Original subtitles

A little pause... and we are back.

A little pause... and we are back.

A little pause... and we are back.

Hello, Foxtrot, this is Turnip.

We've got one for you hot.

This is Turnip control.

Come in, Foxtrot.

Come in, Foxtrot.

Intercept is closing in, sir.

Foxtrot red and blue, this is Turnip.

This is Turnip.

Is it a Russian MiG? Repeat.

Is it a Russian MiG?

Foxtrot red and blue, close in.

This is Turnip control.

The Colonel?

Have you talked to the prisoner yet? No, sir.

Good.

I want to handle this myself for a number of reasons.

This has to be done by someone who really understands the Russian temperament.

It's a pretty big order.

Not at all.

Not when you have studied it first hand.

Do you understand English? Naturally.

What is your name?

Captain Vinker Kovalenko.

Pilot.

Would you kindly remove your helmet? A woman.

That is correct, sir.

Please sit down, Miss Kovalenko.

Captain Kovalenko.

I do not think any Colonel stands.

Sorry.

We're delighted to welcome another political refugee from behind the Iron Curtain.

I am not a political refugee.

Well, let's put it this way.

We're happy to receive an intelligent Russian

who has found the communist regime distasteful.

That is false.

What is false?

That I am opposed to communism.

It is the salvation of the world's future and the glowing dream of its inhabitants.

Captain Kovalenko, I must ask you not to beat around

the bush and explain your violation of our air boundary.

I am willing.

It is simple.

I have lost my temper.

At the communist?

No.

At the mail sacks.

Could you be a little more explicit?

I have come fast.

What more do you want?

I want some facts.

You didn't fly all the way from Russia and enter American territory just because

you're carrying a torch for some boyfriend.

What is carrying a torch?

Can I take a crack at it? Shoot.

The Colonel means that you leave Russia because some man broke your heart.

That is false.

All right.

Let's have the truth then.

I was about to take off for my new post.

Then I heard the announcement that Captain Ossip

Gunovich was promoted to a major in my squadron.

I was laughed at Captain.

This is a case of archaic anti-female discrimination.

Ossip Gunovich is entranqued.

He's crashed four planes.

He is colored blind.

He is the first flyer in my squadron.

This would not have happened if Stalin were still alive.

He was not afraid of women.

I can understand your feelings, Captain Kovalenko.

Thank you.

I would say they're a little more complex than you yourself realize.

If it is your intention to give me brainwashing, I am silent from now on.

We don't go in for brainwashing, Captain.

That's communist procedure, not ours.

I am silent.

What I mean is your loss of temper is very likely based on a number of things which

have been disturbing you and disillusioning you with communism for some time.

Your tortures will not drink and lie out of me in a thousand years.

Nobody's going to torture you for a second.

When I say you are disillusioned with communism, I'm referring to your subconscious.

A good communist has no subconscious.

That may very well be what's the matter with him.

Now, you fled your country because you were boiling

over at the injustice of your own military system.

Is that correct? I am silent.

Hello, Newt.

Say, I'm sorry to barge in like this, but you forgot to sign my lead pass.

I'd appreciate it if you'd make it a fortnight instead of a week.

Same thing, practically.

There's your catch, Chuck.

Captain Kovalenko, I want you to meet one of our most daring fliers, Captain Lockwood.

He forced you down.

How do you do?

Who's new at the Kremlin? I am silent.

If you'll just sign this like a pal, I'll be off and out of your way.

Captain Kovalenko is going to be our guest.

Hope you enjoy your stay.

Western hypocrisy.

Yes, a lot of it around.

Major Lewis will arrange quarters for you.

It may take a week to untangle the situation for American and Russian intelligence.

Colonel, Major Lewis, please, take me to my cell.

Right this way, Miss.

What do you think of that?

Women in uniform bother me.

I don't know whether to kiss them or salute.

Lieutenant Feazey reporting.

Go ahead.

Here's a rundown on Vicker Kovalenko.

A page and a half in the Kremlin who's who.

Five medals, first order, three flying records, mole at the base of the spine.

Great.

Got the picture?

I can visualize it.

Yes, yes.

One of Russia's own national heroines.

And deep down she soars a boiled owl at the commies.

Imagine what a gun that would be in our psychological warfare.

The truth about communism from one of their own heroines.

That young lady is wide open for the right sort of argument.

You can't argue with a Russian nuke.

It's like arguing with a photograph record.

I disagree with you, Chuck.

I'm assigning you to the job of softening her up.

I'd like to pitch in and help you out, Newt.

You know that.

But everything is set in London.

Now, if you'll just put your distinguished moniker right there...

I'm canceling your leave.

You wouldn't do that.

It's done.

They didn't act this way at the recruiting office.

Newt, let me give you the full picture.

Connie's folks, Lord and Lady Warburton Watts, are coming down to London to meet me.

All the way from Ruggenweed, Knock and Baron.

That's Edward the Confessor country.

They'll have to postpone that pleasure.

You want me to stand up British aristocracy to

play patty cake with a peasant? Look, Chuck.

Now is the time our country needs your talents.

This is a talk about you and I want you to get this set up.

A million dollar aristocratic bride.

And I'm not getting any younger.

This may be my last chance of true happiness.

She'll keep for a few weeks.

It doesn't hurt to tantalize them.

Tandalize and errors?

That's like not opening your parachute.

Newt, how would you like to retire in about a year and live on a big estate?

With a swimming pool, horses, yachts?

Anything you want, free.

How about that?

Are you trying to bribe me?

No, I was just inviting an old friend to visit us.

Sometime.

I want you to start on Think-A-Covilenko tonight.

Now I strike out, Newt.

There's no incentive.

Except patriotism.

Oh, let's not have any commercials in here.

We'll give it a try.

Now I want you to start the ball rolling by presenting

Captain Covilenko with this bottle of whiskey.

Then take her to dinner, and so are America.

I tried to get some vodka, but they were out of it.

Yes.

I have heard you Americans are on short rations.

Say when.

When?

Here's to world peace.

To world peace it is.

You dare to drink to death openly.

I don't think anybody heard me.

It is not as good as vodka.

But what can one expect outside of Russia?

I don't want to force you into this.

Thank you.

A hole in one gal, huh?

You are assigned to try to undo me.

Is that correct?

If you care to cooperate...

I should think they would send a taller man.

Well, maybe I'll grow on you.

You have an odd face.

It came with a body.

It's a set.

The eyes are spackled.

Only use them to see with.

Look, let's not quarrel.

We're stuck with each other.

Would you mind to say your name again? Chuck Lockwood.

Chuck?

Chuck Lockwood has a smart sound.

Whenever I'm angry, I get very thirsty.

This cool job, huh? Yes, I relax.

That's what I'm here for, you're a relaxer.

Happy anesthetic.

Little, little baby.

Why do you call me baby?

Is this an insult?

No, this is just an informal American word, meaning comrade.

Thank you.

I like you.

Baby, I will go to dinner with you.

How many times have you flown over to North Pole? Only once.

I feel if you've seen one North Pole, you've seen them all.

I've flown over to North Pole seven times.

What is the fastest you have flown?

500 miles an hour.

I have flown 750.

With or without a plane?

