Original subtitles

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Perfect.

The King will be delighted.

-Right.

And next to the Minister of the Interior

and the Bishop of Durham.

Hm. Who have you got?

-I don't know.

Probably someone who doesn't speak any English and someone

stone deaf, so I don't cause any offense.

I'm nearly insulted.

-All right.

Rich?

-Well, how could I possibly think about tomorrow's banquet,

when we're about to go to the opera.

I'm just too excited.

-I just don't think I can do it.

-Hm?

-Seriously, I think my body might

actually be allergic to opera.

-Fine.

Tell Daddy that, dare you.

-Ma'am.

-Thank you.

-Wicked.

No way.

Shut up.

-Isabelle.

-Hold on, I just have to talk to my brothers, one sec.

Guys, I'm so sorry.

I'm not going to be able to make it tonight.

Exams, and like, I'm totally stressed out.

It's just-- look, enjoy.

Yeah? Wicked.

I would love to.

That sounds amazing.

-[GASP] -I hear he is pretty good.

-Daddy.

-Especially at the Wagner.

-Poppy.

-I've had the most delicious idea.

So I thought we should do a joint visit to the RMC.

-[CHUCKLES]

-It's one of my favorite charities.

-[SIGH]

-Your Majesty.

Ma'am.

I am sorry.

I was hoping to borrow the Prince of Wales.

-We're just off to enjoy four hours of Wagner, Abigail.

-Yes, ma'am.

And while I can appreciate the lure,

I have just received a call from Sister Assumpta

at the Innocence housing project.

-Oh, yes.

-We were trying to find a convenient time for the prince

to visit the homeless shelter without attracting any press

attention, and she felt that tonight

was the perfect opportunity.

-Sister Assumpta?

-Yes, ma'am.

She was really pinning her hopes on The Prince

of Wales' appearance.

-Uh, s--

-And Prince George as well, ma'am.

It is a very worthy charity, ma'am.

-Yeah.

-I'll break it to the king.

-Thank you, ma'am.

KING: Is there a problem?

-Well darling, it seems that--

[CAR DOOR SHUTTING]

[SNICKERING]

-Sister Assumpta.

Complete bloody genius.

-I knew she'd get us out of there.

You're a star.

-Yes, sir.

-Oh, don't give us the look.

It's opera.

It's a fat bird singing the same line over and over.

-I've arranged for a change of clothes to be in the car.

I assume you're going to the club afterwards.

-Yeah.

It's going to be massive.

What?

Hang on.

Does that mean actually have to go to the shelter?

-Yes, sir.

You have to be a prince for a whole half hour.

-Look, get in.

You're not cross with me, really.

-Not at all, sir.

Helping you shirk your responsibilities

is what I was born to do.

-[CHUCKLES]

-Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.

Sod this for a game of billiards.

Let's move on to--

-Yeah, yeah.

IN UNISON: Tequila!

[LAUGHTER]

-I'm going for a slam, you sort it out.

-So, who fancies a late night tour of the palace?

-Hello!

Hello!

No, no, sorry.

I can't-- I can't hear you.

All right.

Sorry about that, go on.

Yes, sir.

Yes.

Yes I understand.

-You OK, Peter?

-You need to come with me, sir.

-Why?

-I'll explain in the car.

-No, tell me.

Who was that?

-That was the Deputy Assistant Commissioner.

-To say what?

-It's Tower Bridge.

I'm very, very sorry.

Your Majesty.

-[SOBBING]

MAN 1: Get everyone out of here.

[CHATTER]

WOMAN 1: The king.

MAN 2: Time of death, 22:33.

-Hang on. George.

Where's George?

-You travel separately.

-Let's go.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Sir.

Sir.

Your majesty.

-Iain, is he--

-Yes.

I'm very sorry, Majesty.

The um, Prime Minister is on his way

to offer his support and pledge his fidelity.

Talked to the Controller and the Lord Chamberlain,

and arrangements for the funeral are underway.

We'll have your father's body brought here

tonight and then moved to St. James.

Books of condolence will be set up in the Mall, Kensington--

-Where's my mother?

-The queen's on her way.

All of your family should be here within the hour.

-Your Majesty--

-Yeah, uh, look.

Can you get me a Red Bull, or just a Coke or something?

-Right away, sir.

-Probably tomorrow, you'll receive ambassadors

and high commissioners from the Commonwealth.

