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1
00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:36,596
Actually, I... I got a little
confused in chapter three.
2
00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:39,833
Now, the countess is caught
in bed with the Arabian?
3
00:01:39,866 --> 00:01:42,502
Right, and, uh,
who's the Arabian?
4
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:45,872
Oh, oh, then
I did read it right.
5
00:01:45,905 --> 00:01:48,074
Wh... why is she having
an affair with her horse?
6
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,577
Oh, no, I've got to have
a horse today!
7
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,946
Look, I'll get back
to you on that.
8
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,649
You have a sister!
9
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,686
That's allowed, isn't it?
I listen to your phone calls.
10
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,121
I read your personal mail.
11
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:04,357
How come I never heard
of this Susan sister person?
12
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:07,660
What is this, was my family
a category on Jeopardy!
or something?
13
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,295
Hey, Martin!
14
00:02:09,329 --> 00:02:10,764
Hey, Beano!
15
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:16,970
Mr. Tupper will see you now.
16
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:18,872
You always do this.
You never call.
17
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:21,207
I know, I know.
You have a terrible sister.
18
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:24,210
When did you get
in the country?
Oh, about three cab rides ago.
19
00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:26,579
I... Oh, wait, wait, wait,
before I forget,
20
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,648
Look what I brought you
this trip.
21
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,183
Ooh.
22
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:31,751
You got through
customs with that?
23
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,988
It's awful, isn't it?
24
00:02:35,021 --> 00:02:37,090
When I bought it,
they swore it was sacred,
25
00:02:37,123 --> 00:02:39,659
and I think it might be
the Ubangi version of Garfield.
26
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,996
How long you in town for?
Just until Sunday.
27
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:45,265
In fact, can I use your phone?
Go. Go. Go.
28
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:49,402
Isn't she cute?
29
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:51,871
The Polish consulate, please.
30
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,006
How's Jeremy?
31
00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:55,008
I sent him a package
while I was in...
32
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:58,044
Is Czeslaw Milosz in? I'll hold.
33
00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:00,914
The reason we call her Beano is,
on her third birthday,
34
00:03:00,947 --> 00:03:03,817
she shoved a bean up
her nose so far...
Shut up, Martin.
35
00:03:04,851 --> 00:03:06,720
Milosz. I just got in.
36
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:08,221
What?
37
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,357
I already went over
the revisions with Lech.
38
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:12,492
No, I can't be
in Gdansk until Sunday.
39
00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,527
I'm translating
at the UN this week.
40
00:03:14,561 --> 00:03:16,930
Bullshit, Milosz,
You tell the labor leaders
41
00:03:16,963 --> 00:03:19,399
that we have a contract
and I expect them to honor it.
42
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:22,102
Please straighten
this out, Milosz.
I want that job.
43
00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:25,171
Thanks, you're a doll.
44
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,077
Is something wrong?
45
00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:33,513
No. No. No, nothing.
46
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:34,814
Great. We can play.
47
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,751
Think again, Beano.
48
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,252
Your brother here
has the galleys
49
00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:42,055
for the Pinkhurst manuscript
due Friday.
50
00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:45,025
Should've called.
Shit.
51
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:48,228
Uh, look, maybe I can plow
through it all tonight at home.
52
00:03:48,261 --> 00:03:50,363
Okay, but you're mine
for the rest of the week.
53
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:52,232
It's a deal.
54
00:03:52,265 --> 00:03:55,235
I don't like to
think of you running around
New York alone, though.
55
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,237
That's all right.
I'll give Eddie a call.
56
00:03:57,270 --> 00:04:00,473
Yeah. Yeah. That's an idea.
Yeah.
57
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:01,741
That's a great idea.
58
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,547
Sorry.
No, it's okay.
59
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:11,384
I'll see if I can get him
at the office, you know, maybe...
60
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,219
Martin Tupper
for Eddie Charles, please.
61
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,922
Hey, he has
his own talk show now.
62
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:17,223
I know.
