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1
00:00:30,673 --> 00:00:33,949
Ladies and gentlemen, the seatbelt
light has been switched off.
2
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:36,103
You are now free to
move around the cabin.
3
00:00:36,193 --> 00:00:39,708
We've reached cruising altitude
and are flying over the French Alps.
4
00:00:41,753 --> 00:00:43,869
Sorry, man.
5
00:00:47,393 --> 00:00:51,181
It's nothing to do with you!
It's the vibrations, innit?
6
00:00:51,273 --> 00:00:52,752
Mm, yeah.
7
00:00:54,353 --> 00:00:55,502
Fuck off, homo.
8
00:00:55,593 --> 00:00:59,745
- You gonna be this horny the whole trip?
- Just wait till we get there. Oh, man.
9
00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:04,543
Those Russian peasant babes will do
anything for some Levi's and a Big Mac!
10
00:01:04,633 --> 00:01:06,589
Ok, everyone. Listen up.
11
00:01:06,673 --> 00:01:12,225
Right, I want you all to remember
that this is not a holiday, ok?
12
00:01:12,313 --> 00:01:16,670
This is your chance to nail your
module one history coursework...
13
00:01:16,753 --> 00:01:19,313
post-Soviet industrial Russia.
14
00:01:19,393 --> 00:01:20,712
It's a chance of a lifetime, gang.
15
00:01:20,793 --> 00:01:22,670
Whoopee
16
00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:27,668
Now, this isn't just education,
yeah? It's total education.
17
00:01:27,753 --> 00:01:30,586
Total piss up.
18
00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:33,506
Uh, no, no, no, no.
There'll be no "piss up", ok?
19
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,790
We're gonna work hard,
understanding the culture and history
20
00:01:36,873 --> 00:01:40,263
of Mokshovkov in the Mordovian
Republic of the Russian Federation.
21
00:01:40,353 --> 00:01:43,743
Ok? We're gonna see
the real Russia, yeah?
22
00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:48,509
The wild and desolate land that
Napoleon and Hitler failed to tame.
23
00:01:48,593 --> 00:01:53,223
This is adventure, yeah? This
is living, breathing history.
24
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:54,905
Who's with me?
25
00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:03,550
Thank you, sir. I was
addressing history students only.
26
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:12,626
- This trip will blow their minds, and yours.
- Great.
27
00:02:12,713 --> 00:02:15,785
Oi, An, An. Where'd you
hide the drugs, then?
28
00:02:15,873 --> 00:02:19,582
- I thought you were bringing them.
- No. You were gonna put 'em in your turban.
29
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,392
I don't wear a turban, Chris.
30
00:02:22,473 --> 00:02:24,304
I thought you were
gonna get one especially!
31
00:02:24,393 --> 00:02:27,465
Don't panic, boys.
We've got a back-up plan.
32
00:02:28,833 --> 00:02:30,266
Urgh, not up his arse?
33
00:02:33,953 --> 00:02:35,068
Christ.
34
00:02:35,153 --> 00:02:36,142
Jeez.
35
00:03:02,553 --> 00:03:03,702
Thanks.
36
00:03:11,193 --> 00:03:12,785
What's happening?
37
00:03:13,953 --> 00:03:15,671
They think he's a fucking terrorist?
38
00:03:15,753 --> 00:03:18,347
- Where they gonna take me?
- Do something.
39
00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:20,708
- Right, ok. Leave it to me.
- Tom, maybe I should...
40
00:03:20,793 --> 00:03:22,431
No, no, no. I'm trip leader.
41
00:03:22,513 --> 00:03:25,425
If anyone's gonna be anally
searched, it should be me.
42
00:03:25,513 --> 00:03:27,629
Trip leader. Let me through.
43
00:03:32,873 --> 00:03:34,352
Nyet!
44
00:03:34,513 --> 00:03:35,741
Get the fuck off me!
45
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:39,508
No, sorry, sorry. Listen,
listen! That boy is in my charge
46
00:03:39,593 --> 00:03:42,790
and I can give you my
personal guarantee that...
47
00:03:42,873 --> 00:03:43,828
Ah.
48
00:03:43,913 --> 00:03:46,473
Oh, I see. Ok.
49
00:04:05,553 --> 00:04:07,783
No, no, no. I've given you everything.
50
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:09,784
Ahh! There's nothing fucking up there!
51
00:04:09,873 --> 00:04:11,864
No... ok, ok, ok.
52
00:04:15,913 --> 00:04:19,952
That's totally stereotyping. You
gonna let them get away with it?
53
00:04:21,993 --> 00:04:22,948
Now what?
54
00:04:23,033 --> 00:04:24,625
Just walk on.
55
00:04:24,713 --> 00:04:27,944
I'm trying
- they just look so disappointed I'm not a terrorist.
56
00:04:28,033 --> 00:04:31,503
Well, you're a very dull
Muslim, Anwar. Very dull indeed.
57
00:04:31,593 --> 00:04:33,424
ROAR OF AIRPLANE ENGINES
58
00:04:33,513 --> 00:04:36,391
Excuse me.
59
00:04:37,433 --> 00:04:39,822
Uh, hello, excuse me.
60
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:43,189
Hello, hi. Uh, we're
looking for our bus.
61
00:04:44,273 --> 00:04:49,711
Um, we had an arrangement, uh,
for a bus to, uh, Mokshokov.
