Original subtitles

This is an ABC Color Presentation.

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode, here's Kris.

Hi, Wally. Come on in.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, I didn't realize I was interrupting dinner.

Oh, you're not.

I was just having a little snack.

Kris isn't even home yet.

Oh, that's too bad.

I mean, I just stopped in to say hello and ask you a question.

Go ahead.

What are you eating there?

That's the question?

Well, it didn't start out to be.

Help yourself.

Oh, well, if you insist.

Now, what was the question you were gonna ask me?

Question?

Oh, yeah.

I was wondering, have you ever thought of buying a horse?

A horse? No, why.

Well, I was at this birthday party for my nephew

the other day, and they had rented a pony for the kids

to ride.

You know how it is with parties nowadays.

You can't have just ice cream and cake.

You have to have a pony.

Probably figured it'd be more fun for the kids.

Well, yeah, but it left me kinda high and dry.

After I finished my ice cream and cake,

there was nothing left for me to do.

You mean they wouldn't let you ride the pony?

Nah.

They probably figured I was too tall.

Anyway, they should've had a horse.

- Just for you? - Well, yeah.

Why not? I love to ride.

That's why I got to think it'd sure be fun to buy a horse.

Aren't they a little expensive?

Well, yeah.

That's why I thought maybe you'd like to buy one.

Me? Are you kidding?

No. We could go in on it together.

You could buy it, and I come over and ride it.

Of course, you could ride it, too.

Oh, thanks a lot.

You mean you came all the way over here to ask me that?

Could've asked me that in school tomorrow.

And miss dinner?

OK, you can stay for dinner, but I'm definitely not

interested in buying a horse.

I ran into an awfully good deal at the Bedford Stables

the other day. Forget it.

- Hi. - Hi.

Here, let me take one of those.

Oh, thanks.

Boy, you sure have a lot of food here.

Do you think you'll be able to eat at all?

Oh, I think we'll manage.

We're expecting someone for dinner.

- Oh, really? - Yeah, you.

Oh, well, thank you.

Where you been all afternoon? It's late.

I was just out buying a few things.

I keep telling you, we're practically broke.

I don't mean expensive things.

Oh, maybe I better leave the room.

Why don't you call me when dinner's ready.

Oh, that's OK.

I'm sure it's not that bad.

Or is it?

Well, that depends.

On what?

If I get to the bank on time tomorrow,

nobody will ever know.

You mean you're overdrawn again?

No.

I was just kidding.

I really don't think so.

I'm sure I deducted the check for the lampshade.

What lampshade?

The one I bought for the lamp I

had to take back because I spent too much for the shade.

- You did what? - Maybe I had better leave.

Oh, no, you don't.

I might need a witness in case he hits me.

Oh, he wouldn't dare hit you.

At least, not till after we've had dinner.

And speaking of dinner--

Yeah, and speaking of dinner, suppose

you took it out of the kitchen so I can get something ready.

Oh, there's just one more item.

While we're on the subject, what was

that package that was delivered here yesterday afternoon?

What package?

The one you hid in the closet before I could see what it was.

Oh, that.

That was just some towels.

We got plenty of towels.

I know, but these were on sale.

What difference does that make?

Look, you don't go out and buy something we don't

need just because it's on sale.

Sure I do.

Well, maybe you do, but it doesn't make any sense.

Well, I think it does.

How else are you gonna get bargains?

Come on.

OK, let's go.

- Let's go where? - You said come on.

I thought you're inviting me out to dinner.

- Out to dinner? - Sure.

You always take me out to dinner after we've had an argument.

We didn't have any argument.

Did we have an argument?

Oh, well, that all depends.

Is there a chance I might get stuck with the check?

Don't be silly. You're our guest.

Oh, well, in that case, it might be fun for a change.

OK, I'll give you one last chance.

If you're not out of the kitchen by the time I count 3,

we go out to dinner.

1-- Come on.

2. Oh, wait a minute.

I wanna go out for dinner.

See, here's the way I used to do it.

These are the expenses for the month.

And then, I also kept a separate page

for general items such as groceries, laundry, meat,

drugs.

It looks like a lot of work.

Well, it is, but it's worthwhile.

