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1
00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:36,896
This is the city.
New York.
2
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,866
I work here. I'm a secretary.
3
00:01:39,899 --> 00:01:42,202
But I got better things to do.
4
00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:44,771
And you heard about Claudia
in payroll?
5
00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:48,074
Twins. Not identical.
6
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,143
They think different fathers.
7
00:01:51,478 --> 00:01:53,513
This is the nerve center.
8
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:56,516
And no piece of gossip,
no matter how unfounded,
9
00:01:56,549 --> 00:01:58,418
gets past this desk.
10
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:00,320
Hello.
11
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:05,658
I knew it!
I told you they weren't real.
12
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:07,127
Real ones don't point up.
13
00:02:09,461 --> 00:02:13,165
Tonight's story
is about the juiciest bit
of office smarm
14
00:02:13,199 --> 00:02:16,002
ever to wash up
on this lady's blotter.
15
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:17,337
My name's Pedalbee.
16
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,606
It is Monday, 10:45.
17
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,475
"And then Zack's hand
found Marilyn's left tit
18
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:23,877
and squeezed it hard.
19
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,879
'More! More!' she cried.
20
00:02:25,912 --> 00:02:27,380
So he pounded into her.
21
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:29,182
Her soft body indistinguishable
22
00:02:29,215 --> 00:02:31,685
"from the tons of whale meat
lying beneath them."
23
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,523
Pretty great, huh?
24
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,325
That was beautiful.
25
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:42,162
Just beautiful.
26
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,836
I gotta tell you, Vernon, uh,
27
00:02:49,869 --> 00:02:51,771
for a romance novel,
28
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,273
it's not very,
29
00:02:53,306 --> 00:02:56,443
you know, romantic.
30
00:02:56,476 --> 00:02:57,711
Why?
31
00:02:57,744 --> 00:02:59,346
Well... well, first of all,
32
00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:00,914
th... there's the title.
33
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:02,282
Eat My Giant Love.
34
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:04,551
Yeah?
35
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,821
Let me come at you
a different way, Vernon.
36
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,558
There's a certain kind of
language one uses
37
00:03:11,591 --> 00:03:13,460
in writing romance.
38
00:03:13,493 --> 00:03:15,061
Like what?
39
00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:18,298
Like... like on page 25 here.
40
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:21,301
You know,
maybe you could use a word like,
41
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:25,138
uh, oh, I don't know,
like, "womanhood."
42
00:03:25,171 --> 00:03:27,107
Instead of this
animal reference.
43
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,808
Okay.
44
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:30,377
You know what I mean?
45
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,779
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, okay. All right.
46
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,716
"He freed his bulging power tool
47
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,385
and stuck it into her womanhood
48
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:40,353
again and again and again."
49
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:42,889
It's closer.
50
00:03:44,424 --> 00:03:47,894
Or, uh,
maybe something like, uh...
51
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,698
"Her pliant lips found his
52
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:54,634
in a lingering kiss
53
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:56,202
that throbbed like the ho of beats
54
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,672
of a thousand wild horses.
55
00:04:00,040 --> 00:04:01,675
He felt the fullness
of her bosom
56
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,878
"pressing against
his manly chest."
57
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,079
And then?
58
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:11,251
And then she screams,
"Oh, my God!
59
00:04:11,284 --> 00:04:13,787
14 inches of hot,
pulsating man meat!"
60
00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,122
It's, uh,
61
00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:17,957
sort of a work in progress.
62
00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,093
I think we're off
to a terrific start,
63
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,262
and I can't wait
to dig in again on Thursday.
64
00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:24,230
Sure. Thanks, Marty.
65
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,899
How can you touch him?
66
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,003
Hello, Betty.
67
00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:35,075
God, I hate this job!
68
00:04:37,210 --> 00:04:39,279
Thanks for the rescue.
69
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:41,114
I'm Valerie Knox.
70
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:43,183
Well, hello, Valerie Knox. I'm...
71
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,417
Joe Handsome.
