All language subtitles for Dream On (1990) S04E04 AI.en

I'm bored.

Where the hell have you been?

- Meandering.
- Well, welcome back.

By the way, I can't seem
to find the Zimmerman file, the
Murdoch file,

- or the Rabinowitz file.
- Oh, I got a new system.

- They're under "D."
- Why "D"?

'Cause they're dicks.

Fine. Have you seen
Julie Talbot's file?

She's under "C."

Just put the files back
the way they were!

When did they move you to
the dark end of the building?

That voice is very familiar.
Too familiar.

Dad?

Who else?

You like it this dark?

I feel like
I'm trapped in a well.

What are you doing here?

That's some way
to greet your father!

Hello, Mr. Tupper.
Welcome to the office.

- That's how you do it.
- Thank you.

Sorry, Dad. Hi.

Just-- What a surprise!
I mean, look at you.
You're-- you're in New York.

Yeah. I'm moving back.

You are?

That's great.
Great, really great.
But I thought you loved Florida.

A world of people
who are dead...

and yet alive.

All your friends are in Florida.

Couldn't stand the place
another minute.

Every time I went out,
I'd see your mother with
that Harry.

- Every time?
- Well, once.

I was coming out of Ketchie's,
and I saw them get onto a bus.

No, Florida belongs
to your mother now.

Me, I'm taking New York.

Why New York, Dad?

I mean, you always said it
smelled like Aunt Minnie.

Well, for one thing,
you're here.

By the way, is your ceiling
lower than all the others?

No. No, Dad.
It's a regular ceiling.
You know, it's standard height.

- I don't know...
- So, uh,

I guess I'll, uh,
make up Jeremy's room, right?
And you'll need a key.

Don't bother yourself.
I've already got
a place to stay.

Oh. Really?

I'm so disappointed,
I could cry.

That's great!
I mean, for you, I mean.

All right.
Where are we eating tonight?

- Uh... how about deli?
- Nah, I'm sick of deli.

Well, there's a great
Chinese place around the corner.

How about the Carnegie?

- The Carnegie is a deli, Dad.
- Fine by me.

It's starting again.

It's starting.

It's starting again!

All right, so I'll see you
this evening around 7:00.

Sure. Sure, Dad.
7:00 is perfect.

You know, I'll, uh--
I'm looking forward to it.

I'm fucked.
My father's moved to New York.

Hey, I know what it's like.
Ever since my ma's last divorce,

it's nothing but, "Toby,
I'm bored. Toby, I'm lonely.

- Toby, I'm so horny."
- Did I need to hear that?

Wait a second. Brainstorm!

Hello, Ma? You free tonight?

- I got you a date.
- What are you doing?

- Martin's dad.
- Don't, Toby, don't!

Shh, I'm on the phone.
I'll ask him.

- Where are we going?
- Don't. Hang up the phone.

- I was thinking ribs.
- Forget it!

- Oh, you're right.
Not a good first date food.
- No, no, no, no!

My dad, your mom,
it's just a bad idea.

Why?
Is something wrong with my mom?

No, no. It's just that she's...

It's just not a good idea,
so forget about it.
It's not gonna happen.

Fine. What does your dad
need new friends for?

After all, he's got you.

From now on,
your life's gonna be one long
father-son car trip. Forever.

Does your mom like Italian?

Oh, yeah.
You go out with those mobsters,
I tell you.

Yeah,
they used to give him this table
all by himself over at Tony's.

Six or seven times a night.
I'm not kidding ya.

You know, but the guy who really
impressed me? Carmine Gambino.

Ma, you're boring everybody.

He could eat
an entire steak with his feet.

He's like that guy from
My Left Foot, only with steak.

Oh, here. Allow me.

- Guy I used to know could stick
a whole orange in his mouth.
- So can I.

Does anybody see the waiter?

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
get him over here.

He looks like he's got
a flashlight in his pants.

You know, Toby,
you ought to go after him.

Ma, don't start with me.

Her sister's been married
four and a half times.

But no, this one, she's gotta
be a big shot career girl.

Some career. After ten years,
she's still a secretary.

- I'm a personal assistant.
- At least she's got a skill.

