Original subtitles

Previously on Dream On.

In the newspaper.

But they start filming tomorrow on the Richard Stone story.

I'm going to be in the movie. Okay.

I play the idiot ex-husband, Marvin.

It's not a dream.

It's a nightmare.

No, Martin, I'm the subplot.

You're just an obstacle.

We must remember that these are all ordinary people.

What is it that you want to do?

What do I want to do?

Jump on her.

Do this.

Actually, I was thinking about

someplace with more walls.

The world of animals can give us a fascinating perspective

on our own.

Consider the Indian elephant who mates for life,

often journeying hundreds of miles to find his love.

Where are you?

While the Bengal tiger has been known to mate with

as many as seven females in a single season.

The female striped-back

wolf spider kills and devours

the male following copulation.

It hurts.

While the nearby natives of the jungle carry things

on their heads.

Good night, sweetie.

Good night.

Good night.

Morning, Toby.

Always nice to see your smiling, girlish face.

Oh, we have Mr. Happy Boots today.

Just came by to pick up some papers, then if anybody needs

me, I'll be at the studio.

At the studio?

Certainly, Mr. DeMille.

Shall I have him bring the car around?

Go ahead, make fun.

I'm in a terrific mood this morning, and there is

nothing, nothing you can say that is going to bring me down.

Your Uncle Lou died.

What?

Your uncle Lou died. Heart attack.

Your aunt Ida found him face down in the bathroom floor.

The funeral is tomorrow.

I love a challenge.

Come on, Rick, cut it out.

We're supposed to be studying.

Hey, this is biology.

Help.

Wait a minute. Did you hear something?

No.

The mutant professor.

Wrong studio, bud.

Is it?

There you are.

I heard about Uncle Lou. I'm really sorry.

Are you okay?

I'm holding up.

Richard, you're incredible.

I'm so glad you're going to be my new dad.

I'm so glad you're going to be my new dad.

I'm so glad you're going to be my new dad.

All right, it's perfect.

So how long did you stay yesterday?

Just a fair bit.

I was giving Julia some insights into your character.

Oh, good.

Good morning, Judith. Hi.

Is this Jeremy? Mm-hmm.

Hi, Jeremy. Hi, Ms. Montana.

Hello, you.

It's going very well today.

Thank you for all your help.

I actually think I'm starting to inhabit this woman.

Jeremy, why don't you go over there and rehearse your line?

This is classic, really. Come on, will you?

You're the one who said she's nothing like you.

Oh, no, no. Freud would approve.

Thank you.

You know, in a way, it is like being involved with you.

Just without the bullshit.

Okay, everybody, listen up.

Come on, gather around, gather around.

Sir Roland has something to say.

Sir Roland, please.

Thank you, Carl.

I don't generally fraternize with the help, but as I have

no friends of my own, I'm going to invite you

all to my little shack in the country this weekend.

This will give you the chance to meet Nick Spencer, the...

star of our little fiasco,

and it will give me the opportunity to see

how pale and flabby your bodies are in swimming attire.

Even you two will come.

And of course, do not bring the child.

Thanks for going to the funeral with me.

Oh, it's fine.

Listen, it was on the way.

I know, but still.

I like to think of going to a funeral as a third

or a fourth date thing.

Well, I think it meant a lot to your Aunt Ida

that we were there. It really did.

I hope you didn't mind signing all those autographs.

Oh, no problem.

Hello.

Good, you arrived.

Now you can play, too.

We're trying to decide which root vegetable

Leon most resembles.

Now, Nancy's in the lead with turnip.

I don't think that's bulbous enough.

I think we'll just change first.

Be right back.

Bye.

Match me, Sydney.

It's Carl, sir.

Or Sydney. Sydney's fine.

Can I thank you again

for the funeral thing?

Would you stop?

Listen, I'm the one who should be thanking you.

But sometimes I lose touch with what it's like

to be with real people, people with real feelings.

But being with your family today and all their grief,

it was great.

I'm glad you liked it.

You know, I look at all those people downstairs

and think about the movie, thinking about my career.

It's all such bullshit.

But you, you're real people.

It's true.

It's true. I'm very real people.

Sometimes I'm amazed at just how real I am.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

What am I doing?

You just lost your uncle.

We weren't that close.

Do you think we look like we just had sex?

I don't know.

I hope so.

Martin, come to Brazil.

It's quite a transition.

Right now?

Shouldn't we at least stay for dinner?

You have to come visit.

We'll make love in the Brazilian rain forest

while we watch butterflies the size of a baby's head.

I've always wanted to do that.

We've just found each other.

Why should anything come between us?

Julia?

Nick Spencer.

Boy, have I been looking forward to working with you?

Oh, God, Nick. Hello.

So have I.

Hey, congratulations on that Olivier Award.

Oh, thanks.

But you know, it's reward enough just getting to play Dr. King.

God, this is great.

We have so much to talk about. We sure do.

Could you get me something to drink, Marvin?

It's an omen.

It's right.

I know it was so funny.

I'll try. Yes.

Yes, and thank you. You won't believe what...

Well, certainly it's fate that we've been brought together.

It's wonderful.

I'm so excited about this film. I am, too.

Most of us are men and women without a great gift.

And even without that, we're useful.

Too bad about you and Julie, sweetie.

What?

Just making conversation.

It's so hard maintaining a relationship

under these circumstances.

You see that gentleman over there in the white suit?

The most exciting and at the same time...

Who is he?

