Original subtitles

"The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

Here's Rick.

And also starring in tonight's episode, here's Chris.

- Well, hi, kids. - Hi, Mom.

Hey, looks like we're just in time.

- You sure are. - Can I help you with anything?

Well, yeah.

You might help with the salad there.

OK.

Something the matter with that?

Oh, no. The salad looks fine.

It's just me.

What's the matter?

My husband is leaving me.

He's what?

Yeah, for three whole days.

And nights.

I've got to go on a business trip for the office.

Big deal.

Oh, that sounds interesting.

Is Dave going too?

No, he just got back from a trip.

And June put her foot down and said let somebody else go

this time, so I was elected.

Why can't I put my foot down?

Because I haven't got a younger brother

I can pass the buck to.

You know, I don't even think you're going to miss me.

I haven't even gone yet.

Stop evading the issue.

OK.

I promise I'll miss you.

Thanks a lot.

Who's going to miss who?

Hi, pop.

Oh, Rick's leaving Chris for a few days.

He's just going on a little business trip.

That's the way to look at it.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Getting out of town, huh?

It sounds like fun.

What do you mean by that?

Well, I--

I'll answer the door.

OK.

Well, guess who's here.

Around dinnertime? It must be Wally.

- Hi. - Oh, that's no fair.

You saw my nose pressed against the window.

- Come on and join the party. - Oh, well, thanks, Mrs. Nelson.

But gee, this is kind of embarrassing.

I didn't realize it was around dinnertime.

I just happened to be in the pot roast,

and I thought I'd drop in.

Well, as long as you're here, why don't you stay for dinner?

Oh, well, thanks, Mrs. Nelson, but I couldn't do that.

You might not have enough.

Oh, of course, we do.

That is if you can hold it down to three servings.

Well, OK. But I can't guarantee anything.

Your mother's an awfully good cook, you know.

Thank you.

And who should know better than Wally?

That's right. Help yourself.

Oh, thank you.

Come to think of it, this is the third time this week

I just happened to be in the neighborhood around dinnertime.

It's the fourth time, but who's counting?

Yes, you hardly anything at all.

Oh, I had plenty. Thanks.

Well, the dinner sure was great, mom.

- Thank you. - It still is.

You know, I think Chris is starting

to get lonesome already.

I guess maybe I am.

I told you I'm just going to be gone for three days.

Well, that's three too many.

Yeah, a lot can happen in three days.

I once knew this fellow that went away on a weekend fishing

trip, met this great looking blonde, proposed to her, got

turned down.

And the time he got home, his girlfriend

had found out all about it.

- And what happened? - Are you kidding?

Ginger almost killed me.

That's what happened.

Well, you're a big help.

What are you trying to do to me, anyway?

I'm trying to spoil your appetite so I

can have your piece of pie.

I should think you'd be happy that I'm going to miss you.

I am. I think it's very nice.

Is that the best you can do?

No, I really mean it.

I'm going to miss you too.

I remember how much I missed your father the first time

he left me alone.

Yeah, it was on our honeymoon.

I went down to the lobby to get a paper.

I don't mean that time.

I mean the time you sent me a rose every day.

What's this?

I never heard about that.

Well, it was the first year we were married.

Your dad had to go away on business for a week,

and he sent me a red rose every day all the while he was away.

I did?

You mean you don't remember it?

Well, it-- it sounds vaguely familiar.

I'm surprised at you, pop.

Yeah, me too.

I think it's a beautiful thing to do, and very romantic.

And you mean you actually don't remember it?

Well, OK, if you insist.

I went away for a week, and I sent you a rose every day,

and it was beautiful and romantic.

Well, yeah, but don't forget, that was over 20 years ago,

and roses were much cheaper then.

Why do you suppose I only sent one a day?

Tell me this, mom.

Why is it all husbands think they

have to apologize every time they do something

romantic for their wives?

I don't know.

I've been trying to figure that out for years.

Oh, pardon me.

Can an unmarried man say something here?

Please do.

Well, I'd like another slice of hot roast, some potatoes,

some more carrots--

Ah, there you are, you home wrecker.

What are you talking about?

You know darn well what I'm talking about,

you Rose-a-day Romeo.

Oh, who told you about that?

Clara, who else?

And I'll probably never hear the end of it.

