Original subtitles

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that

started from this tropic sport aboard this tiny ship. The weather started

getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless

crew, the bill would be lost. The bill would be lost.

The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle.

Where they will rescue one finding. But it took a long, long while.

It took a long, long while.

The Howell Children's Hotel here to commemorate their stay with Gilligan.

The skipper's blue.

The millionaire and his wife.

The movie star.

The professor and Marianne. Here on Gilligan's Island.

Skipper?

Skipper?

Skipper, are you sleeping?

Yes, Gilligan, I'm sleeping.

That's too bad. I had some important news to tell you.

What was it?

Well, there's no sense in telling you if you're sleeping, you wouldn't even hear

it.

Gilligan, I'm wide awake now. What is the important news?

I just remembered where I left my comic book.

Oh, that's important.

Go to sleep, Gilligan.

First I have to get my comic book.

I'll be right back, Skipper.

I like that new tune.

I'm scared.

My head's sticking straight up.

And so is mine.

Go in the cockpit and see what's happening, man.

Dewey is a good coach and a good parlor.

Right now, I wish he was a coach instead of a parlor.

You're in the middle of a sick ocean. I can't even swim.

Stand by Jaws 1 and Jaws 2 and get ready, Jaws 3.

Keep calm.

This is no time to panic. It may be our only time, man.

I just saw Dewey. I got some good news and some bad news.

Well, what's the good news?

The good news is Dewey's fixing the engine. There's no problem.

Well, what's the bad news?

Well, the bad news is I just made up the good news.

Now, something's wrong with the electrical system.

He can't even radio for help.

Ben?

Ben? What's happening?

Hey, Dewey, can you fix it? Nope.

But I did put it on automatic pilot.

And I want you fellas to know that I'm doing everything I can.

How's our chances?

Well, I took advantage of the tailwind.

I tried heading due north.

I tried heading due west.

Which way are we heading now?

Due down.

Heading due down, we're going to get due west. I knew we should have taken the

train. Nah, be cool, fellas. Everything's going to be all right

a tiny little island on the map.

And that's where we're heading.

And if we can make it there, I can land the plane.

What if we can't reach it? Yeah, what if we can't make it? Yeah.

Slam dunk!

We are anchored here, out of sight of these individual huts, which constitute

the Castaway's Hotel.

Repeat the last seven words, please.

Individual hut.

which constitutes the Castaways Hotel.

Very good, George.

And my old adversary, Thurston Howell III and his family, commemorated the

they were shipwrecked by keeping the hotel primitive.

No cars, no electricity, no phones.

It's very difficult to contact the outside world, which makes it a perfect

for our secret plans.

There's just no need to repeat my laugh.

Yes, yes.

Last year when I stayed at the Castaway Hotel, I accidentally stumbled into this

cave located here.

And in that cave, I made the greatest discovery of this entire century.

A brand new element I call supremium.

I am not familiar with that word.

Supremium is a perfect source of energy.

But in order to take control of it, I must get rid of the seven castaways.

That will take trickery.

I wouldn't have it any other way, George.

George!

I have good news, JJ.

Tell me, Olga.

You have given the supremium the final test.

That is the good news.

In spite of this intense glow, there is no heat, no radiation.

Supremium is energy in its purest form.

Molecules of light.

There is enough energy in this one rock to heat the entire state of Idaho for

two weeks in the wintertime. Who cares? Idaho is small potatoes.

What about weapons, bombs, warheads, missiles, supremely atomic power?

Whoever controls this new energy source controls the world.

It is ten times more powerful than any other known source of energy.

And soon it will be mine.

All mine.

The other people on this island, do they know about Supremium? Absolutely not. I

wandered into that cave by accident.

I'm the only living soul that knows about this phenomenon.

You almost scared me out of my wits.

How can you be scared out of something you don't have?

Turn off that lamp and go to sleep.

That's not a lamp, Skipper. That's a funny rock I found in the cave.

Then turn off the funny rock and go to sleep. We've got to get up early in the

morning.

That's better.

Now go to sleep.

Good night, Skipper.

Skipper?

Goodnight, Gilligan.

Thank you.

What's the matter now?

There's a great big hairy spider on my chest.

Come on, Gilligan, you're just having another one of your bad dreams.

Oh, what a relief.

For a minute there, I thought you were real. Bye.

Gilligan, I see a real hairy spider.

Don't worry, Skipper, it's just a bad dream.

Where is he?

What's all the noise about?

I had a bad dream about a big, ugly spider, and Skipper had the same dream.

It wasn't a bad dream, Professor. The spider's right there.

Good grief.

That's a Lycosa centralia. I thought it was a spider.

It is a spider, Gilligan. It's a particularly venomous species of

its bite is deadly.

There's something very puzzling about this.

I must examine this species a little more carefully.

Why don't you gentlemen get those two fishing poles over there and steer

this jar?

This one of the poles?

All right.

Here, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey. Here, Spidey, Spidey, Spidey.

That's right here. Get in there.

There. Come on, come on, come on. There he goes, right in the jar. All right,

Gilligan, quick. Get something to cover the jar.

It's the most terrible thing I've ever heard.

Imagine putting a deadly spider into somebody's hut.

Yeah, that really is terrible.

It's so big and it's so hairy.

It must be a male spider.

How do you girls know about a big, hairy spider?

What do you mean, how we know?

We captured one in our hut.

We put it in this jar.

Did you ever see anything so ugly?

