Original subtitles

I'm glad you were available to come

to this singles mixer.

I just wanted to do something nice

to take your mind off Viscera.

I know you like her, and I also know

- it's not happening. - Why?

She's too serious about her career

to date her boss's son.

She won't poop where she eats,

which is a terrible metaphor,

and a shame because pooping and eating at the same time

is one of life's great pleasures.

I know why I'm here, Dad.

What about you?

Well, I'm here to make sure you don't hook up

with any of my sloppy seconds.

At least, not unwittingly.

So, let's see. That would be her,

her, him, him too,

her, him, that group over there,

- that barstool you're sitting on. - Ah!

Hello!

Ty, why don't you introduce me to your friend?

What?

Oh, sorry about my dad. I'm Ty.

Megaera. No need to apologize.

It was actually kind of smooth.

- Was it? - No, not at all.

So, what do you do?

Oh, um, I don't really like to talk about that.

Oh, no, I hate talking about my job so much

I don't even have one.

Not in a sad way,

more like a cool, idle-rich way.

I live on a houseboat.

Oh, that sounds kind of fun.

Really?

- What is happening? - We matched.

Time for the dragon to throw us off the barge.

Time for the dragon to what now?

Good morning, family!

You're looking at a man

who got very, very lucky last night.

Please tell your father about it in exquisite detail.

Well, after Meg and I tumbled off the barge

and I stopped screaming,

we got dinner.

So far, this amount of detail

is doing nothing for me.

We're taking things slowly.

- Now you've lost me entirely. - Hey, Ty.

Do you think you could help me with some city business tonight?

Oh, I have a date.

Oh.

But maybe I still can.

There's a lot of time in the day.

That's the thing, no one agrees

on how much day is in a day,

so people keep missing appointments.

I thought you and I could start watching the sunsets

to get a handle on it.

Do you need my help watching the sunset?

Yeah, at Poppy Peak.

But you have a date, so forget I mentioned it.

I might be able to move some things around.

Whatever, we can do it another night.

The sun sets every day.

At least, I think it does.

Dad, could you talk to me in the other room, please?

I hope it's the bathroom, because that's where I'm headed.

A message from the Social Secretary!

Uh, Dad left. It's just us here.

Well, I already did the trumpet noise,

so I'm just gonna say the thing.

The Royal Family of the Kingdom of Sebacea

regret to inform you that they have a plague.

So we will either have to reschedule your visit,

or, depending on the death toll,

cancel it permanently.

Did you say "plague"?

Mom, why did you say "plague"

the same way I would say "cake?"

Because the first god who shows up to a plague city

gets to claim credit for it,

and then the whole city cowers in fear

every time we go back.

That's not like cake.

So if you'll excuse me, Mama's got to go get paid.

Mind if I tag along?

Why?

The Sebaceans are fish people.

You might need a translator.

I speak a little glub-glub.

I should be fine.

All right, fine.

You're gonna be doing some high-level godding.

I want to see it.

I want to study the master at work.

Well, next time, lead with that.

Easily swayed by flattery exit.

Oh, yeah!

Who's a good girl?

Dad, you were so wrong.

Viscera is into me.

Just so I'm clear, is this a situation

where me being wrong is a good thing for you?

Because if it is, hooray!

You heard what she said.

She wants me to time the sunset with her.

Time the sunset?

That's a completely made-up activity.

It's on.

That's great. So, what's the problem?

The problem is I've got this new girlfriend, Meg.

Oh, God, I'm going to have

to break it off with her, aren't I?

Oh, I hate this.

I feel sick.

Son, what are you trying to tell me?

Are you monogamous?

What? Yeah, I guess.

Listen, I'll love you no matter what,

and I'm willing to accept your lifestyle.

I'd just rather not have to hear about it.

Fair people of Sebacea!

You must be wondering

why you've all been dying and/or getting very ugly.

Well, wonder no longer.

I, the goddess Queen Deliria,

have brought this plague upon you

because you have displeased me.

I've always looked like this,

so I'm good, right?

No, I erased your memory.

Yesterday, you were gorgeous.

I was?

That is... awesome!

Well, we didn't know which god we had upset,

but now that we do,

we can do something about it, right, guys?

Hold up a second, King August.

I just have a few questions.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

Just a little science.

What's your main source of drinking water?

Is it this pond?

Yes. Why do you ask?

Yes, why do you ask?

