All language subtitles for The.Adventures.of.Ozzie.and.Harriet.S14E11.The.Equestrians.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-WADU_track3_[eng]

This is an ABC
Color Presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's
episode, here's Kris.

Hi, Wally.
Come on in.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, I didn't realize I
was interrupting dinner.

Oh, you're not.

I was just having
a little snack.

Kris isn't even home yet.

Oh, that's too bad.

I mean, I just stopped in to say
hello and ask you a question.

Go ahead.

What are you eating there?

That's the question?

Well, it didn't
start out to be.

Help yourself.

Oh, well, if you insist.

Now, what was the question
you were gonna ask me?

Question?

Oh, yeah.

I was wondering, have you ever
thought of buying a horse?

A horse?
No, why.

Well, I was at this
birthday party for my nephew

the other day, and they had
rented a pony for the kids

to ride.

You know how it is
with parties nowadays.

You can't have just
ice cream and cake.

You have to have a pony.

Probably figured it'd
be more fun for the kids.

Well, yeah, but it left
me kinda high and dry.

After I finished my
ice cream and cake,

there was nothing
left for me to do.

You mean they wouldn't
let you ride the pony?

Nah.

They probably figured
I was too tall.

Anyway, they
should've had a horse.

- Just for you?
- Well, yeah.

Why not?
I love to ride.

That's why I got to think it'd
sure be fun to buy a horse.

Aren't they a
little expensive?

Well, yeah.

That's why I thought maybe
you'd like to buy one.

Me?
Are you kidding?

No.
We could go in on it together.

You could buy it, and I
come over and ride it.

Of course, you
could ride it, too.

Oh, thanks a lot.

You mean you came all the
way over here to ask me that?

Could've asked me that
in school tomorrow.

And miss dinner?

OK, you can stay for
dinner, but I'm definitely not

interested in buying a horse.

I ran into an awfully good
deal at the Bedford Stables

the other day.
Forget it.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Here, let me
take one of those.

Oh, thanks.

Boy, you sure have
a lot of food here.

Do you think you'll
be able to eat at all?

Oh, I think we'll manage.

We're expecting
someone for dinner.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah, you.

Oh, well, thank you.

Where you been all afternoon?
It's late.

I was just out
buying a few things.

I keep telling you,
we're practically broke.

I don't mean expensive things.

Oh, maybe I better
leave the room.

Why don't you call me
when dinner's ready.

Oh, that's OK.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

Or is it?

Well, that depends.

On what?

If I get to the
bank on time tomorrow,

nobody will ever know.

You mean you're
overdrawn again?

No.

I was just kidding.

I really don't think so.

I'm sure I deducted the
check for the lampshade.

What lampshade?

The one I bought
for the lamp I

had to take back because I
spent too much for the shade.

- You did what?
- Maybe I had better leave.

Oh, no, you don't.

I might need a witness
in case he hits me.

Oh, he wouldn't dare hit you.

At least, not till
after we've had dinner.

And speaking of dinner--

Yeah, and speaking
of dinner, suppose

you took it out of the kitchen
so I can get something ready.

Oh, there's just
one more item.

While we're on the
subject, what was

that package that was delivered
here yesterday afternoon?

What package?

The one you hid in the closet
before I could see what it was.

Oh, that.

That was just some towels.

We got plenty of towels.

I know, but
these were on sale.

What difference
does that make?

Look, you don't go out
and buy something we don't

need just because it's on sale.

Sure I do.

Well, maybe you do, but
it doesn't make any sense.

Well, I think it does.

How else are you
gonna get bargains?

Come on.

OK, let's go.

- Let's go where?
- You said come on.

I thought you're inviting
me out to dinner.

- Out to dinner?
- Sure.

You always take me out to dinner
after we've had an argument.

We didn't have any argument.

Did we have an argument?

Oh, well, that all depends.

Is there a chance I might
get stuck with the check?

Don't be silly.
You're our guest.

Oh, well, in that case, it
might be fun for a change.

OK, I'll give you
one last chance.

If you're not out of the
kitchen by the time I count 3,

we go out to dinner.

1--
Come on.

2.
Oh, wait a minute.

I wanna go out for dinner.

See, here's the
way I used to do it.

These are the expenses
for the month.

And then, I also
kept a separate page

for general items such as
groceries, laundry, meat,

drugs.

