All language subtitles for Such.Brave.Girls.S02E04.720p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta.en

[Billie] I've got your scraps.

-[grunts]
-Ah-ah-ah. What's the magic word?

-I love you.
-Good boy.

I always knew when you left,
you'd come back to me.

Please let me sleep in the house.

This isn't fair, you can't
keep me in here forever.

[Billie] It's not that simple, Nicky.

You see, we have the small problem
of everyone hating you.

Like, hates your guts.

They wish you were dead, more than Josie.

It's only a matter of time,
but we can't rush things.

-I'll let you know.
-[Nicky] Wait--

[curtain rustles]

[door creaking]

Josie, thank God.

We have to rush.

I've run the calculations,
and you're ovulating.

-No, I'm not.
-[Seb] Yes, you are.

I wouldn't be a very thoughtful husband
if I didn't track your cycle.

I've checked the viscosity
of your discharge,

and you're definitely ovulating.

This is your fertile peak
for the next 24 hours.

You're perfectly breedable.

Well, what can I say?

Your data's wrong.

I'm on my period.

-[paper crinkling]
-[Seb grunts]

Why is menstrual maths so complicated?

This is exactly why The Guardian thinks
we need more women in STEM.

Leave!

Uh, Dev?

Is there a problem?

I'm just not sure I can work with this.

You noticed? I'm sorry.

It's nothing to do with you.

I totally fancy you, it's not that at all.

I didn't think it was.

And I'm usually your rock
down there, you-you know?

But, um...

Can I, can I be honest?

-I guess I'm just feeling a little off.
-Oh, dear.

Do you think it's because
you're not contributing to the house?

-Well, I brought Lisa, didn't I?
-Hmm.

I'm just not sure how a boat factors
into our everyday lives.

Don't be silly, Deb.

The Lovely Lisa's a beautiful old girl.

She's the last time
I truly felt like a man.

Captain of my own ship, you know?

She's going to help me find myself.

Are you sure you didn't
find yourself at work,

but you've just forgotten?

Where was the last place
you left yourself?

It's always the last place you look.

Maybe you could retrace your steps

in your office at Drayton Hicks.

Honestly, not a day goes by
I don't think about it.

They even offered me that promotion.

A team leader role,
head of communications.

They called yesterday
and offered me more money, but...

But what, darling?

I'm just not that man anymore.

Brilliant news, girls.

Dev's going back to work.

-What?!
-Yep.

Heard it straight from the horse's mouth.

Just needs a little push
to find his confidence.

Tomorrow morning, we're going
to get the old Dev back.

But we didn't even like the old Dev.

Yeah, neither did I,
but the new one's a lot worse.

[♪ bright, upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Billie] What?

-Where the fuck's the boat gone?
-[Dev] It was collected this morning

to be dropped at the docks,
so it's ready for us.

You didn't say we were going
on the bloody boat!

So, you coming to help get
Dev's manhood back?

I'm going to fucking
have to now, aren't I?

You're coming as well? That's great.

Now we're just waiting for Josie and Seb.

Wait for me! Wait for me.

I'm hoping the seasickness
might discombobulate him

out of trying to conceive.

He knows I'm ovulating.

He's so determined,
when he comes inside me,

he's started chanting,
"Get in there, my son."

[Billie] You could just tell him
you don't want to have his baby.

You know, confront him, tell the truth.

Some people can't handle the truth.

Yeah, you.

[car horn honks]

[Dev] Come on, gang!

[laughing] Here she is.

Oh, I can't tell you
how wonderful it feels

to be back on top of The Lovely Lisa.

You really need both of those?

Can't be too careful.
I'm carrying precious cargo.

[Dev] Would the ladies like some help?

Uh, no, thanks.

These are heavy, we'll wait for Deb.

What the bloody hell are you doing?

Don't undermine that man.

I spent all morning
working on his confidence.

I don't see why it's our job
to do that, you broke him.

-I didn't break Dev.
-[Billie] You did.

Think about it, he was
a successful, upstanding man,

and then he met us three horsewomen
of the apocalypse

and we've torn his life apart,
limb from limb.

You've castrated him,
chopped his balls off,

paraded them around in front of him

like a pair of tarnished earrings
from TK Maxx.

He's a shell of a man.

And you've shucked out all of his insides
with a knife and a little bit of lemon.

And today, we're reminding that shell

that he's an upstanding man
who brings an income into the house

and he's a team captain.

