All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S14E19.Hong.Kong.Suit.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

This is an ABC
color presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's Kris.

Rick, would you get that?

OK.

Oh, hi Wally.
Come on in.

Oh, thanks.
Hi Kris.

Hi Wally.

You're just in time for dinner.

Oh really?

Well, now, who
are you kidding?

I know.

You're having a nice
little pot roast.

And it's your favorite
and you found out about it.

Yeah, a friend of mine
works down at the meat market.

He told me.

Well, come on and make
yourself comfortable.

I've got a place
all set for you.

You have?
How'd you guess?

Your friend at the
market phoned and warned me

you were on your way over.
Oh.

You feeling all right?

Oh yeah, fine, why?

Well, you just look a
little different, that's all.

Oh, it must be
my new sport coat.

How do you like it?

Oh, looks fine.

Don't you think
it's a little--

I mean, are you sure
it fits all right?

Oh, of course it does.

The only thing I have
to worry about is the--

I think you lost
a couple of buttons.

Aw, doggone it, that's
what I was afraid of.

I'll sew them on
for you after dinner.

Oh thanks, but it's no use.

I just pop them off again the
first time I laugh or sneeze.

Why don't you get a coat
to fit in the first place?

Are you kidding?
I tried.

They just don't seem
to make clothes to fit

like they did when I was a kid.

I wonder why.

You don't know why?
You know why.

And don't get familiar.

You should be able to get
a coat that fits someplace.

Are you kidding?
I tried.

If the shoulders fit, then
the waist is too tight.

And if the waist fits,
then the shoulders

hang down to my elbows.
Can't you get one to measure?

Well, they're too expensive.

I'm just about
getting by as it is.

It's pretty tough to
buy any clothes at all

when you're going to college.
I know that.

It just shows you how
much you listen to me.

About what?

I showed you that order
blank a couple of weeks ago.

What's that?

Oh, Kris got the address of
a tailor in Hong Kong where

you can get your clothes made to
order for practically nothing.

Well, that's great, but it's
a pretty long swim to Hong Kong.

They send you the stuff.

You send them your
measurements, and they send back

a suit made to order.

Got the order blank
here someplace.

Well, come on,
let's see it, huh?

He's not interested in that.
Who says I'm not?

If it's cheap, I'm interested.
Sure.

At least let me show it to him.
Yeah.

OK, but in the
meantime, I hope

you don't mind if
I go get my dinner.

Just a second.

I don't think you
ought to do that.

After all, I mean, I hate
to see you eat alone.

Why don't you leave them there?
I'll look at it after dinner.

You just pick out
your material from here

and fill in the measurements.

Of course, there's
a slight added charge

for unusual measurements.

There is.

What would a coat and
a pair of slacks cost?

Well, that depends
on the material.

But you could get
them for around $30.

$30?

Well, that sounds
pretty reasonable.

That must be just
for the slacks.

No, that's for the coat
and slacks or for a suit.

What are they made
out of, rice paper?

No, they're all
standard materials.

Here's one of worsted
and here's of mohair.

Some are more
expensive than others.

Exclusive tailors
for ladies and gents.

Fong Fu's.

Getting interested, huh?

Well, I must admit, a
sport coat and slacks for $30

sounds pretty good.

In fact, it sounds impossible.

Hey, listen, it might
even be less than that.

We could get them for nothing.

If you want to go to jail.

No, no, listen.

For every 10 suits
sold, you get one flee.

One flee?

That's what it says.

F-L-E-E.

Who needs 10 suits?

The guys at the fraternity.

All I'd need is
nine more orders.

Nine?
I thought you just said 10.

Well, yeah, 10
including yours.

You could use a new
suit, couldn't you?

Wait a minute.

Why should you
get the free suit?

I was the one who let
you in on the deal?

Who did?

Well, OK, we did.

OK, I'll tell you what.

We'll get 20 orders and then
we'll each get a free suit.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Then you two could
become partners.

Sure, Nelson and Plumstead,
suits made to order.

Put her there, partner.

Wait a second.

If I'm your partner, then I'm
responsible for your debts.

Let's just call this a
friendly business arrangement.

I'll settle for that.

He's a very cautious fellow,
this husband of yours.

Well, his brother's a lawyer.

It's probably your dad.