I'm one of the three leading Soviet woman fliers.

Maria Ilhanova is more famous than I, but I am younger.

Why don't you ask me to dance?

Well, I didn't think you went in for such minor exploits.

Yes, I love to dance.

Come, please.

Chalk!

Come!

What's your strategy, Captain?

Well, right now, I'm touring between suicide and desertion.

Chalk! Coming.

Coming.

How are you doing, Chalk?

So far, it's Clinton seven-lock with nothing at the half.

Well, good luck with it.

Yeah, may the best man win.

Keep your flaps down.

This is a short runway.

You're amazing.

That is because American women are superficial.

They're interested cheaply in nail polish and false bosoms.

Yeah, they're inclined to make mountains out of molehills.

I'm going to say, I find it hard to understand the woman

of your intelligence and sensitivity is not a communist.

You have to blame that on my environment.

I see you're one of the victims of capitalistic propaganda.

Yeah, just a pushover.

You know, baby, despite those medals, you're cute.

Soft as a bunny's ear.

Thank you, baby.

If I could bring you back to Moscow.

Thank you.

If I could bring you back to Moscow with me, as an American,

we'd prefer peace to war, freedom to bourgeois slavery.

It would be a great honor for me.

If I could persuade one American to join the fight for peace.

Yeah, well, I don't think I'm ready for that.

I understand.

Spiritual upheavals take a little time.

How long do you think?

Well, I doubt that I'll...

You want to work on me? Ideologically.

Well, Captain, I have an idea.

Please.

Well, the fact is, you see, I can't read the

right books in the barracks in front of everybody.

You mean you could be court natural? That's true.

So if you'd go to London with me for my study court... But I am a prisoner.

Yeah, well, I can fix that, you see.

I can have the Colonel parole you to me.

What excuse can you give?

I could tell him that you're eager to study the wonders

of our Western democracy with a view to embracing them.

In preference to the tyranny of communism.

Do you think the Colonel would be fooled by such a ridiculous death man?

Well, if he'll eat army food, he'll swallow anything.

There, what did I tell you, Louis?

I never gets wrong about a woman.

Round one and our rusky lady's on the ropes.

You have my permission to try deceit.

I will also be deceitful for the cause.

And then, from London, we will fly back to Moscow together.

We must bring to death, to Moscow together.

To Moscow together.

Now for the knockout.

Come on, Major.

No, no, no, please don't get up.

You're standing, Colonel.

May I join you?

Sit down, Colonel.

Please, Major.

This is a sort of official ceremony, minus the red tape, Captain Kovalenko.

May I present you with a token of esteem of our American army?

What is this?

It's a check for one hundred thousand dollars.

Texas confetti.

It is in writing.

It is not even printed.

Yes, I had it drawn up after an okay from Washington.

Our bonus to any Russian officer who escapes the Iron Curtain in his own plane.

Please, if you're going to bribe me, at least do

me the courtesy to not treating me like an idiot.

Handing me a piece of worthless paper signed by somebody called John Smith.

He's our finance officer.

That piece of paper, Captain, is a promise of money payable at any bank.

Ah, promises.

That is all the vast and bold has to be of all these promises.

Never anything real, as in Russia, not even real money.

Oh, excuse me, Vinker.

Considering our recent discussion, I think it advisable that you keep the

check, at least until you make up your mind.

Very well, Colonel.

Thanks for the check, Chuck.

You'll find Uncle Sam has a very large heart.

Remember, I want to see you later.

We'll have a talk tomorrow, Captain.

If you wish.

I will keep it as a souvenir, because you're in Moscow.

But America normally really is.

Did you really try to sell her on Golden New York?

I argued with her for an hour.

Couldn't budget.

All she kept saying was, take me to London.

In London, perhaps I'll feel like listening.

Chuck, I'm going to okay your idea.

Oh, it's not my idea, it's hers.

I'll advance you $500 against expenses.

Give her a chance to throw money away.

Oh, good thinking, Newt.

Nothing brainwashes a woman like money.

And no nonsense about cornea, folks.

I don't think I'll ever die for that.

This project requires around-the-clock concentration.

I'm glad you realize its bigness.

I've alerted the State Department.

Every eye will be on you, up to the White House.

The White House?

Hey, it must be important for them to take their eyes off the Democrats.

Good luck, Captain.

You're going to make history.

Thanks, Newt.

I'm not back in seven days.

Yes.

Send more money.

interlude Infuriated by the production of Ozip Kondovich to the rank of Major,

Captain Vrinka Kovalevko took off in her plane from the Pozhna there field at 2 P .M.

Wednesday.

That was yesterday.

That for?

That for?

P.N.

Thursday.

Captain Kovalenko left Berlin for London in an American plate

in the company of the American flying officer, Captain Lockwood.

The forcible kidnapping of a Soviet citizen.

We will demand apologies from Washington, the United Nations, the British government.

No good.

Why not?

We are not dealing with a political situation.

We are dealing with a love affair.

You have some information, Colonel Scranoff.

The London bad couple has made reservations at the Palme Hotel for separate rooms.

Separate rooms?

What kind of a love affair is that, eh?

It is a love affair in the first stage.

In the first stage?

What is that?

He is not ready.

Colonel Scranoff.

Wait.

I must change tape.

Colonel Scranoff.

Why does Vinca Kovalenko fly to London and brand herself as a deserter if he is not?

He is not ready.

A woman in love?

There are no explanations.

Only solutions.

And I suggest we send two good men to this hotel, Palma,

with proper instructions for terminating this rendezvous.

No good.

We must avoid unfavorable publicity.

Vinca Kovalenko is one of the greatest of our heroines.

Her arrest would cause the dissolution of the younger generation throughout Russia.

A true communist... A true communist is never the solution.

Please do, class.

No philosophy, please.

I myself have the solution.

Captain Kovalenko has come to London to meet her

lover who is a member of our trade delegation.

Where will we find here a lover?

Has Ivan Kropotkin arrived yet? Yes, sir.

Good.

Send him in.

We have somebody up your sleeve.

We must fight fire with fire.

You are Ivan Kropotkin? Yes, sir.

You are a major in the Corps of Engineers? Yes, sir.

You have been in large? Yes, sir.

How many times? Only once.

With whom?

Captain Vinca Kovalenko.

Magnificent.

Did Captain Kovalenko return your love?

She let me hold her hand.

That is all? Yes, sir.

I have a delicate but very important mission for you.

I am ready, sir.

First of all, you must have a shave.

Follow me.

I'll take you to meet the upper echelon, but I don't think it's advisable.

I understand.

It'll be about 20 minutes.

I'll hurry.

Don't worry.

I've waited longer on duty.

Captain Lockwood, Connie is so glad you could come over from the hotel.

I'm Tony Mallard, her cousin.

Oh, how are you?

How are you?

I heard a whole lot of news.

A lot of nice things about you.

Well, I'll try and live it down.

Connie will be here in a few minutes.

Oh, good.

Would she have the marriage license application with her?

She asked me to give it to you.

Would you like to read it over?

I don't want to rewrite it.

I just want to sign it.

I don't want to even check the small print.

I'll do what I can to hurry her along.

Thank you very much.

Darling, I wasn't expecting you.

