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1
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:49,976
Guess who's here.
2
00:01:51,811 --> 00:01:53,646
Who?
Come on. That's not guessing.
3
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,181
Try again. Guess who's here.
4
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:58,151
Tony Curtis.
5
00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,986
Petronius J. Sweetpits.
6
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,621
The King of Israel.
7
00:02:01,654 --> 00:02:04,290
I give up. Okay, I give up.
Could you just tell me who?
8
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:06,192
Boy, you know,
you try to introduce
9
00:02:06,226 --> 00:02:09,095
a little entertainment value
into an otherwise tedious job,
10
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,430
and this is what you get.
11
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,799
Here. It's your kid.
12
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:14,601
Wasn't that fun?
Hey, Dad.
13
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:16,670
Jeremy. What are you doing here?
14
00:02:16,703 --> 00:02:18,772
Oh, don't make him guess.
He hates that.
15
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,009
Here.
Mom wanted me to give you this.
16
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,412
Oh, my God.
17
00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:27,547
It's a...
18
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,083
I can't believe this.
Do you know what this is?
19
00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:31,351
Some old baseball.
20
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:33,420
This isn't just
any old baseball!
21
00:02:33,453 --> 00:02:34,688
It's a museum piece.
22
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,023
This is the Gil Hodges baseball!
23
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,526
Oh. Anyway, I gotta go.
24
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,494
Mom's triple-parked
in front of a hydrant.
25
00:02:41,528 --> 00:02:44,898
Wait, wait, wait.
Do you know who Gil Hodges was?
26
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,567
He was the greatest
first baseman in Dodger history.
27
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,235
In his last season
with the Dodgers,
28
00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,838
Gil Hodges hit this very ball,
and I caught it.
29
00:02:51,871 --> 00:02:53,640
And after the game
he signed it for me.
30
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,543
Look. See? Gil Hodges.
That's great, Dad.
31
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:57,711
You caught a home run?
32
00:02:58,144 --> 00:03:00,280
Well, no.
My dad caught it, you know.
33
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,082
I was only four years old
at the time.
34
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:04,017
But still, it was a home run.
35
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:08,288
Well, actually,
it was a foul ball.
But it was a huge foul ball.
36
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:09,956
Did he hit a home run
in the game?
37
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:12,425
I thought your mother
was waiting for you in the car.
38
00:03:12,459 --> 00:03:14,728
Yeah, well, bye, Dad.
39
00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:16,363
Thanks for the great
baseball story.
40
00:03:19,466 --> 00:03:22,235
That's my son,
though sometimes
I can't believe it.
41
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,038
Toby, could you...
Martin, do you mind?
42
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:26,873
We're having a crisis here.
43
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,342
You cannot play poker
with four people.
44
00:03:29,376 --> 00:03:31,344
It turns into mah-jongg.
45
00:03:31,845 --> 00:03:33,213
Excuse me.
46
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:36,750
I don't mean to interrupt
the crisis, but, Toby,
as part of your job,
47
00:03:36,783 --> 00:03:38,885
could you set up lunch
with Lieberman's agent
48
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,987
and get Marketing
on the phone for me?
Sure.
49
00:03:41,021 --> 00:03:43,423
How about
Diane in Payroll?
Can't. I slept with her.
50
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:44,591
Diane, huh?
51
00:03:45,191 --> 00:03:46,893
Listen, I always wondered.
Is she...
52
00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,796
Hello!
What? You want to play?
53
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,499
No.
Of course not.
54
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:54,067
That's why we didn't ask you.
55
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,469
Come on, Martin. Be a guy.
We're desperate here.
56
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:58,505
We're scraping
the bottom of the barrel.
57
00:03:58,538 --> 00:04:01,741
As flattering as that is, no.
No, thank you.
I think I'll pass.
58
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,044
Why? It's gonna be a lot of fun.
59
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,979
Poker is never fun.
60
00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:09,549
Maybe it starts out fun,
but it always becomes this big,
competitive thing.
61
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,551
And somebody loses too much
and gets upset,
62
00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,920
and before you know it,
everybody's tense and angry.
63
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,423
Forget it.
Martin, it is nothing like that.