Yeah, the one we caught. It's a lot more horrible than that one. I mean, this

one we got has got beady eyes and long black legs and fangs and they're

Cut that out. Come on. Here.

This one is ours.

Well, it looks just like ours.

Maybe they're brothers, huh?

Well, at least cousins. Yes, another Lychosa centralia. A species never found

this part of the world.

Now we found them.

How come I get stuck with all the dumb jobs around here? Like picking mangoes

and polishing brass and carrying suitcases. Didn't Mr. Howell make me a

in this place like the rest of you? Of course he did, Gilligan. He made us all

limited partners.

Only you're a little more limited than the rest of us.

What's a limited partner?

Gilligan, any five -year -old kid knows what a limited partner is.

What is it?

I don't know. I'm not a five -year -old kid.

Now get moving!

to the beach, but we're not sure about the weather. Yeah, if it's going to be

cloudy, we have to put some warmer clothes on.

Oh, no, don't do that.

I mean, it'll be nice and sunny and beautiful, even if I have to push the

away myself personally.

But I tell you what I'll do. I'll go and check the latest weather report.

Thanks, Skipper. Bye.

We lost our equipment and we lost our uniforms.

We lost everything except the most important thing of all, our lives. Yeah,

that's right.

That's thinking positive.

Now look, fellas, you can't make any points by sitting around.

So we got to build a fire, we got to make shelter, dry our clothes, and get

coconuts and dates for food, and be ready in a half an hour.

Ready for what? For our first practice.

Practice. That's right.

See, because when we get rescued, we can be ready for the tour.

So on the double, let's go.

What if there are wild animals or cannibals in there?

Oh, not on these tiny little islands.

We're thousands of miles from any kind of intelligent life.

Oh, Junior, I'm so glad you were able to be here to help run the island in your

daddy's absence.

Well, actually, I was very busy, Mummy.

I didn't know whether to come to the island or simply send for it.

Oh, you dear boy.

You've got your daddy's sense of humor.

Yeah, well, among other things.

Hi, Lucinda. Why, Mr.

Skipper, this is a surprise.

I don't believe you have an appointment with Mrs. Howell. I know.

Or with Thurston Howell IV.

I know. I just wanted to check the weather report on their private

set. Oh, well, I'm real sorry.

Honest to lilacs I am, but I don't believe you have a viewing appointment

either. Good gracious, what's all the chattering about?

Well, I wanted to look at your TV for a few minutes. Why?

I wanted to check the weather report.

Oh, well, I'm sorry, Captain, but it's almost time for the financial report.

But the weather report is important.

Well, now, Captain, in your humble opinion, and any opinion that isn't a

opinion is humble indeed, what is more important, the weather report or the

financial report?

Oh, Junior, I know the answer to that.

The financial report, of course. It's always sunny if you've got money.

Oh, I made a rock.

Hey, Mommy.

Mr. Howell, please. The weather news will be over by the time your program

on. Oh.

Well, all right. Let's turn on the telly. Lucinda.

Mr. Skipper.

All right.

Teddy, you sit right here.

And I lift this up and I push this button first.

Goodbye, George. And here's...

the latest on the disappearance of the plane carrying the Harlem Globetrotters.

Oh, no.

Oh, my gosh. Good heavens.

How perfectly awful.

Who are the Harlem Globetrotters?

The Harlem Globetrotters are the greatest team in the history of the

And it would be tragic if anything happened to them.

But tonight it's feared that those great international ambassadors of goodwill

are lost somewhere in the Pacific.

I do, yeah, do, yeah, do, yeah, do. Oh,

Georgia, Georgia Brown.

I'll tell you why.

You know I don't lie.

Not much.

When she lands in town, boy, she really knocks them down.

Hey, fellas.

Lucinda, I just saw the most amazing thing on the other side of the island.

Hush, Gilligan. We're viewing this special program about the Harlem

Globetrotters. Yeah, but you don't... Professor... Now, Gilligan, just

look at those globetrotters. The angles and trajectories they achieve.

I just saw some guys that can do that with coconuts.

Ginger, I just saw some guys that are bigger than those guys.

I always wanted to be a cheerleader, but whenever I shook my pom -poms, nobody

watched the game.

What's the matter, Marianne?

Oh, Gilligan.

When I was a little girl... Oh, come on, Marianne. Don't cry. Everybody was a

little girl. Unless they were a little boy.

Oh, you're right.

When I was a little girl, my daddy used to take me to see the Globetrotters.

And now my whole childhood is just flashing in front of my eyes.

But, Marianne... Oh, shh.

What a team.

I bet... I bet a million dollars there isn't anyone that they couldn't beat.

Would you believe if I told you I just saw a bunch of guys who can play

basketball as good as those guys?

I believe you, Gilligan.

Why didn't you tell it to me?

Skipper, guess what I saw on the other side of the island.

Not now, Gilligan.

Did you ever see a team like those Globetrotters before?

Yeah, on the other side of the island.

Listen, Skipper... Skipper, I've been thinking.

Those Harlem Goat Trotters were lost on the plane around here, and those guys

look exactly like these guys, and these guys look exactly like those guys. Maybe

those guys are these guys, and these guys are those guys.

Why haven't you told this to someone before?

Well, I tried, Skipper, I tried.

Well?

I have isolated the ferric supremium from the silicate formations and

the residue by liquefaction.

Simple English, please.

I have squeezed the rock and made supremium juice.

And is the power as remarkable as you'd hoped?

We are looking at pure supremium.

There is enough power in one drop of pure supremium to cool the city of Miami

for the entire month of July.