72
00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,785
And if you've got any cracks
73
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,687
about my last name,
keep it to yourself.
74
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:48,755
I'm Martin Tupper.
75
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,358
Valerie Knox.
76
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,326
Why do I know that name?
77
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,195
I'm your new managing editor.
78
00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,033
D... did I say I hate this job?
79
00:05:00,066 --> 00:05:01,534
Because I didn't mean this job.
80
00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:03,703
It was a... a different job.
A summer job.
81
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:07,674
You know, there was a lot of
fried foods involved, and...
Can we start over again?
82
00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,343
Yeah.
Would you like to sit down?
83
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,212
Martin, I've been
looking over your work,
84
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:14,714
and you're a very good editor.
85
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:16,583
Oh, you think so?
86
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,318
Well, I could be wrong.
87
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:20,353
No, no, no.
No, I'm sure you're not.
88
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,022
Please, go ahead.
89
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:26,259
There's this project I brought
over from the Haymarket Press.
90
00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,928
The author is dead,
and I'm looking for someone
91
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,597
to work with me on it.
92
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:33,533
It's a little
out of your area, but...
Sold.
93
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:36,002
Don't you even
wanna hear what it is?
94
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,837
I already know what it is.
95
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:40,607
If it's out of my area,
that means it's not a diet book
96
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,709
or something with
a severed head on the cover.
97
00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:45,645
And so, please,
whatever it is, I'll take it.
98
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,616
Great.
I'm looking forward
to working together.
99
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,352
That's the most promising
statement
100
00:05:52,385 --> 00:05:54,054
anybody's made to me in years.
101
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,855
Okay.
102
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:58,191
9:37 p.m.
103
00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,860
While most of us are home
eating raw cookie dough,
104
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:04,064
the lights are still burning
at Whitestone Publishing.
105
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,066
I don't understand.
How can you do that?
106
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:08,935
It's easy, you... you just flip
chapters 30 and 31.
107
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:12,172
That way you don't have
all this first-person narration
back to back.
108
00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:13,540
Right. Right!
109
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,575
But that still doesn't solve
the problem
110
00:06:15,608 --> 00:06:16,743
with the last chapter.
111
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,144
Just cut it.
112
00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:20,880
You can't, it...
113
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,148
Oh, yes, you can.
114
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:23,350
That works!
115
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,285
Martin, you're brilliant.
116
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:30,757
You know my motto?
Never get excited.
117
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:35,362
Okay, uh, I like this part here
where you find
the nun's ear imprint...
118
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:39,132
What happens
if we kill the blind girl?
119
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:40,667
Oh, that's awful.
120
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,336
I like it.
121
00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:45,839
Now, who does it?
122
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,807
Uh, who does it? I don't know.
123
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:50,176
Um, maybe...
124
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,412
She kills herself!
125
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:54,014
That's it.
126
00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:56,049
Martin, you're fabulous.
127
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,120
That's enough. Plenty.
128
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,757
So, we, uh...
we leave the convent.
129
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:06,059
So the doctor doesn't know.
No, he doesn't know.
130
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:08,194
And Helga's not talking.
Right, right, right.
131
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,730
So... what about the maid?
132
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,466
Uh...
133
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:18,738
Fuck her!
134
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:27,881
Now we've had our little joke,
let us get on with the work.
135
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,850
I don't think this is
such a great idea.
136
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:35,021
You know, I mean,
you're my boss, and...
137
00:07:35,055 --> 00:07:38,091
It's fine. No problem. Really.
138
00:07:39,359 --> 00:07:41,961
Oh. Okay.
139
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,563
Then, uh,
140
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:45,365
why don't I make
a copy of these notes,
141
00:07:45,398 --> 00:07:47,634
and we can review it
in the morning.
142
00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:49,869
I'll walk out with you.
Okay.
143
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:53,406
Talk to me about chapter three.
Uh, well, I think
there's some problems,
144
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,908
but I... I know how to fix them.
145
00:07:54,941 --> 00:07:57,110
The section where she relives
146
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,645
her mother's death...