There are also calls, the President of the United States

has rung-- -Oh God.

I don't-- I don't want--

-It's OK, you don't have to speak to any of them tonight.

-Any of them who?

-Well, the usual.

His Holiness, the Pope.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, of course.

The president of the French Republic.

-All right.

I just need a splash.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Right.

What's next.

-The Prime Minister.

-Your Majesty, I am so sorry.

Your father was a great man.

-Yeah.

He was something else.

He used to alway--

-Prime Minister.

You ready?

Do you swear to be faithful and bear true allegiance

to his majesty the King, his heirs and successors,

according to law, so help you god?

-You all right?

-Just about.

He seems OK.

-Yeah.

He'll be uh--

-Yeah.

-So, we've just become the king's page to the back stairs

then, eh? -I don't know.

But I have a sinking feeling he's

now talking to the king's valet.

-[LAUGHS] Very sad.

-Awful.

Just awful.

-[SOBBING]

-Hey, um, Johnny, right?

-Jimmy, sir.

-Yeah.

I think we could uh, all do with a drink.

-Of course, sir. -Make sure they're stiff ones.

-Oh yeah.

While the nation mourns, the royal family gets plastered.

Brilliant.

-Treble for her.

As much as you can get in the glass,

and go easy on the tonic.

-Are you sure you don't want a bit of puff, George.

Maybe something a bit stronger. -Now, now.

Poppy.

-Don't call me that.

-Daddy called you Poppy.

-Exactly.

QUEEN: James.

-Yes, ma'am.

-Lime, not lemon.

-Yes, ma'am.

-I'm sorry.

Are-- are we going to talk about this at all?

Oh, or am I the only one that's a little bit worried?

Rich?

King?

-Actually, I prefer a white wine.

Something dry.

-Mommy, for God's sake.

I'm sorry.

I love my brother.

-Yeah.

-I love my brother.

But surely we're all just a little bit worried about this?

Are we not?

I mean, Rich opening Parliament?

Rich visiting Australia?

-Well, we'll have to look after him.

-Yes, darling.

And you'll have to get used to a little

less time in the spotlight.

-Excuse me?

-James, why are you still here?

Now, let's see if we can all remember

how to behave, shall we?

-I want some olives.

I want some bloody olives!

And no one ever asks me what I think about anything.

-No.

No.

-Well, my darling boy, it's all yours, now.

[CHATTER]

-How long have you been queueing?

WOMAN 2: Eight hours.

-Eight hours.

And drove all the way from Durham.

WOMAN 2: We did, yes, ma'am.

-Well, I'm sure my father would have been deeply touched.

MAN 3: You should be the queen. -I'm sorry?

MAN 3: You should be the queen. -I'm sorry? -I'm sorry? MAN 3: You should be queen.

-I'm sorry? MAN 3: You should be queen.

-Me?

Queen?

MAN 3: Yes, ma'am.

-Oh, well I'm sure my brother will make a wonderful king.

MAN 3: But you're the oldest, the better one.

-That's very kind of you to say so.

MAN 3: Your Highness!

[CHEERING]

-Thank you.

Thank you very much.

-Hm.

Wasn't expecting you. [KISSING] You don't have to do this.

I can do this alone.

-No.

Iain's right.

I-- I should.

Have you talked to Mommy?

She seems weird.

-Not out here.

Even if a mic doesn't pick us up,

they'll have lip readers on us.

-Yes, of course.

Look, I'll do all this.

Uh, you can get out of here.

-No, I don't mind.

I quite enjoy it.

-No, go on.

Have a break.

-I've tried to get you an appointment with your brother.

His Majesty's page is getting back to me.

He's going to help himself to your favorite charities.

He's going to pull rank.

Shove you aside.

And he's never shown any interest in any of this.

And I'm sorry, ma'am, I'm out of line.

-No, no.

You're frustrated.

-Ma'am, may I speak frankly?

-Of course.

-You should be queen.

You should.

You're the oldest child, the most able,

charismatic, the hardest working,

it's what your father would have wanted.

-But Simon, my brother is king.

-Yes, but if people could only see how obviously

wrong he is and how you are so--

-You know how I've always been loyal to my king.

And how I could never ever do anything to hurt my brother?

-So that accounts for sections C, D, and E. Good.

Oh, hang on.

What about the Duke of Blakesley?

[SNIFFS] Next.

The coronation.