- Martin doesn't do anything.
- I'm an editor, dad.

- Okay? I make books.
- Bullshit. You don't make books.

Printers make books.
You read books. I read books.
Where's my paycheck?

- Nyahh!
- You're right, Dad.

You're right, you know, okay?
I don't do anything.

And you work for him.
Whoa, some career.

- Ma!
- Where did I go wrong?
She's got a good brain.

She could've been a croupier.

When Mr. Flashlight gets here,
order me a gun and two bullets.

You know,
when I was Martin's age,

I had a home, a decent job, and
an office you could stand up in.

Who wants more spumoni?

Boy, it breaks your heart
how things turn out, eh?

So, what do you say, Mick?

- You gonna take me home or what?
- Hey, it's my pleasure.

- Thanks for dinner.
- Yeah, thanks.

It was a delicious evening.

Hey, Martin.

She's single!

I'll keep that in mind.

Good night, Ma.

- Night, son.
- Good night.

Guess how much Martin makes.

- Dad, please!
- Geez, he's so touchy.

- That was dinner in hell.
- I think I grew a tumor.

You know, if they got hitched,
we'd be brother and sister.

Only in the broadest
legal sense.

I'd be Jeremy's aunt! Aunt Toby.

Hey, what's his pants size?

- Hey!
- For gifts!

Check, please.

What the hell is the matter
with that father of yours?

Do you know
what he did to my mother?

- What? What?
- Nothing!

He just dropped her off!
Like she had a rash or
some kind of patch on her eye.

My father's just been
through a rough divorce.

You can't expect him to
bounce right back.

Oh, so you're saying
he's playing hard to get?

No! No, what I'm saying is

he's still feeling a lot
of pain and vulnerability.

Listen, the last thing
he needs to do is

jump into another
relationship right away.

Oh, so what you're saying is
he's afraid he might not be able
to keep up with her sexually.

Let it go at that.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.

- Martin!
- Hey, Dad.

I just thought I'd drop by,
check out your new place.

Come on, come on,
you lousy bumya!

- Oh, I'm sorry.
Didn't know you had company.
- Oh, that's not company.

That's Roger. It's his place.
Come on.

I thought you had
your own apartment.

All right, yes!

Oh, don't tell me
that's a home run.

- Get out your wallet, loser.
You owe me 20 bucks.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Goddamn designated hitter
rule anyway.

You know, if this was 1956,
you'd owe me 20.

If this was 1956,
you would be able to see
your toes in the shower.

Hi, Roger.
I'm Martin.

So this is the kid!

Nice to see you, champ.

We don't shake hand no more.

How are you?

Dad, just,
I haven't seen you for a while.

Can I take you out
for a sandwich or something?

- Oh, no, no.
We wanna watch the other game.
- Yeah.

Oh. All right if I join you?

- Yeah, sure. Yeah, jump in here.
- Sure! Knock yourself out.

- Sorry.
- Excuse me.

- Oh, sorry.
- It's all right.

- Who's that guy?
- They got him from the Padres
for that Dominican kid.

Oh. What happened
to what's-his-name?

- Oh, yeah,
Mershach Mitzick.
- Right, right!

Sent to Tidewater when
they brought the lefty
with the split-finger fastball.

He pitched a perfect game
down in--

Hey, isn't that the guy
from the Ford commercial?

- Are we gonna talk,
or are we gonna watch the game?
- Sorry.

I brought you this plant.

- Shh!
- Shh!

He is, indeed, Jim...

Hey, I'm gonna get a cold beer.
You want one, Martin?

- It's kind of early.
- What, are you gonna operate
some heavy machinery later?

Okay. What the hell?

Get him a cold one
from the crisper.

So, Martin. Who do you like?

Washington and Valley Forge.

- Dewey and Manila.
- Napoleon and Josephine.

- What do you mean?
- Team. What team?
Mets or Yankees?

He's a Mets fan
like his old man.

So he's a loser
like his old man.

I'm just kidding you, Martin.
You're okay!

Here we go! Two cold beers.

You forgot the chips!
Excuse me, Martin.

Well, here's to the longer days
and the faster horses.

Who's Roger?

He's a friend of mine.
I met him down in Winter Park.