64
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:19,926
It's a nickel-and-dime game.
We spend more on pizza
than we do at the table.
65
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,495
Look, it's just
the chance to hang out
66
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:26,066
and have some of Toby's special
strawberry daiquiris
and bitch about work.
67
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,701
Leave the man alone.
68
00:04:27,734 --> 00:04:29,736
He doesn't wanna play.
69
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:30,904
Thank you, Toby.
70
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,006
Face it.
He just doesn't like us.
71
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,174
Oh, wait a minute.
72
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:36,276
Ah, you like us enough
to work with us,
73
00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:38,345
but you never go out
for beers after work.
74
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,781
You didn't come
to the softball picnic.
You missed Carter's birthday.
75
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:45,952
I signed the card.
76
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,955
It's okay.
You were probably real busy.
77
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:52,192
Look, maybe you just think
you're better than us.
78
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,729
Hmm.
Or maybe this is who you are.
79
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,864
You're a rock. You're an island.
80
00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,133
You're the cheese
that stands alone.
81
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,235
I smell something.
82
00:05:02,268 --> 00:05:04,270
Okay, okay, I'll play.
83
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:06,439
Good. Can we use your apartment?
84
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,841
Morning, people.
85
00:05:07,874 --> 00:05:10,610
Morning, Mr. Fiske.
Nice suspenders.
86
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:11,878
Morning, Carter.
87
00:05:11,911 --> 00:05:13,947
How's my favorite
groveling sycophant?
88
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:15,882
Fine. Thanks for asking.
89
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:21,021
Well, people, I've just been
reading our quarterly report,
90
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:23,456
and to say that profits
are looking like shit
91
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,026
would be putting a shine on it.
92
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:30,263
As a result, we are forced
to take drastic measures.
93
00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:31,498
You're all fired.
94
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,903
Clean out your desks.
95
00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:38,972
I want you gone by 5:00 p.m.,
the lot of you.
96
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,308
What, are you... You're kidding.
97
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,745
Actually, I am kidding.
98
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,781
Cute.
99
00:05:47,814 --> 00:05:50,183
You see, I like to do that,
so that when I tell you
100
00:05:50,216 --> 00:05:52,719
that none of you will be
receiving your spring bonuses,
101
00:05:52,752 --> 00:05:54,654
you'll be able
to put it into perspective.
102
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:57,257
What?
And this time I'm not kidding.
103
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,693
Oh, my God.
I don't believe this.
104
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,828
Well, carry on, people.
105
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,898
Oh, congrats
on getting your jobs back.
106
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,635
They say that as a youth,
he made spending money
107
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:12,339
by allowing people
to strike matches on his face.
108
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,480
He took our bonuses,
I can't believe he just...
109
00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,749
took our bonuses like that.
110
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,918
2,500 bucks.
111
00:06:24,951 --> 00:06:27,554
I was gonna use that money
to pay for my wedding.
112
00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,323
He is such an asshole.
Oh, come on, Carter.
113
00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:33,426
You did everything today
but give him a blow job
in the xerox room.
114
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,729
Are you saying I'm gay?
115
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,130
Skip it.
116
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:38,431
I'm not gay.
All right.
117
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:40,400
I'm not gay.
All right. Enough!
118
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,470
We are done with
the bitching-about-work portion
of the evening.
119
00:06:43,503 --> 00:06:45,338
Now it's time to play
some serious poker.
120
00:06:45,372 --> 00:06:46,773
Everybody ante in a nickel.
121
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:49,642
Okay.
Are there any house rules
122
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,311
I should know about
before we start?
123
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,979
A few. It's dealer's choice.
124
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,848
Rules of the game change
with every hand.
125
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:58,018
Wild cards can be called only
when the pot is over $2,
126
00:06:58,051 --> 00:07:00,320
except for jokers
which are always wild.
127
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,322
Ante is a nickel except
after a full house,
128
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:05,458
you can bump it to ten cents,
or a straight flush,
bump it to 20.
129
00:07:05,492 --> 00:07:07,727
How many of those have you had?
130
00:07:08,395 --> 00:07:10,997
Too much chocolate
and she goes...
131
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,533
I can handle it!