Now, I didn't want to tread on the Earl Marshal's toes,

and it is, of course, eight months away.

-So why don't we discuss it another time?

-Yes.

After the funeral, we shall move you into your new apartments.

I believe they're removing your father's belongings now.

-What?

-It all has to be archived, sir.

-You're touching his stuff.

-It will be sent to Windsor.

These are important historical documents.

-No, they're my father's.

Get out.

Everybody out.

[KNOCKING]

-Go away.

Iain send you to sweeten me up?

-It's all I'm good for.

-Where's the family?

-They've all returned to Windsor.

Your mother needed some attention.

-Well, I'm going to Windsor then.

-Yes, sir.

I'll make sure a car takes you there just as soon

as you've seen the ambassador. -Yeah, yeah.

All right.

I get it.

-I'm sorry.

When my mother died, it hit-- it--

it hit me much harder than I ever admitted.

-I didn't know that.

I'm sorry.

How are you now?

-Well, I smile a lot, but inside I'm in bits.

-I'm very sorry your loss.

-Thank you, sir.

-Who knows that we skipped the homeless shelter

and went straight to the club?

-No one who'll tell.

-Would you give me five minutes?

I'll do everything I'm meant to, just five minutes.

-Of course, sir.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Hey, it's me.

MIRANDA (ON PHONE): I'm really sorry about your father.

-Yeah. Look, can you get over here?

MIRANDA (ON PHONE): I'm not sure that can happen.

-I-- I know.

Well, I'll-- I'll make it happen.

Please.

-Abby!

Hi, Abby.

-Oh, hey Simon.

-Right.

Uh, fancy a drink?

-Bit busy, mate.

-Oh, I see.

Too busy for me now.

-Oh, well there's some funeral in Westminster Abbey tomorrow

morning, but apart from that, yeah,

my diary's completely empty. -Oh, come on.

Everyone's moping around, and you

look like you could do with a break.

-I've got a meeting on the outside, sorry.

-Hot date?

-Don't start getting all cute, now I work for the King.

-So you think I'm cute?

-Bye-bye.

-No, seriously.

We should talk about how Princess Eleanor could help.

Over lunch.

-Suddenly really, really busy.

-Working dinner?

-Nice and discreet.

-Abby, congratulations.

Relax.

No one's interested in you.

Not yet.

I was thinking champagne?

-OK.

-I mean, a book about the drunken Prince of Wales

will always do good business, but a warts and all

expose on the King.

Our book is going to be mega.

-Yeah.

-You're quiet.

-Oh.

It's-- uh, it's just a bit mental in there.

Lady Clarks' come bursting into tears.

-The Lady Clarks.

Oh, I love it.

Are they as upset as the page or the presence

and the keeper of the privy purse?

I'll order us a bottle.

Oh, what you're doing, it's amazing.

It's brave and it's-- oh, you're shining

a light on the monarchy.

Do you know, you walked in and you looked a bit flat,

I thought, oh god, she's got cold feet.

And then I thought, shit!

She wants more money.

-[LAUGHS]

[INDISTINCT YELLING]

-Jimmy.

-[MOANS]

-Jimmy, wake up.

-Ruby, for God's sake.

-We've run out of gin.

And it's your turn.

-I'm asleep.

Bugger off.

Ruby!

-Well, you hid a stash somewhere downstairs,

after the deal with the English cricket team.

-Hey, Jimmy.

Nice pants.

[LAUGHS]

-[SIGH]

-I'm sorry, Miranda.

I shouldn't have called you in.

It was just a wobble, and I'm fine.

And everything's going to be just great.

[SIGH] If someone just said, get ready,

it'll happen in a year's time.

A week, even.

It's just-- [SIGH] I just don't feel like a king.

-Get up.

-Hm?

-Go on, get up.

Go sit there.

Go on.

-Mm.

[LAUGHS]

MIRANDA: Go on.

There.

You're king.

See?

It's easy.

Nothing to it.

It's like falling off a very posh log.

[CHATTER]

-Oh my God.

-Jimmy, will you hand the tiniest details over.

-They were just kissing.

-Well, who was she?

-All I saw was her back.

She had dark hair, nice ass.

For a girl.

-Did he say what she sounded like?

Did he say anything?

-Think her mouth was full at the time.

Jimmy didn't tell me everything, I bet.

I don't think they were just kissing.

-Ridiculous.

And Mummy would have heard long before you, silly boy.

