think we have a problem.

-Her royal highness, Queen Charlotte.

-Whatever you said to her, it did the trick.

Thank you.

-Darling.

-Mother.

-Will you wipe that smile off your face?

There's about to be one major row.

The diamond the Queen is wearing.

The Indians say it's a divine relic that belongs

to Mother India, not Mother Charlotte.

The King's got absolutely no idea.

Like a lamb to the slaughter.

-Yes, of course, how delightful.

Queen Charlotte.

[KNOCKING]

-Yes?

-Sorry, Ian.

This speech just came through from the foreign office.

It's marked urgent.

-Thank you.

It's the draft speech for the banquet tomorrow night.

-In which the young King apologizes for the sins

of the imperial past, and returns the said diamond?

-Yes, more or less.

-That was fast.

They must be worried.

-Proofread it, will you Abby?

And then go through it with his majesty.

-It's a shame for the Queen though, isn't it?

I mean, if I had a diamond like that,

I'd definitely want to keep it.

-You're quite right, Lucy.

Let's let her keep it.

Let's ignore the fact that Britannia no longer rules

the waves, that we depend on Indian money

to keep the economy afloat, that a car plant in the West

Midlands will close next month without Indian investment,

1,000 people will lose their jobs, so what?

-Ian.

-Let's keep the diamond, have a nice sit down dinner,

and forget what this state visit is really about.

-Some of us haven't even been invited to the dinner.

-Yes, thank you, Lucy.

-Ma'am?

Should I call your Doctor?

-There's nothing wrong with her.

-Richard.

-Your majesty.

I'm very sorry, the Queen is not to be disturbed today.

-Well, I'm very sorry Jeremy, the Queen is

going to be very disturbed today.

Go on, out.

Mummy doesn't want to go to Windsor,

so she thought she'd completely undermine me, make

me look a fool on the world stage.

Bravo.

Done a good job.

-I'm sorry what I did was very wrong.

I had no idea it would cause such a row.

It was cruel of me.

Unforgivable.

-Look they, they want the diamond back, mother.

And I'm going to give it back.

-I was 25 when your father was crowned King.

But I knew nothing of the world.

I was a baby, really.

That dress was so heavy, I remember.

I could barely-- I felt so frightened.

I was shaking.

I felt so utterly lonely.

And then your father came in, gave me the necklace.

He told me the legend.

That the diamond has power, but must only be worn by a woman.

And as soon as she wears it, that woman becomes a Queen.

He put it around my neck.

And in that moment I felt so loved.

I felt like a Queen.

I don't know who I am anymore, or what

my role is since your father died.

-You've got to stick up for yourself, Vinny.

It's not too late.

-I'm just a footman.

His word against mine.

-Well, you can't just go.

What about me and Ruby?

What are we going to do without ya?

Why did you do it?

You tell him what you told me.

The chef racially abused him.

-Is this true, Vinny?

-Yes, He's a nasty piece of work.

He's only worked here a month and nobody likes him.

-This is a very serious allegation.

-He can't be sacked now, can he?

-You can remain at the palace, but you'll

be suspended from duty.

But he's innocent.

-He may be innocent, but he's not

one we're relying on to cook for 180 guests, is he?

-That is absolute crap.

-We're obliged to this allegation seriously,

Mr. Bishop.

-You know, I've got to hand it to him.

As good as that, isn't it?

Calling me a racist in the middle

of an Indian state visit.

He spotted an opportunity there.

-So you deny it?

-Look, darling.

I'm experienced in the media.

I'm not stupid enough to be racist.

-Vinny wouldn't lie.

-Oh, look at Tonto.

Follow a good [INAUDIBLE] to your mate.

That's it, off your trot, Dame Shirley.

-So you have absolutely no idea why he hit you?

-Very good, very good.

Why don't we ask the lady?

Ruby.

Was I ever racist to your boyfriend?

You see?

She should know.

-They have asked me to remind you that the president's wife

is allergic to wheat, gluten, and dairy.

It's a shame for you, that.

-Get kicked out of charm school, did you Ruby?

-Not before they told me how to avoid tossers like you, Milton.

-Well, it's a bit late for that, isn't it?

Now, is that it?

Can I get back to feeding the 5,000?

