Original subtitles

Previously on "Southern Charm..."

Okay, I dropped an L bomb pretty----ing early.

- With Sienna? - Yes!

While Shep opened up about his feelings

for Sienna, Austin was still in his feels about Craig.

Craig told me that he wants

to dissolve our podcast, basically.

Dang.

♪ They've got trouble down the coast of my life ♪

And after JT worked his way back

into Craig's good graces...

We got a fish, bro!

He hosted a get together

to celebrate Molly's concert.

- Thanks for coming! - Yeah.

And supporting my nerd stuff.

But he blew his second chance by

by pissing off Taylor.

Gaston, he was cheating on my friend with Salley.

No, I'm not doing that, JT.

He's being an asshole, just like this one.

Trying to drag my boyfriend's name, just stop!

JT, why are you doing this again?

Which pissed off Craig.

This isn't the same person that went fishing with me

and Shep earlier this week.

I'm just telling the truth!

Peace, dude.

And got Venita

all hot and bothered.

JT look kind of yummy in that T-shirt.

I'm not.

Are you gonna say I'm sorry just to like clear the air,

so you're no longer outside of the group?

I don't care if I'm outside.

But I do.

I know, I love you.

I don't care.

♪ It's easy as making you think that you love me ♪

Mhm.

Little----ers.

Oh sh--!

All right, let's see if we kill ourself.

Oh my God.

I feel like blood vessels are bursting in my brain.

- Hi. - Hi, honey!

Where are you?

I'm in Cannes.

Here, I'll show you.

I don't know if you can see the harbor or not.

Great!

Are you able to hold down the house in my absence?

No.

- Hey! - Hey, lonely one.

- What's up? - How are you?

Thanks for...

Yes, thanks for having me.

- That's a good dress. - Woo!

Thanks.

Here's some waters to start.

Thank you.

I also brought you some menus.

I'm gonna do a dirty girl transfusion.

This Italian pills looking...

Mozzarella sticks, for sure.

And then, let's do some wings.

Thank you, sir.

I'll put that all in for you.

I've been looking forward to seeing you.

Well, how do you feel about JT?

Honestly, I'm still pissed off at Craig,

because I always expect loyalty out of a friendship.

I thought that he would choose me over JT,

but it seems to me, like, that's not the case.

I could not have been more wrong.

Which would be- - Excuse me?

I know, I know.

I've been very genuine in my efforts

to try to reintegrate JT into the group,

but I just don't have the energy to help him anymore.

I wanted to tell you the next day, but-

I know.

Listen, if anything, it just hurt my feelings,

because I do think that mine

and your friendship is stronger than yours and JT's.

It had nothing to do with you.

Why did you wanna give him another chance?

I think that hurt Austen's feelings.

Okay, I'm gonna put it out here for you.

Listen, and Austen doesn't, you know, tell me.

I talk to you more than I do him, but-

Yeah.

I do think that like this divorce that you two are in-

Craig told me that he wants

to dissolve our podcast, basically.

Dang.

Yeah, it bums me out for sure.

- Yeah. - Like, I am sad.

I do think y'all-

I'm sad.

What are we gonna do about it?

Because like, I think he loves you.

Yeah.

I think you're more angry about it now,

and he's more sad.

I always feel bad for Austen.

I mean, we went through the ups

and downs of our relationship.

This is sh--- - Madison!

bullsh--!

Madison!

But now,

we're finally in a good place,

where we can just focus on our friendship.

Aren't we better,

just girlfriends? - Our relationship.

Yes, yes!

Take the drama out

and just gossip. - I know!

Because he's hurt, I want to help him.

I can't help it, I do.

I feel bad for the guy.

I do think

that he's doing well, but like-

I do too,

but what do you want me to do as a friend to Austen

that I wasn't doing before?

Cuddle him at night like you used to.

It's okay.

Look, I feel that he takes our friendship for granted.

If he continues to play victim in this,

all he's doing is pushing me away.

No!

I don't know what to tell you.

We had a great friendship, and now, we're like strangers.

You don't mean that.

Just call him up.

Please don't fall.

Oh, damn it!

All right.

Call mom.

Hello, my sweet angel.

Hello, mother.

How are you?

What's... - I'm good.

I'm gonna go to Augusta to see some friends

and play some golf at Augusta, or, yeah.

You're going to go meet the Great Falls group?

Yeah, I'm having some issues

with the group here in Charleston,

so I figured I'd go back in time to my grade school friends.

