Original subtitles

This is an ABC color presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode, here's Kris.

- Well, hi. - Hi.

You're just in time. Would you like some coffee?

- I would. - Yeah, me too.

I'll get it. No, you sit down.

You look tired.

Well, to be honest with you, I am tired.

- You guys up late last night? - Yeah.

We went to a place called The Hangout with Dave and June.

It's a little joint over on Madison.

It's a lot of fun, though, if you

like small rooms, loud music, and a lot of exercise.

You and Mom ought to go over there some night.

I bet you'd really like it.

Oh, I just can't keep up with these dances.

It took me two years to learn how to do the Twist.

And by then, it was out of style.

I think it sounds like fun.

Besides, you don't have to dance.

You can sit there and watch the kids.

I can sit home and watch them on television.

Look, so far this winter, I've been

to four basketball games, two hockey games, and a prize

fight.

The least you can do is take me out dancing one night.

OK.

You make the reservations, and we'll go.

The only thing, though-- don't tell the Randolphs.

I'd never hear the end of it from Joe.

Oh, the Randolphs are going with us.

Well, I saw him at the golf club,

and he didn't say anything about it to me.

Oh, he doesn't know about it yet.

Now, wait a second.

What do you mean, they're going with us?

Well, Clara and I just made the reservations

this afternoon.

We're going tonight.

Oh, isn't it fun?

Oh, I think it's great.

I have an idea.

Why don't we sit this one out, and then when the next number

starts, we go home.

I'm with you guys.

We're with a couple of dead ones.

You know that, don't you, Harriet?

Yes. And aren't you glad?

Oh, there's a waitress.

Oh, miss?

Yes, sir?

Oh!

I-- I'm sorry.

I was looking at you from an angle.

Could we have something to drink here,

maybe some fruit punch of some sort?

How about a Shirley Temple?

What's that?

Different fruit juices mixed together.

It's very nice.

OK.

Fine.

Shirley Temples all around, please.

OK.

I must admit this music kind of gets to you.

It's loud enough.

I don't think that dance they're doing is too difficult.

Careful, daddy-o.

You're having a spasm of some sort.

You sure you're feeling all right?

What are you talking you about?

I'm doing the same thing they're doing.

You're doing the shimmy.

You look like Gilda Gray in the Ziegfeld Follies of 1919.

You're just jealous.

Come on, Clara.

Let's give it a try.

I don't know how to dance like that.

Aw, come on.

Be a sport. Good luck.

I'll need it.

- Come on, Oz. - No, you go ahead.

Three's a crowd.

Hey, look at Joe and Clara.

Looks like he's on a pogo stick.

Did you see that?

I saw it.

I tried to make believe I didn't, but I saw it.

I thought it was great.

I'm exhausted, but it's fun!

Sure it was. Come on, Oz.

Give it a try. It's easy.

You can do it.

Are you kidding?

- How about you, Harriet? - Oh, I don't think so.

Thanks, Joe. Oh, come on, Harriet.

Please, Harriet, dear.

Go with him If you don't, I'll have to, and I'm tired.

- Well-- - Now you're talking.

You're a better sport than old Grandpa here.

- You mind? - No.

You don't have any choice.

Oh, boy.

Here's one.

Oh, haven't you had enough?

I'm tired. Come on, Clara.

Now that I've got it, I don't want to lose it.

Don't you think we ought to get going?

Just one more.

Want some more hot chocolate?

No, thank you.

Aren't you being a little obvious?

Apparently, not obvious enough.

You realize what time it is?

I've heard the national anthem three times.

I know.

He keeps finding another one.

Oh, man.

He's been doing that same ridiculous whatever

it is all night long, the Joe Randolph Wiggle Walk.

Oh, good.

That does it.

Hey, what's that?

That's the Mexican national anthem.

Oh, is that what's on this thing?

Will you please turn that off?

We have to go home.

Oh.

Well, I'm tired.

We're all tired. Look at Ozzie.

He wants to go to bed.

Well, you go ahead and turn in, Oz.

I'll stay up and dance with the girls.

Oh, no you don't.

Well, I suppose I'd feel left out, too, if I couldn't get

the hang of these new dances.

Are you kidding?

I suppose you think that ridiculous thing you were doing

was a dance.

Well, don't get mad at me just because you've

got two left feet.

Oh, boy.

Come on now, fellows, break it up.

