All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S14E26.The.Game.Room.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

This is an ABC
color presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

Hello.

Hi, Oz.
This is Joe.

- Oh, hi, Joe.
- Are you alone?

- Well, yeah, I'm alone.
- Good.

I want you to meet
me right away.

Well, what's up?

I can't tell you, Oz.

It's a secret, but you
gotta get right over here.

Where are you?

I can't tell you.

Now hurry up.

How am I supposed
to meet you someplace

I don't know where you are?

I was not to tell
anybody, but I'm over

at Ben's house in the garage.

OK, I'll be right there.

Good.

Make sure you're not followed
and bring your checkbook.

What's going on over
there, a floating crap game?

Now come on.

OK.

Joe?
Ben?

Oh, hi, Oz.

Come on in.

What's going on?
Where's Ben?

Oh, he's in the house
packing some stuff.

They're moving, you know.

Yeah.
What's that got to do with us?

Well, I just wanted you
to see this pool table.

Isn't it a beauty?

Well, yeah, it's very nice.

But what's the big secret?

Well, if nobody else
finds out about it,

I think we can steal it?

Steal it?

Well, no, no, I don't mean
steal it like putting it

under your coat.

Ben isn't going to take
it with him when he moves,

so it's up for sale for
practically nothing.

Sure is a beauty.

Yeah, it's in good shape, too.

Be a shame to let somebody else
grab it when you could buy it.

Me?

If you like it, why
don't you buy it?

I would in a minute,
but you know our house.

We just don't have
enough room for it.

Well, neither do we.

Sure you do.

You have the boys'
whole bedroom.

Well, we couldn't use that?

Why not?

Well, we've always kept
that just in case the kids

wanna use it sometimes.

And when was the
last time they used it?

Well, Rick stayed there the
night before he got married.

Harriet's very
sentimental about it.

She wants to leave it
just the way it is.

I'm sure you could
talk her out of that.

I don't know.

Well, why don't you talk
Darby into buying it.

He likes to shoot pool.

Are you kidding?

Why should I walk clear
down to the end of the block

to play when I could just
walk across the street

to your house?

Counting on me, forget it.

Well, OK, Oz.

If you want to miss out on a
great opportunity like this,

it's up to you.

7 ball of the quarter pocket.

Now how could I miss that?

You hit it too hard.

Hit it just hard enough
to drop it in the pocket.

Well, I left it
set up for you.

OK.

I'll play a combination here.

Oh, cut it too much.

I can see why you
don't wanna have

a pool table in your house.

Be a little embarrassing
to have Harriet

see you miss all these shots.

You could have made
that shot I suppose.

Blindfolded.

Oh, that's a beautiful shot.

Line them up and kiss
the ball-- a child

could make a shot like that.

Well, if you think
you're so good, let's play.

Rack 'em up.

OK.

Oh, wait a minute, Oz.

Maybe we better not.

After all, the table
belongs to Ben,

and we don't have his
permission to play.

Well, he won't mind.

Well, you know how some guys
are about their own property.

Hey, I'll tell you.

Why don't you make out a check,
and if Ben comes in and catches

us, you can hand over
the check and tell him

you're buying the table.

Do you wanna shoot pool,
or do you wanna back out?

Let's go.

All right.

Hey.

Too easy.

That's 25.

Oh, well, go ahead, Oz.

You might as well
finish them off.

Yeah, that was a lot of fun.

Yeah, looks like you win.

Here's your dollar.

You know, you're a much better
player than I thought you were.

Oh, thank you.

You seem to have a natural
talent for this game.

You really think so?

Oh, sure.

With a little practice,
you could be great.

Well, I'd better be going.

You know, I think I will speak
to Harriet about converting

the boys' bedroom.

We could put the pool table up
there and have a lot of fun.

Attaboy, Oz.

I thought you might
be interested to know

that I had already decided to do
that before you threw the game.

Thanks very much for the dollar.

Come back here, you hustler.

Oh, there you are.

What are you doing?

Oh, I just had the broom here.

I was, you know, just
kind of sweeping.

Does it need it?

Oh, no, no, no, I just happen
to be up in the room here

kind of looking around.

Oh, yeah, a lot of wonderful
memories here, aren't there?

Oh, yeah.

I think though it seems a shame
to have a nice room like this

going to waste.