Well, it's nice to have that grounding.

And if they kick me out, I'll go back to the college guys.

It's like whack-a-mole with dudes and friend groups.

It's wild right now.

It's weird to feel like you've done nothing wrong,

except be honest.

Taylor's a friend.

She deserves to know the truth.

But why does it matter, JT?

Like, what's the point?

And then, it gets somehow turned upside down

to where you are evil.

I mean, like, I think the part

that hurts here is why flame me?

Oh, you sound like you're

in your hollow apartment.

I am.

I was gonna talk to you about that.

Yeah, I want you to go away,

and I wanna come do your apartment.

All right, so just, I'll leave you a credit card.

You also have access to my assistant, Shannon, right?

And your fiance, Venita.

Mother!

She's a sweet girl.

She'll text and say something nice to me.

I'm like, "Oh, that's so nice."

Well, she does love, Venita does love you.

I mean, she really does.

I know you like her a lot too.

Yeah.

Bunny's always right.

Venita is a shining star.

And since I've known Venita,

there has been chemistry, but it's sort of like,

we don't really ever address it,

because it's just, we have this friendship.

Mom, let's stay on task here.

I gotta get an entertainment center.

She's a tiger.

What does that even mean?

I'm just teasing ya.

Oh gosh.

Cute.

Girl, you out,

you knock like somebody owe you something.

You look so cute! - Hi!

Thanks! - Hi!

So do you!

I was like, I should be like flowery for my flower girl.

- Oh yeah! - They're from my garden.

These are so, so cute.

Oh, I brought you a bag of herbs,

'cause you're my only friend that would appreciate it.

Wait, really?

Yeah, I got them from my garden.

I have so many, so there's like-

Wait, is there mint in here?

There's mint, there's-

Because I'm making us a spritz,

and I can add the mint.

Let's put the mint in!

Yeah, we can put the mint in.

There's rosemary, there's mint.

- Oh! - There's basil.

I'm gonna give myself a little pat on the back.

I'm a great host.

Oh my gosh!

Your like charcuterie board is so pretty.

I think everyone can benefit

from a Venita Aspen hosting class.

And I can teach you how to set the table, pour the drinks,

cocktails, and make snacks.

The timing, the attire.

I can tell that like you have something-

- Yes. - from your energy,

that something-

- That I have something? - Yeah.

I have so much to tell you, you're gonna die.

So Venita has this thing where she wants

to tell you something, and she'll just do this like...

Everything's he, he, he.

And you're like, "What do you have to tell me?"

She can't like hold water when it comes to something

that's like boiling over and exciting.

There's so much to unpack.

Yeah, it's like-

Okay, can we start with, did you make out with JT?

I'm saying, there's like chemistry with you guys, so...

Like okay, so-

You were like all turned on

when his neck vein was popping,

and he was like taking on the room.

You're really a good lawyer right now.

Very good.

It's not, it's me sticking up for what's right.

Because you're protecting something I don't understand.

JT look kind of yummy in that T-shirt.

I'm not looking for...

You were literally like a giggly 14-year-old.

Yeah, I feel like one right now.

Everyone's fighting, I'm like, "Oh, he's so cute!"

"My god, is he tan?

I love that shirt on him.

I love that color.

Do you his muscles were popping?"

I'm like, "Oh my god, Venita, who are you?"

It was crazy.

Yeah, no, it was wild.

Yeah, I have a crush on Mr. JT.

He's just like funny and charming.

He works out every day.

You know, he has a great relationship with his mom.

So I'm like, "Oh, okay, he's kind of like me,

but like, a boy.

I like that."

Have you ever told JT that like you think he's cute?

No, no.

But I plan on having JT over for dinner,

and we'll, I guess we'll, hopefully, we'll talk it out.

I'm sorry, this is all so shocking.

I need to know every----ing detail.

When I'm interested in a guy,

I'm not gonna wait for him to make the call.

I'm gonna be the first one to say, "Hey, how you doing?

So today at 12:30, I expect you to pick me up.

Like you answer to me."

The idea of you and JT make me very excited.

Yeah.

Like, you guys have some sort of connection.

Like, he doesn't have to say anything and like, you know.

He's a marriage guy.

Yeah, I think he's a marriage guy.

He's not like the rest of the boys.

Like he's- - No.

He like, if he finds the right girl,

he's gonna get married immediately.

Yeah.

He probably is really passionate,

'cause he's like a very like-

Leva!