-Queens don't know everything.

Especially not these things.

-Excuse me?

-We all love Queen Charlotte, of course.

But now we've got a new king.

So maybe, you and she don't know everything these days.

Do you?

-There is no way his majesty would do anything like that.

-Oh, darling boy.

You're new.

When you have my experience, you'll

find it all comes to you.

It's like a sixth sense.

-Yeah.

Are you sure?

-Apparently it was in the poodle position.

-No, 'cause I'm the bloody valet.

And he tells me everything.

-Everything?

Not the fact they did it four times.

-Wicked.

Who's the lucky girl?

-I don't know mate, but apparently she gets a latrine.

-What?

-Does Jimmy know?

[PHONE RINGING]

-"The Sun" have a palace insider who claims that last night,

his majesty and a mystery woman were bonking each

other's brains out nonstop for seven hours.

Did nearly every position in the Kama Sutra

on the bloody throne.

I mean, I'm going to find this palace insider

and break their bloody legs.

There goes the honeymoon period!

-I was not.

It's a lie.

Am I really so stupid, I'd do it in the bloody throne room?

-Sometimes the crazier the story, the more people buy it.

-I take it there was a young lady, sir?

-They're delaying the splash because of the funeral.

But they won't wait long.

We need to prepare a strongly worded denial.

-Why bother to deny it?

It's beneath us.

-Iain, it's the first story they have about him as king.

It sets the tone.

-So does manipulating the press.

Once we start spinning--

-Do you know what they're going to say?

It's going to be vicious.

Something like, they'll write, "royal dick," or "royal member

gets a new job."

-"Bonking in palace."

-Yeah, thank you, Abby.

-"Crown jewels get a fresh polish."

-"My penis in her Abbey."

-Oh, for God's sake, will we please remember where we are?

-Well, "The Sun" won't.

Sir.

We need to spike the story and find whoever leaked this.

-We could give them the girl.

The girl that was with you.

And they go after her, she becomes the story.

-No.

-May I ask who the young lady is?

-No.

And don't even think about trying to find out,

or I'll bury you.

I need to prepare for my father's funeral.

-[SNICKERING] Oh, man. [LAUGHS]

-Why are you laughing?

We're meant to be paying our respects to Daddy,

and our brother's already cocking it up.

-It's just another story for the comics.

Half the country will be thinking, what a lucky bastard.

-Yeah.

And the other half will want to burn us at the stake.

-That's witches, sweetheart.

They cut our heads off.

-With Eleanor, you'd probably have to do both.

-[LAUGHS] God, sis.

-Am I the only one?

Am I the only bloody one?

-Come on, then.

-[SOBBING]

-Izzy, you come stand next to me.

Eleanor, swap places with her.

-You're going to be OK.

Great.

Don't worry about the public or the 2 billion people

watching on TV.

We're right beside you.

You just think about Daddy.

-The King is dead.

Long live the King.

-You know, I was always uh, scared of him.

Yeah, some twat is uh, probably gonna tell me that I'm

in denial, but uh, I'm not going to miss him at all.

Just scared the pants off me.

You'll be like that.

-Oh, shut up.

-Rich, people have been scared of you

since you started shaving.

-I'm not like him.

-Well, you certainly proved that last night.

Let's do a round next week.

Pop up to Scotland.

Do 18.

And then get some jet skis.

[LAUGHS] Like we did that time.

God, do you remember? [CHUCKLES] When

you nearly killed that old fisherman?

I thought we were going to get strung up.

-Whatever happens, whether we deny it or not,

they run the story.

Yeah?

-Y-- yes, sir.

-Today, they all stared at me walking behind his coffin.

And when the story breaks, they'll just think-- OK.

I want to show the people who I really am.

Show them I'm not just a kid who just shags around.

And I want to do that in a live television interview.

No hiding.

No secrets.

We'll get them to ask me what happened last night so I

can break the story in my own way.

Explain it and stop "The Sun" having an exclusive.

Now look, I know this is risky.

But I want to do this.

I want it to happen.

And you're going to make it happen.

Oh great.

Well that's-- thanks.

Thanks for the votes of confidence.

-Yes, well sir, it uh, does it have to be live?

-Of course it has to be bloody live.

Jonty?

-I'm worried it'll backfire.

-Oh, yeah.

Because I have never faced a camera.

Never talked to the press.

-Well, not without the chance to cut or re-edit.