132
00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,036
Considering everything
that's happened today,
133
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,671
we don't have to play for money.
134
00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,839
Maybe we should play
strip poker.
135
00:07:20,306 --> 00:07:22,042
He's doing it again.
What? What?
136
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:25,178
Carter, accept the fact that
you will never see me naked.
137
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,647
All right? Accept it
and get on with your life.
138
00:07:37,090 --> 00:07:39,959
Okay. We'll start
with something simple.
139
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,262
It's a little game called
Kansas City Murder.
140
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:46,366
We begin by taking all the twos
and sixes out of the deck.
141
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,035
Oh.
142
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,705
All right, Martin,
I see your ten,
143
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:53,940
and I raise you 50.
144
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:58,178
It's too rich for my blood.
145
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,013
Uh, ditto.
146
00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,148
I'll see that 50.
147
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:05,518
And I'll raise you...
148
00:08:05,552 --> 00:08:07,187
$10,000!
149
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:09,055
Six cents.
150
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,024
All right!
Now we're playing poker!
151
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:12,292
Yes!
152
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,527
Okay, big shot. What do ya got?
153
00:08:16,796 --> 00:08:19,032
Five jacks!
Oh, God!
154
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:21,801
I sure didn't expect to be
so lucky so fast.
155
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,870
Unbelievable.
He's got three wild cards.
156
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:26,806
This guy cannot lose.
This is fun.
You guys were really right.
157
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,610
Course you're having fun, you
haven't lost a hand all night.
158
00:08:30,643 --> 00:08:32,779
Let me see your sleeves.
Roll up your sleeves!
159
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,648
I think
we've had enough of these.
No, no, I'm fine, I'm fine.
160
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:40,787
The pizza's here!
The dishes are over at the sink.
161
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:42,088
What kind you get?
162
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,624
We got pepperoni,
we got mushroom, we got...
163
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,893
Gibby!
164
00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,928
I'm not late, am I?
Late?
165
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,597
Carter!
Gibby.
166
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,165
Your directions were terrible.
167
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:54,634
Really? I'm sorry.
Carter.
168
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,770
You stupid knucklehead!
169
00:08:56,803 --> 00:09:00,640
You didn't tell us
you invited Gibby.
Well, it's just that I... I...
170
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,375
You were sucking up, Carter.
Yeah.
171
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,444
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
172
00:09:04,477 --> 00:09:06,312
This is exactly
the kind of experience
173
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:09,049
I've been hoping to have
since I came to this country.
174
00:09:09,516 --> 00:09:11,584
Spending an evening
with real Americans.
175
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,486
Drinking American light beer.
176
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:14,921
Eating nachos.
177
00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:17,524
Playing poker.
178
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,526
I've got some
American cheese in the fridge.
179
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,061
Yeah, all right. Maybe later.
180
00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,397
You're gonna have to
guide me through this.
181
00:09:24,431 --> 00:09:26,066
I've never quite grasped
this game.
182
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,468
How do we start?
183
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,805
Well, first
we have to put in an ante.
184
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,440
All right.
185
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:35,408
Here we go.
186
00:09:38,611 --> 00:09:40,180
Fuck me!
187
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:42,482
Gibby, what... what's that?
188
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:44,718
Well, this is a betting game,
isn't it?
189
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:47,987
Christ, Gibby!
I thought you said
the profits looked like shit.
190
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,222
Oh, they are.
191
00:09:49,255 --> 00:09:52,058
The publishing house
is in the crapper.
192
00:09:52,092 --> 00:09:54,627
I'm doing rather well myself
personally though.
193
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,663
So, how do we begin?
194
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,499
First you give everybody
several hundred dollars.
195
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,001
That's exactly right. That's...
196
00:10:01,034 --> 00:10:02,435
You know, it's custom, really.
197
00:10:02,469 --> 00:10:03,670
Right here.
No!
198
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:06,139
No.
199
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:11,378
and that's what
it's going to be.
200
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,979
Gibby, 50 cents is the limit.
All right.
201
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,815
But, hey.
202
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,959
You're the boss.
203
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:27,427
Yeah.
204
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,196
All right.
205
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,364
Go! Go! Go! Go!