He gets really mad.

Probably is like a throw you against the wall, you know?

Leva!

I'm just saying!

Coming up...

Sienna was flying home, and we were texting.

After that, I don't hear anything.

I'm like, "Hello?"

- Hi! - Hi!

I am meeting my friend,

so I'll probably just look at this

until she gets here.

Sounds good.

Thank you!

Hey!

Hi!

How are you?

I'm good.

- Good to see you. - You look pretty.

So do you.

I haven't seen you since- - I know.

- JT's. - My tuba concert.

You did so good!

Thank you.

Hi, how are you?

Good, how are you?

I think I'm gonna do the rice beer.

Sounds good.

Can I do half of the Dunkel, please?

Thank you!

There's snacks too.

Do you have pretzels?

Yes, and they're weirdly good.

I would love some weirdly good pretzels.

Yeah, me too.

Thank you.

Mm, oh, we, yeah, get our own.

Yay!

Do you wanna sit in these cute green stripes?

Oh my god, yeah.

Look how cute they are!

I need these by my pool.

Ooh!

Oh God.

It's lower than I thought it was.

I know.

I was like, "Whoa!"

We look ridiculous right now.

My jeans are too tight.

Like literally, my jeans are all in my junk.

Oh, being a woman is so hard.

I'm sitting there getting my lips today and my chin,

and I'm like-

I got my chin the other day.

This hurt so----ing bad.

I'm like-

I literally got chin filler two days ago.

I didn't do here.

I did here. - I did here-

And it's still kind of puffy.

because I have a very short chin.

I got my gums cut last year.

I got Botox today too.

I got Botox too.

He put some in my jaw too.

Like one of my jaws is like gnarly,

and the other one's just like...

- Your face looks great. - Thank you.

Your face looks great.

We're beautiful!

Cheers to our beautiful faces.

I'm not trying to change how I look,

I'm just trying to keep it somewhat stable.

I don't wanna, you know, I wanna look a little younger

than I actually am for as long as I can.

I think I started to do it because I was insecure,

but then, I realized, like, it makes me feel good too.

So I'm gonna continue to do that.

I'm getting my girls taken out.

Yeah?

How long have you had them for?

Over two years,

but I got them when I was with my ex fiance.

I thought that's what he liked.

It's not like my ex-fiance told me,

"Your boobs aren't good enough," or anything like that.

He never did.

But the girls that he was giving attention

to had bigger breasts and didn't look like I looked,

and it somewhat made me insecure.

I just felt like I did it for the wrong reasons.

Yeah.

But now, if a guy asked me to get something done

or made me feel that way,

I would just exit the relationship.

I got, these are fat transfer.

- Wait, you did that? - Yeah.

I wanna see your boobs,

but I'm not gonna ask you to do that.

My ankles were a little thicker than your average person.

I was always a bit bothered by it.

And so, finally, I got ankle and calf liposuction,

and then, I shot the fat into my boobs,

because I had no boobies.

People are not giving me bad feedback.

Like, guys- - Oh, that's good.

Are, you know, saying I look great.

You do.

I think it was Ryan trying to tell me

that you seem like you'd be a good fit for Shep.

Like he's kind of hot.

Like, he looks- - Yeah, Shep's hot!

Shep's a hottie.

He, okay, well, he wasn't when I got with him.

Well, Ryan was like, "Oh, by the way, Molly..."

During your show, I may or may not have told Shep

what you told me.

After Easter at Patricia's,

she said she has a thing for you.

- Who does? - Molly.

That's okay.

Oh my god, I hate alcohol.

I'm not super forward.

I'm one of the most awkward people on the planet.

So I was like, "Oh god, is this gonna be a thing now?"

I'm not trying to like get shot down,

'cause he's in love with Sienna,

and then, I look like a freaking idiot.

Yikes.

Y'all would be a cute couple though.

You're both tall.

Yeah, we would have giant children.

Great personalities.

- The kid would be smart. - Silly, funny.

- Definitely silly. - Quirky.

But that's also another thing.

Is Shep capable of

that?

Hello!

Ah, it's just two of us.

Very nice.

I'm so pleased to find a dog friendly place.

What's up, man?

Hey man,

how are you? - How are you doing today?

Good.

Can I get you to start with any drinks?

I'll just, I'll have a beer.

Hey!

- What's up, man? - How's it going?

Good to see you, man.

Oh, look who's with me?

Oh my God, Craig!

Hey, bud!

Hey!