I talk of world conquest, and she talks about air conditioning.

I have something to show you, J .J.

With one drop of pure supremium.

Very interesting.

But... That's just a little toy. I'd like to see a bigger demonstration.

You want something bigger?

Now let me see.

I thought you got it.

No, no, not me.

It's all in the interest of science, my friend.

Sweetly learning.

What publicity for the hotel.

Daddy will be so proud. We'll pack guests in here like goldfish.

Don't you mean sardines, Mr. Howell?

No, no, I mean goldfish.

24 karat, of course.

Mommy, where have you been?

Oh, I was changing, Junior.

Yes, and I have been personally supervising all the decorations.

That's almost like physical labor.

I'm sorry, dear.

But one has to change, you know. One can't wear just anything to Earth.

Exactly what is it we are celebrating?

The glorious discovery of the globetrotters.

Well, bless my begonias. Here they come now.

Your genial and warm -hearted host.

And the apple of my father's eye.

On behalf of this small island, I welcome the large glovedrotters.

The whole world is

eagerly awaiting word of your rescue.

And to show how grateful we are that you have survived.

the ordeal, while at the Castaways Hotel, you will be our honored guests.

There will be no charge.

Who wants to speak?

Auntie, Mr. Howell.

Gentlemen,

we will notify the outside world at once.

Meanwhile, as long as you're at this hotel, feel free to... Lucinda, your

vocabulary.

You have the run of the place.

Or the dribble of the place, if you prefer.

A little basketball joke there.

dance step to show you.

It's called the salt and pepper.

Great. Show her the steps.

You're awesome.

You just keep shaking until the music stops.

ever guess what happened? It was awful.

Terrible. The worst thing you can imagine.

What? We could have been killed.

There I was, facing what could be certain death and an uncertain future.

Would this be my last moment?

Had I drawn my last breath?

Could I depend on the arrival of Colonel Scott and the 12th Cavalry?

Each moment seemed an eternity.

And what about my child?

Would I ever see Little Running Wolf again?

Only time would tell. And time was running out.

ask you.

I ask you. Yes, yes, ask me what?

I don't know.

I can't remember my next line.

It was from a movie I was in, Feathers on the Frontier.

I think it was a western.

Marianne, do you know what she's talking about?

Yes, we were in the gym hut and the whole wall fell in on us. We could have

killed. But it's impossible for that wall to fall down. It's made of the

sturdiest bamboo and the strongest pegs.

Mr. Pearson, come in.

George to Mr. Pearson, come in.

Pearson here.

Let's have the report on plan A, George.

Trickery and deceit does not seem to be working.

I'll be the judge of that, George.

The tarantulas did not frighten the castaways off the island.

Neither did the collapsing walls.

Nor did the dying plants.

And the only thing I have left is... I've heard enough, George.

Do not get mad at me, Mr. Pearson. It was your plan.

I am just a poor, stupid robot doing what you programmed me to do.

I've got to get rid of those castaways.

So the Supremium will be mine, all mine. But how?

How?

Relax, J .J. How can I relax?

I've got to get control of that island.

You will think of some mean and rotten plan. You always do.

It's true.

I win because I always win.

Now, you do understand.

Of course.

First, we lift it.

When I say now, you go pull the rope.

You think I was dumb or something?

Or something.

Now, when I say heave, start lifting.

Right.

Are you ready? In a second.

Where are your feet?

In my sneakers. That's where I always keep them.

Let's try it again.

I want you to start walking, and when I yell stop, I want you to stop.

Gotcha. And remember, stop dead in your tracks, not another step.

I'll put the pegs in myself.

You can trust me.

I seem to be lost. How do I find the beach?

Oh, it's right back to that one.

Take good

care of these people now.

Oh, Mr.

Howell. No, no, no, please.

No more problems.

I am exhausted.

I've been charming all morning.

No problem, sir.

You will be happy to hear a good friend of your father's has just arrived.

Oh. One of the Astors, no doubt.

No, sir.

Vanderbilt, perhaps?

No, sir.

At least a Rockefeller.

Mr. J .J. Pearson, sir.

Who?

J .J. Pearson?

Oh, no.

Not him. He's Daddy's worst enemy.

You'll never guess what's happened.

You're in such a dither.

You haven't even noticed my new outfit.

Oh, it's beautiful.

What's the occasion?

To greet J .J. Pearson.

What? You knew that that scoundrel was coming to the island?

Scoundrel? I always thought he was enchanting.

J .J. Pearson is a swine.

Oh, but he has a savoir -faire.

Just because he kisses your hand.

He's a snake.

Make up your mind. Junior, is he a swine or is he a snake?

Both.

He's a Yale man.

I know why you hate him so. Because he always makes bets with you and your

father. And he always wins.

Lily!

JJ. You look younger every time I see you, my dear.

And more.

Count the diamonds, mummy.

You, Junior.

You haven't changed a bit.

I know, and I've been insulted.

Junior.

Oh, allow me to introduce my colleague.

The world -famous scientist, Dr. Olga Smetana.

Charmed. Oh, very charmed indeed.

My pleasure.

Pardon me, Mr. Howell.

I have Gilligan waiting down at the dock. Their luggage.

Alone?

You're right.

I'd better go down and check on him, make sure that he doesn't get lost.

Oh, Professor, so good to see you again.

Welcome back, Mr. Pearson. Thank you. I'm sure you know Dr. Olga Smetana.

Dr. Smetana?

On our island?

I've always dreamed of meeting you.

You must be the professor.

Yes, I must be.