He was going to stop by
to borrow a card table.

Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I think I am.

- Hi, Kris.
- Hi, Dad.

Come on in.
I'll get the card table for you.

- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, hi Mr. Nelson.

- Hi fellas.
- Here, let me take your coat.

- I can't stay.
- Oh, that's all right.

I got it.

What the heck are you doing?

Let's see.

Waist 46.

Wait a minute.

Waist 34.

No, no, hold it.

Try that again.

Waist 31.

No, I really don't
think so, Rick.

Me either.
I'll see you guys later.

I got a class.
Just a second.

Show him the blue serge.
Blue serge?

They haven't worn that since
my father was in college.

It's coming back in style.

This tweed doesn't
look too bad.

Good.

We'll put you down
for a tweed coat.

Now we'll get you
some slacks to match.

How about a nice
cashmere coat for Shawn?

Cashmere?

What do you think I
am, a millionaire?

Burlap is more my style.

Not at these prices.
You want the best, don't you?

- No.
- Sure you do.

You can afford it.
Look at these prices.

They're ridiculous.
Let me get some measurements.

Here, let me get your sweater.

What for?

What are you doing?

Oh, just getting
a little deposit.

$5 for the coat and
5 for the slacks.

- What slacks?
- To go with the coat.

Dark green slacks.

Look at me, honey, they'll
go beautiful with your eyes.

Don't overdo it.

Which would mean
that after taxes,

we would show a net
profit of about 13%.

Did you say 13?

23.

Oh.

Was there a question?

Oh, no sir.

Yes, now we have already
discussed the depreciation

factors.

We must bear in mind, however,
that our net rentals must not

exceed 50% of our
total income in order

to avoid being marked as a
personal holding company.

Oh, yes, McWhirter?

Oh, yes sir?

Go ahead.

Could you repeat
the question, please?

I say, what was your question?

Oh, too bad.

Glad to see you're
trying, though, McWhirter.

Thank you, sir.

Class dismissed.

41.

41.

52.

Thanks a lot.

Miss Edwards, would
you run off some copies

of this on the machine?
OK.

How many?
Oh, about 50.

50.
Is that his waist size?

No, 30.

Oh.

Hold still, will you, Dave?

Come on, will you?

This is a law office,
not a tailor shop.

Well, just a couple
more measurements.

You'll be all set.

How about you, Miss Edwards.

You'll be getting married
one of these days.

You may want to wear
the pants in the family.

OK, we'll put you down
for the brown sport coat

and the gray flannel slacks.

OK, fine.

Are you sure you
don't want to order

another pair of those slacks?

You'll be wearing them around
the office here quite a bit.

No thanks.

Speaking of the office, you're
supposed to be working for me,

you know, not for Fu Fong
or whatever his name is.

Oh, sure, OK.

Yeah?

Oh.

OK, tell him I'll be right out.

OK.

Well listen, Judge
Willoughby is out there.

Let's at least pretend we've
got a law office going here,

shall we?

Sure.

Chest, 42.

Chest, 42?

Did you put those measurements
down on the order forms yet?

Well, I haven't had time.

I've got a report
here that has to be

turned into marketing class
first thing tomorrow morning.

But the sooner we
send in the orders,

the sooner we get our suits.

Well, I realize that,
but you don't want me

to flunk out of school, do you?

I'll be the best
dressed dropout in town.

Why don't you just
give me the notes?

I'll copy them down.

OK.

I've got them here someplace.

Here's Fred.

I think I left the rest
of them on the desk.

Here's Charlie's.

And this is Al's.

And this is Jack's
at the malt shop.

Naturally.

You guys send
those orders in yet?

- Sorry, no refunds.
- Relax, will you?

We just want to
make a few changes.

Let's change the
color of my coat.

My brother doesn't like green
and he's paying for half of it.

OK, if we can find your order.

Well, you guys
sure are organized?

Can't you come back later?
I'm trying to get a report done.

I just want to change
the color of the coat

from brown to charcoal with side
vents instead of in the back.

OK, Rick, make a
note of that, will you?

- OK, I got it.
- Well, now, what about mine?

I want to change the color of
my coat from green to plaid.

You know, that brownish
plaid you showed me.

Well, I'll change it as
soon as I find your order.

Hey, that's part of my report.