Was it tonight?

Well, according to the days I checked off on my calendar.

Oh, sweet.

What are we going to do about Hamlet?

Why, is he giving you trouble, too?

We were going to the theater.

It's a special charity performance.

Tony, would you mind if Charles went in your place?

That's a good idea.

Well, I'm afraid I can't.

My colonel's waiting for me.

Well, can't you phone him?

Well, there are a couple of generals and an admiral.

It's an important powwow.

I just dropped in to say hi.

Good day, Captain.

I am.

Won't be needing you anymore.

Okay.

See you at the North Pole.

If I go there again, I shall ask for you.

Good night, little brother.

That man looks like a spy.

Watch him.

Find the address of the Freeville Bookshop.

They'll go there first thing in the morning.

Check.

Well, you wait here.

In the brass section.

In the vat? Skip it.

Good evening.

Good evening, sir.

You may proceed.

Yes, sir.

Hello, Vinker.

Are you surprised to see me?

Yes.

I am in London for the Soviet purchasing agency.

You were always basically a tradesman.

How time flies.

As we grow older.

Not you.

You are going to start up again.

The reason I was undressed was she was taking my picture.

Why should you take your picture undressed?

For medical research.

My spine is in a unique position.

You're welcome to pose for whomever you wish.

Olga, you hubeats means nothing to me any longer.

To me either.

You are good.

A fat blonde with a face like a pillow.

I am nothing but contempt for you and for her.

More for you.

I despise DC.

You despise me.

Yes.

Now I feel at home again.

Mama has said to me a hundred times there is Vinker.

And I have replied each time she is in my heart.

Yes, I know.

In company with Olga, you hubeats vegia to labovlana kranzmerk.

In your heart, there is only standing room.

Your face reminds me how vile even a Russian can be.

You have given me new hope.

It's all set.

The bags are upstairs.

I am stopping in the hotel.

I will see you again.

Et in no kud, this is Major Ivan Kropokin, an ex-friend.

How do you...

I'm going to ask you a question about the United

States of America, please to answer truthfully.

I'll do my best.

What is the percentage of starvation among the American workers?

That's a stumper.

I've heard of Americans dropping debt from thirst, but not from hunger.

You see, they keep the facts from you.

In 1954, 28% of the mortality among the American workers was caused by starvation.

Imagine.

This does not include babies that died from lack of milk.

Brother revealed the full text a month ago.

What was the name of that pamphlet again?

The Hundred Lies of Capitalism.

There's a snappy title.

What is the percentage of illegitimate children born in the United States?

I should know that.

I'm very good at batting averages.

Twenty-seven percent.

During the four years it was worse.

One American child in three has no father.

We couldn't get cigarettes either.

Say, how about a drink?

Tell me, frankly.

Have I made any impression on you? Maybe.

Tremendous.

In what way? Your sincerity.

What else?

The way you hold your liquor.

That is all.

Your brain.

So help me, I've never met a woman with a brain like yours.

Thank you.

And it's such a beautiful head, too.

I kissed you as a soldier.

What is wrong?

I'm not used to kissing soldiers.

Leave her go to bed now.

We will?

Yes.

Good night.

Good night.

He will resume in the morning.

Okay, teacher.

What time is class?

At dawn they must waste no time.

Good night.

Sleep well.

I will.

You are going to bed? Guess so.

Is death door locked? Usually is.

Then you'd better go this way.

See you in the morning.

Yes.

Excuse me.

Yes?

You have your key.

Oh, yes, right here.

Ah, good.

I must go home.

Good night.

Allow me, sir.

Thank you.

Ah!

I thought maybe you could use these if you get cold.

Ah, thank you.

Some slippers.

Thank you.

And a toothbrush.

No, please, I use a wash rag.

Ah, but I will try the toothbrush as an experiment.

I'm grateful.

Good night.

See you in the morning.

Early.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Hello there.

I always read before I fall asleep.

I'm the same way.

I thought so.

It is called the principle of spiral economics.

Oh.

It is a little deep, but if you read it twice, it becomes clearer.

Sounds like fun.

You got something to read? Ah, yes, yes.

I have my criminology.

Good night.

Good night.

If there is anything you do not understand, you can ask me in the morning.

I imagine I'll have a lot of questions.

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Coming, coming.

Hello, baby.

Maybe.

This is quite a surprise I wasn't expecting you.

No.

Or you.

How was Hamlet?

Very interesting.

Really?

But apparently you prefer the Russian ballet, don't you?

Need a ballet?

A bunch of devices leaping around in long underwear?

No.

Well, we met a friend of Colin's at the theater tonight, a fellow called Bill Brandon.

He's with MI.

You know military intelligence?

Yes.

He was telling us about you bringing your Russian ballerina to London with you.

Excuse me, madam.

What do you wish?

This is the key to the door inside.

What door inside?

The door to the adjoining chambers.

Ah, thank you.

That will be more convenient.

Truth is, I'm on a secret mission.

And you know that I... I... I... You're not listening.

I'm on a secret military mission.

And this Russian girl's official business.

I imagine it involves a few secret non -military conferences as well.

Connie, that's not fair.

It's not worthy of you.

After all, I'm just trying to serve my country.

Well, why didn't you tell me?

Well, I didn't want to make you late for Hamlet.

I like the plot of this one better.

We don't have the massacre at the end.

And just what is your official business with her?

I'm just trying to swing her over to our side.

You know, teach her democracy.

But you know how these Russians are.

They're always yelling about something.

And they're stir crazy.

They hit people on the outside.

They think freedom is for the birds.

What's she like?

And you can't get anywhere with them.

You have to just argue them.

I asked you a question.

What's she like?

Oh, you mean personally.

Oh, well, you don't have to worry about Vinka that way.

She's just an all-around square and boots and pants.

She's always bundled up like an Eskimo.

She's a human ice cube.

She's 98% Russian and 2% female.

You know that I... I would like if you would get...

Oh, I'm sorry to intrude.

I guess I was wrong with the percentages.

Captain Kablanko, may I present Lady Warburton Watts? Thank you.

And Mr.

Melton.

Thank you.

How do you do, Captain?

Well, oh, how's Ivan?

Have you heard from him lately?

No.

Fine-looking chap, Ivan.

Do you sleep in those?

What are they?

Good kind of medals?

No.

Breaking the Sunberry of 1953.

First zonal flight over the North Pole, 1954.

Yes, that's the captain's chief interest, the North Pole.

Oh, the captain must find it rather a droughty one.

It's nice to know that you're still wearing the pants.

I've come to ask if you could give me your laundry to Vash.

I am working in the bathroom.

The hotel takes care of that.

I'm much better.

Yes, but I only have one dirty shirt, and... Thank you.

Oh, dress later, please.

Good night.

Good night.

Well, drink up.

Well, Connie, come now.

You can't be jealous of a laundress who hangs around the North Pole.

Something that was basking us through the ringer all day?

Yes, she hardly has time for anything else.

I can understand you being upset by what this guy Brandon said.

I feel the same way, but it's not true.

We must hurry the wedding along as fast as we can.

Oh, great.

You must say if there's anyone you'd like to ask.

Yes, I'll try and think of someone.

You try.

Oh, darling.