At least you know where your money goes.

Would you mind if I borrow this and show it to Kris?

It might give her an idea as how to set it up.

No, go right ahead.

Help yourself.

May I interrupt this financial discussion

to see if anybody's interested in some ice cream?

You talked me into it.

Harriet?

No, I wanna straighten up a few things in the den.

What's this?

It's an old budget book of mom's.

Oh, yeah, 1946.

I remember this.

Did she keep one every year?

No.

This was the only one.

It lasted about six months.

Six months?

Yeah, well, actually, that's pretty good.

But what happened?

Well, it seems they were having

this big sale at one of the department stores in town.

I know what you mean.

We're having the same problem at our house.

Well, I really don't think a budget is the answer.

That's kinda like going on a diet.

It's OK if you can stick with it,

but they usually only last a couple of weeks.

Oh, speaking of diets, how about the ice cream?

OK, good.

I really shouldn't eat any.

It's not that Kris is careless with money,

it's just that she buys a lot of little things

we don't really need.

Well, I know that's a subject that

has to be approached very delicately.

I mean, wives can be pretty touchy

when it comes to a discussion of household finances.

I always thought husbands and wives were supposed

to be able to talk things over.

Well, yeah, theoretically, that's true.

But unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way.

What do you suggest?

Well, I suggest you use a little strategy.

Let her think it's her idea.

Well, how do I do that?

Well, why don't you pick out something ridiculous, something

that you don't need and tell her you're gonna buy it.

What good will that do?

Well, that'll put her on the defensive.

She'll start saying things like, well, that's silly,

and we can't afford it.

And then, you reluctantly agree that you

should both stop spending money on things you can't afford.

That sounds just sneaky enough to work.

Believe me, it does.

I've worked it on your mother several times.

Or maybe she's worked it on--

anyway, I know it works.

You know, I think I've got just the thing.

Wally came over the other night and started

talking about buying a horse. A horse?

That's ridiculous.

A horse?

That's ridiculous.

I thought you liked horses.

Well, I do.

So do I. I just thought it might be fun to own one.

I don't get it.

Where did this idea come from?

Well, I don't know.

From Wally, I guess.

He said he'd like to have a horse,

but he can't afford to buy one.

- And we can? - Well, I don't know.

I haven't looked into it.

I'm sure we can squeeze it out of the budget someplace.

Aren't they terribly expensive?

No, I don't think so.

I'm not talking about a thoroughbred.

I just mean a horse we can ride around on.

Are you sure you're not putting me on?

Why should I do that?

I don't know.

It just seems like such a crazy idea.

What's crazy about it?

Lots of people have horses.

OK, who do you know who owns a horse?

Well, that's not the point.

Besides, we don't have to pay for it all at once.

We can buy it on time.

Well, it isn't just the initial cost.

We'd have to board him at a stable,

and somebody would have to take care of him.

The feed bill alone would probably break us.

Well, they don't eat much.

Oh, no?

You've never heard the old expression, eat like a horse?

It's just an expression.

Now, wait a second, you haven't already bought one.

- No, of course not. - Oh, good.

Well, then, promise me you won't buy one

until we talk the whole thing over carefully.

OK, I promise.

It's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of.

Listen, now, we're just gonna look around and ask

a few questions. We're not gonna buy one.

OK.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Morning, ma'am.

What can I do for you?

Well, my wife and I were talking about horses

last night, so we thought we'd take a ride up

here and look around.

We've got some beautiful horses.

You just wanna take a little ride,

or you interested in buying one?

Oh, we couldn't afford to buy one.

Just as a matter of curiosity, suppose we owned a horse

and kept him up here.

What would the charges be?

Well, it'd cost you about $50 a month.

- Does that include the feed? - Of course.

That's room and board.

But if you want somebody to exercise him regularly,

it's gonna cost you a little bit more.

Oh, we wouldn't need that.

We'd be riding quite a bit ourselves.

- If we buy one. - Well, yeah.

That's what I mean.

Well, like I say, we've got some fine horses.

If you are interested, I can make you a real good deal.

- Do you mind if we look around? - You go right ahead.

Make yourself at home. Thank you.

Thanks.