What's up, man?

Can I start us off with any drinks?

I'll do the mezcal old fashion.

Awesome.

And then, I'll get the chicken-

- Okay. - Tacos.

I'll do the chill group of tacos.

Okay.

What's been up?

Bullsh--, man.

I feel like because-

Yeah, it's been a little while.

- I know. - You were not

at the recital.

I got to go up to Charlotte for a few days.

I hung out with Audrey.

So pretty!

Green is your color!

No, green is your color.

Tell me more.

Ooh, yes, please.

And then, see that right there,

and then, that can go towards you.

Thank you!

Anyways,

what's going on?

It's just been a really hard week for me.

What's wrong?

What happened was Sienna was in Africa,

and then, she was flying home, and like,

after that, I don't hear anything.

Like two days later, I'm like,

"Hello?"

I was like, why haven't I heard from her?

Two days later?

Yeah, she should have landed and been rushing by then.

And I, at that point, I was kind of spiraling.

So here, I'll just go.

You want me to read it?

I'll- - Okay.

I finally said on Sunday, "Where are you?"

Just like, a hard stop.

Yeah, like where the---- are you?

I'm in the Bahamas.

And I said, "I don't like not talking to you,

because I love you." - Oh!

Okay.

"And I'm happily making plans

for the future with us in mind."

So what did she say back to you?

"Okay, I'm sorry.

I've just been going through a lot

and kind of needed the space."

And I was like, oh,----, what does that mean?

It was just really, really a tough day.

And I went home,

and I got on my couch with, thank God for little Craig,

and it felt like someone had gutted me.

Well, I'm sorry to hear all this, man.

I really am.

But like, you've only hung out with her, man,

for six weekends.

And this is like a 26-year-old girl who's like,

I don't know what the---- I want.

I know.

And that's what it's sounding like to me.

Shep for the longest time told me that it's not manly

to be sad about a woman or to be sappy.

So it's interesting to see, you know, the change.

I like it.

It's like a humanizing quality to Shep,

but at the same time, I'm like, how can you love a girl

you've only met three times?

So do I text her tonight?

My answer is like a firm no.

If you text her, then she's like,

"Okay, then, like he's there.

You know, he's there."

But if like a week passes

and then she's like,

"Wait, like I miss the sh-- out of him."

And then, she doesn't have you

to just like make her feel better, like that's not your job

if she's telling you that she doesn't know

what she wants. - But I want

to make her feel better.

It's like an absence makes the heart fonder kind of thing

and you don't wanna smother her.

Let it breathe.

You know, your mind wanders to places,

and it just sucks, you know?

My fear, my paranoia

is that there's some----ing dude.

Oh.

Some dude who seems like a big shot,

maybe he is a big shot.

There's something about the two of us being together

that really is nice

and and feels right.

But insecurity is probably the biggest catalyst

of failed relationships, especially long distance.

I thought we were gonna go down to The Bahamas,

everybody, and visit her.

I don't know if that, you know, in my mind,

I'm like, are we not doing that?

- It's Craig. - Huh?

Hey, dude.

I'm actually sitting here with Shep,

eating some chips and queso

and having a long overdue catch up.

Speaking of catching up,

I would love to hang sometime this week.

You tell me when.

We'll make it happen.

Okay.

I love the initiative.

Hell yeah.

I'll talk to you soon.

All right, man.

Later.

I can tell that we both want to talk to each other,

but we just haven't done that.

That's good, that's helping.

When was the last time you saw him?

At Salley's.

The podcast was only good because of our friendship.

Now, the chemistry's just not there anymore.

I honestly just want us to like begin

to find our footing again.

I want to start getting back

to having a very solid friendship.

I don't know why this makes me----ing, you know,

laugh or smile, but- - Cheers.

Coming up...

Shep's girlfriend is Sienna.

She approached Whitney

before Shep. - Shut up.

I didn't know if this bell was loud enough.

It was loud enough.

Thank you.

Do you know how much longer before Madison

might get here?

She's supposed to be here now, so.

Okay, I'll just look for her,

and I'll bring her up a glass of champagne.

You know what?

Can you do it in coupes?

- I certainly can. - The good stuff.

Excellent.

- Thank you. - Mhm.

- Pat? - I'm up here.

I'm drinking by myself,

as usual - No, you're not!

Look how beautiful!

In your slippers?

Hey, darling!

Lemme see if I can get Randy.

Okay.

Woo!

I'm back to the bell.