-Mr. Bishop?

I'm afraid her Majesty likes her egg boiled for 3.5 minutes

precisely.

No more and no less.

-Give it here.

Unbelievable.

Come on.

-Miss Thomas, her Majesty the Queen wishes to see you.

-I want to help my son, Abigail.

It may not seem like it, but I do.

-Yes, ma'am.

-Which is why I'm going to write a fairy story for Richard

with a very happy ending.

-I'm not sure I exactly understand.

-I know of a suitable girl for him,

I just need you to put it into action for me.

No one need know this came from me, least of all Richard.

-You want me to match make?

With all due respect, ma'am, I don't feel comfortable--

-You don't have to be comfortable with it.

-Right, so on the one hand, the Indians really want it back.

-Oh, yeah.

I hear there are all night prayer vigils

going on in temples in the Gujarat.

-So no real pressure then.

-On the other hand, there's our mother.

She does love that diamond.

-Yeah, she likes to wear it a couple of times a year

to a dinner dance type scenario.

-Yeah, because she's got that turkey wobble

thing going on with her neck.

-Yeah, she does.

-Personally, bro, I think you've got no choice.

Straight back to the tower with the Don

and tell those pesky Indians to rot off.

-Have you all finished?

-But there is a serious issue here, Rich.

I mean, what possessed her?

-It's happening.

We all knew it would.

The madness of Queen Charlotte.

-OK, that's enough.

-We need to get her to Windsor, pronto.

-More like sheltered accommodation, I think.

-Yeah, somewhere secure with a warden and a panic box.

-I said, that's enough.

-We're only teasing.

Come on.

You know whatever you decide will be [INAUDIBLE], don't you?

George, come on.

-Eleanor, get off.

-Yes, I was going to call you.

I have written some of it.

I don't know, 10,000 words.

The thing is, Ann.

-Abigail, I need to talk to you.

-I have to go now.

Your majesty.

-Can I have a word in your office?

-Yes, sir.

-Have you read this?

-The speech for tomorrow, yeah.

-What do you think of it?

-Well, I think it's a bit stiff.

-Yeah, stiff.

I think only my dead father could do it justice.

-Sir, if you're unhappy with the speech--

-Abigail, the diamond belongs to crown, yeah?

So it's my decision whether to keep it or not.

-Well, strictly speaking, yes Sir.

But I don't think it would play very well.

There's a lot at stake, politically.

-I know what's at stake.

-Is it Queen Charlotte that you're concerned about, Sir?

-All I know is my father gave her the diamond,

and whether it was his to give or not, it was given with some,

I don't know, rough approximation of love.

And it means an awful lot to her.

-I'm sorry, sir, I really think you have to follow your head

and not your heart on this one.

But look, why don't I take a look at the speech

and try and loosen it up?

Make it a bit more personal.

-Yeah, all right.

Fine.

-Oh, just one last thing, Sir.

I do need to speak to you about changing your engagements.

-Who am I shaking hands with this time?

-You have a new 5 o'clock with a, oh,

the honorable Miss Alice Templeton.

She's here to promote a new Indian charity.

-Fatty Templeton?

-I hope that's said with some affection, sir?

-Fatty, she's an old mate.

She's a right laugh.

Brilliant.

That's cheered me up to no end.

-Miss Templeton.

-Hi.

Abigail, is it?

So sorry I'm a bit late.

I've come straight from work.

God, I must look a sight.

-You don't.

-I hate having my photo taken at the best of times.

Is there somewhere I can change?

-Of course.

-Thanks.

[SNIFFLING]

-The room is ready for Miss Templeton?

-Yeah, sorry.

-Alastair, would you please show Miss Templeton to her suite?

Be with you in a minute.

Ruby.

You and Vinny--

-Are finished.

We're finished.

-That's what I thought.

-I just want to say how sorry I am about all

that silly fuss over the diamond.

-It's fine.

Richard and I have come to an agreement over it.

-He's going to keep it for you?

-Smile for the camera, darling.

-Hi, I'm Alice.

Nice to meet you.

-Oh, Alice Templeton.

Good, good, good, good, good.

-Fatty?

God.

She's gone all low carb all of a sudden.

-You are so posing.

-What?

