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1
00:01:22,649 --> 00:01:23,683
Oh!
2
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:27,354
Ah!
3
00:01:38,131 --> 00:01:39,332
Oh.
4
00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:40,867
I am a rich man!
5
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:43,703
Your bar mitzvah bonds?
6
00:01:43,703 --> 00:01:46,106
Wow, what are you gonna do
with the money?
7
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,108
I'm just kicking around
some investment strategies.
8
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,076
I figure I'll put my money
to work for me.
9
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,845
Yeah? You have any ideas?
10
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:55,348
$5,000, hmm.
11
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,751
I could buy myself a farm,
12
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:59,786
get a couple of chickens,
and lay my own eggs.
13
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:02,589
Well, actually, I was
wondering if you had any ideas.
14
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,791
Me? Oh!
15
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,159
Well, in my opinion--
16
00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,428
When I say "you," I mean you,
or you and Richard.
17
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,131
Or uh, or just Richard.
18
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,433
Martin, if you wanna know what
Richard does with his money,
19
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:15,135
- why don't you just ask me?
- I don't.
20
00:02:16,069 --> 00:02:19,939
But now that you bring it up,
what stocks does Richard own?
Just out of curiosity.
21
00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,709
No, Richard doesn't invest
in the stock market anymore.
22
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,811
Back when he was raising money
for his hospital,
23
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,313
he had sort of a bad experience.
24
00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:29,582
- Took a beating, huh?
- No.
25
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,218
When he sold his portfolio,
26
00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:35,221
he inadvertently
triggered the '87 crash.
27
00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:37,557
I should've known better.
28
00:02:37,557 --> 00:02:39,492
Well, that was
informative.
29
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,094
Well, I hope I've been helpful.
30
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:43,096
Oh, very, yeah.
Thanks a million, okay.
31
00:02:43,096 --> 00:02:44,664
And bye-bye, now.
32
00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,733
- So long, Judith.
- Toby.
33
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,202
I know just how you feel.
34
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,706
- About what?
- This whole investment thing.
35
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:56,109
You got awful big ears
for a small guy.
36
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,778
- Makes your head spin, don't it?
- Like a top.
37
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:01,281
What if I told you there was
a number you could call
38
00:03:01,281 --> 00:03:04,084
for investment advice that would
double your money like that.
39
00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,754
- Really? What's the number?
- There is no number.
40
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,156
- That's my point.
- What are you talking about?
41
00:03:10,156 --> 00:03:12,559
There is no number yet.
That's where I come in.
42
00:03:12,559 --> 00:03:14,527
1-900-555-TIPS.
43
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:16,529
Home of the hottest stock tips
in town.
44
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,433
Extra, extra,
read all about it!
45
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:21,801
Has the mail come in yet?
46
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,470
Look, Martin,
I'm telling you,
47
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,071
these numbers
are like gold mines.
48
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:26,840
If I charge a dollar a minute,
49
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,976
I'll be a millionaire
in like, a million minutes.
50
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,745
Toby, you can't
just start a business.
51
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:34,280
First of all, where are you
gonna get the money?
52
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,683
- That's where you come in.
- Pardon me?
53
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:38,685
Well, I hear you're looking
for an investment,
54
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:40,086
and since you're a good friend,
55
00:03:40,086 --> 00:03:42,622
I'll let you in on the ground
floor for say, 5,000?
56
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,927
That's very generous,
but no thanks.
57
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,403
Hey, come on, Martin.
58
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:58,938
In 11 years, have I ever
asked you for anything?
59
00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,440
Yes, all the time.
60
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,043
Well, then this is my chance
to do somethin' for you.
61
00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,944
Thank you,
but I'm not interested.
62
00:04:05,578 --> 00:04:07,981
Toby, could we just drop this, please?
63
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,884
You know what
the trouble with you is?
You got no vision.
64
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,720
If you had invested
that quarter in my business,
65
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:15,822
it'd be worth 50 cents
in no time.
66
00:04:15,822 --> 00:04:19,091
Instead of a pack of gum,
you could be buying M&M's.
67
00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:21,193
Or... potato sticks.
68
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,631
Hey! I took a seminar.
69
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:28,234
I got my business plans,
my budget.
70
00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:30,837
I even got an expert from
the Columbia Business School
71
00:04:30,837 --> 00:04:32,238
to work the phones.
