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1
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,580
- * one, two, three,
Four, five, six *
2
00:00:12,613 --> 00:00:13,581
* shake it, dude
3
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:21,555
*
4
00:00:35,436 --> 00:00:38,406
- * cue the pulse to begin
5
00:00:38,439 --> 00:00:46,280
*
6
00:00:46,314 --> 00:00:49,817
* cue the pulse to begin
7
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,687
* cue the pulse
To begin *
8
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,124
* cue the pulse to begin
9
00:01:00,294 --> 00:01:04,365
[both moaning]
10
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:29,557
- relax and count backwards
From ten, mr. Kinney.
11
00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:11,131
- [grunting]
12
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,582
- brian--
- don't say anything.
13
00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:30,651
- look, I'm sure it's just
A temporary malfunction.
14
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:33,254
It takes time for your body
To heal itself
15
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,289
And for you to regain
Your strength.
16
00:02:35,323 --> 00:02:36,790
Be patient.
17
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:40,461
Everything will be up
And running in no time.
18
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:44,565
- thanks for not
Saying anything.
19
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,439
- I want to get
Those cool pumas
20
00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,941
And a pair of diesel jeans,
Maybe two.
21
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,409
- hey, hey.
22
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,944
What do you think I am,
Made of money?
23
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,579
- like, yeah.
24
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:00,414
You're having a movie made.
25
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:01,949
- we hope.
And I didn't work my ass off
26
00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,952
So I could put expensive jeans
On yours.
27
00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,321
- ben, I want to get
A couple pairs of diesel jeans.
28
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,957
- pull up your pants.
I can see your shorts.
29
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,592
- that's the fucking point.
30
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,494
- we're taking hunter
To buy some new clothes.
31
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:14,995
- and have pizza and go
To a movie.
32
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:17,765
- not a brett keller movie.
33
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,734
So tomorrow night?
The mall? The three of us?
34
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,436
- uh, sure. Fine.
[cell phone rings]
35
00:03:22,470 --> 00:03:24,338
Ah, must be mark bluestein.
He has the flu.
36
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:26,240
I said I'd cover his class.
37
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:28,509
Hello?
38
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:31,579
Hey.
39
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,847
Uh-huh.
40
00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,849
Sure.
41
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,386
Uh, breakfast, lunch,
Whatever.
42
00:03:38,419 --> 00:03:41,455
Yeah, see you then.
43
00:03:41,489 --> 00:03:42,856
- for somebody who's laid up
With flu,
44
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,392
He has
A pretty healthy appetite.
45
00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,593
- oh, yeah, that wasn't mark.
46
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:46,860
It was anthony,
From the library.
47
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:48,729
You remember,
I told you about him?
48
00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,631
- yeah, how could I forget?
He only calls you every hour.
49
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,600
- [scoffs]
That's not true.
50
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,735
- maybe he has a crush on you.
- that's not true either.
51
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:56,737
He's just a nice kid
Who wants to be a writer.
52
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:59,773
We get together
And discuss books, that's all.
53
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:01,509
So tomorrow night.
54
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,345
Pizza, movie,
And diesel jeans.
55
00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:05,379
- tight.
56
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:09,016
- yeah, you mean, "Loose."
57
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:13,787
[both groaning]
58
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:31,805
- oh, touchdown!
59
00:04:31,839 --> 00:04:37,645
[laughing]
60
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:41,649
My, how the boy can score.
61
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,051
- I got a good kicker.
62
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,919
- I'll say.
63
00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:49,423
- that's a quarterback's
Secret weapon.
64
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:53,827
- speaking of secrets...
65
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,396
Does your fiancee know?
66
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,398
- know what?
67
00:04:57,431 --> 00:04:59,533
- that you're...Mm?
68
00:04:59,567 --> 00:05:01,402
- that I'm--
69
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,437
- do I really have to say it?
70
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:05,406
That you're, uh, the "H" word.
71
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,575
- hard-bodied?
72
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,810
Hot?
Hung?
73
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,545
Yeah, she knows all that.
74
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:13,447
- I meant, uh, homosexual.
75
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:14,848
Gay. Queer.
76
00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:18,419
- hey, I'm not a fag.
77
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,454
- did I use that word?
78
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:25,025
- a fag is
A sissy, girl, a pansy.
79
00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:27,094
You think I'm that?
- hardly.
80
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,629
- a fag can't even throw
A ball.
81
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:29,963
Do you know how far
I can throw?
82
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,433
- I reckon a country mile.
83
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,435
- I'm a hero to millions.
84
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:36,003
Name one fag who's a hero.
85
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,971
Name one fag who's got a call
From the president
86
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,107
Saying, "Great game."
87
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,010
Name one fag that's fucked
Every dallas cheerleader,
88
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:46,914
And I don't even play
For dallas.
89
00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:50,050
Name one fag every kid wants
To grow up to be.
90
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,920
- harvey fierstein?
91
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,456
- so why would anyone think
I was a fag?
92
00:05:55,489 --> 00:06:00,461
- maybe because you had
Your dick up my ass?
93
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:02,930
- so I like to fuck guys.
94
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:05,866
Doesn't mean that I love them
Or want to kiss them
95
00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,869
Or even know them.
96
00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:12,540
This is just for fun.
To get off.
97
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:15,609
And no one's to ever hear
About this.
98
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:18,746
Understand?
99
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:22,950
- who'd believe me
If I told them?
100
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:27,421
- next week, an enormous
250-foot mural of yours
101
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,557
Will be unveiled
At penn plaza.
102
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:33,561
Tomorrow, an exhibition
Of your drawings opens here,
103
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:35,663
At the sidney bloom gallery.
104
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,431
Tell me, mr. Auerbach,
105
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:39,099
Why did you choose pittsburgh?
106
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,768
- well, unless you're
A pirates fan,
107
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,036
There's not a goddamn reason
To come here.
108
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,038
Now there will be.
- that's perfect.
109
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,708
- I've heard your ego
Is as big as your mural.
110
00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,177
- I hope
I haven't let you down.
111
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,446
I mean...I hope
This bagel-deprived burg
112
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,849
Feels the same way
When they see my work.
113
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,118
- I think that's all we need.
That's good.
114
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,988
That was great.
Thank you.
115
00:07:01,021 --> 00:07:03,824
- any time, honey.
116
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:09,663
How was I?
- okay, I guess.
117
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:12,199
I wasn't really listening.
I was working.
118
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,067
- I'm glad
I didn't distract you.
119
00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:18,205
- not at all.
120
00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:20,474
- you know...
[chuckles]
121
00:07:20,508 --> 00:07:25,078
I have this strange feeling
That I'm being...Ignored.
122
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,680
Strange, because, I mean,
Let's--let's face it,
123
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:28,215
I'm not used to being ignored.
124
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,951
In fact, I think the last time
It happened, I was 14.
125
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:33,220
Suzie schroeder was her name.
- oh.
126
00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:34,888
- she ditched me
At a tastee freez
127
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:38,759
For a guy with a triple scoop.
128
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:40,628
Broke my heart.
129
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,095
- well, you needn't worry.
130
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,965
I haven't been
To a tastee freez in years.
131
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,634
So why don't you go over
And flirt
132
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:50,037
With that nice girl reporter
And leave me to my work?
133
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,777
[phone rings]
134
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,780
- harvey, when have I ever
Let you down?
135
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,114
- are you fucking kidding me?
136
00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:02,850
- name one time.
- the time I asked you
137
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,251
Out on a date, and you said,
"Thanks, but no."
138
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:05,986
- okay, name a second.
139
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,921
- oh, jesus, brian, I was one
Of your first clients.
140
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:09,590
Just because you're
A big shot now...
141
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:12,259
[phone rings]
- hold on.
142
00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:14,127
Mr. Decarlo,
Sorry to keep you.
143
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,863
- when is that campaign
Gonna be ready?
144
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,197
- we're right on schedule.
145
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:19,132
- how does it look?
- it looks great.
146
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,134
- I need it for
The next stockholders' meeting.
147
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,537
- when?
- friday, 3:00,
148
00:08:23,571 --> 00:08:25,606
Or they'll have my balls.
- hold on.
149
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:28,141
[beep]
150
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,210
Tell jacob that if the art
For dandy lube
151
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,212
Isn't on my desk
By 9:00 a.M. Friday,
152
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:33,881
He'll be teaching
Remedial finger painting
153
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:37,217
To kindergartners.
154
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:41,154
Mr. Decarlo, how does 10:00 a.M.
Friday sound?
155
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,890
- still have my balls.
156
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,758
[beep]
157
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,760
[phone rings]
158
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,629
- harvey, did you think
Of a second?
159
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,764
- actually, no.
- see? I told you.
160
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:52,633
- look, you owe me big, brian.
I don't know what I'm supposed--
161
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:55,168
- now stop worrying,
I'll get you the back cover.
