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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:32,291 I can't believe we get to finally see a real prom. 2 00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:33,708 {\an8}You ready? 3 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,958 {\an8}Holy shit. 4 00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:40,958 Let's promise each other prom will be our night. 5 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,166 {\an8}You'll be there with the love of your life, 6 00:00:43,166 --> 00:00:45,375 {\an8}and the most popular girl in school, the prom queen, 7 00:00:45,375 --> 00:00:46,625 {\an8}that'll be me, 8 00:00:46,625 --> 00:00:47,916 {\an8}no matter what it takes. 9 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,125 Prom pact. 10 00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,208 Prom pact. 11 00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,458 {\an8}- Oh. Oh! - Oh, my God. 12 00:00:59,458 --> 00:01:01,291 {\an8}- What do I do?! - Uh, just calm down. 13 00:01:01,291 --> 00:01:04,083 {\an8}- It's gonna be fine. - I don't know how to calm down! 14 00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,666 It's okay! You're okay! I'm okay. 15 00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:07,916 {\an8}- I'm okay! 16 00:01:07,916 --> 00:01:09,000 I'm okay. 17 00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,666 {\an8}♪ Tip-toeing in the street like ballet ♪ 18 00:01:14,666 --> 00:01:16,875 {\an8}♪ Pulled up, moped to the valet ♪ 19 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:19,041 {\an8}♪ Whitewalls on the wheels like mayonnaise ♪ 20 00:01:19,041 --> 00:01:21,083 {\an8}♪ Dope, my crew is ill ♪ 21 00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:23,125 {\an8}♪ And all we need is two good wheels ♪ 22 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,333 {\an8}♪ Got gas in the tank, cash in the bank ♪ 23 00:01:25,333 --> 00:01:27,458 {\an8}♪ And a bad little mama with her ass in my face ♪ 24 00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:28,541 {\an8}♪ I'ma dope! ♪ 25 00:01:28,541 --> 00:01:30,208 I can't believe the dress that I ordered 26 00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:31,333 {\an8}four months ago never came. 27 00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,041 Do you think it's 'cause we made your delivery name Dick Shartioli? 28 00:01:34,041 --> 00:01:37,791 Maybe, but that was the only dress Luca thinks I look like a prom queen in. 29 00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:39,125 {\an8}Okay, are you ready? 30 00:01:39,125 --> 00:01:40,250 {\an8}I mean, I guess. 31 00:01:40,250 --> 00:01:41,583 {\an8}Oh! 32 00:01:41,583 --> 00:01:43,250 {\an8}- Holy shit! 33 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:45,583 {\an8}Oh, Jess, you literally look like a penis. 34 00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:48,041 Well, you look like a period. - You're welcome. 35 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,000 {\an8}Why do they even make dresses like this? 36 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,625 {\an8}It's not like anyone looks good in them. 37 00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,333 {\an8}That's fucked up. 38 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,916 {\an8}So do you wanna do sushi or pizza...? 39 00:02:02,916 --> 00:02:05,666 {\an8}Oh, I forgot to tell you, Luca actually invited me to lunch. 40 00:02:05,666 --> 00:02:08,291 {\an8}- We can drop you off though. 41 00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,500 {\an8}I would rather get in a Lyft with Thelma and Louise. 42 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:11,625 {\an8}Don't be an asshole. 43 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,791 {\an8}♪ Oooooh, Luca ♪ 44 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,166 {\an8}Hey, Hanky. 45 00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:22,583 {\an8}I'd offer you a lift, but the Beemer's built for speed, not comfort. 46 00:02:22,583 --> 00:02:23,833 {\an8}Doubt you'd fit. 47 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:26,333 {\an8}- Save me a seat at assembly. 48 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:28,041 {\an8}See ya! 49 00:02:29,458 --> 00:02:31,583 {\an8}Yeah. Hope his dick falls off! 50 00:02:32,291 --> 00:02:33,875 Fuck you, asshole! 51 00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:37,000 {\an8} 52 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,708 Just wanted to maximize 53 00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,916 our alone time together. 54 00:02:59,791 --> 00:03:00,916 Oh. 55 00:03:03,250 --> 00:03:05,000 [chuckles] Okay. 56 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,791 - I, um... 57 00:03:08,375 --> 00:03:09,708 I-- Oh, oh. 58 00:03:10,875 --> 00:03:12,041 - Oh, okay. - Okay. 59 00:03:12,041 --> 00:03:14,250 Um, I just-- 60 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,541 - What are you doing? - I just don't want our first time 61 00:03:18,541 --> 00:03:20,125 to be at 11:00 a.m. 62 00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:21,875 in a parking lot. 63 00:03:23,833 --> 00:03:25,125 Just wait till tomorrow night. 64 00:03:25,125 --> 00:03:27,791 We'll have a whole hotel room to ourselves after prom. 65 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,000 - It'll be worth the wait. - I'm not trying 66 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,208 to force myself onto you or whatever. 67 00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:33,583 - Mm! - I just... 68 00:03:34,541 --> 00:03:35,750 I want to be close to you. 69 00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,416 I want to be close to you, too. 70 00:03:38,166 --> 00:03:40,125 - So? - No, I'm sorry. 71 00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,958 So what do you want to do for lunch? 72 00:03:46,958 --> 00:03:49,541 Eh, I gotta go pick up the keg for the pre-prom, so... 73 00:03:49,541 --> 00:03:51,916 Well, you wanna hang out tonight instead? 74 00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,125 Can't, FFF. Friday family fondue. 75 00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,166 Right. 76 00:03:58,041 --> 00:04:01,041 Well, if you change your mind, I'd love to finally meet your parents. 