72
00:04:32,238 --> 00:04:33,873
No, that's not what I mean.
73
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:36,042
It's not a bad idea, actually.
It's...
74
00:04:37,344 --> 00:04:39,279
It's a matter of business sense.
75
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,514
Some people have it,
and some people don't.
76
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:43,516
I just don't think this is right
for you, and--
77
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:46,453
Oh, why not? Come on, Martin,
give me a chance.
78
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,389
For just pennies a day,
you could make a difference
in my life.
79
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,625
I could be someone,
walk tall, and proud.
80
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,260
Please, won't you help?
81
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,033
- Look into my eyes.
- I'm afraid to.
82
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:03,436
- Toby, I--
- Please, Martin.
83
00:05:08,274 --> 00:05:10,810
Look. Deeper.
84
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,422
You won't regret this.
85
00:05:22,422 --> 00:05:24,858
And don't worry, from now on
you're out of the loop.
86
00:05:24,858 --> 00:05:28,795
I'll make all the decisions.
You'll be the silent partner.
87
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:32,399
You just sit back, relax,
leave the driving to Toby.
88
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:39,406
Actually, you know, just feel
free to keep me informed.
89
00:05:39,406 --> 00:05:42,609
After all,
I have a little more experience
in the business world,
90
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:45,211
- and I'd hate to see you...
- Run us all into bankruptcy.
91
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,380
...struggle unnecessarily.
92
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,616
Okay, we'll see.
93
00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,352
I really appreciate this.
94
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,789
Thanks for believing
in me, Martin.
95
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:01,861
As I always say, fellas,
96
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,863
doin' a good deed is reward
in itself.
97
00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:05,198
Hey, I like that.
98
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:06,966
This isn't gonna bounce, is it?
99
00:06:24,417 --> 00:06:26,052
What do you think you're doing?
100
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,054
- Making a phone call.
- Not on my time.
101
00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,291
I don't pay you to make
personal calls.
102
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,193
Pay me? You haven't paid me
in two weeks!
103
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:36,830
Hey, look, I told you I'm having
a little cash flow trouble,
that's all.
104
00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,264
You know what? Fuck this.
105
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:39,766
- I'm outta here.
- Hey, wait.
106
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:42,469
How about instead of a salary
I'll give you 5% of the profits?
107
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:44,404
I can make more money
selling my blood.
108
00:06:44,938 --> 00:06:48,341
Oh, fine! Leave.
Hey, who needs you?
109
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:50,510
See if I give
you any references!
110
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,480
Ohh!
111
00:06:54,981 --> 00:06:57,017
555-TIPS.
Hottest tips in town.
112
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,885
Toby, hi, it's Judith.
113
00:06:58,885 --> 00:07:01,721
I heard about your service,
and I thought I'd try it out.
114
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,390
Oh, so, did Martin put you
up to this?
115
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:05,658
No, no, no. Uh...
116
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,561
Anyway, I have some money
I'd like to invest.
117
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,264
So is there someone
that I could speak to?
118
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,000
Uh, well, that would be me.
119
00:07:15,568 --> 00:07:16,603
Okay...
120
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,205
I'm interested
in a low-risk stock
121
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,607
with high growth potential.
122
00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:22,776
How much money we talking about?
123
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,378
$300,000.
124
00:07:25,979 --> 00:07:27,280
Oh.
125
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,550
Oh, did I say 100,000?
Wishful thinking.
126
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:33,119
I- I meant 3,000.
127
00:07:33,119 --> 00:07:36,556
Well, would that be in big bills
or fives and tens?
128
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:38,692
It's-- It's in the bank.
129
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:41,561
Well, that sounds uh,
good to me.
130
00:07:41,561 --> 00:07:44,097
Of course,
that's just my opinion.
131
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,800
- Get more specifics.
- Yeah.
132
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,969
Any specific stocks or um...
133
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,671
companies you could recommend?
134
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,942
Hello?
135
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,010
I'm thinking!
136
00:07:58,144 --> 00:07:59,612
Uh, uh...
137
00:07:59,612 --> 00:08:03,817
$3,000, uh, you know,
if you're interested,
138
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,486
I am always
looking for investors.
139
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,787
Ah--
140
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,923
whoops, there's the door,
I gotta go.