62
00:04:49,793 --> 00:04:52,910
- Mokshokov?
- Um... How can I put this? Um...
63
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:56,872
- We ordered a bus.
- Ahh!
64
00:05:27,473 --> 00:05:31,307
Ugh. Bet you never thought you'd
be doing this last week, eh?
65
00:05:33,353 --> 00:05:34,468
No.
66
00:05:49,033 --> 00:05:51,103
Fucking hell. This place better be good.
67
00:05:51,193 --> 00:05:55,266
My hair is destroyed. I need a
shower and a decent hairdryer.
68
00:05:55,353 --> 00:05:58,629
Oh, great, Tom. We're
staying in a fucking prison.
69
00:05:58,713 --> 00:06:00,305
Don't judge a book by its cover.
70
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:04,511
This trip is all about
understanding other people's culture.
71
00:06:04,593 --> 00:06:05,742
Hello!
72
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,312
Dobry den.
73
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:19,065
- Ya, Tom Barkley. And you are...
- Irene Kovskaya. Translator.
74
00:06:19,153 --> 00:06:21,747
Come! I lock you in!
75
00:06:31,153 --> 00:06:33,269
Ok, it's two to a room.
76
00:06:33,353 --> 00:06:35,389
So pair up, people!
77
00:06:35,473 --> 00:06:39,466
Raas! Russia's big, bruv!
Me's gonna be hyped up.
78
00:06:39,553 --> 00:06:44,069
No, it's same sex only, I'm afraid.
So rearrange yourselves, yep.
79
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:47,431
Spoilsport.
80
00:06:47,513 --> 00:06:49,424
Come, come.
81
00:06:49,513 --> 00:06:56,146
- And we are going to be roomies, I'm afraid.
- What?
82
00:06:56,233 --> 00:07:00,351
Yeah. Budget couldn't stretch
to single lodgings so...
83
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:02,708
We'll make ourselves comfy, yeah?
84
00:07:02,793 --> 00:07:03,987
Yeah?
85
00:07:12,873 --> 00:07:14,829
I pushed and pushed but still nothing.
86
00:07:14,913 --> 00:07:19,031
What the fuck are we gonna do
here without any drugs? Look it it.
87
00:07:19,113 --> 00:07:22,105
Don't blame me if
I've got guts of steel.
88
00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:27,313
Dunno why you came anyway.
You don't even do history.
89
00:07:27,393 --> 00:07:29,588
I thought it would be uplifting.
90
00:07:37,953 --> 00:07:39,386
Let me have a go.
91
00:07:48,753 --> 00:07:50,027
Cheers, man.
92
00:07:50,113 --> 00:07:52,786
Magic fingers.
93
00:07:55,593 --> 00:07:57,345
What the fuck?
94
00:07:57,433 --> 00:07:59,663
What?
95
00:08:02,393 --> 00:08:04,111
"Bad mood-comfy jim jams"?
96
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:07,583
What? You try arguing with a
45-year-old Pakistani woman, then.
97
00:08:09,313 --> 00:08:11,224
Did she pack you these as well?
98
00:08:11,313 --> 00:08:14,191
No, but she packed me this.
99
00:08:16,633 --> 00:08:19,989
Seriously impressive, man.
100
00:08:20,073 --> 00:08:24,430
- Must have taken ages.
- You can have it, if you want.
101
00:08:26,113 --> 00:08:27,671
Cheers.
102
00:08:28,313 --> 00:08:29,462
Dinner.
103
00:09:06,673 --> 00:09:09,392
Wank or tell group?
104
00:09:12,833 --> 00:09:17,349
Wank or tell group?
105
00:09:19,753 --> 00:09:21,106
Ah, tell group!
106
00:09:45,113 --> 00:09:47,786
Guys, guys!
107
00:09:47,873 --> 00:09:50,706
I've seen boobs! A girl with boobs!
108
00:09:50,793 --> 00:09:53,261
God, that's pathetic, Anwar.
109
00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:56,390
No. You wanna see this, though!
She's got a big chopper as well.
110
00:09:56,473 --> 00:09:57,428
Oh, my God!
111
00:09:57,513 --> 00:09:58,946
I wanna see that.
112
00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:02,230
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys,
guys, what about your dinner?
113
00:10:02,313 --> 00:10:04,952
You don't wanna look at
the girl with the boobs?
114
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,944
Nah. I prefer Welsh women.
115
00:10:20,873 --> 00:10:24,343
She was there a second
ago. She was there.
116
00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:30,311
She'll come back. She
was just there, I promise!
117
00:10:30,393 --> 00:10:33,988
Tell us when the Spice
Girls turn up, too, yeah?
118
00:10:34,073 --> 00:10:35,904
Piss off.
119
00:10:35,993 --> 00:10:39,747
She was there. She had boobs.
120
00:10:39,833 --> 00:10:41,425
Yeah, whatever, man.
121
00:10:44,593 --> 00:10:46,185
What you doing?
122
00:10:46,273 --> 00:10:49,583
Looking for your "Sexy Saturday
Night Leopard Skin Thong."
123
00:10:49,673 --> 00:10:51,152
We're going out on the pull.
124
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,349
- Make sure you don't bring anyone back.
- Huh?
125
00:10:53,433 --> 00:10:55,025
We are sharing a room Max, yeah.