You know,
you could've stayed with me.

I mean,
this place is kind of small.

What do you know about small?

Compared to your office, this is
like the ballroom at the Ritz.

I'm talking about my apartment.
You know I got plenty of room.

I'm fine here.

Well, yeah,
but if you stayed with me,

we could, you know, spend
a little more time together.

We're spending time now.

Hey, don't try to slip me
any of those diet potato chips!

- They're good!
- They're not!
They taste like salty paper.

You're not wanted here. Go home.

That's right.

Oh, wait a minute!

Instead
he's staying in this tiny
one-bedroom apartment, you know?

- And I don't know, he'd rather--
Would you cut that out?
- Sorry.

Anyway, he'd rather spend time
with this Roger guy than me.

But you don't wanna
spend time with him.

I know, but I want him to
want me to spend time with him.

- So you can make some excuse
and blow him off?
- Right, like a normal family.

I don't know. Maybe he's mad
at me, you know? Maybe--

maybe I took my mom's side
too much in the divorce.

Maybe he's allergic to Scruffy.

- Who?
- Who?

Don't you have
a cat named Scruffy?

- When'd you get a cat?
- I don't have any cats.

What line is this?

Maybe he'd rather be
with someone his own age.

- You think so?
- Could be.

Or maybe they're lovers.

- Yeah, right.
- No, man. Think about it.

A lonely man in his 60s,
recently divorced,
looking for love?

Fuck you, okay, Eddie?

The love that dare
not speak its name?

Maybe its name is Roger.

Yeah? Well,
maybe your mom's a lesbian.

Hey, man.
Don't talk about my mama.

Hi, Dad. Did I miss anything?

Nah. Just the anthem.

Who's Malcolm-Jamal Warner?

You know who that is.

- Beer?
- Oh, real beer.

Wow. Give me one of these.

Oh, no, you don't.

- It's a light beer for you.
- Gay, isn't it?

I'm tired of drinking
that rainwater.
Can I have half of one of these?

All right. But no cake tonight.

Who are you, the president?

So, Martin, how's it hanging?

Fine, thanks.

- We're gonna have these again?
- Yeah.

Mickey, you got
a fuzzball on your face.

- What?
- You got a fuzzball
on your face.

What, you got another one
in your ear?

- Where? Did I get it?
- No. On the other side.

Oh, now come close to me, wifey.

Come close to me.

So, Roger,
you-- you ever been married?

No, I'm not the marrying kind.

Oh, Martin,
guess what we did today?

- Can't imagine.
- I bought him some slippers.

- No, after that.
- The golf.

Oh, yeah, you know, your dad,
that's like an old lady.

This guy spent so much time
in the sand trap, we might as
well be going to the beach.

Don't you listen
to this lousy cocksucker.

What was that word again?

No, that's a great place
you got here, Roger.

- How many bedrooms?
- Just one.

But this is a pullout.

No, it's not a pullout.

Hey, I'm finishing
this entire beer.

- Try and stop me.
- It's up to you.

I'm not the one who's
got to get into your pants.

Can I use your bathroom?

Oh, down the hall.
Knock yourself out.

- Grabowski's on the mound.
- Whoa.

- Didn't he pitch yesterday?
- Nah, last week.

He's beating that guy
with the bases loaded...

Man and wife?

Nope.

Both men.

- Very gay. Fuchsia and blue.
- Blue and who?

Me? I'm an oil man.

A very unusual oil man.

Well, wherever there's smoke,
there must be somebody smoking.

Wait till you see
the baby's room.

We've got Roy Lichtenstein
doing a mural on the ceiling.

- No kidding.
- And Richard's
bringing back a crib

in an Aboriginal tribe
hand-carved from back bush cork.

- I'm sure that's lovely.
- They say the luster
sparks creativity in the--

Judith, could you
just shut up, please?

Excuse me?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you know.
I'm just a little on edge
about my father.

And Roger.

Martin, I understand
that you're feeling

a little excluded
from your father's life.

- No, no, no, no,
that's-- that's not quite it.
- No, I think it is.

Your parents have split up
and are finding new interests.

Naturally you're gonna
be feeling a little jealous.

Believe me,
I'm not feeling jealous.