It looks like a lot of work.

Well, it is, but
it's worthwhile.

At least you know
where your money goes.

Would you mind if I borrow
this and show it to Kris?

It might give her an
idea as how to set it up.

No, go right ahead.

Help yourself.

May I interrupt this
financial discussion

to see if anybody's
interested in some ice cream?

You talked me into it.

Harriet?

No, I wanna straighten
up a few things in the den.

What's this?

It's an old budget
book of mom's.

Oh, yeah, 1946.

I remember this.

Did she keep one every year?

No.

This was the only one.

It lasted about six months.

Six months?

Yeah, well, actually,
that's pretty good.

But what happened?

Well, it seems
they were having

this big sale at one of the
department stores in town.

I know what you mean.

We're having the same
problem at our house.

Well, I really don't think
a budget is the answer.

That's kinda like
going on a diet.

It's OK if you
can stick with it,

but they usually only
last a couple of weeks.

Oh, speaking of diets,
how about the ice cream?

OK, good.

I really shouldn't eat any.

It's not that Kris
is careless with money,

it's just that she buys
a lot of little things

we don't really need.

Well, I know
that's a subject that

has to be approached
very delicately.

I mean, wives can
be pretty touchy

when it comes to a discussion
of household finances.

I always thought husbands
and wives were supposed

to be able to talk things over.

Well, yeah,
theoretically, that's true.

But unfortunately, it doesn't
always work out that way.

What do you suggest?

Well, I suggest you
use a little strategy.

Let her think it's her idea.

Well, how do I do that?

Well, why don't you pick out
something ridiculous, something

that you don't need and tell
her you're gonna buy it.

What good will that do?

Well, that'll put
her on the defensive.

She'll start saying things
like, well, that's silly,

and we can't afford it.

And then, you reluctantly
agree that you

should both stop spending money
on things you can't afford.

That sounds just
sneaky enough to work.

Believe me, it does.

I've worked it on your
mother several times.

Or maybe she's worked it on--

anyway, I know it works.

You know, I think
I've got just the thing.

Wally came over the
other night and started

talking about buying a horse.
A horse?

That's ridiculous.

A horse?

That's ridiculous.

I thought you liked horses.

Well, I do.

So do I. I just thought
it might be fun to own one.

I don't get it.

Where did this idea come from?

Well, I don't know.

From Wally, I guess.

He said he'd like
to have a horse,

but he can't afford to buy one.

- And we can?
- Well, I don't know.

I haven't looked into it.

I'm sure we can squeeze it
out of the budget someplace.

Aren't they
terribly expensive?

No, I don't think so.

I'm not talking
about a thoroughbred.

I just mean a horse
we can ride around on.

Are you sure you're
not putting me on?

Why should I do that?

I don't know.

It just seems like
such a crazy idea.

What's crazy about it?

Lots of people have horses.

OK, who do you know
who owns a horse?

Well, that's not the point.

Besides, we don't have to
pay for it all at once.

We can buy it on time.

Well, it isn't just
the initial cost.

We'd have to board
him at a stable,

and somebody would have
to take care of him.

The feed bill alone
would probably break us.

Well, they don't eat much.

Oh, no?

You've never heard the old
expression, eat like a horse?

It's just an expression.

Now, wait a second, you
haven't already bought one.

- No, of course not.
- Oh, good.

Well, then, promise
me you won't buy one

until we talk the whole
thing over carefully.

OK, I promise.

It's the most ridiculous
thing I ever heard of.

Listen, now, we're just
gonna look around and ask

a few questions.
We're not gonna buy one.

OK.

- Good morning.
- Good morning.

Morning, ma'am.

What can I do for you?

Well, my wife and I
were talking about horses

last night, so we thought
we'd take a ride up

here and look around.

We've got some
beautiful horses.

You just wanna
take a little ride,

or you interested in buying one?

Oh, we couldn't
afford to buy one.

Just as a matter of curiosity,
suppose we owned a horse

and kept him up here.

What would the charges be?

Well, it'd cost you
about $50 a month.

- Does that include the feed?
- Of course.

That's room and board.

But if you want somebody
to exercise him regularly,

it's gonna cost you
a little bit more.

Oh, we wouldn't need that.

We'd be riding quite
a bit ourselves.

- If we buy one.
- Well, yeah.

That's what I mean.

Well, like I say, we've
got some fine horses.