162
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:58,105
- I'm counting on you,
Hot shot.
163
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,674
- jeez, with an act like that,
You should be in vegas
164
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:03,777
Making tigers vanish
Into thin air.
165
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,078
- throw me a bone.
166
00:09:05,112 --> 00:09:09,116
I'm trying to juggle 15 balls
At once.
167
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,918
No remarks.
168
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,319
That's a nice suit.
169
00:09:12,352 --> 00:09:18,058
- yeah? Worked wonders
On son of dandy lube.
170
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,728
- you know, I like your newfound
Self-confidence, theodore.
171
00:09:20,761 --> 00:09:23,130
Far preferable
To your former lack thereof.
172
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:25,599
- so what's my next assignment,
Jim?
173
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:27,000
- congrats.
174
00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:29,136
Brown athletics is committing
A cool mil
175
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,605
To snag a model
For their new underwear line.
176
00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,340
- well, as luck would have it,
I'm available.
177
00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:35,075
- unfortunately,
They're looking for someone
178
00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:36,209
With a higher profile.
179
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,878
- not to mention
A bigger basket.
180
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,947
- they want
A famous sports figure.
181
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,149
- I happen to be
Pittsburgh's 1986 junior class
182
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,684
Ping-pong champion.
183
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:46,219
Well, runner-up.
184
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,355
- so at what hour of the day
Or night
185
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:51,358
Am I supposed to conduct
This star search?
186
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,861
- I'll do it for you, bri.
187
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,897
- you?
- yeah.
188
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,699
I landed dandy lube,
Didn't I?
189
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:01,268
Look, I'll talk to some agents,
A few managers,
190
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,236
See who's interested,
Then put together a short list.
191
00:10:03,270 --> 00:10:04,404
Final draft choice,
Of course, is yours.
192
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,839
- yeah, that sounds perfect,
193
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,274
Except for
One itty-bitty detail.
194
00:10:07,307 --> 00:10:09,710
You don't know a fucking thing
About sports.
195
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,144
- but I know about sex,
196
00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,246
What looks good
In a pair of shorts.
197
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,282
After all, I am a gay man,
198
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,752
And sex is
Our national pastime.
199
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:26,193
- these drawings of rage
And jt are hot.
200
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,896
Why can't we ever see zephyr
In a fuck-fest
201
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:30,731
With some great-looking guy?
202
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:33,767
- because nobody buys our comics
To see zephyr get laid.
203
00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:35,135
- that is so not true
204
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,804
Just because you don't want
To see it.
205
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,272
- it's not that I don't want
To see it.
206
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,041
It's that I can't imagine it.
207
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:42,409
- well, I can.
208
00:10:42,442 --> 00:10:44,011
When he and his hunky boyfriend,
209
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:45,312
The world-famous paleontologist,
210
00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,014
Professor ken kirschner,
Get it on,
211
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:52,419
They really rattle
The old dinosaur bones.
212
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,788
Except ever since
The scientific community
213
00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:58,291
Rejected the professor's
Latest research findings,
214
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,994
They haven't felt much like
Doing it.
215
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,163
- I know what that's like.
216
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:06,033
Jt hasn't gotten a rise
Out of rage
217
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:10,938
Since ice teena zapped him
With her radiation gun.
218
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:11,972
- you mean--
219
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,441
- not since the operation.
220
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,243
- but I thought the doctor
Said that...
221
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:18,045
- nothing would be affected?
222
00:11:18,078 --> 00:11:22,482
Yeah, well, something
Sure as hell isn't working.
223
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:24,384
- maybe he just needs
Some viagra.
224
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:28,455
- you try telling him that.
225
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,058
- okay, so how about we take
A little trip to chinatown?
226
00:11:31,091 --> 00:11:32,793
- I already ate.
227
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:34,828
- I meant to see master nee.
228
00:11:34,862 --> 00:11:36,830
- who's he?
229
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,465
- he's this herbalist
Ben sees.
230
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,333
He says he's a miracle worker.
231
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,802
He gave him this stuff
That actually helped
232
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:43,270
Lower his viral load.
233
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,205
- come on, you don't actually
Believe that.
234
00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:48,208
- chinese medicine's been
Working for thousands of years.
235
00:11:48,241 --> 00:11:49,843
Who am I to doubt it?
236
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,212
Besides, if he can help lower
Ben's count,
237
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:55,816
Maybe he'll be able to raise...
238
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:59,853
- the titanic?
239
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,388
- I give them an assignment
240
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,423
To critique one
Of tennessee williams' plays,
241
00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:04,992
And what do they do?
242
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,996
They rip him to shreds,
Like a pack of jackals.
243
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,098
- oh, you know
How some queers are.
244
00:12:11,131 --> 00:12:12,432
They're not content
To criticize,
245
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:15,368
They have to seek and destroy.
246
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:19,506
- all I know is, it's a lot
Harder to create something
247
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,975
Than it is to tear it apart.
248
00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,377
- like your book.
249
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,247
That must've been
Like giving birth.
250
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,149
- most people have no idea.
251
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:30,851
- I do.
252
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:35,522
Every sentence I write,
Or try to, is agony.
253
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,424
I don't know why I do it.
254
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:38,859
- probably for the same reason
I do,
255
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,994
You have no choice.
256
00:12:41,028 --> 00:12:43,130
If you ever want me
To read anything,
257
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:47,400
A story,
Chapter, sentence...
258
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:50,037
Just ask.
I promise to be gentle.
259
00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:53,173
- I'm sure you would be.
260
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:57,044
So what do you think
About edmund white?
261
00:12:57,077 --> 00:13:00,447
- why, his essays and articles
On being positive
262
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,883
Influenced me tremendously.
263
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:06,019
But I particularly love
His autobiographical fiction.
264
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,454
In fact, a boy's own story
265
00:13:07,487 --> 00:13:10,423
Inspired me to write r-u-1-2.
266
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:14,327
- then how about coming with me
To his lecture tomorrow night?
267
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,163
I've got an extra ticket.
268
00:13:16,196 --> 00:13:19,332
- you know, I...I would love to,
269
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:21,068
But, uh, I already made plans
270
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:23,570
With my partner
And our foster son.
271
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,338
- that takes priority.
272
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:31,044
But in case something changes,
I'll save you the seat.
273
00:13:31,078 --> 00:13:33,246
- okay.
274
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:38,251
[moaning]
275
00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,105
- honey?
- hmm?
276
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,374
- that feels wonderful.
- I'm glad.
277
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:03,476
- but--but do you mind if we...
278
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,578
- what?
279
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:13,086
- if we use this?
280
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,988
- glinda's magic wand?
281
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:17,958
We haven't used this since
Dorothy went home to kansas.
282
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:21,094
- I just felt, I don't know,
In the mood, I guess.
283
00:14:21,128 --> 00:14:22,495
But if you don't want to--
284
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,630
- no, no, no,
If it's what you want,
285
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:27,000
Then let's give it a whirl.
286
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:31,871
[buzzing]
287
00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,912
- oh, god!
288
00:14:38,946 --> 00:14:42,983
[moaning]
289
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,285
- there you go.
290
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:47,420
- thanks.
291
00:14:49,456 --> 00:14:51,291
- take it easy, deb.
292
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,626
- yeah, you too, betty, honey.
See you tomorrow.
293
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:11,178
- in case you didn't notice,
I was in the diner.
294
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:13,580
- I noticed.
295
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,450
- walk you home?
296
00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:20,287
- no, it's okay.
297
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,289
- it's late.
298
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,458
- I've been doing it on my own
For 20 years.
299
00:15:25,492 --> 00:15:27,194
I can take care of myself.
300
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:31,031
- and you've got a right hook
To prove it.
301
00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:34,601
[clears throat]
302
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:36,703
- you're working late.
303
00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:38,338
- just got to get the job done.
304
00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,573
- used to be the only reason
You'd stay up
305
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:43,576
Was because it was still up.
306
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:46,046
- a lot of things
"Used to be."
307
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:48,081
- you're telling me.
308
00:15:51,218 --> 00:15:54,254
- I shouldn't have said
What I did about vic.
309
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:05,598
- you're damn straight
You shouldn't have.
310
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,335
Not that you were wrong.
311
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:12,072
He was lucky
He got those extra years.
312
00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:14,241
But it's the way you said it.
313
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,776
Just tossing it off
Like it didn't mean a thing,
314
00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:19,979
Like his whole fucking life
Didn't mean a thing.
315
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,153
- I see your point.
316
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:29,122
- yeah, so why didn't you
See it then?
317
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:37,630
- maybe because I didn't know
That I had cancer then.
318
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,633
- what?
319
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:44,003
- are you going to make me
Say it twice?
320
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:47,174
- I just want to be sure
That I heard--
321
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:50,177
- you heard it.