If he can be captain here,

he can be captain of communications
at Drayton Hicks.

Cooee! Captain Dev!

[Billie] She's fucking desperate.

It's dead.

Oh, my handsome captain. Suits you.

King of all you survey,
Captain of the seven seas.

We could do this every weekend,
if you went back to work.

Ready to set sail, my first mate?

Anchors away.

[both moan]

[engine cranks]

[engine cranks]

That's weird.

First time that's happened
to me, actually.

Never mind, Lisa always did like
a warm-up first.

-Have you tried putting the keys--
-Have you tried putting

the keys in and turning the engine on?

Yeah.

I'm out of ideas.

Oh, no.

Just when I was starting
to feel like myself again.

Maybe we should all go home.

I'm afraid I may not be captain after all.

No, no, no. It's alright.

We can stay on the boat
and enjoy it from the dock.

It's the best view anyway,
to watch Captain Dev in action.

Hold this thing.

I need to focus.

[Billie] I'll take this, then.

Captain Billie.

Look at all this.

The beauty.

The view's not bad either.

I've always wanted
to conceive our son at sea,

since I found out that was an option.

-You feeling seasick yet?
-No.

Taken all my pills.

In fact...

the rocking motion of the boat
could help stimulate forward momentum

to ensure fertilization.

Imagine, my little sperm
and your little egg.

Don't know about you, but I think
it's about time those two meet.

Seb, can you give me a hand, please?

Goodbye, my son.

Until we meet again.

[smacks]

Sorry. It's, uh, hormones.

[♪ light, upbeat music playing]

Face it, Mum. He's a goner.

[Josie] Agreed.

Sack off this whole boat thing
and just send him to counseling.

Lower your fucking voice.

Under no circumstances
will Dev be going to therapy.

We don't need a frigid bitch
with a lanyard

telling Dev that he's enough.

The fact is he's not.
Unless he goes back to his job.

I'll just have to retrieve his manhood
the old fashioned way.

How?

My feminine wiles.

-Your what?
-[Deb] You know, my wiles.

They've never let me down before.

My wiles get us food to eat
and keep the bailiff sweet.

[engine cranks]

Lisa's never let me down like this before.

Oh, bother, what a useless bitch she is.

Well, we don't need to be moving

for me to imagine you
as captain of the ship.

-[lips smack]
-Come away from the wheel, Dev.

[Deb thuds]

She just won't fucking start.

She won't fucking start!

You're not really talking
about the boat, are you, mate?

If he's playing hard to get, it's working.

The man is impenetrable.

Do you think it might be
because you let yourself go?

I haven't let myself go.

Well, when was the last time
you wore mascara?

Uh, she's released herself
from the shackles

of the patriarchy.

I'm proud of you, Mum, I really am.

Oh, my God, Billie. I've let myself go.

You've forgotten who you are.

A glorious, sexy woman,

but she's trapped inside
a haggard old wench.

Fish into your purse
and get some lippy out,

for God's sake, woman,

and while you're rooting around in there,

see if you can find Dev's balls!

I am nothing without my feminine wiles.

Oh, Mum.

I'm so glad I'm young.

Where do you think you are going?

Captain's quarters,

to see if there's a problem
with the engine.

-Right, well, you can't do that.
-[Dev] Why not?

Captain's orders. You can't go down there.

But it'll only be a minute.

Right, you two, off the boat. It's cursed.

The whole trip is cursed.

I think we should all leave
before things get any worse.

Billie, please!

There are some serious things
us men need to discuss.

I can't get the engine going,
no matter how hard I try,

if you catch my drift.

Yeah.

Okay.

I understand. The engine is your cock.

Yeah.

I can't relate, though.
I've never had that problem.

It's like my dick is a compass,
and Josie's true north.

-Right.
-[Seb] Look at us.

Two men talking.

Isn't it great when two men speak?
Real things happen.

Imagine if all men talked
about their feelings.

We'd be unstoppable!

I'm so glad we had this talk.

Oh, no, no, no, wait.
What am I going to do?

I'm supposed to be Deb's protector,
to-to satisfy her.

Am I even a man anymore?

The most important thing

is to never let any of the girls find out

we had this conversation.

They look to us as leaders.
They mustn't see weakness.

So, what should I do?

Well, Dev, you simply have
to get that boat started

or she's going to find someone else
who can start the boat.

You're right.

No one can know.

[Dev exclaims]

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone
your dick's broken.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

A stowaway? Billie, explain yourself.