What do you mean
going to waste?

Well, I mean it
just seems a shame

not to be getting
any use out of it.

Oh, yeah, I know
what you mean.

Of course, I realize
you like to keep it

the way it is in case the
kids ever wanna use it.

Well, to tell you the truth,
I think that's pretty unlikely,

don't you?

Oh, yes, I do.

In fact, I was a little
afraid to mention it to you,

but I was just
thinking the other day

it might be nice to change the
furniture here and do something

with the room.

Well-- yeah, I think
that's a great idea.

Good.
Then why don't we do that?

I think it'd make a
perfect guestroom.

Well or a game room maybe.

Yeah, that's an idea.

Yeah.

We could put a pool--

why don't we think about it.

OK.

OK.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Oz.

How did it go?

How did what go?

About the pool table.

Did you talk to Harriet?

Shhh, not so loud.

Oh, so you chickened out, huh?

No, no, I didn't chicken out.

Well, then how come
you're whispering?

, Well I talked to her, and
she agrees to do something

about the bedroom.
Great.

Let's go get the pool table.

No, no.

I thought you said it was OK.

Well, yeah, she agrees to do
something about the bedroom,

but I haven't exactly spoken to
her about the pool table yet.

Well, why not?

If we wait any longer,
it might be gone.

Well, those are the
chances we'll have to take.

Gotta use a little
finesse, you know.

Can't just walk in and
say to your wife let's

change the children's
bedroom into a pool hall.

OK.

Hey, I've got an idea.

Why don't you pull
a Doc Williams.

Doc Williams?
What's that?

Well, remember the time you
wanted to buy that sports car

and he was afraid his wife
wouldn't go for the idea?

Oh.
Yeah, I think so.

Well, he just went down
and got it and drove it home.

What could she say?

Well, as I recall
among other things

she said to take it back.

Yeah, I suppose she did.

But look at it this way.

At least he had the fun
of driving it both ways.

Yeah, but you can't
drive a pool table.

You gotta carry it.

Oh, but it's such
a beautiful table.

I'm sure she'd love
it if she saw it.

You really think so?

Oh, sure.

Why don't you just
put it up in the room

and surprise her with it?

You're be pretty daring
with my marriage, aren't you?

How about it?

I'll have to think it over.

Hey, I told you
you were chicken.

That's right.

I'm a happily married chicken,
and I'd like to stay that way.

Hi.

Oh, hi, Clara.

Come on in.

How are you this morning?

Fine.

- You good for a cup of coffee?
- Sure.

I'll get it for you.
No, don't bother.

I'll get it.
What are you drawing?

It's a layout of
the boys' old room.

Ozzie and I have been
thinking about redoing it.

Oh, that's a wonderful idea.

Make a perfect sewing room.

Well, yeah, but I saw
it more as a guestroom,

and Ozzie seemed to go
along with the idea.

Oh, yeah, that sounds good.

Can I help you decorate it?
Sure.

Wonderful.

I love spending
other people's money.

You know, I've been thinking.

I'd love to get back
to antiques again.

You remember that beautiful
old bed we saw downtown.

Oh, I sure do.

But if you got that, you'd
have to redo the whole room.

Yeah, good thinking, huh.

Oh, beautiful.

And Ozzie really went
along with this whole idea?

Well, he agreed that we ought
to do something about the room.

Well, that's close enough.

When do you wanna get started?

Right now.

Let's go.

Harriet.

Harriet.

OK, fellas.

Easy does it.

Boy, that'll teach
me to answer the phone

at the fraternity house.

Yeah.

Oh, this thing weighs a ton.

Keep going, fellas.

Lose your momentum.

Well, won't Mrs.
Nelson be surprised

when she sees this upstairs.

Gonna be surprised to
see it up there myself.

Just hold a second,
will you, fellas.

We gotta get the beds
out of here first.

Well, what the heck is this?

Hey, I don't know.

Was this your bed, David?

Not that I remember.

Well, I never
seen this before.

Maybe you've
taken in a boarder.

It was probably Harriet.

She said something about
turning this into a guestroom.

A guestroom?

I thought this was going
to be our game room.

- Well, that was my idea.
- It was not.

It was my idea.

Well, OK, I mean,
it was your idea.

Well, obviously it
wasn't mom's idea.

What do we do with this?