322
00:16:51,278 --> 00:16:53,580
- shit.
323
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,784
Are you okay?
- all right?
324
00:16:57,817 --> 00:17:00,553
They think.
325
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:04,124
But who the hell knows?
326
00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,458
- well, then what the fuck
Are you doing
327
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,060
Out at 2:00
In the morning?
328
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,696
You should be home getting
Your rest, honey.
329
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,798
- I can't sleep.
I keep having these dreams.
330
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:13,666
- well, force yourself.
331
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:15,702
And make sure you eat,
You hear me?
332
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,705
You got to keep
Your strength up.
333
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,310
- yes, mother.
334
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:28,348
- does she know?
335
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:33,720
- so far,
Just michael and justin.
336
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:36,523
And...Theodore.
337
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,160
- and nobody told me?
338
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,562
- I'm telling you.
339
00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,297
- how come?
340
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:48,768
- so that you'll forgive me
And take pity on me.
341
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:55,208
- son of a bitch.
342
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:03,116
You're going to be okay,
You hear me?
343
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:09,622
You're going to be okay.
344
00:18:18,498 --> 00:18:19,866
- hey, I'm making a list
For the grocery.
345
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,601
Tide, butter, oatmeal.
346
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:22,869
Can you think
Of anything else?
347
00:18:22,902 --> 00:18:25,738
- batteries.
- huh?
348
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,674
- after last night,
Glinda's magic wand's
349
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:28,908
Going to need recharging.
350
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,778
- oh.
- you were wild, honey.
351
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,246
- [chuckles]
Mel.
352
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,514
- don't be embarrassed.
353
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,816
It was hot to see you
So turned on.
354
00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:38,651
- okay, we're out of fruit.
355
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,220
Pears, apples.
356
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,754
Should I get more bananas?
357
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:42,889
I mean...
358
00:18:42,922 --> 00:18:45,625
- I would say so.
- yeah.
359
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:47,360
- by the way,
I talked to dusty,
360
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:49,629
And she said that we
Can drop gus off around 4:00,
361
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,231
Which gives us plenty of time
To get ready
362
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,232
And go to the opening.
363
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,500
- cranapple juice...
364
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:54,634
- do you want to go together,
365
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:55,902
Or do you
Have to get there early?
366
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:57,570
- I don't need to be there
At all.
367
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,905
- oh, so you can be a guest
Just like anyone else?
368
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,641
- I mean,
I've decided not to go.
369
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,276
- what are you talking about?
It's your show.
370
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,277
You put the whole thing
Together.
371
00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:05,645
- I know.
372
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,247
- well,
So wouldn't you want to--
373
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:08,815
- I've spent enough time
On it already, okay?
374
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,251
It's time I started
Being more attentive to you,
375
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:12,552
To our family.
376
00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:15,455
Michael even had to go
To lamaze for me.
377
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,424
- hey, hey, hey, when I
Feel like I'm not getting
378
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,792
Enough attention,
I'll let you know.
379
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,729
Now, I want you to go
And get some of the attention
380
00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:24,864
You deserve.
381
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:27,667
- well, maybe I'll stop by
Later, when it's over,
382
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,603
See how it went.
383
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,873
Now...
384
00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:36,843
I'm off to the grocery.
385
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:44,317
[indistinct chatter]
386
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,952
- since when did ted schmidt,
387
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,954
Reigning opera queen
Of pittsburgh,
388
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:50,723
Trade in puccini
For pigskin?
389
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:53,560
- since I told brian I'd help
Him find a famous sports figure
390
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:55,562
To model brown athletics'
New underwear line.
391
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,564
- mmm, sounds hot.
392
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:59,999
So, uh, which hunky jock
Did you select
393
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:02,435
To drop trou and smile
For the birdie?
394
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,003
- I don't know
Who any of these guys are.
395
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,838
- oh, perhaps
I can help you out.
396
00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,907
- you?
[scoffs]
397
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,609
Look, at least I know
The difference
398
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,444
Between a football,
A baseball, and a basketball.
399
00:20:11,478 --> 00:20:14,347
- balls are balls.
400
00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:17,617
What about him?
401
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:21,388
- who?
- drew boyd.
402
00:20:21,421 --> 00:20:24,457
Star quarterback
For the ironmen.
403
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:26,859
[chuckles]
62% pass completions.
404
00:20:26,893 --> 00:20:30,029
Threw two touchdown passes
Last game and ran for two.
405
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,031
Led all quarterbacks
In the league in rushing yards.
406
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,600
I mean, if he keeps playing
The way he's been,
407
00:20:33,633 --> 00:20:34,767
He's a cinch
To lead his team
408
00:20:34,801 --> 00:20:36,336
To a conference championship,
409
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,772
Then to the super bowl.
410
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:43,343
What?
411
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,744
- how do you know all that?
412
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:47,480
- hmm, well,
Life's full of surprises.
413
00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:48,615
- [laughs]
414
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,016
- he's also gorgeous.
415
00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:51,884
Look at that smile
416
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:54,621
And those broad shoulders
417
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:57,824
And those burly, burly arms.
418
00:20:57,857 --> 00:20:59,392
[chuckles]
And that rock-hard butt.
419
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,693
- all right, all right,
All right, all right.
420
00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:03,696
You're drooling
All over the magazine.
421
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:09,702
Well, he is hot.
422
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:12,939
Mm, too bad he's straight.
- mm.
423
00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:16,543
A girl can always dream.
424
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:21,681
[asian music]
425
00:21:21,714 --> 00:21:29,689
*
426
00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:56,416
- excuse me.
427
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:58,885
Uh, we're looking
For something to...
428
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,453
Improve performance.
429
00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:03,423
- you a singer?
430
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:04,691
Dancer?
431
00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:06,359
Comedian?
432
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:08,761
- uh, no,
Not that kind of performance.
433
00:22:08,795 --> 00:22:12,432
Um, uh...
434
00:22:12,465 --> 00:22:13,633
Sexual performance.
435
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:14,701
- huh?
436
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:17,470
- sexual performance.
437
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,739
- sexual?
438
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:20,973
Sexual?
439
00:22:21,007 --> 00:22:23,710
[speaking native language]
440
00:22:23,743 --> 00:22:25,111
- ah, sexual.
441
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:28,047
[speaking native language]
442
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:31,851
- oh!
You not get hard?
443
00:22:31,884 --> 00:22:32,985
Come too fast?
444
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,587
- uh, no, it's not for me.
445
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:35,988
It's for my friend.
446
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:39,726
- oh, it's what they all say,
Huh?
447
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:41,127
- weak pulse.
448
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,929
- ah, low chi.
449
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:46,466
Exhausted chang meridian.
450
00:22:46,499 --> 00:22:49,001
- you have decline of fire
In your gate of life,
451
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,537
But no worry.
452
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:53,039
We make you hard, like rock.
453
00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:57,009
- look, I--I told you, it's--
It's for someone else.
454
00:22:57,043 --> 00:22:58,411
- it's for my boyfriend.
455
00:22:58,445 --> 00:23:00,079
He had to have
A testicle removed,
456
00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:01,648
And they gave him radiation.
457
00:23:01,681 --> 00:23:04,617
- oh, cancer, huh?
458
00:23:04,651 --> 00:23:06,453
[speaking native language]
459
00:23:08,187 --> 00:23:10,022
- western medicine.
460
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:13,092
Kill you before it cure you.
461
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:16,028
Too much water,
Drown out his fire.
462
00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:18,030
- mm.
463
00:23:18,064 --> 00:23:21,434
- velvet deer horn,
464
00:23:21,468 --> 00:23:23,169
Cinnamon bark.
465
00:23:23,202 --> 00:23:26,105
Warm kidneys.
466
00:23:26,138 --> 00:23:29,175
Morinda root...
- mm-hmm.
467
00:23:29,208 --> 00:23:32,044
- chinese leek seed.
468
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:34,180
Strengthen yang.
469
00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:38,985
- the rehmannia root
Nourish blood,
470
00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:43,189
And, uh, yeah, cornus flower
Moistens yin, huh?
471
00:23:43,222 --> 00:23:47,694
- make a tea.
Plenty good sex.
472
00:23:49,228 --> 00:23:51,531
- see?
I told you.
473
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:57,504
[both speaking native language]
474
00:24:00,573 --> 00:24:02,008
[both laugh]
475
00:24:04,577 --> 00:24:07,547
[tv on the radio's satellite]
476
00:24:07,580 --> 00:24:13,486
[moaning]
477
00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:25,698
- * your voice
478
00:24:25,732 --> 00:24:28,701
* was a satellite
479
00:24:28,735 --> 00:24:31,003
* spinning next to me
480
00:24:31,037 --> 00:24:35,708
* now I can't hear
481
00:24:35,742 --> 00:24:37,109
* over the radio
482
00:24:37,143 --> 00:24:40,046
* someone said
483
00:24:40,079 --> 00:24:45,251
* satellite just went down
484
00:24:45,284 --> 00:24:50,189
* under the sea
485
00:24:50,222 --> 00:24:54,794
* so I go
486
00:24:54,827 --> 00:24:59,799
* I fathom leagues
487
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:04,003
* I am the undertow
488
00:25:04,036 --> 00:25:09,275
* I wait peacefully
489
00:25:09,308 --> 00:25:11,644
* so now I'm waiting
For a signal or a sound *
490
00:25:11,678 --> 00:25:13,546
* where can you be found now?