126
00:10:55,113 --> 00:10:57,229
I don't wanna have to
pretend to be asleep
127
00:10:57,313 --> 00:11:00,430
while you're doing whatever you
do with some big Cossack guy.
128
00:11:00,513 --> 00:11:02,947
Maybe you can tempt your
big-boobed peasant girl in here.
129
00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,546
Have a bit of party, you know?
130
00:11:04,633 --> 00:11:09,946
Seriously, I don't wanna have to be
stuck around watching you do a guy.
131
00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,624
Can I bring a girl back?
132
00:11:15,513 --> 00:11:18,186
I could, couldn't I? You're shit, Anwar!
133
00:11:18,273 --> 00:11:20,423
Have you ever tried being with a girl?
134
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:23,073
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Well, have you?
135
00:11:23,153 --> 00:11:24,222
Well, have you ever
tried being with a man?
136
00:11:24,313 --> 00:11:26,065
No! Don't be sick.
137
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,030
You calling me sick?
138
00:11:28,113 --> 00:11:30,308
No!
139
00:11:30,393 --> 00:11:32,748
I dunno what I think, yeah.
140
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,027
I'm just a Muslim.
141
00:11:34,113 --> 00:11:36,627
Gay's... just wrong.
142
00:11:41,793 --> 00:11:43,943
Then you don't want
anything to do with me.
143
00:12:11,233 --> 00:12:13,110
- All right, Max?
- No.
144
00:12:13,193 --> 00:12:14,421
Why?
145
00:12:14,513 --> 00:12:17,471
Well, Anwar's decided
to become a Muslim.
146
00:12:17,553 --> 00:12:21,307
What, like, more Muslim
than he was already?
147
00:12:21,393 --> 00:12:23,463
A bit more Muslim, yeah.
148
00:12:23,553 --> 00:12:24,668
Oh.
149
00:12:24,753 --> 00:12:27,392
So I need to sleep in here, ok?
150
00:12:27,473 --> 00:12:30,590
Fine. Sid'll swap. You
don't mind, do you, mate?
151
00:12:30,673 --> 00:12:33,028
No, it's cool.
152
00:12:36,113 --> 00:12:38,229
Maybe take your bag, too?
153
00:12:50,593 --> 00:12:51,628
Thanks.
154
00:12:52,713 --> 00:12:55,432
What happened?
155
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:58,664
He's just, like, switched
about me being... You know.
156
00:12:58,753 --> 00:12:59,868
Blond?
157
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,352
- No!
- Short?
158
00:13:01,433 --> 00:13:02,866
Gay!
159
00:13:05,193 --> 00:13:06,342
Shall I give you head?
160
00:13:06,433 --> 00:13:08,469
- What?
- It'll cheer you up.
161
00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:09,872
For fuck's sake.
162
00:13:09,953 --> 00:13:12,183
You're supposed to be a friend,
and I've come here with a problem.
163
00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:18,549
- You fuck!
- We're in Russia. I wanna try something new!
164
00:13:18,633 --> 00:13:22,706
I'm not a hobby, Tony. You're
not taking up canoeing here!
165
00:13:22,793 --> 00:13:24,146
I've been canoeing.
166
00:13:24,233 --> 00:13:26,701
- Well, what about Michelle?
- Loves canoeing.
167
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:29,307
- Tony!
- Fine.
168
00:13:31,473 --> 00:13:32,747
What you doing?
169
00:13:32,833 --> 00:13:35,028
I'm gonna get an early
night. Coming to bed?
170
00:13:40,913 --> 00:13:45,225
Hey, Max. Can you give me and
Tony some time alone, please?
171
00:13:45,313 --> 00:13:47,463
No. Yeah, Sure. Sorry.
172
00:14:02,913 --> 00:14:04,949
Don't come in, Tom.
173
00:14:05,033 --> 00:14:06,068
It's Chris.
174
00:14:06,153 --> 00:14:08,542
Chris.
175
00:14:08,633 --> 00:14:11,784
I'm changing. You ok?
176
00:14:11,873 --> 00:14:13,192
Can't sleep.
177
00:14:13,273 --> 00:14:16,424
Well, have you got a book?
178
00:14:16,513 --> 00:14:18,265
Why would I have a book?
179
00:14:18,353 --> 00:14:20,344
You're a student.
180
00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:23,345
But we don't need books for
your sort of thing, do ya?
181
00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:27,028
Psychology. It's all
in your head, innit!
182
00:14:27,113 --> 00:14:30,230
Let me in and I'll show
you my reverse-psychology.
183
00:14:30,313 --> 00:14:31,712
No.
184
00:14:31,793 --> 00:14:32,828
Fine. I'll go away then.
185
00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:33,868
All right.
186
00:14:36,993 --> 00:14:38,745
Very clever.
187
00:14:41,273 --> 00:14:44,026
So what do you want?
188
00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:46,989
Just wanted to see you.
189
00:14:49,593 --> 00:14:51,106
Ok.
190
00:14:51,193 --> 00:14:53,388
And, er, maybe a goodnight kiss.
191
00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:56,102
Hope you're decent!
192
00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:57,421
Wait a minute!
193
00:15:07,793 --> 00:15:10,512
Ok. Come on in.
194
00:15:21,873 --> 00:15:23,431
Tom. You're staring.
195
00:15:26,073 --> 00:15:27,506
Was I?
196
00:15:29,593 --> 00:15:31,231
- Tom!
- Sorry.