To meet a colleague of such esteem is the reason I came to this island. Oh,

you're too kind.

I have read your paper on the osmosis and the symbiosis of the Venus flight

trap. Oh, that was nothing compared with your work on the interaction of

kinetics and energy.

I was wondering, would it be possible for me to examine your facilities?

I'd be delighted.

Please.

Well, Junior, I'll bet anything you're glad to see me.

Did you say bet?

And did you say anything?

My poor baby will never learn.

It will give me great pleasure to take your money once again.

Let's say we make a small wager about time.

Time? Yes.

I'll bet 10 ,000 that it'll become dark as night within the next minute.

Within one minute? Why, it's only just past noon.

Well, come, come. Do we have a bet?

A little thing known as an eclipse, my boy.

That should keep you on your toes.

Of all the sneaky, underhanded tricks.

Cash will do nicely.

Never seen anything like you before.

I have never seen anything like you.

You sure do talk funny.

I talk as I am programmed.

Why do you talk as you do?

Because I'm Gilligan.

I am George.

Hi, George.

Go, George.

Listen,

I came here to help you with the luggage, okay?

I do not need help.

I can do anything.

Can you do this?

That is difficult.

I do not have ears.

Can you do this?

How did you do that?

I could teach you, but you would only do it one time.

I'll give you a hand with the backs anyway.

Dallas, open this one.

Fellas, the people here at the hotel have treated us great.

Helped us lay out the practice court, get the equipment and uniforms.

Now, one of them asked if we would play the castaways team for the

championship of this hour.

Now, can anybody guess who issued that challenge?

Yes!

You have another plan.

Exactly.

All I need is a pen, the deed to the island, and the Harlem Globetrotters to

have the entire world in the palm of my hand.

I want to be loved by you, just you, and nobody else

but you.

I couldn't aspire.

And nobody else but you.

I want to be loved by you alone.

I want to be kissed by you, just you. And nobody else

but you.

I want to be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you.

in Kismet? That depends.

I own one of the largest movie studios in Hollywood.

I believe in fate, destiny, and Kismet.

Good. I'm about to film a musical version of Gone with the Wind to be

simply... Marvelous title.

I've changed the locale from the deep south to a tropical island in the

Marvelous locale.

The last line of the film is, Frankly, Tondoleo, I don't give a damn.

Marvelous last line.

Once I've been searching for the perfect actress.

And now that I've heard you sing and dance, the search is over.

Sign here.

Gee, I don't know.

Why are you hesitating, my dear?

Well, it would mean leaving the island, my friends, the shipwreck room.

Just to make this one picture?

No sequel, no TV series?

No videocassettes?

Who never knows.

Lucinda? Lucinda? I must talk to Mrs. Howell and her son.

Why, of course. Professor?

You do have an appointment, I presume.

No, but it is a matter of life and death.

A matter... Of life and death, and you don't even have an appointment?

For shame!

Lucinda, they are trying to kill us all.

Including the house?

Over my dead body?

How can one pose with all that racket?

I have got to talk to both of you.

What do you think?

Perfect likeness?

We're getting off the track. We have an emergency here.

Look.

Look at the scratches on these pegs from the wall of the gym hut. Some odd type

of wrench was used to pull them out.

And my plants, deliberately poisoned.

And look at Mr. Howell's teddy bear.

Daddy's teddy!

Daddy's teddy!

He should have taken it with him. A giant boulder was deliberately loosened

rolled down a hill aimed directly at your lounge chairs. They were smashed to

smithereens. Oh, poor little thing.

Wall -to -wall teddy.

Sitting in your chair, imagine if you had been sitting there.

Assault and battery is one thing.

Murder is another, but when you flatten a man's teddy, you've gone too far.

Mrs. Hubble, do you have any enemies?

Oh, yes, thousands.

And that's only the A -list.

I want you to write down the names of your enemies, especially those you

consider most suspicious, and I'll be back.

I'll be back.

It'd all be dead.

Well, in that case, perhaps I can squeeze you in at 10.

There you are.

Ooh, ooh, this skipper's going to be sore.

Oh, Gilligan, why do you have to make so many mistakes?

Maybe one of your transistors is loose.

Who said that?

Me.

George. Hi, George. Listen, people don't have transistors. They have brains.

Maybe that's why people make... so many mistakes.

Sometimes I wish I was a robot, then I'd hardly never make a mistake.

Yes, it is really terrific.

Terrific.

Terrific.

Thank you, Gilligan. You're welcome, George.

You did me a favor. Now I will do you a favor.

Sign this, and you will get one million dollars.

One million dollars just for signing this? Two million.

Two million?

Hey, this is a deed to the island.

I'm not selling out my prints for any reason.

That's no reason.

That's no reason.

That's a reason.

But I'm going to tell all my friends what you made me do.

Well, my dear, supper will soon be ready.

That's all right.

I love this first course.

Oh, I'm sure you'll enjoy the rest of the meal.

Patty de foie gras, baking duck, truffles. Do you like truffles?

A trifle.

Would you like some more champagne?

Just a truffle.

Do you ever wonder, my dear, what the future holds in store for you?

Oh, well, everybody wonders about that.

Don't you ever wonder what you're going to be when you grow up?

No. You see, I believe in psychic phenomena.

You know, they say the best way to tell someone's future is through their

handwriting.

Oh, what they won't think of next.

I'd love to read yours.

What should I write?

How about a letter home?

Dear Mom, I'm a Mr. Pearson's doctor.

Sign your name right there.

