Original subtitles

Hey, what's up, son? We're going to go over to Penny's house.

You ready?

Yeah. All right.

Come on. I know you like pie.

It's really good to see you.

Thank you.

I can't believe it's already been a year.

Yeah, well.

I really hope that that bitch Rose doesn't win again.

Oh, yeah.

It's unfortunate.

I don't think she's going to this year. I'm very happy with how this has turned

out. I mean, it looks a little burnt, but I'm sure it's delicious.

Maybe a little.

Oh, look, your crust is already breaking.

That's okay. It's because it's nice and crumbly.

Yeah, no, it looks good. Sometimes, like, even when a pie doesn't, like,

good, it tastes good still.

That's nice.

So how's your son been?

Uh, Tyler has been... Is he a

pervert, too? I just, I wish he would get a hobby.

You know, at this age, their hobby is... That is his hobby. They're filthy.

That's what he does. They're so filthy. That's what he does all day. Is he using

conditioner or lotion?

You know, thus far, he's been a fan of the lotion and the toothbrush.

It used to be his preferred method.

You know, I keep leaving tissue around, hoping he'll switch.

I mean, his laundry is a biohazard.

I seriously thought that this was a joke.

I never realized how bad it would be to have fun.

Is Anthony?

Yeah, he's been using my conditioner, though.

Oh, I know.

Yes. And you don't know how many times I've been in there, like, shampooing my

hair, and then I go to, like, get my conditioner, and he's used the whole

bottle. I, like, do you know how much my water bill has been?

It's been over $500 last month. He's a shower.

Yes. And he thinks he's being private by being in the shower for hours. What are

you doing in the shower for 45 minutes? What are you doing? What are you doing?

I mean, I'm not too terribly surprised that his libido would be anything

somewhat similar to mine.

How many times a day would you say that Anthony pleasures himself?

Like ballparks.

Ballpark? I think that...

It's not even being generous.

Like, this is at least ten times a day if he has the chance.

I'm, like, I'm thinking of putting him into more sports.

He has to be, like, some sort of a healthier outlet for all this energy. I

I don't know. I've tried suggesting, you know, stamp collecting.

You know?

You know he's going to find a way to use the stamp to jerk off at two.

Oh, I don't want to think about that. Oh, instead of licking the back of you.

Don't let him have idle hands.

And I think that, like, maybe, like, they're group activities, but even,

he's such a little pervert that I'm pretty sure the group activities will

into something, too.

No, I wasn't ready. It'll be over, right, at some point. You know, they'll

out, and we'll have our houses back again. I don't have to, like, make noise

when I walk into a room.

I mean, I've dated a bunch, and I'm married. I think all men are just

I mean, I can't really argue.

I'm like, that can't be true, but I also can't think of an example.

I caught Anthony sniffing my panties.

I caught Tyler sniffing my panties.

I don't know where they get it. I thought, I was like, okay.

I mean, is it just curiosity?

I don't know. I mean, he hasn't really had a girlfriend yet, you know?

I wish he would date. I mean, like, I would throw condoms at him.

I feel like he's...

scared of girls like he has to be comfortable in a situation and this is a

situation you know he hasn't really done it yet so i wonder how we could

possibly help like you know change my hobby i mean there has to be something i

mean i don't know i'll keep trying i'm sure something will present itself right

just have to stay open yeah and think about it I really hope something changes

because I'm really tired of buying conditioner. I've hidden it from him and

found it. He finds it? He finds my conditioner. I feel like I'm going to

start putting it under lock and key.

Right. Well, you know what? Why don't we put these, do you want to put these by

the sill? I feel like they'll cool better.

Okay.

Oh, so beautiful and even on the top.

So well, perfectly done.

Well, good luck.

Yeah. May the best pie win.

All right.

Handsome boy, you look very relaxed.

No, I guess.

Hey, look at me for just a minute. What?

We're going to be going over to the market real quick.

The pie's in the kitchen.

Hey, please pay attention.

Not snacks, okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Please, fridge, don't touch the pie.

It's all yours.

Anything in the kitchen.

But the pies.

Okay. All right. Yeah, fine.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. I don't want to touch the pies.

What's up, bro? How you been?

I'm pretty good. How about yourself?

No, not too bad.

Almost got out that one check.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Did she let me like brush up against her arm and stuff like that?