I trust you not to get any soap in your eyes.

Good night.

Those medals must be inconvenient at certain moments.

Yes.

Can.

Can.

Say, could you tell us the way to 223 Curzon Place, the New World Bookstore?

Yes, sir.

Straight through Curzon, OK, and it's the second on the right.

Should we take a taxi?

No, it is a beautiful day.

I prefer to walk.

Do you think decoration of that type is important to sex?

I don't mind a little frosting.

I'm opposed to it.

A woman should attract a man with her personality, not with ribbons,

don't you think?

Well, it all depends what the ribbons are tied to.

Feudal symbols are built, torn from the masses.

That is all they are.

Well, all depends what the ribbons are tied to.

How much does it say that one costs?

The pink one?

No, the black lace.

Oh, very neat.

I'll go in and ask.

No, no, come.

Why are you smiling?

I was just thinking how nice you'd look in the black lace.

I am not in mourning.

What, a spring?

Don't Russians react to spring?

Yes.

We are happy to know that wheat has begun to grow,

and that earth is resumed under northern dams.

Siberian the spring, must be a million ladders.

Yes.

Well, they're on the subject.

Would you care to tell me who she was?

What do you mean?

Last night, the pale woman in the naked dress.

Lady Warbird once.

That is her name, but what is her significance?

Oh, just a London capitalist.

I was under the impression that you and she were lovers.

Oh, not my type, baby.

Too naked.

No, I don't mind that.

It's not enough fire.

I understand.

The reason I ask is, she reminds me of a woman I once knew, old guy, Yahupitz.

Forgive me for insulting you with my suspicions.

I'll be large about it.

It is like an oasis in the beats of a desert.

I have my least.

You had better wait outside.

I could get arrested just for looking in the window.

Senator Harley, I assure you, you'll not regret passing up

the Geneva Conference in favor of this propaganda project.

Sir, I've always been happy to turn down a peace conference.

My record's clean as a whistle on that score.

This Vinka Kovalenko will do more to undermine communism than 40 peace conferences.

Uh -oh.

Ah, your Colonel, he is pursuing costs.

Too late.

He spotted us.

Act unconcerned.

Don't worry.

I have a chance.

I'll have a diploma and count for espionage.

You'll get in trouble.

Swallow these.

Well, well, how are you?

Colonel Tarbell.

Excellent.

Thank you.

Colonel, just thought I'd look in and see how things were going.

Well, how is our student doing?

I am very much impressed with Sugar Ray Robinson and the Boston Tea Party.

I'm trying to keep the lessons interesting.

Well, that's a good start.

Books, eh?

What did you get?

Oh, things with dates like Columbus's Landing, Mohawk Uprising, stuff like that.

Excellent, excellent.

No, no, excuse me.

I taught her about private property.

A man's book is a castle.

Yes, he's castle.

I see.

Oh, Senator Hawley's with me, Chuck.

He just plained in from Washington.

He's going to spearhead our little thinker campaign for us.

What is that?

That's one of our more courageous investigators.

It works without a coonskin cap.

I think we ought to arrange a party for tonight

to present Captain Kovalenko to the Senator.

Shall we say eight o'clock?

And in your honor, we'll have it at the Russian bear.

What is that, a restaurant?

Yeah, very swanky too.

It's a little rich, isn't it, Newt?

Couldn't we gather in a friendlier sewer?

No, no, I will be there, eight o'clock.

I must go to my room and starty.

Good girl.

Colonel, excuse me, baby.

Major Lewis.

No, not Lockwood Lewis.

He's a bit busy right now.

Can I help you out?

I forgot to ask Captain Lockwood where we're having dinner tonight.

The Russian bear, eight o'clock.

Not at all.

Goodbye, sir.

Good day.

Can I help you? Thank you.

I would like to buy something.

Something in leisure here?

The bond with the black lace.

A negligee, perhaps?

A negligee is long.

What to the floor, usually?

The black lace is to here, from here.

It was in the window.

The clear paltron song.

Black lace with true, true trimmings and threaded through with scarlet baby ribbon.

May I see it, please? But of course.

Won't you sit down? Thank you.

Could you see yourself in blue?

I've got just the thing.

I want the black lace.

But you're so right.

Much more your style.

It's you.

I am buying it.

How much does it cost? Thirty pounds.

Thank you.

Will you take it with you? Yes, please.

Will there be anything else, Miss?

Captain Kableenko.

We have some lovely red garters, Captain.

No.

Your weaker bra.

What is that?

It is for swimming.

It can be worn in the water.

You wear it in front or in back? In front.

You are fooling me.

It is not for swimming.

It is a false bosom.

Bra for short.

So that is the way it is done.

The illusions of democracy.

Who does your hair?

I can't understand Vic at being late unless she took the polar route.

Only twenty minutes.

Nothing to worry about.

All women like to dawdle before a party.

Dawdle?

All she has to do is polish her boots.

Maybe she ran out on it.

Personally, I would never trust a Russian further than I could flor.

Of course.

They are all spies.

Careful, Senator.

You can get a Mickey in your backpack.

I'll call you.

Okay.

I don't see the sense, sir, of dragging a spy into our midst by me.

False.

Would the gentleman wish to have some vodka?

Yes.

Certainly not, sir.

Burden.

I didn't know there were so many communists in London.

I'm sure they are harmless.

Burden, you are Captain Lockwood.

No, but Captain Lockwood will be back in a minute.

Oh, can I be of service?

Yeah, Captain Lockwood's guests.

It's all right, honey.

I'll go and look for him.

Honey, let me look for him.

Are you people Russian?

Oh, that's all right, Senator.

They don't need to be screened.

Be right back.

Would you like to sit over here, sir?

Lockwood, you've just lied your way into a court martial.

There's been some kind of a slip-up, Newt.

You lied to me.

I wouldn't lie to you.

You're too smart a psychologist, huh?

We've got to pull together in this.

What do you mean?

We don't want to give the Senator any excuse for an investigation.

I would like to know, sir, if your English customer driving

on the left side of the street has any political significance.

Or is it just part of your natural cussiness?

Well, well, this is a fun group.

I'm so glad you came.

We're here on an important mission.

The Senator, explain.

Yes, sir.

I invited a little lady to join our team.

We're all eager to help civilize your barefoot laundress.

Hey, Vinca.

Well, you didn't tell me your middle name was Cinderella Vich.

Well, every well-dressed pilot should wear it.

My dear... How do you do?

I apologize for being late.

Not at all.

May I present Lady Constance... We have not, except that man.

Captain Constance.

Mr. Valenco, send it to Holly of Alabama.

I have had a great deal about Robert E.

Lee.

He was a fine revolutionary.

May I say, ma'am, that my opinion of Russians has

increased immeasurably over the last 20 seconds.

Will you have a drink, Baker?

Yes, I would like a pitcher.

Half champagne, half vodka.

Waiter, two pitchers.

Half champagne, half vodka, and water wings for everybody.

We call them Moscow minuets.

Good for you.

And where did you find the fairy godmother, Captain?

There were a number of them.

They worked very hard.

Feel that, dear sir.

It affects me very much.

I'm sorry we could not startle together this afternoon.

Everything took so long.

The hands, the hair, the stockings, the shoes.