I always knew there'd be a mutiny.

I just didn't expect it to be
before we'd even left the dock.

Oh, he just needs somewhere
to lie low for a bit.

He's realized he loves me
and wants to be with me,

it's as simple as that.

I'm telling you, he's changed.
Haven't you, Nicky?

Hmm?

-Wha-- Yes, absolutely.
-[Josie] I can't believe this!

He ditched you immediately
after you had your abortion.

He put you in debt
and he ran away to Manchester!

Look at him. He's ripped!

Sorry, I know that's not the point,
but it needs to be said.

I'm telling you, he's changed.

Tell them about your plans
for our future together, baby.

Uh, yeah, big plans.

Just give him a chance.
People can change, trust me.

[Seb] Why should we?

We've already got enough testosterone
between me and Dev,

thank you very much.

Don't need anyone dragging down
the group average.

You think I'm not manly enough?

I'm never going to like you, Nicky.

There's two men on this boat.

And if me and Dev were going to bring
a third into our relationship...

[chuckles] certainly wouldn't
be asking you.

Seb's right.

Dev is man enough for everyone.

And that's better.

What do you think, Dev, as captain?

Do we give Nicky a second chance?

Well, the decision is a tricky one.

It's not hard, is it?

Is it really, Dev?

Now, let's be diplomatic about this.

Nicky can have the day
to prove he's changed

and if by the end of the day he hasn't,

he can walk the plank.

By which, I mean he can take the bus,

because we're not giving him a lift home.

He can't go in the bunk, though.

Me and Josie will be
getting busy in there.

Josie's ovulating. Trying for a baby.

[snickers] Seriously?

I know, it is preposterous, isn't it?

-Why?
-Well, if you're old enough to have a kid,

that would make me a grandmother,
and that's nonsense.

Right? Preposterous.

I don't see the issue, Deb.

I'm not old enough to be
a grandmother, obviously.

Totally preposterous.

I'm barely a mother.

[Josie] Absolutely.

In fact, I wouldn't call you
a mother at all.

Thank you, darling.

[duck quacking]

If you want to stay, you just need
to do what you do best

to get in the good books,
play to what they want to hear.

-What do I say?
-Tell Mum she looks young.

You might need to speak up, though,
'cause she's senile.

And tell Josie she's the most traumatized,

misunderstood girl in the world.

Don't give her too much
eye contact, though,

because she's not used
to it and she'll panic.

-It's a lot to remember.
-[Billie] Flirt with 'em.

Fill their shallow heads
with barefaced lies.

Not like when you're telling me the truth

about my singing career
and your best mate's

a record producer and together
you're going to make me a star.

Alright, I'll do my best.
It's not going to be easy.

-Thank you.
-[Nicky] What about the boys?

Surely, they're not going
to fall for that.

You really think I'd be an amazing dad?

The best. You know,
with some people you can just tell.

I totally get that with you.

Um, you're glowing. [chuckles]

Wow. [laughs]

It's just so much pressure.

You were born to be a dad.

This is your time. You just need
to assert your confidence.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

I just need to go up to Josie and say,

"Baby, let's get in that bunk
and make me a daddy."

Yes.

If I was half the man either
of you two are, I'd be lucky.

Captain Nicky.

-Has a ring to it.
-[Nicky chuckles]

-You alright there, Dev?
-I can see what you're up to,

and I'm not falling for it!

Hmm.

You want some help there, mate?

Or should we have a chat with Deb
about how you can't get

the engine started?

No, thank you. I can do it.

[lips smacking]

How did it go?

It's like I'm their god.

You're a genius.

I'm telling you, he's changed.

We've faced reality. Billie Bar is over.

Oh, thank God.

It's now Billie's Bar.

Cabaret bar, but with me
covering Disney classics.

I'm going to do that thing where I sing
and lean back on the piano.

-But you can't sing.
-Yeah, I thought that, too,

until Nicky told me I sound
like Amy Winehouse.

He's amazing.

Just be careful.

Or one day, you might
end up married to a man

so hellbent on conceiving his son

even his crippling motion sickness
won't stop him.

[Seb] Baby!

Let's get in that bunk
and make me a daddy!

In a second, darling!

I don't want him to be a dad.

Almost as much as I don't want
to be a mum.

Maybe you just need to go in there
and be really confident.

Men talk a big game,
but really they're scared, little babies.

He'll panic.

But how do I appear
more sexually confident?

Use your wiles.