-That [SIGH] that's the point.

-All right.

Your majesty.

Is it true that you've had sex with over 300 women?

-On which tour?

New York or Madrid? [CHUCKLES] And then, I'm just--

oh, come on.

That's for you.

It's a joke.

-You can't joke when it's live.

They'll ask about your girlfriend.

-Yeah, fine.

-About screwing her on the throne.

-I wasn't. -Well, you'll want to say what?

That you were just holding hands?

You think they'll let you do that?

-I'll deal with it.

-They'll dig up all those old stories about you.

Make you explain yourself over and over.

And they'll find some new ones, too.

-Well, bring it on.

-They'll compare you to your father.

Make you look like a kid.

They'll make you lose your temper, make you say things--

-Jonty!

-I'll brief you night and day.

Do mock interviews.

Ask all sorts of questions.

But please, sir, please.

Don't risk it.

-I want to.

-Jonty's right.

-No he's not.

-With respect, sir--

-No, shut up, Iain!

For God's sake!

I know what I'm doing!

I can handle these people!

And I won't just suddenly lose it.

Gah, shit!

I won't.

And I'll be fine.

Abigail?

What do you think?

-I think you'll be brilliant, sir.

-Thank you.

Well, there we are, then.

-Brilliant.

Brilliant?

We're letting his majesty the King discuss his sex life

on live television with a complete stranger,

and you think it's brilliant!

-What was I supposed to say?

He needed me to support him.

I had to say that.

And you never know.

-You never know.

[SCOFFS] I'd better talk to the Prime Minister.

He is going to love it.

[KNOCKING]

-Ma'am?

-Tell me everything.

-Hello.

-Hello, tiger.

We're here to shoot your governor.

-Right.

If we do 15 minutes here, then you

can talk me through how we're going

to sell hospital cuts to "The Guardian."

Oi, Miranda.

Coming or not?

-I know you're advising him as best you can, Iain,

but this is still a pretty bloody lousy idea.

-His majesty knows his own mind.

-We all know how loyal you are, Iain.

I just don't want to be the PM who watched the monarchy hang

itself and didn't try to warn them.

-And from a press point of view, this is horrific.

Thanks.

Live.

-Anyway, who is this dim tart he's supposed to be shagging?

-Teddy, you're enjoying this a little too much.

-I know it's just a newspaper headline.

But if he buggers this up tonight,

he might never regain the nation's confidence.

I mean, he'd always be "Tricky Dickie."

-Yeah.

We've been there.

-I bet you have.

How difficult is it for him and his bird to tie a knot in it?

Keep it in their pants?

-Who've they got to interview him?

-Joanna Woodward.

-Oh, shit.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Talk him out of it.

She ate me alive last time.

-We have been working on questions--

-And she flayed the skin off my back.

-The king is determined.

-You know, she made Gaddafi cry?

-Can't you go with the BBC?

I mean, get somebody soft.

-With ITV, we have some measure of control.

If they play dirty, they blow the chance

of ever getting his Christmas broadcast.

-You think you're going to make it 'til Christmas?

Good luck, Iain.

Well certainly be watching.

Won't we, Miranda?

-It's quite nice in here, isn't it?

-You wait.

-Not bad.

Tell you what, though.

When I worked on the Bond, we shot

in the Grand Palace Bangkok.

Now, that's impressive.

[KNOCKING]

-Yeah, do I look all right?

Yep.

-Ahem.

Do you have time for your sister, sir?

-Yeah, go on.

All right, just give us a minute, will you now?

No.

Don't.

No more of that.

-Oh, Rich.

You're king, whether we're alone or not.

-Yeah, tell me about it.

-Oh.

Good luck.

You all set?

-Yeah.

Yeah, it's good.

-Good.

And they've briefed you properly?

Going live can be a minefield. -Yeah, all right.

Thank you. -All right.

Touchy.

-Was there a reason you came by, I'm on in 10 minutes.

-There is.

Mommy's worried about you.

She doesn't think you're up to it.

-What? She said that?

-No.

I'm-- you know she never actually says anything.

Unless it's laced in arsenic.

We're the only ones who know what

it's like to be the circus.

To face the cameras alone.

To uphold our Daddy's memory.

-Did he ever-- God, you were so much closer to him than me.

Did he ever say this-- -No, no, no.

Forget about him.

-Well, I should've been there.

-Uh, Rich.