It's getting late. Yeah, come on, twinkle toes.

Let's go. Good night, Harriet.

Take care of old Grandpa.

Don't let him catch cold.

I hope you can get out of bed in the morning.

Night.

Night, Clara.

Goodnight.

I can't understand Oz.

He's just no fun anymore.

He acts like an old man.

Oh, Joe.

Boy, if there's anything more ridiculous than a middle-aged

man trying act like a teenager.

What's the matter with Joe lately?

Must be in his second childhood.

Oh, my gosh. That was very good.

What was it?

Well, I think it was a Suzy Q with a little truck 'em thrown

in. What's that?

A couple of prehistoric dances.

Well, you can't blame a guy for trying.

Oh, we were only kidding. You looked great.

Yeah, you really did.

Oh, thanks.

But it's pretty ridiculous.

I just thought I could make something up

to get even with that Joe Randolph.

He's such a showoff.

Yeah, Mom told me he put on quite a performance last night.

Yeah, well, a spectacle is more like it.

Oh, who am I kidding? I couldn't do any better.

I don't know why you say that. You've got the rhythm.

All you need is somebody to show you how.

Hey, where'd you get these?

Oh, I bought them down at the record shop.

Say, I'll bet Kris could teach you.

Sure, I could.

Why don't you put it on again?

OK.

What are you doing?

It's no use.

I ever tried that, I'd fall apart.

The piece would have to fly off in all directions.

I could kill somebody.

It's not as hard as it looks, honest.

At least you could try.

It's ridiculous.

Even if I did learn how, I'd look silly.

Besides. What am I trying to prove?

That I can show up Joe Randolph?

Hello?

Hello, Doc?

Is that you?

Doc?

Is this Joe?

Oh, sorry, Oz.

I started out to dial Doc Williams.

Oh.

Well, that's OK.

I've done that myself.

I just thought he and Shirley might like to go down to that

rock-and-roll joint tonight.

I'm trying to get a little swinging group together.

Sorry about the wrong number.

I didn't wake you up, did I?

Wake me up?

Well, I didn't know.

I thought you might be taking a nap or something.

Oh, that's very funny.

Besides, you know darn well Doc's out of town this week.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

Say, I wonder what Dave and Rick are doing tonight.

Oh, well. Never mind.

I can go some other time.

So long, old timer.

Sure.

Could you show me that once again, please?

Hey, that's very good.

Isn't he great?

Yeah.

Well, this is better than that Joe Randolph wiggle waggle.

I hope it is. Well, of course it is.

I don't know what you were doing, but it looked great.

He made it up. Oh, I better get going.

Rick will be wondering what happened to me.

Well, why don't you give him a call?

You guys can have dinner with us.

We've got plenty. Oh, no, thanks.

We're having a little party tonight.

Just a few of the kids from the fraternity.

Oh, that sounds nice.

Well, thanks for the Arthur Murray treatment.

Oh, that's OK. I enjoyed it.

Just give me a ring when you're ready for your second lesson.

OK.

Let me know when Mom gives you the night off.

We'll sneak over to The Hangout, just you and I.

That's a date. We'll show 'em.

- Bye. - Bye-bye.

Thanks again.

She's quite a girl. Oh, she sure is.

She's a good teacher, too.

You looked great in there.

Yeah.

Oh, Harriet?

Why don't we invite them over later?

Well, Kris said they were having a party.

No, no. I mean Joe and Clara.

He's such a wiseguy about his dancing.

I'd like to show him I can dance a little too.

I thought you said they were going out.

Oh, no, no. He was just putting me on.

I guarantee they can make it.

It's fine with me.

And don't tell him anything about my dancing.

Let him put on a couple of records

and get up and start to make a fool of himself,

and then you and I will really surprise him.

Wait a second.

You say you and I'll surprise him?

Yeah.

I need a partner.

No, no wait a minute.

What about dinner? You fix dinner.

I got to go practice.

How about some more cake?

Oh, no, thanks.

- Not for me, thanks. - It's great, though.

Oh, come on. Just one more piece.

Oh, no. Really.

Thank you, Harriet.

I can hardly move as it is.

As a matter of fact, he could hardly move this morning.

He was stiff as a board from all that monkey watusi

or whatever it was he was doing last night.

What are you talking about?

I feel great.

Come on, Oz.

Let's put on a little music.