491
00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:15,548
* where can you be found now,
My love? *
492
00:25:15,582 --> 00:25:17,016
* where can you be?
493
00:25:17,049 --> 00:25:19,018
* waiting for a signal
Or a sound *
494
00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:21,187
* I'm waiting for a signal
Or a sound *
495
00:25:21,220 --> 00:25:22,922
* where can you be found now?
496
00:25:22,955 --> 00:25:25,191
* where can you be found now,
My love? *
497
00:25:25,224 --> 00:25:26,759
* where can you be?
498
00:25:26,793 --> 00:25:28,294
* waiting for a signal
Or a sound *
499
00:25:28,327 --> 00:25:31,664
- [exhales]
500
00:25:32,832 --> 00:25:37,570
- * was that burning eye
501
00:25:37,604 --> 00:25:40,306
* went weeping gamma rays
502
00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:42,909
- [sighs]
503
00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:43,976
Your turn.
504
00:25:44,010 --> 00:25:46,946
- I'm in no hurry.
505
00:25:50,349 --> 00:25:52,985
Did anyone ever tell you
How hot you look in your undies?
506
00:25:53,019 --> 00:25:54,721
- about 300 women.
507
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:55,922
- how many men?
508
00:25:55,955 --> 00:25:57,790
- [laughs]
509
00:25:57,824 --> 00:25:59,659
- it's a shame the rest
Of the world can't see.
510
00:25:59,692 --> 00:26:00,827
- see what?
511
00:26:00,860 --> 00:26:02,261
- how gorgeous you are.
512
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:04,130
- cut it out.
- I'm serious.
513
00:26:04,163 --> 00:26:07,667
You should display
Your manly charms.
514
00:26:07,700 --> 00:26:09,736
- flash my cock in playgirl?
515
00:26:09,769 --> 00:26:13,205
- I was thinking more like,
Hmm, underwear ad.
516
00:26:13,239 --> 00:26:15,675
- [chuckles]
517
00:26:15,708 --> 00:26:17,209
You're kidding.
518
00:26:17,243 --> 00:26:20,212
- I have this friend who, uh,
Works for an ad agency,
519
00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:21,814
Says brown athletics
520
00:26:21,848 --> 00:26:23,883
Is looking
For a famous sports figure
521
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:26,352
To be
Their new underwear model.
522
00:26:26,385 --> 00:26:29,956
And you...
Have quite the figure.
523
00:26:29,989 --> 00:26:32,024
- I'm not posing in my shorts.
524
00:26:32,058 --> 00:26:34,260
Everyone will think
I'm a homo.
525
00:26:34,293 --> 00:26:36,362
- what everyone will think is,
526
00:26:36,395 --> 00:26:38,765
"I wish I had a body like that
And that someone would pay me
527
00:26:38,798 --> 00:26:40,833
All that money
To show it off."
528
00:26:40,867 --> 00:26:42,368
Come on.
529
00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:44,403
Why don't you pose?
530
00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:46,372
- here?
- why not?
531
00:26:46,405 --> 00:26:49,375
I'll snap your picture.
- [laughs]
532
00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:51,043
- come on.
533
00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:54,046
Give it up.
Show me what you got.
534
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,848
Oh-ho, yeah.
535
00:26:55,882 --> 00:26:58,918
That's it, yeah.
536
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:01,921
That's the ticket.
537
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:05,124
Hooo!
Ho, ho, ho, yeah!
538
00:27:05,157 --> 00:27:08,060
Give me some of that trademark
Drew boyd action.
539
00:27:08,094 --> 00:27:10,129
Make love to the camera.
540
00:27:10,162 --> 00:27:14,066
Yeah, that's the way.
541
00:27:14,100 --> 00:27:17,704
Make me want
To suck your dick.
542
00:27:22,308 --> 00:27:24,343
- would you stop nagging me
Already?
543
00:27:24,376 --> 00:27:26,913
I'm not going to pay $150
For a pair of jeans.
544
00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:29,816
- diesel's quality, man.
- they're ripped full of holes.
545
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:31,751
They're going to be rags
After two washings.
546
00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:35,888
- please, dad?
I mean, dude.
547
00:27:35,922 --> 00:27:37,690
- there you are.
548
00:27:37,724 --> 00:27:38,691
Hurry up and put down
Your books,
549
00:27:38,725 --> 00:27:39,926
We got to go to the mall.
550
00:27:39,959 --> 00:27:42,228
- you know, uh...
551
00:27:42,261 --> 00:27:45,031
If it's okay with you,
Uh, I think I'll pass.
552
00:27:45,064 --> 00:27:47,967
- no, it's not okay.
We had this planned.
553
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,703
- trashy movie, greasy pizza,
Overpriced clothes.
554
00:27:50,737 --> 00:27:52,071
What more can a man
Ask for?
555
00:27:52,104 --> 00:27:53,940
- I-I got invited
To a lecture.
556
00:27:53,973 --> 00:27:56,075
Edmund white.
- who?
557
00:27:56,108 --> 00:27:58,711
- one of our greatest
Gay writers.
558
00:27:58,745 --> 00:28:00,913
- who invited you?
559
00:28:00,947 --> 00:28:02,915
- anthony.
560
00:28:02,949 --> 00:28:05,451
- anthony.
561
00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:07,787
- look,
This is important to me.
562
00:28:07,820 --> 00:28:09,455
- and this is important
To hunter.
563
00:28:09,488 --> 00:28:11,457
- it doesn't take two of us
To buy him a pair of jeans.
564
00:28:11,490 --> 00:28:12,925
- that's not the point.
565
00:28:12,959 --> 00:28:14,326
- hey, hey!
It's just the mall.
566
00:28:14,360 --> 00:28:16,395
In fact,
How about you both not go
567
00:28:16,428 --> 00:28:17,964
And give me
Your credit card?
568
00:28:17,997 --> 00:28:19,465
- thank you
For the thoughtful suggestion,
569
00:28:19,498 --> 00:28:21,267
But, uh, I'm still going.
570
00:28:21,300 --> 00:28:24,370
I'm sorry you're not.
571
00:28:32,278 --> 00:28:35,014
- I'm sorry I'm late, sidney,
But it couldn't be helped.
572
00:28:35,047 --> 00:28:36,816
Gus got a fever.
Mel had to work late.
573
00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:38,084
My hands were full.
574
00:28:38,117 --> 00:28:39,385
- so were mine,
575
00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:42,989
Accepting checks,
Visa, or mastercard.
576
00:28:43,022 --> 00:28:45,024
- then it was a success?
- awesome.
577
00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:46,392
It's too bad you missed it.
578
00:28:46,425 --> 00:28:48,961
- why don't you go home?
I'll close up.
579
00:28:48,995 --> 00:28:50,162
- don't forget to turn on
The alarm.
580
00:28:50,196 --> 00:28:51,831
- all right.
581
00:28:51,864 --> 00:28:54,266
- shall we go for a drink?
- absolutely.
582
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:57,169
- how about jerry?
- that's a great idea.
583
00:28:57,203 --> 00:29:00,139
[door closes]
584
00:29:14,153 --> 00:29:17,456
- [gasps]
Oh, my god!
585
00:29:17,489 --> 00:29:18,891
You scared me to death.
586
00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:20,259
- good thing I came back
From the can.
587
00:29:20,292 --> 00:29:21,527
You would have locked me in.
588
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:23,896
- what are you doing here?
589
00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:26,198
- well, I had an opening
Tonight, in case you forgot.
590
00:29:26,232 --> 00:29:27,399
- I didn't forget.
591
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:28,467
- then where the hell were you?
592
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:29,936
- I had things to attend to.
593
00:29:29,969 --> 00:29:31,470
- don't give me that shit.
594
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:33,139
This was the most important
Night of your life.
595
00:29:33,172 --> 00:29:34,406
- oh, don't flatter yourself.
596
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,875
- your aunt minnie
Could've died,
597
00:29:35,908 --> 00:29:37,009
And you wouldn't
Have missed it.
598
00:29:37,043 --> 00:29:38,410
- I don't have an aunt minnie.
599
00:29:38,444 --> 00:29:41,013
- yeah, well, I do,
And believe me,
600
00:29:41,047 --> 00:29:42,815
If you knew her,
It's all the more reason
601
00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:45,551
You would have been here.
