Original subtitles

Morning.

You know, I've got a real good feeling about this filly.

Yes, sir.

A real good feeling.

Good book? If you like Dworkin.

I wouldn't know. I've never "dworked."

God, that's bad.

It's early. Oh.

Jesus Christ, I hate this.

I hate when people take my stuff out of the dryer.

I mean, look. It's still wet.

Son of a bitch!

There must be 27 pairs of jeans in here.

Can you believe some asshole...

They're mine.

Oh, man.

Did I say "asshole"?

You should've been here

when the dryer stopped.

That's very helpful, thank you.

You can have it when I'm done.

Oh, great, these should be done

by what, July?

What am I supposed to wear to work?

What's wrong with what you have on?

Look, don't break my balls, okay?

I am not breaking your balls, if I wanted to break your balls,

we'd be talking about your detergent.

What? What's wrong with my detergent?

Nothing.

The little boxes are cute. What are you starting?

Your own personal landfill?

Ah, one of those. "One of those"?

Do you know what is in this stuff?

Riboflavin?

Look, if you want to kill fish,

I can get you a great deal on gill nets.

Fish, how did this get to be about fish?

This is about you taking my stuff out before it's done.

It was done, it just wasn't dry. There's a difference.

Fine.

I like your Tweety Bird underwear.

Well, I don't wear them.

What? Do you just wash them?

It's a rag, okay? What's with you anyway?

You pull someone's laundry out before it's done,

and what, then you make fun of it?

Aha.

Wait a minute, they're not dry. But they're done.

There's a difference. Put them back!

No. Goddamn it! Let go!

Ow! Ow, ow, my eye.

What? What? What? What is it? My lens, is it in there?

Can you see it? Is it in my eye?

Yeah.

Yeah, it's in there.

Do you tango?

Naturally.

I've never... Me neither.

Martin. Nina.

Nina, do you... Yeah?

By some chance... Yes?

Have a condom? No.

Upstairs.

This is the kind of rocket they'll be using.

Three stage, one,

two and three.

But this is the thing that concerns us particularly.

The third stage.

Big rocket is off.

Yes, General Tor's

big rocket was off,

climbing into the atmosphere

with a tremendous thrust of power.

Savage, uncontrolled.

The beast had broken loose into outer space,

and become orbital.

Twisting, turning, and riding high above the earth.

There. There it is.

Hmm, is it on course?

Yes, I'd say so.

Oh, God.

That was...

That was epic.

Oh, God!

I gotta call work.

Uh... It's over there.

Okay.

The runaway rocket

kept twisting, turning, somersaulting

through outer space,

while the whole world waited helplessly.

Martin, it's Toby.

Where the hell are you? You missed two appointments.

I hope you got a good excuse, like you're pinned under a bus.

Oh, this isn't gonna work.

Oh, sure it is. Put your foot over there.

Hold onto this, oh, that's it.

Yeah.

Oh, okay. Try this.

Come on, tell me.

All right. All right.

Shirley Booth. Shirley Booth?

You had a crush on Hazel? Yeah.

She was pretty sexy back then, you know.

"Many possibilities are open to you, work a little harder."

Tupper.

Oh, no. No, no.

No, no more.

No... Ow! Ow!

Maybe a little more.

That was new.

Oh, God, I really gotta get ready for work.

You know, it's late.

It's Tuesday.

Oh, see ya.

You know, I... I had a really nice time.

Oh.

Oh!

Oh, the rough stuff, huh?

Okay.

Bye.

No. No. No, work.

Work, I gotta go to work.

Oh.

I gotta go to work.

You're not dead?

Morning, Toby.

You've got a hell of a nerve

showing up here with all your limbs intact.

Where were you yesterday?

Hey. Hey!

Buffalo Bill's in your office.

Thank you.

Mr. Manville. Oh, good.

Good to see you. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a great hat you got there.

I loved Wasps in the Wind. It's a great work.

Oh, thank you, son. Thank ya.

Oh.

Figured you'd like this here skull.

Who wouldn't?

Yeah.

I just had a few thoughts about your final chapters here.

Now, I gotta tell you, you really...

How's that?

Uh, you know,

it's... it's not just your colorful vision of the Old West.

No, it's... it's...

It's your eyes.

There's a darkness of the past in them.

Mystery and beauty.