Oh, I thought we might play some bridge for a change.

Bridge?

That's for old ladies.

What?

You know what I mean.

I feel like dancing.

Well, I don't feel like spending the night packing you

in hot water bottles. What's this?

Never mind. Come on, Oz.

Just because you can't dance doesn't

mean that we have to sit around like bumps on a log.

Well--

How about it?

Well, OK.

Attaboy, Oz.

Now, you just watch me.

It's all in the elbows.

It's a good one.

Sounds like one of the tunes we were dancing to last night.

It's possible.

I'll get it.

You expecting anybody?

Not that I know of.

Well, Mrs. Peabody.

Won't you come in?

Thank you.

I don't believe you've met my husband.

- How do you do, Mr. Peabody? - How do you do?

I hope we're not interrupting anything.

Oh, no, no. Not at all.

Mr. and Mrs. Randolph, my husband, Mr. and Mrs. Peabody.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Nice to meet you.

Won't you sit down?

Yeah, I'll just move these.

Sit right down here.

Thank you.

Well, I'll tell you why I stopped by.

As you may have heard, I'm on the music appreciation

committee for the Civic League.

And we're sponsoring a series of concerts in conjunction

with the Better Music Bureau.

And the mayor, of course, has been just wonderful.

In fact, he's designated next week as Better Music Week.

And we're going to kick off the proceedings,

so to speak, with a piano recital next Friday evening.

Well, isn't that nice?

A-- a piano recital?

Yes, by Hugo Clapperman.

I'm sure you've heard of him.

He's simply marvelous.

Oh, well, it seems to me I read about him someplace.

It sounds very exciting.

Were you playing some records, Mr. Nelson?

I don't want to interrupt.

Oh, well, yes, but I don't think you'd especially

care for this kind of music.

Don't be too sure.

I'm liable to surprise you.

Wait a second.

Let me guess.

Is it something you picked out?

Oh, well, yes.

It's his favorite.

I don't tell me now.

It's Mendelssohn.

I'll bet it's Mendelssohn.

It's something fluty.

With a lot of woodwinds.

No, it's nothing fluty.

Well, don't tell me it's Wagner.

Well, you're simply not the Wagner type.

Oh.

Well, actually, it's not classical at all.

Oh?

It's-- it's a semi-classic.

Really?

A Strauss waltz perhaps?

No.

But we have an album of Strauss waltzes someplace.

It's right over here.

Do you like "Tales of a Vienna Wood"?

Oh, I just love it.

Hubert and I love all the Strauss waltzes.

They're so gay and carefree.

Yes, yes.

They are, aren't they?

Here it is.

Well, I hate to eat and run, but we really

have to get going. We do?

Yes, I'm afraid so, dear.

- Well, Joe-- - Good night, Oz.

- Goodnight. - Nice to have met you.

Goodnight. Do you have to go so soon?

Oh, I'm afraid so, Harriet.

Goodnight.

Bye.

That's delightful.

Oh, that was just marvelous.

I don't know when I've had such a good time.

Oh, thank you.

But I'm afraid we really must be going.

We have several other stops to make.

Come along, Hubert.

Thank you again, Mr. Nelson.

It's been so nice meeting you.

Oh, my pleasure.

And I'll let you know about the piano recital.

Oh, that'll be fine.

I'm sure you'll enjoy it.

- Good night again. - Good night.

Good night. Nice to have met you.

Good night.

That's a fine way to waste an evening.

Well, there wasn't much else we could do.

Besides, it's only 10 o'clock.

She's real nice, but boy, she sure comes on.

She sure does.

It's a nice sneaky trick Joe and Clara played on us.

Well, you can't blame them.

Just when I had them all set up for the kill.

There'll be another time.

I'll probably forget all the steps by then.

Hello? Hi, Dad.

Oh, hi, Kris. How's the party going?

Oh, fine.

But I wonder if you could help us out.

Sure. What can I do for you?

Well, we're having a little trouble with the coffee pot.

Do you suppose we could borrow that big one of yours?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Kris wants to borrow our coffee urn.

Oh, sure.

It's out in the garage.

Yeah.

It's all yours.

Oh, thanks.

Rick will be right over to pick it up.

Wait a second.

Kris?

Yeah.

Look, there's no sense in Rick leaving the party

and driving all the way over here.

Why don't I just drop it off for you?

Oh, no, thanks, Dad.