- Hi, you guys. - Hi.

Hi, Wally. What are you doing up here?

I just came out to buy a horse.

Say, I'll give you $40 for that old nag, Mr. Simpson.

I don't think so, Wally. But thanks just the same.

Do you mind if I show him to my friend?

No, go right ahead.

Come on.

Can you buy a horse for $40?

Well, of course not. But that's all I have.

He's a good-looking horse, though.

Come on. I'll introduce you.

Don't get any ideas.

OK, you convinced me.

Well, here he is.

Rick and Kris Nelson, I'd like you to meet Jonathan Plumstead.

Plumstead?

Well, I was kind of thinking of him as my own.

Oh, pardon me.

I wanna do a little haggling here.

Mr. Simpson, I'll give you $42.15.

'Fraid not, Wally.

$0.23?

Sure is a beautiful horse.

Yeah, he sure is.

Hi, boy.

We really couldn't afford him.

Oh, I know.

We'd have to buy a saddle and a bridle.

Oh, sure.

And blankets and horse shoes.

It'd be bills from the veterinarian.

I hate to think of what we'd have to pay for him,

even though we probably could buy him on time.

I mean, there'd be monthly payments and all.

Oh, it was a ridiculous idea.

Well, it wasn't that ridiculous.

After all, there's some advantages.

If we did buy him, we'd probably do a lot of riding,

and that's good exercise.

Well, yeah.

Come on.

Let's go.

Hey, you know that lampshade I bought was ridiculous.

I think I'll return it and get my money back.

Oh. Well, fine.

I mean, that's up to you.

Probably be enough for the down payment.

Down payment for what?

For Jonathan.

- Are you kidding? - No.

You said you wanted to buy a horse,

and the more I think about it, I think you're right.

It's a wonderful idea.

- No, wait a second. - Mr. Simpson.

- Kris? - Mr. Simpson?

Kris.

What do you say, Harriet?

Come on, let's go.

Be right there.

Sure hope mom can talk her out of it.

Well, I thought you'd already bought the horse.

Well, we made a down payment, but Mr. Simpson

said we could let him know definitely this afternoon.

Well, I still don't understand how it could have happened.

Neither do I. Kept saying how ridiculous it was

and how we couldn't afford it, and all of a sudden,

she was saying, let's buy it.

Well, you should have put your foot down.

How could I?

It was my idea.

Or to be more exact, it was your idea.

Besides, I can't very well say anything.

She thinks she's doing me a favor by buying the horse.

Well, yeah.

I could see how you kind of trapped yourself.

Well, I still say it was a good idea.

It just happened to backfire. That's all.

It sure did.

Well, look, when we get out to the stables,

don't say too much.

Just let your mother and me carry the ball.

I'm sure we can talk Kris out of it.

I hope so.

Harriet?

OK, I'm ready.

Are you kidding?

What do you mean, am I kidding?

Come on, partner.

Let's hit the trail.

She's gonna be a big help.

Then there's the feed bill, and the veterinarian

in case the horse gets sick.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

It all adds up.

It's a beautiful horse, though.

Well, yeah.

He sure is.

Oh, here's your mother.

Hey, that was fun.

Isn't he a wonderful horse?

Oh, yeah.

I never knew I could ride.

It was just like being in a rocking chair.

I think he's the most beautiful horse I've ever seen.

Oh, I'm so glad we're gonna buy him.

It was good exercise, too.

Maybe a little too good.

Well, I'll go get some sugar.

Hey, mom, what are you trying to do to me?

Oh, I'm sorry, dear, but it was fun,

and he's a beautiful horse.

We were supposed to talk her out of buying the horse,

remember?

Well, maybe we were wrong.

Maybe they should buy him.

Well, how would you like to have me buy a horse?

I like it better this way.

Mom.

Sugar, dear.

- Oh, no, thanks. - Well, not for you.

For the horse.

Oh.

Well, here, why don't you feed him?

I'm really not very interested in horses.

Why don't you take a little ride?

Oh, no, thanks.

I haven't been on a horse in years.

Aw, come on.

I bet you're a good rider.

No, I'm really not.

I'm not very good. Well, you are so.

You used to ride all the time when you were a boy.