Well, we throw it out
and move in the pool table.

Yeah.

That's easy for you to say
you can go home and be safe.

Well, what are you gonna
be, a man or a mouse?

According to
you, I'm a chicken.

The important thing right
now is to hide the pool table.

If mom comes up
here and finds it,

you're a dead duck or a
chicken or whatever you are.

That's right.

Well, what are we gonna
do with the pool table?

We gotta hide it someplace.

OK, let's go.

What are you doing?

I'm just testing this.

Harriet should happen
to find the pool table,

I may be spending
the night here.

What do you think?

I don't think it
looks too bad at all.

In fact, it's a darn
nice looking bed.

Yeah, I think so.

Well, it's safe and
sound up in the attic, pop.

- Oh, good.
- You get it all covered up?

Yes, sir.

Hey, when's mom coming back?

- I really don't know.
- Well, come on.

Let's play a little pool.

We sure have earned it.

Don't you think that
might be a little dangerous?

Oh come on, Oz.

Be a sport this may be my
last chance to play pool here.

- I'm getting out of here.
- What the heck.

I'll play.
I don't live here anyway.

OK, somebody rack 'em up.

Oh, might as well join you.

I really don't think
it's a good idea--

Harriet's liable to
come along any minute.

Holy smokes, here she is now!

Well, I'll be seeing you, Oz.

No.

Come back here, you cowards!

Help me put this
stuff together again.

Well, OK, but we
gotta make it quick.

Hey!

Heck is this?

Ozzie!

Ozzie, are you home?

Am I here?

Of course, you're here.

Yes, he's here, Harriet.

Is that you, Joe?

Oh my gosh, Clara's
coming up, too.

Just relax and act natural.

Joe!

What's the matter?

Put it away.

Are you up here?

Yes.

We're right up in
the boys' bedroom.

What's that?

It's the ball returning.

- Hi.
- Hi.

I see you've seen the bed.
Were you surprised?

Oh, yes.

We sure were.

Well, we'll see you later.

Nice to see you.

I better be going, too.

Clara's probably home by now.

No, I'm right here.

Oh, well, what
are you doing here?

Come on.
Let's go home.

Oh, no, Harriet asked us
to stay and have dinner.

Oh, good.

Let's go down and eat.

Wait a minute.

You didn't say
anything about the bed.

Oh, well, it's very nice.

Oh, good.

I'm glad you like it.

Oh, and it's so soft.

What's the matter with you.

We don't want
you to mess it up.

- That's right.
- I don't think you like it.

Well, yes, I do.

Well, you don't seem
very excited about it.

Oh, yeah, it's--
it's beautiful.

It's just that we're
hungry, aren't we?

Not me.

Oh, yes, you are.

Oh, yes, I'm hungry.

Yeah, see, you're hungry.

OK, I'll go down and
get dinner started.

You know, somehow
that bed looks

longer than it did before.

Of course, Clara.

You don't have
your high heels on.

Oh, that's right.

I forgot.

Maybe I ought to
figure out a way

to tell her about it at dinner.

Oh, sure, if you can
get a word in while

they're talking about lace
curtains, antique tables,

and new wallpaper.

Maybe I ought to
just tell the truth.

That's a fine
defeatist attitude.

Sounds like you've given up.

Well, do you have
a better suggestion?

Well, sure.

Instead of trying to talk
her out of the guestroom,

let's get her interested
in playing pool.

Oh, just like that.

Well, now wait a minute.

The women are starting
to play pool these days.

They've got these family pool
rooms all over the place.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

Sure I am.

I understand there's a
beautiful one just opened up

last week around the
corner from the Emporium.

Well, OK, we'll take the girls
down there right after dinner.

Who knows?

They may really get interested.

Well, come on before
you chicken out.

Oh.

Now I'm a chicken again.

We just got a very
interesting idea.

Oh, hold everything, Harriet.

They're gonna take
us out to dinner.

No, no, that's--

I think it's a wonderful idea.

Sure, Oz, why not?

Why not?

Well, you know, a
nice dinner, everybody's

happy and agreeable afterwards.

But then we wanna take
you someplace after dinner.

That's right someplace
very interesting.

Are you sure you're
not up to something?

Of course not.

Well, they have dancing in
the Moonlight Room, you know.

Well, that's-- that's not
exactly what we had in mind.