147
00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,680
Open with it.
Yes!
148
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,150
So then she...
Right.
149
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,886
Because she doesn't...
Right.
150
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:09,222
Oh! That's incredible!
151
00:08:09,255 --> 00:08:11,758
It makes her so pathetic!
152
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,460
Right!
153
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,161
Yes!
154
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:17,831
We've just been given
an important award
155
00:08:17,864 --> 00:08:18,998
for our work.
156
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,769
All right, people,
157
00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:24,838
I have a very specific way
of working.
158
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:29,376
Tuesday, 9:11 a.m.
159
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:31,344
The usual crew.
160
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:32,779
Linnea Wise.
161
00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,181
The only thing worse
than her taste in men,
162
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,883
is her taste in hats.
163
00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:40,220
Carter Stevenson.
164
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:43,189
Currently having an affair
with his secretary.
165
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:46,792
An Asian woman named Donna
who, unbeknownst to him,
166
00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:49,029
is also playing
"hide the spring roll"
167
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:52,265
with this man, Drew Barnett.
168
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,534
If her husband ever finds out,
169
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,603
they're both dead meat.
170
00:08:56,636 --> 00:08:59,339
Finally, Cindy Monroe.
171
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:01,274
The total professional.
172
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:04,644
The only sheets she gets between
are vellum and bond.
173
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,914
But she'll crack.
They always do.
174
00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:11,051
A meeting is in progress.
The plot thickens.
175
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:13,653
Carter, I'd like you
on The Codependency Cookbook.
176
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,055
Okey-dokey.
177
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,923
And Drew and Linnea,
178
00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,225
you two split up
the next four cotillion novels.
179
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,062
Oh, great.
I have so much in common
with debutantes.
180
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:24,330
Join the club.
Mm.
181
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:27,967
And Martin, I'm taking you off
Eat My Giant Love.
182
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:29,336
Oh, but why?
183
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,137
He's this close
to turning Vernon
184
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:32,872
into the next Barbara Cartland.
185
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,140
If she had crabs.
186
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:36,076
Cindy,
I want you to take him on.
187
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:37,444
What?
188
00:09:37,477 --> 00:09:39,846
I'm supposed to go
from an Eisenhower biography
189
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,815
to a book
that comes with a Wet-Nap?
190
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:44,984
I'm sorry, Cindy,
but I need to clear
Martin's schedule.
191
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,755
He's going to be handling
the next Angus Macnie novel.
192
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:49,823
Really?
193
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:54,928
I can't believe it.
194
00:09:54,961 --> 00:09:56,329
Neither can I.
195
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,433
All right, people, that's it.
196
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:02,302
Status reports by four o'clock.
197
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,672
Way to cozy up
to your new staff.
198
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:08,041
I hate her.
What's with her hair? Bitch.
199
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:09,476
Boy, is she strict.
200
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,446
Cindy, I'm really sorry
about the Vernon thing.
201
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,850
No, really, I'm...
I'm sure I'll love him.
202
00:10:16,883 --> 00:10:18,718
I've had my shots.
203
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:21,054
Ooh, I'm getting off
of your street, buster.
204
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,223
Valerie.
205
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:25,992
Thank you so much.
206
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,361
Angus Macnie!
207
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,729
My whole career,
208
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,499
this is the kind of thing
I've been waiting for.
209
00:10:32,532 --> 00:10:35,301
I'm not gonna let you down.
I know you won't.
210
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,037
You're extremely talented.
211
00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:39,439
Mm!
212
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,210
Valerie, uh,
213
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,545
last night was really...
214
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,613
Explosive.
215
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,815
Involuntary.
Delicious.
216
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,216
Nice.
217
00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,686
You know, but I'm... I'm just
a little concerned about
218
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,989
this affecting our, you know,
working relationship.
219
00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:00,026
Oh,
I think this can only enhance
our working relationship.
220
00:11:00,060 --> 00:11:03,563
In the early days of our nation,
barter was a customary
method of trade.