Because you're very close to displeasing me right now,

and I am in a plaguing mood.

I got a theory that plagues are caused

by something in poopy water.

Potentially the poop.

Well, stop having that theory.

You said you were going to study me,

and before that, you said you speak glub-glub.

Whatever it took to get you to bring me here.

Now I'm gonna figure out how plague works,

so it can be avoided in the future.

Why would you do

such a petty, vindictive thing?

Why do you think? For the glory. Duh!

Well, you do your little science,

but stay out of my way.

And if you give them even a hint

that I didn't cause this one, I swear I...

Hey! Are you gonna be a while?

Yes, we're going to be a while.

And you just got yourself

three more weeks of plague for interrupting.

Oh, Algus!

Stupid, stupid!

Why did you have to...

Well, everyone makes mistakes.

You'll get them next time, Algus!

Thanks for meeting me early.

Oh, I was happy to.

You know, my oracle told me

I was gonna meet a funny guy on a barge.

Actually, get this, she said "a keeper."

Ooh, isn't that amazing?

Yeah... About that.

- Is everything alright? - No, I mean, yes.

I mean, there's something I need to...

Oh, my God.

Hold on. I cannot believe he's here.

- Who? - I'm so sorry.

I need to take care of this real quick.

Seth! I see you!

You think you can enjoy a nice meal?

You can never escape me!

I am relentless.

I am unforgiving.

Wherever you go, whatever you do,

I am your personal destruction.

The only way to make it stop is to kill yourself.

Do it! Do it now!

He's thinking about it.

I'm sorry. Are you...

I'm a Fury.

So sorry to have to work on our date.

I hate people who do that.

So your job is to...

To torment men. Yeah.

When a guy messes up with a woman, she'll call us,

and we torment the guy until he kills himself.

Which you really should consider!

So, anyway, that's why I don't really like

to talk about it early in a relationship.

The Fury energy tends to intimidate guys,

and sometimes I kind of can't quite...

...shake it off right away!

You know? It kind of wants to...

...hang on a little!

But you're not intimidated, are you?

Did you say there was something you wanted to talk about?

Nope.

She's a Fury. Megaera's a flippin' Fury.

I need everyone to drop everything

and help me deal with this.

I don't see a problem.

I've always wanted to be ravaged by a Fury.

I was gonna break up with her

so I could watch the sunset with my dream girl.

I can't do that now. She'll fury me.

I can't handle getting furied.

No one can.

Exactly, which means I really can't.

What the hell do I do now?

This one's easy.

Get her to dump you. You're great at that!

Thank you, but not this time.

She likes me. Her oracle said I'm a keeper.

Okay, okay, I've got it.

I am the all-seeing oracle.

I've got one eye and it sees everything.

Probably because I'm breathing volcano fumes all day.

That's a scuttlebutt on oracles.

They're basically just hallucinating.

I'm gonna pretend to be an oracle

and tell her not to date you.

I don't know, Stupe. Feels risky.

You are getting very sleepy.

That's hypnosis.

Is this your card?

That's magic. Any other ideas?

You go see Viscera.

Daddy will take care of it.

I wing-manned one suitor into Megaera's life,

I can do it again.

And I still got that Oracle plan

in my back pocket, and I'm feeling very spooky.

That's a ghost, Stupe.

So, are we gonna keep playing

Watermelon-Axe-Mouth or what?

Oh, good, you're here.

Wouldn't miss it. Though, I should warn you,

I'm technically not single. Yet.

Wait, what? Warn me?

Nothing. No, I didn't.

I was just saying... I love to just say.

It's very grounding.

Okay, weirdo.

Let's get started before we lose more light.

Wait, we're actually measuring the sunset?

God, I'm hungry.

Give me your hand.

For measuring.

Just because I'm a hungry cannibal

doesn't mean I want to eat you.

I brought snacks. Here.

I'll hold this counter

and you slowly close your fingers

as the sun sets.

And you're saying this is the only way

to tell time?

Only way I could think of.

So, are you settling in okay,

making friends?

Well, I did make one friend.

She was just telling me she met a guy she really likes,

but isn't sure she should tell him.

Okay, I think I get it.

Is it because your "friend"

doesn't know if he feels the same way?

- Exactly. - Well,

I can tell you for certain, he does.

How do you know that?

Oh, damn, we screwed it up.

I guess we'll have to come back again tomorrow night.

Right, too, because we...

Jerky?

What kind?