Dude, no way. Did you actually like, just like come feel something?

I mean, like I was like feeling a little bit, but you know, in about a month,

I'll be there.

Yeah.

Bro, speaking of getting with someone, your mom's like really fucking hot.

Come on, bro. Don't even say that about my mom. No, dude. Like, dude, be honest.

Like, you look at your mom, right? She's a babe.

I mean, yeah, she's pretty, but I don't think she has anything on your mom.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Nah, do you mind? Come on, we could both admit they're pretty hot.

Yeah. Let's just settle this right now. Yeah, yeah, fine.

I can agree with that. It's a little weird, but yeah.

Yeah, man.

I've been beating my dick off like ten times a day.

Ten times a day? Yeah.

Like...

Pussy shit, I do mine like 15 times a day. Really? Shit.

And to your mom.

Oh, come on, dude.

I've been fucking shooting blanks recently.

But I did sniff my mom's panties the other day.

Oh, yeah? Well, so did I. And jack off to it.

Fat loads, am I right?

Hell yeah.

Oh.

Well.

Wait, what?

I thought that was, like, uncommon, but I've just been, like, craving some

fucking pussy right now.

I feel, dude.

I don't have any sisters or anything.

Yeah, me neither. It's rough out here.

Yeah. You smell that?

Yeah. Does it smell like pussy?

Maybe. I don't know.

Check it out.

Where is it?

Oh, shit.

That's it.

Kind of smells like pussy, doesn't it?

Yeah. I've heard that it kind of feels like pussy, too.

Really? Hey, bro, what are you doing? You're sticking your finger in my mom's

pie.

What? I mean, that's the closest I could get to your mom. Oh, dude.

I mean... It probably tastes like it, too.

I call this corner.

I got this one.

Oh, fuck, dude.

Oh, yeah. This is a real fucking deal, right?

Oh, fuck.

He told me to do it. Why?

It was his idea. This is the last straw.

I know, but it was just so tempting.

I heard this felt like the real thing. I

was just too tempted to try it.

Not that it would help at all. I don't know what to do.

I'm at my wit's end.

I have no idea. Unfortunately, I think that they take after their fathers.

You know what?

I think it's time that we step in.

I think it's time that we take this situation in hand.

We both agreed that maybe drastic measures would be necessary.

We did.

That pie was important to me. It was important to Miss Jessica.

I apologize, Mother.

Sorry, Mom.

Sorry, Mom.

I just don't feel any better.

What would make me feel better would be having this resolved.

And I think that I have an idea.

Exactly engaged.

We had a conversation and we

think we found a resolution.

We think that you boys need a little education.

And

If you are not going to have an outlet by finding yourself a girlfriend,

they scare you, I think it's time to take some

drastic measures and make you more comfortable with women.

So, when a man falls in love with a woman,

and not a pie, his penis...

Mark, please.

You need to listen.

Do not cover your ears.

This is why you fornicated with the pot. It's okay.

Penis.

You boys have a penis.

And women have vaginas.

Actually, properly called the vulva. The whole thing. The vagina is just the

vulva. Exactly.

You mean pussies?

No. No.

We keep soap and hot sauce in this house, Anthony.

I'll have you know.

So vaginas or vulvas.

Vulvas. So vaginas just the whole.

Right.

Is a woman's flower.

And the man. Certainly not a pie.

Certainly not a pie.

Certainly not my probably award winning pie.

And Jessica's pie.

And when the penis becomes engorged, engorged, engorged,

it's in a prime state to penetrate, penetrate

a woman's orifices, orifices,

orifices, orifices.

One orifice.

We're not going that far. And yet you did not think that my strawberry rhubarb

was nesting.

It's all over the floor.

I hope we're not.

Well,

it entered.

But before you enter, you have to coax the flower, because the flower isn't

something to be wrapped and pounded and hug.

Oh, what?

A woman's flower needs to be coaxed. Why are you calling it a

flower? Do you want me to call it a vulva?

Oh, God, no.

Pussy. We will not call it a pussy. It's a pussy.

No, a pussy is a cat.

I can't talk about this with my own mom.

It's just not right. I've got nothing.

Why don't we switch?

Just switch. Yeah.

Perfect. Let's switch.

Okay.

Anthony, sit up straight when I'm speaking to you.