Finally, I went back and I bought the red garters.

Don't tell me you're wearing red garters.

Oh, yes.

They're very attractive.

They go very well with the black lace.

Do take us on a tour, Mr. Valenco.

I'll buy a ticket for that.

You disapprove of something?

Lady Warburton?

What? Oh, dear no.

I've always admired the Soviet technique.

Thank you.

Shall we have a dance, sir?

Baby, don't call me baby.

I would like to dance, baby.

Senator is going to be terrific.

What a dancing.

No, her embracing democracy.

She seems rather good at it.

Do you see?

See what?

How she looks at me.

She's laughing at me with those greedy bulge eyes.

Why she's laughing?

You're mad, baby.

Nobody's laughing at you.

Because I look peculiar.

You look beautiful.

I'm too skinny on the top.

That's the style this season.

My fingers are too big.

We'll shrink them.

I feel like a box of paper flowers.

She has a right to laugh at me.

Cut it out, will you? You're a smash.

A smash?

What is that?

Well, that's like baby, only with a bikini.

Thank you, smash.

I'm glad that you admire me, if it is true.

If what is true?

That you admire me.

Absolutely.

That is good.

I've dressed up, only for your sake.

I wanted you to know that then you come to Moscow with me.

You will not be turning your back on sex and feminine beauty.

We have them both.

Ah, they make a great team.

Senator, the reason that we drive on the left is in order that the coachman may

have his pistol hand free in case of attack from highwaymen.

Can you tell me the theory behind the iron law of ages, baby?

Let's save that up for when we're alone, huh?

She has gone over?

What do you think? Correct.

A traitor.

Her eyes, we are losing ground at every minute.

Good evening.

She is still here.

He is dancing.

I am wearing her favorite flower, the blue bachelor.

She will appreciate.

We have to have the next dance with her.

We have arranged for a waltz.

I am unable to waltz.

We will arrange for a polka.

It is the same with the polka.

I am unable.

At which dance are you proficient?

Colonel Scranoff, I was trained as an engineer.

No dancing.

And in the seal and the credit.

They are rubbing cheeks.

That is chemistry.

Am I under arrest?

Me and you can't go away.

It must be stopped.

She is a Soviet citizen.

She is entitled to be seized by the party.

Yes, she has that privilege.

That is why I have sent for group 9.

The full group?

As you see, the full group.

Group 9 reporting.

I took the liberty of including Shutsi Yawa, the judo sleep maker.

I am honored.

What assistance can you give?

There are three blows.

The bright star with a fist, elbow or knee on top of the head to our sleep.

The sun and the moon with a side of the hand at the root of the eyebrow.

Four hours sleep.

The heavily touched with a knee one inch and a half below the navel.

Eternity.

They are returning to the table.

Maria, you will take over the panel room.

Yes, Colonel.

You will dress as a waiter.

Igor will change places with the doorkeeper in case you need assistance outside.

Sir, I want to go to the door of the room and push him.

Maria will silence her, pass her through the window.

The car will be waiting outside with the engine running.

We have no class distinction in our army.

Now take a man like Chuck Lockwood here.

I am Vinnick.

And I say this as his friend.

An absolute plopper.

Not a penny to his name, yet he is just as highly regarded as if he were a millionaire.

Why should anyone highly regard a millionaire?

Quick!

Sanitor!

Where can I prove this?

It shall be safe.

Take it to the powder room.

Where is that?

That door over there.

Thank you.

Vinca!

I want to speak to you, Charles.

Oh, I'll take it, baby.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, pardon me.

Oh, that's all right.

What's wrong, kid?

That man, he's following me.

What man, where? That one.

Oh, please.

I'm so frightened.

Well, let me help you to your seat.

In there.

Steady girl.

You Americans are so wonderful and so strong.

Everywhere where there is distress, there is an American.

Well, it's our Boy Scout training.

We specialize in old ladies, but I'm happy to make an exception.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, wait a minute.

Hold on.

You need a drink.

A brandy and soda for the lady right away.

I'll be in.

Fasten your safety belt, honey.

I beseech you.

Oh, please stay with me for one moment.

If he sees you, perhaps he will go away.

Okay, but I can't stay long.

Say double that order, huh? Yes, sir.

I'm not afraid anymore.

Make mine a little on the strong side.

Yes, sir.

Oh, I like you.

I am Titiana.

Oh, that's a nice nickname.

All I want to do is to forget for a moment.

Yeah, well, just drink up and forget.

Come, we drink to each other.

How you say, up, buttons?

Yeah, let's just drink.

Captain Lockwood.

Hi, Newt.

You've deserted your post, Captain.

Yeah, I was just... I'll relieve you here.

Oh, sure, Newt.

Titiana, I want you to meet Colonel Chicken.

You'll see that you're okay.

How do you do, Fraulein?

We colonels don't get much chance to meet many women as beautiful as you.

Ah, the old snow job.

Okay, Captain.

That moves.

Sure, Newt.

Drink up.

I'll leave a light burning for you at the clinic.

Oh, I'm not coming in.

I know my place.

Here's to your big blue eyes, little lady.

Oh, eh.

Ah, reinforcements.

In these, please.

Sir, we're back to the demitas.

To Captain Vinca Cavallenco and a better tomorrow.

To Captain Jochen.

The clock will be any better tonight.

Go to her.

Tell her she is wanted on the telephone.

Maria will see her as she goes past the padour.

Pardon me, Captain Cavallenco.

You are wanted at the telephone.

Who wants me? I'm sorry.

He did not give a name.

He said it was important.

He was crying.

Ah, it is Ivan.

He's so unhappy.

I will talk to him.

It's the telephone box over here, please.

Thank you.

You are a Ukrainian.

Yes, ma'am.

I could tell from your understanding.

Thank you, ma'am.

Can't be new.

Thank you.

Where?

You are my guest.

Come.

You must have a drink.

Sit down.

Be happy.

Meet no friend?

Yes.

All human beings are old friends.

Come over here.

I want to talk to you.

That man on the telephone.

He will spoil my mood.

Smash.

You will talk to Ivan for me.

All right.

But he's not my type.

Thank you.

Hold.

Go to her.

Ask her to dance.

Push her into the powder room as you pass the door.

Notify Maria to leave open the little door of the powder room.

Gentlemen, forgive me, please.

But I recognize one of my country's heroines.

Captain Winkakovoyenko, may I have the honor of drinking your head?

You may have that honor.

Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Winkakovoyenko, the queen of the skies.

But a wonderful evening.

Russians, Russians everywhere.

May I have the honor of dancing with you this time?

Yes, it is a Russian song.

Come on.

What you need, sir, is a little lip.

Wait, a drink for my friend.

There's nobody on the wire.

I'm coming.

Good night, Beck.

Hey, kiddo, I want you to bear out a claim that I'm going

to make on behalf of the sovereign state of Alabama.

I didn't get that kiddo.

It's the first time he's made sense in yours.

Visibility, zero.

His head just closed in.

What happened to him? I don't know.

I left him with a girl.

He must have blown a fuse.

It looks a bit under the weather.

I'd better get him home.

Give me a hand, Captain.

Tell Winkakovoyenko, I'll be back as soon as I call a hearse.

