Original subtitles

So I'm so excited for this party.

And guess what, Liz?

What's up?

I met, like, the hottest guy ever the other day.

And I invited him to our party.

He's so cute.

I want him to be.

You know, you're so adorable, and you bought my food the other day, and, like,

you know how these guys be broke and stuff.

But you're not.

They must be into you, then.

You're pretty promising, I would say. Hopefully, they can just be for

though. Yeah.

Well, if we'll be here tonight, then definitely will.

Let me know what you think.

I don't know if you want to invite anybody else.

over to our party?

Yeah, I haven't really thought about it. I was going to fly solo tonight.

Okay.

Do you, girl? Maybe.

Yeah.

I wonder what our stepdad's doing now.

That's a good question.

He's probably lonely or something.

I wish he'd just, like, get over my mom and start dating or something. My mom is

not coming back.

But I don't want to see him all sad.

Yeah, he's been through too many girlfriends already.

Right. He just needs one.

I guess maybe more than one. Who the fuck knows?

He's easy to sit together. I don't really know.

Right. I think one solid girl to tie him down would be pretty nice.

He hasn't gotten an agenda, I've noticed.

Yeah. He's starting to look nicer. Yeah.

Maybe we should call him. See if he's free tonight.

I don't have a big number. Oh, don't worry about it. I have it.

Cool. Okay, let's call him.

Hello?

Hey. Hello.

How are you?

We're good.

We're just wondering what our stepdad is doing for New Year's.

Oh, well, no big plans as of now. I'm just going to probably mark away with a

dinner. pop some champagne, and watch the ball drop.

Exciting. What are you girls doing?

Well, we're having a little get -together.

We're wondering if you want to come. Yeah, come watch the ball drop over

Yeah? Well, shoot.

Yeah, I don't think I have any plans tomorrow, so... Yeah, yeah, why not?

Perfect. You can come over whenever.

We're here.

Okay, sounds good. I'll go dig up some decent -looking clothes and...

Perfect. See you soon.

Bye. See you.

I don't know if I can really.

You can get over here anyways.

All right.

We got one more person coming.

Turn up.

Okay, well, now that we're waiting for our dad to get here, we should take some

selfies. Yeah, for sure.

Okay.

This is chaos.

Oh, my God. You're so cute.

All right, what?

What's up, babe?

Oh, my

God.

Yes.

Bye.

Why don't you tripod your phone and use the photo with that?

Oh, okay.

Thank you.

Hey, hey, hey!

Hey, Dad!

How are my two favorite stepdaughters?

They are so good. You look so good. You look well.

I should say the same for both of you. You look beautiful.

Thank you, Daddy.

So, how's the night turned out so far?

So far, so good.

Yeah? We took some videos for Tuesday.

I don't know.

That was my girl.

Yeah, I'll have to send you photos.

Yeah, definitely.

Well, cool. I'm really glad you guys invited me.

Great, yeah. Oh, oh, oh.

My date's calling me. You're back.

She's crazy about him. Oh, that girl. There's dates coming down. Yeah, this

guy. She met him at school.

Okay, well, good for her. Yeah.

How about you?

Where's your date?

Oh, I don't have one. You know, just my solo.

Why is that?

I don't know. I haven't been able to find anybody I'm interested in.

Now I find that really hard to believe.

You can't find anybody?

No.

I'm flabbergasted by that.

Just because I separated from your mom doesn't mean I think any left you.

always been just... I'm so highly of you. You're beautiful, smart,

I mean, it's been hard out here.

I just haven't found anyone I'm interested in.

Okay, that makes a little more sense.

You've got to be picky.

cute and beautiful and smart as you are, you should have all the options in the

world. Aw, thank you, Dad. Aw, of course. You deserve nothing but that.

I can't believe this shit. What the fuck?

Oh, my God.

What's going on?

My date.

What happened?

My daughters deserve so much better than what they're getting and this is not

acceptable

Didn't he buy you lunch, too?

Yeah!

It's okay.

This generation, I swear to God.

Well, no, let's not let this turn into a bad thing. Let's have a great night.

You know what? I have an idea.

Why don't we try and get him jealous?

We can take a few sexy photos and then swim.

There you go. Remind him, right? Remind him what he's missing out on. Make him

regret it. Exactly.

We can still salvage this night.

Let's do that. Make some pictures of us. Make sure he knows what he's missing

out on.

Exactly.

I won't be looking at that.

Nice, cute pictures. One, two, three.

Okay, that looks great.

Oh, girls.

Oh, yeah, girls.

Oh, my goodness. Beautiful,

beautiful, beautiful.

Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Let's see that.

Come on, take the photo. All right, all right, all right, all right.

You asked what the fuck boy was.

All right.

One, two.

Let's lift this dress a little bit.

Okay, you girls are kind of pushing it now.