197
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,749
Well, I'll be over there.
198
00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:38,028
If you need me.
199
00:15:41,433 --> 00:15:42,388
You ok?
200
00:15:42,473 --> 00:15:43,701
Yes, um...
201
00:15:44,753 --> 00:15:45,947
I'm sweet as a nut.
202
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:48,547
I bet you are.
203
00:15:54,233 --> 00:15:55,746
Tom, what are you doing?
204
00:15:55,833 --> 00:15:57,630
Squat thrusts.
205
00:15:57,713 --> 00:16:00,546
97,96
206
00:16:00,633 --> 00:16:05,388
95, 94, 93, 92,
207
00:16:05,473 --> 00:16:08,306
91, 90...
208
00:16:36,793 --> 00:16:38,670
Oh, my God.
209
00:16:48,153 --> 00:16:50,269
Sid! Quick!
210
00:16:51,193 --> 00:16:52,546
Still nothing...
211
00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:55,830
She's back! In a bra and pants!
212
00:16:55,913 --> 00:16:57,869
What? Pretend Spice?
213
00:17:02,993 --> 00:17:06,144
You know sometimes, people
wanna see something so badly
214
00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:10,067
they actually start to imagine
they have seen something?
215
00:17:50,273 --> 00:17:52,582
Wakey-wakey!
216
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:56,187
Hour for cleansing.
217
00:17:56,273 --> 00:17:59,629
Girls first clean, then boys clean!
218
00:17:59,713 --> 00:18:01,863
There is no fucking way I am doing that!
219
00:18:08,153 --> 00:18:11,828
All right, Max? Man, Sid's
farting last night was rough.
220
00:18:13,953 --> 00:18:14,908
Just take it back.
221
00:18:16,193 --> 00:18:17,945
Take back what you said.
222
00:18:21,513 --> 00:18:23,185
See you.
223
00:18:33,673 --> 00:18:34,628
Shit!
224
00:18:36,993 --> 00:18:39,905
It's an experience. Come on.
225
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:42,871
Come on.
226
00:18:42,953 --> 00:18:45,672
Where's your shampoo?
Where's your shampoo?
227
00:18:48,393 --> 00:18:50,463
Much water for your dirty face.
228
00:18:50,553 --> 00:18:52,464
It doesn't bloody wash off!
229
00:18:56,313 --> 00:19:00,545
Okey-dokey, karaoke. Folks, listen up.
230
00:19:00,633 --> 00:19:02,544
Listen up!
231
00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:04,066
This way, please.
232
00:19:06,673 --> 00:19:10,382
Now, there's been a few problems.
233
00:19:10,473 --> 00:19:14,102
But are we gonna let it get us down?
234
00:19:18,273 --> 00:19:20,628
No. So.
235
00:19:21,713 --> 00:19:24,466
Let the education begin.
236
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:43,549
Horse come in.
237
00:19:45,953 --> 00:19:47,784
We break legs.
238
00:19:49,873 --> 00:19:51,352
Then crush.
239
00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:52,548
Add water.
240
00:19:53,113 --> 00:19:55,388
Boil, then glue.
241
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:11,430
Raas! My Little Pony get whacked
up big-time. Na wha' I'm sayin!?
242
00:20:28,273 --> 00:20:29,228
Tom.
243
00:20:29,313 --> 00:20:32,908
Yeah, all right. All right. Like I said.
244
00:20:32,993 --> 00:20:36,668
This is the real world,
yeah? Real things happen.
245
00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:40,029
Deal with it. Come on.
246
00:20:40,713 --> 00:20:42,863
That's absolute crap, Tom.
247
00:20:42,953 --> 00:20:45,183
I thought on this
trip, we could explore.
248
00:20:45,273 --> 00:20:47,150
You know...
249
00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:48,746
Explore each other?
250
00:20:49,873 --> 00:20:51,147
Tom...
251
00:20:52,193 --> 00:20:53,308
Fuck off!
252
00:20:53,393 --> 00:20:58,148
Come on. Why do you think
I brought you on this trip?
253
00:20:58,233 --> 00:21:01,623
You're totally, totally out of order.
254
00:21:01,713 --> 00:21:04,944
Oh, yeah, and maybe you are frigid.
255
00:21:05,033 --> 00:21:06,307
- Yeah?
- Mmm.
256
00:21:06,393 --> 00:21:07,746
Well, fuck you, Tom!
257
00:21:09,673 --> 00:21:11,186
Yeah.
258
00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:14,267
Jesus Christ! What are you doing?
259
00:21:14,353 --> 00:21:16,105
He can't talk to you like that.
260
00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:19,230
- I'm gonna get the fucking twat.
- It's fine. It's fine!
261
00:21:25,393 --> 00:21:27,224
What am I doing?
262
00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,148
Come on... why not?
263
00:21:37,233 --> 00:21:38,552
It won't take long.
264
00:21:38,633 --> 00:21:41,591
- I'll be good, I promise.
- No.
265
00:21:41,673 --> 00:21:44,949
Why? You've done everyone
else. Georgie, Chris, Sid.
266
00:21:45,033 --> 00:21:45,863
How do you know?
267
00:21:45,953 --> 00:21:48,990
I've seen. I heard about the
one with Kenneth and his mum.
268
00:21:49,073 --> 00:21:50,028
Now, draw me.
269
00:21:50,113 --> 00:21:51,831
Just stop it.
