Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriett," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode, here's Kris.

Well, you played pretty good for an old timer, Pop.

Yeah, I guess I still got a couple of good games left

on me.

You probably would have had us if it

hadn't been for that 13th hole.

Yeah, we'd known you wanted to play in the sand,

we could have gone to the beach.

OK.

Oh, hi. Hi.

How'd you make out?

Well, not too bad if you don't count the 13th hole.

You better hurry up and get changed.

What for?

We're going to the art exhibit at the auditorium.

That's not today, that's tomorrow.

Your mother's getting a little absent-minded.

I am not.

June and I are going to that.

OK, you can settle this then.

Is it today or tomorrow?

It's next week.

There, you see?

What do you mean, there you see?

You thought it was tomorrow.

Well, you must admit, tomorrow is closer than next week.

Nevertheless, you were wrong.

Well, yeah, but you were wronger.

It sure is great to be back home again.

Yeah, your mother hasn't changed a bit.

OK.

You fellas going to stay and have some lunch with us?

Oh, thanks just the same, Mom.

But we're going down to the fraternity.

We can get something to eat down there.

Yeah, as long as the wives let us out today,

we thought we might as well make the most of it.

Oh, well, stay and have some coffee with us anyway, huh?

- OK, thanks. - Yeah, you talked us into it.

How are things at the fraternity?

We haven't seen any of the boys in such a long time.

Oh, everything's pretty much the same.

Everybody's in good shape.

With the possible exception of Wally.

I think he's getting a little fatter.

Oh, well, that's strange.

He hasn't been by here for any cookies or apple pie lately.

I think he's found other sources.

How's Fred making out with his chemistry experiments?

Well, that was over a year ago.

Oh, really? He finished it, huh?

Yeah, everything worked out fine.

We were covered by insurance and had the basement rebuilt.

How's Bruce?

Oh, he's doing great.

Well, tell all the boys we said, hello,

and that we miss them.

OK, Mom.

Yeah, when you two guys got married,

we not only lost a couple of sons but an entire fraternity

house.

Yeah, this really was the official gathering

place, wasn't it? Oh, it sure was.

I never could tell when the boys stopped

by whether it was for a cup of coffee of the weekend.

Yeah, I remember the first party you guys gave here.

Yeah, we sure had a lot of good ones.

Yeah, well, there's one good thing.

Your mother and I get a chance to get out a little more often

these days.

That is, whenever your father can remember where we're going

and when we're supposed to be there.

Well, at least you boys hung around long enough

to hear your mother get the last word in again.

Maybe we'd better leave while you're still laughing.

No, no, finish your coffee, then leave.

Come on.

You owe me $5 bucks.

OK, I'll pay you as soon as I can borrow it.

Hey, watch it, you guys.

Dave, could you lend me $5 bucks?

Are you kidding?

You already owe me two.

Rick, could you lend me $7 bucks?

I can't hear you.

Suppose Mom and Dad really miss those guys?

It does seem a little hard to believe.

It would be nice if they stopped by the house

occasionally and said hello, though.

Well, they probably just don't think about it

now that we're not there.

You know, maybe I could suggest it to a couple of them.

Well, I know how we could get Wally.

Just mention apple pie.

Hey, did I hear somebody say apple pie?

Hi, Wally.

Hi, Wally.

Don't change the subject.

What's this about the apple pie?

Well, my folks were asking about you.

They were wondering how you were doing.

Oh, that's very nice.

But what about the apple pie?

Boy, talk about a one-track mind.

Look, forget the apple pie for a minute.

How come you haven't been by to see them?

- Who? - My Mom and Dad.

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea.

Hey, your Mom makes good apple pie, you know?

Yeah, we know.

You know, I ought to stop by and say hello to them.

I haven't been over there in quite a while.

I don't know how the message got there, but I guess it did.

- Hi, Bruce. - Oh, hi, Bruce.