- Meg. - Oh, Shlub, what are you doing here?

Why don't you introduce me to your friend?

- Huh? - What's up, Meg?

I'm Broseidon.

As in, nephew of Poseidon.

Yes, that Poseidon.

But I'm my own guy. I've been working on that.

Oh, sorry. I couldn't really hear you

over all the alarm bells going off in my head. What was that?

Okay!

A feisty one.

Me likey feisty.

Broseidon, did you have something to tell Megaera?

Right, yes.

Speaking of dads,

your father, man, he must be a thief,

because he stole the stars

and he put them in your eyes, baby.

My father is Hades.

Dang! So those are probably, like...

What? People's skulls in there?

You are stupid.

Oh, man, and you are so scary.

I love it when women are mean to me.

I'm seeing you in a vision.

The vision is caused by volcano fumes.

I see an ocean,

but specifically not a houseboat.

And a guy... Okay, wow, this is crucial,

with a ponytail on his chin.

She's describing you.

Okay, but, like,

is she coincidentally hallucinating exactly me

while not seeing me right in front of her, or...

Let's have whatever takeaway feels right and move on.

May I present to you,

for your pleasure,

the world-famous Sebacean Chorus!

Your plague took out everyone but the bases.

Oh, they're terrible, but I do like how you said it was my plague.

Don't forget that.

Now, let's talk about my temple.

Can I have everybody's attention, please?

I'm looking for a volunteer

for some experiments I'm gonna be doing

on the causes of plague.

The causes of plague?

Full disclosure,

this will be extremely dangerous,

but you just might save your city.

Oh, Hippocampus, that reminds me.

I wanted to tell you...

Give it up, you little creep,

or I shall crush you into a paste.

Nice. Unfortunately for you,

I'm a scientist,

so it's my job to figure out the truth.

The truth? Who cares?

- Anyone? - I'll do it.

Scrumbo...

I got nothing left to lose.

And if I'm gonna go out,

I'd rather do it helping.

No, no, no.

Healthy. Guess I should have specified.

Thought it was clear.

I believe plague may be caused

by something that grows in poopy water.

Not any act of any god,

just normal poopy water.

What?

Are you saying we should be kissing the water's ass

instead of Deliria?

How would we kiss water's ass?

We'll find a way.

Goddess wrath!

You can't silence the tr...!

Now, where were we?

This next song is just for the lovers.

I figured out what I was doing wrong last time.

I needed a little help from the earth vapors,

if you know what I mean.

I am an incredible wingman,

and everything is going fine without you.

This is fun,

but I feel bad about Ty.

He's a really genuine guy, and I don't want to hurt him.

You're a good woman, man.

But you have to promise me when we break up,

you're gonna give me hell.

Because I feel that, deep down,

that's the kind of treatment I deserve.

Of course, Broseidon.

Of course.

But first, I have to break up with Ty.

She's gonna break up with you!

I saw it! In her vision!

And in real life!

Oh man, I got to hide.

These volcano fumes are wild.

Megaera!

Ty, listen, you're a really great guy,

but I don't think this is gonna work out.

I met someone else.

Oh, no.

I'm sad, but I understand.

It was kind of nuts.

We just had such a connection,

and this crazy oracle said something.

I told you it would work.

Is that the oracle?

Shlub? What...

Did you plan all this?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.

Anyone want to hit the volcano with me?

Fumes? No? It's possible I have a problem.

You made up a whole scheme with your family

so I'd break up with you?

How insulting is that!

I was worried you'd be upset if I ended things.

You thought I'd be upset after two dates?

Well, in my defense, you do seem pretty upset.

I'm not mad you broke up with me,

I'm mad you did it like a two-faced

weaselly coward!

If you could just calm down for a second

we can talk about this.

Calm down?

That's it, I am officially submitting your Fury ticket.

Ya Furied!

And with this drop of blood,

I consecrate this stone in the name of Deliria,

which will be one of the thousands of stones...

You're saying the tallest structure

- in the world? - Yes.

Millions of stones

forming the great temple of Deliria.

And you're saying each one

has to be consecrated in my blood?

Oh, I don't know. How much blood do things typically have?

I don't think enough for a million stones.

Ah!

Oh!

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Proving that this water is causing the plague

when I infect myself.

Look, Scumbo! Look what he's...

You would have liked it, I bet.

You punny little rat.

I wonder where I'll start.

Phantom itch? Untreatable urinary infection?