Good for you!

That's good.

Oh, hey! - Oh, here we go.

- Thank you so much. - You're welcome.

Thank you.

Would you put this on ice?

- Yeah, it's kind of warm. - You got it.

- Thank you. - Cheers.

Cheers, darling.

So you know what?

I've got to stop holding it by the coupe,

because it affects the temperature.

This makes me feel like I'm not in control.

I'm like, huh, do you have it?

Oh, well, you know ,if there's one talent I possess,

it's being able to hold something by the stem.

Here, come on.

Let's go get comfortable.

All right, let's!

You're so funny.

Anytime I'm with Patricia drinking out of a crystal glass

that's like about to break my wrist...

We'll desecrate your room, because mine is neat and tidy.

I'm like, yeah, I am the queen of England

in this canopy bed.

Like RIP, I'd die just as happy.

Here, we'll put this in the middle

and we'll just- - Yeah,

so don't you go over this line.

You're beautiful, not my taste.

What happened to Randy?

We need some champagne!

Oh, look!

Looky, looky.

Let's see. - Caviar in bed?

This will be my first time taking my virginity

of one thing.

Oh, and you know that you only eat caviar

with mother of pearl?

Well, I ate hummus today with mother of pearl, but...

How chic.

Thank you.

I'll do it like that. - Thank you.

Let's see if this is any good.

This is great.

Isn't it good?

So tell me what's going on.

Okay, I got some good stuff.

I met Shep's girlfriend, Sienna,

and I think that she's like a lovely girl.

I mean, she's 26, a lot of energy.

My grandma's the big,

she's like the president of the Southern Charm Fan Club

in the Bahamas. - Aw!

No way!

She's the reason that I actually

even went on a date with Shep.

If you have the grandma's approval,

then like, you got everything.

That might be the first,

I don't know. - Yeah.

I was like, hmm.

- Well- - I don't-

Between you and me,

she approached Whitney-

- Shut up. - Before Shep.

Where?

Oh wait, I'll think of the name of it.

It's for like millionaires

and red- - RIA?

Yes!

Yeah!

Patricia has the best gossip in town, hands down.

Everything she says,

I'm like, [gasps] I hadn't heard that before.

And then, there's the nude photograph she sent you.

I don't know what you're talking about.

But we're not talking about that.

That's why we've been friends for 16 years.

I don't tell her secrets.

Okay, and so-

But I said to Whitney,

you owe it to Shep to tell him.

Yeah?

Well, what'd he say?

"Hell no."

No!

He said no, and don't tell anybody.

He's gonna kill me.

He should have known better.

But as far as I'm concerned,

it screams ulterior motives to me.

When I was talking to Sienna,

she's like, I would love to hang out with y'all again.

Aw!

I mean, if you guys wanna do something.

- Yeah, of course. - Yeah.

We would love to come to The Bahamas.

Yeah!

Listen, I'm trying to work on it.

So it sounds like she's working a lot of angles here.

Yeah.

Stalker!

Yeah, exactly.

Cheers to that. - Cheers to that.

Coming up...

Well, speaking of Austen, you have to mediate this,

hopefully, amicable divorce.

I don't want to grease the wheels by like reminding you

that only one of us at this table has hooked up

with your ex.

I'm not trying to bribe the judge

or the mediator.

Hi.

Hey, what's up?

Nothing, just at the store in Nashville.

Well, I'm actually headed to meet up with Austen

to go over things with the podcast.

So I'm picking up Shep,

because it's hard for us to have a tough conversation

without kind of a mediator.

Okay.

Offer somewhere between 35

to $50,000 as a lump sum payment to him.

Yeah, I think I'm just gonna offer 30

and see what he says.

I agree with that.

You know, start low.

Yeah, I think he's gonna be pleasantly surprised

with our offer.

I think this is a way that we can all win.

You know, I feel like we're on two different roads,

but they're like going like similar directions.

But I can't hold Austen's hand

for every single thing in life.

He has to find his own purpose.

All right, man, let me know how it goes.

All right, I will.

Bye.

- Hey! - What's up, dude?

- How you doing? - Good to see you.

Been a little while, not too long, a little.

How's it going?

Yeah, man, I had a tough one.

- Oh really? - Yeah.

Sienna was in Africa,

doing her thing.

She was flying home, and we were texting.

After that, I don't hear anything.

Like, two days later, I'm like,

"Hello?"

Then, this morning, I got a text from her.