221
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,331
Martin,
222
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,468
you and I are going to
make great books together.
223
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,304
We are?
224
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,073
I feel like a shower.
225
00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,307
Care to join me?
226
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,776
Uh, well, I...
I just took one really.
227
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:17,844
Uh.
228
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,180
Valerie.
229
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:24,084
I wouldn't want people
to get the wrong idea.
230
00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:27,687
Martin, nobody ever has to know.
231
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,089
It's practically impossible
232
00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:30,757
to commit any act
in a large city
233
00:11:30,790 --> 00:11:32,659
without being noticed
by someone.
234
00:11:36,062 --> 00:11:38,031
11:32 a.m.
235
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,767
Yours truly enters the story.
236
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,802
So, I was in the Xerox room
this morning
237
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,604
copying your expense report,
238
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,640
and look what I found
collated in the bin.
239
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:50,910
A couple of sex-crazed employees
240
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:52,512
playing tushy tag!
241
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,347
I didn't do it. I'm innocent!
242
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,082
Mm, y... you don't say.
243
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,518
Talk about photoreproduction.
244
00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:01,054
You want a set?
Everybody's got them.
245
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:03,123
Look, if you do this,
246
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,624
it kinda like makes a movie.
247
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,593
D... don't you have
any work to do?
248
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,294
Who would do such a thing?
249
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:11,731
What kind of twisted,
oversexed pervert?
250
00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,166
Hmm, I... I wouldn't know.
251
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,102
Maybe the kind who
wears this watch!
252
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:19,372
Shh!
253
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:20,874
Slut!
254
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,244
Toby.
How could you, Martin?
255
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:26,146
On an office product, no less!
256
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,213
Toby, shut up!
257
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:32,519
And we don't even own it.
It's leased!
258
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:33,753
Who is she, Martin?
259
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:35,822
Is it the one
in the typing pool?
260
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,557
With the big sweater?
261
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,893
No!
I know she's someone
in the office.
262
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,529
It is not someone
from this office!
You're lying!
263
00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:45,298
If I'm lying,
may my Aunt Edna drop dead!
264
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,070
I'm gonna find her, Martin.
265
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,938
And if it means
I have to work late,
266
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,907
well, you'll just pay
the overtime.
267
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,713
Martin! Have you seen these?
268
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:01,915
It's hysterical. Check it out.
269
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:04,451
Is she double-jointed or what?
And when you flip 'em,
270
00:13:04,484 --> 00:13:07,087
it's like watching a movie
or something, it's just...
271
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:14,394
Carter, you slay me!
272
00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:16,329
Here, take one.
Everybody's got one.
273
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:19,599
I reckon by now they've
heard your name 50, 60 miles
in every direction.
274
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,434
Scotty! Scotty, come here!
275
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:26,606
People know!
276
00:13:27,774 --> 00:13:29,175
You want a plum?
277
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,610
No, I don't want a plum!
278
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,846
Look, there's even
a commemorative photo album!
279
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,481
I've seen it.
280
00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:36,149
It's kind of cute,
don't you think?
281
00:13:36,182 --> 00:13:37,917
Did you notice
that if you flip them...
282
00:13:37,951 --> 00:13:40,186
Valerie, th... this has gotten
way out of hand.
283
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,822
You sure you don't want a plum?
It's from New Zealand.
284
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,293
Martin, we are fine.
285
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,729
Guess what I have decided to do.
286
00:13:49,763 --> 00:13:51,798
What?
Fax copies to your friends?
287
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,966
No.
288
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,301
Nominate you
for the Hubner Award.
289
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,038
Oh, my God.
290
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,340
The Hubner Award?
291
00:14:00,373 --> 00:14:01,975
A responsible person
292
00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,677
doesn't take things
he hasn't earned.
293
00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:05,111
Thank you.
294
00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:08,314
I was thinking we'd do
some more chapters tonight.
295
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:10,183
We still have to figure out
296
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:12,686
how that priest loses his leg.
297
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:16,956
Uh, I sort of
made plans for this evening.