77 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,166 Hmm. 78 00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:04,958 I can take you back to school if you want. 79 00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:07,958 Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks. 80 00:04:07,958 --> 00:04:09,041 Alright. 81 00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:33,333 ♪ Same place, different love ♪ 82 00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:36,833 ♪ Only call you up when I'm feeling low ♪ 83 00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:40,500 ♪ Champagne feels better than the real thing ♪ 84 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,041 ♪ Gimme the cash, gimme the bag, gimme the loot ♪ 85 00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:49,708 ♪ I want it all, gimme the love, gimme your heart too ♪ 86 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:52,583 ♪ No one to blame, catching the flame, just me and you ♪ 87 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,291 - Hey. 88 00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:59,333 Um, I just wanted to say thanks for sending me the trig homework. 89 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:01,083 Kinda just needed to hand something in. 90 00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,833 Didn't get a chance to finish it because of my gig. 91 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:05,666 - Jesus, are you okay? 92 00:05:05,666 --> 00:05:07,416 Just choking. 93 00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:12,708 - Did you just fart? - Nope. 94 00:05:12,708 --> 00:05:14,083 Thought I heard a fart. 95 00:05:14,083 --> 00:05:15,958 You didn't. 96 00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:19,541 Okay, uh, well, I'll catch you later. 97 00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:30,625 Yo. Yo! 98 00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:31,875 There you are. 99 00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:35,958 What'd Angie want? 100 00:05:35,958 --> 00:05:38,333 Uh, just... just talking about trig homework. 101 00:05:39,916 --> 00:05:41,125 Gross. 102 00:05:41,791 --> 00:05:45,208 Oh fuck! That sucks for her. 103 00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,166 - Where's Greg? 104 00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:48,791 I don't know, he said he had some, like, 105 00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:49,958 student council thing. 106 00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:51,666 Alright. Come on, folks, let's settle down. 107 00:05:51,666 --> 00:05:55,083 Alright, seniors. I know that some of you are planning to take things 108 00:05:55,083 --> 00:05:57,708 to the next level tomorrow night, sexually. 109 00:05:57,708 --> 00:05:59,708 - That's a word that we can use here. 110 00:05:59,708 --> 00:06:01,583 We're all adults, or almost. 111 00:06:01,583 --> 00:06:05,250 And so I've prepared a little demo to have you watch 112 00:06:05,250 --> 00:06:07,166 before you do something on your prom night 113 00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,625 that you can't take back. 114 00:06:08,625 --> 00:06:10,125 Eat a dick! 115 00:06:10,125 --> 00:06:11,250 Hey, shut up! 116 00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:14,125 - Shut your holes! 117 00:06:14,125 --> 00:06:17,375 Teen pregnancy is not a joke! 118 00:06:19,541 --> 00:06:21,666 Unless it happens to somebody funny. 119 00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:26,375 Protection is the key. 120 00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:29,083 I'm gonna show every Johnson in this room... 121 00:06:30,666 --> 00:06:34,333 ...that condoms really are one size fits all. 122 00:06:34,333 --> 00:06:36,125 Observe. 123 00:06:36,541 --> 00:06:38,958 Now imagine I am the thing in question. 124 00:06:43,250 --> 00:06:45,750 - Oh, my God. 125 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:48,125 Yeah, they should've just handed out free condoms and called it a day. 126 00:06:48,125 --> 00:06:50,458 Mm! Spoken like a true sexual expert. 127 00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:52,958 I've only done it once. That's more than me. 128 00:06:52,958 --> 00:06:56,083 God, I still cannot believe I greened out 129 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,333 and missed you meeting Johan, the dreamy exchange student. 130 00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:01,791 Yeah. 131 00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:04,750 Yeah, it's crazy that he had to go back to Germany, like, immediately. 132 00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:07,083 Like, the very next day. Sucks. 133 00:07:07,083 --> 00:07:09,166 We have one final announcement. 134 00:07:09,166 --> 00:07:10,583 Have a good time at prom. 135 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,375 And for heaven's sakes, use a condom! 136 00:07:17,458 --> 00:07:21,125 Hey, I wanted to ask you, would you be okay 137 00:07:21,125 --> 00:07:23,958 with doing pre-prom at Luca's instead of yours? 138 00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,666 The soccer team, they just, they decided to throw 139 00:07:25,666 --> 00:07:28,458 a big party last minute, and Luca's the captain, so-- 140 00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:29,708 Seriously? 141 00:07:29,708 --> 00:07:31,875 My mom planned, like, a whole thing for us. 142 00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:33,000 I know, 143 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,250 - but he's so excited. - Ugh! 144 00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,458 Fine. 145 00:07:39,458 --> 00:07:41,208 As long as we're still getting ready at mine. 146 00:07:41,208 --> 00:07:42,791 Of course. Yes. 147 00:07:44,041 --> 00:07:46,041 Yeah, well, nothing could be worse than that. 148 00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:53,958 - Is that... - Greg. 149 00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:57,708 ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 150 00:07:57,708 --> 00:08:01,291 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 151 00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:04,541 ♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 152 00:08:04,541 --> 00:08:07,833 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 153 00:08:12,416 --> 00:08:15,375 - Is he prom-posing right now? - Oh, my God. 154 00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:17,000 Please, no. 155 00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,625 ♪ Please come to prom with me, my Hannah Banana ♪ 156 00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:27,000 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 157 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,083 ♪ Please come to prom... ♪ 158 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:29,541 Oh, my God, he's getting closer. 