Original subtitles

The best stepdaughter ever.

This is rude.

So what's cracking? How'd your days go?

Nothing. It's actually a great day today. I got elected for class

What? I'm really excited. Yeah, I'm really, really happy about it, too.

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I know, right?

See, this is how you should be acting. This is a good role model.

Oh, what?

Yeah, she's class president. You didn't hear that?

That means that she's going to be a leader.

Okay, I don't care.

Yeah, that's what that means.

And you know what?

What is it with her and these fucking video games?

I don't know.

Huh?

Okay, you know what? You need to shut your fucking mouth, Dad.

Okay, I don't care what you have to say now. Leave her alone.

Okay, I'm going to go to my room. I don't even know why she bothered talking

you because she's fucking crazy. I wasn't done talking, so you can just

your brakes for a second.

Oh, my God. Are you fucking stupid? Respect your father. Stop.

No.

No. So that's what you brought up, too.

I want to hear more about this cook.

That's a big deal. She became class president. Yeah, you know what? I'm

excited about it. I worked really hard on my campaign, so just to show that my

hard work pays off really means a lot to me.

I'm excited to do all these cool things for the school.

What did you have to do to win?

Can we go?

Okay. No, stop.

She's trying to wait. Why are you so rude?

Okay, you know what? I don't even know how you two know each other or what's

going on. I'm not really paying attention, but she's my best friend.

to go to my room and play Barbie dolls, okay?

Barbie dolls? What the fucking fuck are you talking about?

You don't ever talk to me, you stupid son of a bitch dad. I don't ever want to

fucking see you or talk to you or hear your stupid rat to the ass voice again.

No, no,

no. This is not okay. We're going to your two -way room. What did I do wrong?

What the hell? I was just trying to talk to you.

Well, my daughter's officially crazy.

Well, hey, what's going on?

You're always more than welcome to come talk to me.

How have you been? I've been great. How about you?

I've been all right. Good.

So, do you have a boyfriend?

No, still not. How do you not have a boyfriend? You're amazing.

Thank you.

It's just, I'm really picky. I think that's what it is.

You're picky?

Yeah, now that I have this, like, class presidency, I don't really think that I

have time for a boyfriend.

You're not thinking about me, are you?

I mean, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about you.

Really? I think about you sometimes, too.

Oh, my goodness.

But what is up with Anastasia? Why is she acting so crazy lately?

Her mother's bipolar.

I think that might have... You know? You know what? She must be because she

doesn't act anything like you. Well, she's, uh... She's out of country, so...

Oh, my God.

I have to deal with this shit after she left.

Mm -hmm. So, yeah, I guess you're going to be spending the night.

Yeah, I am, actually.

So, we can, uh...

Anyways,

so congratulations on being president.

Thank you very much. You know what? I am done.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I did not come home from school so you can hit on my

best friend, okay? I don't know what's going on here.

No, I don't care, okay? I do not fucking care.

Okay, come on. Let's go, Eliza. Dad, don't ever talk to her again.

Or I will fucking grill your head on my barbecue. I have that right outside.

I am not worried, too.

No, no.

School was already hell. This is like the definition of Satan's lair, okay?

You are so fucking annoying. God, you know how bad I want to yell right now?

Because I am so close.

But the neighbors are right there. So what are you doing?

What are you doing? Don't look at her. Okay, look at me.

Hey, I'm the center of attention in this fucking house.

So you better pay attention and listen to that fucking whatever your name is,

dad. Cut.

Okay, mom junior.

Shut the fuck up, you stupid little bitch. Go on your toes with your

and video games.

Jesus Christ, that girl needs bipolar medication.

What the fuck?

Hey, guys.

Let's crack in.

I wanted to apologize.

I wanted to let you know that I was not flirting with your friend.

You know, she is beautiful. It's during grade school. I wasn't flirting with

her.

And I wanted to make sure we were cool.

We used to get along. I'm trying to be patient with you.

Yeah, we're cool. I just, I don't know. I can't figure this computer out. Can

you help me?

Oh, so now you're going to be nice.

Well, you could always hit the power button.

Oh, look at that. Magic.

Oh.

Yeah. That's magical, huh?

What? Thanks.

Still not working. So you're not going to tell Mom that I was flirting with

are you?

Nope. Huh?

Nope.

What are you doing?

Doing? Nothing. I'm not doing shit. Okay, I can't handle this right now. I

know what it is you guys are doing. We're not doing anything. I don't want

deal with this. I'm trying to still fix my computer.

Nothing's going on.

You need a pop of cheese.