She's like, "Good morning,"

with a big smiling face.

I was like, "Are we happy this morning?"

She goes, "Yes, we are."

I was like, "Isn't it interesting how a day

and some perspective can can bring you back?"

Well, you guys are still pretty new.

Paige and I are coming up on three years,

but it's been a lot of hard work.

You're going to have to deal with----ing with her.

No, I know.

It's worth giving it a try,

because the feelings that you have

for her don't come around that often.

They don't.

Yeah, you might get hurt, but-

Well, I'm, I'm okay with getting hurt.

I really am.

I just want-

Some beautiful babies and-

- I know. - A Bahamian house.

I know!

Or you're gonna go into some deep, dark depression

that you pull me into,

and we're gonna have to go to the----ing bars-

- Oh no! - and meet girls.

Oh no!

Things are really in Sienna's hands.

Yeah.

Craig's advice is pretty good, honestly.

I think he's got Austen beat in that arena.

Do I text her tonight?

My answer is like a firm no.

If you text her, then, she's like,

"Okay, then, like, he's there.

You know, he's there."

But if like a week passes

and then, she's like,

"Wait, like I miss the sh-- out of him,

and if she doesn't have you

to just like make her feel better,

like that's not your job if-

But I want to make her feel better.

I had lunch with Austen, you know,

he's cynical about relationships, dude.

You're not as much, but you can be realist.

I mean- - Right.

that's why I appreciate bouncing things off of you.

Well, speaking of Austen, you have to mediate this,

hopefully, amicable divorce.

The ultimate goal though today is to tie up

all the loose ends- - Well-

- with the podcast. - Okay.

But you're gonna have to give a little bit, Craig.

You're not like, you're not right all the time.

Well, I,

that's why you're coming. - Okay.

I brought you to ask the hard questions.

Okay, good, good.

I think Craig and Austen are closest

when Austen does what Craig tells him to do.

And if Austin falls out of line, there's problems.

But like, we can't empathize with each other's point

of view, then are we really friends to begin with?

So, yeah. I mean, look, I don't want to grease the wheels

by like reminding you that only one

of us at this table has hooked up with your ex.

Like, I'm not trying to bribe the judge

or the mediator.

Hi.

Hi, how's it going?

How are you?

Good!

I think I'm meeting a buddy here.

Absolutely, you can follow me.

Okay, thank you very much.

Okay.

Hey, how's it going?

Hey, how are you?

Good, I'm great.

I was thinking about the peach sour.

Cool, I'll be right back.

I want to be good with Craig.

I don't want to be at odds.

Thank you. - You're welcome.

Can I throw some spicy boiled peanuts?

Yeah, of course.

It feels like Craig and I have been skirting

around the issue for far too long,

and let's just cut through the sh--

and just----ing talk.

Like, it'd gotten to that point

where there's nothing else to be said other than exactly

what is the issue for both of us.

- Thank you. - Yes, sir.

Hey, how's it going?

I think we're meeting our friend.

All right, I can show you the way.

Hey!

What the----?

Of course, Craig shows up with Shep,

his new like----ing bestie all of a sudden.

Get us some beverages?

Can I do this Nitro cold brew?

Yeah.

Can I have an overly friendly?

Yeah, you sure can.

Yeah!

I haven't seen them show up together anywhere

in three years.

Do you guys like oysters?

Let's do six of each.

And chicken dinners is great.

Perfect!

Like, coming to meet me,

Craig has to get a partner in arms,

which is just more----ing chess games from Craig.

This is awesome.

I miss this.

This is great.

It just feels right.

This is awesome.

I miss this.

This is great.

It just feels right.

Okay, here you are.

Oh, thank you.

Are you gonna start this like "The Godfather?"

Like, thank you for joining me.

Right, 'cause I was sitting here waiting, like...

You know, I've never seen "The Godfather."

That is not surprising whatsoever.

It shouldn't surprise us.

That is not surprising at all.

Has Paige?

Yeah.

She doesn't know I've never seen it.

Has she seen it though?

Really? - Yeah, she's Italian.

Yeah.

Yeah, but so what?

They love that sh--.

I think you like have to watch it

at your like Italian bar mitzvah.

- Yeah. - Or bat mitzvah.

- All right! - Oh my God.

- Yeah. - Yes, yes.

- Oh my God! - Yes, yes, yes!

Big platter, okay.

This is such a Craig order.

Thank you.

- You're welcome! - Thank you.

All right, so where were we?