-You've got an, I am the King, look on your face.

-Excuse me, Mum.

I'm just going to go be sick.

[WHISPERED CONVERSATION]

-Has she brought us on official engagement today, is she?

-Oh, no.

it was a last minute request of the um,

of her charity, Cradle India.

I ran it by the King.

I hope that's all right.

-Genius.

-What?

-Well, look at them.

They're made for each other.

-Jumping the gun, aren't you?

-Nothing like a potential Queen to make them all love again.

-So, Vinny.

Shall we talk about why you really hit the chef?

-That was so delicious.

The last time I ate here it was like school dinners.

-I appointed a new chef.

Nicked him from The Ivy.

-Nice one.

Don't let him go.

I'm sorry about your dad.

-He always had a soft spot for you.

-I was in India for the funeral.

-Yeah, I hear you've developed a social conscience

since I last saw you.

-I've always had a social conscience,

I've just never had the chance to exercise it.

-So you had a good time in India?

-Brilliant.

-Well, they obviously starved you.

-I ate very well there, thank you.

-No, you look fantastic.

-Thanks.

I've just been very busy.

I've been helping to set up for this new charity.

We're opening orphanages for unwanted baby girls.

It's so rewarding, but also well, you can imagine.

Anyway, I'm back here trying to raise the funds

for a new orphanage in Madras.

-Good for you, Ali.

I mean it.

-You know, Rich it's none of my business.

-What?

-The diamond.

You know it has huge religious and cultural significance

in India. -Yeah.

Funny enough, I do.

-Well, make sure you do the right thing.

-I'm trying.

-Good.

Pudding?

Yummy.

-You lied to me, Vin.

-What did you want me to say?

I hit the chef because my girlfriend cheated on me

and I feel like an absolute plunker?

-Yes.

-So will I be sacked now?

-Well, you made a false allegation.

Doesn't look good, Vinny.

-You know my biggest mistake?

Falling in love with someone who works here.

-What's this?

-It's just a little something.

And you can keep this one.

The Indians aren't interested.

-Is this a joke?

-Um, let me think about that one.

No.

I thought you could wear it tonight.

-Are you getting serious with me?

-It's a big night for all of us tonight,

and I want you on your toes.

I don't got any time for pussy footing around.

-Speaking of which, you're late.

-I was busy.

-Get out of my way, you fat bloody donut.

I'm the one who's busy.

-That man is rude and a bully and a bigot.

-But not a racist.

Milton Bishop is in the clear, and our Vinny

will be gone by the morning.

He's won, hasn't he?

-Not yet, he hasn't.

We must convince him that we do things in a certain way here.

And we can begin tonight.

-At the banquet?

-Out with the new, and in with the old, I say.

-Yes, my friend.

Oh really?

Rock and Roll.

You have just made my day.

-I have to look my best.

I have to shine tonight.

No, off.

Thank you, Natalie.

It's my mother.

She's definitely up to something.

-Well, I have some news that will really cheer you up.

Someone's writing a book criticising the King.

Saying he's unfit to rule.

Someone in the palace.

-Where did that come from?

-Well, I have my contacts who have their contacts.

-Do we have any idea who it is?

-Not yet.

-It'll be some minion.

It'll be some backstairs page or some dowdy lady clod with think

ankles who was in love with my father.

-Well, whoever it is, I'll have fun tracking them down.

-Let's keep this our secret, yeah?

-Yes, of course.

-I tried to keep it as brief as I could.

-No.

-What is it that you want to say?

-Maybe I should just wing it.

-No, I'm' afraid a King is not allowed to just wing it.

-Well, that seems awfully unfair.

-Now, maybe we can start the first bit.

-You look very fetching tonight, Abigail.

-You're changing the subject.

-No, you do.

-Are you saying that I look bad the rest of the time?

-Shockingly.

-We need to work.

You have to speak in less than one hour.

-Let's go out to dinner.

-Sir.

Milton Bishop has been slaving over a hot stove for you--

-I'll pay--

-And there are 200 people waiting

to hang on your every word.

-Well, what if I don't want to speak to them?

-Well, then they'd be very disappointed, Sir.

-Come on, look, I'll take you out dancing.

I'm a very good dancer-- -You're a terrible dancer.