No, I don't want a pop of cheese.

It makes no sense.

That's what we said back in the day.

Okay, do you put up your butt or something? Because that is...

You're silly. You gotta think I'm funny.

Would you stop looking at her weird?

This is really weird for me. I'm going to call mom if you don't stop.

No, you don't need to do that. He's not doing anything. My computer is still

broken. It won't type.

Like, look at that.

What did I do? Maybe someone disabled it.

Okay, you know what? I did not disable anything. I don't know how to even work

Excel. So how do you think I'm supposed to fix the computer?

Maybe it was me.

It's not typing.

Hello, my name is Walnut.

That's my password, but it's not working. So can you please help me?

I don't know what to tell you.

Just keep trying.

No, it's not working. And Mom's texting me. Should I tell her what you're doing?

What are you doing?

What are you talking about? Stop looking at her weird. I'm tired of this.

What are you doing? It's not typing. Let me help it.

What are you doing?

Stop.

What did I just see you do?

Nothing. I didn't do shit. What did I just see you do? She bumped into me. You

are fucking weird.

She bumped into me. Get out.

Please, just go. I've had enough of you. I'm not getting out. Please, no.

No, if you're not going to help me with my computer, it's still broken, then get

out. All right, I'll help you with your computer. Look, it's helping me. Come

on, give him a break. I don't know how to do this. It's not helping me type.

Why are you all so close to me, dude?

What are you talking about?

God, it won't tie.

Help me. I'm going to have an aneurysm.

What the fuck is going on here?

They do, do, I don't know.

Yes, we are Jewish.

Okay, so that's a reminder.

Mom is Jewish. You know that, right?

Yeah, I think I know.

I think my password is with heritage.

But I don't know.

What are you talking about?

I can't deal with this anymore, okay? You need to stop.

It's fucking weird.

Oh my gosh, should I tell mom what you're doing? Because I will text her

now. She's texting me.

I can, and I will. Hold on.

Okay.

Go ahead, I don't give a shit. She's probably cheating anyways.

She's meaner than you.

Oh, she said... What?

he doing now?

What should I say?

You should say why don't you just hang out with the bartender that she met on

the cruise she's on right now. I am going to text her because would you

No.

No. That is no. There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing. You help me with it

because I am going to have a tumor the size of a baseball bat.

Okay, I'll help you. Shut up.

So you happy now?

Uh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you for fixing my computer. By the way, I didn't text Mom

that, so you're good.

That's cool.

Okay, so off to the games.

So what are you doing over here?

Me? Playing games.

Yeah, I'm playing games.

I'm busy, don't talk.

I'm gonna watch you play though.

Okay, weirdo.

So you guys don't like ride bikes and shit like that anymore?

No, we quit that winter as well.

What? Yeah, we quit that a long time ago.

Why?

Because mountain biking and... Oh, it is raining outside, isn't it? And yeah,

plus the rain.

What's that noise?

I don't want to hear that.

There's nothing going on, apparently. Don't watch me play. I've been

in hanging together, but my credit card bill is ridiculous.

Yeah, same as mine, but mom always pays for it. No,

she doesn't pay for it.

Don't tell her that.

What's that?

The line is just right there.

Can I help you with something?

I'm just watching you play.

I'm interested in what you guys do.

It's really raining out there, isn't it? It's noisy.

I guess so.

It's coming down.

Coming real hard.

What was that?

What, Mom?

What? Nothing.

Mom didn't text me yet.

because you're supposed to be with them all the time.

What's that?

Focus. I'm trying to focus.

Why are you looking at porn,

Anastasia? Like, I'm sitting right here. What the fuck?

Oh, you think it's fun? You think it's cute?

That's really inappropriate.

Really is, isn't it?

I mean, I would never do that in front of my dad.

That's fucking crazy.

Well, you were busy over there, so I took my time.

Busy? Yep. You seem busy. I don't know what you're doing.

Well, I'm going to get going. Dad, what the fuck are you doing, Dad? What the

hell? Dude, no. Get the fuck out. Get out of here. You know what?

I'm not gonna waste my fucking time. I'm leaving.

Bye, you weirdo. I don't even know what's going on here. Bye.

Eliza, come on. We're here.

Why is she watching porn? What is going on here?

Fuck you.

I had that shitty belt and my pants fell down.

You guys have taken up the whole fucking living room. Come on.

I have to watch my shows.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm stretching.

You never exercise, buddy. You're exercising today. What the fuck is up?

And I know I'm not allowed to sit next to your friend, so... Oh, shut up, won't

you?