You been drinking ether?

We're making a delivery.

Please, stop.

I won't do that.

I'm going to talk to the dead man.

Next time, stop.

And I say stop.

He's really gone.

Sort of a test pilot for Seagrams.

Is the Colonel leaving?

He's taking off any minute.

Good night, Colonel.

I've had a bond, I believe.

He seems to be unconscious.

It's hard to tell.

How to get a Texakab.

That's it.

Please stay.

The Texakab is waiting.

Let's go, then.

Just a minute.

How about a two-year furlough, Colonel?

Your witnesses say you're having fun? Yes, and you.

Oh, it's a great party.

Got an atmosphere of real friendship.

Yes.

Come on.

Be right back.

Hey.

Hey, Colonel.

I'll get him the next time around.

Here we go.

No dancing in the hotel room.

Remember that.

Okay, driver.

Right to the waxworks, huh? Good luck.

Hey, hey!

Hey, wait a minute!

You forgot your bundle.

Here.

There you are.

Sit on his lap.

Will you... dance with me? Come on.

Who you is?

What's your problem?

What?

What?

Are you looking for trouble, the trek?

Huh?

I may lay this on you right now.

You termite.

Don't piss me up.

Pull the cork out of your head.

Dog-nosed!

Dog-nosed?

Oh, you got a little Crosby blood in you, huh?

Hell, I'll spell a little for you.

Right now.

Move.

Listen to the music.

I am listening.

Count.

One, two, three.

Move!

Breaking that face in for Halloween.

You might as well take two.

Yeah, I don't know whether they hit you.

Don't try and get away.

Just sign your death certificate.

Hey, you're back in my cigarette case.

Should you leave a call? Thank you.

Have that press for me.

Yes, sir.

I'm coming in, the ginsky.

This way, baby.

One more drink and we'll also... Through the streets.

Hey, we'd like something with a kick in it.

Hmm?

Not for me, please.

Ben, I'm so happy I'm not very thirsty.

Get your wrap.

We're going home.

Right away.

Right away.

She's going for her wraps in a minute.

Notify Maria in the powder room to pass her through the

little window into the alleyway with the mouth taped.

Get the car into the alleyway with the engine running quickly.

I want to leave.

I don't want to speak to him again.

You may have misheard, Connie.

No.

He's a bankrupt and a bore.

And loves another.

Do you mind if we finish our drinks?

Aah!

Aah!

Let me go!

No!

Aah!

Aah!

Let me go!

No drinks, huh?

I certainly earned this.

Here you go.

Here you go.

I got it.

I'm ready.

Lovely, soft eyes.

Ironlawn.

Big blue hands.

A coon.

I'm going to tell the truth in the wheat fields.

My baby smiles at me.

It's 4th of July.

Boom.

Red square.

Despair of the west, that's me.

Sir, what if the coachman is left-handed? Chock seat up.

Please.

Good boy and seat up.

I am only doing what I would expect you to do for me.

Not that.

No.

Please.

Please, chock.

Progress.

Progress.

There you go.

Much happier.

Please.

You're taking the time, aren't you?

A very nice evening.

Here you are.

There you go.

Nice day today.

Thank you, baby.

Wow.

I've had a nice evening.

Then they were dancing.

I felt I've known you very long.

And I was happy in a personal day.

I've never felt happiness in a personal day before.

Yes.

I've had bad thoughts, too.

But with so much vodka, it is really easy.

I've even thought that some day we will go and live in India-Nepales, Indiana.

I love that thing.

India-Nepales, Indiana.

A world is wanting to be believed to come there.

I would find a man in whom I could trust with all my...

Oh, thank you.

Dear Lord Warburton-Watt, I offer you herewith my sincere apologizes for any

inconvenience suffered by your beautiful daughter Constance owing to an unavoidable

tactical error on the part of one of my staff.

I am returning her with special escort and hope that the

friendship between our two great nations has not... Cheers.

Don't bother me.

I'm returning her.

No, no, no, no, no.

The other one, Kovalenko from the hotel.

You were there?

Guarding every point except the fire escape.

He has no instructions regarding the fire escape.

We have alerted all contacts.

Go at once to the hotel and collect all her belongings.

Alert Group 11.

The full group?

The full group, Captain Kovalenko, must be followed and silenced.

Thank you.

And, you know, spirit on straight from my dining suit into my working suit,

I have not been to bed.

What do you want?

I would like to see Colonel Sklar not head of the NBD.

And I have not had breakfast?

I would like to see Colonel Sklar not head of the NBD.

It is the same one again.

You have to have an appointment.

What is this?

We have arrested her.

Why did you not say who you are?

Everybody upstairs and I will announce you.

Sklar!

March!

The NBD's special corps is in session.

Lock for the brats and consult with your client.

As your counsel, I would suggest our best course is full and open confession to the court.

Of what? Your treason.

I have no treason to confess.

If you wish, I will enter a plea of insanity.

It may save your life.

I am not insane.

That is a very broad statement.

Enough of this consultation.

What is the prisoner's plea? Not guilty.

My client, please, will take contemporary persona at Patreon.

But he's dead.

Not guilty.

The prisoner will step forward.

You are Vinka Kovalenko of the Soviet Air Force? Correct.

When did you first decide to betray the Communist party?

Since I joined the Communist party at the age of

eleven, I've never had any Communist thought in my head.

Last Wednesday, the prisoner deserted the Soviet Air Forces, stole a Soviet plane,

and escaped to the American zone to meet her American lover.

True or untrue? Not true.

I ask permission from my client to elucidate him.

The reference to my American lover is false.

I have no American lover.

You do not know an American officer named Captain Charles Lockwood? I know him.

And I despise him.

You were locked in his arms, dancing for three

hours last night and swooning on his shoulder.

True or not true? I despise him.

That's enough, Kovalenko.

If it pleases the court, my client is not yet finished.

I assure you, your client is finished.

The court has incontrovertible evidence of her treason.

This man, Captain Lockwood!

Quiet! If you please.

She is bearing her soul.

I hold in my hand a check taken from Vinca Kovalenko's wallet.

It is made out in her name.

It is for one hundred thousand dollars and signed

by an American army officer named John Smith.

There is also a photograph of her with her American lover.

One hundred thousand dollars.

It is a worthless piece of paper.

I was keeping it as a souvenir.

It is the price of your treason to the Soviets.

That is a lie.

In return for this money you are going on a speaking tour of the Western world,

telling lies about your own country.

That is a preposterous statement.

Perhaps you may consider my next statement less preposterous.

As the presiding judges of the special M.V .D.

court, we find the prisoner guilty of treason to the Soviet Union.

And sentence up to death.

This sentence to be carried out in Moscow within the next twenty-four hours.

We have lost.

The prisoner will be permitted to make a statement.

I have only this statement to make.

If this is Soviet justice...

I am silent.

Incompetence, Captain Lockwood.

You are lonely, fellas.

You gimlet brain.

I was sly.

Sir, we have just been informed that Vinka Kovalenko was arrested early this morning

by the Soviet secret police and tried for treason by a military court.

And what was the verdict?

She was found guilty, sir.

But that's a death penalty.

They're sunk.

Yeah, and it's all my fault.