141
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,292
Thanks so much,
and good night.
142
00:08:14,994 --> 00:08:17,997
Well, easy come, easy go.
143
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,801
Well, that oughta clear
everything up.
144
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:35,181
You asked for it.
145
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:36,583
Morning, Toby.
146
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:40,954
- How's the business going?
- You spoke to Judith,
didn't you?
147
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:42,856
Yes. Yes, I did.
148
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,657
What are you doing
giving investment advice?
149
00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,059
It was a one-time thing.
150
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,428
The phone was ringing
off the hooks. It was bedlam.
151
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:51,231
Oh yeah? What happened
to your expert from Columbia?
152
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:52,365
He was at lunch.
153
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,868
Lunch? Really?
At 08:15 p.m.?
154
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,436
Who are you? Dragnet?
155
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,071
- Yes, ma'am.
- No.
156
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,207
Don't worry.
I got it under control.
157
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:03,677
- How many calls have you had?
- Oh, scads.
158
00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:05,879
- Pin it down.
- Can you give me a number?
159
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,480
- I mean, 100?
- Ah...
160
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:09,049
- 20?
- Uh...
161
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,217
- Six?
- 126!
162
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,319
You're a liar.
163
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,388
Okay, you're obviously having
some problems.
164
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:18,324
I'm gonna go down there tonight
and straighten things out.
165
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,360
- No, forget it!
- Toby.
166
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,629
I put $5,000 in this business.
167
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:25,365
You're the silent partner.
Why am I still hearing you?
168
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:27,500
I think I have the right
to protect my investment.
169
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:29,636
- No, you don't.
- Why not?
170
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:31,838
Let me explain
with a hypothetical analogy.
171
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:34,274
Pretend that instead
of investing in my business,
172
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,409
you invested in
a button company.
173
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,145
We make all kinds of buttons--
big buttons, small buttons,
174
00:09:39,145 --> 00:09:41,147
red buttons, green buttons,
round buttons--
175
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:42,449
I got it, it's a button company.
176
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:45,018
Okay, now pretend
that this button company,
177
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,319
instead of making buttons,
178
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,723
is a small telephone business
like mine.
179
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,025
Uh-huh.
180
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:53,893
Is that making it
any clearer to you?
181
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:55,995
What the hell
are you talking about?
182
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,964
What does this have to do
with buttons?
183
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,300
I think you're
missing the point.
184
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:03,470
- Which is?
- Which is, get off my back!
185
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:06,639
I am perfectly capable
of running my business myself.
186
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,742
- Look--
- No, I don't want to hear it.
187
00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,311
At 555-TIPS, I'm the boss.
You got it?
188
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,246
Now, at Whitestone,
you're the boss.
189
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:15,682
So if you want me to make copies
or get your coffee,
190
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,318
that is my job,
and I will do it gladly.
191
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,754
Okay, fine.
192
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:22,922
Fine.
193
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:27,694
Could you make me a copy
of the Levine file?
194
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:28,828
Do it yourself.
195
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:45,745
Oh! Ah! Oh.
196
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:49,883
555-TIPS.
197
00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:52,018
Home of the hottest tips
in town.
198
00:10:52,018 --> 00:10:53,753
What are you wearing?
199
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:55,221
What do you care
what I'm wearing?
200
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,123
Are you wearing rubber panties?
201
00:10:57,123 --> 00:10:59,059
No, what are you,
some kind of freak?
202
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,894
Yeah, yeah, I'm a freak.
203
00:11:00,894 --> 00:11:02,862
Well, stick your head
in the oven.
204
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:05,598
Maybe I should. Should I take
my underpants off first?
205
00:11:05,598 --> 00:11:07,233
That does it,
I'm calling the cops.
206
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,469
Wait a minute.
Isn't this the S&M chat line?
207
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:10,603
S&M chat line?
208
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,273
Oh, I'm sorry.
Wrong number.
209
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:14,774
Wait, wait, wait!
Don't hang up.
210
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,778
Yes, this is the S&M chat line.
211
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:19,846
Oh.
212
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,716
So, uh... Where were we?
213
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,150
Well...
214
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,218
You want some pain?
215
00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,787
Yes, oh, yes.
216
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:28,855
Okay.
217
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,892
Bend your fingers back.
Hard!
218
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,294
Ohhh!