206
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,937
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
207
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,540
All right, all right, all right.
208
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:42,642
All right. I'll see that 100.
209
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,211
Wow.
210
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,546
And I'll raise you another 100.
211
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:49,749
Whoa.
212
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,217
Well, I see your 200,
213
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,720
and I'll bump you 200 more.
214
00:10:53,753 --> 00:10:56,623
Ouch.
This is like Monopoly.
215
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,291
I should buy a hotel.
216
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,427
500 to me is no problem,
gentlemen.
217
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,662
Oh. La-di-da.
218
00:11:02,696 --> 00:11:04,864
Well, I'm in.
Very good.
219
00:11:04,898 --> 00:11:08,001
Huh-huh-huh. Let's see.
220
00:11:08,034 --> 00:11:09,903
I think I'm going
to win this money.
221
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:11,738
All right.
222
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:13,873
It is a lot of money,
but I'm in.
223
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:17,110
Uh...
224
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:19,946
I've got the dough,
the money, the mazuma.
225
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:23,717
I'm in too.
226
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,985
You're in.
227
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,187
So, what have we got?
228
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,055
Pair of twos.
229
00:11:29,089 --> 00:11:30,290
Full boat. Jacks over threes.
230
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,927
Yeah.
231
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,295
Yeah, well, I'm afraid
this one's mine, Marty.
232
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,131
All black cards.
233
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,867
Whoa.
234
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,069
Whoa.
235
00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:45,472
Gibby.
236
00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:46,973
They need to be
of the same suit.
237
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,908
Did I know that?
238
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:52,278
It's all yours.
239
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,546
The man can solve
the most complex
240
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,181
mathematical problems,
but when it comes to
241
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,150
a simple little game like poker,
he can't win.
242
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,319
Well.
243
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,254
Oops. Almost lost one.
244
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:02,589
That was fun.
Right. Shall we try again?
245
00:12:02,622 --> 00:12:05,525
Yeah.
Yeah!
246
00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,795
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
247
00:12:08,828 --> 00:12:11,664
Gibby, it's 600 to you.
248
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,307
Well, I appear to be
completely out of cash.
249
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,343
Hey, would you accept an IOU?
250
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,278
Sure.
Yeah.
251
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:26,680
Oh, yes.
252
00:12:26,713 --> 00:12:27,947
If you're good for it.
Wait a minute.
253
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,749
Wait a minute.
This has gone far enough.
254
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:31,785
Wait. Wait.
255
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,853
How much have you lost?
256
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:36,523
Somewhere in the neighborhood
of $12,000.
257
00:12:36,556 --> 00:12:39,426
12,000?
258
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,594
Yeah.
No, Gibby.
259
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,096
We can't take
any more of your money.
260
00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,798
Much as we'd like to.
261
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,599
No, let's just call it a night.
262
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:49,636
Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
263
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:52,405
All right.
264
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,773
I'll... I'll divide this.
265
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,709
Okay. All right.
266
00:12:55,742 --> 00:12:57,077
Unless, of course, you'd like
to play for vacation days.
267
00:13:01,414 --> 00:13:04,217
Oh, yeah, sure.
I'm in.
268
00:13:04,250 --> 00:13:05,418
That's a great idea.
269
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,786
Yeah.
It's kind of early, really.
270
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,989
Yeah, well, uh,
271
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,092
why don't we say they're worth,
uh, 300 a piece?
272
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,828
Oh, fair.
I'll bet two.
273
00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,896
That's fair. Don't you think?
Mm-hmm.
274
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:21,468
Yeah?
275
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,535
So, what do you have, Gibby?
276
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,037
Well, I've got five hearts.
277
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,339
That's something, isn't it?
278
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:28,975
Yeah, yeah, that's something.
279
00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:31,745
No.
280
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,514
Y... you win.
281
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:36,683
Oh, I do win. Oh, great.
282
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,285
I told you
I'd get a feel for this.
283
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,321
Oh, it's my...
my serve as well, is it?
284
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:43,189
All right. Let's, um...
285
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:46,926
Let's play that one I liked.
What was it called?
286
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,428
Uh... Barracuda?
287
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,730
He don't play like no beginner.