Very good.

rate as it looks.

You have to have a bit of knowledge of the tides, certainly you have to have

knowledge of the winds, and you must have a feeling for the ocean itself.

Now, I'd be glad to share my experiences with you both personally.

Excuse me, Skipper, do you have a moment for me, please?

Certainly. Bon voyage, ladies.

Yes,

Doctor. Oh, please, you can call me Olga.

It is not for me, exactly. It is for Mr. Pearson.

You see, his new nuclear -powered ocean liner is almost complete, but he cannot

find a worthy captain.

Well, there must be someone around available like that. He has already

down Jacques Cousteau, Admiral Rickover, also Gregory Peck.

All good men.

Oh, good, but not good enough.

Oh, no, he is looking for a man who is an expert at seamanship, a born leader,

fearless.

Someone who can handle any emergency, perhaps having been shipwrecked here.

Do you happen to know anyone like that?

There aren't too many of us.

I was thinking if you and I could come up with just one name.

I think I have just the man.

Oh, good.

I want you to understand that no one has been able to steer the ship safely past

these obstacles.

Mr. Pearson, none of those men were worthy of the title captain.

Remarkable. He has scored 93 out of a possible 100 points.

That's nothing compared to what I went through with the minnow.

Sign the scorecard and make it official. It's my pleasure.

93, eh?

I should have had 100, but I really didn't expect that giant shark.

Admiral, you're the captain for me.

Oh, that's very nice, Mr. Pearson, but after all the troubles that I shared

my friends, I really must think that over.

You're quite a guy. You don't mind if I show this to my little buddy Gilligan?

Good day, Doctor.

But this is not the scorecard.

This is the deed to the island.

And signed by your own hand.

Which I shall immediately unsign.

George.

You don't think Mr. Nuts and Bolts here is going to be a match for me, do you?

Come on, George.

Come on.

I can't believe that I fell for a trick like that.

I was just plain dumb.

You sure were, Skipper.

Gilligan, I can call me dumb, but you can't call me dumb. Aye, aye, sir. But

sure was nice to hear someone else called dumb for a change.

As soon as J .J. gets our signatures, the item will belong to him.

Yeah, well, J .J. Pearson didn't get my signature.

Oh, great.

George did.

It was scary, Skipper.

First he tried to bribe me, but that didn't work. And then he got very

Did he try to hit you?

No, not me, the... palm tree. He cut it in half with one karate chop. So I

signed the paper right away.

I didn't want to be standing out there with all my sap running out.

Gilligan, you could never run out of sap.

This really would be terrible if J .J. Pearson owned this island, huh?

The only reason Pearson wants the island is because he wants to own the whole

world's supply of supremium.

What's that?

That stuff that's glowing on the walls.

Just to read comic books?

No, Gilligan, so he can control the world.

We've got to warn those others not to sign the deed.

Well, if he had a phone, we could call him.

If we could just get out of here, we could tell him personally.

Now, come on!

What is it now?

You just squashed the mango in my back pocket.

Hey, Skipper, you got a handkerchief?

Of course I have a handkerchief in my back pocket.

For all the good that'll do you.

If you could reach my handkerchief in my back pocket, you could reach the knife

in my back pocket, and we could cut our way out of these ropes.

Hey, where do I put the handkerchief?

In my back pocket. Didn't you hear anything that I told you?

You're free.

The mango juice.

Your hand must have slipped past the nut.

Get me out of here, quickly.

Oh,

no.

They sealed off the entrance to the cave with a boulder. I bet that robot did

it. He's real sneaky.

Oh, help me shove this thing out of the way.

And he's real strong, too.

It's obvious it's not going to budge. Maybe if I get a better grip, it'd help.

Couldn't hurt.

All right, Gilligan.

On the count of three now.

One, two, three.

It's beginning to work, little buddy.

Yeah. Of course it is, Skipper.

That's because you're pushing and I'm pulling.

too wonderful to think about. Now, come on. You've got to go warn the professor,

and I've got to warn the howls. Right. I warn the howls, you warn the professor.

No, no. I warn the professor, you warn the howls. Right? Right.

About what?

About losing the island, signing the deed, controlling the world.

Oh, yeah, that.

But come on.

Oh, yes, indeed. It is truly wonderful, beautiful.

A botanical wonder.

So primitive.

So wild.

A little too wild in places.

Now, careful of the quicksand. Thank you, Professor.

It is a perfect place, however, for you to grow your island mushrooms.

You know, Professor, it is a shame, a disgrace even, that your experiments

not brought you greater fame.

In my case, fame is practically non -existent.

Madame Curie discovered radium.

Einstein had his theory of relativity.

My major claim to fame has been 18 years as technical advisor to the Skipper and

Gilligan. You are a modest man, Professor.

And I love a man that is tall, dark, and modest.

Me? Yes, of course, you, Professor.

Who else am I talking to? There comes a time for the end of modesty, when a man

should assert himself.

That is why I'm proposing you for the Pearson Prize for Distinguished Island

Research. The Pearson Prize?

Donated by J .J. Pearson himself.

You get $500 ,000.

You get your own private laboratory.

You get lifetime subscription to Scientific American.

All you have to do is sign.

I have the application right here.

I'm not too late.

Listen, Professor, I got to tell you something.

Tell me what?

Gilligan, don't you understand? You are interrupting a perfect conversation.

Go play in the jungle.

It's very important.

What is it, then?

You can talk to the professor as soon as he signs this application.

Oh, no, that's what I want to talk to you about. In a minute, Gilligan.

