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This programme contains frequent
very strong language from the outset,
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00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,576
scenes of a sexual nature
3
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:09,896
and scenes which some viewers
may find distressing.
4
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:14,480
Please be aware that this programme
also contains themes of suicide.
5
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,160
(TV VOLUME DOWN)
6
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,520
(GENTLE PIANO MUSIC)
7
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(BREATHES HEAVILY)
8
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:22,840
I dreamt you were gone
in the night.
9
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But I looked and...
you weren't there.
10
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,840
Just a dream.
11
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,360
I know.
12
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:36,880
I'm sorry.
13
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,640
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
14
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,480
Come to think of it, mate...
15
00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,000
...I had a pretty weird dream too.
16
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,120
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
17
00:01:56,080 --> 00:01:58,080
Pretty weird alright.
18
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,016
I dreamt that someone told me
19
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,520
that they hated being
a shitty navigator...
20
00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:06,520
...and wanted to be a salesman.
21
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,136
Wild.
22
00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,320
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
What?
23
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,560
Dad.
What?
24
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,640
Oh, my God, it was real!
25
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,896
(CHUCKLES)
26
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,496
What do you reckon, then?
Are you ready?
27
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,760
Now?
Good a time as any.
28
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:34,320
OK.
29
00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:37,440
Can't be crying though, can we?
30
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,640
Eh?
31
00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:42,520
Not gonna look too good, is it?
32
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,240
(IMITATES CRYING)
33
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,616
"Please can you buy my stuff?"
34
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:50,656
(IMITATES CRYING)
35
00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,720
Not gonna go down well, is it?
36
00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,720
No.
Well then...
37
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,880
You know, my old man was in antiques.
38
00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,136
When I was little,
he used to take me out in his van,
39
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:08,736
find some run-down old place -
a real drum,
40
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,376
owned by some rich biddy
with a load of filthy cats -
41
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,416
and he'd go in... (CHUCKLES)
42
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:17,656
And, honestly, before
I had time to finish my sandwich,
43
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,896
out he'd come with a nice
little Queen Anne dressing table.
44
00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:22,936
(CHUCKLES)
45
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,000
Yeah, he had the gift, my old man.
46
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,496
The talent.
47
00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:29,096
He taught it to me.
48
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,200
And now I'm handing that to you.
49
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,120
You understand?
50
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,680
(BREATHES DEEPLY) OK.
51
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,760
Ah.
52
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,920
(GROANS) Christ.
53
00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,776
Didn't happen to notice
the Hulk creep in
54
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,480
and beat the crap out of me
last night, did you?
55
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,320
Right, ready, Mr Salesman?
56
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,216
♪ KYLIE MINOGUE:
Can't Get You Out Of My Head
57
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,816
One more time.
We have here on offer -
58
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:12,736
the finest range of creams,
lotions and balms.
59
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,736
And you'll find this...
60
00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:17,816
And you'll find this coll... colla...
Collagen.
61
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,416
-(HORN TOOTS) -WOMAN: Piss off.
-With elastic...
62
00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:23,816
Elastin-rich.
...elastin-rich cream,
63
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,256
which will improve
your skin smoothness
64
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,296
and make you look younger.
65
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:30,496
(LAUGHS) Yeah.
But what if I forget?
66
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,456
Well then, make it up.
67
00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,280
Remember, she's not buying
the product, she's buying you.
68
00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:39,800
And who are you?
69
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:44,136
Who the fuck are you?
70
00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,536
-I'm Bunny Munro.
-That's absolutely fucking right. Tell me again.
71
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,056
I'm Bunny Munro!
I'm Bunny Munro!
72
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,296
(THEME MUSIC)
73
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:54,680
♪ Oh, baby
74
00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,080
♪ It's a commitment
75
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,520
♪ It's a commitment, baby
76
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,200
♪ M-M-My wife don't like it
77
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,360
♪ My wife don't like it!
78
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,000
♪ It's a commitment, yeah
79
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,800
♪ We gotta love one another or die,
brother
80
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,816
♪ We gotta love one another or die
81
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:31,600
♪ Oh, baby
82
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,776
♪ Cos it's superglue
83
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:43,080
♪ It's superglue, baby!
84
00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:46,800
♪ Knock 'em dead
85
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,720
♪ Knock 'em dead! ♪
86
00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,800
And you'll find this collan-gen...