298
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,692
Sort of cancel them.
299
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,627
If you're trying to
get out of this now,
300
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,962
then it's time to do something
more than just talk.
301
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,831
When for the first time
you have to give
302
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,066
instead of only taking.
303
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:29,636
Then go on. Walk out the door.
304
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:32,105
Only, don't come back.
305
00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:33,540
Five o'clock okay for you?
306
00:14:33,573 --> 00:14:35,075
Mm-hmm.
307
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:37,877
And that's when things
308
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:40,413
really begin to change
for our Mr. Tupper.
309
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:41,948
Morning, Toby.
310
00:14:41,981 --> 00:14:43,416
Morning, Mr. Tupper.
311
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,224
Didn't you ever dream
that you'd be something
when you grew up?
312
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:57,764
Excuse me.
313
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:44,544
Meanwhile,
I continue my investigation.
314
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,648
Thursday, 11:35 am.
315
00:15:48,682 --> 00:15:49,816
The lineup.
316
00:16:06,533 --> 00:16:08,501
Friday, 1:15 p.m.
317
00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,303
Subject's son comes to visit.
318
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,639
Strange behavior is noted.
319
00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:15,975
So, uh, what exactly
does an editor do?
320
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:17,777
Anybody know?
Just tell them, Dad.
321
00:16:17,811 --> 00:16:19,212
Oh, okay.
322
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:21,514
Well, uh,
an editor works with agents,
323
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:22,882
and we acquire properties.
324
00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:24,784
And we work with writers
on their books.
325
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,852
Most of all...
326
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,659
We, uh... we have lunch!
327
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:34,361
Who wants hot dogs?
You coming, Toby?
328
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,864
Monday, 4:38 p.m.
329
00:16:37,897 --> 00:16:41,101
Elevator troubles put a crimp
in my investigations.
330
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:43,570
This damn thing never works.
331
00:16:45,071 --> 00:16:47,440
I'm gonna take the stairs.
332
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:51,111
Come on!
333
00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,882
Are we ever gonna do this
in a bed?
334
00:16:55,915 --> 00:16:58,785
Oh, Martin,
doesn't this excite you?
335
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,721
Just the idea that at any moment
we might be discovered.
336
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,591
I'm not excited, I'm annoyed.
337
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:07,160
And that bell
doesn't bother you at all?
338
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,228
Martin!
339
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,766
Chapter 26?
340
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:15,168
Keep it right before 27.
My thoughts exactly.
341
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,455
Wow!
342
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,691
I pulled a few strings.
343
00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:41,361
I don't know what to say.
344
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,963
Well, don't say anything.
Just take off your pants.
345
00:17:43,997 --> 00:17:46,466
I have to be downtown
in a meeting in 15 minutes.
346
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,671
What are you waiting for?
347
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:54,207
Uh...
348
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,710
What you will yourself to do,
349
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,078
you can will not to do.
350
00:17:58,111 --> 00:17:59,779
You know, actually,
351
00:17:59,813 --> 00:18:01,614
I have an appointment too.
352
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:02,916
With whom?
353
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,885
Uh, my ear, nose and throat guy.
354
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:09,422
Oh, what's wrong?
Gee, I'm not sure.
355
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:12,492
It could be my ear,
it could be my nose,
it could even be my throat.
356
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:15,829
That's... that's why
I have to see the guy.
But, uh, this is great. Thanks.
357
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,898
I... I really appreciate it.
And watch out for that downtown
traffic.
358
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,800
Okay? Bye.
359
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,106
Hey, Vernon.
Hey, Marty. How are you?
360
00:18:26,139 --> 00:18:27,974
How you doing?
Great.
361
00:18:28,008 --> 00:18:31,444
Hey, I gotta tell you,
Cindy here's got much
better legs than you do.
362
00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:33,613
It's so nice to be appreciated.
363
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,615
Martin,
congratulations on the cover.
364
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,783
Thanks.
365
00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:38,184
You earned it.
366
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,087
Horizontally.
367
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,724
I'm not a bad boy!