219
00:11:38,298 --> 00:11:40,066
Now bang your funny bone
on the table.
220
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:41,468
- Ow!
- Again!
221
00:11:41,468 --> 00:11:43,503
- Ooh!
- Not so funny, is it?
222
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:44,904
Oh, hurt me.
223
00:11:44,904 --> 00:11:47,073
Hurt me, hurt me, hurt me,
hurt me, oh, yes!
224
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:48,475
Oh, I love you, Mommy. Oh!
225
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,976
Should I keep going?
226
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,045
No, I'm finished. Thank you.
227
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,514
Okay, nice talking to you.
228
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,986
Gina? It's Toby.
229
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:02,122
Your sister, Toby.
230
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,057
Look, I got an idea.
231
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,998
We're live, by the way.
The numbers are 475-1550.
232
00:12:11,998 --> 00:12:14,134
- Hi, what's your question?
- Hi! Hi!
233
00:12:14,134 --> 00:12:16,069
Hi, I'm Janko from Queens.
234
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,071
I would like Virginia
to please reveal
235
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,240
her secrets for acting success.
236
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,575
Oh, sure, delightful.
237
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,578
De-lovely, delicious.
238
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:28,515
Okay, so here's where your
interview techniques differ.
239
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:30,216
You never lick
your guests' nipples.
240
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,452
At least, not on the air.
241
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,553
Bye! Bye!
242
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:37,557
Ooh,
another smiling face.
243
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,659
Hey, look, man,
your mom's on TV.
244
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:41,695
What are you, 12?
245
00:12:41,695 --> 00:12:42,996
I'm Lola.
246
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:44,764
Call me, and I'll teach
you a lesson.
247
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,866
- Ow!
- Hit him, hit him!
248
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,470
Ooh!
249
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,839
Wait a minute, look.
Who's your sister?
250
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:58,044
I'm Ginger, and I'll get you
so hot your head'll explode.
251
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,646
- Oh, really?
- Aah!
252
00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:02,115
Just call.
253
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:05,685
I'm Toby,
and I got an attitude.
254
00:13:05,685 --> 00:13:07,654
I got the kinkiest phone
sex line...
255
00:13:07,654 --> 00:13:08,855
Holy shit!
256
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:12,459
Call 1-900-555-WIPS.
257
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:16,563
You'll be sorry you did.
Dial now, or else.
258
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,465
$4.95 a minute,
Se habla espa
259
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:22,469
You asshole. You didn't tell me
it was a phone sex business.
260
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,838
Shut up.
261
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:28,074
Wow!
262
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,644
- Hello?
- A phone sex line?
263
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,080
Now you're running
a phone sex line?
264
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,516
- No, I'm not running--
- Oh, don't give me that.
265
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:40,553
I just saw Toby on TV.
How can you support that?
266
00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:43,790
That smut! Have you no morals?
No decency?
267
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:47,193
Judith, what are you doing
watching The Naked Channel?
268
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,294
Hmm?
269
00:13:48,294 --> 00:13:50,663
I- I um...
270
00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:53,566
I wasn't watching,
I was just you know,
271
00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,403
flipping through the channels,
and... uh-oh!
272
00:13:56,403 --> 00:13:58,104
Call waiting, gotta go.
273
00:13:58,104 --> 00:13:59,572
I--
274
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:04,678
- What are you doing?
- Just a second.
275
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:08,048
Yeah, hi, um,
my name is Martin,
276
00:14:08,048 --> 00:14:09,516
and I've been very naughty.
277
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,584
Gimme that. Eddie, hang up.
278
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,788
Yeah, well, it seems like
I can't stop touching myself.
279
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,456
- Eddie!
- Yeah, what?
280
00:14:16,456 --> 00:14:18,658
You're gonna do what?
281
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:22,095
Really, well, I could
really get into that.
282
00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,365
Hey, what's that bulge
in your pocket?
283
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:26,833
Give me that.
284
00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:30,603
I wanna talk to Toby.
285
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,672
Why? I'm not gettin' you hot?
286
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:35,675
Gina, is-- is that you?
287
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,143
I'll be anybody you want me
to be.
288
00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:40,613
This is Martin, Martin Tupper.
I wanna talk to Toby right now.
289
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:43,783
- Well, she's busy.
- Why, I oughta...