-I'm a really good dancer.

I'll have you know--

-Your Majesty, her Majesty Queen Charlotte.

-Richard.

-Good evening, mother.

-Majesty.

-Abigail.

-We were just we were just finalizing

what I should say tonight.

-I'll wait outside, sir.

-No, no please don't.

I shan't disturb your work.

I just wanted to wish you luck.

-Oh.

-And you'll need this.

-Mummy, thank you.

-I know what you should say.

-Yeah?

-You should honor your mother.

Pay tribute to her.

-What, and then give the diamond back?

-I think you need to do what you feel is right, sir.

-Oh, my god.

Fatty is so not fat anymore.

-Alice?

-Oh hi.

Eleanor.

How nice to see you again.

Izzy.

George.

-Hey, about the incident at the pony club,

I never really apologized.

-George, it's fine.

We were what, nine?

-So nice to see you again.

-Alice, how lovely that you could be here.

Richard needs all the support he can get right now.

Let me introduce you to some people.

-George, put your tongue in.

You'll never get her.

-It's not fair.

Richard always gets first dibs on everything.

-I think you're going to storm it, Sir.

-Your majesty, Princess Eleanor is here to see you.

-Thanks Abigail, You're a star.

-Enjoy it, sir.

-Hey, I was just coming.

-Oh my god, Rich.

You will not believe what mum has been up to now.

We've just been laughing about it down there.

She's trying to marry you off.

To Fatty Templeton.

It's ridiculous, isn't it?

But she can't resist it, can she?

She's a control freak.

If I were you, I would put her firmly in her place tonight.

-Come on you bunch of pansies, I want every one

exactly the same.

-A masterpiece, Mr. Bishop.

Only one problem.

The plate.

You used the Rockingham service.

The King always insists on the gold service

at a state banquet.

Did the yeoman of the silver [INAUDIBLE]

did not tell you that?

[INAUDIBLE]

-You wore it.

-I did.

-It looks beautiful.

-Thank you.

-Oh, so here she is.

The famous Abby.

You've got my private secretary in quite a tizzy, haven't you?

-I'm sorry, your Highness?

-I think he thinks it's love.

Poor lamb.

Now I've told him I'm quite willing to tolerate it,

so long as he keeps his eye on the ball, so to speak.

Isn't that right, Simon?

-Is that some kind of threat?

-Oh, don't worry about it.

Listen, there's something you should know.

Someone in the palace is writing a book criticizing the king.

-What?

-Yeah.

-If you care to take your seats now, please?

-But don't worry, babe.

I'm on the hunt.

I'll find them.

-You think this is funny, do you,

this little initiation ceremony of yours?

-No chef.

Well, a bit, chef.

Time to go?

-No, I'll tell you what.

I think it's time for you to go, you Welsh puff.

-What did you call him?

-You heard me.

-Gentleman, down tools, please.

Service is over.

-In the past, the relationship between our two great nations

has being compared to that of a fond parent and child.

The mother nurturing her child towards independence,

and then watching with pleasure and pride

how she makes her way in the world.

Today, it is to Mother India that we look.

As she is for us the source of investment, of inspiration,

and of ideas.

-Mr. Bishop.

We work as a team here.

We cooperate.

We show each other respect.

-Well, you can go as well.

Go on, get your coat.

-I'm afraid you'll have to run that one past Mummy.

-You're what?

You're going to fire us all, are ya?

Why don't you start with Mark over there?

-He's worked here for 60 years, served

under three different monarchs.

-The King's favorite footman.

Go on, I dare you.

-You sign up for life here, Mr. Bishop.

-I was born to this role.

And unfortunately, that doesn't mean

it always comes naturally to me.

But luckily, I have her Majesty Queen Charlotte

to keep me on the straight and narrow.

She has always been, for me, the perfect role model.

At my father's coronation, she made her own vows

to this country, and she has stayed true to them ever since.

And like her, I will strive to do the right thing.

And I will try my best to make my mother proud of me.

[CLAPPING]

[MUFFLED YELLING]

-Backward, limp-wristed, good for nothing, no hope losers.

Where'd they find you?

You're a moron.

You're a puff.

Another puff.

Paddy.

Retard.

Puff.