One, two, three.

One more?

All right, but I'm closing my eyes for this one.

One, two.

Three.

Perfect. Those are so good. But you know what makes them even better?

What? We had a fuckboy in the photo.

Yeah. That would really grind his gears.

Fill me in, girl. A what boy?

A fuckboy. Come on.

Like a tool?

Fuckboy. You've never heard of fuckboy before?

No, I'm an adult.

Come on, dad.

The guy who fucks whatever girl he wants.

Yeah, like a douchebag, basically.

Exactly. Tell them you think of your father.

No, but know what? We're just using you, pretending, you know? We need another

fuckboy here, so that fuckboy gets jealous.

Yeah, fuck that boy, right?

Right. So you can be the fuckboy. Me?

You can have your piece of shit. Yeah. And he'll never know. Oh, yeah.

Girl.

The things that you... Yeah.

Cool.

It's okay, it's okay.

Okay, just, just, okay, okay, okay.

I'm doing this right.

Oh, that didn't, that didn't.

What? Is that happening to me?

Come on.

Two. One.

Three.

Two. One.

Three.

Two. One.

Way more and a few more. I guess we'll meet somewhere in the middle.

Three, two, one.

Those are making it really hard to behave in a fatherly manner.

Three, two, one.

Alright, just to be funny, how about you turn around?

You shouldn't know what that means, but like... Okay, ready?

Three, two, one.

Alright, what if, uh, what if, what if I have this?

You got it in my gut!

Yeah!

Your lips both have it. No!

Oh! Okay, there you go, yeah.

That was good.

You can't, you can't nose for Dad!

So, you get down there to the other wall. Game work, game work.

Oh, don't hold him back.

Oh, that's an unusual tongue out. What have you been up to since moving out of

my house?

I

won't

look, I promise. But what if you showed a little bit of nipple?

Okay. That would drive him nuts.

Okay, let's do it.

You're getting the hang of it. Ready?

Three, two... Oh, God, I thought it would still be

put away. Okay.

You know, it would be way better if you were just in between our kids.

Yes. Okay, blinders on then. Can you do this one?

Ready?

Hope I don't get in trouble with that. Either of your mothers.

We won't know.

You don't.

What if my hands were?

Yeah. Would you girls be okay with that?

Sure. We'll just have to crop my face out. For sure.

Alright.

Two, one.

Follow Mike.

How's it look?

Oh yeah, that looks good.

Oh, oh shit. Guys, look what time it is.

It's almost time for the ball to drop.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Yeah, put those tops out of the way.

Mine.

Ready?

Are you guys almost ready?

You guys know how to work these things? I've never done this before. All right,

all right. This is supposed to come along with mine.

Okay, ready?

All right, and ten, nine, eight, seven, six,

five, four.

Okay, well, I need my New Year's kiss since fuckboy wasn't here.

Oh, you girls are so cute. You can't leave dad out of this.

Oh, right on the cheek. I can't hurt her.

Thank you, girls.

What a great way to bring the New Year.

Honestly, I feel like our first kiss could have done a little better.

You think so?

Yeah, it's our first one of the year.

Okay.

I'm getting rid of it.

Girls,

girls.

Are you proud of it?

Yeah, it made me a very proud pilot.

Should we go together?

I don't know if you will.

I'm not going to stop you girls. How about that?

I did not see my new year's starting this morning.

Oh, fuck.

You guys look so cool.

I'm very proud to have you now.

Let's see how far down you can get.

That's what you girls are doing.

I don't know what's happening right now.

You girls are cute but sexy.

I have an idea.

Double.

You can lay down.

I...

I'm good.

Is it good?

Yeah.

I don't know if that is such a big thing.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

I love you.

I love you.

I hear you can grow right.

Okay,

I'm making out with little Dargo fucking the other day.

Oh, my God.

You're so freaky.

Thank you, Daddy.

Girl, out.

Oh my god, yes.

Oh my god, you're such a genius.

I feel so good

How can you say I can't see?

Oh,

that's it.

I'll do you good, my cockiness.

I hope you don't grab anybody.

God, I'm shaking so much.

oh my god

Oh my gosh.

Oh my god.

Oh my

God.

Yeah, here you go.

Oh, my

God. Good job.

You can turn.

Yeah,

yeah

Oh, she keeps doing that.

I'm just doing my fatherly duty.

Good luck.

Yeah. Oh,

my

God.

I love how he shouldn't be doing this.

Oh my God, they're making

paper real good.

You have to look good.

God

damn.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, girls.

Oh you girls know what you're fucking doing.

Oh fuck.

Nice and fucking strong.

What's going on?

God. Damn.

Goddamn. I can't fucking last any longer with this fucking pussy, by the way.

Goddamn. Here you go.

I'll get down on your puppy.

Oh, fuck you.

Happy New Year!