368
00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,760
I'm not a bad boy!
369
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,832
Friday, 11:47 am.
370
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:55,402
I have narrowed the field down
to two suspects.
371
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,103
Janine from marketing
372
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:00,040
who looks like
she was in a bad henna accident,
373
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,308
and Ronda,
the tramp receptionist
374
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:03,743
with the trick hip.
375
00:19:03,777 --> 00:19:05,445
My investigation is on hold
376
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,048
while I attend
to some clerical duties.
377
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:09,883
No, no. No. Come on.
378
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:12,485
Come on. Valerie, please.
Please, not here.
379
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:13,887
Not in front of the folders.
380
00:19:17,057 --> 00:19:19,592
Martin, what is the matter?
381
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,961
You don't seem to be having
much time for me lately.
382
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:24,330
I'm sorry, it's just that
there's all this new work,
383
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,933
you know, and I never know
when you're gonna strike next.
384
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,336
If you're complaining,
385
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:32,572
I could arrange for you to have
a lot less work.
386
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:34,040
What?
387
00:19:34,074 --> 00:19:35,208
Or if you'd rather,
388
00:19:35,241 --> 00:19:37,377
there are plenty of
algebra books
389
00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:38,745
that need editing.
390
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,048
A handshake will be binding.
391
00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:43,216
Now what is it you want?
392
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,218
Kiss me.
Your soul.
393
00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:47,887
Come on. Kiss me.
394
00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:57,630
Hey, uh, somebody's watching.
395
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,066
What is it?
396
00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:01,568
No, it's nothing. It's nothing.
397
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,570
It's just...
it's just an envelope.
398
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,577
Excuse me.
399
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,284
I'm going to lunch.
400
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:23,590
We don't want that woman here
when I get back.
401
00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:24,657
Fire her.
402
00:20:24,691 --> 00:20:26,359
No, no. No. No. Valerie.
403
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,728
Please, I... I can't do that.
404
00:20:28,762 --> 00:20:29,963
Oh, I think you can.
405
00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:32,565
Martin, maybe it's time
406
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,668
that you reevaluate
your priorities.
407
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:36,469
Things are moving, Martin.
408
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,606
I see tremendous possibilities
for you.
409
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:42,342
But I need to know
that you're on my team.
410
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:48,915
I can't bring myself to bite
and claw and kick the way
you have to if you want success.
411
00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,283
That's one price I won't pay.
412
00:20:50,316 --> 00:20:52,318
Okay.
413
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:55,622
Sit down.
414
00:20:58,391 --> 00:21:00,060
Toby...
415
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:03,396
You're fired!
that's the worst place
you could've been.
416
00:21:03,430 --> 00:21:05,732
Oh, I don't know.
I think I had pretty good seats.
417
00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:09,903
Valerie Knox.
I'm very impressed.
418
00:21:11,738 --> 00:21:12,772
We have to talk.
419
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:13,940
You're telling me.
420
00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:15,775
Shall we discuss
my list of demands?
421
00:21:15,809 --> 00:21:17,010
Toby...
422
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:18,978
You're fired!
423
00:21:19,012 --> 00:21:20,046
Get out of here!
424
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,548
This is very hard for me.
425
00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,383
Well, it's about to get harder.
426
00:21:23,416 --> 00:21:24,851
Longer lunch hours.
427
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:27,187
More sick days, say, 20.
428
00:21:27,220 --> 00:21:28,421
Extra coffee breaks.
429
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,523
Number to be negotiated later.
430
00:21:30,557 --> 00:21:32,726
And, uh,
three weeks paid vacation.
431
00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:33,793
What do you say?
432
00:21:33,827 --> 00:21:35,095
You're fired.
433
00:21:38,832 --> 00:21:41,267
The negotiations
take an unexpected turn.
434
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,538
I'm sorry, but I've...
435
00:21:45,572 --> 00:21:48,508
I've recently had to reevaluate
my priorities.
436
00:21:48,541 --> 00:21:50,276
It seems like
you've been reevaluating
437
00:21:50,310 --> 00:21:51,344
all over the building.