Oh, yeah, sorry.
Plaid.

I'll remember.
I hope so.

Let me have that.

I don't want it to get wrecked
before I even hand it in.

Oh, I'll get that.

What is this, Grand
Central Station?

Hey, you guys, I want my
money back for those clothes.

Sorry, no refunds.

Well, if you don't
have the money,

you better be out of town before
the other guys hear about it.

- Hear about what?
- The Dean wants to see you.

Something about a regulation
against selling on campus

without written permission.

He's over at the
house right now.

He sent me over to get you.

Well, don't look at me.

I didn't know about it.

Well, I forgot about it.

OK, OK, I just didn't think
it was worth mentioning.

What are we going to do now?

Don't tell me all this
has been for nothing.

- I want my money back.
- Me too.

- And right now.
- Now, just relax.

You'll get your money.

It's as safe as if
it were in a bank.

It is, isn't it?

Of course, I've
got it right here.

Now, now, fellas, fellas.

Now, wait a second.

At least give us a chance
to go and talk to the Dean.

Maybe we can straighten it out.
Well, OK.

For God's sakes, you act
like you don't trust us.

Well, now that you mention it.

We have certain rules and
regulations at the university

and they have been adopted for
the protection of the students.

We don't want
unsuspecting freshmen

buying phony oil stocks or
campus uranium rights or seats

at the college library.

Yes, sir, we understand.

We wouldn't think of taking
advantage of anybody, sir.

You should see the
prices of these suits.

Actually, we're doing
the guys a big favor.

Well, that's not the point.

This is a rule that
was made to protect

the interests of the students,
and it's my duty to enforce it.

What is the price of the suits?

$30 and $35, sir.

$30 and $35?

Well, I must admit,
that's quite reasonable.

However, we do have a rule here.

Excuse me, sir, but this
would be quite a disappointment

to the students who have ordered
their suits in good faith.

Well, you men should
have thought of that

before you started this.

How many orders do you have?

Oh, we're just one short.

That is, we have 19, sir.

I see.

Well, I'm sorry,
but rules are rules.

And do you have
any English tweeds?

Yes sir, beautiful tweeds.

Just take a look at these.
Wally.

Oh, now now, Rick.

If the Dean wants a tweed,
we can give him a tweed.

Although a cashmere
would be very becoming.

Cashmere?

Yes sir, and very
reasonable too.

If I might suggest sir,
a brown cashmere coat

and these dark gray flannel
slacks would go well together.

Wow, I didn't realize you
had such broad shoulders, sir.

- Thank you.
- Yes, sir.

You probably wouldn't
want much padding.

I'll bet you do push ups too
every morning, don't you, sir?

Look, Plumstead,
you've made the sale.

Now, let's not overplay it.

I am probably one
of the few people

you've ever met who is both thin
and flabby at the same time.

My wife beat me in an Indian
hand wrestle the other night.

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Relax, will you?

Everything's fine.

The order was just sent
in a couple of days ago.

We'll let you know
when they get here.

No, I don't know how long.

It may be a few days.

They're coming all the
way from China, you know.

OK.

So long.

Another call about
the suits, huh?

Yeah, boy, those
guys sure are nervous.

Let's see.

Who hasn't called yet?

Hello?

Oh, hi Don.

Look, will you stop
worrying about it?

Everything's fine.

Where'd you hear that?

No, I'm sure I would
have heard about it.

Now stop worrying, OK?

So long.

What is it now?

Oh, he heard there
was a typhoon heading

north from the Philippines.

He wanted to know if the
clothes were insured.

What next?

Next we get an
unlisted number.

That might not be a bad idea.

I'll sure be glad
when this is over.

Rick.

Hi Wally, come on in.

- Oh, thanks.
- What are you doing?

I just want to make sure
I'm not being followed.

Look, if this is some
gag to raid the icebox,

just turn on the lights
and help yourself.

No, this is serious.

How can you think of my
stomach at a time like this?

You know that report I
did for marketing class?

Yeah.

Well, I mailed it to
Hong Kong by mistake.

Hong Kong?

Yeah, to the tailor.

You mean you got it mixed in
with the orders for the suits?

Well, no, not exactly.

I turned those in to
Professor Higgins.

The orders for the suits?