If you are interested, I can
make you a real good deal.

- Do you mind if we look around?
- You go right ahead.

Make yourself at home.
Thank you.

Thanks.

- Hi, you guys.
- Hi.

Hi, Wally.
What are you doing up here?

I just came out
to buy a horse.

Say, I'll give you $40 for
that old nag, Mr. Simpson.

I don't think so, Wally.
But thanks just the same.

Do you mind if I
show him to my friend?

No, go right ahead.

Come on.

Can you buy a horse for $40?

Well, of course not.
But that's all I have.

He's a good-looking
horse, though.

Come on.
I'll introduce you.

Don't get any ideas.

OK, you convinced me.

Well, here he is.

Rick and Kris Nelson, I'd like
you to meet Jonathan Plumstead.

Plumstead?

Well, I was kind of
thinking of him as my own.

Oh, pardon me.

I wanna do a little
haggling here.

Mr. Simpson, I'll
give you $42.15.

'Fraid not, Wally.

$0.23?

Sure is a beautiful horse.

Yeah, he sure is.

Hi, boy.

We really couldn't afford him.

Oh, I know.

We'd have to buy a
saddle and a bridle.

Oh, sure.

And blankets and horse shoes.

It'd be bills from
the veterinarian.

I hate to think of what
we'd have to pay for him,

even though we probably
could buy him on time.

I mean, there'd be
monthly payments and all.

Oh, it was a ridiculous idea.

Well, it wasn't
that ridiculous.

After all, there's
some advantages.

If we did buy him, we'd
probably do a lot of riding,

and that's good exercise.

Well, yeah.

Come on.

Let's go.

Hey, you know that lampshade
I bought was ridiculous.

I think I'll return it
and get my money back.

Oh.
Well, fine.

I mean, that's up to you.

Probably be enough
for the down payment.

Down payment for what?

For Jonathan.

- Are you kidding?
- No.

You said you wanted
to buy a horse,

and the more I think about
it, I think you're right.

It's a wonderful idea.

- No, wait a second.
- Mr. Simpson.

- Kris?
- Mr. Simpson?

Kris.

What do you say, Harriet?

Come on, let's go.

Be right there.

Sure hope mom can
talk her out of it.

Well, I thought you'd
already bought the horse.

Well, we made a down
payment, but Mr. Simpson

said we could let him know
definitely this afternoon.

Well, I still don't understand
how it could have happened.

Neither do I. Kept saying
how ridiculous it was

and how we couldn't afford
it, and all of a sudden,

she was saying, let's buy it.

Well, you should have
put your foot down.

How could I?

It was my idea.

Or to be more exact,
it was your idea.

Besides, I can't very
well say anything.

She thinks she's doing me a
favor by buying the horse.

Well, yeah.

I could see how you kind
of trapped yourself.

Well, I still say
it was a good idea.

It just happened to backfire.
That's all.

It sure did.

Well, look, when we
get out to the stables,

don't say too much.

Just let your mother
and me carry the ball.

I'm sure we can
talk Kris out of it.

I hope so.

Harriet?

OK, I'm ready.

Are you kidding?

What do you
mean, am I kidding?

Come on, partner.

Let's hit the trail.

She's gonna be a big help.

Then there's the feed
bill, and the veterinarian

in case the horse gets sick.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

It all adds up.

It's a beautiful horse, though.

Well, yeah.

He sure is.

Oh, here's your mother.

Hey, that was fun.

Isn't he a wonderful horse?

Oh, yeah.

I never knew I could ride.

It was just like being
in a rocking chair.

I think he's the most
beautiful horse I've ever seen.

Oh, I'm so glad
we're gonna buy him.

It was good exercise, too.

Maybe a little too good.

Well, I'll go get some sugar.

Hey, mom, what are
you trying to do to me?

Oh, I'm sorry,
dear, but it was fun,

and he's a beautiful horse.

We were supposed to talk
her out of buying the horse,

remember?

Well, maybe we were wrong.

Maybe they should buy him.

Well, how would you like
to have me buy a horse?

I like it better this way.

Mom.

Sugar, dear.

- Oh, no, thanks.
- Well, not for you.

For the horse.

Oh.

Well, here, why
don't you feed him?

I'm really not very
interested in horses.

Why don't you
take a little ride?

Oh, no, thanks.

I haven't been on
a horse in years.