602
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:47,419
So why weren't you?
- I already told you.
603
00:29:47,453 --> 00:29:50,522
Now let me lock up,
So I can go home.
604
00:29:53,059 --> 00:29:55,361
- what's your rush?
605
00:29:55,394 --> 00:29:58,164
You just got here.
- what are you doing?
606
00:29:58,197 --> 00:30:00,232
- responding to my senses.
It's what an artist does.
607
00:30:00,266 --> 00:30:02,068
- well, tell your senses
To respond to this:
608
00:30:02,101 --> 00:30:03,335
Back off.
609
00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:05,905
- you sure?
610
00:30:05,938 --> 00:30:07,573
- yes, I'm sure.
- well, I'm not.
611
00:30:07,606 --> 00:30:09,909
As a matter of fact,
I think you've got a lot
612
00:30:09,942 --> 00:30:12,044
Of contradictory feelings
Going on here.
613
00:30:12,078 --> 00:30:13,913
- oh, is that so?
- yeah.
614
00:30:13,946 --> 00:30:14,914
I knew from the minute
I met you,
615
00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:16,515
You wanted me to fuck you.
616
00:30:16,548 --> 00:30:21,053
- why, you smug, arrogant--
617
00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:24,957
I want you to leave.
Now!
618
00:30:24,991 --> 00:30:27,526
- sure.
619
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:29,328
But you ain't fooling me,
Lady.
620
00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:32,131
More important, you ain't
Fooling yourself either.
621
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:34,633
- don't you dare tell me
How I feel.
622
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:36,635
You have no idea how I feel.
- yeah.
623
00:30:36,668 --> 00:30:38,204
- and it isn't true
What you said.
624
00:30:38,237 --> 00:30:40,272
- liar, liar.
625
00:30:40,306 --> 00:30:41,974
- I have no feelings for you.
626
00:30:42,008 --> 00:30:45,844
I mean, how could I?
I'm a lesbian.
627
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:49,982
- that's how.
628
00:30:52,051 --> 00:30:57,990
[both moaning]
629
00:31:00,392 --> 00:31:02,394
- oh, god.
630
00:31:18,177 --> 00:31:19,445
- oh, god.
631
00:31:19,478 --> 00:31:25,417
[both gasping, grunting]
632
00:31:33,425 --> 00:31:35,327
Oh, my god!
633
00:31:43,369 --> 00:31:45,037
- he was amazing.
634
00:31:45,071 --> 00:31:46,572
And to think,
I never would've heard of him
635
00:31:46,605 --> 00:31:48,707
If it hadn't been
For your class.
636
00:31:48,740 --> 00:31:54,146
- oh, I'm sure you would've
Discovered his work eventually.
637
00:31:54,180 --> 00:31:56,282
- I thought the part
Where he talked about...
638
00:31:56,315 --> 00:31:58,350
How being positive
Changed his life
639
00:31:58,384 --> 00:32:00,619
Was particularly powerful,
Didn't you?
640
00:32:00,652 --> 00:32:03,022
- hmm.
Oh, I'd better not.
641
00:32:03,055 --> 00:32:04,623
- aw, come on.
642
00:32:04,656 --> 00:32:06,492
Got to help me finish
The bottle.
643
00:32:06,525 --> 00:32:10,062
- [sighs]
644
00:32:10,096 --> 00:32:13,632
You know, what constantly
Impresses and amazes me,
645
00:32:13,665 --> 00:32:16,435
How when confronted
With the worst of circumstances,
646
00:32:16,468 --> 00:32:20,106
We, as gay men, somehow manage
To rise to the challenge.
647
00:32:20,139 --> 00:32:23,575
- like edmund white.
- mm-hmm.
648
00:32:23,609 --> 00:32:26,478
- like you.
649
00:32:34,386 --> 00:32:38,257
- anthony...
650
00:32:38,290 --> 00:32:41,193
If this is where all this
Has been leading,
651
00:32:41,227 --> 00:32:42,728
You've made a mistake.
652
00:32:42,761 --> 00:32:45,631
- I don't think so.
653
00:32:47,233 --> 00:32:50,069
- I have a partner.
We have a foster kid.
654
00:32:50,102 --> 00:32:52,138
- I know,
And I'm not asking
655
00:32:52,171 --> 00:32:54,606
For anything I can't have.
656
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,109
All I want...
657
00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:01,447
Is this.
658
00:33:03,515 --> 00:33:05,151
From the moment I saw you,
659
00:33:05,184 --> 00:33:08,387
I fantasized about you...
660
00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:10,389
Admired you...
661
00:33:15,527 --> 00:33:18,464
Wanted to be like you.
662
00:33:22,668 --> 00:33:27,139
That's why I want you
To give me the gift.
663
00:33:30,609 --> 00:33:32,644
- what?
664
00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:35,381
- I want you to be the one.
665
00:33:35,414 --> 00:33:38,650
- anthony--
- make me positive...
666
00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,119
Like you.
667
00:33:40,152 --> 00:33:41,387
- what are you--stop it!
668
00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:43,122
- it's going to happen anyway.
669
00:33:43,155 --> 00:33:45,391
It's just a matter of time
Before it does.
670
00:33:45,424 --> 00:33:47,393
- not if you're safe.
671
00:33:47,426 --> 00:33:50,796
- why be safe?
672
00:33:50,829 --> 00:33:54,733
All my friends who've converted
Say they feel liberated.
673
00:33:54,766 --> 00:33:57,269
Free.
674
00:33:57,303 --> 00:33:59,838
They don't have to worry
About it anymore.
675
00:33:59,871 --> 00:34:02,741
It's over.
Done.
676
00:34:02,774 --> 00:34:07,213
I want to be like them...
677
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:09,315
Like you.
678
00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:17,289
- it's late.
679
00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:20,259
I have to get home.
680
00:34:27,199 --> 00:34:31,069
[door opens, closes]
681
00:34:57,896 --> 00:34:59,331
- here.
682
00:34:59,365 --> 00:35:01,600
[groans]
Drink this.
683
00:35:01,633 --> 00:35:03,535
- it smells like yak shit.
684
00:35:03,569 --> 00:35:06,605
- yeah, I wouldn't be surprised
If that was in it too.
685
00:35:06,638 --> 00:35:10,809
It's a magic potion
From a chinese herbalist.
686
00:35:10,842 --> 00:35:12,478
- will it make me small?
687
00:35:12,511 --> 00:35:14,213
- I'm hoping...
688
00:35:14,246 --> 00:35:16,415
That it will make you large.
689
00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:19,851
Very, very large.
690
00:35:35,267 --> 00:35:38,370
- [groans]
691
00:35:38,404 --> 00:35:39,638
That's disgusting.
692
00:35:39,671 --> 00:35:43,141
- who cares?
As long as it works.
693
00:35:46,345 --> 00:35:48,280
- [sighs]
694
00:35:58,824 --> 00:36:01,760
- you feeling anything?
695
00:36:03,695 --> 00:36:05,597
- well, if you're expecting
My glasses to steam up,
696
00:36:05,631 --> 00:36:08,534
I hate to disappoint you.
697
00:36:08,567 --> 00:36:11,437
- it's supposed to rekindle
The fire in your life gate.
698
00:36:11,470 --> 00:36:13,472
- [scoffs]
My life gate?
699
00:36:13,505 --> 00:36:15,674
- I know
It sounds ludicrous, but...
700
00:36:15,707 --> 00:36:16,975
If it works,
Who gives a shit?
701
00:36:17,008 --> 00:36:18,677
- yeah, well,
Maybe it can also stop me
702
00:36:18,710 --> 00:36:20,312
From thinking
About what's no longer there,
703
00:36:20,346 --> 00:36:23,349
And that in its place
Is this piece of plastic.
704
00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:27,486
Or from picturing them
Sucking a bloody,
705
00:36:27,519 --> 00:36:31,757
Disease-ridden ball
Out of me.
706
00:36:31,790 --> 00:36:33,292
Or from feeling so shitty
707
00:36:33,325 --> 00:36:34,760
From having them
Burn me to a crisp
708
00:36:34,793 --> 00:36:36,295
With their ray gun
That all I want to do
709
00:36:36,328 --> 00:36:38,297
Is dig a hole and crawl in,
710
00:36:38,330 --> 00:36:41,733
Only I'm too busy vomiting.
711
00:36:43,402 --> 00:36:45,237
Who knows?
712
00:36:45,271 --> 00:36:48,840
Maybe then I might even
Be able to get it up.
713
00:36:48,874 --> 00:36:52,244
- there's got to be something.
714
00:36:52,278 --> 00:36:57,883
- whatever it is,
It's not a cup of lipton's.
715
00:37:29,648 --> 00:37:32,551
- [sighs]
716
00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:36,822
- you're all wet.