You told me so.

Well, yeah, but-- but they were much smaller horses.

See, actually, they were just ponies.

It was at Coney Island.

We used to go down there when we were kids.

They had these ponies.

Man used to lead them.

Oh, go ahead.

Take a little ride.

Yeah, come on.

You might as well, Pop.

OK, there we go.

Giddyup, boy.

Giddyup.

Giddyup.

Giddyup.

- How's dinner coming? - Oh, fine.

It'll be ready in a minute. Good.

I'm starved.

How was school today?

Oh, pretty good.

What'd you do today?

Well, I only had one class this afternoon,

so I went out to the stable and rode Jonathan for a while.

Oh, good.

Sure is a wonderful horse.

Yeah, I know.

Now, if you're gonna say anything about the money,

don't. I've already saved $10 today.

You saved $10?

That's what I said. Now, go on in and sit down.

I'll bring dinner in in a minute.

- You need any help? - Oh, no.

That's OK.

What's this?

It's dinner.

A poached egg on toast?

That's breakfast.

I don't wanna eat this for dinner

and have it for breakfast, too.

Don't worry, you won't.

You mean, who needs breakfast?

Right.

And that's how you save the $10?

Well, maybe not quite that much.

Can we afford a little salt and pepper?

Sure.

Help yourself.

Thanks.

I suppose I can look forward to these wholesome

meals for a while.

Until we finish paying for the horse.

I'll make a deal with you.

Heads, we do it your way, tails, we eat meat once in a while.

Hey, what are you doing?

It's for our horsey bank.

See how easy it is to save money?

Haven't you finished studying yet?

Yeah, but there's a little extra homework

known as trying to straighten out the budget.

How are you doing?

Well, in spite of your economy campaign, not so good.

We might as well face it.

We can't afford a horse.

Well, as long as we've got him anyway,

we might as well get some enjoyment out of him.

Look, why don't we forget the budget for once

and let's go riding tomorrow.

Both of us on the same horse?

Well, you could rent one.

Horse rental.

Rick?

He's been like that all day.

Uh, Rick?

Oh, sorry.

Would you check this over and then

put it in the Harrison file?

Yeah, OK.

What's that?

Well, it's our budget book.

It looks like a bunch of chicken scratches.

What do you expect?

I wrote most of it while I was horseback riding.

You stuck with that horse, huh?

Yeah, it sure looks like it.

Hey, you know, you could really help me out if you wanted to.

By doing what?

By giving me a $100 raise.

Why don't I just give you a little advice.

Be cheaper. Are you kidding?

That's how I got into this mess, by listening to pop's advice.

OK, that's your choice.

You can listen to my words of wisdom

or put that chicken scratching away and get back to work.

When you put it that way, go ahead.

Sit down. Make yourself comfortable.

Now, what's the advice?

Well, first of all, let's look at this thing realistic.

The horse is kinda like a new thing to Kris, like a hobby.

As soon as the novelty wears off, your troubles are over.

Well, that's great.

The only trouble is the budget will never last that long.

Well, meanwhile, you just don't sit back.

You speed up the action a little.

Well, how do I do that.

Well, by a process of saturation.

Turn her life into a continuous horse opera.

You talk about nothing but horses morning, noon,

and night.

You gotta live and breathe horses.

Horses, horses, horses.

You've convinced me.

I'm getting sick already.

Believe me, it'll work.

Maybe you're right.

Of course, on the other hand, I could walk right in

and tell her I'm sorry, but I'm the head of the house

and we just can't afford the horse, and we're gonna sell it,

and that's that.

Maybe I better try it your way.

It's safer.

Howdy, gal.

I'm home.

Well, hi.

Is that you? Yep.

How do you like it?

Fine, I guess.

Where'd you get it?

I borrowed it from one of the guys at the fraternity house.

I figured as long as we have a horse,

we might as well enjoy it.

Are you gonna be all right?

Yeah, I just need a little more practice.

You know, there's a great movie on television tonight.

Oh, you mean that Clark Gable movie?

We've seen it.

No, no, it's a Western.

"Gunfight at Chickawa Junction."

- Oh. - Yeah.

I saw it a couple of months ago.