288
00:13:50,764 --> 00:13:52,799
Anybody else want some Aspirin?
289
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,736
Yeah. Right here.
290
00:14:00,106 --> 00:14:01,574
Leave the whole bottle,
will you?
291
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:02,809
Thank you.
292
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,310
Just... I fold.
293
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:05,378
Yeah. Toby?
294
00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,117
Okay. Okay.
295
00:14:12,118 --> 00:14:14,254
Okay.
296
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,656
Three more vacation days.
297
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:18,692
T... T... Toby, no.
No, I could take this hand.
I'm telling you.
298
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:21,061
Listen to me.
You're in way over your head.
Look, I've got to.
299
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:25,031
At this rate, I'm not gonna get
another vacation
300
00:14:25,065 --> 00:14:28,268
for the next eight years.
301
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,737
Eight years
of "Martin Tupper's office.
302
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,439
Martin Tupper's office."
303
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,341
Not a break. Not a day off.
304
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,775
Just, "Martin Tupper's office."
"Martin Tupper's office."
305
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,377
After a while,
the name doesn't mean anything.
306
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,447
It's just sounds.
"Martin Tupper's office."
"Martin Tupper's office."
307
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,682
Get these away...
Don't touch those!
308
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,985
Okay. Okay. Okay.
309
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,754
Three more vacation days.
310
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,789
Three more.
311
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,428
What have you got?
312
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:56,830
Two pair. Queens and tens.
313
00:14:57,797 --> 00:14:58,832
Nice.
314
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:03,069
Well, I guess that takes me.
315
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:05,672
Yes!
316
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,173
All I've got
is two pair of threes.
317
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:08,742
That's four of a kind.
318
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,244
Have I won again?
319
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,848
This is the oddest game.
320
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:16,349
Once you start winning,
you can't seem to stop.
321
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:19,152
"Martin Tupper's office."
322
00:15:19,185 --> 00:15:21,321
"Martin Tupper's office."
323
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,124
"Martin Tupper's office."
324
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:26,226
I'm out.
325
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,995
Oh, come on, Marty.
326
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,615
You're letting me down.
327
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,083
Everyone else
is into the spirit of the game.
328
00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,484
Take your nuts
out of your pocket,
put them on the table.
329
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,653
Thank you, but I'm afraid
330
00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:56,256
they might get
a little chilly up there.
331
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:57,957
Very well. Allison, it's to you.
332
00:15:57,991 --> 00:15:59,793
Oh, uh...
333
00:16:02,729 --> 00:16:06,166
Okay, I'm in.
Four vacation days on credit.
334
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,101
No, no. Sorry, can't do it.
335
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:12,972
You're into
the next century already.
336
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,375
Frankly, darling,
I'm not sure you're gonna be
with the firm that long.
337
00:16:15,408 --> 00:16:17,243
Gibby, please!
I think we should
take this time
338
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:20,480
to... to reevaluate
why we're here this evening.
339
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,383
Remember? Remember?
340
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,985
Fun, camaraderie,
the... the pizza.
341
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,387
How much for the blouse?
342
00:16:27,420 --> 00:16:29,889
It's a trick!
She's wearing a bra.
343
00:16:31,157 --> 00:16:32,392
You dick.
344
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,294
600 for the blouse.
Another six for the brassiere.
345
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,595
He's the Antichrist.
346
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:40,166
Allison, don't! Don't do it.
347
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,768
You don't have to.
No, I do have to.
348
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:43,803
How am I gonna explain
to Paul that I lost
our honeymoon on a poker game?
349
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:46,106
All right.
350
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:49,876
Here they are.
351
00:16:51,411 --> 00:16:52,812
How low have we fallen?
352
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,948
What? Oh, you haven't seen
a naked woman before.
353
00:16:56,750 --> 00:16:58,518
Of course I have.
354
00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:02,055
Told you I wasn't gay.
355
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,990
Allison, I'll get you a shirt.
No, no! No.
356
00:17:04,024 --> 00:17:05,592
No, I didn't risk $1,200
just to own women's clothing.
357
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:08,328
In the old days,
you would be dead.
358
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:12,832
No, Martin, really. It's okay.