-Mr. Bishop.

That's enough.

-Oh no, I wasn't-- I didn't--

-The King is speaking.

-In light of the good relations between us,

I would like to give-- Sorry.

Excuse me.

And in light of the good relations between us

I would like to make the gesture--

I would like to make the gesture of donating

to the charity Cradle India.

This charity plans to build orphanages

all over India for unwanted baby girls.

We have one of its patrons, the honorable Miss Alice

Templeton, here with us tonight.

And I would like to fully fund a new orphanage in Madras

and open it in my mother's name.

Well, the Indians aren't happy.

-Queen Charlotte is, on the other hand.

-You really should have taken me up on that offer, you know?

Dinner, dancing, champagne.

We'd have had a lot more fun.

-I had no idea champagne was on the menu.

-Oh, here we go.

Here come the heavies.

-Your majesty, I take it you are aware

of the serious consequences of not returning the diamond.

-Yes, I am.

-The factory will close, one thousand people

will lose their jobs.

-The broadsheets won't go for you on this one, Sir.

-The foreign office is furious.

-I'm well aware of the situation.

-I just wish you wouldn't keep going off message.

-And I wish you had more faith in me, Iain.

It would make both our jobs a great deal easier.

-Abigail, about the speech--

-The speech had nothing to do with Abigail.

It was all my inspiration.

-Your Majesty.

I would like to say how much I appreciated

what you did for me.

What you said publicly.

-Well, there was a reason why I couldn't

give the diamond back, mother.

-Oh?

-It wasn't mine to return.

-Go on, get on with some work.

-You're a sight for sore eyes.

-They're going to sack the chef.

-You're kidding me.

-No, Peter's already informed the palace steward.

-Our work here is done.

-Dr. Kapur, it has been my great honor

to have been able to wear the Star of Gujarat.

And it will now be my great honor

to return her to her homeland.

-Thank you, your majesty.

My country will be most grateful.

-Good riddance to bad rubbish, eh?

-I'll drink to that.

-Here.

-I'm sorry.

Vinny.

-No, no, no.

It doesn't matter now.

We're back together.

The magnificent three.

-I made a terrible mistake with that arsehole.

I was drunk.

And it was stupid and I-- I just want

us to be friends again, Vinny.

-I can't be friends, Ruby.

-What?

-I'm in love with you.

And you just don't feel the same way.

-I do.

Sometimes, I mean--

-It doesn't matter.

It's not your fault.

The thing is, I just can't put myself through it.

Seeing you every day.

-What are you doing?

-I'm leaving.

-Oh no, no, no, you can't do that.

-Sorry, mate.

-Bastard.

[THROAT CLEARING]

-Oh!

Your majesty.

-I was looking for Abigail.

-She's in her office.

-Princess Eleanor, Ma'am.

-Send her in, Jeremy.

-You asked to see me.

-I want you to leave Alice Templeton alone.

[LAUGHTER]

-Oh, come on.

-It's not funny.

-Fatty can look after herself.

-I know why you brought me that diamond in the first place.

Always a little scheme.

You could scheme before you could walk.

You wrapped your father around your little finger,

but you don't fool me.

I know exactly what you're after,

and you will never succeed.

-Have you quite finished?

-No, I haven't.

You were born first, Eleanor, but you are not a boy

and you will never ever reign.

Richard is King and he will have my support

as long as I'm living.

Know your place, my girl.

-I know my place.

I was born first, and I was a girl, and what

a crushing disappointment that was for everyone.

Especially you.

It's a pity there weren't those orphanages for girls then,

isn't it, Mother?

-Can I get you anything, Ma'am?

-I think I'll have a small gin.

It's been a long day.

-Yes ma'am.

-And Jeremy?

Start unpacking, would you?

We aren't going anywhere.

-Oh, very good Ma'am.

-I've already drank too much.

-Come on.

That's the point of state visits.

-Aren't you going to propose a toast?

-I think I've had enough of my speeches for one day,

Thank you.

-Yeah, good point.

So have I. I know!

Here's one.

How about, here's to following your heart?

-No, way too sentimental.

-Is it?

Yeah, you're right.

It's rubbish.

I'm sorry.

-Abby.

Abby.

[THEME MUSIC]