Are you guys coming to the party this weekend?

What party?

Jeez, you married guys ought to get around more often,

find out what's going on.

We're having a big house party here this Saturday night.

I'll talk to Kris about it.

Well, I've got a lot of work to do,

but we'll make it if we can.

It's going to be a great party.

We're trying to work out a treasure hunt.

Hey, it sounds good.

Well, we'll see you guys.

Oh, hey, Bruce.

My Mom and Dad were asking about you.

They were wondering how you're doing.

- Him too? - Oh, thanks.

Tell them well next time you see them.

Why don't you drop by there yourself?

I know they'd love to see you. It's a good idea.

I'll do that one of these days.

Hey, check with me before you go, will you?

I don't want to have to settle for half an apple pie.

Well, hi, Wally. Come on in.

Oh, thank you.

I just thought I'd stop by and say, hello.

Oh, you're all alone?

Oh, yeah.

It's a coincidence.

We were just talking about you, wondering how you were.

Oh, I'm just fine.

Good.

Say, the old place hasn't changed much.

No, just about the same.

Come on in.

Oh, thank you.

How's your golf game?

Oh, it hasn't changed much, just about the same.

Oh, that's too bad.

I thought I heard voices out here.

Hi, Wally. Hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Boy, you sure look lovely. Well, thank you.

Yes, sir.

I was just saying to Rick the other day, of all the mothers,

Mrs. Nelson's always been my favorite.

Well, now, that's very nice to hear.

Yes, sir, you've always been the apple

of my pie--

eye.

Same old Wally. Come on out in the kitchen.

We'll see what we can find.

Well, if you insist.

So I said to Professor Carson, now look here, Professor.

I think you're wrong. And I ought to know.

After all, I've been in this class longer than you have.

Of course, you're exaggerating.

But not much.

What's new over

Well, let's see.

I'm still social chairman.

In fact, we're organizing a party for this weekend.

Oh, have you had many parties lately?

Oh, yeah, we've had a few.

Of course, it'd be hard to beat the parties we

used to have over here.

Yeah, they were a lot of fun, weren't they?

They sure were.

Oh, we certainly enjoyed having them.

Well, I hate to eat and run, as the saying goes.

But I've got some studying to do.

Unless, of course, you're going to bake another apple pie.

I'll have another one for you the next time you drop by.

It's a deal.

Don't be such a stranger now.

Drop by any time at all.

Oh, thanks a lot.

It's always nice to see you folks.

Nice to see you too.

On behalf of myself and my stomach,

I want to thank you for the refreshments

and the hospitality.

Any time at all.

Say, do you still play the saxophone, Mr. Nelson?

I gave that up a couple of years ago.

Remember when it used to get to be around midnight,

and Mrs. Nelson would coax you to get out the saxophone

and play for us? Oh, yeah.

Well, it was the only way I could get you guys to go home.

OK, I can take a hint.

I'll go quietly.

Say hello to the rest of the boys.

You bet I will. And thanks again.

Goodnight, Wally.

Goodnight.

It was awfully nice of him to drop by, wasn't it?

Yeah, he sure keeps the old conversational ball rolling,

doesn't he?

Yeah, he's a lot of fun.

He's a good talker and a good eater.

That's for sure.

Well, hi, Bruce. Come on in.

Thank you, Mrs. Nelson.

I don't believe you've met Danny O'Driscoll.

This is Mrs. Nelson.

- How do you do? - Hello, Mrs. Nelson.

We were just driving by and I thought it'd

be nice to stop and say, hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you.

No, of course not.

Come on in.

Gee, we haven't seen you for quite a while.

That's right.

I was just telling Danny about the time we had the luau here.

Remember, when Mr. Nelson did the Tahitian dance?

Oh, yes.

Well, we've been trying to forget about that.

Well, come on out to the kitchen.

I got some coffee and cookies out there.

Oh, thank you.

Now, I'm not saying that the old-fashioned line play was

better than the modern systems, you understand.