You are very good at this.

I know I am. You aren't just messing with a Fury.

You are messing

with a three-time Fury of the month.

Just jump, Ty.

You'd save us both a lot of trouble.

I could be home in time for dinner.

Ah!

You already took the coward's way out once.

Why not do it again?

Coward!

Coward!

Coward!

I know. I know I am.

I was too afraid to have an awkward break-up conversation with you.

You're absolutely right.

I am a coward.

What did you do?

Nothing, I just said you're right.

Stop doing that!

I'm sorry?

No, don't be.

This is where I tear you down and make you feel like garbage.

But I already feel like garbage.

I sort of always do.

I know I'm scared

and I'm an idiot around women,

and I'm ashamed of that.

Which makes you impervious to Fury.

I mean, it's terrifying, but I'm not gonna kill myself.

Oh, I'm... I'm not mad anymore.

Not even a trace of it.

Wild.

Maybe I was just hungry.

Well, great.

So, friends?

Oh, no. No, no, no.

But I am, however, going to do some cardio.

You stop that right now.

Uh-oh. Are you worried I'm gonna get sick?

Possibly because you don't cause plagues

and something else does?

Of course not. I just don't want you

to stink on the ride home.

Hope I don't get deformed from something you didn't do.

Oh... Oh!

Oh, God! What did I do?

Mom, it was a game of chicken!

You were supposed to stop me!

Calm down.

No-plague zap.

You saved me!

You can actually cure this thing?

You should know there aren't

a lot of things I can't kill.

And whatever plague is seems to be very, very small.

Y'all saw it was the water, though, right?

Who cares what it was?

Deliria fixed it!

All hail Deliria!

All hail Deliria!

I got to hand it to you, Mom.

I did see a master at work.

You stopped me from getting any glory,

and you still have your plague worshipers.

Are you kidding? Cure worship is nothing.

It lasts a few days, tops.

I didn't get into this

for random admiration once in a while.

I'm in the fear business.

This place is kicked.

Well, maybe they'll start pooping

in their drinking water again.

Stop trying to make me feel better.

All hail Deliria, savior of the...

Oh, shut up.

Okay, 79 Krapopolis.

Oh, good. I was worried I'd missed you.

80 Krapopolis, 81 Krapopolis, and it's down.

So, work is done.

Perfect timing. You want to get a drink?

You know, I would, but I can't tonight.

My friend just went through a bad breakup

and she wants to blow off some steam.

- Hey, Vis. - Don't hurt me.

Oh, whoa.

Why would she hurt you?

Oh, my God!

You're the guy!

Oh, yeah, he's the guy.

- And you guys are good friends. - Yep.

You're not gonna talk about me, are you?

"You're not gonna talk about me?" I mean, come on, we're girls.

Oh, yeah, big time.

Hey, um, could you maybe

not tell anyone you stopped a Fury?

Or at least, like, not how, right?

It's just, like, my whole job

is to get guys to kill themselves.

So if word gets out, you know what I'm saying?

I understand.

And the prince honored her request,

which is why the knowledge of how to stop a Fury

was lost to man forever.

Also why, ironically enough,

no man to this day has truly owned his cowardice

- or apologized for his... - Hey, when you're done...

Are you serious, David?

What? Oh, were you recording?

In my recording studio with the door closed,

was I recording?

Jeez, you don't have to be a...

A what? No, say it.

Am I inconveniencing you, David,

doing the job that pays our rent?

For the cramped apartment we had to move into

because you murdered that guy? Sorry.

What did you just say?

Accidentally murdered.

- Get out! - I shouldn't have said that.

- I said get out! - Okay, okay!

Which is why no man to this day

has ever apologized for his transgressions.

I'm gonna murder you, David!

I said I'm sorry!

I'm sorry, I'm sor...!

Hey, sis. How you doing?

Those vapors were strong.

I shouldn't have gotten near them.

But yeah, I'm okay now.

You know, Dad's an expert in this kind of thing.

If you need help coming down from it or anything.

No, I'm good. But good looking out, bro.

Of course.

The Society of Oracles is aware

that you've been impersonating us.

Oh, shoot.

You already know where I'm gonna hit you!

As do you. A worthy adversary indeed.

I'm anticipating every blow.

I'm a real oracle!

Oh, I almost forgot.

Not now, Hippo.

I'm being inducted into the Society of Oracles.

I'll go get Dad.

Did you get any of that?