There's some great shots of horses in it.

You can learn a lot about riding that way, you know.

Yeah, I guess you can.

Hey, why don't we eat in front of the television set tonight,

then we can watch both pictures.

Both pictures?

Yeah, there's another Western comes on before it.

OK, I'll get dinner ready.

Hey!

Not bad, huh?

Little doggies gonna get away from me.

What are you doing?

Kris, wake up.

Hmm?

What's the matter?

Get up.

It's time to get up.

Are you kidding? It's still dark.

Yeah, I know, but I have a surprise for you.

We're going on a breakfast ride.

I have classes this morning.

Yeah, so do I. We've got plenty of time.

It's only 4:30.

Kris?

Come on, will ya?

I'm getting hungry.

Be right there.

Hey, why don't you try and get a weather report?

Maybe it'll rain and we won't have to go.

Ready?

No.

Come on, let's go.

I still think it's a shame to wake up that poor horse.

Are you kidding?

He'll be glad to see us.

Give me a home where the buffalo roam--

Not a bad idea.

Where the deer and the antelope play.

Where seldom is heard a discouraging word--

Can we drop you someplace? My car is just down the block.

Oh, no. That's OK.

Thanks.

Rick's picking me up at 4 o'clock.

He's right on time.

Oh, no.

I thought he meant in the car.

You trying to tell me something?

I sure am.

OK, I'll change.

I'll get it.

It might be somebody we know.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Hi.

What's that?

Housewarming present for your new horse.

Gee, thanks, Dave.

It's great, isn't it? Yeah.

Hey, we can hang it up over the fireplace here.

Yeah.

Or you could put it in the hall and hang your hat on it.

He never takes his off.

Let's see, where can we put it.

Well, why don't we wait till I can find

just the right place for it.

OK.

Well, I gotta get going.

I'll see you later.

Thanks a lot, Dave.

That's OK.

Say hello to June for us.

OK, I will.

Oh, I hope your horse has a warm blanket.

It's kinda cold out tonight.

Oh, do you think he'll need an extra blanket?

Well, that's up to you.

I'll see you later.

Good night.

Gee, I'd hate to have him catch cold.

What do you think?

OK, I'll get my coat.

Do you think he's warm enough now?

- Yeah, he seems to be. - Good.

Then let's go home. I'm freezing.

Oh, wait a second. It's still early.

Suppose it should get real cold later on.

Somebody should be here to turn up the heat on the blanket.

Boy, wait till my mother finds out

what we've done with her wedding present.

What do you think we oughta do?

Just what you've been trying to get me to do.

Sell him.

Sell Jonathan?

Don't overplay it or I may change my mind.

You really wanna sell him?

No, but it's the only thing we can do.

I guess you're right.

Good night, boy.

Here you are.

And here's the money, $42.23.

And don't worry about the balance.

I'll pay it off $5 a month, even if it takes forever.

At that rate, it probably will.

Well, old boy, looks like you're all mine.

Give me a hand here, will you, Rick?

Well, it should be quite an experience.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I'm talking about the horse.

Well, here I go.

One if by land, two if by sea.

Well, it probably wasn't the smartest deal we ever made,

but at least we won't have all those expenses anymore.

I know.

I sure do hate to see him go.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Oh, Rick.

Oh, hi, Mr. Simpson.

Hi.

Any chance you're still interested in selling

your horse?

Oh, we just sold them. Why?

What'd you have in mind?

Well, I thought I'd like to buy him back again.

Awful lot of people seem to like to ride him.

Tell you what I'll do.

I'll make you a proposition.

I'll give you what you paid for him, you and Kristin come out

any time you want to and ride him free of charge.

Well, gee, I wish you'd said that five minutes ago.

Yeah, we just sold him to Walt just before you came up.

Help!

Whoa, boy!

Whoa!

Whoa, fella.

Take it easy.

Take it easy.

Don't go away.

I have a feeling you got a deal.

Don't just stand there.

Throw me a life raft.

Call the Coast Guard.

Tonight's, "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by Blue Bonnet margarine, the margarine

that looks, cooks, and tastes like the high priced spread.

Everything's better with Blue Bonnet on it.