But I just can't get used to a defensive lineman

dropping back and backing up his own line.

Well, we don't always drop back.

That depends on the defensive signals.

Well, that's another thing.

I think there are too many defensive signals nowadays.

It just complicates things.

I'll show you what I mean.

Sounds like old times, huh?

Sure does.

Now, here's your offensive guard.

Now, I like to see the defensive linemen right up in that line,

putting pressure on the quarterback.

Take your position.

Now, protect yourself, because as soon as you move,

I'm going to knife right on through there.

Well, hi, boys.

Hi, Mrs. Nelson.

I'll get it.

Oh.

Oh.

Ah.

Well, thanks for the books, Mrs. Nelson.

I'll return them next week. Oh, take your time.

It's no hurry.

And thanks for the cookies and milk too.

- Yes, thanks so much. - You're welcome.

Any time at all.

It was so nice to have met you.

I've heard about the wonderful parties you used to have here.

Oh, thank you. They were fun.

- Bye-bye. - Bye.

Bye-bye. Goodbye, Jane.

Oh, it's sure nice of you both to stop by.

Thank you. It was our pleasure.

And thanks a lot for the refreshments, Mrs. Nelson.

Oh, you're welcome. Any time at all.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Goodnight.

They're nice boys, aren't they?

Yeah, sure are.

It's a funny thing.

I don't ever remember seeing them before.

Well, now that you mention it, neither do I.

I don't ever remember coming over here before.

Do you? Of course you don't.

Dave and Rick just told everybody to drop by.

You think maybe they just meant members

of their own fraternity?

I'll get it, Harriet.

Oh, good afternoon.

Hello there, sir.

Oh, won't you come in?

Thank you.

Harriet?

We've got a visitor.

Another one of the boys.

Awfully glad to have this opportunity

to talk to both you and the lady of the house.

What's this?

I'll try not to take up too much of your time.

I'll just spread a little of this common household dirt

around.

I can't believe it.

We haven't had any visitors so far tonight.

Well, the evening is young yet.

We have had quite a parade the last few days though,

haven't we?

Sure have.

You don't suppose Dave and Rick had anything to do

with it by any chance, do you?

Well, it's possible.

I think it's a little more to it than that though.

What do you mean?

Well, did you notice that they all

managed to say something about the parties

we used to have here?

It could be they were hinting, you know.

You know, you may be right.

Didn't Wally say something about a party this weekend?

Yeah, I think he mentioned it a couple of times.

Well, gee, they figure on having it here,

I hope they let us know in time.

Oh, I'm sure they will.

Well, I have a few things to take care of out

in the kitchen.

We might be wrong, you know.

Don't bake too many apple pies.

Well, OK, if you promise not to get out your saxophone.

OK.

I'll see you tomorrow.

OK.

Hey, Wally, have you got the chaperones for the dance yet?

What do you mean, have I got the chaperones?

You know the rules.

You can't have a fraternity party without chaperones.

That's not what I asked you.

Have you got the chaperones for the dance?

Will you quit worrying?

Everything will be taken care of.

OK, you're the chairman.

I'll see you guys tomorrow.

OK, so long, Rick.

Oh, Rick?

- Yeah? - Hey, listen.

You've got to bail me out.

I was supposed to get the chaperones for the party

and I forgot all about it.

Well, you can get somebody, can't you?

Oh, I don't know. It's kind of late.

How about you and Kris?

Are you kidding?

That's ridiculous.

An 18-year-old girl chaperoning a dance?

Well, you're married.

What difference does that make?

Besides, you chaperoned one of the rush parties

last September.

Yeah, and we had a great time, too.

We spent the whole evening playing bridge

with the Dean and his wife. Get somebody else.

Rick!

Greg, do you have a dime?

No, I don't.

Ken do you have a dime?

No, I don't.

Cheapskates.

- Hello? - Oh, hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Guess who?