Aw, come on.

I bet you're a good rider.

No, I'm really not.

I'm not very good.
Well, you are so.

You used to ride all the
time when you were a boy.

You told me so.

Well, yeah, but-- but they
were much smaller horses.

See, actually, they
were just ponies.

It was at Coney Island.

We used to go down
there when we were kids.

They had these ponies.

Man used to lead them.

Oh, go ahead.

Take a little ride.

Yeah, come on.

You might as well, Pop.

OK, there we go.

Giddyup, boy.

Giddyup.

Giddyup.

Giddyup.

- How's dinner coming?
- Oh, fine.

It'll be ready in a minute.
Good.

I'm starved.

How was school today?

Oh, pretty good.

What'd you do today?

Well, I only had one
class this afternoon,

so I went out to the stable
and rode Jonathan for a while.

Oh, good.

Sure is a wonderful horse.

Yeah, I know.

Now, if you're gonna say
anything about the money,

don't.
I've already saved $10 today.

You saved $10?

That's what I said.
Now, go on in and sit down.

I'll bring dinner
in in a minute.

- You need any help?
- Oh, no.

That's OK.

What's this?

It's dinner.

A poached egg on toast?

That's breakfast.

I don't wanna eat
this for dinner

and have it for breakfast, too.

Don't worry, you won't.

You mean, who needs breakfast?

Right.

And that's how
you save the $10?

Well, maybe not
quite that much.

Can we afford a
little salt and pepper?

Sure.

Help yourself.

Thanks.

I suppose I can look
forward to these wholesome

meals for a while.

Until we finish
paying for the horse.

I'll make a deal with you.

Heads, we do it your way, tails,
we eat meat once in a while.

Hey, what are you doing?

It's for our horsey bank.

See how easy it
is to save money?

Haven't you finished
studying yet?

Yeah, but there's a
little extra homework

known as trying to
straighten out the budget.

How are you doing?

Well, in spite of your
economy campaign, not so good.

We might as well face it.

We can't afford a horse.

Well, as long as
we've got him anyway,

we might as well get some
enjoyment out of him.

Look, why don't we forget
the budget for once

and let's go riding tomorrow.

Both of us on the same horse?

Well, you could rent one.

Horse rental.

Rick?

He's been like that all day.

Uh, Rick?

Oh, sorry.

Would you check
this over and then

put it in the Harrison file?

Yeah, OK.

What's that?

Well, it's our budget book.

It looks like a bunch
of chicken scratches.

What do you expect?

I wrote most of it while
I was horseback riding.

You stuck with
that horse, huh?

Yeah, it sure looks like it.

Hey, you know, you could really
help me out if you wanted to.

By doing what?

By giving me a $100 raise.

Why don't I just give
you a little advice.

Be cheaper.
Are you kidding?

That's how I got into this mess,
by listening to pop's advice.

OK, that's your choice.

You can listen to
my words of wisdom

or put that chicken scratching
away and get back to work.

When you put it
that way, go ahead.

Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.

Now, what's the advice?

Well, first of all, let's
look at this thing realistic.

The horse is kinda like a new
thing to Kris, like a hobby.

As soon as the novelty wears
off, your troubles are over.

Well, that's great.

The only trouble is the budget
will never last that long.

Well, meanwhile, you
just don't sit back.

You speed up the
action a little.

Well, how do I do that.

Well, by a process
of saturation.

Turn her life into a
continuous horse opera.

You talk about nothing
but horses morning, noon,

and night.

You gotta live and
breathe horses.

Horses, horses, horses.

You've convinced me.

I'm getting sick already.

Believe me, it'll work.

Maybe you're right.

Of course, on the other
hand, I could walk right in

and tell her I'm sorry, but
I'm the head of the house

and we just can't afford the
horse, and we're gonna sell it,

and that's that.

Maybe I better try it your way.

It's safer.

Howdy, gal.

I'm home.

Well, hi.

Is that you?
Yep.

How do you like it?

Fine, I guess.

Where'd you get it?

I borrowed it from one of the
guys at the fraternity house.

I figured as long
as we have a horse,

we might as well enjoy it.

Are you gonna be all right?

Yeah, I just need a
little more practice.

You know, there's a great
movie on television tonight.

Oh, you mean that
Clark Gable movie?

We've seen it.

No, no, it's a Western.