Do you have a pen?

But of course.

Oh, no, you don't.

Gilligan, I don't know what's gotten into you. You're acting rude and

disrespectful.

Ha! You will make the professor late for the filing date of the Pearson Prize.

Now, not another word, Gilligan. Not until we're through discussing this

application. Now, go on over there and be quiet, and I mean it.

Good news, professor.

I have another pen.

Professor?

We are not listening. We are signing.

Professor, one little word?

In a minute, Gilligan.

This is one of the proudest moments of my life.

Yes, in mine, too.

One word.

Now I will take this to J .J. Pearson to process.

An itsy -bitsy word?

When can I expect to hear?

Don't call us. We'll call you.

One word.

Yes, Gilligan, what is it?

I've got to talk to Mrs. Howell and her son right away.

Why, certainly, Mr. Skipper. The Howells will be at hut between 2 .30 and 4.

I'd be happy to give you an appointment.

But you don't seem to understand. This is a matter of life or death.

Oh, merciful Magnolias. That's what everybody says. It's always life or

What?

Lucinda, for goodness sakes, what is going on out here?

The Skipper is trying to save your lives.

Without an appointment?

I told him.

But you don't... You don't seem to understand.

I hope we're not too late. I would have been here sooner, but I had to save

Gilligan's life.

I was in quicksand up to here. And here. And here. And here.

Oh, how perfectly awful.

Those wrinkles will never come out.

We've got to stop that lying J .J. Pearson.

He tricked us out of our shares of the island.

He got me tipsy on champagne.

You see, Mommy, I told you that J .J. Pearson cannot be trusted.

The man gives honest deceit a bad name.

We've got to do something.

Excuse

me,

but everybody here who is not a Howell is going to have to leave.

I'm sorry, but no... None of y 'all have an appointment.

I'd like a word with you, Junior.

Now, just a minute. You can't just barge in and talk to Mr.

Howell like this.

Oh, yes, they can.

They have an appointment.

Mr. Pearson?

Dr. Smetana?

All right, let's get to the bottom line, Junior.

Through trickery and deceit, I've managed to obtain every share of this

with the exception of yours, which I intend to get now.

Smetana, don't tell me you're a part of this dastardly scheme.

Even famous scientist has to eat.

Well, Junior, give up?

I am prepared to buy back.

All the shares of the island that you swindled from my friends.

Thank you.

And now, Mummy and I will negotiate with Mr.

Pearson.

If you don't mind.

Keep an eye on them.

I'm willing to offer you a sporting proposition. As you know, I'm a sporting

man. A sporting man?

You are a treacherous, conniving, unprincipled, perfidious scoundrel.

But, Charmy.

Mummy.

All right.

All right. What is this sporting proposition you're talking about?

A basketball game.

Between my new invincibles and your guests here on the island, the Howland

Globetrotters.

For ownership of the island. Exactly.

Who have they beaten?

Nobody. You see, they've never played professionally before.

Well, Junior, take it or leave it.

It's your last chance to get back to the island.

And a very big opportunity for the Howls to win a bet from me.

After all these years.

Unless you're chicken.

Chicken?

A howl is never chicken.

Pheasant under glass, perhaps, but never chicken.

Right then.

It's a bet.

Be certain to monitor the thermal

sensors. They are crucial.

You've done a wonderful job, Olga.

Wonderful. Thank you, J .J.

I'm so happy, even thrilled, that my talents have not escaped your attention.

None of your talents have escaped my attention, my dear. None of them.

Morning.

Morning. Morning. Pardon.

Just out for my morning. You know, nothing like a breath of island air to

the hollow lungs.

You are of a spying mission, pure and simple.

You've come to sneak a look at the new Invincibles, admit it.

Well, it's a free island.

At least it will be after the game.

You really think so, eh?

New Invincibles to the practice court, please.

Well, that fancy intercom will not help your team much against the Trotters.

If it were only an intercom, perhaps.

But this device is quite literally the brains of the team.

Oh, another handicap?

Invincibles are brainless?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's ridiculous.

All human beings have brains.

Even Democrats.

I never promised you human beings, my friend. I only promised you the new

Invincible.

And everybody, this is Chick Hearn welcoming you to a special edition of

Sports View. And we're coming to you live via satellite from a remote Pacific

island.

And in a few moments, you're going to see the most unusual event in the entire

history of sports, we think. The Harlem Globetrotters, coached by Dewey Stevens,

against the New Invincibles. And the New Invincibles are robots.

Yep, you heard right.

Robots. And this is going to be the basketball game of the century. We

understand that this game is, well, it came about as a sort of a gentleman's

bet. between Mr. J .J. Pearson and Thurston Howell IV, one of the co

this magnificent island.

And since these two men are considered among the world's richest individuals,

you can imagine what the stakes must be. And I'm sure that either man can afford

to lose, but from the intensity on the faces that we see around here, I'd have

to think that they were playing for the planet Earth.

He doesn't know just how right he is.

Mr.

Pearson. Oh, yes.

Could I have a word with you? Oh, I'm always happy to speak to members of the

press, yes. Well, thank you. Do you think this game is fair? After all,

aren't people.

Well, discrimination against anyone. Into the camera.

Discrimination against anyone, man or machine, should not be tolerated.

Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.

Someday, your toaster may grow up to be president.

Where's the professor?

I'll go get him.

Mummy, I've never seen you look more radiant.

Would you do that big

still? Oh, come on, girls. Come on, we do the big still.