You were visiting a homeless center.

You can hardly beat yourself up over that, can you?

-I didn't.

George and I just buggered off to the club

and-- [SIGH] do you really think I'm going to screw this up?

-No.

No.

I just wish you'd spoken to me first.

[CHUCKLES] You know I'll always be here to pick you up,

don't you?

-Hm.

-Hm?

-Hm.

-Yeah, basically your pole is short in a building like this.

What'd you expect?

You'd think your boss would put his hand

in his pocket to fix it, though.

-Hello.

Hello.

Uh--

-This is going to be great. I've spoken to Joanna--

-I know, Jonty.

Enough now.

I'm ready.

-Yes, sir.

-Joanna.

-Your Majesty.

-You have some reputation.

-So do you, sir. -[LAUGHTER]

-Shall we?

-Absolutely.

Are you going to beat me up, Joanna?

-Oh, I'm a softy.

-Five, four, three--

-Good evening and welcome to Buckingham Palace.

I'm Joanna Woodward, and tonight it is my great honor

to talk to one of the most famous men on the planet.

Whether for his role as monarch or for his ability

to drink 13 flaming Sambucas in an evening.

I'm talking, of course, about his majesty, King Richard IV.

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

-Now you insisted on this interview being filmed live.

Why is that?

-Uh, well Joanna, I thought it was important to give people

a better sense of their new King.

And I wanted to do it live to show that I'm not trying

to spin my image or manipulate what I say.

JOANNA WOODWARD (ON TV): Well, I'm sure--

-Not an idea man.

JOANNA WOODWARD (ON TV): Some might

say that's a wonderful, brave, and open gesture.

-Thank you.

-Good man, good man.

-Is it true that you spiked a "News of the World" story that

claimed that you'd been begging your sister, Princess Eleanor,

to become queen in your place?

-[LAUGHS] Uh, gosh.

I-- I uh, I'm sure the "News of the World"

have some wonderful tales, but I can promise you,

the last thing my sister wants is to be queen.

-Mm.

Go Rich.

JOANNA WOODWARD (ON TV): So now, what would you

say to a single mother of four, living on a tough housing

estate, what would she make of your performance tonight?

-Oh, Joanna.

I think it's a little unfair.

This isn't a performance.

JOANNA WOODWARD (ON TV): But she must see you,

she must hear everything you've been saying.

Like, for instance, that you only

cost each taxpayer the equivalent of a Kit Kat.

And-- but she's still broke, and you're still living in luxury.

-Well, I would try and explain that um, just as--

-Iain.

-Hm?

-You're holding my hand.

-Oh, well.

Sorry, sorry.

- --in this palace, which is owned by the people, not me.

And I do it because I represent the crown.

-When did you discover this sudden devotion to the people?

-Uh, when my father died.

JOANNA WOODWARD (ON TV): Your father's death

didn't stop you bring your lover into the palace

in the boot of a car.

Or then having sex with her in the throne room, did it?

-No.

Uh, I have to confess, I do still have a love life.

Um, however salacious you wish to make the details.

-And who is she?

-And I'm learning, uh, single man or not,

that my uh, behavior has to change.

By the way, what is a Kit Kat?

[CHEERING]

-He shoots and he scores!

-That's my line.

He stole my line.

I'm serious!

-Oh, you could charm the nations, sir.

RICHARD IV (ON TV): [CHUCKLES] Oh,

Joanna, you should be careful.

You're in danger of being nice to me.

JOANNA WOODWARD (ON TV): What would you say to the quite

rational argument in defense of the monarchy,

that it's a necessary figurehead,

wouldn't you say that people are right when they say that--

-May I speak to the producer, please?

Tell them it's Clarence House.

JOANNA WOODWARD: --and be the choice of the people?

-Well no, I didn't agree.

And, well, this is a political matter, and something

that I can't get involved in.

-Great answer.

So who wrote your script for tonight?

-Oh, Joanna. Come on.

This is a live interview.

We both know it's live.

JOANNA WOODWARD: No, come on.

We know the real you.

Caught with your pants down.

A buckle in one hand and the crown jewels in the other.

I'm sorry.

I'm sure you're not used to being

spoken to like this by your servants.

-I don't have any servants.

-Footmen, then.

Butlers, valets, pages--

-Oh, please, God.

JOANNA WOODWARD: --a whole entourage.

Come on.

I thought we were being open.