Huh? Shut up, won't you? I'm trying to stretch now.

You're ruining my zen.

Since when did you start stretching?

Since mom paid for my Pilates after school.

It

feels

really good.

I see that.

It feels really good too.

Something like that, yeah.

You need some help?

I know a little bit about stretching.

I'm not going to kick... She's a doll.

She's an angel. I'm not kicking her off the couch.

You're doing something productive, so I'm not going to fuck with you either.

So, I've got to ask you something.

Okay. We need to have a talk.

The elephant in the room. What about the porn the other day? Why were you

looking at porn?

Um, I wasn't looking at porn. I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm pretty sure you admitted to it when I caught you.

Okay, you know what?

That is my privacy, okay?

You have no right to go through all my stuff.

I didn't go through your stuff. I was standing around there. What the fuck are

you talking about?

Okay, you know what? Yes, I watched porn, okay?

But that doesn't mean that you can...

Just accuse me of watching porn. I looked at it, skimmed through it just to

what it was because I was curious.

I can be curious at this age. Come on, mom.

Why were you curious?

Well, I was curious because I saw you two, you know, doing the dirty.

Doing the dirty?

What are you talking about?

What the fuck is the dirty? Will you guys explain that to me?

That was...

A wiseacre look.

Yes, I saw and I was curious. Why not?

It's not bad if I'm, you know, experimenting with stuff.

What did you do? You just typed in porn and you were like, because I saw it.

Yes. It was just some company called... That's exactly what I did.

It was some company called Hoosie and all the... How do you know about this

stuff? Well... I didn't know about it either.

Well, I mean, I saw you too. Okay, don't lie to my face. You can't...

You can't just do that, okay?

Someone like me, your best friend, and your daughter, stepdaughter.

What kind of shit is that? Come on. Come on now. What do you expect me to do

when I saw you looking at porn?

What do you want me to say?

I saw mom and dad doing it because I did not.

So... What did you see us doing exactly?

Yeah, what did you see us doing? Well, I saw you kissing her and

you guys were...

Okay.

Why didn't you say that's the one you thought?

Well, I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to interrupt.

And it was gross, but I got me thinking things.

Thinking things?

Yes. Like what?

Why are you so curious, Eliza?

Well, you're the one that's curious, it sounds like. I can see what stretches

and stuff. That's what you mean. I don't think so.

What? Nope.

No, it's okay.

You sure?

Yeah, I'm good.

It doesn't matter.

Why do you keep testing me about it?

It's so aggravating. Maybe you did see me and her doing something.

Yeah, so?

It was actually what we do is a lot of fun.

Well...

happened so really nope well maybe you could join in

sometime wait what uh

what do you mean i didn't know you were getting down with the porn see she's

matured a little more maybe yeah i think so yeah me yeah well i

always have been i just don't like your face

That's not very nice.

Well, that's not my problem. Well, that's what I'm for. She can just look

the whole time. She can look at you.

What are we talking about here? What are we talking about here?

You mean I'm a narcissist?

I don't even know what that means.

A threesome, you idiot.

God, why does mom even put up with you?

I don't know. I don't understand.

I guess it's the reason you put up with me.

I make money.

Well, you do buy me whatever I want.

Bad idea.

You did buy me these nice shoes.

They're very cute.

What are you up to over here?

Thinking about how much fun the three of us can have together.

I don't know what you're talking about. You want to teach her a trick?

Yeah, let's do it.

So check this out. What trick? Why don't you stretch your lower back? I'll show

you something.

About what?

It's a surprise.

Don't ask any questions. Let's do it.

Okay. What is going on?

What's that?

I don't know what's going on, but okay.

Whoa, what the fuck is that?

What is going on?

I have no idea what's going on.

Well, you said you were curious.

Um, not like this.

Whoa, what are you doing to my dad?

Um,

okay.

She's really good at it. She's got a lot of practice.

It looks like you've done this before.

Wow.

Your best friend's got some experience.

But you guys can't say anything at all about this.

I cannot promise that. I'm sorry.

This is very conflicting.

What's conflicting?

Yeah, I don't know whether to applaud or to...

I'll cry.

I think she should try. What do you think? I think the answer is to join.

I think she should try.

Come on, I can teach you.

It's not like we're having sex or anything.

We're just messing around.

It'll give you practice for the other boys in school.

Aren't you talking to Cameron? Don't you think he's cute?

I don't know, Eliza. I mean, I think you'll really impress him if you give

good blowjob.

It'll be easier if you give him a good blowjob.

Just try. Just close your eyes. You don't even have to look at him. Just act

like it's Cameron.