717
00:37:36,855 --> 00:37:39,691
How was the opening?
718
00:37:39,725 --> 00:37:41,427
- it was practically sold out.
719
00:37:41,460 --> 00:37:43,695
- oh, that's great.
720
00:37:43,729 --> 00:37:45,631
Congratulations.
721
00:37:45,664 --> 00:37:47,366
- thanks.
722
00:37:47,399 --> 00:37:51,670
- aren't you glad
I made you go?
723
00:38:06,084 --> 00:38:09,688
- as you know, I don't come here
A hell of a lot.
724
00:38:09,721 --> 00:38:10,789
I figure you got enough
On your hands
725
00:38:10,822 --> 00:38:13,925
Without hearing from me.
726
00:38:13,959 --> 00:38:17,829
But, um, this is important.
727
00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:25,537
It's about my brother, vic.
Vic grassi.
728
00:38:25,571 --> 00:38:30,342
He's gay, which seems to, um,
Bother some of the people
729
00:38:30,376 --> 00:38:32,944
You got working for you.
730
00:38:32,978 --> 00:38:34,946
But I say--
[scoffs]
731
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:36,882
Considering what's been going
On in your church lately,
732
00:38:36,915 --> 00:38:40,018
They got some hell of a nerve
Judging others.
733
00:38:44,155 --> 00:38:48,827
I'm sure you have more love
In your heart than they do...
734
00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:51,430
And that there's
A special place in heaven
735
00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:54,833
Just for vic.
736
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,902
But, uh...
737
00:38:56,935 --> 00:39:01,640
Keep an eye on him,
Just in case.
738
00:39:02,874 --> 00:39:04,910
One more thing.
739
00:39:04,943 --> 00:39:07,613
Brian kinney.
740
00:39:07,646 --> 00:39:12,050
No doubt
You've heard of him.
741
00:39:12,083 --> 00:39:14,586
He wouldn't like me
Telling you this, but...
742
00:39:14,620 --> 00:39:19,725
The biggest organ
He's got is his heart.
743
00:39:19,758 --> 00:39:22,994
So please, god...
744
00:39:23,028 --> 00:39:26,064
Make him well.
745
00:39:26,097 --> 00:39:28,033
Please.
746
00:39:31,036 --> 00:39:32,671
Well...
747
00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:34,673
I guess that's about it.
748
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:37,743
Thanks for listening.
749
00:39:37,776 --> 00:39:39,645
Amen.
750
00:39:53,592 --> 00:39:56,094
Joan?
751
00:39:56,127 --> 00:39:57,763
It's debbie.
752
00:39:57,796 --> 00:39:59,765
Debbie novotny.
753
00:39:59,798 --> 00:40:02,634
- hello, debbie.
754
00:40:02,668 --> 00:40:05,771
I'm...
Surprised to see you here.
755
00:40:05,804 --> 00:40:08,206
- well, as I was just saying,
I don't stop by too often.
756
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:09,908
But when the going
Gets tough,
757
00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:11,577
I still haul my ass
Back here,
758
00:40:11,610 --> 00:40:14,580
You know, like
A good little catholic girl.
759
00:40:14,613 --> 00:40:17,583
- well, that's the blessing
Of suffering.
760
00:40:17,616 --> 00:40:19,785
It brings us closer to god.
761
00:40:19,818 --> 00:40:21,720
- well, that's one way
Of looking at it.
762
00:40:21,753 --> 00:40:23,522
Another way is to say to him,
763
00:40:23,555 --> 00:40:27,192
"Could you cut it out already?"
764
00:40:27,225 --> 00:40:29,928
- I heard
About your brother's passing.
765
00:40:29,961 --> 00:40:31,797
Please accept my condolences.
766
00:40:31,830 --> 00:40:33,565
- thanks.
767
00:40:33,599 --> 00:40:37,135
- I remember
When I lost my sister.
768
00:40:37,168 --> 00:40:40,606
I felt like I had...
769
00:40:40,639 --> 00:40:43,008
Lost my best friend,
My confidante...
770
00:40:43,041 --> 00:40:44,476
[chuckles]
771
00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:45,811
My witness.
772
00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:48,680
- that about sums it up.
773
00:40:48,714 --> 00:40:51,550
- well, at least we have
Our children.
774
00:40:51,583 --> 00:40:53,619
That's some comfort.
775
00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:57,489
Provided they're talking
To you.
776
00:40:57,523 --> 00:40:59,024
Well...
[clears throat]
777
00:40:59,057 --> 00:41:02,160
God bless.
778
00:41:02,193 --> 00:41:05,897
- joan.
779
00:41:05,931 --> 00:41:08,967
When's the last time
You spoke to brian?
780
00:41:09,000 --> 00:41:12,638
- it's...Been a while.
781
00:41:12,671 --> 00:41:14,906
- well, you might want
To give him a call.
782
00:41:14,940 --> 00:41:18,744
- [scoffs] I doubt he has
Anything to say to me.
783
00:41:18,777 --> 00:41:22,013
- well, there might be something
You want to say to him.
784
00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:25,984
[beep]
785
00:41:26,017 --> 00:41:27,152
- I got him.
786
00:41:27,185 --> 00:41:29,888
- got who?
- drew boyd.
787
00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:31,056
He's agreed to be
The new underwear model
788
00:41:31,089 --> 00:41:32,991
For brown athletics.
789
00:41:33,024 --> 00:41:34,259
- that's wonderful, teddy.
790
00:41:34,292 --> 00:41:36,762
- [laughs]
It's beyond wonderful.
791
00:41:36,795 --> 00:41:38,630
It's incredible.
It's astonishing.
792
00:41:38,664 --> 00:41:41,299
It's...Unbelievable.
793
00:41:41,332 --> 00:41:43,001
- it's not that unbelievable.
794
00:41:43,034 --> 00:41:45,036
After all, they are paying him
A million dollars.
795
00:41:45,070 --> 00:41:46,605
- how do you know that?
796
00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:49,941
- uh, well, they are,
Aren't they?
797
00:41:49,975 --> 00:41:52,678
- yeah, but--
- why are you so amazed?
798
00:41:52,711 --> 00:41:54,813
- never mind.
799
00:41:54,846 --> 00:41:57,783
- you know, I-I absolutely hate
When you do that.
800
00:41:57,816 --> 00:41:59,284
- do what?
801
00:41:59,317 --> 00:42:01,653
- start to say something
And then say, "Never mind."
802
00:42:01,687 --> 00:42:02,954
Then I have to spend
The next ten minutes
803
00:42:02,988 --> 00:42:04,289
Begging you to tell me
What it is.
804
00:42:04,322 --> 00:42:06,024
- I never knew
It irritated you that much.
805
00:42:06,057 --> 00:42:07,893
Why didn't you tell me?
- well, what good would it do?
806
00:42:07,926 --> 00:42:10,028
You'd just get hurt and sulk.
- I would not sulk.
807
00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:11,563
- and then I'd have to spend
Another ten minutes
808
00:42:11,597 --> 00:42:13,064
Convincing you
That I love you
809
00:42:13,098 --> 00:42:14,766
And begging you to forgive me,
Which you finally would.
810
00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:16,635
So will you please just tell me
What the fuck it is,
811
00:42:16,668 --> 00:42:20,238
So we don't have to go through
The entire song and dance?
812
00:42:20,271 --> 00:42:24,042
- I forgot what it is
I wasn't going to tell you.
813
00:42:24,075 --> 00:42:27,345
- you weren't going to tell me
Why it is so unbelievable
814
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:31,049
That drewsie--
D-drew boyd said yes.
815
00:42:31,082 --> 00:42:33,652
- uh, right.
816
00:42:33,685 --> 00:42:36,254
Because I was sure
That he would say no.
817
00:42:36,287 --> 00:42:37,989
That he would
Turn me down flat,
818
00:42:38,023 --> 00:42:39,725
And then I'd have
To face brian's wrath
819
00:42:39,758 --> 00:42:41,192
For being
A wretched failure.
820
00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:44,062
- but that's not what happened.
He said yes.
821
00:42:44,095 --> 00:42:46,798
- and it's all because of you.
822
00:42:46,832 --> 00:42:48,667
- me? Wh--
823
00:42:48,700 --> 00:42:50,201
- well, you're the one
Who suggested him, aren't you?
824
00:42:50,235 --> 00:42:53,705
- oh, yeah, hmm,
I suppose I did.
825
00:42:53,739 --> 00:42:55,206
- although...
826
00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:57,843
I must've been
Pretty damn impressive
827
00:42:57,876 --> 00:43:01,613
To convince a big-time jock
Like drew boyd
828
00:43:01,647 --> 00:43:05,050
To stand around
In his shorts.
829
00:43:08,119 --> 00:43:09,955
Huh.
830
00:43:09,988 --> 00:43:12,624
- there you go.