He won't mind, really.

No, no, cut it out now.

I insist.

You just forget about it.

I'll be right over.

OK.

I don't want Rick to leave the party.

He's probably having a good time playing records and dancing.

Only one problem, though.

What's that?

How are you going to get Joe to go with you?

Why should I want Joe to go with me?

Well, so you can drag him into the party

and show off your dancing.

What ever gave you that idea?

You better hurry up.

You're going to have to drag him out of bed.

I'm on my way.

Hi, Pop.

- Hi, Rick. - Oh, thanks.

Sorry to put you through all this trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble at all.

The kids are dancing in there, huh?

Yeah, we're just fooling around, though.

Do you have time to come in and say hello?

Oh, well.

Not dressed or anything.

Neither are we.

Hi, Dad, Mr. Randolph.

Oh, hi Kris.

I brought the coffee urn. Oh, thanks.

That was sure nice of you.

Rick could've picked it up just as well.

Oh, that's OK.

I didn't want to interrupt your dancing.

Oh, come on, Oz. Let's get going.

Oh, can't you come in for a little while?

You know just about everybody here.

Well, maybe for just a little while.

You sure we're not interrupting the party?

Course not. Come on in.

OK.

Look, I haven't had a chance to show Mr. Randolph that

dance you taught me.

So we'll go in there, and you ask me to dance.

And I'll turn you down, but you keep coaxing.

Finally, I'll say, well, OK.

Then we're really show him.

OK.

Hey, don't worry about that. Dad brought one over.

OK.

But I still think I can fix this thing.

It's kind of a challenge.

- Shawn, do you know Rick's dad? - Hi, Shawn.

Nice to see you. Come on in.

Join the party. Come on, Mr. Randolph.

Oh, thanks.

I think you know everybody, don't you?

Yeah. Hi, kids.

Hey, Dad, how would you like to dance?

- Oh, no, thanks. - Come on.

No, really.

That kind of dancing is for young kids.

You're wasting your time, Kris.

He's still working on the Big Apple.

Besides, he's got two left feet.

Well, as long as you put it that way, OK, I will dance.

Hey, everybody. I got it fixed.

Hot coffee coming right up.

The lights went out.

- The lights went out? - Yeah.

Can you believe it?

And by the time they got a new fuse,

the kids had started a game of charades or something.

Besides, the psychological moment had passed.

Oh, that's too bad.

Well, there's nothing you can do about it now.

Hey, wait a second.

Maybe there is.

What time is it?

Oh, I don't know.

About 12 o'clock, I guess.

Well, that rock-and-roll joint'll be open for a couple

of hours yet.

Look, go on upstairs and get dressed,

and I'll phone Joe and Clara to meet us over there.

You must be kidding.

You must be kidding.

Right.

We'll meet you over there in about 10 minutes.

Hey, we've got the same table.

Yeah, I phoned for reservations.

Thank you.

Are we really here?

I'm afraid so.

I was hoping I was asleep and I was having a nightmare.

Come on, Clara.

We need to dance.

Let's go.

How about it?

They're playing our song.

Oh, look at them out there.

They sure seem to be having a good time.

You know, there's one thing good about this kind

of dancing. What's that?

I'll bet we could go home and go to bed,

and they wouldn't even miss us.

I'm with you.

Let's go.

Your kind of lovin' is it's my kind of lovin'.

My kind of lovin' is your kind of lovin'.

Your kisses, they're so thrilling.

And when you hold me, you know I'm willing.

Give your love to me now.

I don't have to tell you what's on my mind.

'Cause baby, you know we're two of a kind.

You got something I want, and I want it so bad.

Come on.

Come on.

Give me all the lovin' you have.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Your kind of lovin' is my kind of lovin'.

My kind of lovin' is your kind of lovin'.

Your kisses, they're so thrilling.

And when you hold me, you know I'm willing.

Give your love to me now.

Girl, it's time that you stop shying away.

Yeah.

Stop listening to what the others all say.

Yeah.

Girl, you're out of sight.

Girl, you're out of sight.

We'll do it up right.

We'll do it up right.

Let me hold you tight.

Let me hold tight.

Tonight's the night.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Your kind of lovin' is my kind of lovin'.

My kind of lovin' is your kind of lovin'.

I need your lovin', baby.

So bad.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Clear, the self-polishing floor wax that

dries clear as glass, never yellows.