438
00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:54,180
It's her, isn't it?
439
00:21:59,519 --> 00:22:01,254
I... I really am sorry.
440
00:22:01,287 --> 00:22:02,455
I see.
441
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:04,991
Okay.
442
00:22:05,025 --> 00:22:06,926
Wait a minute.
What do you mean "Okay"?
443
00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,963
I mean, okay.
444
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:13,133
Martin, I'm a good secretary.
I'll get another job.
445
00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:15,669
But you, you've got a career.
446
00:22:15,702 --> 00:22:17,504
Things are really happening
for you.
447
00:22:17,537 --> 00:22:19,372
So, if you gotta
piss on a few people
448
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:20,840
to make your garden grow...
449
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,125
Don't you knock?
450
00:22:39,159 --> 00:22:41,127
Let's just get a few things
straight here!
451
00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:43,730
There comes a time when a man
must stop being afraid!
452
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:45,298
I'm not firing Toby.
453
00:22:45,331 --> 00:22:46,800
I didn't think you would.
454
00:22:46,833 --> 00:22:49,135
She's too important to me.
Fine.
455
00:22:49,169 --> 00:22:51,871
And if you wanna fire me, that's
okay, because I don't care!
456
00:22:51,905 --> 00:22:53,039
You're not fired.
457
00:22:53,073 --> 00:22:55,041
Y... you're goddamn right
I'm not fired!
458
00:22:55,075 --> 00:22:58,044
Because I'm good at what I do!
I deserve the breaks
I've gotten!
459
00:22:58,078 --> 00:22:59,179
That's true.
460
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:00,947
And as for you and me,
it's over.
461
00:23:00,980 --> 00:23:02,782
I'm sorry, but it's over.
462
00:23:02,816 --> 00:23:03,983
I know.
463
00:23:05,018 --> 00:23:06,052
You know?
464
00:23:06,086 --> 00:23:07,487
I saw it coming.
465
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:11,324
Cindy.
Martin.
466
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:14,928
Hello, there.
Welcome to the party.
467
00:23:17,430 --> 00:23:19,099
Oh.
468
00:23:19,132 --> 00:23:21,401
I see you two are working.
469
00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:26,272
Well, I'll be going.
470
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:29,676
Have a nice meeting.
471
00:23:36,149 --> 00:23:37,751
Chapter 13.
472
00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:40,320
Now, let's focus on character.
473
00:23:46,659 --> 00:23:48,828
Toby, I need the status
of the Albrecht galleys,
474
00:23:48,862 --> 00:23:51,331
a cup of coffee, and could you,
uh, unpack this please?
475
00:23:52,699 --> 00:23:53,733
No problem.
476
00:23:56,336 --> 00:23:57,437
Thanks.
477
00:24:00,206 --> 00:24:02,242
Uh, welcome back.
478
00:24:03,376 --> 00:24:05,145
We'll discuss my raise later.
479
00:24:12,852 --> 00:24:14,854
Things happen pretty quick
around here.
480
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:21,695
Excuse me.
481
00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:28,001
Well, you can't win them all.
482
00:24:31,137 --> 00:24:32,172
Marty.
483
00:24:33,606 --> 00:24:34,808
Vernon?
484
00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:38,778
So, I hear we're gonna be
working together again.
485
00:24:40,046 --> 00:24:41,081
Are we?
486
00:24:43,216 --> 00:24:45,485
Uh, I guess we are.
487
00:24:45,518 --> 00:24:47,754
What are you all
standing around like idiots for?
488
00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:50,223
Get back to work!
489
00:24:50,256 --> 00:24:53,426
Now, about my new book,
490
00:24:53,460 --> 00:24:55,295
Lick Me, Lucy.
491
00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:59,165
The story
you have just seen is true.
492
00:24:59,199 --> 00:25:00,700
The names were kept the same
493
00:25:00,734 --> 00:25:04,104
so you'd know exactly
who the sleazeballs were.
33956
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