Oh, hi, Wally.

Say, it may be a little short notice,

but I've got a favor to ask of you on behalf

of the fraternity.

Sure, what is it?

Well, I feel I know you well enough

not to have to hint around.

Of course.

You remember when I was over at your house

and I mentioned we were planning a party for this Saturday

night?

Well, I know it's kind of an imposition.

I'm way ahead of you.

Tell the boys it'll be a pleasure.

We'll be glad to do it.

Oh, well, thanks a million Mrs. Nelson.

You're a real sport.

Shall we say 8:30? Fine.

OK.

We'll see you, Wally.

We were right.

We're having a party Saturday night.

I love those guys.

What are you doing?

Oh, I was just fixing the basketball net.

You know, the guys always like to come out and shoot

a few baskets.

Well, it's a little safer than a football scrimmage.

How are the refreshments coming?

I hope I have enough.

Oh, I'm sure you do.

What do you think?

I think you've got enough here,

unless Wally gets here first.

How do you like my flowers?

Oh, they're beautiful.

Maybe you could mix them up a little better.

This one here.

Hey!

How do I look?

Beautiful.

- You're just saying that. - No, I'm not.

You look great. Suppose I looked awful.

Would you be honest and tell me?

Well, of course I would.

And hurt my feelings?

Come on, let's get going.

You're sure we're not going to get stuck with being chaperones

again this time? No, we're safe.

My Mom and Dad got stuck with the job.

Well, gee, if they're going to the party too,

why don't we just stop by and pick them up?

That's a good idea.

Think I'll give them a call.

It's right on the way.

Why don't we just stop by?

Well, I sure am henpecked.

Yeah, that'll be the day.

You sure your Mom and Dad are going to be chaperones?

They haven't been in a long time, you know.

Yeah, positive.

Hi. Come on in.

Hi.

You guys are the first to arrive.

What do you mean?

Well, Mom said wasn't supposed to start until 8:30.

But the she was probably wrong.

Come on in and sit down.

Harriet?

Rick and Kris are here.

The first ones to arrive.

I thought you said the party was at the fraternity.

Well, it is.

I'm sure of it.

What about all these decorations?

Yeah, I guess Mom and Pop think

it's going to be over here.

Well, somebody ought to tell them.

Well, you can't do that.

Look at all the trouble they've gone to.

Well, they're going to find out sooner or later.

Look, why don't I go to the fraternity

and find out what's going on. You stay here with Mom and Pop.

Oh, no you don't.

If you're leaving, I'm coming too.

- Hi. - Oh, hi.

- Hi. - Oh, we'll see you later.

Well, where are you going?

Well, it's a little early.

Well, that's OK. Come on and sit down.

Well, we'll be back in a little while.

You probably have some things you want to do.

- No, we're all ready. - We're all set.

Well, we've got a few things we have to do.

We won't be long.

What was that all about?

I don't know.

What are we going to do?

Gee, I don't know.

Hey, maybe we can move the party over

to the fraternity house.

Hey, Rick, catch.

- Oh, hi, Dave. - Hi.

- What are you doing over here? - Pop wanted a basketball.

- Shh, keep it down, will you? - What's the matter?

They're all set up for the party in there.

Yeah, I know.

They've been working on it all afternoon.

Well, that's great, but the party's

over at the fraternity house. You're kidding.

Well, I wish I was. Come on, let's go.

Where are we going?

Let's go over there and see what we can work out.

What do you mean, move the party?

Just what I said.

Move it over to Mom and Dad's house.

Well, how do I do that?

What do you mean, how do you do that?

You're the chairman of the committee, aren't you?

Just tell everybody there's been a little misunderstanding

and the party's been moved over to my Mom and Dad's house.

Look, at the last dance, the musicians didn't show up.

The time before that, they delivered the ice cream

to the Sigma Chi house by mistake.

And the time before that, I forgot to get the chaperones.