Okay, so there are different ways that a woman can be excited.

It can be a little bit intricate, but if... Let's start with anatomy.

Okay, so there are... Look, I think I'm a little more hands -on with this type

of stuff.

Cute. Well, hands -on, like, you

need to do something before you learn how to do it.

So, with a penis, there are different

parts, which I don't actually know if you're familiar with. I know that

can be a little squeamish about these things.

But there's a shaft and a gland.

There's a urethral opening.

And, of course, testicles.

Right? And the point of testicles is here.

Cheers. It is.

Semen, seminal fluid.

ejaculate, sperm, which can

be rudely termed jizz or other things that I'm sure you will pick up over

time.

And when it is emitted, it's

pleasurable.

You know that, right?

It's pleasurable. And speaking of women, it can be pleasurable

for me as well, especially when the ejaculate is

warm. Oh.

Well,

I know.

It can be a little icky.

And, you know, it's a beautiful act.

Look, I don't want to hear all that.

I just want to fuck pussy.

I don't wish, Anthony.

Oh, I'm this close to cleaning out that little mouth of yours.

Anyway,

I'm sure that you do.

And be that as it may, I think that that attitude has gotten you to a very

interesting place.

Have you, as you put it, fucked pussy? A lot of pussy?

I'm not hearing a no.

What about his?

Breasts?

Sure, whatever.

Well, what about them? Did you have any specific questions?

Well, could I motorboat them?

Okay, you know what, young man? You are going to learn about pleasure and

seduction and everything else like that. Do you understand?

Yes? Yes, ma 'am. Yes, Ms. Farber. Yes, Ms. Farber. I like that, too.

Tyler.

I know you're about to pay me a kiss, Anthony, and I hear you're having the

issues.

Yeah, I guess.

And you do know that your mom is very well aware of using her hand cream

Yeah, but you guys don't get it. Like, we need to do that.

Yes. I'd be respectful for you.

So I can't use her lotion, her panties, or anything?

Yeah, about the panties.

That's a little peculiar because she's your mom.

Is that because you're comfortable with her more than other girls your age?

I don't know. I just thought it was hot.

Okay. Okay, yeah. Your mom is a very beautiful woman.

Maybe not the most age -appropriate, but I can understand the attraction.

Age is just a number.

Age?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Um, and I can certainly understand not being, um, attracted to,

um, love.

Give me your right hand.

Damn, bro, I told your mom I'm great, dude.

What are you doing?

What? I'm teaching him. You know, teaching him to learn. And I teach as

I have been taught. Oh, yeah?

All right.

Well, I suppose class isn't session, then.

Oh.

Can we go do this tomorrow?

Ask and answer.

No.

Come on. Come on.

Focus. Focus.

Focus.

Okay.

Let's look back.

Can you undo my bra, maybe?

Find the back of it and you just kind of one -handed or you can do two hands if

you want.

But there's like a...

Can you tell

me where's

my area?

Oh, yeah, that's it, roughly.

Maybe more to the right.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, Anthony.

Oh, God. Well, why don't I show you where the...

Really?

Yeah.

Bro,

what the fuck?

What? She pulled it out, not me.

Okay, here. Okay,

here. You know what?

What she's doing.

Calls.

Calls.

Yeah, or fellatio.

Quiet down over there, mom. I can hear you.

Gross.

Dude, you have the best mom ever.

I can hear you over there, too.

I'm not sure we should be doing this.

This is a lot better than doing that with pie.

Oh my god, I'm gonna come soon.

Are you even trying, Nancy? Yeah, yeah. I'm getting there.

Sorry,

I've already, like, whacked it 15 times today.

That's impressive.

Even with his mother around.

It is very impressive.

He must really like beautiful breasts.

Yeah.

I never thought I'd be doing this in front of my own mom.

I never thought I'd be doing this in front of my own mom.

Focus over here, okay?

You're going to learn so much today.

She takes such good care of you.

Um, no.

Hey, that's like your panty.

Well, thank you.

I suppose you're safe, probably.

Yeah, I'm going to learn.

Don't get to know a woman's body.

Oh, my God, Mom. What are you doing getting naked? I thought your son was a

dick, too.

Let's make it, please.

You know what?

You know what? She can play that game. If you're getting naked, it's all mine.

Mom, really?