I am a poor man.

A waiter.

That's our executive producer, Alejandro Goldman.

You see, I envision a scene in which Richard Stone saves the

lives of three, no, four,

poor but beautiful fisherwomen.

Alas, they are so poor that they cannot even afford

the tops for their bikinis.

And do you see the woman over there in the floral number?

Yeah?

That's the wife.

I'm your wife.

If anyone is putting lipstick on your collar,

it's going to be me.

Hello, Francesca.

I see Alejandro's casting again.

That son of a bitch.

It wasn't always this way.

Really?

You're still angry?

You know how excited you get me when you're angry?

Your eyes dance, your cheeks look like fire.

Now, when I get pissed off, nothing.

Yeah, well, that's not going to happen to Julie and me.

They're Hollywood people.

I'm real people.

Really?

You see the woman over there wearing her own jewelry?

Oh, my God.

It's Roselle King. Yeah.

She comes to all my parties, but I don't think she likes me.

I can't imagine why.

Apparently, it's something I said.

That I still would be a hatcheck girl if I hadn't

married a couple of big-shot movie producers and romanced

another couple of big shots.

Naturally, I denied it.

Hello, Roland.

Oh, excuse me.

Hello, darling.

I don't believe we've met.

Now, what brings an attractive, interesting man like you to one

of Roland's dreary parties?

Come, I'd like to hear all about you.

It's all right, Roselle.

He's nobody.

Oh, pity.

Oh, look, there is Nick Spencer.

Oh, hello, darling.

Must be so nice to be real.

So the embassy provided these little ear devices

that would translate my English into Chinese.

During the entire two and a half-hour performance.

They just sat there, silent, like Stones.

Then the moment I finished my last soliloquy,

they began to stamp their feet on the dirt floor of the hut.

It was so gratifying,

because when you stop and think about it,

none of these villages have ever been exposed to theater,

let alone a one-man show.

Yeah, those were some lucky villagers.

Good, good.

A toast to our star, Nick Spencer.

Nick comes to us having just added the Olivier Award

to his already overstuffed trophy case.

What can we say, Nick?

Truly an inspiring list of accomplishments

made all the more impressive when one considers that he began

his career with his pants around his knees

in such light classics as Saturday Night Beaver.

Hats off to you, Nick.

Bottoms up.

Thank you, Roland.

Very few people remember my early work.

What happened to you?

I just got a flat on the Merritt Parkway,

and I didn't have a spare.

Oh, Jude.

You should always have a spare.

Judith, this is Nick Spencer.

Nick Spencer, this is Judith Tupper.

Of course.

Who else could it be?

Oh, God.

Nick Spencer.

I've seen every movie you've ever made.

No, you haven't.

Well, I'm honored to be playing your husband.

Is he here?

No, no, no, no.

Richard's off saving someone's life or something.

But what about you?

I understand you just got in from England.

Oh, yeah.

It's all been so crazy.

I'm a psychologist.

What's the matter with you?

You know, I didn't think it was possible, but Nick Spencer has

actually gotten better looking.

Yeah, but did you see the way he was scarfing

down those ribs at dinner?

He must have eaten a whole herd.

I don't know where he puts it. He's so thin.

Yeah, well, His ego sure isn't.

It's not surprising when you think about

everything he's accomplished.

Not just the acting

and the directing and the writing, but

all the work he's done to save the Seals and that telethon

that he has every year.

Yeah, well, I have to tell you, that is probably

my least favorite telethon.

Martin, you're not getting jealous, are you?

She's right on the button.

Me?

Why should I be jealous?

He's just a movie star.

I'm naked with you.

Come here.

Come on.

I really like your work.

Of course, I did something similar in Silent Are the Dead,

but I got an academy award nomination for it.

You were marvelous in that.

I don't know.

Something's wrong.

Someone's not concentrating.

Someone's not in the moment.

Nick, she's thinking about you.

It happens.

Look at her. It's written all over her face.

Oh, God.

I don't need to see this.

How could she be thinking about Nick?

Martin's a great guy. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, give the lady a break.

If you had a choice, who would you rather fantasize about?

A 37-year-old book editor with fallen arches?

Or Nick? I want to bite his bottom lip.

Spencer.

Nick.

Nick.

Nick.

Nick.

Action.

Okay, little fella.

Here we go. Fly.

Now.

Jeremy, did you see that?

Richard made the bird fly again.

Hey, we couldn't have done it without

Jeremy's popsicle stick.

Richard, you're incredible.

I'm so glad you're going to be my new dad.

Jeremy, here's the dollar.

I want you to go and buy you and your mom a popsicle.

He's a wonderful boy,

and you've done a terrific job raising him.

He loves you, you know.

He really loves you.

And you know what?

His mother loves you, too.

Please stop it.

And cut.

You may cut.

Cut. The man said, Cut.

Let's try it again. This time...

With more passion.

More passion?

Are you sure?

It was just a bird.

Okay, people, you heard the man.

Let's try this mother again, okay?

Next time on Dream On.

Don't worry about.

Nick isn't after Julia.

Really?

How do you know?

Because Nick is after me.

Says here he goes for anything with two legs and a pulse.

I saw them holding hands.

Well, if he asked her to the prom, you know it's over.

Regrets?

Yes, I have just one regret.

I love my husband, and I would never, ever do anything

to jeopardize my marriage.

I suppose this means I should cancel my tickets to Brazil.

Women.

I swear.

They're different than you and me.

Tell me about it.