87
00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:02,080
...and... elastin-rich cream...
88
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,176
will improve moisture... Wow.
89
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:09,056
...up to 300%.
90
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,960
But...
91
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,040
I don't think you need it.
92
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,656
Actually, Dad,
I think we've got the wrong house.
93
00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:20,840
(CHUCKLES) OK, I can't cope.
94
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,976
Take my money.
Really?
95
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,840
I'd buy a dose of poison off you,
you little cutie.
96
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,696
I'll have two bottles.
OK.
97
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,680
You know what? When you see that,
a dad and his boy just...
98
00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,576
It just gets me, you know?
99
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,600
Right here.
100
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,480
Where?
101
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,536
Alright, mate.
Why don't you go and wait outside
102
00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,416
while I take care
of the boring old paperwork, yeah?
103
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,880
OK, Dad. It was nice to meet you.
104
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,016
Hey.
105
00:07:07,040 --> 00:07:08,816
Well done, mate.
106
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,800
Thanks, Dad.
107
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:13,960
Oh, God.
108
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,000
(DOOR CLOSES)
(CHUCKLES)
109
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:19,680
So cute.
110
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,200
(GASPING AND PANTING)
111
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:32,320
(GROANS) Oh, yeah.
(GROANING AND PANTING)
112
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,856
(BUNNY MOANS FERVIDLY)
113
00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,720
Is that your dad in my house?
114
00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:40,800
We're salesmen.
115
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,160
He's giving her one.
116
00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:47,216
He's the best salesman in the world.
117
00:07:47,240 --> 00:07:50,120
He could sell your bicycle
to a barracuda.
118
00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,216
A what?
119
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:55,216
It's a predatory fish.
120
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,216
Its jaws are armed
121
00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:00,416
with hundreds of razor-like teeth.
Oh.
122
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:02,376
(MUM CRIES OUT)
123
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:03,936
You can hear her from miles away.
124
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,136
She sounds like a strangled chicken.
125
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:07,760
(MUM MOANS)
126
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,776
My mum died.
127
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,656
I wish my mum would die.
(MUM CRIES OUT)
128
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,120
(CAR APPROACHES)
129
00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:23,856
You alright, Tony?
130
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,760
Wotcha, trouble.
131
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,760
(MUM CRIES OUT)
132
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,736
(MUM CRIES OUT)
(BUNNY GROANS)
133
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,536
(CRIES OUT AND MOANS)
134
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,600
For fuck's sake.
135
00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:41,016
(GRUNTING AND GROANING)
136
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,760
(MUTTERS ANGRILY)
137
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:52,000
Is that your dad?
That's Tony. He's Mum's boyfriend.
138
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,776
What's he like?
He's alright, I guess.
139
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,656
Donna! What the fuck?!
140
00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,336
(PINGS BELL) Dad bought me this.
141
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,096
The bike?
(DONNA SCREAMS)
142
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:06,120
No, just the bell.
It's a really cool bell.
143
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,240
You think so?
Yeah. It's great.
144
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,936
(YELLING AND THUDDING)
Junior! Shit.
145
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,736
♪ WARMDUSCHER: I Got Friends
Fuck's sake, Donna! (YELLS ANGRILY)
146
00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:20,080
Junior, get in the car.
147
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:23,480
Hello.
148
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:26,720
Bye then.
Bye.
149
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,776
Where are you going?!
150
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,256
OK. Yeah, look lively!
151
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:35,216
-Come on! - - Is everything alright, Dad?
-Oi! - Yep.
152
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,976
Everything's absolutely
fucking perfect, my boy.
153
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,040
I'll fucking break him!
154
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,240
Fuck!
155
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,696
I'm telling you, Bunny Boy,
156
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,560
nothing like getting your pipes
cleaned first thing in the morning.
157
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:54,120
(WHISTLES SOFTLY)
158
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,080
Who was your mate?
159
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:02,240
She just came and talked to me.
Oh, right.
160
00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,936
Fancy you, did she?
Dad.
161
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,736
Alright.
162
00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,176
-She did though, I can tell. She had - that special light in her eyes.
-Yeah?
163
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,840
Yeah. I'm telling you, Bunny Boy,
I can spot it a mile off.
164
00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:19,640
Maybe I should give her one.