I don't have any wiles.

Yes, you do! Show some skin.

Come on, let's get this off.

Okay, maybe a bit more skin.
Let's do this one.

Fucking hell, do you need four vests on?

It's cold.

Go in there and you scare that boy soft.

Captain's orders.

In fact, you should take this.

For confidence.

Josie. You're down
to your fifth undershirt.

Hello, sailor.

Are you going to fuck me?

Give it a go, yeah.

What position are you going to do?

All of them.

-What's that?
-It's tongue.

-Feels weird.
-Yeah, I know,

but I think we're just supposed
to go with it.

-Choke me.
-[Seb whimpers]

My hands are too slippery.

What's the matter? Can't get hard?

I'm trying, okay?

You going to fuck me or not, sailor?

No! Okay?

I'm scared.

What happened to the Josie I know?

The one who has sex with the lights off
and keeps her pants on one leg

so she can put them back on again
the second I pull out?

My self-conscious little sex kitten.
I miss her.

So, you're not fuck going to me?

But what about our son?

I'm not having my son
come out of this Josie.

Not like this.

It worked. Yes! You were right.

-[hands slap]
-[Josie laughing]

My wiles are too powerful.

Yes!

I mean, it's a bit sad, don't you think?

What?

The one person who wants to fuck you
doesn't want to fuck you anymore.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Captain Josie.

The unfuckable queen of the seven seas.

Maybe Lisa is cursed.

That's not the woman I married.

That's a monster.

It's just an off day. You're doing fine.

-That's not true.
-Look, mate,

it's just an off day.

You're doing fine.

Alright, yeah. You're right.

[Seb sighs]

He's so kind and wise.

I wish I could turn back time
and have him as my best man.

I'm going to ask him to be godfather.

I thought you were going
to ask me to be godfather.

Dev, what if the baby needs
to learn how to start a boat?

He needs a godfather who can be a man.

Someone he can look up to.

Nicky's not the massive legend
you think he is, you know.

I'm sorry. I'm just
looking out for my son.

-[engine cranking]
-Accept it, mate.

Lisa's dead.

[♪ mellow music playing]

Am I really unfuckable?

I just came in to say that
you're really complicated,

and it must be really hard being you.

Really? Do you mean it?

Yep.

Do you think anyone would miss me
if I killed myself?

Yeah, I'm sure they would.

But don't, 'cause you're
really special and that.

Can you say that again?

You're really special,
and you've got loads of trauma.

What the fuck are you doing?

Okay, I'm really sorry.

You just, you come in here,
and you start talking dirty to me,

I was powerless!

It wasn't me. It was the hat, I swear.

Please don't tell anyone about this.

-What, that you kissed me?
-Hmm.

I won't tell a fucking soul.

Well, do you approve?

-Uh...
-So you really like him then?

You really like him.

-Billie, I-I've--
-He's changed.

He really has. He wants everything
between us to be 50/50.

That's why I'm funding Billie's Bar,
and he's running it.

It just makes financial sense.

-You've done what?
-Yeah, I'm a guarantor.

Pretty fancy.

And between me and you,
I did take a massive loan to make it work,

but you gotta spend money
to make money in this business,

like I said.

-Yeah, I just--
-Do you want to hear one of the songs

I'm going to sing at Billie's Bar?

-Uh...
-♪ I can show you the world ♪

♪ Shining, shimmering, splendid ♪

♪ Tell me, Princess, now when... ♪

Hello, sailor.

Do you want to go downstairs
for a quickie?

Oh, not right now, Deb.
I just need to sort something.

Be honest. Am I still fuckable?

I'm so sorry, I just need
to speak to Seb for a second.

I haven't stripped you
of your manhood, have I?

-I have to go.
-Talk to me, Dev. Communicate.

You can fix Lisa. You're a man, I promise.

Just tell me you want to fuck me.

Face it, Deb, Lisa's dead.

I give up. I'm no captain.

[♪ mellow music playing]

Oh, shit, the breaker's off.

Without that, the engine won't start.

So you can start the engine?

-Of course I can.
-Hmm.

[Nicky groans]

Have I really let myself go?

-No.
-Really?

Yeah, you look well young.

-[Deb chuckles]
-Actually, when I first met you,

I thought you were the youngest sister.

I just feel like men
don't notice me anymore.

Well, I notice you.

-Do you?
-Yeah.

I can't believe you'd be a grandmother.

Be a freak of science if that happened.