Austen and I have, we're just not great at expressing,

saying the tough stuff.

- Well, y'all are so close! - By ourselves.

- It's too hard. - Yeah.

But I feel like I have a proposal

with the podcast that should be pretty----ing great.

Oh.

Maybe, like, we give you like 30 grand,

but I keep ownership of it.

Oh my God.

No,

I wasn't, you know, thinking about the podcast.

So what do you want from me?

What about like, I don't know,

just friendship wise with all of us?

Like, I thought we were fine.

You were the entire, you did this.

You came to my house and started this.

Craig-

All I've done is respond.

And then, you could have turned around and been like,

"You're right, man."

I don't think you're right.

You are right.

I don't agree with you!

But, okay, okay, okay.

Hold on.

Like, I think you were very wrong in what you did.

Craig, it was me telling you that you have lost track

of your interpersonal relationships.

So man, this is just like what you wanna do.

Like, you just like wanna hide out

and not make the effort anymore-

- Not make the effort? - than like what we do.

Like what...

We record twice a week! - I know!

And we see each other at the gym.

But Craig, man, that's business.

But my whole life is business now.

I'm trying to have you find some balance, dude,

that's all that I wanted you to do.

And instead, you took your ball and went home with it.

Man, just think about- - Hold on.

all the things that you've done since

that conversation. - Craig, if you're-

Like what?

You threw a party, didn't invite me.

Yeah, I felt betrayed.

I felt very betrayed.

I am disappointed to hear you say that.

We do so much together.

Working out, podcasting, lunches.

We would go out at the gym.

Yeah, but we...

I'm just like, what more do you want from me?

It's like talking to a brick wall.

Mediator, what is uncleared?

I don't- - Okay.

I don't want to,

I don't get it. - Yeah.

I think that there is a part of Austen and I

that thought that it was like all a PR thing.

Like, I've gotta, if if I want my business to flourish,

I have to be squeaky clean.

No, but that's discounting

all the time we spend together outside of drinking.

Well, we have to mention like,

we think that like all this is plastic and all performative.

That's a you two problem.

You can either accept the life that I live now or not.

So you're either gonna be supportive

or you're gonna - ing---- off.

But we're...

Wow.

Part of being a self-realized human being is to listen

to constructive criticism and to really take it in

and maybe realize that some people have a point.

We just wanna be friends.

This is crazy.

Well, but it's friendship.

If every time I ask what you guys want from me-

if you don't-

It's not about going to bars.

Then, give me something!

This, right now, eating----ing oysters

in the middle of the day. - Great!

And quality time.

My friendship is like not bailing on each other,

like, all the ups and downs we've had.

Like, I feel like I've been a great friend to you.

You know, and that's why I was taken back a little bit

where you came to my pool,

said I don't feel like you're a good friend anymore.

Like, it really hurt my feelings that you did that.

And then, it hurt my feelings when it got diminished down

to like, Austen only wants like a drinking buddy.

You know, that like my fun isn't at the bar anymore.

That's okay.

Like, you don't have to be-

But it doesn't sound like that's okay.

my drinking buddy.

I understand that your concerns were genuine.

I'll give you that.

Sorry, I haven't said that yet.

I'm not trying to say you weren't coming

from a genuine place.

You know, I just didn't agree, that's all.

I just felt I felt misunderstood.

Join the club. - But we're not-

I just...

That's a big thing.

Like, your friends might---- up trying to tell you

what they think, but they're your friends,

and that means something.

That's how I see it.

I just wish we could accept each other

for like who we are.

I think we're getting there really quickly.

It would be fair to say

that I don't use the limited amount of free time

that I get at my house in Charleston

to come hang out with you guys, okay?

There will always be room for improvement

for the balance of that.

Just a small effort, and we'll build back up.

This is good, right?

Okay, so this is good, okay?

- I love that. - But like, that's-

That's a step.

But my life is not gonna look very much different

than it does now.

Craig is just like my way of thinking is correct,

everyone else is----ing crazy.

So good luck with your way of thinking,

'cause my way of thinking is right.

Coming up...

Am I extremely attracted to you?

Yes.

Charles, we're cooking,

'cause JT's coming over for the first time.

We're gonna make him a cute little dinner.

When it comes to men, I'm assertive,

but I don't go in with like a master plan.

But I do set the stage to make it easy

for the man to make the decision.

I don't know how girls do.

They're like, "Oh, like I just gotta wait for him to call."

What the---- are you waiting for?