270
00:21:53,553 --> 00:21:54,508
Stop it!
271
00:21:54,593 --> 00:21:56,902
Come on, man, I'm inspirational.
272
00:21:56,993 --> 00:21:58,551
Just stop it, yeah?
273
00:21:58,633 --> 00:22:01,511
You're a fucking idiot. Look...
274
00:22:01,593 --> 00:22:04,232
You've got a best friend who
thinks you're a perv, yeah,
275
00:22:04,313 --> 00:22:06,429
and you drew him, but you won't do me?
276
00:22:06,513 --> 00:22:08,743
I'll give you head... that's friendship.
277
00:22:11,553 --> 00:22:15,228
The packet says that these tablets will
totally flush you out within 24 hours,
278
00:22:15,313 --> 00:22:18,862
cos believe me, Sid,
we need those drugs.
279
00:22:18,953 --> 00:22:21,103
- There's no drugs, Muslim boy!
- Cheers, Max.
280
00:22:21,193 --> 00:22:24,788
You fucking prick. I can't believe
you're putting that Muslim bullshit on me!
281
00:22:24,873 --> 00:22:26,750
- What?
- I'm against God?
282
00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:28,312
You're the fucking worst Muslim!
283
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:30,304
- I pray five times a day.
- For what?
284
00:22:30,393 --> 00:22:32,463
More pork chops? Fuck
it. Let's get a drink.
285
00:22:32,553 --> 00:22:34,987
Of course Allah wants you
doing Class As from Sid's arse!
286
00:22:35,073 --> 00:22:36,984
You're talking about my religion!
287
00:22:37,073 --> 00:22:39,633
How was I ever friends
with a fucking hypocrite?
288
00:22:40,953 --> 00:22:42,432
Happy fucking Ramadan.
289
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:48,186
It's not Ramadan!
290
00:22:52,033 --> 00:22:53,261
Hey!
291
00:22:54,913 --> 00:22:56,869
Whoa, easy man!
292
00:23:11,593 --> 00:23:13,823
What fucking else?
293
00:23:15,433 --> 00:23:20,587
My house! No break, no break!
294
00:23:20,673 --> 00:23:24,029
I'm sorry... Sorry.
295
00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:26,871
Ok.
296
00:23:29,713 --> 00:23:32,466
- Neil Diamond?
- Yeah.
297
00:23:32,553 --> 00:23:35,386
Neil Diamond!
298
00:23:37,953 --> 00:23:38,988
Come.
299
00:23:40,233 --> 00:23:41,905
So why are you with Tony?
300
00:23:41,993 --> 00:23:45,668
He's exciting. And he must love me,
cos he could have anyone he wants.
301
00:23:45,753 --> 00:23:49,143
Do you think he ever wants anyone else?
302
00:23:49,233 --> 00:23:52,862
Maybe sometimes. He
always wants me the most.
303
00:23:52,953 --> 00:23:55,751
I'm his girlfriend and
that's special, isn't it?
304
00:23:57,033 --> 00:24:01,470
Yeah. I suppose. Listen, I
need to talk to you about him.
305
00:24:01,553 --> 00:24:04,863
Look, I know I annoy you, Jal.
306
00:24:04,953 --> 00:24:06,511
I don't mean to.
307
00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:11,064
Can we get out of here,
please? Just you and me?
308
00:24:11,153 --> 00:24:12,552
Sure.
309
00:24:16,593 --> 00:24:17,992
Shit.
310
00:24:19,193 --> 00:24:20,865
Sid. Sid!
311
00:24:20,953 --> 00:24:24,104
Her dad's turned up and he's shouting.
312
00:24:24,193 --> 00:24:25,751
It's like abuse, man.
313
00:24:25,833 --> 00:24:28,472
Oh, so there's a dad now, is there?
314
00:24:32,713 --> 00:24:33,702
Fuck.
315
00:24:36,993 --> 00:24:40,702
- Fuck me. She's real.
- He's gonna hurt her. We've gotta help!
316
00:24:42,993 --> 00:24:44,631
What are we gonna do?
317
00:24:44,713 --> 00:24:49,503
- An, he's going. Her dad's going.
- Come on!
318
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:57,463
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere. Where are you going?
319
00:24:57,553 --> 00:24:59,145
Nowhere.
320
00:25:06,953 --> 00:25:09,228
- You sure you're not going anywhere?
- Yep.
321
00:25:11,033 --> 00:25:12,182
Guys?
322
00:25:13,873 --> 00:25:16,341
- You going somewhere?
- No!
323
00:25:24,433 --> 00:25:25,548
Bye, then.
324
00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:35,788
Neil Diamond.
325
00:25:37,553 --> 00:25:39,669
Sit down, sit down!
326
00:25:48,673 --> 00:25:50,743
What is problem?
327
00:25:50,833 --> 00:25:55,623
You won't understand. I mean,
you can't even speak English.
328
00:25:56,273 --> 00:25:58,867
No problem!
329
00:26:00,553 --> 00:26:02,032
Vodka!
330
00:26:09,793 --> 00:26:12,261
Now, you tell me problem.
331
00:26:12,353 --> 00:26:16,062
We drink and problem kaput, da?
332
00:26:16,153 --> 00:26:18,223
Ok.
333
00:26:18,313 --> 00:26:20,190
Na zdoroviye!