"Gunfight at Chickawa Junction."

- Oh.
- Yeah.

I saw it a couple of months ago.

There's some great
shots of horses in it.

You can learn a lot about
riding that way, you know.

Yeah, I guess you can.

Hey, why don't we eat in front
of the television set tonight,

then we can watch both pictures.

Both pictures?

Yeah, there's another
Western comes on before it.

OK, I'll get dinner ready.

Hey!

Not bad, huh?

Little doggies gonna
get away from me.

What are you doing?

Kris, wake up.

Hmm?

What's the matter?

Get up.

It's time to get up.

Are you kidding?
It's still dark.

Yeah, I know, but I
have a surprise for you.

We're going on a breakfast ride.

I have classes this morning.

Yeah, so do I. We've
got plenty of time.

It's only 4:30.

Kris?

Come on, will ya?

I'm getting hungry.

Be right there.

Hey, why don't you try
and get a weather report?

Maybe it'll rain and
we won't have to go.

Ready?

No.

Come on, let's go.

I still think it's a shame
to wake up that poor horse.

Are you kidding?

He'll be glad to see us.

Give me a home
where the buffalo roam--

Not a bad idea.

Where the deer
and the antelope play.

Where seldom is heard
a discouraging word--

Can we drop you someplace?
My car is just down the block.

Oh, no.
That's OK.

Thanks.

Rick's picking me
up at 4 o'clock.

He's right on time.

Oh, no.

I thought he meant in the car.

You trying to
tell me something?

I sure am.

OK, I'll change.

I'll get it.

It might be somebody we know.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Hi.

What's that?

Housewarming present
for your new horse.

Gee, thanks, Dave.

It's great, isn't it?
Yeah.

Hey, we can hang it up
over the fireplace here.

Yeah.

Or you could put it in the
hall and hang your hat on it.

He never takes his off.

Let's see, where
can we put it.

Well, why don't we
wait till I can find

just the right place for it.

OK.

Well, I gotta get going.

I'll see you later.

Thanks a lot, Dave.

That's OK.

Say hello to June for us.

OK, I will.

Oh, I hope your horse
has a warm blanket.

It's kinda cold out tonight.

Oh, do you think he'll
need an extra blanket?

Well, that's up to you.

I'll see you later.

Good night.

Gee, I'd hate to
have him catch cold.

What do you think?

OK, I'll get my coat.

Do you think he's
warm enough now?

- Yeah, he seems to be.
- Good.

Then let's go home.
I'm freezing.

Oh, wait a second.
It's still early.

Suppose it should get
real cold later on.

Somebody should be here to turn
up the heat on the blanket.

Boy, wait till
my mother finds out

what we've done with
her wedding present.

What do you
think we oughta do?

Just what you've been
trying to get me to do.

Sell him.

Sell Jonathan?

Don't overplay it or
I may change my mind.

You really wanna sell him?

No, but it's the
only thing we can do.

I guess you're right.

Good night, boy.

Here you are.

And here's the money, $42.23.

And don't worry
about the balance.

I'll pay it off $5 a month,
even if it takes forever.

At that rate,
it probably will.

Well, old boy, looks
like you're all mine.

Give me a hand here,
will you, Rick?

Well, it should be
quite an experience.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I'm talking about the horse.

Well, here I go.

One if by land, two if by sea.

Well, it probably wasn't the
smartest deal we ever made,

but at least we won't have
all those expenses anymore.

I know.

I sure do hate to see him go.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Oh, Rick.

Oh, hi, Mr. Simpson.

Hi.

Any chance you're still
interested in selling

your horse?

Oh, we just sold them.
Why?

What'd you have in mind?

Well, I thought I'd like
to buy him back again.

Awful lot of people seem
to like to ride him.

Tell you what I'll do.

I'll make you a proposition.

I'll give you what you paid for
him, you and Kristin come out

any time you want to and
ride him free of charge.

Well, gee, I wish you'd
said that five minutes ago.

Yeah, we just sold him to
Walt just before you came up.

Help!

Whoa, boy!

Whoa!

Whoa, fella.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Don't go away.

I have a feeling you got a deal.

Don't just stand there.

Throw me a life raft.

Call the Coast Guard.

Tonight's, "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Blue
Bonnet margarine, the margarine

that looks, cooks, and tastes
like the high priced spread.

Everything's better
with Blue Bonnet on it.