You're in front of me? Do you want to clean her panties?

Next year, am I going to find these under your bed again?

I don't know.

Not as long as Miss Ryan's here.

I bet you're really pretty under there.

You know.

I have an idea.

Yeah.

I mean, that's enough, right? You know what that feels like.

Yeah. You know what your mouth feels like?

Uh, mom?

Yes, dear?

Can you, like, not do that?

Oh, come on.

No.

Well, I'm a little weird, too.

Mom, can you keep it down over there? I can hear you.

Oh, that's good.

You're doing so nice. It's fun.

You did a very good job.

You must have a very good teacher.

I don't know what you're talking

about.

Did you look at your mom?

No.

Yeah, that's weird.

Bye.

Do you think we could change our positions?

There's something about the way you look at me appreciating this.

Oh, gross.

Obviously.

You're beautiful.

Oops, sorry.

I don't know where I'm kicking.

Thank you very much.

Look at you getting all the way.

You're not the only one that likes pussy.

I didn't think you guys would be in on this.

I had to hang out with her because she makes great pie.

Have you guys done it before? No.

It sure looks like it.

I've done it before.

You are.

Those bulbs are all the way up to her vulva.

That's really very impressive.

I don't know if we're doing grades, but I think you get an A.

That's a little weird, you guys. You guys don't even seem to care.

Your dick is hanging right over your mother's head.

That's different, though. Why don't you put your dick in her mouth?

What? Put your dick in her mouth.

What?

What's going on up there? Oh, my gosh.

Why can't we?

Oh, that was a good point.

Yeah?

Oh, my God. I almost like it better.

Maybe this is kind of a secret.

Maybe we don't talk about this.

I won't say anything.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I can't.

Your dad will be so upset.

He doesn't need to know. It's just, it's just.

Oh, it's okay.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck. Oh,

my God.

You're so warm.

Oh, my God.

Is that a good thing, Mom?

That's a very good thing.

Can you feel that right there? That is mommy's deep butt. Oh, my God.

Am I hurting it? You're touching it.

Mommy likes it. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, mommy likes it. Oh,

honey, mommy likes your... Mommy likes your...

What if I bring all these?

Oh, God.

Are you being clever?

Are you trying to get clever with Mommy? Are you being smart now?

No, I'm sorry, Mom.

I think that if you end up with all these, you're going to have to give me a

very, very special apology.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I'll see what I can do.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

That feels really good. Oh, my God.

You don't think I'm giving you a complex, do you?

No, Mom. I think everything's fine between us.

Just add a little spice to our home life.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

They're switching.

Yeah, we can switch too. Yeah, we can switch too.

I'm going to make things competitive.

You know when you're winning.

That's what you call it.

Oh, Jessica, you are my best friend of me.

Oh, that's why we always have a pie to cook up.

Yeah, you enjoying that, huh?

Oh, my God.

You like your son's pie?

Oh, God. I do.

Oh, I do like it. Fuck, you're going to make me come like that.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

God, everything is so great.

No. Oh, my God.

You really want to taste it. Yeah. You really want to taste it. It's so pretty.

Oh, let me taste.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

my God. Let me see how much you can make. I bet you make a lot.

I like to just figure it out. I bet you do.

Maybe more so than certain blondes. Your shower may make more.

You're going

to

get really hard on your cock, aren't you?

You want to show Mommy how much you like it?

Yeah.

You know, Jessica.

Yeah. I feel like Tyler's a little bit gifted.

And maybe he could make, like, a lot of cum.

You know what I mean? I suppose that we won't know until it actually happens.

Then we can find out.

You want to show Mommy what a little winner you are?

You want to show me?

Show me how much you can do and show me how much you really, really love me.

Yes, ma 'am.

I think that I can get my own. Thank you very much.

I like sharing.

I like sharing.

That's the biggest, prettiest cock Mommy's ever seen, huh?

You do.

You do. It's a nice, big, tight ball.

Look.

It's so pretty.

Your cock is so pretty, sweetheart.

I mean, like, so much.

It's big and it's beautiful.

It's very special.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, okay.

Oh, right, Tyler.

Oh, did you not get enough?

Did you need some more?

Yeah?

Dirty girl.

You're so competitive.

I think you won this one, though.

You're covered.

I know. No, I have two full necklaces.

Thank you.