359
00:17:12,866 --> 00:17:14,834
Four jacks. Read them and weep.
360
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:16,336
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah!
361
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:20,607
All right!
362
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,008
Wait a minute,
uh, I've got a runner,
363
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,476
and they're all these
little shamrock things.
364
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,745
Oh, my God.
365
00:17:25,779 --> 00:17:27,881
It's called a straight flush.
Huh.
366
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,082
And they're clubs.
Oh.
367
00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,551
Clubs. Can you say that?
368
00:17:31,584 --> 00:17:33,119
Don't get all testy, Marty.
It's only a game.
369
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,321
Oh, my God.
370
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:38,258
Tough luck, Allison.
Who would have thought
he could beat four jacks?
371
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,293
Get out...
What?
372
00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:43,463
What's the big deal?
373
00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,967
You've never seen
a naked guy before?
374
00:18:05,085 --> 00:18:06,820
Gee, I don't know, Gibby.
375
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,755
Do you really think
that's worth 1,200 bucks?
376
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,224
Apart from the obvious, Carter,
what have you got?
377
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,293
Four fours.
378
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,364
You can't beat four fours.
There's four of them.
379
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:19,532
I suppose I could
if had four fives.
380
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,969
Do you?
381
00:18:23,003 --> 00:18:25,305
No.
382
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,740
I've got four kings.
383
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:27,807
Oh. No.
384
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,178
Gee, Carter, who'd have thought?
385
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,380
Well, anyone care
for one more hand? No?
386
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,815
Oh, surely
you've all got something else
387
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,855
you'd like to put
on the line here.
388
00:18:41,888 --> 00:18:43,923
Your life savings?
Major appliances?
389
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,525
Household pets?
390
00:18:45,558 --> 00:18:48,128
No?
391
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,930
All right.
Well, thanks
for the snacks, Marty.
392
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,298
I've got to hand it to you.
393
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,469
You might be a loser,
394
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,939
but you're not
as pathetic a loser
as the rest of this bunch.
395
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:01,675
Oh, yes, I am.
396
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:04,711
Snake.
397
00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,081
Turn around.
398
00:19:08,114 --> 00:19:09,149
I want one last hand.
399
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,051
Well, well, well.
Martin, don't do it.
400
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,388
You were right.
It's not worth it.
401
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:20,226
What do you say, Gibby?
Martin, why are you doing this?
402
00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,262
Somebody's got to.
403
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,998
I just don't like being
pushed around.
That's all.
404
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,833
Because it's fun!
405
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:29,135
Well, Gibby.
406
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:31,304
Ready to take your nuts
out of your pocket?
407
00:19:32,405 --> 00:19:33,740
Hmm?
408
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,709
Toby, deal the cards.
409
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:36,776
Good luck, Martin.
410
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,913
Good luck, Mr. Fiske.
411
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:45,051
Okay, the name of the game
ls five-card stud.
412
00:19:45,085 --> 00:19:47,420
Nothing is wild,
413
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:51,257
except, of course,
the circumstances.
414
00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,926
We got a niner. We got a deuce.
415
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,994
Nine bets.
416
00:19:57,831 --> 00:20:00,834
All right.
417
00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:01,968
I'll bet 600.
418
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:06,172
I see that 600...
419
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,075
and I'll raise you...
420
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,581
Allison's blouse.
421
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:17,684
Thank you, Martin. Thank you.
422
00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,322
All right, I'll see the blouse.
423
00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,724
And I'll raise you 1,000.
424
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:28,061
On two cards?
425
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,462
I feel lucky.
426
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,032
Okay.
427
00:20:33,066 --> 00:20:34,234
Okay, 1,000.
428
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,469
But I don't want it in cash.
429
00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,772
I'll take Drew's CD player.
430
00:20:38,805 --> 00:20:40,573
Bless you, Martin! Bless you!
431
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:42,242
And two of Toby's vacation days.
432
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:44,277
It's a pleasure
to answer your phone.
433
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,479
Martin?
434
00:20:46,513 --> 00:20:48,548
And a sock for Carter.
435
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,016
A sock?
That's all I can afford.
436
00:20:51,317 --> 00:20:53,720
It's 1,000 to you.