Well,

I see that the cheerleaders for the Harlem Globetrotters are with us now, so

let's pick up the action along the sidelines.

Give me a G.

G. Give me an L.

L. Give me an O.

O.

See what I mean?

We'll get back to those cheerleaders in just a little bit. Now let's go down to

the other end of the floor and take a look at the new Invisibles warming up.

Right now, the Globetrotters are huddling along the sideline, and there

screen is the mastermind. That's Coach Dewey Stevens giving his club some last

-minute points about the game plan.

Dewey's a real pro. He's a veteran and a good student of the game of basketball,

and I'm sure that he's worked out a brilliant strategy.

What am I going to do?

What are you going to do? Man, what are we going to do? We're the ones who got

to go out there and get our butts kicked.

Hey, let's be reasonable. They've got to have a weakness.

Yeah, corrosion.

Even if they're robots, they're just a team, and we've played all kinds of

teams. Yeah, but we never played a team that had a mechanic instead of a

trainer. Hey, that's right.

Maybe they are.

and play some hard straight -up basketball.

Can you dig it?

All right, let's do it. All right.

Professor, come on. You're going to miss the big game. I can't go, Gilligan.

What if the tickets are free?

It's not that.

I saw the layout drill by the robots, and I'm afraid the Globetrotters have a

very difficult game coming up. So I came back here to study these diagrams of

computer layouts of various robots from the book.

Computer layouts of various robots.

By Dr. Olga Shmetna.

Can't you do that after the game?

Oh, by then it'll be too late.

I've got to find out the basic principles that make robots tick.

They also go... Gilligan, by examining these diagrams of the transistors and

circuitry, perhaps I can find a clue to the robots' weaknesses.

I must find out if they have an Achilles heel.

Oh, that's going to be pretty hard to do, Professor.

You see, they're wearing those big, ugly sneakers, and you keep...

The new Invincibles, Mr.

J .J. Pearson.

Fans, you probably know the Trotters have never played a home court game, but

they might have the home court advantage because the new Invincibles have only

one rooter, and he's probably a relative.

our center jump.

The new Invincibles tip the ball long and driving for the basket the new

Invincibles they put it up and they got a hoop.

And the score is 2 -0 as the Invincibles draw first blood. That play took

exactly two seconds.

Trotters ball out of bounds baseline backcourt.

Down is Thornton to Curly Neal.

Intercepted. Wow, are those invisibles. Quick, and it's four to nothing.

Thornton brings the ball in again. This time intercepted by number two, and he

gets a hoop. It's six to nothing in a matter of opening seconds.

Captain, this teaches me a valuable lesson. I'll never take another bet as

as I live.

Are you sure?

Want to bet?

The new Invincibles have a super passing game, and they usually wind up with a

very high percentage shot. And usually, it's right in the hole.

Basket for the new Invincibles. Number three! Number three!

A branch.

Passing that ball to Robert Page.

Page has the ball stolen. Another basket for the new Invincibles. Ten to one is

the score.

I'll come behind number two, Geese. Curly Neal, though.

Give the ball off to Geese.

Geese looking inside. Nothing there. Look at those arms flap.

See Curly back there, he says.

So Geese puts it up and it's driven right back at him. Stolen. Lake to the

floor. Pass. Another hoop for the new Invincibles.

Foul on you.

Double charge.

Two shots. Two shots. One for each foul.

Charging against the Trotters and under the rules of the...

makes it 13 to 1.

The Trotter's really getting pummeled here. The next one's good, and it's 14

1.

They're up and down this court path, and you can turn your head.

But I was pushed, man. No, I saw your two shots.

Are you blind?

Charging against the Trotters, and I'll tell you, every facet of the basketball

game offensively is going right down to the new Invincibles. They have run that

score up to 91 -1.

The first one's good.

And so is the second. The robots have not missed a free throw in this

and that makes the score 93 -1.

Ladies and gentlemen, just 15 seconds left in this first half.

Heath Osby brings the ball. down the floor for the Trotters. He looks inside

he sees, well, some kind of his own defense.

I'm going to put a label on it. It's a deep freeze because they're frozen in

their tracks. He's got them mesmerized. Look at Geese. He can't believe they're

standing still. First time he's seen them clap for it, he scores.

And finally, the Trotters winning section has something to cheer about.

Why did you do that?

Oh, I don't know. I just had a moment of heart.

You might give them confidence.

Oh, yeah?

Watch this.

It's halftime, ladies and gentlemen, and just about as disastrous and lopsided a

contest as I've ever seen in my life. But as they say, it's not over until the

final buzzer.

And if I know Dewey Stevens, he's working out a strategy right now that'll

things around in the second half of this game dramatically.

We are finished!

We are through!

Say, coach, that's some pep talk. Say something good.

Those are mean dudes out there. They're built like trash cans, but they move

like jets.

Next time, let's get out there and fight. That's right. Yeah, we got to

to them. Hey, we came that up. That's easy for you guys to say. You foul out.

Okay.

Our zone defense ain't working at all.

Maybe we ought to go out there and play a man -to -man.

How can we play a man -to -man when there ain't?

Excuse the pun, but they're getting all charged up for the second half.

Professor!

Yes?

What is it, Gilligan? It's halftime, Professor.

Well, I'm still trying to understand some of the intricate circuitry in the

robots. If I can determine the programming techniques, perhaps I can

trotters how to circumvent the electronic input.

Well, it sounds good to me, Professor.

I don't know what it means, but it sounds good to me.

By the way, what's the score of the game?

Robots, 95.