334
00:26:22,673 --> 00:26:24,026
Na zdoroviye!
335
00:26:25,833 --> 00:26:27,551
I'm careering
336
00:26:27,633 --> 00:26:31,546
Down that slippery slope
337
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:35,706
Cos the thought of you won't go away...
338
00:26:37,273 --> 00:26:40,424
Chris, this... was a one-off.
339
00:26:41,553 --> 00:26:46,024
I don't have sex with
my 17-year-old students.
340
00:26:46,113 --> 00:26:47,512
How old are they normally?
341
00:26:50,113 --> 00:26:52,024
What are we gonna do about Maxxie?
342
00:26:52,113 --> 00:26:55,742
- You should hear what he gets up to.
- I'm serious, Chris!
343
00:26:55,833 --> 00:26:57,710
Ok, I'll have a word.
344
00:26:58,873 --> 00:27:02,422
And you do know that this can never,
345
00:27:02,513 --> 00:27:06,984
ever happen again, don't you?
346
00:27:07,073 --> 00:27:08,711
Yeah.
347
00:27:17,553 --> 00:27:19,384
Ok. So the plan is?
348
00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:24,103
We get in, rescue her, get out.
349
00:27:24,193 --> 00:27:28,232
Sid's a big hero. Anwar
gets his marbles gargled.
350
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:30,463
Simple.
351
00:27:51,393 --> 00:27:52,348
Hello!
352
00:27:52,433 --> 00:27:54,071
Helloski!
353
00:28:04,913 --> 00:28:06,062
Hey!
354
00:28:06,153 --> 00:28:07,745
Hello!
355
00:28:13,593 --> 00:28:15,868
Anka!
356
00:28:45,113 --> 00:28:46,068
Sshhhh!
357
00:28:46,153 --> 00:28:47,825
We're gonna get you out of here.
358
00:28:52,993 --> 00:28:53,789
Sid.
359
00:28:53,873 --> 00:28:54,988
Shhh!
360
00:28:55,073 --> 00:29:00,591
Tie this to the bed. Hurry up,
he's gonna come back. Come on.
361
00:29:02,753 --> 00:29:04,345
Come on, come on, slowly.
362
00:29:08,233 --> 00:29:09,427
Go.
363
00:29:09,513 --> 00:29:11,310
No, no.
364
00:29:11,393 --> 00:29:13,668
Trust me, yeah. Go.
365
00:29:15,433 --> 00:29:18,266
He's gonna get you, go.
366
00:29:18,353 --> 00:29:19,911
Come on, come on.
367
00:29:22,433 --> 00:29:23,388
Trust me.
368
00:29:28,953 --> 00:29:30,432
Sid, keep watch!
369
00:29:32,273 --> 00:29:33,752
Agh!
370
00:29:33,833 --> 00:29:35,232
Agh!
371
00:29:42,713 --> 00:29:43,702
Anka.
372
00:30:13,073 --> 00:30:17,066
Every time. Every fucking time.
373
00:30:17,153 --> 00:30:21,032
"Buy two ounces of weed,
Sidney." "Oh, yes, sir!"
374
00:30:21,113 --> 00:30:25,391
"Shove a bag of pills up your
arse, Sidney." "Oh, right away!"
375
00:30:25,473 --> 00:30:28,351
"Come help me save some
random bint." "Oh, could I?"
376
00:30:28,433 --> 00:30:33,143
What have we learnt, Sidney?
Your friends are shitheads.
377
00:30:37,313 --> 00:30:38,587
Ahhhhhhh!
378
00:31:05,313 --> 00:31:07,668
Great.
379
00:31:09,353 --> 00:31:12,390
Ummm...
380
00:31:12,473 --> 00:31:14,111
me...
381
00:31:14,193 --> 00:31:15,467
name...
382
00:31:17,473 --> 00:31:19,509
Anwar.
383
00:31:19,593 --> 00:31:23,905
Me... name... Anka.
384
00:31:23,993 --> 00:31:29,147
If only you knew the things
I'd love to do to you.
385
00:31:29,233 --> 00:31:33,112
Rub my fingers through your hair.
386
00:31:33,193 --> 00:31:35,423
Kiss your lips.
387
00:31:35,513 --> 00:31:37,310
Kiss your neck.
388
00:31:40,313 --> 00:31:42,702
Come on your tits.
389
00:31:42,793 --> 00:31:43,828
Sounds like fun.
390
00:31:43,913 --> 00:31:47,906
- You speak English?!
- Ya hah!
391
00:31:49,033 --> 00:31:52,548
I learnt from, like, so
the best American show ever.
392
00:31:52,633 --> 00:31:55,022
How you doin'?
393
00:31:55,113 --> 00:31:57,911
I'm like... horny.
394
00:32:07,113 --> 00:32:09,627
Come on, this'll do.
395
00:32:12,393 --> 00:32:14,543
This is awful. Let's go.
396
00:32:14,633 --> 00:32:18,182
J, I've never left a bar without
being chatted up in my life.
397
00:32:18,273 --> 00:32:20,025
Not about to break that record now.
398
00:32:20,113 --> 00:32:25,028
- There's nobody in here!
- If you flaunt it, they'll come.
399
00:32:35,633 --> 00:32:36,782
Unbelievable.
400
00:32:36,873 --> 00:32:39,182
Flaunt it, J.
401
00:33:06,273 --> 00:33:08,582
Can you be any harder?!