They said, this is my last chance.

If anything goes wrong this time,

they're going to take away my key to the refrigerator.

Mom and Dad are all set up for a party.

They're waiting for us. OK, you guys.

Here's your first clue for the treasure hunt.

You'll take off as soon as the bugle blows.

That's all we need is a treasure hunt.

- Hey, that's it. - What's it?

Look, what do you do on a treasure hunt?

You read a note, and it leads you to the next note.

And that note leads you to the next note.

And that note leads you to the next note.

And the last note leads you to your Mom and Dad's house.

And everybody will wind up there without realizing it.

Hey, yeah, that's a good idea. Where's the last note?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

- Well, who made them up? - Well, Fred and Charlie.

But they wouldn't even tell me. They're all hiding them now.

Well, we got the first clue.

If we can get ahead of everybody and run down

the rest of the clues, then we can change the last one

when we get to it.

Come on.

Let's get going.

No sign of them yet?

Not yet.

And I didn't get the time wrong.

He said 8:30.

Well, I know that.

Are you sure he said tonight at 8:30?

Tonight at 8:30.

Yes.

Well, they'll probably be along any minute now.

Hey, Dave.

Let me see that again.

It's says, bow to your favorite Neapolitan waiter.

Neapolitan means ice cream. It's got to be here.

Well, come on.

What have we got to lose?

Hi, Jack.

Hi.

Oh.

That's it.

It's the clue.

Shh, Moby Dick. I don't get it.

Moby Dick?

Well, "Moby Dick" is a book, and shh could mean the library.

Am I right? I'm not allowed to tell.

All I can say is, you're not wrong.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, there he is.

Hey, Jack?

I'm getting worried about these.

Let me try one.

Taste great.

Well, I'm going to put them in the refrigerator.

Kids will be here any minute.

You said that a half an hour ago.

Want to go outside and shoot some baskets?

No, thank you.

David!

Pardon me, sir.

Thank you.

- I see you got it. - Yeah.

I'm supposed to put it back as soon as you read it.

Has anybody been here before us?

Well, yeah. About a half a dozen couples.

Gee, and this is the last clue.

If you're the first to win the race,

go claim your prize at the Nelson place.

- The Nelson place? - Who changed the note?

Well, who cares. Let's go.

- Hi. - Hi.

It's a great party.

Yeah, it sure is. Have you seen Wally?

Yeah, he's in the kitchen, I think.

Oh, there he is.

Yeah, hey, Wally.

Oh, hi, Kris. Hi, Rick.

- Hi. - You changed the note, huh?

Oh, yeah.

That's sure nice of you.

Well, actually, I did it in self-defense.

After you guys left, we had a little visit

from the Department of Water and Power.

- At the fraternity? - Yeah.

They turned off all the lights.

How come?

Well, I guess it was my fault. See,

we were a little short of funds, so I

borrowed the money we had set aside to pay the light bill

and used it to pay for the party.

With no lights and no chaperones,

I really don't think the Dean would have been too happy.

Well, anyway, I'm sure glad it worked out for Mom and Dad.

Yeah. Me too.

Just like old times.

Yeah.

Now, I'd kind of forgotten that when the kids were having

their parties downstairs, we were always up here keeping out

of the way.

That's right.

Yeah, I don't remember the parties being as noisy as this.

Well, never mind, dear.

We'll give them a couple more hours,

and then you can go down and chase them all home.

Maybe you think I won't.

And evening is nigh.

We're happy in my blue heaven.

Say you love me.

Say you do.

And I'll spend my life loving you too.

When today is just a memory, my heart will still belong to you.

Say you love me too, say you do.

You're my every dream come true.

Let me share them all with you.

I'll be yours my whole life through.

Now and always, I love you.

Say you love me.

Say you do.

And I'll spend my life loving you too.

When today is just a memory, my heart will still belong to you.

Say you love me too, say you do.

Say you love me too, say you do.

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