Original subtitles

This is an ABC color presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode, here's Chris.

- Well, hi. - Hi.

Hi, Chris. Hi, Rick.

How about a cup of coffee? Oh, no, thanks.

We just came over to borrow a few things, if it's OK.

Yeah, we're having a dance tonight,

and the theme is outer space.

We just thought you might have some stuff up in the attic

we could use.

Help yourself to anything you find up there.

- OK, thanks. - Thanks.

Harriet?

Come on, Clara, maybe they're not home.

- Of course, they're home. - Hi.

- Hi. - Well, hi.

Hi, Harriet. Hi, Oz.

- What have you got there? - Look at this.

I want to show you something.

Visit our quaint ghost town, a paradise for antique lovers.

Antique lovers?

You mean you, Joe?

Ignore him, Clara.

And here's a map of all--

I thought that was pretty funny.

ghost towns in the entire state.

Big deal.

Half the towns don't even have names.

We're not interested in names.

We're interested in antiques.

Look, here's one on the new highway.

Antiques in a ghost town?

I'll bet we can get there in about an hour and a half.

Come on, Clara.

There are a couple of antique movies on TV this afternoon.

I'll treat you to them.

Thanks a lot.

I'd rather go shopping.

Oh, that's what I figured.

This was just an excuse to go down and buy a new dress.

What else?

Do you want to borrow this and look through it?

Oh, yes, thank you. I'd like to.

Fine. We'll see you later.

- All right, good-bye. - So long, Oz.

So long.

Isn't that a little unusual, an antique shop

in a ghost town?

Well, that's what the magazine says.

Oh, how'd you make out?

Not so good.

Not unless you want to disintegrate somebody.

Well, don't you think that outer space

idea is a little difficult, particularly

at the last minute?

Why don't you try something a little easier?

Like what?

Well, like a Western dance at a ghost town.

A ghost town?

Yeah, Clara Randolph gave us this map.

It has all the ghost towns marked in it.

Hey, yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun.

We could dress up in Western costumes and everything.

Yeah, there's one just a couple

of miles off the new highway.

Come on, let's get out of here before they talk us into it.

I think it sounds like a good idea,

at least better than this. Thanks for the guns.

- You're welcome. - OK.

Bye-bye.

Are you going to play golf this afternoon?

Oh, no, I don't think so.

It's a little too crowded on a Saturday.

Oh.

What are you going to do?

Well, I thought I might drive up to the ghost town with you.

Do you mean it?

Yeah.

Jaunt's a beautiful day.

It's a nice drive, and you're a pleasant company.

Well, thank you.

Besides, it's a lot cheaper than buying you a new dress.

No, thank you.

Now I know why they call it a ghost town.

There's not a soul in sight.

Yeah.

Might as well look around, though.

Sure it's safe?

What are you afraid of?

Ghosts, maybe?

They don't come out until midnight.

At least, there's no trouble finding a place to park.

I wonder which way the town is?

Well, I have a hunch this is it.

Just think, about 75 years ago,

there were all sorts of people living around here.

Yeah, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang,

bang.

Got it, all seven of them.

Lucky you brought your seven-shooter with you.

I had a gun in each hand.

And I have a feeling we're not going

to find many antique stores open here today.

I have a feeling you're right.

This is pretty interesting.

That's probably where they brought the bags of gold dust.

Can you imagine the excitement around here

when a miner came running in, made a big strike?

Gold!

Gold up by the old mill.

Not so loud.

They'll jump your claim.

That's a pretty high balcony.

I wonder how many guys have jumped off there

on their horses and made a getaway.

That'd be quite a fall if you were shot and fell off there.

Oh, wow, they got me.

Something's got you.

That's for sure.

Get into the spirit of this.

Oh, there we are, the old saloon.

Best in town.

Can't you imagine all the brawls and gunfights

that went on in here?

I wish you'd stop talking like that.

I'm beginning to hear things.

OK, this is the marshal speaking.

Drop your guns, and come out with your hands up.

Howdy there.

Oh, hi.

I hope I didn't startle you none.

That's OK.