(COUGHS)
165
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,400
(LAUGHS)
166
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,720
Well, one day, Bunny Boy. (LAUGHS)
167
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:29,000
One day.
168
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,560
So, where are we going next?
I don't know. Check the list.
169
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,816
-I don't have the list.
-What do you mean, you don't have the list?
170
00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:43,256
-You had the list.
-Well, - where did I put it? - I don't know.
171
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,680
Oh, f... I must've
left it back there. Fuck.
172
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,496
Do we need it?
We're salesmen, aren't we?
173
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:56,760
-Yeah.
-Well, how the fuck are we gonna be salesmen with no customers?
174
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,696
So, should we go back and get it?
175
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,256
Listen, I'm gonna teach you
the first rule of salesmanship, OK?
176
00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,840
No, fuck it, the first rule
of being a man: never go back.
177
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:12,136
So, what are we gonna do?
Just stop flapping your feet about.
178
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,840
I'll work it out.
179
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,480
Morning.
180
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:21,960
(Oh, no. Dad, she's
the social worker from the house.)
181
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,640
(Fuck it.)
182
00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,736
Tell you what, Bunny Boy,
why don't you head next door,
183
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,296
grab yourself some sweets?
184
00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,616
Then have a little sit outside.
185
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,696
Too nice to be cooped up indoors, eh?
186
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:40,880
Thanks.
Good boy.
187
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,176
Right then.
188
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,616
OK.
189
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,696
-So, what happens now?
-I call the police. -Police?
190
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,696
Oh, are you f...
What the fuck you talking about?
191
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,856
Mr Munro,
a Section 20 child protection order
192
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:58,736
had already been filed when you
absconded... A what? We didn't.
193
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,216
It's now been escalated
to a missing person
194
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:04,240
and the police are looking for you.
But he's not missing, is he?
195
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,816
He's right here, with me.
Stop, listen.
196
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:12,336
His mother has just died
in the most tragic of circumstances,
197
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,176
and I can't begin to explain
the effect that has had on him.
198
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,896
It's a fucking tragedy,
if you must know.
199
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:18,536
Right now...
200
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:21,360
that boy... needs his father.
201
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,056
(SIGHS)
Don't do it.
202
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,176
What are you doing? You know
there's a payphone down the road?
203
00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,120
We'll be gone
by the time you reach it.
204
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:36,856
-(RATTLES DOOR) The door won't open - till it's finished spinning.
-Fuck.
205
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:38,920
(MACHINE SPINS)
206
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:43,296
Yeah.
He's just a child, Mr Munro.
207
00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,800
He's my boy.
208
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:48,856
I'm just... showing him the ropes.
209
00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,256
I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Munro,
210
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,496
but this is what's best
for Bunny Junior.
211
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:56,096
I do hope that one day
you understand.
212
00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,160
(SPIN CYCLE SLOWS DOWN)
213
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,800
What you gonna do?
214
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,560
Ready, boy? Come on, look lively!
215
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,920
Come on.
216
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,200
Good boy.
217
00:13:32,761 --> 00:13:37,016
MAN ON PHONE: I gave you a list.
I know you did. I need a new list.
218
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,936
Well, those were good leads.
Well, give me some more good leads.
219
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:43,456
I can't keep giving up good leads
every time somebody loses a list.
220
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,896
I didn't lose it.
What happened to it then?
221
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:49,536
Jesus Christ! Geoffrey,
have you ever heard of an act of God?
222
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,616
What's that mean?
It means it wasn't my fault!
223
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,176
So, Geoffrey, sweetheart,
I'm gonna get in the car,
224
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:57,056
and I'm gonna come to the office,
and I'm gonna get a list.
225
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,896
No, no, no,
I wouldn't do that, my friend.
226
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:01,696
I've had the police here,
asking lots of questions about you.
227
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,496
It's probably best
if you lay low for a bit, Bun.
228
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,176
What?
229
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,480
-Why?
-That woman called 'em, the one with the missing money.
230
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,016
-And what did you tell them?
-I told 'em I didn't know where you were.
231
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,056
Did you tell them
that I didn't take it?
232
00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,360
Did you tell them
that I wouldn't do that?
233
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,720
Geoffrey?
234
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:24,936
Geoffrey!
235
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,296
I told 'em that
I didn't know where you were.
236
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:28,880
Fuck sake!
237
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,816
Dad,
are we going back to the office?