The State Department is going to hold me responsible for this fiasco.

No one cares about the State Department.

I did it.

I killed her.

I'm a murderer.

I've sent an innocent human being to her desk.

Sir, my political career is hanging by a thread.

Look, we've all got to take our medicine, Senator.

We didn't stand a chance, Colonel.

They had Vinka covered the minute she hit London.

One of the judges, the court marshal, had the suite next to hers.

Major Ivan Kropotkin.

Forty-five cents out of every tax dollar paid for the people

of Alabama goes to the maintenance of our armed forces.

And this, sir, is the sort of bungling we get for our money.

Is this guy Kropotkin still in this room?

Yeah, they told me downstairs he just came in.

Kropotkin?

Be quiet for once, Senator.

Now, we may be able to get a line on this, Vinka, if we play our cards right.

Come on.

Major Ivan Kropotkin?

Yes.

Captain Lockwood, U.S.

Air Force.

May I come in?

I am leaving now.

Just give me five minutes.

That's all I ask.

Just five minutes.

I can prove Vinka Kovalenko is innocent.

It is too late.

You sentenced her to death?

Hey, wait a minute.

This is the trick I learned in high school.

Listen through those.

Why did you do it, comrade?

Hey, it still works.

She wasn't guilty of anything.

She was working for you all the time.

For us?

Yes, undercover.

Converting me to communism.

That's why she came to London.

To convert me.

We told my lousy, capitalistic Colonel a pack of lies.

You have betrayed your Colonel.

Betrayed him.

Made a monkey out of him.

And the State Department, too.

That's all she's guilty of.

Converting me to communism.

Yes, and she reformed me.

She made me see the truth about communism.

The hundred lies of capitalism.

I know them by heart.

One American child out of three has no father.

It's awful.

Even McCoffee wouldn't believe this.

I am always pleased to meet a fellow traveler.

Yes, but I'm not a fellow traveler.

I'm a red a hundred percent and she did it.

Comrade.

You have made me very happy.

You will be a monument to her memory.

You will take Vinca's place in the fight for communism.

Goodbye.

Wait a minute.

Vinca, you're going to give her a retrial.

No, comrade.

Nothing can change Soviet justice.

Vinca will be taken from the trade mission to

the airport this morning and returned to Moscow.

For the triumph of justice.

Yeah, but wait a minute.

Hang on.

Stay right where you are.

Yeah, but I've got to talk with him.

Oh, that's all right.

Oh, you're kidding.

Hey!

Don't move!

Don't move!

Don't move!

Hey!

Oh, Captain Charles Lockwood is out of the U.S.

Air Force to see Colonel Scarnoff.

Do you have an appointment?

Just tell Colonel Scarnoff that Captain Lockwood is here to see him.

Not an appointment?

Outside, please.

Now, one moment, madam.

Outside? Just a minute.

I demand to see your superior officers at once.

Not alone.

Now, you're not going to stop me outside.

All right, what kind of stuff? Just a minute.

I don't want to hurt you, madam.

Oh, this will be a lesson to you.

Where's the referee?

Colonel?

Colonel Scarnoff!

And you know this man, Maria?

No.

Captain Lockwood.

Captain in the Air Force, Charles Lockwood.

You... Yeah, how do you do?

How'd you do?

Maria, allow the gentleman three feet.

Time.

You wouldn't do this if I was wearing glasses.

Can I do something for you, Captain?

I want to see Colonel Scarnoff.

This way, if you'd be here.

And I want a return match.

Please do sit down, Captain.

Thank you.

Colonel Scarnoff?

I'm here on behalf of the United States Air Force.

I have a message for him.

And I'd love to meet with you.

Colonel Scarnoff? I'm of the U.

S.

Air Force Headquarters Washington, D.C.

And I'm on a very important mission here.

Colonel Scarnoff?

I'd like to see him because otherwise it'll be a

terrible strain in the international situation.

And that's the man, Colonel Scarnoff.

I am Colonel Scarnoff.

Hi, Colonel.

I'd like to talk to you.

If we could...

Could we go somewhere alone?

We will not listen.

You may proceed.

We are alone.

They're not listening?

No.

Oh, thanks, because this is confidential and I wouldn't want...

Anyway, here's the official picture.

You see, I've been officially delegated by my commanding officer, Colonel.

I'm terrible to request the immediate return of our prisoner, Captain Vinca

Kavalenko, who was forcibly taken from American custody.

Captain Kavalenko, you may not know, has violated American territorial boundaries.

That's Kavalenko Vinca arrested May the 2nd by Captain Lockwood Charles.

Violation Chapter 4, Clause 3, I do hereby pledge...

Special broadcast by American military headquarters, Colonel.

Colonel, on behalf of the United States Air Force and my commanding officer,

Colonel Newton Tarbell.

This is Colonel Newton Tarbell.

Commanding officer, United States Air Force.

We request your help in the apprehension of an escaped prisoner.

An officer by the name of Captain Charles Lockwood.

He is five foot eleven inches tall, brown hair, weighs a hundred and eighty pounds.

The man is desperate and he has an upturned nose.

Get me Colonel Tarbell on the telephone.

Look, there's not a word of truth in that statement.

It's pure libel.

Captain Lockwood, your stupidity is only exceeded by that of your paramor

Kavalenko, who is being taken to Vasco to be shot as a traitor.

No, that's... Excuse, please.

Colonel Tarbell on the telephone.

I'll talk to him.

I thought you weren't listening.

Colonel Tarbell, or let's clown off.

We have here in custody Captain Charles Lockwood at the Russian trade delegation.

What disposal do you wish made of you?

Look, I'm not important.

Vinca's the important one.

That's what I want to talk to you about.

Very good.

It will be done.

Take this American down to the downstairs waiting room.

Hold it there until the American police arrive.

Bring in the other police.

Just give me three minutes, will you?

I don't think it's innocent.

She's absolutely crazy red.

Just... You have your orders.

Give me just a little... Oh, don't give me that.

I'll take it higher up.

I'll take it to the United Nations.

There must be some sane country in this world.

You can't only get you guys outside.

Our plane has arrived at the airport.

Take her to the car.

I would like permission, Colonel Splarnoff, to wear my hat through the streets.

Of course you'd be wearing your hat.

You're still on foreign side.

Thank you.

We leave in ten minutes.

There.

Nice waiting room.

No magazines.

You are American officer.

Captain.

Hm.

Hm.

Burton's.

How are things in the American army?

Charles Lockwood, Captain of the Air Force.

Serial number 46712.

Sumpson.

Colonel, how long in obituary do you wish to release on Vinca Kovalenko? Not too long.

Do you object to calling her the Soviet Princess of Disguise?

Princess is not a nice word.

Of course.

Forgive me.

Of course it's pretty hard to get into the American army

unless you know somebody high up, but I can fix it for you.

Free will cost you a cent.

There happens to be a couple of openings right at the moment.

I have a cousin in the Brooklyn army.

No.

One of our crack regiments.

A year old Paskinowski.

Not Al Paskey.

You know him?

One of our most popular officers at Ebbets Field.

He is officer?

At all, he was private.

How long ago was it? Two months.

Well, it takes about two months to become a captain, four months a colonel.