We thought the town was deserted.

Well, kids, except for me.

My name's Cal Morgan.

My friends used to call me Grubstake.

Oh, nice to know you.

My name is Nelson, Ozzie Nelson.

This is my wife Harriet.

How do you do?

Wait a second.

Did you say Harriet?

That's right.

Well, that's quite a coincidence, ain't it?

In what way?

Don't you know the name of this town?

No, it's just a dot on the map we saw.

How about that, just a dot on a map, a town that

has a history, this one has.

Well, what's the name of it?

It used to be called Harrietsville.

Harrietsville?

Well, I'd say, that is a coincidence.

Oh, go on.

You knew it all the time.

That's why you come up here.

No, no, we had no idea.

There was no name on the map at all.

We just drove out here to look around.

Well, I'd be glad to show you around myself.

I'll give you the grand tour.

Oh, that's very nice of you.

Well, which way do we go?

It doesn't make no difference.

No matter which way you're heading,

you're heading out of town.

You mean this is it?

This is it, this one street here.

Of course, the main attraction is the saloon over here.

Say, Harrietsville wasn't always called Harrietsville.

This used to be a silver mining town called Silver Gulch.

That figures.

In fact, the main mine shaft of the old Harriet mine

used to run right under here.

Harriet mine, huh?

That's right.

And it was named after somebody named Harriet?

Prettiest little lady ever come out to these parts.

It's quite a story goes with it, if you're interested.

Well, yeah, I guess so.

Oh, we'd love to hear about it.

Well, step inside the saloon.

Well, just a second.

Harriet, after all a saloon is no place for a lady.

Shh, don't tell anybody.

Well, it all took place about 100 years ago.

It seems there was this young lieutenant named

Dawson going to come out West.

He fell in love with a beautiful young girl named Harriet.

You don't happen to know what Harriet's last name was,

do you? No.

I never did know.

Say, you didn't ever have any relatives that come West,

did you?

Yes, there are quite a few.

In fact, there was my great grandmother's sister Harriet.

She came out here from Des Moines, Iowa.

Des Moines, Iowa, huh?

Oh, that's very interesting.

In what way?

Well, as the story goes, this particular Harriet

come from someplace in Iowa.

Is that right?

Well, anyway Harriet and this young lieutenant

were just about to get married.

Well, what does she do?

She up and runs off with some gambling man.

Well, that figures.

Actually, it wasn't as bad as it sounds.

Seems this girl's father owed a lot of money

to this gambling man, and she figured

it was the only thing she could do

to save her old man from financial ruin.

See.

OK.

Well, look, I hate to break this up,

but hadn't we better get going?

Oh, we can't leave now.

Well, there isn't very much more to the story.

It seems this young lieutenant tracked them

down to this very saloon the night

they were going to get married.

As a matter of fact, they say that the gambler

was sitting just about where you are now, Mr. Nelson.

Oh.

Well, how about that?

Well, what did the lieutenant do?

Ma'am, he shot that gambler dead right on the spot.

And don't tell me.

The hero and the girl got married,

and then he discovered gold here and named the town

after his bride.

And they lived happily ever after.

How exciting.

Well, no, that's not exactly the way it happened.

After the young lieutenant walked in and shot the gambler

in cold blood, so to speak, the town folks

took him out and strung him up.

Oh.

How did the town get named Harrietsville?

Well, the town folks felt kind of sorry for her.

So they turned the gambler's winnings over to her.

She parlayed that into buying the saloon,

married the fellow who discovered the mine,

ran for mayor, bought the election,

and named the town after herself.

How about that?

She turned out to be quite a gal after all.

I feel kind of sorry for the lieutenant, though.

Well, a lot of people did.

In fact, there's some people say that his ghost still

walks the street calling for Harriet, Harriet, Harr.

Yeah.

Well, I hate to break this up, but we really

had better get going.

Thank you very much for your interesting story.

Shame you folks have to leave so soon.

Say, why don't you join me for dinner?

I'd be glad to have you.

Well--

Why don't we?

I think it would be fun.

OK.

Now you're talking.

That's fine.