437
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,289
Okay.
438
00:20:59,192 --> 00:21:00,560
I don't have 1,000.
I have $400...
439
00:21:01,661 --> 00:21:02,762
How about your refrigerator?
My...
440
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,802
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
441
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,770
Okay, okay!
$400 and the refrigerator.
442
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,507
But I'm not helping you
move it out.
443
00:21:19,512 --> 00:21:21,681
Scrooge gets a jack.
444
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,650
And a six for Martin.
445
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,753
Jack bets.
446
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:29,189
I believe in these cards.
I'll bet 1,000.
447
00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:30,623
And I assume you'd like that
in clothing and appliances.
448
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,828
1,000. Okay?
449
00:21:34,861 --> 00:21:38,298
And, uh... and, uh...
450
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:40,500
you... you can have my computer.
451
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,137
And the bed.
452
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:46,106
Come on, I paid over $2,000
for that computer.
453
00:21:46,139 --> 00:21:47,841
I like the bed.
454
00:21:48,842 --> 00:21:51,311
Okay. I'll bet you the computer,
455
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:52,379
and I'll raise you the bed.
456
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,014
Yeah, I'll see that.
457
00:21:54,047 --> 00:21:55,548
Ten for Mr. Mussolini,
458
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,251
who's looking like a straight.
459
00:22:00,353 --> 00:22:01,955
And another deuce
for the golden boy.
460
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:04,357
Your bet, Marty. What'll it be?
461
00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:07,260
Uh.
462
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:11,331
What'll it be?
Yeah.
463
00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:12,399
Uh...
464
00:22:13,500 --> 00:22:15,068
This first edition copy
of Catcher in the Rye,
465
00:22:16,302 --> 00:22:17,370
which my ex-wife gave me
on our first anniversary.
466
00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:34,988
Hey, it's just a book.
467
00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:38,024
What are you...
468
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:41,127
Catcher in the Rye?
469
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:43,863
Yeah, all right,
all right, all right.
470
00:22:44,464 --> 00:22:45,799
Here.
Here are some more umbrellas.
471
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:48,034
Are you gonna deal
the last card?
472
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,771
A lady on the straight,
and a bullet on the twos.
473
00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:55,041
That straight's looking
mighty solid,
474
00:22:56,443 --> 00:23:00,347
but the little twos are talking.
475
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:02,115
Well, what'll it be, Marty?
476
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:03,717
Are you all tapped out?
477
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,088
You ready to throw it in? No?
478
00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:17,130
Uh...
479
00:23:18,264 --> 00:23:20,834
God.
480
00:23:22,569 --> 00:23:23,670
Well, there's no
turning back now.
481
00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:27,574
I bet this baseball.
482
00:23:35,215 --> 00:23:37,317
Oh, God. A baseball?
483
00:23:42,022 --> 00:23:43,790
Maybe I can give you Carter's
other sock for that.
484
00:23:43,823 --> 00:23:46,559
No, no, no.
You're gonna give me
everything for it.
485
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,862
I bet this baseball against
everything else you've got.
486
00:23:48,895 --> 00:23:51,197
This isn't just any baseball.
487
00:23:51,231 --> 00:23:53,867
The fact is, Gibby,
488
00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:55,335
the fact is...
The fact is, I hate your guts.
489
00:23:55,368 --> 00:23:57,070
The fact is this is
a piece of American history.
490
00:23:57,103 --> 00:24:00,206
You wanna know about America?
491
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,076
Well, in America,
we play baseball.
492
00:24:03,109 --> 00:24:04,544
Fathers and sons
go to baseball games
493
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:07,347
to see their heroes,
American heroes,
494
00:24:07,380 --> 00:24:09,349
in the summer,
on the grass with...
495
00:24:09,382 --> 00:24:11,685
Well, not always on the grass
these days, but...
496
00:24:11,718 --> 00:24:14,020
In those days my father took me
to Ebbets Field,
497
00:24:15,088 --> 00:24:17,724
where Gil Hodges played,
Gil Hodges.
498
00:24:17,757 --> 00:24:20,026
One of the legends of the game.
499
00:24:20,060 --> 00:24:21,795
And he hit this baseball,
and I caught it.