After that, you slow down a bit.

You know, politics.

We have in Russia also.

No.

How much pay a soldier got?

To start with?

A hundred dollars a week for a beginner.

A million dollars?

That's the only kind we use.

After a month, fifty more.

But look, we're wasting time.

A few fellows insist here about joining up.

We are sincere.

We are sincere.

I'll put you in right away.

You can do.

Yes, I'm a military induction officer for our London officers.

That's how I got into this little trouble.

They accuse me of accepting a $5,000 bribe from

a guy at Poughkeepsie they wanted to join up.

But I'll prove my innocence as soon as I get out.

Do you solemnly swear to abide by the regulations of the

Army of the United States and serve it in peace and in war?

We do not like to fight Russia.

Well, maybe that won't be necessary.

I'll put in a clause.

We swear.

We swear.

You promise to obey the commands of your superior

officers without questions at all times? We promise.

I now pronounce you soldier's first class of the USA.

That is good.

Wait until my cousin in Brooklyn here.

Attention! The key.

About face.

Spread.

All right.

Hup!

Hup!

Hup!

Hup!

Colonel Strano and party, we are expected.

Very good, sir.

Gate line.

Wait here.

Don't move.

Say nothing.

I'll be back with a couple of American uniforms.

You don't object to cashmere, do you?

We appreciate it.

Thank you.

Brooklyn.

How'd you do?

I'm with the Russian party.

Your name, sir.

Sir Neville Cricklewood.

Diplomatic attaché to the Russian delegation.

Full tenor potentiary powers.

Secret papers.

Ah, no peaking.

Very good, sir.

The Foreign Office will pick up the car.

Our Lord Throckmark, tall man, red hair, very reserved, wears a frosted monocle.

Very good, sir.

Gate nine.

Thank you.

I do hope the aircraft's on schedule.

Otherwise, I shall be in a tiz.

As if done.

No, Ovech.

No.

Where?

I demand my rights as a Soviet officer.

What rights?

I've a sentence to be executed in Moscow by a military firing squad.

Not in midair by a bounding pilot.

I do not give in myself replying to an enemy of the people.

Where?

We are still on foreign soil.

We will take off immediately.

I must clear my flight papers, Colonel.

Then don't go pilot.

There is no co-pilot.

I will return immediately.

Oh, pardon me.

May I be of any help to you?

Where do I go to clear my flight papers, please?

Your papers?

May I see them? Oh, yes.

Well, you see that building just past that bus?

When you go down there, you walk in the hall right

down to your right till you get to your left there.

And there's a door marked, main entrance navigators.

It's abbreviated, of course, M.E.N.

And there you'll have your papers cleared.

Oh, it's a good thing I look to you.

Your vaccinations expire.

Yes, you better stop in the clinic seat, Dr. Cringe.

You have a long flight ahead, so get it in the arm.

Let me show you.

Straight down the road, beyond the bus, up the hall, M.E.N.

Tata.

A tank.

Tata.

Tata.

Tata.

What is the matter with this aircraft?

Ase piodar gandorhage.

I do not think that there is any real danger.

There needs me.

Dr. Dubratz, be so good as to inquire of your client if

she would care to take over the piloting of this aircraft.

Colonel Skranov wishes to know if you will do us the honor of becoming our pilot.

Yes, I am willing to delay my liquidation until they reach Moscow.

She agrees.

Major Kropotkin.

Yes, sir.

Notifying Major Gandorhage that he is now the co-pilot of this aircraft.

Yes, sir.

And also the guard for the prisoner Kavalenko.

Yes, sir.

Excuse me, Major Gandorhage.

You will give the controls to Captain Kavalenko.

By order of Colonel Skranov, you are also responsible for guarding the prisoner.

Move over, Gandorhage.

Pinker, I wish to express to you my deep sorrow and full admiration.

Thank you for the expression.

It was a bad day for the Soviet Air Force.

Velocit Vyodor Gannovich was born.

That's enough, Gannovich.

Nice or high winds.

No use checking, baby.

Everything is in the wrong place.

Nothing to worry about.

We'll land this great Berlin emergency.

Major Gandorhage, I do not understand your behavior, kissing an enemy of the people.

Well, Gannish, that's good.

Here's the lamp, Colonel Skranov.

Major Gannovich, I'm waiting for your explanation.

Mr. Gannovich, listen to me.

He is practically blind, Colonel Skranov.

As I suspected.

Now, look, Colonel, let me explain.

Quiet.

You will fly to Moscow.

If you attempt any tricks, your paramour will be instantly liquidated.

Come.

You've got a lot to learn about being a host.

Kidnapper, saboteur, fascist hyena, spy.

Keep going.

I'm in there someplace.

Murderer of Major Gannovich.

Me, murder?

You've been reading too many Mickey Spillane books.

Notified the crime in advance that we have captured

an American terrorist and filed a mass assassination.

Explain also this is Vinca Kolayanko's co -conspiratory lomba.

Hey, this is propaganda triumph.

Double execution.

Execution?

You're a national sport.

You ought to try baseball.

It's more fun than the players last night.

Right.

You communists have quite an agricultural plan, but you're not going to plant me.

I'm an American citizen and a soldier.

You don't get this stuff for being a coward, you know.

And you hit.

That's quick, sir.

Don't worry.

They cannot change our hearts.

No, just fill them full of bullet holes, that's all.

Don't be frightened, baby.

Too frightened?

I always like to walk with you, baby.

Thank you.

This will not be a long book.

Let's slow down.

Maybe if we're late, they'll start without us.

Put your arm around me, please.

Tell him about... Vladimir Vastirovich-Clarinov? Correct.

Antoine Antoine-Ritz-Dubratz? Correct.

You are under arrest.

A mistake.

These are the prisoners.

It's no mistake.

What is the charge?

Conduct reflecting on the peace-loving Soviet Union.

Is this Moscow?

I don't understand.

You can take notes at the trial.

Four words, march.

Last week, the Soviet government sent one of its most popular hearings, Captain

Pinkett relating to London, to assist in the

semantic relations between the East and the West.

Tonight, Captain Kavalenko returns in triumph with her

imperialistic American fiancé, Captain Charles Lockwood.

What happened?

The political climate has changed.

Let's take advantage of the weather and get out of here.

Halt!

Halt!

Captain Kavalenko and Captain Lockwood, welcome to Moscow.

The new era between imperialistic West and the

freedom-loving Soviets is symbolized by this happy union.

Wait a minute, are you trying to marry us? He means yes.

Yes, very good.

The USSR and USA will appoint a joint committee to supervise the honeymoon.

Oh no, there are some things a fellow can handle by himself.

And the magnificent wedding will be held here in Moscow.

We would like to have a conference.

It is too dangerous.

Marriage? Moscow.

We are going to live in Indianapolis, Indiana.

We'll make both countries very happy.

We'll have a simple ceremony in America, then

we'll come back here for the golden wedding.

Very well.

We'll start making plans at once.

Yeah, do that.

Hello, Ma.

It was a tough fight, but we'll be right home.

You're down.

Think up!

What?

A wedding present.

The check for a hundred thousand dollars exhibit, eh?

I have everything I want.

Throw it away!

I'll keep it as a souvenir.