290
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,418
But I'd be happy
to finish you off.
291
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:47,754
No, no, no.
I don't wanna be finished off.
292
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:50,457
Okay, have it your way.
Spank you for calling.
293
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:58,932
555-WIPS, home of the hottest
whips in town.
294
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,533
Toby, what the hell
is going on?
295
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:01,768
I do not approve of this.
296
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:02,869
Tough noogies!
297
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:05,572
Fuck!
298
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,010
555-WIPS!
299
00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,379
No, wait, wait, wait!
Do not hang up, Toby.
300
00:15:12,379 --> 00:15:15,715
- You and I need to talk.
- Sorry, wrong number.
301
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:20,453
Never trust a telephone.
Come yourself.
302
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,756
I'm going down there.
Lock up for me, will you?
303
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,691
Hey, no problem.
Martin, Martin!
304
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:26,760
- What?!
- Ah, the phone.
305
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:36,970
Yeah, hi.
306
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:39,005
I'm naked.
307
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,279
Yeah, bite the inside
of your cheek, you know,
308
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,881
like you was chewing something.
309
00:15:47,881 --> 00:15:49,349
- Atta boy!
- So bad...
310
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:51,351
- Yeah, I'm six feet tall.
- How's that?
311
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,387
I'm gonna fuck you so hard,
I'll get you pregnant.
312
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:58,091
I'm 5'7", 110 pounds,
long blonde hair,
313
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,359
and I'm a cheerleader.
314
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:00,593
You want some head?
315
00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:04,097
Oh, Martin, what's another
word for penis?
316
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,901
- Rex the Wonder Horse.
- The Golden Shrimp.
317
00:16:07,901 --> 00:16:09,269
It's my persuader.
318
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:13,306
- Excuse me. Toby.
- So did you like my commercial?
319
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,109
- Do you have a minute, please?
- I'm on with a customer.
320
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,712
I don't care.
Hang up that phone right now!
321
00:16:18,712 --> 00:16:20,647
Oh, Martin, please.
Give me a break.
322
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,615
I'm trying to create
a mood here.
323
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,588
Take over on line two,
would you, Ma?
324
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:32,525
Ooh! Ooh, yeah!
325
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,162
That's all right.
She didn't bark.
326
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:37,497
What are you doing here?
327
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,633
What am I doing?
What are you doing?
328
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,268
I'm trying to run
a company here.
329
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,337
Yes, yes, I know--
a phone sex company.
330
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,339
Oh, and you got
some kinda problem with that?
331
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:48,108
As a matter of fact, I do, yes.
332
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:50,977
I refuse to support this or any
other kind of pornography.
333
00:16:50,977 --> 00:16:54,247
Oh, really? Then why were you
watching The Naked Channel?
334
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,586
I wasn't watching, I was just
flipping through the channels.
335
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,287
Oh, so now since
you're a crusader,
336
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:03,923
should I get rid
of the Penthouse in your desk?
337
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,928
Look, morality aside, you had
no right to change the format.
338
00:17:08,928 --> 00:17:11,664
I gave you that money for an
investment hotline, not this.
339
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,933
We tried your method,
and it went down the toilet.
340
00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,536
What do you mean, my method?
It was your idea.
341
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:20,940
Hey To, I got a guy in a diaper
on three, can you take it?
342
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:24,944
Ga, ga! Ga, ga!
Ga-ga-ga-ga...
343
00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,346
Ah, give it to Aunt Vera.
344
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,816
How's that?
345
00:17:29,816 --> 00:17:31,518
Why can't you give me
any credit?
346
00:17:31,518 --> 00:17:33,787
You should be thanking me.
We're finally making money.
347
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:36,189
I don't care.
I don't care how much money
we're making.
348
00:17:36,189 --> 00:17:39,059
Well then, you're not a very
smart businessman, are you?
349
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:42,062
Look, either you give me back
my money or you do what I say.
350
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,630
You know what the trouble
with you is?
351
00:17:43,630 --> 00:17:45,331
You can't take it
that I'm in charge.
352
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:49,602
- No, no, that's not it at all.
- Oh, yeah? Then, what is, huh?
353
00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:53,473
- Well, it's... it's...
- Just answer the questions.
354
00:17:53,473 --> 00:17:55,542
It's a matter
of corporate accountability.