402
00:33:09,873 --> 00:33:11,067
Nope.
403
00:33:14,073 --> 00:33:15,745
Friends?
404
00:33:15,833 --> 00:33:17,710
Friends!
405
00:33:21,593 --> 00:33:25,063
Anwar's a fucking liar. Lies
to his mum all the fucking time.
406
00:33:25,153 --> 00:33:28,350
No, no, no, fuck that.
He makes me lie for him.
407
00:33:28,433 --> 00:33:29,422
Who's Anwar?
408
00:33:29,513 --> 00:33:30,832
Friend.
409
00:33:30,913 --> 00:33:32,312
Who's homo?
410
00:33:32,393 --> 00:33:35,112
Me! Anwar hates me
cos I'm a fucking homo.
411
00:33:35,193 --> 00:33:36,672
Anwar hate homo?
412
00:33:36,753 --> 00:33:38,232
Yeah.
413
00:33:38,313 --> 00:33:39,792
Anwar is friend?
414
00:33:39,873 --> 00:33:41,591
Yeah.
415
00:33:41,673 --> 00:33:47,191
So, Anwar has problem. No,
Maxxie. Valentina help Maxxie?
416
00:33:47,273 --> 00:33:49,423
Yeah, yeah, thank you.
417
00:33:51,473 --> 00:33:53,191
Maxxie help Valentina?
418
00:33:53,273 --> 00:33:54,945
Of course.
419
00:33:58,793 --> 00:34:00,784
You want me to draw you?
420
00:34:00,873 --> 00:34:02,306
Ok.
421
00:34:10,833 --> 00:34:12,505
Urgh.
422
00:34:12,593 --> 00:34:16,347
Kalinka, malinka, kalinka maya
423
00:34:16,433 --> 00:34:20,187
Kalinka, malinka, malinka maya
424
00:34:20,273 --> 00:34:23,822
Kalinka, malinka, malinka mayal
425
00:34:23,913 --> 00:34:28,065
Three condomski down, 19 to go.
426
00:34:34,553 --> 00:34:36,942
- Did you draw this?
- No.
427
00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:38,227
He did.
428
00:34:39,793 --> 00:34:42,023
He must be a good friend.
429
00:34:42,113 --> 00:34:45,264
He'll be there for you when
the rain starts to fall.
430
00:34:45,353 --> 00:34:48,743
Maybe not. He's pretty angry with me.
431
00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:50,551
Why?
432
00:34:51,633 --> 00:34:54,352
Cos I told the truth.
And that's important.
433
00:34:56,273 --> 00:34:59,390
But what about you? You've
got bigger problems than me.
434
00:34:59,473 --> 00:35:01,703
Anka, you can't go home back to him.
435
00:35:01,793 --> 00:35:05,103
You should come home with
me. I'll look after you.
436
00:35:05,193 --> 00:35:08,185
Anwar, don't lie to
me, it's not possible.
437
00:35:08,273 --> 00:35:10,150
It is! Just, look...
438
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:14,351
We can live together in my
house. I'll look after you.
439
00:35:14,433 --> 00:35:17,425
There may be one or two little
hiccups with the parents,
440
00:35:17,513 --> 00:35:20,391
but I'm sure it'll be fine.
441
00:35:50,833 --> 00:35:53,267
Guys! Guys! Sporty Spice
has finally arrived.
442
00:35:53,353 --> 00:35:55,628
Anwar's in there with
a bloody Russian girl!
443
00:35:55,713 --> 00:35:56,862
Tony, man, shhh!
444
00:35:56,953 --> 00:35:59,945
What? Don't act like you
don't want everyone to see.
445
00:36:00,033 --> 00:36:01,227
She's fit, though, ain't she?
446
00:36:01,313 --> 00:36:03,747
Yo, yo, homies, what's happenin'?
447
00:36:05,353 --> 00:36:09,187
- Yeah, she is fit. You must have paid for her.
- Yeah, Anwar, you pimp.
448
00:36:09,273 --> 00:36:11,707
- Aye, what's poppin', baby love?
- Oi!
449
00:36:11,793 --> 00:36:13,863
Perhaps she wants a
taste of the Kenneth.
450
00:36:13,953 --> 00:36:16,103
Right, not to be boring
old teacher, yeah.
451
00:36:16,193 --> 00:36:18,184
I mean, it's all gravy
with me, you know, but...
452
00:36:18,273 --> 00:36:19,945
Sid!
453
00:36:20,233 --> 00:36:23,430
You'd not believe what
I've just been through.
454
00:36:23,473 --> 00:36:25,862
I jumped out of a window,
455
00:36:25,953 --> 00:36:28,945
got chased into a bush,
waded through a river,
456
00:36:29,033 --> 00:36:33,265
all the while being chased
by your nutter of a dad.
457
00:36:33,353 --> 00:36:35,821
But it's ok, though,
cos I reckon I lost him.
458
00:36:55,673 --> 00:36:57,345
Eurgh. Why's she kissing her dad?
459
00:36:57,433 --> 00:36:59,503
- Anka?
- He's my husband.
460
00:36:59,593 --> 00:37:00,787
Your husband?
461
00:37:00,873 --> 00:37:02,909
We were on a break.
462
00:37:10,193 --> 00:37:12,184
I'm sorry! I didn't know!
463
00:37:16,273 --> 00:37:18,184
Leave him alone. Leave him alone.