Well, I guess Harriet must have told you.

That's right.

So now if you'll just sign a paper to the effect

that it isn't true, I'll take it over and show it to Clara.

Well, what are you getting so upset about?

I'm the one who sent the flowers,

and that was over 25 years ago.

Well, I'm the one who's going to have to top it.

What are you talking about?

The next time I go away on a trip,

I'm going to have to come up with some sickening

stunt to outdo yours.

That's ridiculous.

Oh, it is, is it?

Well, I stepped out on the porch to get the paper this morning,

and Clara got sore because I didn't

bring her back some flowers.

Yes, Mrs. Nelson?

Well, no.

Mrs. Nelson lives here.

Well, I have a delivery here for Mrs. Nelson.

Oh, I'll take it.

Thank you.

Uh, do you have any change with you?

No, I haven't.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Harriet?

Was that for me?

Yeah, it just came from the flower shop.

Boy said it was for you.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Thank you, dear.

You didn't have to do this, you know.

Who's it from?

Oh, you know darn well who it's from.

No, I don't!

"From a secret admirer."

Secret admirer?

Who's that?

Oh, come on.

Don't act so innocent.

Thank you, dear.

Now, Harriet!

I-- I don't know anything about this.

OK, I promise I won't embarrass you and tell anybody

about my romantic husband, but I love you.

Well, I love you too!

A secret admirer?

Oh.

Oh, hi, Oz. Come on in.

Good to see you.

OK, don't act so innocent.

What was that supposed to be, a funny joke or something?

What are you talking?

You know darn well what I'm talking about.

Harriet received the rose and the sloppy note you sent her.

- Who sent her? - You sent her.

Who's that?

Oh, hi.

Oz is accusing me of sending roses to Harriet.

Oh, Harriet told me somebody sent her roses,

but she said it was Ozzie.

Not roses, just one rose.

It arrived morning.

Oh, is it your anniversary?

No, that's not for two weeks.

So I didn't send it. Joe did.

I did not.

Joe sent a rose to Harriet?

I did not.

I didn't send her anything.

Now look what you've done.

I've done?

Come on, why don't you admit it?

You sent it to Harriet as a gag.

I did not send it as a gag.

Then why did you send it?

I didn't send it at all.

You didn't?

No, I didn't.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

That's funny.

Well, I'll see you later.

Wait a minute.

I told you, I'll see you later.

Oz.

Oz!

What do you want?

Either you're going to stay here and explain this to Clara,

or I'm going with you.

I told you, somebody said Harriet

a single rose with a corny note "from your secret admirer."

Well, I didn't send it.

Well, I didn't either, but somebody did.

Well, I think it's beautiful.

Why can't you be romantic like Ozzie?

Clara, may I leave now?

Please do.

Thank you.

Hi, dear.

Isn't it pretty?

Oh, it's beautiful.

Smells nice too.

Yes, it does.

OK, the little game is over.

Oh, then you admit you sent it?

I don't admit anything of the sort.

But I know who did send it.

OK, I'll go along with you.

Who did send it?

You did.

I did?

Come on, admit it.

You sent it to yourself.

Well, now what would I do a thing like that for?

Well, it was just your subtle way

of reminding me that I don't do the thoughtful romantic little

things that I used to do.

Good try, dear, but you can't convince me.

OK, I can't convince you?

I've known you too long.

Maybe I better get a bigger vase.

For one little rose?

For the one you're going to send me tomorrow,

and the next day, and the next day, and the next day.

Just like you did before.

For once and for all, I did not send you that rose,

and I'm not going to send you one tomorrow.

Of course you're not.

They're from my secret admirer.

Hello, Mr. Nelson.

Thank you.

Harriet.

Mrs. Nelson?

That's right.

Here's your rose.

Thank you.

Ozzie?

Mr. Nelson?

Yeah, hi.

Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah.

Here you are.

Thank you.

Oz.

Oh, hi.

Well, that's rose number five, isn't it?

How'd you know?

Clara's been keeping score.

Did you find out who's been sending them?

No.

Well, it's probably just some old boyfriend.

What are you trying to do, make me jealous?

I don't have to try; you already are.

Harriet and I have been married for quite a while.

It's a little late for us to be getting jealous.