63
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,593
You know, I really
can't promise anything.
64
00:04:20,627 --> 00:04:23,296
You know, his social schedule
gets kinda stacked up.
65
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,002
Eddie? Look I need a favor.
66
00:04:29,035 --> 00:04:30,904
Uh, you got
any plans for tonight?
67
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:34,341
Diane and I have
reservations at Jezebel's.
68
00:04:34,374 --> 00:04:37,577
Diane, huh?
Is that the one who knows
more positions than Gumby?
69
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,079
That's the one.
70
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:42,515
Oh, uh, look, Beano's in town...
71
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:45,185
Susan.
Susan's in town?
72
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,920
Well, anything for family.
73
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,556
You tell her
I'll pick her up at 8:00.
Wait, wait, wait.
74
00:04:49,589 --> 00:04:52,325
What about...
uh, what about Miss Gumby?
75
00:04:52,359 --> 00:04:53,793
I'll cancel.
76
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,261
What?
77
00:04:56,262 --> 00:04:57,430
You got a date.
78
00:04:58,331 --> 00:04:59,399
Great.
79
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,869
So, Chancellor Kohl says,
80
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:05,372
"What part
of West Germany are you from?"
81
00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,240
I say, "I'm an American."
82
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:10,143
He sets down his drink,
and you know what he says?
83
00:05:10,176 --> 00:05:13,380
I can't believe
how grown-up you are.
84
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:14,781
His words exactly.
85
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,021
Hey.
Sorry, I'm late.
86
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,589
Hey, there!
Hi, how are you?
87
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:25,725
Okay, so, what do you wanna see?
88
00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:27,594
The World Trade Center?
The Rockettes?
89
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,295
Uh, wait a minute.
90
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,164
Go see Cats. It's a musical.
91
00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,299
About cats. Yes, I know.
92
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,702
There's a Czechoslovakian
film festival at MoMa.
93
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,772
They're screening
my friend's film,
Mirtvy Kloboke.
94
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,514
Uh-huh, yeah, yeah,
something like that'd be good.
95
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,215
You game?
Fine.
96
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:50,250
I'll get my bag.
97
00:05:51,117 --> 00:05:52,686
I really appreciate this,
you know.
98
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,954
Hey, let's not make
a big deal out of this, okay?
99
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:57,957
No, it's no big deal.
I'm just telling you
I really appreciate it.
100
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,392
I'm ready.
Need some money?
101
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,594
Thanks, Dad.
I got a dollar in my shoe.
102
00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:06,800
Work hard.
I always do.
103
00:06:06,833 --> 00:06:10,070
Okay.
Show her a good time!
104
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,277
Hi, stranger.
105
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:18,345
Hey.
106
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:28,254
You hated the movie.
No, I didn't hate it.
107
00:06:28,288 --> 00:06:29,889
It was very interesting.
108
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:32,025
Well, the first three hours
were a little slow.
109
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:38,098
Hello, my name is Sherman,
and I'm gonna be your
serving person tonight.
110
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:40,500
Can I get you
something from the bar?
111
00:06:40,533 --> 00:06:42,035
No, thank you. I'm fine.
112
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,570
Uh, just water, thanks.
113
00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:47,607
Very good. Please let me
show you our water list.
114
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,143
I'll tell you both right now
that we're out of
115
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,579
the Nantucket Springs
and the Evian.
116
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,381
I'm gonna give you
a minute with that.
117
00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:08,795
You think Martin knows?
I think he knows.
118
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,965
He doesn't know.
This is ridiculous.
119
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,534
Why don't we just
tell him already?
No. Susan, please.
120
00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:15,735
We're all adults.
121
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:17,303
Right, and if Martin kills me,
122
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,672
he can be tried as an adult.
123
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:19,873
You know Martin.
124
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:22,308
You're still
his little baby sister.
125
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:24,444
Let's wait till
the time is right.
126
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:27,147
The time was right
eight years ago.