464
00:37:19,793 --> 00:37:23,308
Oh, my giddy aunt! Can
we be sensible about this?
465
00:37:30,513 --> 00:37:35,541
Stop it, now! That's
enough, Maxxie. Now.
466
00:37:35,633 --> 00:37:39,148
Can we talk? Can we talk?
467
00:37:39,233 --> 00:37:40,666
Nyet!!
468
00:37:58,353 --> 00:38:03,746
- Honestly, we leave you alone two hours.
- And look what happens.
469
00:38:05,593 --> 00:38:06,946
Um...
470
00:38:07,033 --> 00:38:12,505
He totally, like, wants to
know who is the leader here.
471
00:38:15,673 --> 00:38:19,791
Yes, yes, officer, yes. Um, officer...
472
00:38:19,873 --> 00:38:22,706
I wanted to thank you, er...
because before you arrived
473
00:38:22,793 --> 00:38:24,465
I was about to step
in and kick some arse.
474
00:38:26,473 --> 00:38:28,941
There is a charge for armed response.
475
00:38:29,033 --> 00:38:31,991
Wh... what?
476
00:38:32,073 --> 00:38:34,587
It's, like, you so totally
will have to pay them.
477
00:38:49,033 --> 00:38:51,866
You English big hooligan problem.
478
00:38:51,953 --> 00:38:54,421
Tomorrow you leave Russia.
479
00:39:08,753 --> 00:39:12,462
Hey. You ok?
480
00:39:13,473 --> 00:39:16,909
Man... you tried to save me.
481
00:39:16,993 --> 00:39:19,826
Yeah. Well, I am fucking drunk.
482
00:39:25,873 --> 00:39:27,829
You were right, Max.
483
00:39:30,353 --> 00:39:32,344
I am a hypocrite.
484
00:39:33,793 --> 00:39:37,308
- Go on.
- No. I can't.
485
00:39:39,393 --> 00:39:41,190
It's not right.
486
00:39:42,153 --> 00:39:44,986
It's religion, Anwar. It's just stuff.
487
00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:48,345
You don't have to believe in it.
488
00:39:48,433 --> 00:39:50,742
Then where does that leave me, Max?
489
00:39:50,833 --> 00:39:52,789
I'm a Muslim boy.
490
00:39:54,113 --> 00:39:55,512
I don't get to choose.
491
00:39:56,753 --> 00:39:59,426
But where does that leave us?
492
00:40:04,233 --> 00:40:05,985
Fucking hell.
493
00:40:06,073 --> 00:40:08,462
I lost my virginity tonight.
494
00:40:08,553 --> 00:40:10,305
Yeah?
495
00:40:10,393 --> 00:40:11,985
Let's get us an old fat lady.
496
00:40:20,393 --> 00:40:21,826
Last drop?
497
00:40:29,393 --> 00:40:31,349
Ok.
498
00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:34,469
I'll see you, mate.
499
00:40:46,953 --> 00:40:50,662
- Hey, it's
He-Man. - Shut up.
500
00:40:51,753 --> 00:40:54,870
Poor girl's totally out of
it. She's completely wasted.
501
00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:57,786
Tony, you've got to stop fucking around.
502
00:41:00,073 --> 00:41:02,029
I dare you.
503
00:41:29,753 --> 00:41:31,664
Tony.
504
00:41:31,753 --> 00:41:34,267
We've finally found
something you're not good at.
505
00:41:34,353 --> 00:41:35,547
What?
506
00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:40,391
Good night, Tony.
507
00:41:40,473 --> 00:41:43,545
I'll find somewhere else to sleep.
508
00:41:44,713 --> 00:41:46,704
What?
509
00:41:59,473 --> 00:42:01,031
Oh, God.
510
00:42:01,113 --> 00:42:02,546
Problem?
511
00:42:02,633 --> 00:42:04,908
Tom, just shut up.
512
00:42:10,513 --> 00:42:13,232
Hey, Cassie. That's good.
513
00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:14,541
Ta.
514
00:42:14,633 --> 00:42:17,352
She really looks...
515
00:42:17,433 --> 00:42:21,426
- You made her look beautiful.
- She is beautiful.
516
00:42:23,913 --> 00:42:26,063
- Tony.
- Yes, Nips?
517
00:42:26,153 --> 00:42:28,587
Have you got something to tell me?
518
00:42:28,673 --> 00:42:30,823
Er... I dunno.
519
00:42:30,913 --> 00:42:33,063
I like your hair.
520
00:42:33,153 --> 00:42:35,462
No. Your top's nice.
521
00:42:35,553 --> 00:42:37,987
I love you? Any of those?
522
00:42:39,153 --> 00:42:40,347
No.
523
00:42:42,953 --> 00:42:46,150
Ahh. Oh, hang on.
524
00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:50,745
I think it's...
525
00:42:50,833 --> 00:42:53,028
I think I'm about to deliver!
526
00:42:53,113 --> 00:42:55,673
Great. Just in time
for Heathrow security.
527
00:42:55,753 --> 00:42:59,143
- Huh?
- Yeah. I hear they're very strict.
528
00:42:59,233 --> 00:43:03,909
- Better keep it up there.
- Oh, God.
529
00:43:05,073 --> 00:43:07,985
Oh, God.
530
00:43:53,793 --> 00:44:01,793
corrected by chamallow35
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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