Well, that's what I'm sensing.

Well, sense this, Judith.
My father's gay.

- What?
- He's gay.

My dad's gay. Yeah.

And his boyfriend, Roger,
you know, he's gay too.

Okay, hold on here.
Just back up a second.

- When did he tell you this?
- He didn't tell me.

I had to figure it out
for myself from the light beer
and then the fuzzball and--

A very unusual old man.

Believe me. He's gay.

Okay, okay, let's just say
for a minute that he is gay.

Now, don't say that.
Don't say that.

- Why'd you have to say that?
- What do you want me to say?

- Want me to say
that he's not gay?
- Yes, yes, yes, I do.

Because he can't be gay.
And you know why?

Because he's my father.
And if my father were gay,
then I wouldn't be here, right?

And I know I'm here
because I can do this

and this and this
and this and this.

These shoes are suede.

Sorry.

Martin, I think you need
to speak to your father.

And don't you ever
tell me to shut up again.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,
the moment we've
all been waiting for.

Great. You're here. Let's eat.

Dad?

- Is Roger here?
- No, he's still at the track.

Good.
Because there's something I--

- Can we sit down?
- We'll be sitting down
in the restaurant.

No, no, come on, Dad.
I-- I just wanna talk.

Fine.

He wants to talk? Fine.

Talk. Knock yourself out.

Dad?

- I hope he doesn't
pay a lot for that jacket.
- Dad?

I was just wondering,
now, are you...

- ...going to be getting
your own place pretty soon?
- Let's go. I'm starving.

Okay, Dad.

I got to ask you, you know,
and I'm going to ask you.

Are you-- is Roger?

- Are you and Roger--
- It's 6:30.
We're never gonna get a table.

Dad, are you gay?

No, I'm not gay.

Geez, Dad. I'm sorry.

You know, I was just--
I don't know, I don't know.

You're gonna think
this is crazy, you know,

but I thought
you and Roger were...

sleeping together.

Well, if you're
gonna split hairs.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You are gay?

What? You check out a ball
player's butt once in a while?

Does that make you gay?

You look at an underwear ad
and get a little excited.

Does that make you gay?

You sleep with a guy once
or twice, maybe in the army.

Does that make you gay?

- Technically.
- Fine.

You wanna label me? Label me.

I'm gay. I'm a gay man. Happy?

No. No, no, no, I'm not happy.

I'm nowhere
fucking close to happy.

I mean,
what about your marriage?

What about mom?
And what about me and Susan?

Hey, I love you kids.
I love your mother.

I'd probably still be married if
it wasn't for that dope Harry.

- Okay, and that whole time
you were attracted to men.
- Not all men.

So your whole life
has been a lie, right?

- One big fucking lie.
- Hey, don't talk
to me like that!

- I'm still your father.
- Are you? I don't know.

- I don't know who you are.
- Yeah?

Well, that makes two of us.

Hey, I'm-- I'm winging this.

I don't know what I'm doing.

It's all new.

I'm moving to New York.

I'm living with a guy.

He's buying me slippers.

And I'm liking it.

Ah, geez.

Dad.

I'm sorry if I disappoint you.

No, no, no.
It's not that, you know.

I just...

I just wanna die.

I just want you to be happy.

Thanks.

Why did you pick me, Joey?

Don't you know
I'm the most unlikeliest daddy
in the whole army?

Hey, I hit the exact.
I won 247--

- I can come back.
- Hold it.

I told him.

You told him told him?

Wow.

Look at the balls on you.

Has he told you
how crazy I am about this guy?

Should we call Don "daddy" now?

Come on, get off me, will ya?

Are we still gonna eat?

No, he took two busses down here
to talk about your sex life.

Come on. Let's go.

Roger, would you
like to join us?

Martin, you that okay with this?

No.

No, no.

I was just trying to be polite.

That's okay. Enough said.

I don't think it makes
much difference whose father
can lick whose father.

There are many more important
problems in the world than that.

No, come on.

Come on,
I-- I really want you to.

All right, but it's my treat.

Compliments of Devil's Delight
in the Seven.

And Martin, one more thing.

Yeah, Dad?

Don't tell your mother.

Not a problem.