127
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:30,183
The time will be right when
he's too feeble to lift a gun.
128
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,155
Have we made
our water decision yet?
129
00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:37,657
Do we need help?
130
00:07:39,826 --> 00:07:42,929
No, I think we'll just
stick with New York City tap.
131
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,766
Very good.
132
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,979
I had 132 fights in 10 years.
133
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:03,049
All I got to show for it
is a beat-up face
and a few clippings.
134
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,952
Now I'm eating regular.
135
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,588
Paying the rent.
Got folding money in my pocket.
136
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:12,192
I feel safe,
and I like it that way.
137
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:19,466
4:00.
138
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:22,602
4:00?
139
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:25,739
Beano?
140
00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:30,076
Beano?
141
00:08:38,585 --> 00:08:39,619
Beano?
142
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,091
Where the hell is she?
143
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:48,561
Susan was probably
beaten by a paid hoodlum.
144
00:08:48,595 --> 00:08:49,996
Oh, my God!
145
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,165
Who would want to hurt her?
146
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,568
Don't panic.
Don't panic. Don't panic.
147
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,907
Such a nice little girl.
148
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,375
Answer. Answer. Answer. Answer.
149
00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:04,277
Where the hell are you?
150
00:09:19,592 --> 00:09:20,627
Yeah?
151
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,229
Eddie, where's my sister?
152
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,998
She's not here!
She's not there?
153
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,599
Where the hell is she? What...
154
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:29,069
Eddie,
what'd you do with her?
Nothing!
155
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:31,838
Hang up.
I'm gonna call the police.
No, don't call police.
156
00:09:31,871 --> 00:09:34,074
What police? What's going on?
Shh!
157
00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:35,141
Who's that?
158
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,811
What... Oh, my God.
159
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:40,647
You ditched Beano
for one of your bimbettes!
160
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,382
Jesus, here.
No!
161
00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,120
Martin?
162
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,855
It's Susan. I'm fine.
163
00:09:48,888 --> 00:09:51,491
Oh! Thank God.
164
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:53,827
Where are you?
165
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,629
Martin.
166
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,900
I'm spending the night
here at Eddie's.
167
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:04,971
He wouldn't do that to me.
He's my best friend.
168
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,473
Martin, are you there?
169
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:10,543
Is the couch comfortable?
170
00:10:10,577 --> 00:10:12,412
No couch, Martin.
171
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:18,318
Listen, I'll tell you what,
why don't we talk
about this in the...
172
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:20,787
Martin?
173
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,322
Martin?
174
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,528
My God, Susan,
are you all right?
175
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,330
I'm fine, Martin.
Are you all right?
176
00:10:30,363 --> 00:10:33,366
I want you to tell me
exactly what happened.
177
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,669
He had his arm around me.
178
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:37,771
He was trying to kiss me.
179
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:39,606
It was so horrible.
180
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,542
Martin, we didn't mean...
"We"? What's "we"?
181
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,311
You two aren't "we."
She and I are "we."
You're just "you"!
182
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:48,715
Martin, can we talk
about this rationally?
No, 'cause I'm gonna kill you.
183
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:52,252
Defend yourself.
Martin,
you're not gonna kill me.
184
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:55,121
I'm gonna beat you to death.
You're not gonna
do that either.
185
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,757
Then I'm gonna take back my
Blind Lemon Jefferson records.
186
00:10:57,791 --> 00:10:59,325
They're my records,
you have them!
187
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,894
Well,
you're not getting 'em back!
188
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:03,396
Stop it.
I could kill you easily.
189
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,464
Martin!
190
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:09,169
Don't take this out on Eddie.
You don't know this man.
191
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:12,939
To him, you're just another
majorette in his parade
of one-night stands.
192
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:17,077
This is not just
a one-night stand!
Susan and I have been...
193
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,813
H... have been?
That's an interesting
choice of tense.
194
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,716
"Have been."
"Have been." Yes, "Have been."
195
00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:23,783
Yes, have been.