Uh, and... and here on page 196

where you describe the massacre at Bent Fork Pass,

your... your...

Your eyes dance.

Your cheeks look like fire.

And... and as for chapter 16, it's fantastic, really,

I wouldn't touch a word, in fact, you... you...

You don't have to work.

You can sit home, and paint your toenails, and just look beautiful.

Uh, well, it's a best seller.

What can I tell you?

You can tell me where you get off talking about my toenails.

Ah. Jim!

Oh, Jim!

What?

Uh...

is Nina here?

Who the fuck are you?

I'm Martin. Nina's...

electrician.

I can come back.

Jan, please. Martin, wait.

I'm sorry, I'm kind of in the middle of something here.

No, no, no, no, I think it's me that's in the middle.

That's him?

That's right! That's him!

Tupper, can I come in?

You didn't bring Sven? His name is Jan.

He's my boyfriend.

You have a boyfriend? It's over, Tupper!

It's over now, but you had him yesterday?

I didn't see any pictures of him around.

Did you even know you had him?

Why didn't you tell me?

If you remember, you and I were a little busy.

Why spoil the festivities with a few facts.

What else didn't you tell me?

I'm not telling you to fuck off,

but I'm getting really close.

Fine, look, I just wanna ask you one thing.

Do you tango?

Are you gonna keep seeing him? Damn it! I told you it's over.

I just needed the right moment to tell him.

Oh, so that's what I was? The right moment?

No, Tupper, you were a sport fuck on the floor of the laundry room.

A what?

Sure, I do it every morning, instead of aerobics.

This is bullshit. I don't need this.

You're not worth it.

Yes, I am.

We were born to dance together.

You drive me fucking crazy.

Shut up, and take off your pants.

Big rocket is off.

Oh, yes, master.

Yeah. Hi. It's us.

Hi, Dad. Um...

uh, c... come on up.

Is that your ex-wife? Should I leave?

Are you gonna get weird? No, no, no.

Uh, could you put these on please?

Maybe a little weird.

You know, I'm sorry. It's really no big deal.

It's been almost two years, and she's engaged to this world-famous doctor.

Who? Richard Stone.

The Richard Stone?

Why can't that guy stay out of my life?

What about him?

I met him at a toxics dinner.

He's kind of a pompous ass.

I'm sorry.

Oh, no, no, you're wonderful.

Uh...

Hi, Dad. Hey, buddy, how you doing? Hi.

Oh, I... I... No, no, no.

I... I want you to meet someone.

Uh, Judith, Jeremy,

this is my friend, uh, Nina Ferrara.

Hello. Nice to meet you.

Hi. Hi.

Uh, why don't you go play Pig's Quest?

Why don't I?

Just don't eat the cruller.

Whatever. Uh, yeah.

Get outta here.

So...

Well...

Hands off, do you hear?

I don't know what you mean.

Oh, yes, you do, you little poacher.

You leave Tom alone. He belongs to me.

Well...

There. That's much better.

Well...

I'm glad you two could meet.

Maybe I should go.

Yes.

Thanks for breakfast. Anytime. Yes.

Yeah. Oh.

Call me. Yeah.

Well, she seems nice.

Who is she? Uh...

she... she lives in the building.

How convenient.

She works for the group that cleaned up the beach.

You know where we went that time, with the things?

You mean with those people. Uh-huh.

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah.

God, you know, I...

I've never been involved with anyone like this before.

Well, I'm really happy for you.

Your shirt's on inside-out.

Oh.

Yeah, she's... she's interesting, you know?

She's really... really different.

Well, I am really, really happy for you.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, she's...

God, she's...

She's got a touch of Audrey Hepburn.

She's got a hint of Bergman.

She's got something of Jennifer Jones.

She sure looks great in that shirt I gave you.

Whoo, I gotta go. Uh...

Nice hickey. Thanks.

Look, I guess we'll talk later, huh?

"You have touched both my life and my laundry."

Oh, no, no, please, please, don't read any more, come on.

"You have touched both my life and my laundry,

Awakened my poetic muse.

Your kisses have put me in a quandary,

And melt both the heels

"off my shoes."

Oh, God, is it over yet?

Oh, God.

No one has ever written me

a poem that is so sexy.

Ignore it, you romantic fool.

You know what to do and when to do it, bye.