355
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,110
As an investor,
I have certain rights,
356
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:58,812
and you have certain
fiduciary obligations.
357
00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:02,015
Baloney! Admit it, Martin.
You think I'm dumb as a stump.
358
00:18:02,015 --> 00:18:03,416
Yes, ma'am.
359
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,885
All right, you wanna know
what I think?
360
00:18:05,885 --> 00:18:07,354
I think that occasionally,
361
00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,155
you lose sight
of your limitations.
362
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:12,859
- My limitations?
- Yes, yes, that's right.
363
00:18:13,526 --> 00:18:15,395
Oh, I see.
364
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,864
Well, let me tell you something.
365
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:19,632
How smart am I supposed
to look when all I do
366
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:21,401
is type and file
and make coffee?
367
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,104
You know, just because
that's all you see me do,
368
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:25,739
that doesn't mean
that's all I can do.
369
00:18:25,739 --> 00:18:27,774
And if you don't
understand that,
370
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:29,409
you're the one
with the limitations.
371
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:33,179
Tobe, Tobe, listen,
I'm sorry to interrupt you,
372
00:18:33,179 --> 00:18:35,382
but I got a shoe fetish
emergency on five.
373
00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:38,585
I'll get right to it, Ma.
See yourself out.
374
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,889
This is gonna be one movie
without a happy ending.
375
00:18:46,092 --> 00:18:48,061
What do you want, Shoe Boy?
376
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,362
You're a heel.
377
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:53,099
I'm gonna make you wear clogs
that are three sizes too small.
378
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,601
Oh, you don't think I will?
379
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:08,848
Morning, Toby.
380
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:13,853
- How was your weekend?
- Fine.
381
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:20,026
Okay, look, I want to talk
to you about the other night.
382
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:23,229
Okay, I underestimated you,
and I was way out of line,
and I just...
383
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,466
I'm sorry.
384
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,337
Oh, and, uh, these are for you.
385
00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:32,105
No, I have something for you.
386
00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:34,341
Your money.
387
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,509
No, no, I didn't mean all that.
388
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,645
You know, I was just
upset about everything,
389
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:40,113
and just give it to me
whenever.
390
00:19:40,113 --> 00:19:41,448
I have the cash right here.
391
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:46,252
But if you wanna stick it out,
see what happens,
choice is yours.
392
00:19:46,252 --> 00:19:48,388
Don't you think you've had
enough of that?
393
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,590
Well, maybe it's for the best.
394
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:52,726
It's not worth risking
our relationship
395
00:19:52,726 --> 00:19:54,361
over a few thousand dollars.
396
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,563
Okay then,
I accept your apology.
397
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:57,964
Thank you.
398
00:20:00,166 --> 00:20:03,336
And as a gesture
of gratitude and goodwill,
399
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,105
here's an extra hundred.
400
00:20:05,105 --> 00:20:07,140
No, really,
that's not necessary.
401
00:20:07,140 --> 00:20:09,509
Consider it a return
on your investment.
402
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:12,712
No, absolutely not, look,
I'll take the 5,000,
403
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,415
but whatever profit you made,
really, you deserve.
404
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,250
Okay, if you insist.
405
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,020
Well, we got
the whole enchilada.
406
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:23,456
Guess it's back to work, huh?
407
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,091
- Oh, good morning.
- Morning.
408
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,827
- Can I help you?
- I don't think so.
409
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,964
Miss Pedalbee, did you sign
all the necessary papers?
410
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,967
- Sure did, here you go.
- Thank you.
411
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:36,903
And here is your $25,000.
412
00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:38,738
Pleasure doing
business with you.
413
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:41,641
And I mean, real pleasure.
414
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:47,480
- Who's that?
- The diaper guy.
415
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,083
He liked the phone sex so much,
he bought the company.
416
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,551
What?
417
00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,720
I told you, you should've stuck
it out a little longer.
418
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,155
Ten seconds?
419
00:20:55,155 --> 00:20:56,856
Hey, business sense
is all timing.
420
00:20:56,856 --> 00:20:58,792
Some people have it.
Some people don't.
421
00:20:59,526 --> 00:21:01,361
Why does the law
always work for the guilty?
422
00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:02,762
Oh, by the way, Martin,
423
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:05,331
you know
of any good investment tips?
424
00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:23,616
All right, we're through.
31314
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