Well, just exactly what
did you have in mind?

Well, we thought maybe
you'd like to go down

to a billiard academy.

A what?

A pool hall.

All that cigar
smoke and gangsters?

No, no, no, there's
no cigar smoke.

It's a nice family place.

Joe's been there.

No, I haven't been there.

I've just heard about it.

He's heard about see.

They're springing
up all over town.

Everybody's playing
pool these days.

It's really catching on.

Wait 'til you see.

You'll really enjoy it.

I doubt it.

What do you think?

Well, I don't suppose
we could have dinner out

and just forget the pool hall.

No, it's-- it's
a package deal.

See, what'd I tell you?

No smelly cigar smoke, no
suspicious looking characters,

just a nice friendly atmosphere.

Thought you said this
was a family place.

Well, it is.

Pretty swinging
family if you ask me.

Good evening.

Oh, good evening.

Would you like a table?

No, we've eaten.

Clara, she means a pool table.

Yes, we would please.

Well, I think number
nine is available.

Louise.

- Good evening.
- Good evening.

Number nine please.

Right this way.

What kind of a
pool hall is this?

I don't know.
I'm as surprised as you are.

It looks pretty good though.

There you are.

The cues are over there.

If you need anything
else, just call me.

My name is Louise.

Thank you very much.

Nice.

Very nice.

Now I can see why they
wanted to come here.

Yeah, but why did
they wanna bring us?

Honestly, girls, we just
wanted to play a little pool.

We've never been here before.

Why don't you girls go on over
and pick out a couple of cues.

Come on, Harriet.

Let's go arm ourselves.

Boy, this was a great idea.

, Yeah I kind of like it.

You kind of like it?

This is gonna make them
hate pool and us, too.

Well, now that we're here, we
might as well relax and enjoy

it.

Hey, wait a minute.

This may turn out to be
just what we're looking for.

Yeah.

But not with the wives along.

No, no, no.

Listen to me.

This is perfect.

Now when the girls get back,
just let me do all the talking.

Now let's get this over with.

No, no, no, no,
wait a second girls.

You don't need these.

There's something
I've gotta tell you.

Oz.

No, no, after all,
honesty is the best policy.

It always pays to be truthful.

Truthful about what?

Well, we brought you down
here for purely selfish reasons.

We're just hoping to get you
interested in playing pool.

Oh?

See, there was a
pool table for sale,

and I thought it might be nice
if we bought it and put it up

in the boys' room.

But I've already
bought the bed.

I didn't know you
wanted a pool table.

I know.

That's why I say it
was selfish on my part.

So just forget I
even mentioned it.

But, Oz--

No, no, no, no,
no, if Harriet wants

to make a guest room up there,
she has a perfect right to.

After all, she doesn't want
a shooting pool up there

every night.

Well, I could
send the bed back.

No, no, no, that's OK.

Any time Joe and
I wanna play pool,

we can just come down here
and play without bothering you

girls.
Yeah, that's right.

We can always come
down here and play.

Do you need any help here?

Well, yes, I was
just wondering if you

have any chart for these cues.

Oh, yes, here's
some right over here.

Let me do it for you.

Oh, well, thank you very much.

Could you help me please?

Sure.

I seem to have forgotten
how to hold the cue.

Is it like that?

Oh, no.

Here let me show you.

There.

Oh.

Yeah.

It's all coming
back to me now.

Well, thank you very much.

Any time.

Go ahead.

I'll give you all
you get on the break.

Hey, where are the girls?

I don't know.

Oh, well.

Oh, hi.
Dave.

Hi, pop.

I hear mom gave in let's
keep the pool table.

That's right.

She put up much of a fight?

No, she was very
reasonable about it.

Well, play a little game?

Not right now, thanks.

Gee, for a guy who just
got a nice pool table,

you don't seem very
happy about it.

Oh, I'm happy.

Oh, sure you are.

What's a matter, pop?

Harriet!

What's this?

It's your mother's
bridge club.

I understand they meet here
every afternoon between 3:00

and 6:00 and on Tuesday
and Thursday evenings.

You're kidding.

I wish I was.

Four ball in
the center pocket.

Harriet, oh, a beautiful shot.

Getting better
all the time, huh.

Oh, Harriet.

I'll trying for the hook.

Oh!

Yeah.

My wife the pool shark.

Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

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