238
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,336
No.
239
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,696
But don't we need another list?
Yeah.
240
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:58,760
So, how...
241
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,416
Second rule of being a man:
242
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,560
make sure you've got at least
one mate who'll never let you down.
243
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:15,496
It helps if he thinks
the sun shines out of your arse.
244
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,416
(RINGING TONE)
So don't aim too high.
245
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:20,176
MAN ON PHONE: Hello, you dirty cunt.
Alright, Poodle? I -
246
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,936
I can't get to the phone right now.
247
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,720
If you leave a message
after the beep, I'll holler back.
248
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,136
I know where he'll be.
249
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,200
We're going to the pub.
The pub?
250
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,840
Cool.
251
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,560
(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)
252
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,640
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
253
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,080
(ON PUB STEREO)
♪ BLONDIE: Heart of Glass
254
00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,720
You alright, Bun?
Alright, babe?
255
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,760
Poodle.
256
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,360
Gaz, has Poodle been in yet?
Nah, not seen him.
257
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:16,216
-Junior, come here, sit down. We'll - have a quick one while we wait.
-OK.
258
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,016
Large scotch. And a coke, yeah?
259
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,536
A coke.
Make it quick, eh, Bun?
260
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:24,216
-You know your lad ain't supposed - to be in here.
-Yeah, I know.
261
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,456
MAN: Yeah!
2ND MAN: Whoo! Whoo-whoo!
262
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,456
No school today?
263
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:30,280
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
264
00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:36,176
Oi. What you doing?
265
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,040
(CHUCKLES)
266
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,816
(MEN WHOOPING)
267
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,456
(MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY)
268
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,560
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
269
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,336
Dad...
270
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,160
when are we gonna go home?
271
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,656
You wanna be a top salesman?
Yeah. Course.
272
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,496
Well, top salesmen
have gotta be like sharks.
273
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,576
Ruthless, efficient killer sharks.
274
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,840
OK?
(CHUCKLES) OK.
275
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:12,216
-You know what happens to a shark - if it stops moving?
-What?
276
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:14,920
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
277
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,800
(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)
278
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,000
It suffocates.
279
00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:30,296
(PUB MUSIC FADES)
280
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,840
(MELANCHOLY MUSIC)
281
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:57,360
(PUB MUSIC RESUMES)
282
00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:00,496
MAN: Well, fuck me! The boys!
283
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,656
Hi, Poodle.
Alright, Poodle?
284
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:04,456
Ha, ha, ha!
285
00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:07,376
-Mwah!
-Christ, Poo, you're absolutely steaming, mate.
286
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,536
-Hi, Poodle.
-What are you doing in here, little man?
287
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,936
Hm?
Just having a quick one.
288
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:15,000
(LAUGHS HEARTILY)
289
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,056
You, my little friend,
are just too much.
290
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:21,136
Thought you were too busy to come
and have a drink with your old pal.
291
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,600
Come on now, as if I'm ever
too busy for my mate Poodle.
292
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,336
(BOTH LAUGH)
Good to see ya.
293
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,776
Gary, a couple of scotches,
and another coke.
294
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,696
In a minute. Show your appreciation
for Jade... Not gonna lie,
295
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,536
I've been pretty fucking busy
working my list. (CHEERING)
296
00:18:38,560 --> 00:18:41,416
Oh, yeah? Pretty fucking busy
or pretty busy fucking?
297
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,696
-Well, I do like to go above and - beyond for my customers.
-Oh, yeah.
298
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,456
I know.
299
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:48,096
Course I fucking know.
300
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,616
What? You alright?
301
00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,136
(ROCK MUSIC ON STEREO)
302
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,496
Course I am.
Few drinks with the boys.
303
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:57,496
What more could I ask for?
304
00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,296
-Dad. - Please put your hands together - for Yvonne!
-Right.
305
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,456
Listen... I think I need a wee
actually, Dad.
306
00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,296
Yeah, go on. Over there.
307
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:08,216
So, Poo, mate,
been a bit of a hot streak, actually.
308
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,400
Managed to burn
right through my list.
309
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,736
So, I was gonna ask if...
310
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,240
there was any chance I could...
311
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,160
Hey.
312
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:22,480
You sure you're alright, mate?
313
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,176
Come on then.
314
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,056
(MEN WHOOPING)
315
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,096
Poo, what you doing?