Trotters, 3. Oh, dear, that doesn't sound promising.

It does if you're a robot.

There must be a way to beat them. The trotters can't keep up. Those robots

aren't human.

The problem is, these...

Robots have an extremely sophisticated memory system, and they must have been

programmed with every known basketball offense and defense.

You're right, Professor.

And the Trotters have tried them all. The only thing they haven't tried is

funny tricks and weird plays.

Eureka, Gilligan! I know exactly what you mean! Come on! What I mean! What I

mean!

That's what I mean!

You can't play normal basketball against them.

They can only do what they've been programmed to do. They can't think.

Therefore, use the element of surprise.

If the situation calls for going forward, go backwards.

If it calls for a pass, hide the ball.

If it calls for a jump, fall down.

Use your incredible magic and wizardry. I mean, you're the Harlem Globetrotters.

Go out there and do what you can do better than anybody in the world.

Now, you heard the professor.

We're going to go out there and win.

We're going to play like we know how to play.

We're going to show them some jazz, pizzazz, and razzmatazz.

the new Invincibles 95.

Twiggy's all over that referee.

Chargers, you're black.

And stupid.

Tentacle! Oh, no!

And ugly.

And round.

And Twiggy has been kicked out of the ballgame.

And all of it happens just when the Globetrotters seemed about to catch up.

But it looks like they've fallen just a little bit short.

Goodbye, Ireland.

Goodbye, world.

It looks hopeless, Gilligan. Skipper, those guys did us a favor.

wants to do them a favor.

What do you mean? We're going to play with the Globetrotters.

Oh, you call that a favor? Well, it's better than nothing. Come on, come on.

Globetrotters have only three players left, but Dewey Stevens, their cool and

unemotional coach, you'll come up with something.

The Trotters are ahead by one, but the robots have never missed a free throw.

Coach, coach, put the two of us in.

Two of who? Us, us.

Maybe I should.

Things couldn't get any worse.

Well, the Trotter coach, the fly one, Dewey Stevens. Stevens has reached into

his bag of tricks again, Neil, and he has, well, he's got not just one, but

got two substitutes. Now, they don't look much like basketball players, but

looks can be deceiving.

Now, we've got just 20 seconds left to play in the ballgame, and it's all going

to be decided right here and right now.

G -I -L -L -I -G -A -N!

G -I -L -L -I -G -A -N!

Hey, Skipper, what did they just spell?

It was Gilligan.

absolutely wild. I don't blame him. Here's the technical. That could tie it.

It's good. We're tied at 99.

And now on Jimmy Blacklock, sixth personal foul. Here's another free

That is good. And once again, the Invincibles are in front, 100 to 99.

And now the Trotters have Gilligan in for Blacklock and the skipper in for

Twiggy. They might have lost, though, their last opportunity.

The Invincibles still ahead by one point.

And unless the Globetrotters can score in these last few seconds, it's all

Referee Bruce Biggs takes a close look at the clock. They give the ball to

Gilligan. And look at this.

Basketball's flying wet.

Gilligan with the ball. Having trouble controlling it. But he's still behind

that three -man wall.

Gilligan yo -yoing up and down. Loses it on a high bounce. Curly Neal saves the

ball. And immediately, the robots put on a five -man press. Beautiful defense.

And where is Curly going to go with that ball?

Seemingly nowhere.

They've got to get a basket. Time is ticking away.

The Globetrotters in the first...

One, two, three.

Junior, you're so naive.

Naive? Yes. While this game was diverting your attention, I took the

removing all the supremium from your island and storing it on my yacht.

Now, George.

That's tons of supremium. All the supremium in the world, removed by some

excellent stevedore robots designed by Dr. Smetana.

Oh, it was nothing. She's quite a scientist, you know.

And if you'll excuse us, gentlemen, we'll be off. And soon, the entire world

will be under my domination.

Dr. Smetana, I'm surprised.

Of course you are surprised.

At what are you surprised?

Surely you must realize that Supremium is extremely unstable, particularly when

stored in large quantities above 76 degrees.

Do you have any idea what could happen in the hold of that ship?

Tell me what could happen.

could happen.

Junior, look who's here. Just in time to see you win your bet.

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, Junior, congratulations, my boy. Couldn't have done it better myself.

maybe just a little better.

Well, a howl victory is a howl victory.

I couldn't have said it any better myself, by George.

Oh, Froot, you are so good to see you, Boobie. Yeah.

Well, Lovie, I'd like a word with our guest.

There you go.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please.

I would like to thank the Globetrotters on behalf of all of us for saving our

island.

Diminish your hubbub.

Diminish your hubbub.

And to show our gratitude...

You're invited to stay here free.

Off -season, of course.

And now back to the hotel for a victory celebration.

And all the drinks are on the... Dancing in the lounge. Don't you ever do that,

Johnny.

Johnny, let's go unpack your bank books.

Oh, yes. Capital ideas.

See you later, son. Ta -ta, Daddy.

Ladies and gentlemen, I gotta get up here. I gotta get to work with Gilligan.

gotta fight through this crowd. The world is waiting to find out.

Gilligan! How did you ever accomplish that shot? I know the Globetrotters can

anything but the first full -body slam dunk in history. How'd you do it?

Practice.

Come on, everybody.

Three cheers for the Globetrotters. Ladies and gentlemen, Hip Hip Hooray!

Hip Hip Hooray!

Hip Hip Hooray!

To get away from it all To get away from it all Where Gilligan, the sniffer too

The howls and the rest Will try to make you comfortable

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