You'd be in the Guinness Book
of World Records.

Do you think I'm fuckable?

Uh...

[lips smack]

♪ A thrilling chase, a wondrous place ♪

♪ For you and me ♪

That's absolutely fantastic,
but I really just--

♪ Unbelievable sights ♪

♪ Indescribable feelings ♪

♪ Soaring, tumbling... ♪

[whispers] Don't you dare tell
a fucking soul about this.

Of course I won't.

Wouldn't want the house
to be uncomfortable

while I'm living in it, now would I?

Nicky!

How did it go? Did you two get
to know each other?

Well, Mum, do you approve?

-Uh...
-So Nicky can stay?

Alright. He can stay.

You're the best mum in the world.

You know what? I feel like singing.

-♪ I-- ♪
-You bastard!

-What happened?
-Adultery!

-Uh, well, I wouldn't go as far--
-He kissed my wife!

-What?
-Alright, mate, calm down.

I will not calm down, good sir.

-Seb, please.
-Not right now, darling.

I'm defending your honor.

This is for my son.

[grunts]

-Don't make me do this, mate.
-I want you to.

[Nicky sighs]

-[fist thuds]
-[Seb groaning]

[Seb] Ouch.

Okay.

Alright. Well, I can tell
when I've been bested.

-She's yours.
-Mate, she kissed me.

[Deb] Uh... [clears throat]

I've got to be completely honest here.

Josie, that is absolutely
shameful behavior.

A mutiny if ever I saw one.

It wasn't me. It was the hat, I swear.

It is true, the hat is cursed.

Right, I see the problem here.

Josie, apologize to your husband.

-Sorry, Seb.
-It's alright.

I know what it is.

She's ovulating.

She can't help it.
Merciless to her own body.

She's like a dog on heat, she's feral.

He's right. I'm on heat.

It's my hormones.

Sorry, Billie.

Don't apologize to me. Apologize to him.

My whole body went cold.

Like death passed through my lips,

like she was sucking out my soul.

Oh, I was scared, mate, I was scared.

Sorry, Nicky.

There you go.

Apology accepted.

And while we're telling the truth,

I struggled to get an erection
this morning.

There, I've said it. [chuckles]

There's nothing more manly

than a man admitting
he can't get an erection.

Nicky, apologize to Seb.

Sorry, Seb.

Well, well, well, Nicky.

Did you see who she picked?

Yes sirree, she chose me.

She, she's mine.

I didn't want her.

Oh. Look at him. [laughs]

Absolutely gutted.

Guess the best man won, eh?
Put it there, brother.

And there we have it.

You know, we have a saying at work,

communication is key.

And communication really is... key.

That is a brilliant saying, Dev.

And I'm sure there's many more
to learn at Drayton Hicks.

I'm sure there is too, Deb.

One last try.

[engine rumbling]

[all chuckle]

Lisa's not dead after all.

Fantastic.

Captain Dev.

No, Deb. I'm no Captain.

I'm a man.

[Dev moans]

You can both be godfather.
He can have two godfathers.

The manliest baby in the world.

Imagine that. Two godfathers. [chuckles]

Now that's a sequel I'd like to see.

[chuckles]

So how are you going
to get out of sex with Seb?

I'm going to use my feminine wiles.

[Seb panting]

Do you want to touch my dick?

No, thank you.

The old Josie. I've missed you.

Tell me again how turned on you are.

-I'm not turned on.
-Turns me on so much.

-Look at me?
-I don't want to.

-Take off your pants.
-I'd rather keep them on.

I'm going to... I'm going to...

Get in there, my son!

It happened. Sorry.

We'll have to try again tomorrow.

Gutted.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[Dev and Deb panting]

I got the boat going.
Lisa's not dead after all.

Absolutely, you did.

You're the manliest man of all.

Dare I say it, you've got your mojo back.

[lips smacking]

You know, you're right.

And I think I've realized
what my calling is.

You're going to take
the head of communications job?

I've got something much better
than head of communications.

Head of Drayton Hicks?

No.

I'm going to become a counselor.

A men's mental health counselor.

Communication is key for men.

Of course, it'll be
much, much lower money.

Terrible pay. Terrible.

But it's not about the money, is it?

You're right, Deb.

I finally feel like myself again.

Hello?

Deb?

Out cold.

I always slept better
when I'm on Lisa too.

Goodnight, Lisa.

I'm Deb.

I know.

[♪ "Laissez Faire"
by Michel Lepop playing]