(WHOOPING)
316
00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:31,936
Poodle, I need a word, mate.
317
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,536
Go on, go on.
318
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,600
(CHEERING)
319
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,240
Fuck sake. Poo!
320
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,056
Alright, babe. I'll see you
a bit later, yeah?
321
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:55,216
Alright, babe, I'll see you later.
322
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,336
Come on, love.
Yeah!
323
00:19:57,360 --> 00:19:59,120
Poodle!
324
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,240
(DREAMY MUSIC)
325
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,920
(MEN WHOOPING)
326
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,520
(DREAMY MUSIC)
327
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,400
Weird, isn't it?
328
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,080
You don't have to understand it,
you know.
329
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,480
It's OK to be a little boy...
330
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:31,200
and love spaceships and beetles.
331
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,856
Go on.
332
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,480
Go on, yeah.
333
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,896
(CHEER BUILDS)
334
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,760
-(CHEERING) -Ha!
-Hooray!
335
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,400
(MEN WHOOP AND CHEER)
336
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,456
MAN: Oi! Poodle!
Get out of the fucking way!
337
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:00,616
Fuck off.
MAN: Move yourself, man.
338
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:04,176
-MAN: Sit down, you dickhead.
-I aren't fucking moving! -Poo...
339
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:06,056
MAN: Poo.
MAN: Sit down.
340
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,096
(LEWD CACKLE)
341
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,160
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
342
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,040
-All the way down. Please.
-MAN: - Will you fucking sit down?! - Go on.
343
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:17,320
Ohhh.
344
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,936
MAN: Move your fucking arse.
345
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,000
You ought to take the fucker
outside.
346
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Move out of the fucking way!
347
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,936
Show me your pussy.
GAZ: Hey, Poodle.
348
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:32,816
-...Show it to me! - Poodle.
-It's alright, Gaz, he's had a few too many, mate.
349
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,336
YVONNE: Back the fuck off, will you?
Go on. Go on. Show me.
350
00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,176
Show me!
Fuck this.
351
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,216
Poo!
Fucking psycho.
352
00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,656
-GAZ: Calm it down now.
-Fuck this, - I'm going home. - Fuck off!
353
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:46,656
No. Oi. Oi! (GLASS SHATTERS)
You want pussy? Here you are!
354
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:49,080
Come here, come here, come here.
Fuck you!
355
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,600
What's the matter with you?
Let's get you another drink.
356
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,560
Sorry. Is this your room?
357
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:05,056
You're alright.
358
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,120
(DISTANT MUSIC PLAYS)
359
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,416
Are you here with your dad?
360
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,920
(SCOFFS) Christ.
361
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:25,776
You didn't fancy the funfair, no?
362
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:29,336
I'm not a little kid.
363
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,160
Alright, mate.
364
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:38,920
We're salesmen. On the road.
365
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,736
We'll be going soon.
366
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,640
Oh, right. Working man, is it?
367
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,840
(PACKAGING RUSTLES)
368
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:58,160
Won't be wanting any of this then?
369
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,536
-Come on, Poo.
-What's up with you, eh? -She's gone.
370
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,176
What you talking about, mate?
Who's gone?
371
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:10,416
Annie. My Annie.
She's fucked off, Bun.
372
00:23:10,440 --> 00:23:14,120
And it's like...
You're my mate, aren't you?
373
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:16,560
Yeah. Course.
374
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
It's like she took it with her.
375
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,400
All of a sudden, it's gone.
376
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:26,720
I can't make a sale,
I can't fuck, I can't...
377
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,760
It don't work anymore.
Alright.
378
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,376
Don't panic, OK?
379
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,896
It's just one of those things.
380
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:40,640
Happens to everyone.
381
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,480
Has it happened to you?
382
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:46,216
Well, no.
383
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:47,520
But...
384
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:50,400
...it's happened to people I know.
385
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,760
You mean me?
386
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,040
Yeah.
387
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,856
Nah, don't worry, Poo,
old Bun will sort you out.
388
00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:06,360
Gary, get us a couple more drinks,
would you?
389
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,600
(DISTANT MUSIC CONTINUES)
390
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,520
You alright?
391
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,496
Yeah.
392
00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:28,400
I should go.
393
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,920
My dad's
probably wondering where I am.
394
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:35,840
Back to work, right?