Well, all I can say is if somebody

was sending my wife a rose every day,

I'd hire a private investigator to track him down.

A private investigator?

Well, that's what you would do.

As for me, I'd--

as for me, I think I'll go down to the flower shop

and find out for myself.

I'll go with you.

Hey, Oz, why don't I wait out here?

Well, don't you want to find out who's sending the flowers?

You know, it might be kind of embarrassing.

- Embarrassing? - Well, yes.

Let's face it.

After all, somebody's sending your wife roses every day,

and you don't know who it is.

That's why we came down here, to find out who it is.

Well, don't get mad at me.

I'm not getting mad at you.

Sure you're not sending them?

You sure you don't know anything about this?

Oz!

I'll be right with you, Joe.

Yeah.

Looks like he's busy. Why don't we come back later?

He'll be through in a minute. We're here now.

We might as well see what we can find out.

- Now, will that be all? - Yes, thank you very much.

Thank you very much.

Yes, now may I help you gentlemen?

Uh, yes.

Go ahead, Joe.

Me?

You're the one.

Oh, yeah.

Yes, sir?

Oh, well, it's--

I-- I just wanted to ask you something.

Yes?

It's-- it's probably just some sort

of a silly gag.

Mr. Nelson, how nice to see you.

Oh, Mrs. Tyler.

How are You

I'm just fine, thank you.

Oh, this is Mrs. Clark, and this is Mr. Nelson.

How do you do?

This is Mr. Randolph, Mrs. Tyler, Mrs. Clark.

How do you?

How's your lovely wife?

Oh, she's fine.

Thank you.

Well, now don't let me interrupt you.

Oh, uh, well, let's see now.

Where was I?

There was something you wanted to inquire about.

Oh, yes.

Uh, I was just wondering.

I'd like to send some flowers to my mother.

She lives out of town. OK.

Could I have her name and address, please?

Yes.

Her name is Mrs. Ethel I. Nelson.

And, well, there's something I think I should check on first.

Well, it's nice to have met you.

I'll tell Harriet you're asking for her.

Please do.

This is pretty.

Yes, that is nice, isn't it?

Oh, what a waste of time that was.

What'd you do, chicken out?

Well, I couldn't ask him in front of those women, could I?

Be all over town inside of 20 minutes.

You keep getting mad at me.

I'm only trying to help.

I'm sorry.

I'm not mad at you.

At this point, I'm losing interest in the whole thing.

I don't care who's sending the flowers.

Hi, Mr. Nelson.

Oh, hi.

Oh, just a second.

Yes, sir?

I was wondering if you could do me a favor.

This really isn't important.

Just a-- just a matter of curiosity.

I don't know who's sending them, Mr. Nelson.

Well, as I say, it-- it really isn't important.

I was just-- just kind of curious.

Don't you have some kind of an order or something?

It just says I'm supposed to deliver them to Mrs. Nelson.

Well, uh, thanks just the same.

I sure wish I could help you.

You're such a nice man.

Ooh.

Thank you.

You always give me such a generous tip.

Thank you, Mr. Nelson.

That really wasn't necessary.

If you find out anything more, be sure and let us know.

Oh, don't worry.

I will.

Hey, Joe.

You know, I just happened to think of something.

That delivery boy said he was supposed to deliver

the roses to Mrs. Nelson.

That's right, Harriet.

Well, that's just it.

He didn't say Harriet.

He said Mrs. Nelson.

Now, there's a Mrs. David Nelson,

and there's a Mrs. Ricky Nelson.

But the roses are being sent to your house.

Well, that could be a mistake too.

It happens all the time.

In fact, scarcely a day goes by that we

don't get packages or mail that are meant for David or Ricky.

Oh, I suppose it's possible.

Well, sure it is.

Those roses are for Chris.

Rick was going out of town.

He probably figured that that rose a day

bit wasn't so corny after all.

Yeah.

By gosh, you might be right at that.

Well, that's the only logical answer.

How about that?

Harriet's been getting the roses that were meant for Chris.

Come on, we'd better go and explain it to her.

We? What do you mean, we?

Well, you can back up my story.

She hasn't believed anything I've said about the roses

so far.

- Hi, fellas. - Hi.

Hmm.

Something smells good.

Roast lamb.

It's Ozzie's favorite.