Yeah, I got a B+ on them too.

I told you he never
reads those reports.

Oh, that's all right.

We can still mail the orders in.

They'll be a little
late, that's all.

It's not quite
as simple as that.

What do you mean?

Well, I didn't do
everything wrong.

I may have turned the suit
orders in to the professor,

but I sent the money to
the right place, Hong Kong.

Along with your
marketing report?

I'm afraid so.

Well, you had a return
address on it, didn't you?

I wish you hadn't
asked me that.

You mean you didn't?

Unfortunately not.

In other words,
Fong Fu Incorporated

are going to get
a bundle of money

and they won't even
know where it came from.

- Shh, not so loud.
- What do you mean not so loud?

What do we tell the
guys at the fraternity?

What about Dean Hopkins
and Judge Willoughby

and your father?
Shh, not so loud.

What time is it now?

I think it's about 1:30.

Well, it's way
past my bedtime.

Me too.

I still think you could
just mail the orders to him.

That'd take too long.

He might not be able to connect
the money with the orders.

You know what I'm afraid of?

Those Chinese love to gamble.

For all we know, he may have
lost a whole boodle on Mahjong

by now.

You're not going to
do any good sitting

around talking about it.

If you're going to
phone him, go ahead.

OK.

I'm just trying to
figure out what to say.

Well, here goes.

Make it short.

Hello, operator.

I'd like to place a long
distance call to Fong Fu

Tailors in Hong Kong.

That's in China.

Hello, my name is Rick Nelson.

I'm calling from
the United States.

Is there anybody there
who speaks English?

Oh yes, Fong Fu speaking.

May I help you?
Yes, sir.

You see, we intended to
order some suits from you

and we sent an envelope
with a money order in it,

but we forgot to put the
suit orders in the envelope.

I was wondering if
you received it.

This may be
difficult to determine.

We receive a substantial volume
of mail from the United States.

Could you identify
the parcel further?

Can you identify the package?

Well, the marketing
report had my name on it.

Hello, there was a marketing
report in the envelope

and it had Wally
Plumstead on it.

No, no, I had the last
name first, Plumstead, Wally.

Just a second.

That was Plumstead Wally.

Hello?

I say the marketing
report in the envelope

had Plumstead Wally on it.

What kind of jelly?

No, not jelly.

Plumstead Wally.

Hello?

Are you still there?

Oh yes sir, but could
you tell me please

what is a Plumstead Wally?

Well, that is Wally Plumstead.

That's the name of the
guy who sent the letter.

Plumstead Wally,
Wally Plumstead.

Oh yes, Mr. Wally.

Well, anyway, the
money that was sent

should have been accompanied
by an order for 22 suits.

22?

22 suits from USA.

Listen to this.

Hey, how about that?

Do you realize what
this is costing you?

Excuse me, sir.

Sir?

I just wanted you to know
we're sending the measurements

and the suit orders by airmail.

I assure you, I will give
it my personal attention.

Oh, good.
Thanks a lot.

You're welcome.

Goodbye.

Holy smoke.

I'd better stop number one son
before he blows all that money

at the racetrack.

- Hi.
- Hi, Kris.

I don't believe it.
They finally arrived, huh?

Yeah, I can hardly
wait to see them.

Me either.
Have any trouble getting them?

Just one minor complication.

What was that?

A slight import duty of
$140 the boys forgot about.

$140?

Where'd you get it?

What do you suppose
I'm doing here?

Pop bailed us out.

Don't worry, Mr. Nelson.
We'll get it from the guys.

Well, they might not be
too happy when they find out

they owe another $7 apiece.

Well, they'll have to pay it.

No money, no suit-y.

Open the box and see
what they look like.

Hey, they look great.

Here's yours.

Let me see.

Here's yours, Rick.

Oh, thanks Pop.

- Why don't you try them on?
- Don't go away.

We'll be right back.

Have you got a
tie I can borrow?

Yeah, sure.

How do you like it?

Hey, great.

Look, it fits and
no buttons pop off.

Oh, they fit beautifully.

And the tailoring
is very nice.

Much better than I expected.

Well, that's debatable.

No.

That can't be yours, Dad.

It must be some mistake.

Well, here's my name
on the order blank

and this is the
material I ordered.

Well, it certainly
isn't your pants length.