Do I have to?

It's up to you.

Okay, fine.

Is that so bad?

I think she's going to like it.

I don't know.

This is really weird.

Like that?

Sorry.

It's so big, it's okay.

That's going to happen. Why don't you show her?

Let's hold her.

Let's hold her head and see what she can do to help her.

Show her the potions.

You just kind of go like this.

Exactly. And you suck.

Yeah. You're getting the hang of it. Try to give the tip to Hickey.

She's pretty good at that.

She's very good.

She's a fast learner, huh?

She is.

They're watching the porn.

Don't tell Mom about that.

Oh, yeah, now you're done. You can't say shit to Mom. You're just guilty.

Yep,

just like that.

Good job.

She's really good at this. Yes, she is.

She's a natural.

Deep as you can. What do you think?

You think she can go all the way?

I don't know.

I don't even know if she knows what all the way is.

Wow.

What do you think?

Not yet.

I think I need more practice.

I think so too. Really, huh?

She's so cute when she's sucking cock, right? She is.

Adorable.

She's good at that.

Yeah, she is. How about we actually pick this up a little faster, too?

Good girl.

Guess who's going to the mall today?

I'm going to buy you guys whatever y 'all want.

She started sucking harder after I said that. Yeah, she did.

I think it's my turn.

You're probably better than I am.

So like this?

You do that?

We better be.

Thank you.

It's hereditary, you mean.

Could be.

If I'm in school, I would know.

You know that.

We like sharing.

They say sharing is caring in school.

Mm -hmm. She's done this before.

She's done this before.

Yeah, well, she caught us.

Um, before what?

Nothing, nothing, I don't know.

Mm -hmm.

Sure.

Yeah See that lets you go in here right?

Don't all you girls know how to twerk?

Correction. Two out of every five women do.

Really? You know the statistics, huh?

Science major, duh.

That was really nice.

You have a bigger ass than my mom.

You're teaching her other things too.

That's crazy.

You should have told me this months ago. Otherwise I would have started doing

it. It's crazy we've got the house to ourselves.

I can change in a split second. Don't test me, dude.

Pre -cum.

I know what he's about to do

What the fuck was that?

What's in her mouth?

What is that?

Maybe it's better she doesn't know.

It tastes like sulfur.

It tastes like sulfur.

What is that?

I've heard bleach before, but I've never heard of sulfur.

Oh, me, no. So that's what you get for being a... God,

get the fuck out. No, I'm done. Nope, nope, nope, nope.

Bye. Sorry, I didn't know.

Get your sulfur -ass tasting cum out of here.

Oh, my God.

Bye.

Chill out. Keep it down.

I'm on a bed.

Do you guys like clean up the living room so I can come out and watch my

Fuck off, girl.

All right.

See you.

All right.

Wouldn't want to be you.

Wouldn't want to be you.

Dad! Dad!

Dad! Dad!

Dad! What the fuck is going on? Dad!

Dad!

Why are you guys dressed like this?

Well, we watch porn, so we want some dirty stuff

happening. You guys need to get some clothes on right now. Well, no one at

school. knows what they're doing okay so we don't know any guy who would so we

thought of you so we were watching porn and she had this marvelous idea that you

know why don't we practice some of this stuff on my dad and i thought it was a

good idea too so we called you in here and now you're gonna say yes right you

shouldn't tell her sorry

Best friends don't keep secrets.

What? No.

We're not getting dressed. I do not think so.

Okay, you know what? Bipolar runs in the family, remember?

That's what she said.

Yep.

Well,

why don't you pull on your pants and we'll show you.

How about you do it that way I don't have to say I did it. Okay. Because I

in a lot more trouble than you guys do from mom, so.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, so.

You guys are nervous.

Oh, no.

You're nervous.

I guess you don't know me as well as you thought you did.

these off because it's more fun with it off.

Yeah, hold her by her hair.

Your daughter tastes so good.

I think it's my turn if I can cough.

We're just doing it how we saw it in the porn.

Did you watch it?

Yeah, I did.

It looked like she liked it.

Yes, ma 'am.

It's good, it's good, it's good.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

um um

It won't be my first time.

I'll get it nice and wet for her day.

Thank you.

It's a dirty little girl, huh?

I like it.

Well, now you know.

The secret's been out.

Thank you.

Hmm.

It wasn't hard, huh?

like they do in those pornos. Are you sure about that? Yeah. Yeah.

Uh -uh, that's bad.

Okay, whatever.

Nothing to ask me twice.

Are you sure you guys want to do this?

Yes.

And your head's back.