395
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,400
Working man.
396
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,440
Actually...
397
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,440
...can I please have some?
398
00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:51,760
Take it.
399
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:54,760
Thanks.
400
00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:58,480
Good luck.
You too.
401
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,376
Everything's gonna be alright.
402
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,400
Thanks, Bunny.
403
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:09,520
(WHISTLES SHARPLY)
404
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,216
It's good to see you, mate.
You too.
405
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,360
Yeah?
Yeah.
406
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,440
(SIGHS)
407
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,736
I didn't just come in to say hello
though, you know?
408
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,160
I was after a bit of a favour, actually.
409
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:36,120
What favour?
410
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:39,976
Look, truth is,
ran into a spot of bother.
411
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:42,296
Caught with my pants down,
you know how it goes.
412
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:44,160
And I managed to lose my list.
413
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:49,136
I was gonna ask
for a couple of names off yours
414
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:52,096
but, actually,
if you're not in the zone right now,
415
00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:55,680
maybe I should take the whole thing
off your hands. What do you reckon?
416
00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:58,360
That's why you're here?
417
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,456
That's why you've come to see me?
Fucking... Yeah.
418
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,736
(CHUCKLES) I'm not being rude,
Poo, but do you really think I've got time
419
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:07,976
to sit round
listening to your sob stories?
420
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,800
(CHUCKLES)
421
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,720
It's your fault.
What is?
422
00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:18,976
You fucked her. After the wake.
423
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,880
Who?
Annie.
424
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,200
-Did I? Oh, please.
-Poodle, what does it even fucking matter?
425
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,616
(ROARS WILDLY)
Poo!
426
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:35,536
(ROARS)
Oi! What are you... What the...
427
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:37,440
Get off! Get the fuck...
428
00:26:38,120 --> 00:26:41,736
Argh! (WHIMPERS)
429
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,296
You're a cunt, Bunny!
430
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,176
A true, proper, total cunt!
431
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,816
I've been your best mate for years,
and I love you,
432
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,096
but you don't give a fuck
about anybody
433
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,496
but Bunny fucking Munro!
434
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,976
No wonder she killed herself!
435
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:58,416
MAN: Whoo.
MAN: Oi.
436
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,560
♪ BUFFALO SPRINGFIELD:
For What It's Worth
437
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,520
She had a condition. You knew that.
Everyone knew that. She was ill.
438
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,696
There was nothing me
or anyone could do about that.
439
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,160
It wasn't my fault.
None of this is my fault.
440
00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:20,376
If you wanna hold onto a bird
for two fucking minutes, Poo,
441
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:23,736
maybe try not being such
a fucking loser. Lost it?
442
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:27,096
(SARCASTIC CHUCKLE) Lost what?
Lost it? You never fucking had it.
443
00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:29,456
You're a part-timer, mate,
an also-ran.
444
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:32,736
And if your bird was so special,
445
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:35,160
why don't I even remember
fucking her?
446
00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,400
Poodle.
447
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:45,840
Poodle!
448
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:52,640
Poodle!
449
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,496
Dad!
Hey, Poodle!
450
00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:00,096
-Poodle, man. - I want you to say - - sorry to me.
-Poodle! - Say sorry!
451
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:03,880
-...Poodle! - Say sorry!
-And then will you give me the fucking list?
452
00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,216
Oh, Bun.
453
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,080
Argh! No, no, no, no!
454
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,440
(SOFTLY) Poodle.
455
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,200
Poodle, mate.
456
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:39,016
Fucking hell! It's alright, mate.
It's alright.
457
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:42,936
I've called the police, my wife's
on the phone to an ambulance.
458
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,176
-It's alright.
-The police? Yeah. Did you see the numberplate?
459
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,760
Help is on the way. Right, mate,
just stay as still as you can.
460
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,976
Wait, where the fuck are you going?
You can't just fuck off!
461
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,200
Oi!
(SIREN WAILS)
462
00:28:58,160 --> 00:28:59,720
(TYRES SCREECH)
Mate!
463
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,016
Where are you going?!
You can't just fucking leave!
464
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,080
(MOURNFUL MUSIC)
465
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:12,216
(SIREN WAILS)
Yeah, yeah. No, I'm holding. Yeah.
466
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,280
(INDISTINCT PANICKED CHATTER)
467
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:35,440
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