Well, how could that be?

Ours fit perfectly.

This is great.

You put the measurements
in the wrong space.

You got his chest
measurements mixed up

with the sleeve length.

What about the pants?

I don't know.

That must be his hat size.

Well, I'm sure
sorry, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, that's OK.

I guess you'd call
these long shorts.

Imagine walking along the beach.

Yeah, especially at high tide.

Well, this has
Greg's name on it,

but it sure doesn't
have his shoulders.

You mean he goofed
up another one?

Oh boy.

This is Judge Willoughby's.

Looks like somebody
shot a couch.

Well, wait till
Dave hears about this.

I think you guys are
in for a lot of trouble.

How could you get
everything so mixed up?

Well, I was writing
them down so fast

and I was worrying about
that report I was working on.

Besides, they're not all wrong.

Yours and mine fit perfectly.

Because I was the
one who measured ours.

Besides, that makes
it look worse.

Ours are the only ones that fit.

Well, you're just going
to have to make good or give

everybody his money back.

Look, maybe we better not tell
anybody the clothes are here.

At least not until we
figure something out.

I wonder who that is.

It's probably the Better
Business Bureau or the bunco

squad.

Oh, well, it could be some
of the guys from the house.

Why do you say that?

Unfortunately, I
think I put a notice up

on the bulletin board.

You mean you asked
them to come over here?

- Well, yeah.
- Great.

We gotta get this
stuff out of sight.

Got to get your
father out of sight too.

- Hi.
- Hi, Kris.

Well, let's see the clothes.

Oh, hey, pretty nice.

Oh, thanks.

Well, if you
like a perfect fit.

Well, come on.
Let's see our stuff.

Well, now don't get excited,
but there's a slight problem.

What kind of problem?

Well, uh, you tell them.

There's an import fee
we forgot to mention.

It's about $7 apiece.

- $7?
- You never told us about that.

- I refuse to pay it.
- Me too.

Well, you've got to.

We owe it to my father.

Your father?

What's he got to do with it?

Well, I advanced the money.

Oh, I imagine you're wondering
about the suit I'm wearing.

It's, I--

I don't understand it.

I ordered charcoal gray.

Well, if the law
business goes bad, judge,

you can always become
a racetrack cow.

I suppose this could
be made into a vest.

Get a load of this.

Well, at least you don't have
to worry about any shrinkage.

May I make a suggestion?

You know, I wouldn't
be at all surprised,

Greg, if that coat that
Dean Hopkins is wearing

would fit you.

Yeah, you might be
right, Mrs. Nelson.

And I kind of like
that material too.

Well, try it on.

If it fits, you're
welcome to it.

For $25, of course.

Of course.

Hey, this is great.

You got a deal.

As soon as I can
get rid of this one.

Hey, let me try that on.

OK.

How about this
one, Dean Hopkins?

Try this one on.
Oh, thank you.

Oh, that's fine.

That'll press out.

Yes, that does fit
very nicely, doesn't it?

Mr. Nelson, those look
like they might fit me.

You're welcome to try them.

Come on into the closet.

Here's the last of the
duty money, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, thank you.

Hey, you look
pretty jazzy there.

- Jazzy?
- Oh, thanks.

You look pretty sharp yourself.

Oh, thank you.

- I hope everybody's happy.
- Are you kidding?

It worked out great.
Sure did.

- So long, fellas.
- See you later.

Boy, we sure are lucky
to get out of that one.

You're not kidding.

Yeah, I was
worried for a while,

but it worked out beautifully.

Yeah, everybody
seems to be happy.

That's all according
to how you look at it.

Oh, look at those
the two free outfits.

At least the price is right.

Let me try your coat on.
It looks like it might fit me.

No, no, this is fine.
I like it.

That's no fair.
I saw him first.

You guys have
got your own coats.

More than one
ballplayer has been

so sure he's good that he
starts missing easy catches.

It's like that
with driving a car.

The National Safety Council
says a really good driver never

takes anything for granted.

He expects the unexpected and
is prepared to react fast.

Drive as though your
life depended on it.

It does.

And so do the lives of others.

Live up to the rules.

Drive carefully and
courteously too.

For your own protection, insist
on strict law enforcement.

When traffic laws are
obeyed, deaths go down.