Thank you very much.

How about you, Mrs. Nelson?

No, thank you.

Oh.

Say, do you think--

I mean, do you suppose it's possible that--

no, I guess not.

What are you talking about?

Well, I was just wondering if my great Aunt Harriet really

was here.

Oh, come on.

Are you kidding?

Well, I know it sounds silly, but it could be true.

No, it could be a fact.

All I know is that there's something mighty familiar

looking about you.

You haven't been here before, have you?

No, never.

Well, the Harriet of Harrietsville

was a little before your time, wasn't she?

You said, it was about 100 years ago.

Yeah.

But it seems to me there's a painting of her somewhere

around town here.

Can't exactly remember where.

Oh, I'd love to see it.

Well, it'd be kind of hard to find it tonight.

But I imagine I can put my hands on it in the morning.

Oh, that's OK.

Don't worry about it. Well, what do you mean?

I'd love to see it.

Well, we can't wait around here until morning.

OK, if you want to, I've got a nice, little room upstairs

you can have. Oh, really?

I keep it fixed up just for emergencies.

Come on. I'll show you.

Oh, no, no.

No, really, thanks just the same.

Oh, come on.

At least we can look.

Harriet?

OK, I'll go up.

You can sit down here all alone in the chair

where the gambler was shot.

I can hear his voice now, Harriet, Harriet.

I might as well go along with you.

Oh what a charming room.

It is kind of comfy, ain't it?

Nice, it's very nice.

Come on, Harriet, we'd better get going.

Ozzie, look at this beautiful bed.

It's not too soft either.

If you folks should decide to stay,

I imagine we could find that painting in the morning.

Oh, we could go over to the old newspaper office.

Maybe we can find some old stories there

on your Great Aunt Harriet, that is if she's a relation.

Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea.

Do you think we could stay?

Oh, uh.

Do you want me to leave so you two can talk this over?

Oh, no, no, that won't be necessary.

I think we'd better get on home.

We'll stay.

Good.

I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself.

Well, OK, we'll stay on one condition.

I insist that you let me pay for the room.

Well, it does cost me a little bit to keep the place up.

But seeing as how your missus is liable to own

the town by tomorrow, I'll make you a special rate.

Oh, well, that's very nice.

$12.

$12?

That's a 10, 11, 12.

And $2 for dinner.

That's $2 apiece.

Just $1 for the lantern, oh.

Oh, and one thing more, $1 a piece for the nightshirts.

What are you reading there?

Gunfight at the Bar X. I'm on page 10,

and there have been six murders already.

Mr. Morgan, Mr. Morgan?

Just going into town.

I'll be back in the morning.

Harriet?

Harriet?

Ozzie, I heard it.

You heard what?

Harriet?

Harriet?

That was me.

I said, Harriet, Harriet.

Shh.

I hear somebody walking with spurs on.

OK, I'll go downstairs and take a look around.

Wait, I'm going with you.

Dressed like that?

You look ridiculous.

I look ridiculous?

OK, I'll put my clothes on.

Shh.

It's the stairs.

Want me to slide down the banister?

Never mind.

Do you see anything?

Not a thing.

That was a two to one.

Hey, somebody's coming.

Well, it's Rick.

Is that you, Rick?

Hi, pop. Hi, mom.

Hi.

Hey, how about this?

So this is what your folks do on weekends,

stay in a bar in a ghost town.

I don't mind telling you you gave us quite a scare.

Yeah, what are you guys doing here?

- Well, this was your idea. - Sure, don't you remember?

You suggested we come up and have a Western party.

Oh, yeah.

That's a reasonable explanation for us.

But what about you two?

Oh, we're up here collecting ghosts.

What's this?

Well, it seems this here town has quite an illustrious past.

Never mind now.

It involves a gambling man who was shot

right here in this here saloon.

And the femme fatale who caused all this gunplay was none other

than your mother's great grandmother's

sister's cousin twice removed.

Well, what have you got to say about that, ma'am?

Everybody dance.

Well, I'll raise you two.

I'll see you.

Read 'em and weeps.