196
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,518
How long have been?
197
00:11:28,154 --> 00:11:29,189
Eight years.
198
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:34,961
Martin, I swear I was gonna
tell you. But I thought,
199
00:11:34,994 --> 00:11:38,531
"What would I do if you were
fooling around with my baby
sister?" I'd kill you.
200
00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:40,266
So I decided to do
the sensitive thing
201
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:41,901
and not tell you about it.
202
00:11:41,935 --> 00:11:43,636
The sensitive thing?
203
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:47,040
Yeah, you deflower my sister
and you call that sensitive?
204
00:11:47,073 --> 00:11:49,009
You're misquoting me.
Excuse me.
205
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,446
The flower here would like
to set the record straight.
206
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,181
Eddie was not my first.
207
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,050
He wasn't?
I wasn't?
208
00:11:57,083 --> 00:11:58,118
Who was?
209
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,587
Remember Douglas Frick?
210
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,423
Little Dougie Frick?
211
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,793
Well, Dougie Frick.
212
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:11,931
Anyway, Martin,
this may be hard to believe,
but this is not that big a deal.
213
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:14,634
We are just friends.
Friends who sleep together.
214
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,037
"Not a big deal"?
Not... not a big deal?
215
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,140
You don't know what
you're getting into.
He's gonna break your heart.
216
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:23,076
Break my heart?
What planet are you on?
217
00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,844
Look, you're my little sister.
218
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:28,481
I don't want you involved
with this type of guy.
Type of guy?
219
00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:31,584
Type of guy? Whoa,
you say what you mean, pal.
220
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:34,054
You don't want your sister
sleeping with a Black man.
221
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:37,023
No, no, no, forget it, pal.
This isn't about
you being Black.
222
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,491
This is about you being a dick.
223
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:44,497
Since when have you ever
cared about a woman, huh?
224
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:47,200
What are you saying? I'm not
good enough for your sister?
225
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,002
That's exactly
what I'm saying, yeah.
226
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,104
Martin, he's your best friend!
227
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,440
No, your best friend
doesn't sleep with your sister
228
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,941
for eight years
behind your back!
229
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:57,077
Beano, get dressed.
You're coming with me.
230
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,449
I'm not fooling around here.
231
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:03,516
Let's go.
232
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,187
Martin,
I'm not going anywhere with you.
233
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,690
In fact, I'm staying here
the rest of the week.
234
00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,660
You are?
What?
235
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,696
Stop it. What are you doing,
you silly girl?
Have you gone mad?
236
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:18,131
And I'd like you to leave now.
237
00:13:18,164 --> 00:13:19,265
I'm going back to bed.
238
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,203
What are you talking about?
239
00:13:23,236 --> 00:13:24,270
Get out!
240
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,707
What language do you want it in?
241
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,880
If you want it in Swahili,
you're shit out of luck.
242
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,311
Guess who? Line one. Again.
243
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,647
Tell him I'm in a meeting.
You want me to lie?
244
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,082
Yes.
245
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:13,920
Eddie?
He says he never liked you.
246
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:15,155
And he hopes you die.
247
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,993
I embellished. It's a perk.
248
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:26,633
Don't you have any work to do?
Yes.
249
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:29,636
You know,
I've been giving this thing
with Eddie a lot of thought.
250
00:14:29,669 --> 00:14:31,271
And you know
what your problem is?
251
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,973
You're looking at this
from a male point of view.
252
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:37,277
What you need to do
is look at this from
a woman's point of view.
253
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:38,678
I do?
254
00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:39,979
Your sister's been sleeping
255
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,414
with Eddie for years, right?
256
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:42,482
Right.
257
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:44,684
And they're "just friends"?
258
00:14:44,718 --> 00:14:46,586
So they say.
259
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,289
A woman's point of view,
she's a slut.
260
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:52,525
Thank you.
261
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,827
Very helpful.
262
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:26,559
Hi, this is Martin,
and you know what to do.