831
00:43:14,660 --> 00:43:16,361
Professor bruckner.
- I'd like to check these out.
832
00:43:16,394 --> 00:43:18,096
- certainly.
- anthony--
833
00:43:18,129 --> 00:43:20,899
- I'm sorry
About last night, ben.
834
00:43:20,932 --> 00:43:23,001
I didn't mean to put you
In an awkward situation.
835
00:43:23,034 --> 00:43:25,771
- it wasn't so much awkward
As it was upsetting
836
00:43:25,804 --> 00:43:27,105
To learn
That what you really wanted
837
00:43:27,138 --> 00:43:30,108
Was for me to give you
"The gift."
838
00:43:30,141 --> 00:43:33,044
- you were and still are
My inspiration.
839
00:43:33,078 --> 00:43:35,113
- then listen to me.
840
00:43:35,146 --> 00:43:37,716
You have no idea what
It's really like to be positive.
841
00:43:37,749 --> 00:43:41,386
No book, no lecture
Could ever describe that.
842
00:43:41,419 --> 00:43:44,322
So please believe me when
I tell you you don't want it.
843
00:43:44,355 --> 00:43:46,391
You don't.
It's not what you think.
844
00:43:46,424 --> 00:43:48,994
- well, thanks for trying
To talk me out of it,
845
00:43:49,027 --> 00:43:51,129
But it's too late.
846
00:43:51,162 --> 00:43:53,064
You see, I went
To a party last night.
847
00:43:53,098 --> 00:43:55,033
- what kind of party?
848
00:43:55,066 --> 00:43:57,002
- it's called
A conversion party.
849
00:43:57,035 --> 00:43:59,738
I had unprotected sex
With a dozen or so guys.
850
00:43:59,771 --> 00:44:02,140
It's not the way
I would've preferred it,
851
00:44:02,173 --> 00:44:05,143
But hopefully,
It worked.
852
00:44:05,176 --> 00:44:06,878
- oh, anthony,
For god's sake...
853
00:44:06,912 --> 00:44:11,016
- they said I should know
In a couple of weeks.
854
00:44:11,049 --> 00:44:14,185
The same time these books
Are due back.
855
00:44:23,829 --> 00:44:25,296
- hey.
856
00:44:25,330 --> 00:44:30,035
- your new office
Is very impressive.
857
00:44:30,068 --> 00:44:34,305
And I like the name,
Kinnetik with two "N"S.
858
00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:37,943
That's very clever.
859
00:44:40,011 --> 00:44:42,814
I'm glad to see
You're doing so well.
860
00:44:44,750 --> 00:44:47,418
- well, that makes two of us.
861
00:44:50,355 --> 00:44:52,257
- I saw that...
862
00:44:52,290 --> 00:44:55,193
Debbie novotny
In church this morning.
863
00:44:55,226 --> 00:44:56,795
- well, what the hell
Was she doing there?
864
00:44:56,828 --> 00:45:00,799
- what most people do,
Pray.
865
00:45:00,832 --> 00:45:03,869
[chuckles]
She's quite a character.
866
00:45:03,902 --> 00:45:05,937
- yeah, well,
I'll drink to that.
867
00:45:05,971 --> 00:45:08,406
- I don't know
How her poor son ever survived.
868
00:45:08,439 --> 00:45:11,843
- maybe because she loved him.
869
00:45:17,182 --> 00:45:21,086
- and I love you.
870
00:45:21,119 --> 00:45:25,156
Well, you may not believe that,
But it's true.
871
00:45:25,190 --> 00:45:29,294
That's why it hurt so much
That I had to hear it from her
872
00:45:29,327 --> 00:45:33,298
And not from you.
873
00:45:33,331 --> 00:45:36,902
Why didn't you tell me?
874
00:45:36,935 --> 00:45:38,436
- the reason being?
875
00:45:38,469 --> 00:45:40,171
- so I could help you.
876
00:45:40,205 --> 00:45:43,842
- well, I'm a big boy, mom.
I can dress myself.
877
00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:47,846
- I meant pray for you.
Help you to see god's plan.
878
00:45:47,879 --> 00:45:49,848
- [chuckles]
God has a plan?
879
00:45:49,881 --> 00:45:53,384
- he spared you for a reason.
Do you know why?
880
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:56,387
- to torment you.
881
00:45:56,421 --> 00:45:58,189
I mean, no martyr
Was ever sainted
882
00:45:58,223 --> 00:46:01,392
Without going through a shitload
Of pain and suffering.
883
00:46:01,426 --> 00:46:06,865
Well, saint joan,
Say hello to your shitload.
884
00:46:06,898 --> 00:46:09,134
- brian.
885
00:46:09,167 --> 00:46:13,939
Whatever anger,
Whatever hatred you have for me,
886
00:46:13,972 --> 00:46:15,807
You're still my son,
887
00:46:15,841 --> 00:46:18,209
And that's why I'm trying
To save you
888
00:46:18,243 --> 00:46:20,211
From the eternal fire.
889
00:46:20,245 --> 00:46:22,280
Every time you engage
In behavior
890
00:46:22,313 --> 00:46:25,416
That the bible expressedly says
Is an abomination,
891
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:29,054
You're adding another eternity
To your sentence.
892
00:46:29,087 --> 00:46:30,922
- well, I wish
I was engaging in it.
893
00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:32,590
- it brings tears
To jesus' eyes,
894
00:46:32,623 --> 00:46:35,026
Knowing that you've sinned.
895
00:46:35,060 --> 00:46:39,464
But only you can save yourself
From god's punishment.
896
00:46:39,497 --> 00:46:45,070
- you think god gave me cancer
To punish me?
897
00:46:48,606 --> 00:46:50,241
- it's not too late.
898
00:46:50,275 --> 00:46:51,977
You can still change.
899
00:46:52,010 --> 00:46:55,246
I know you can.
900
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:57,048
- I can?
901
00:46:57,082 --> 00:46:59,117
- though it won't be easy.
902
00:46:59,150 --> 00:47:01,920
You'll have
To fight temptation.
903
00:47:01,953 --> 00:47:04,189
Be strong.
Harden yourself.
904
00:47:04,222 --> 00:47:06,257
- I want to be hard, mom.
905
00:47:06,291 --> 00:47:12,130
You have no idea
How much I want to be hard.
906
00:47:12,163 --> 00:47:14,332
Oh, lord, make me hard,
907
00:47:14,365 --> 00:47:20,205
So that I can fuck
Every hot guy I see!
908
00:47:20,238 --> 00:47:23,008
That's why god
Gave me a second chance, mom,
909
00:47:23,041 --> 00:47:25,076
So that I can use
The one ball I have left.
910
00:47:25,110 --> 00:47:27,946
- shame!
911
00:47:27,979 --> 00:47:29,647
Shame on you!
912
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:31,149
- and if I have to spend
913
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:33,551
An eternity of eternities
Burning in hell,
914
00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,353
It's better
Than spending one good day
915
00:47:35,386 --> 00:47:38,990
In heaven with you!
916
00:48:03,148 --> 00:48:05,483
[sighs]
917
00:48:08,186 --> 00:48:10,555
Thank you.
918
00:48:12,357 --> 00:48:16,027
- so in this dream,
There's this gigantic billboard
919
00:48:16,061 --> 00:48:19,998
Of you, times square,
Like, 40 stories high,
920
00:48:20,031 --> 00:48:22,300
In your underwear.
921
00:48:22,333 --> 00:48:24,402
- my agent
Said it'd be great exposure.
922
00:48:24,435 --> 00:48:26,037
- [chuckles]
923
00:48:26,071 --> 00:48:28,539
Anyway, you know
I have this, um,
924
00:48:28,573 --> 00:48:31,409
Little eccentricity
About size,
925
00:48:31,442 --> 00:48:34,012
And your crotch
Goes from, like,
926
00:48:34,045 --> 00:48:38,183
The 16th to the 23rd floor.
927
00:48:38,216 --> 00:48:41,286
So I get on this scaffolding
That conveniently happens
928
00:48:41,319 --> 00:48:43,154
To be there,
Pull myself up,
929
00:48:43,188 --> 00:48:48,026
And the amazing thing is,
The billboard comes to life.
930
00:48:48,059 --> 00:48:52,297
So I leap out onto your shorts,
Pull them down,
931
00:48:52,330 --> 00:48:55,466
And you have
This humongous boner
932
00:48:55,500 --> 00:48:59,170
That extends halfway
Across times square.
933
00:48:59,204 --> 00:49:01,606
So I climb out onto it
To give you a blow job,
934
00:49:01,639 --> 00:49:05,043
And I'm hanging off it--
Ahhh--doing my thing,
935
00:49:05,076 --> 00:49:08,213
When suddenly,
You shoot.
936
00:49:08,246 --> 00:49:11,582
Okay, it is like
This exploding cascade,
937
00:49:11,616 --> 00:49:14,752
And I ride it...