Oh, what's the occasion?

Oh, no special occasion.

It's just because he happens to be the nicest husband

in the whole world.

Have you heard about the rose he's been sending me every day?

Yes, I have.

Oh, I-- I want to talk to you about that.

Well, wait just a minute.

I've got a surprise in the dining room for you.

Come on in.

Oh.

Aren't you going to tell her?

Shh.

Not right now.

Here you are.

Oh.

What's this?

It's a golf sweater.

Oh, well, yes, I know.

You like it?

Oh, yes.

It's great. It's a beauty.

I was going to get you one every day,

but I was afraid it might get a little bit expensive.

Oh.

Gosh, I-- I don't know what to say.

Well, just tell her and get it over with.

Tell me what?

No, it's not important.

It can wait.

Joe?

Joe?

Gee.

Thanks for the sweater.

It's just beautiful!

Thank you, dear.

So are the roses.

Oh, pardon me.

Joe?

What else can I do?

I couldn't tell her after all that.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

Well, you've got to tell her sooner or later.

And what about Ricky?

Hey, here's an idea.

Why don't I send a dozen roses to Chris?

That'd take care of it.

You mean and sign them "from a secret admirer"?

Yeah.

And then I could explain it to Rick when he got back.

Well, it might work.

It's got to work.

Joe, uh, will you phone the flower shop

and tell them to send a dozen roses to Chris?

Why me?

Well, if Harriet had heard me phoning, it'd spoil everything.

Come on, will you?

How do I get involved in these things?

Because you're a good friend, a great guy, and a fine,

decent human being.

And not only that--

And not only that, I'm pretty stupid.

Joe, will you please make the call?

You mean I am stupid?

You're a good friend and a great guy.

And a fine, decent human being.

And a fine, decent human sacrifice.

Call, will you, please?

OK, OK.

- Hello, good morning. - Hi.

Hey, that sweater looks great on you.

Oh, thank you.

I have a feeling this is going to be my lucky sweater.

Good.

Well, I have to get going.

Well, hey, wait a minute.

Don't you want any breakfast?

No, thanks.

Oh, I was going to fix pancakes,

and scrambled eggs, and sausages.

Are you kidding?

After that big dinner I had last night,

I'd waddle around the golf course.

I'll fix them for lunch then.

It's a deal.

Maybe you'll see Rick over at the golf course.

Rick?

Did he get back from his trip?

Oh, I guess I forgot to tell you.

He didn't go after all.

Well, are you sure?

Yeah, Chris phoned yesterday and said

David decided to go himself.

Well, what about the roses?

What about them?

I mean, well, I'll see you later.

Hey, wait a minute.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Bye.

No, not that-- your golf clubs!

Oh.

Oh, hi, Ozzie.

Come on in. Thank you.

Is Joe here?

Yeah, he's around someplace.

What a pretty sweater!

Oh, thank you.

Where is he? Where's who?

Joe.

Hi, Oz!

Oh, Joe.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Sure, sit down.

Oh, thank you.

No, I don't have time to sit down.

Did you send roses to Chris? Well, yeah.

That was the idea, wasn't it?

You sent roses to Chris?

You mean Ricky's wife?

Will you wait a second, please?

What's going on here?

First you send roses to Harriet, then you send roses to Chris.

No, no.

I hope you're satisfied.

You've done it again.

I asked him to send the roses to Chris.

It's kind of a long, involved story.

That's right.

I'll say one thing for you two--

you sure do stick together.

Clara! Why?

What's happened?

It seems we've been sending the roses to the wrong girl.

What do you mean?

Well, Rick didn't leave town after all.

David did.

He's the one who's been sending the flowers to Harriet.

You mean to June!

Well, Harriet's been getting them.

Wait a minute.

What kind of double talk is that?

Clara, will you please go make some coffee or something?

OK, OK.

Gee, I wonder what Rick's going to think?

His wife gets a dozen roses from a secret admirer.

Chris has a secret admirer?

OK, I'm leaving.

We've got to phone Chris.

Do you mind if I use your telephone?

Help yourself.

Hello.

Oh, hi, Chris.

Oh, hi, dad.

Is Rick there?

No, he's out playing golf.

Do I sound especially happy?

Oh, well, yes, I guess so.

Well, if I don't, I certainly should.