263
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:28,995
I know you're home,
Martin, so pick up.
264
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,297
Martin.
265
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:34,267
Hey, man, pick up the phone.
We need to talk.
266
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,936
He's sulking.
267
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,171
Give him time.
268
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:41,775
The hell with him.
269
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:48,848
Come here.
270
00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:41,368
Yeah, that'll get you
punched out in Copenhagen.
271
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:49,209
Don't go.
272
00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:53,079
How do you say that?
273
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,815
When did this happen?
274
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:57,817
It's been building.
275
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,387
Oh, man.
276
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,861
It's not exactly
the response I was looking for.
277
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:14,367
This is a very
exciting time for me.
278
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:18,004
South Africa,
Perestroika, the Middle East.
279
00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:19,506
I'm a part of all that.
280
00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:22,508
And I just can't stay still.
281
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:26,646
I know.
282
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:34,087
I love what we have
283
00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,155
the way it is.
284
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,924
Oh, God.
285
00:17:43,329 --> 00:17:44,898
Are you gonna be all right?
286
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,334
No.
287
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,009
Who is it?
Susan Tupper.
288
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,610
I used to be your sister?
289
00:17:57,644 --> 00:17:59,279
I'm reapplying for tenure.
290
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:05,518
I have a plane to catch,
so I don't have much time.
291
00:18:05,552 --> 00:18:07,921
And I need to ask a favor.
Come on in.
292
00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:09,489
Patch things up with Eddie.
293
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,257
Pick another category, will ya?
294
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,059
He thinks he might be
in love with me.
295
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:15,795
What?
296
00:18:15,829 --> 00:18:17,397
I think you should talk to him.
297
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,766
Why? Why should I?
'Cause he's your best friend.
298
00:18:19,799 --> 00:18:21,101
He is not.
He is too!
299
00:18:21,134 --> 00:18:24,304
He is not! He is not!
He is too! He is too!
300
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:27,073
He is not!
301
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,010
If you wanna give up your best
friend over my sex life, fine.
302
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:32,445
But let me tell you something
about your best friend.
303
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,814
I don't wanna hear it.
Well, you're gonna hear it!
304
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:39,019
Your best friend has sent me
more letters overseas
than everyone else combined.
305
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,653
Eddie?
Yes.
306
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:44,591
He is the one person who has
never forgotten my birthday.
307
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,326
Not once. No matter where I am.
308
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,796
And believe me, I can be pretty
hard to find. But he finds me.
309
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,998
That is the type of guy
who is not good enough
310
00:18:52,032 --> 00:18:53,233
for your baby sister.
311
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,035
Beano,
I'm just trying to protect you.
312
00:18:55,068 --> 00:18:57,303
Can't you understand that?
No, I can't!
313
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,439
I can't understand
why everyone in this family
314
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:01,675
treats me like
I'm Little Lulu with a lobotomy.
315
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,777
Ah, we do not.
You do too.
We do not!
316
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,311
Oh, stop it!
317
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,713
I've had enough!
318
00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,249
You do, Martin.
319
00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:13,787
Okay.
320
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,690
Okay, maybe I do, but...
321
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,024
I wanna show you something.
322
00:19:19,592 --> 00:19:22,395
When I look at you,
that's how I see you.
323
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:23,697
As a tooth.
324
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:26,966
You wanna see pictures, Martin?
325
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,535
Here's pictures.
326
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,171
Me and Gorbachev.
327
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,872
Me and Menachem Begin.
328
00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:34,607
Corey Aquino.
329
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:37,977
Here's me in a shoving match
with Shirley Temple Black.
330
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:39,379
I need you to protect me?
331
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,119
All right, I'll tell you what,
I'll make you a trade.
332
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:49,589
My wisdom tooth picture
for your Corey Aquino.
333
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:50,857
That's a molar.
334
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,393
You still wanna trade?
335
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:54,661
Yes. Yes.
336
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,230
You take this,
and I'll take that.