938
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:16,721
And land, safely,
939
00:49:16,754 --> 00:49:19,190
In front
Of the winter garden theatre,
940
00:49:19,224 --> 00:49:22,227
Where mamma mia!
Is playing.
941
00:49:22,260 --> 00:49:24,062
[chuckles]
942
00:49:24,095 --> 00:49:26,731
- you're a very weird guy.
943
00:49:26,764 --> 00:49:29,467
- you know what
I think it means?
944
00:49:29,500 --> 00:49:31,736
For one thing, you're
A bigger-than-life person.
945
00:49:31,769 --> 00:49:33,204
- got it.
946
00:49:33,238 --> 00:49:36,241
- and I guess
I'm afraid that...
947
00:49:36,274 --> 00:49:38,609
Once the rest of the world
Sees you,
948
00:49:38,643 --> 00:49:43,548
I'll be just another face
In the crowd.
949
00:49:51,822 --> 00:49:54,392
What'd you do that for?
950
00:49:54,425 --> 00:49:58,129
- 'cause I wanted to.
951
00:50:00,198 --> 00:50:02,100
[in your presence playing]
952
00:50:02,133 --> 00:50:05,536
- * in your presence
953
00:50:05,570 --> 00:50:08,806
* there is life
954
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:10,375
- hey!
955
00:50:10,408 --> 00:50:12,510
Mm!
956
00:50:12,543 --> 00:50:14,245
What's up?
957
00:50:14,279 --> 00:50:17,782
- it's funny you should ask.
958
00:50:17,815 --> 00:50:19,250
- whoa!
959
00:50:19,284 --> 00:50:21,652
- is that a thing of beauty?
960
00:50:21,686 --> 00:50:24,789
- [grunts]
And a joy forever.
961
00:50:24,822 --> 00:50:30,328
*
962
00:50:30,361 --> 00:50:35,200
[moaning]
963
00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:39,570
*
964
00:50:39,604 --> 00:50:42,807
So that happy-time tea
Actually worked?
965
00:50:42,840 --> 00:50:46,177
- mmm, unlikely.
966
00:50:46,211 --> 00:50:50,148
- then whence the woody?
967
00:50:50,181 --> 00:50:54,719
- let's just say that god
Gave me a second chance.
968
00:50:56,187 --> 00:50:58,289
I don't want to blow it.
969
00:50:58,323 --> 00:51:01,692
But...
You feel free to.
970
00:51:01,726 --> 00:51:05,363
- * in your presence
971
00:51:05,396 --> 00:51:07,398
* there is life
972
00:51:45,636 --> 00:51:47,272
- well?
973
00:51:47,305 --> 00:51:51,276
- you sure you want my opinion
After the last time?
974
00:51:51,309 --> 00:51:52,677
- yeah, I wouldn't
Have asked you to read it
975
00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:55,646
If I didn't.
976
00:51:56,814 --> 00:51:59,250
- okay, um...
977
00:51:59,284 --> 00:52:03,921
My honest opinion is...
978
00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:07,525
It's brilliant.
979
00:52:07,558 --> 00:52:09,894
I mean it.
- [exhales]
980
00:52:09,927 --> 00:52:12,430
- at first, I was shocked
And even disgusted
981
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:15,366
That anyone would
Actually want to be positive.
982
00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:16,934
But somehow, by the end,
983
00:52:16,967 --> 00:52:20,805
I-I really felt sorry
For the guy...
984
00:52:20,838 --> 00:52:23,941
That he could be
That lost...
985
00:52:23,974 --> 00:52:26,344
And alone.
986
00:52:30,848 --> 00:52:34,552
And it takes
A pretty amazing writer...
987
00:52:34,585 --> 00:52:37,688
To be able
To pull that off.
988
00:52:40,325 --> 00:52:43,294
- [chuckles]
989
00:53:05,650 --> 00:53:06,951
So how was the trip
To the mall?
990
00:53:06,984 --> 00:53:09,820
[both chuckling]
991
00:53:09,854 --> 00:53:12,890
- I splurged.
I bought hunter his jeans.
992
00:53:12,923 --> 00:53:14,425
- [groans]
993
00:53:14,459 --> 00:53:17,728
- and he got us something,
A cd.
994
00:53:17,762 --> 00:53:19,430
- uh, not some rap crap.
995
00:53:19,464 --> 00:53:20,998
- now, now, dear.
996
00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,468
Mustn't criticize
The younger generation's music.
997
00:53:23,501 --> 00:53:26,437
- [scoffs]
Yeah.
998
00:53:26,471 --> 00:53:29,440
[keep the flame playing]
999
00:53:29,474 --> 00:53:30,575
*
1000
00:53:30,608 --> 00:53:32,443
[laughs]
1001
00:53:32,477 --> 00:53:34,612
Oh, my--
1002
00:53:34,645 --> 00:53:36,747
Not bad.
1003
00:53:36,781 --> 00:53:39,317
- come on, you big lug,
Waltz me around the room.
1004
00:53:39,350 --> 00:53:42,320
- hmm.
1005
00:53:42,353 --> 00:53:44,755
*
1006
00:53:44,789 --> 00:53:48,726
- * I just can't tell myself
Not to love you *
1007
00:53:48,759 --> 00:53:50,795
- [laughing]
1008
00:53:50,828 --> 00:53:56,767
- * any more than I can stop
My beating heart *
1009
00:53:56,801 --> 00:53:59,404
* every moment I'm awake
1010
00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:02,773
* I'm thinking of you
1011
00:54:02,807 --> 00:54:07,378
* and hoping
That we'll never be apart *
1012
00:54:07,412 --> 00:54:08,879
*
1013
00:54:08,913 --> 00:54:14,619
* I could say,
Time to give up this fight *
1014
00:54:14,652 --> 00:54:16,354
* surrender
To what's gonna be *
1015
00:54:16,387 --> 00:54:18,923
- you know what part
Of your story I liked best?
1016
00:54:18,956 --> 00:54:22,493
- hmm?
1017
00:54:22,527 --> 00:54:24,662
What?
1018
00:54:24,695 --> 00:54:27,064
- the part
Where the gift-giver
1019
00:54:27,097 --> 00:54:31,669
Decides not to sleep
With the bug-chaser...
1020
00:54:31,702 --> 00:54:34,372
And goes back
To his partner.
1021
00:54:34,405 --> 00:54:39,076
- * and so I keep the faith
To believe love can be true *
1022
00:54:39,109 --> 00:54:44,849
* we may try to run away,
But there's nothing we can do *
1023
00:54:44,882 --> 00:54:47,918
* if it's meant to be
1024
00:54:47,952 --> 00:54:52,923
* then there's
Only me and you *
1025
00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:57,428
*
1026
00:54:57,462 --> 00:55:02,933
* I'll always keep the flame
1027
00:55:02,967 --> 00:55:08,873
* hoping you feel the same
1028
00:55:08,906 --> 00:55:13,344
* when I whisper your name
1029
00:55:13,378 --> 00:55:19,350
* it's because
I'm thinking of you *
1030
00:55:19,384 --> 00:55:21,419
*
1031
00:55:21,452 --> 00:55:26,957
* baby, my love is pure
1032
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:31,095
* I've never been more sure
1033
00:55:31,128 --> 00:55:33,864
*
1034
00:55:33,898 --> 00:55:37,101
* without shame
1035
00:55:37,134 --> 00:55:40,104
* I now proclaim
1036
00:55:40,137 --> 00:55:44,509
* I will always
1037
00:55:44,542 --> 00:55:50,381
* always keep the flame
1038
00:55:50,415 --> 00:55:58,355
*
1039
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:14,539
* so many are doubtful
And despairing *
1040
00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:18,943
* making fun of those
Who dare to dream *
1041
00:56:18,976 --> 00:56:20,878
*
1042
00:56:20,911 --> 00:56:25,182
* they say they're past
The point of ever caring *
1043
00:56:25,215 --> 00:56:27,017
*
1044
00:56:27,051 --> 00:56:32,890
* but I know it's
Not as dark as it may seem *
1045
00:56:32,923 --> 00:56:38,896
* at the moment
Trouble tries to find us *
1046
00:56:38,929 --> 00:56:43,768
* and we brace
Against the fiercest storm *
1047
00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:45,169
*
1048
00:56:45,202 --> 00:56:51,041
* it only takes
A tiny spark of kindness *
1049
00:56:51,075 --> 00:56:55,713
* to start a blazing fire
To keep us warm *
1050
00:56:55,746 --> 00:57:01,185
* I'll always keep the flame
1051
00:57:01,218 --> 00:57:05,055
* hoping you feel the same
1052
00:57:05,089 --> 00:57:07,558
*
1053
00:57:07,592 --> 00:57:09,594
* when I whisper your name
73321
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