No spin, you said.

-My image is spun every day by tabloid gossip.

JOANNA WOODWARD: Every story about you is untrue.

-No.

No, not all.

JOANNA WOODWARD: So which ones are true then?

Your Majesty.

Come on.

So which of these nasty press stories about you

gives us the real you?

Which of these stories-- which do you think

would have upset your father the most?

What did your father think of you?

-I never-- I never got the chance to ask him.

-Because you weren't there when he died.

You were out at a nightclub.

While your sister and mother--

-What do you want?

-Just the truth.

-No, no.

You want-- you want me to be both common and royal.

You want me to lead you as head of state

and then trip up so you can stuff me

on the cover of "Heat" magazine.

I love getting drunk. OK?

I love it.

Clubbing, dancing, all of it.

I've tried drugs.

I make a fool out of myself most of the time.

And I've hurt people just to bury stories about me.

I am ashamed and terrified I'll never

live up to my father's standards.

I just want to hide.

Get drunk again.

Scream from the roof.

And most days, I feel like a little boy, a fool.

But I love my country.

And whether it's in Cardiff, or in Edinburgh, or just driving

over the Pennines, I have this incredible buzz.

I couldn't be more proud.

And I hope one day I can repay the favor.

-Your Majesty.

Thank you for your candor.

-That was all right, wasn't it?

-Train wreck, right?

-Sky ran a poll straight afterwards.

Asked the question, will Richard make a good king?

53% said yes.

-Well, so not dead yet.

-Not yet, sir.

-I know I've always treated you like-- oh, you know.

Always getting me in and out of parties and stuff.

-Stuff?

-Quite a lot of stuff, wasn't it?

-Your majesty.

[GIGGLING] You were fantastic.

God, I was glued to my seat.

Wasn't I, Simon?

I was glued.

-Yes, ma'am.

Congratulations, your Majesty.

-Thank you.

-I'll try and book in to see you soon.

And well done, again.

Wow.

-Thanks, darling.

-Only 53% said yes.

-So 47 already on our side.

-Mhm. I'll need to find the lover.

He's very protective of her.

-How do you get on with Abigail?

-Very well.

-Hm.

He's got a soft spot for her.

She'll be the one with the secrets.

Go for her.

-Yes, ma'am.

He's not-- she's not the lover, is she?

-[LAUGHS] Oh, Simon.

We don't do staff.

You're funny.

-I need you around.

You're straight with me, honest.

Id I'm going to have a chance in hell,

then I'll need you with me.

You'll be there, right?

-Yes, sir.

-Good.

[SOBBING]

-Niel.

-Mr. Roberts.

Hello.

I thought you'd be out there with him.

-No, I wanted to spend some time with you.

Did I ever tell you that I once had a drunken snog

with Felicity Knight of "The Sun"?

Now, if I was Felicity, I'd have been

grooming you for some time.

Casual meeting by accident in a bar.

Then tickets for a club.

A film premier.

All because you're mates.

Champagne every time you meet.

And then the offer.

Just the truth.

A chance to tell his side of things.

Never meant to be a betrayal.

-The way she put it, she already knew about the stuff

with him and the girl.

It was only when I tried to correct her

that I realized she was bluffing.

And that I'd given it to her on a plate.

I was trying to explain that he was stressed

and that he's human.

And that he's going to be a wonderful king.

I'm so ashamed.

-Yeah.

First thing, you're not going to tell anyone about this.

But you're going to let Felicity know that you're

up for selling other stories to her.

But I'll tell you what to say and when.

-OK sir.

Yes, sir.

-That way, you get to keep your job.

But if I ever do need the inside track on what his majesty's

planning or thinking, you'll be happy to tell me.

Won't you, Neil?

[CHATTER]

[KNOCKING]

GEORGE: Piss off!

[CHATTER]

-Oh, there he is.

Here he is, ladies and gentleman,

the man, the myth, my bloody brother.

Come on in.

Come in.

It's lager o'clock.

We're saving up the empty bottles

to throw at the piper at dawn.

Hey.

Did you get my text, mate?

I just wanted to say, I thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Well, stop standing in the doorway like a bloody page.

Come on in, you fool.

-No, I-- I just wanted to check you were OK.

-Of course I'm OK.

I'm George.

-[LAUGHS]

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-Hey Rich, now you're the big man.

Any chance of giving me Scotland?

[MUSIC PLAYING]