337
00:19:57,263 --> 00:20:00,033
And just...
just one favor though, okay?
338
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:01,601
Can I still call you Beano?
339
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,705
I'd rather
you set fire to my gums.
340
00:20:06,906 --> 00:20:08,208
I gotta go.
341
00:20:08,241 --> 00:20:09,342
You do not.
I do too.
342
00:20:09,376 --> 00:20:11,111
You do not.
I do too.
343
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,212
You do not.
344
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,849
You gotta go. Let's go.
345
00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:18,918
Bye now.
346
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:23,957
I love you.
I love you too.
347
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,192
Hey, before you go,
you better take care of this.
348
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,962
Take it easy!
349
00:20:28,995 --> 00:20:30,497
Be careful.
350
00:20:35,502 --> 00:20:39,572
I wish you were like that girl
in the glass coffin
in the Chicago circus.
351
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:42,075
Buried underground all day,
every day, always safe,
352
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,644
always where I could see her.
That's what I wish.
353
00:20:46,012 --> 00:20:47,947
Get over yourself.
354
00:20:53,019 --> 00:20:54,387
Uh, Mr. Charles?
355
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:58,825
About your show,
People Who Keep Things in Jars?
356
00:21:01,161 --> 00:21:02,195
Uh...
357
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:07,767
hi.
358
00:21:14,307 --> 00:21:17,210
Yeah.
359
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:20,146
I love this show.
360
00:21:22,315 --> 00:21:23,750
You know, for a talk show host,
361
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,452
you're a lousy
conversationalist.
362
00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:27,654
What are you doing here?
363
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:30,924
D... did you call me?
364
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:34,027
Because I think
Toby said something
about you calling me this week.
365
00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:36,596
That is so incredibly lame.
366
00:21:36,629 --> 00:21:39,265
You should
hear the ones I threw out.
367
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,041
A friend of ours says
you're not doing so hot.
368
00:21:48,842 --> 00:21:49,876
Oh.
369
00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,147
You're not talking to me,
remember?
370
00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:56,383
I'm completely over it.
371
00:21:59,052 --> 00:22:00,120
Really.
372
00:22:00,153 --> 00:22:02,122
Where did I put
that nitric acid?
373
00:22:04,691 --> 00:22:07,227
All right.
374
00:22:07,260 --> 00:22:08,361
I'm working through it.
375
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:13,500
Did she make her flight okay?
376
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:15,802
I guess so.
377
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:18,938
She tell you
when she's coming back?
378
00:22:18,972 --> 00:22:22,475
You know Susan.
379
00:22:22,509 --> 00:22:24,377
Yeah.
380
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:25,812
I know Susan.
381
00:22:30,517 --> 00:22:31,551
You okay?
382
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:35,822
Can you believe this is me?
383
00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:40,460
It's pretty amazing.
384
00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:43,163
So, what do you wanna do now?
385
00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:45,398
You wanna trade apologies,
386
00:22:45,432 --> 00:22:47,600
and hug and bond
and shit like that?
387
00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:50,403
Or we could go shoot some hoops.
388
00:22:50,437 --> 00:22:52,572
Or we could do that.
389
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:53,640
Come on!
390
00:22:55,508 --> 00:22:57,310
So does this mean
you're saying goodbye
391
00:22:57,344 --> 00:22:59,179
to Siobhan and Phoebe and Wanda
392
00:22:59,212 --> 00:23:02,148
and, uh, that... that Gumby lady?
393
00:23:02,182 --> 00:23:04,684
Oh, no, Eddie! Don't go!
394
00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:06,052
I got an image to maintain.
395
00:23:09,089 --> 00:23:10,757
What are you doing tomorrow?
396
00:23:10,790 --> 00:23:12,726
I don't know.
What do you wanna do?
397
00:23:13,693 --> 00:23:16,796
Let's go find
Little Dougie Frick and
beat the shit out of him.
398
00:23:16,830 --> 00:23:17,997
Yes!
28584
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