Ooph!

I guess I put this...

Charles, don't you dare!

Charles, I've never done that before.

Am I nervous?

- Charles! - Hi!

Hello, buddy, the guard dog.

- Yeah. - How are you?

I'm okay, how you doing?

Good to see you.

Well, welcome to my apartment.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

You're very girly and fun.

It's beautiful.

Turned my dining room into a closet,

'cause who needs a dining room?

I mean, you make your money from fash anyway,

so you're- - Yeah.

It makes sense that your office should be-

A closet.

That's where mommy makes her money.

- Sorry. - It's okay.

Cheers.

That's where mommy makes her monies.

Boom!

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- So I'm cooking dinner. - What are you making?

Branzino.

Hell yeah, let's see it.

It's in the oven,

I don't know if I can open this.

- Damn! - Right?

Yes!

You got it good, Charles.

I just talked to Bunny.

She said that you're her favorite and she said hi.

Bunny, I love Bunny.

You sent her a very nice Mother's Day text.

I did, I love Bunny.

- She was touched. - Really?

Mhm.

She said, I quote, "She's my favorite.

You should marry her."

That's a little forward, don't you think, for Bunny?

It's fine.

I don't feel awkward.

I kind of feel cool.

No, for Bunny?

At least she's not.

Is she gonna sit in the living room?

Sure.

Okay, I don't wanna burn the fish.

The first time I thought that I liked JT

more than a friend is when we were in New York.

JT's got a great body.

He respects women.

He has a successful career.

All the things Shep lacks.

But I was in a relationship with somebody else

at the time, and I said, you know what?

Pump the brakes.

Testing myself right now.

I used to be a server and I, like, I still got it.

Damn, okay.

But the more we got to hang out with the group

and being out together, and like me standing up for him,

and like having his back, I was just like,

I don't do this for people

that I just like am friendly with,

that I just like, like.

I know you like veggies, you like to eat lean,

you have branzino and spinach.

I feel very spoiled right now.

This is very nice.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Stuffed it with garlic.

Mm!

What, is it bad?

No, this is bomb.

- Really? - Yeah!

Okay.

Sweet and spicy.

- Kind of like us. - Mhm.

Let me just acknowledge something.

Like, you know that there's something, right?

Like, you know that there's chemistry here?

Like, I do.

Yeah. - Mhm.

Are we on the same page?

I had a feeling it was there,

but I didn't think that you would actually like say it.

Sorry.

Do I know we have chemistry?

Am I extremely attracted to you?

Yes, and yes.

My mouth is like stuck on a permanent smile right now.

Every time I try to like relax, my mouth's like, ah!

- Yeah. - Mhm.

But it's just,

I'm just being real.

Like, I'm seeing someone.

So...

I've been just getting out of the gates

in this new relationship.

I gotta give myself a little bit of credit,

because I don't cheat.

And that's a slippery slope.

I won't say that I knew he had a girlfriend.

I can say that I knew he was talking to someone,

but it wasn't like a this is who I'm dating.

Don't act like you don't want this just as bad as I do.

Yes, but let's play this out.

Say that it's an alternative universe.

Okay.

That it was me and you,

but you knew that I had the propensity

to see new opportunities and be flippant.

You wouldn't wanna be with somebody like that.

Then you would always wonder in the back of your mind,

is he gonna do the same thing?

That's valid.

Let's be real,

if I was dating JT

and he's talking to another girl like this,

we would be done.

There's no way, there's no absolute way I would be able

to continue dating him.

I think that it's important that you know

that my word means something.

Okay.

But where does that put us?

I don't know, but I'll acknowledge that it's not easy.

Well, I'll also acknowledge that it's not easy.

- Okay, well then- - It's very difficult.

But you know, I have to like, I'm not a homewrecker.

And I wouldn't-

And I don't wanna be.

wanna be with someone like that.

I'm equally parts angry and equally parts sad,

because like, how long have you been flirting

and you've had a girlfriend this whole time?

I gotta go.

It's time for me to get outta here.

Next time on "Southern Charm..."

Maybe I shoot up the Craig, be like,

this is what life is like without me, mother----er.

He is going to miss you so much that it's gonna kill him.

What's gonna happen in Napa?

We're gonna find Shep's girlfriend.

She has your interest in you.

You know that not to be true.

You reached out to me first.

If you can't handle the amount of love-

- Right. - that I give,

then that's like a personal problem.

- This is a stupid - ing conversation.