Pair of 3's, and I thought he was bluffing.

Thank you, gentlemen.

You guys come all the way up here just to play poker?

Can you think of a better place?

Yeah, Mr. Nelson tells us that's

a famous chair he's sitting in.

Yeah, that's the exact spot where the gambler got shot.

Yeah, I believe in living dangerously.

But don't nobody deal me the ace of spades.

I don't think I'd like to be sitting there

with that ghost still roaming around.

Well, I'm armed.

Now deal.

Hold it, partner.

Let's deal from the top of the deck.

Smile when you say that, stranger.

Ooh, ah, ih, oh, oh, ah.

Thank you. Thank you.

What for?

They're applauding my dramatic performance.

Are you kidding?

Ricky's going to sing.

Oh.

It doesn't matter one way or another, I say.

But I'm lying.

I catch myself crying.

There are fools.

I was one.

But it's over and done.

And I'm trying, but I catch myself crying.

I catch myself wondering if you'll find somebody new.

I catch myself wondering if you're wondering

if I'll find somebody, too.

It doesn't matter one way or another, I say.

But I'm lying.

I catch myself cryin'.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

I catch myself crying.

I stopped at a roadhouse in Texas, well,

a little place called Hamburger Dance.

I heard that old jukebox start playing a tune called

"The Truck Driving Man."

The waitress then brought me some coffee.

I thanked her, but called her again.

I said, that old song sure does fit me 'cause

I am a truck-driving man.

Well, pour me another cup of coffee, for it is

the best in the land.

I put under--

Could I possibly interest you in driving back home tonight?

I'd like to sleep in our own comfortable bed.

That mattress upstairs is so lumpy.

Oh, but I want to stay and find out about my Aunt Harriet.

Remember the man said maybe he could find some pictures?

Harriet.

Yeah, my Great Aunt Harriet.

Harriet?

Oh, OK.

I climbed back aboard my old semi.

And then like a flash, I was gone.

I got them old truck wheels moving.

Now I'm on my way to San Anton.

Well, pour me another cup of coffee, for it is

the best in the land.

I put a nickel in the jukebox and played "The Truck Driving

Man," and played "The Truck Driving Man."

What's the story on breakfast this morning?

Look, I found it.

Found what?

Picture of my Aunt Harriet.

Oh, yeah, I've seen that lots of times.

Are you kidding with this?

Oh, you're just jealous because there

isn't a town named after anybody in your family.

You've never heard of Nelsonville, Texas?

No.

Well, maybe it's in Connecticut or Oklahoma.

I know you've heard of my Aunt Maine.

What did she do?

Well, she got up every morning and cooked

breakfast for her husband.

Another, Mother, not Aunt Blanche, Aunt Harriet, the one

Grandmother would never talk about when I was around.

Oh.

OK.

Bye-bye.

Are you still working on that?

I should never have let you talk me

into driving back last night.

I would have known something by now.

Well, you can't do anything about it now.

You certainly don't want to drive all the way back up there

again. Hey, that's a wonderful idea.

Come on. My big mouth.

Well, hi.

- Joe, Clara. - Hi.

Hi.

What are you guys doing up here?

We were looking for an old prospector

who was here yesterday.

- Grubstake Morgan? - Yeah.

Yeah. Did you meet him?

He just had dinner with us.

He'll be back in the morning.

Well, what are you guys doing up Here

Well, at first, we came up looking for antiques.

But wait till you hear what we found out about this town.

- Yes, I know. - Yes--

He told us yesterday,

Well, we heard about it.

I think it's the most romantic thing I've ever heard of.

Isn't it, though?

Just imagine, Clarasville .

- Clarasville? - Clarasville?

Yes.

And there's a good chance they named it

after my great grandfather's second cousin Clara.

Oh.

How much did the old guy hit you for?

Well, $13, including the continental breakfast.

How about that old geezer?

He took me for 19.

Well, I don't know what you're laughing about.

I think it's a very romantic story.

It certainly was.

Wait a second.

Did you say your name was Mary?

That's right.

Say, that's quite a coincidence.

What do you think the name of this town is?

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

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