Hello, Nina. It's Jan.

Oh, God, what's his last name, Interruptus?

Are you there? Nina? No, no, no. No.

Hello, Jan, why are you calling?

Oh, shit, Jan, for what?

Okay, okay, okay, okay. I'll be right down.

What? What? Is he downstairs?

He's in jail.

Oh, that's terrific.

You didn't have to come, all right?

No, I didn't, I could've just stepped aside,

and let you and Lars do the "Jailhouse Rock."

His name is Jan. What did Jan do? Steal a Volvo?

No. Some other Swedish crime?

What he did is break into the labs at Lady Hair-So-Nice.

There are easier ways to get a shampoo.

It's not funny, he released over 800 test rabbits.

And that's not funny?

Hi.

Now you're mad with me. I am not mad at you, Jan.

I just miss you. That's all.

Cute couple. Lovely.

Can... can we get this moving, guys?

So, you're dumping me for him?

He's so smallish.

This has nothing to do with him.

Hello!

I see this happen all the time.

Once the guy's in jail, the girlfriend can't get enough of him.

Thanks for the tip.

One pair tried to, you know, do it.

Right through the screen. Could you stop, please?

I've seen a little jail time

save an otherwise doomed relationship.

How much is the goddamn bail?

What?

You shouldn't have paid. I told you not to do it for me.

I didn't do it for you, I did it for Thor.

I love Thor, and apparently so do you.

Oh, please, look, I'm not gonna have this fight with you.

Who am I gonna have it with?

Look, what do you want me to say?

I'm sorry? All right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry about Jan. I'm sorry about jail.

I'm sorry I flicked peas at Ann Flemke in third grade.

I'm sorry! All right? Okay! Fine!

Just answer me one question!

What?

Do you tango?

Hi, this is Nina.

You know what to do, and when to do it. Bye.

Hi, Nina. It's Martin.

I just wanted to hear your voice.

Uh, I guess the machine will have to do for now.

Let's get together tonight. Uh, dinner, maybe.

Oh, I'm at the office, in case you didn't get the other five messages.

So, uh, call me, uh, bye.

Hi. This is Nina.

You know what to do, and when to do it. Bye.

Uh, hi, it's me. It's 11:30.

Uh, look, I'm...

I'm sorry to keep calling you so much, you know.

Uh, I don't know where you are, you know,

but I'm... I'm not worried.

You're probably out saving a tree.

So, uh, I don't know.

Look, call me.

Every time I'm near her, I'm petrified.

And when I'm away from her, I can't sleep, I can't eat.

I'm nervous, I have a burning fever.

Oh, I need her.

Why don't you and me go out bowling tonight?

It's not the same.

Kinda late to do laundry. The dryers are free.

Oh, look.

My laundry's politically correct.

God, I really missed you today.

Me too.

That's what makes this so hard to say.

Oh, no.

You're back with Thor. I knew it.

You just... You just can't stay away from him, can you?

He's just too... He's too strapping!

Calm down, Tupper. I'm through with Thor... Jan.

What I really want is to be with you.

Oh.

I just can't right now.

I can't go from one relationship to another.

I need some space.

Space?

How much space?

I don't know. Some. A fair amount.

But we have something really great here.

I'm sorry, Martin. I just need a little time.

Time?

What happened to space? Tupper.

How... how much time?

I don't know.

What? A week? More than a week.

A year? Don't.

A month? A month and two days?

A month and five days? Stop it!

Two months and a dinette set!

Look, what do you want me to say?

Oh, darling, somehow, some way,

I'm... I'm going to make all this up to you.

How I'm supposed to feel? You have a choice between me and nothing.

And you choose nothing? That's not what I'm saying.

Then what are you saying? You know what I'm saying!

All I know is that you're leaving.

Tupper, you're not making this any easier.

Oh, I'm sorry, is that my job?

You're the hurting person. I'm the making-it-easier person?

Fine, I'll just lie down here, and you could back your truck over me.

Or... or you can bike over me, if that's more environmentally sound.

You know this couldn't have worked. Yeah, that's right.

Because we've never had a relationship!

It was just great sex and great fights.

Tupper, don't flatter yourself. The fights weren't so great.

What?

One more thing!

Do you tango?

Naturally.

I tell you, there's nothing better than a good love story.