Hmm.
500
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:23,263
Actually my dad caught it,
but he gave it to me.
501
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:26,332
And after the game, we waited
for Gil to ask him to sign it.
502
00:24:27,967 --> 00:24:30,236
And he came out
of that locker room
503
00:24:30,270 --> 00:24:33,039
and he walked up to me
and he said,
504
00:24:33,073 --> 00:24:34,708
"Hey, kid, you want me
to sign that for you?"
505
00:24:34,741 --> 00:24:36,409
And he didn't have to do that.
506
00:24:36,443 --> 00:24:39,446
He was a big star.
507
00:24:40,413 --> 00:24:41,881
But that's the kind of guy
he was!
508
00:24:41,915 --> 00:24:43,083
Well, Ebbets Field is gone now.
And Gil Hodges is gone.
509
00:24:43,116 --> 00:24:44,751
But this baseball remains.
510
00:24:44,784 --> 00:24:47,754
This baseball is America!
511
00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:49,489
Yeah, all right. Throw it on.
512
00:24:49,522 --> 00:24:51,858
No.
513
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,198
So I'm gonna bet this baseball
514
00:24:58,798 --> 00:24:59,866
against all that stuff
and the cash.
515
00:25:00,867 --> 00:25:01,901
Come on, Marty.
516
00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:06,239
The story was okay,
but it's still just a baseball.
517
00:25:06,272 --> 00:25:07,674
That's the bet, Gibby!
518
00:25:07,707 --> 00:25:10,310
Take it or leave it.
519
00:25:11,378 --> 00:25:13,113
I'll take it.
520
00:25:13,747 --> 00:25:16,349
Let's see what we've got.
521
00:25:16,383 --> 00:25:18,485
Ready, slick?
522
00:25:20,387 --> 00:25:21,554
I, in fact,
do not have a straight.
523
00:25:24,257 --> 00:25:25,558
But I do have a pair of queens.
524
00:25:25,592 --> 00:25:27,160
Can you top that?
525
00:25:30,463 --> 00:25:31,498
Apparently you can.
526
00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:41,641
Marty, you really pulled
that one out of your ass.
Thank you, Gibby.
527
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:44,744
You mind if I take five
for the cab ride home?
Take six.
528
00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:46,479
Leave a tip.
529
00:26:09,869 --> 00:26:11,371
You really gave him
a run for his money, Mr. Fiske.
530
00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:21,114
Well, this was entertaining.
Expensive, but entertaining.
531
00:26:21,147 --> 00:26:24,484
What do you say we do it again
next Friday at my place?
532
00:26:24,517 --> 00:26:25,852
I'm scheduled
for some root canal.
I'm booked.
533
00:26:30,523 --> 00:26:32,826
Oh, I see. I see.
Well, Monday, then.
534
00:26:34,594 --> 00:26:39,065
You can put your nuts back
in your pocket now.
535
00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:43,169
No, no. I'm... I'm okay.
536
00:26:43,203 --> 00:26:45,572
That was
the most humiliating experience
537
00:26:45,605 --> 00:26:48,575
of my entire life.
538
00:26:55,849 --> 00:26:58,284
This was not my idea
of a good time.
539
00:26:59,386 --> 00:27:01,154
I am never playing poker again.
540
00:27:01,187 --> 00:27:03,056
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, think about it,
you guys.
541
00:27:03,089 --> 00:27:04,524
We... we do have $12,000.
542
00:27:04,557 --> 00:27:06,926
We?
We?
543
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,329
Yeah, all us... we.
544
00:27:09,362 --> 00:27:11,831
Hey, yes.
"We."
545
00:27:12,432 --> 00:27:14,768
"We."
546
00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:17,504
The name of the game
is "tax-free bonuses."
547
00:27:17,537 --> 00:27:20,173
You see, gambling doesn't pay.
548
00:27:20,206 --> 00:27:22,776
Good night.
549
00:27:22,809 --> 00:27:25,245
One for you. And one for you.
And one for you.
550
00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:30,717
And, of course, one for you.
And, oh, what the hell?
551
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,285
One for you. And one for you.
Well, two for me.
38852
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