Do you know what that husband of mine did?

Well, I'm not sure.

He sent me a dozen of the most beautiful roses you've ever

seen, and for no reason at all.

He didn't even go on the trip.

Oh, well, that's real nice.

Did he say he sent them?

Well, not exactly.

But you know how shy he can be at times.

He signed the card "from a secret admirer."

Wasn't that romantic?

Oh, yeah.

Well, when he comes home, would you tell him

I'd kind of like to talk to him, please?

Well, mom invited us over to dinner tonight,

so we'll see you then.

Oh, well, that'll be fine.

Then I'll see you later. OK, dad.

Bye.

Bye.

Well, evidently, Rick played it cool.

She thinks the flowers are from him.

Well, that figures.

Like father like son.

I feel sorry for poor Dave, though.

He's been sending roses to June, and all the while Harriet's

been getting them.

Yeah. Well, that's easy.

I'll just get on the phone and order a dozen roses sent over

to June. You'll do what?

Clara.

What are you doing, sending flowers to everybody in town?

I'm not sending flowers to anybody.

I'll take care of this myself.

I'll see you guys later.

Everybody's getting flowers except me.

When do I get mine?

That's what I want to know.

You keep this up, and you'll get yours, all right.

Hey, what do we got here?

A special treat, and you deserve it, both of you,

for being so thoughtful, considerate, and romantic.

How about that?

Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.

- Anything we can do to help? - Oh, no.

You guys just sit here and relax.

This is pretty good treatment for roses I didn't even send.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I must admit, it was quite a relief

to find out that you were the one who sent them.

Well, are you sure you don't want to explain the whole thing

to Chris? Are you kidding?

I never had it so good.

Let's just leave everything the way it is.

It's almost already.

OK.

I'll get it.

I'll give you three guesses, who do you think it is?

Well, it's just about dinnertime.

Come in, Wally.

How'd you know it was me?

Oh, just a lucky guess.

I just happened to be in the neighborhood.

- Well, that figures. - Hi, Rick.

Hi, Wally.

Hey, wait a second.

What's this?

Oh, it's the last rose for Mrs. Nelson.

I thought I'd deliver it myself.

You've been sending roses to Mrs. Nelson?

Yeah, one rose every day.

I got the idea from you.

Well, I don't get it.

What's the big idea?

Well, I just want to show my appreciation

for all the wonderful meals I've had over here.

You know, when I just happened to be in the neighborhood?

I'm not as big a moocher as you think I am.

In fact, I guess nobody is.

- Hi, Wally. - Oh, hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Hi, Chris.

Hi.

So I thought I'd stop in and say hello.

Oh, good. It's nice to see you.

Well, thank you.

Oh, and don't worry about me as far as dinner is concerned.

- Are you sure? - Oh, sure.

Just whatever you're having is all right with me.

A little lamb chops, anything at all.

- How about fried chicken? - How'd you guess?

That's my favorite.

Oh, by the way.

Here, have one of these.

I agree.

Well, we're ready any time you are.

OK.

There's something we want to talk to you about.

But I want to tell Mrs. Nelson about the rose!

Shh!

That's what we wanted to talk to you about, the roses.

Sit down.

Uh, hello? Pop?

This is Dave.

Oh, hi, Dave.

Well, I just got back from my trip,

and the florist delivered a dozen roses for June.

Card says "from a secret admirer."

Do you know anything about it? Well, yeah.

Look, I'll explain it to you when I see you.

There's nothing to worry about.

I sent them, but you just play it cool and take all the bows.

And I'll call you later, OK?

OK.

Well, fine, Dave.

Now, look.

We admit that you've got us over a barrel,

but we're willing to work out a deal.

Come on, you guys.

Dinner's ready.

OK.

We'll be right there.

Just for openers, how much do you owe at the malt shop?

Well, let's see.

We can figure out later.

Rick and I will pay the entire bill.

- Really? - Yeah, and look.

How would you like to take Ginger out to dinner tomorrow

night? And we'll pay all the expenses.

Wow! That sounds great.

- Let's see what else now. - Whatever it is, I'll do it.

I'll do it!

Oh, thank you.

Tonight's "Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to you by New Ajax window cleaner

with Hex ammonia makes windows so clean you can see 100 miles.