159 00:08:30,916 --> 00:08:33,750 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 160 00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:37,333 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 161 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,708 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 162 00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:44,208 ♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 163 00:08:44,208 --> 00:08:47,125 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 164 00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:49,291 They're putting a harness on him. 165 00:08:49,291 --> 00:08:50,666 My, God. 166 00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:54,458 ♪ One foot, two foot, three foot, dance ♪ 167 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:57,583 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 168 00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:01,291 ♪ Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, dance ♪ 169 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:04,458 ♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 170 00:09:04,458 --> 00:09:05,541 Oh, God. 171 00:09:05,541 --> 00:09:09,541 Hannah, will you please go to prom with me? 172 00:09:09,541 --> 00:09:12,291 Yeah! Yes, just fucking stop! 173 00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:15,083 She said yes! 174 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,375 It's always big public displays of affection with him. 175 00:09:30,375 --> 00:09:32,041 I told him not to do that. 176 00:09:32,041 --> 00:09:34,000 He choreographed bananas for you. 177 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,208 Clearly, it came from a place of love. 178 00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,583 I've been dating Luca for four months, and I still can't even get him 179 00:09:38,583 --> 00:09:39,875 to introduce me to his parents. 180 00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,291 Consider yourself lucky. 181 00:09:41,291 --> 00:09:43,500 Can't believe you two are going to different colleges. 182 00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:45,583 Do you remember when you found out that he was sleeping 183 00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:46,916 with a lock of your hair? 184 00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:48,416 Dateline vibes. 185 00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:51,416 Yeah. I think some space will be a good thing. 186 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:53,875 No one had their phones out. 187 00:09:53,875 --> 00:09:55,541 You literally had your phone out. 188 00:09:55,541 --> 00:09:57,750 You wanna hang out tonight? Vodka Heather's throwing a party. 189 00:09:57,750 --> 00:10:00,083 Oh, God, I hope I'm the only Hannah in my program. 190 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:02,083 I do not want to be saddled with a nickname like that 191 00:10:02,083 --> 00:10:03,416 my first year of college. 192 00:10:03,416 --> 00:10:04,916 Are you kidding me? She loves it. 193 00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,416 That's actually surprisingly well done. 194 00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:09,125 She's got a really smooth lower back. 195 00:10:09,125 --> 00:10:10,333 Mm-hmm. 196 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,208 As much as I would love to see that in person, 197 00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:15,333 Greg told me to come over tonight for a "surprise." 198 00:10:15,333 --> 00:10:17,583 I'm guessing it's a shared burial plot. 199 00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,166 We can give you a ride home, though. 200 00:10:20,791 --> 00:10:22,083 Why's your brother here? 201 00:10:24,208 --> 00:10:26,625 ♪ Don't you know you make me crazy ♪ 202 00:10:28,416 --> 00:10:29,875 ♪ Pull my hair... ♪ 203 00:10:29,875 --> 00:10:31,666 I can't believe this is happening right now. 204 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,958 I know. I've known you since we were, like, five. 205 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,791 Are you thinking about five-year-old me while I'm inside of you right now? 206 00:10:38,791 --> 00:10:40,500 - That's fucked up. That's-- 207 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,750 You're sick. 208 00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:44,458 - Does sex always have this much talking? - Yeah. 209 00:10:44,458 --> 00:10:47,125 Yeah, it does when you're nervous because you like someone. 210 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,583 We can't tell Hannah. 211 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:51,666 Oh, my God, no. Mum's the word. 212 00:10:51,666 --> 00:10:53,791 Oh, great, now I'm thinking about your mom. 213 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,833 No, but imagine I came when you said that. 214 00:10:58,750 --> 00:11:01,250 That would be so weird. That would be really fucked up. 215 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:02,916 I know. That would be worse than, 216 00:11:02,916 --> 00:11:04,708 like, you thinking about five-year-old me. 217 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,041 - Hi. 218 00:11:10,041 --> 00:11:11,125 Hi. 219 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,916 Think your aux cord is busted. 220 00:11:13,916 --> 00:11:16,291 Oh, uh, there's some CDs in the glove box if you want. 221 00:11:16,291 --> 00:11:17,500 Eh, whatever. 222 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:20,583 Your music taste is all women who sound like sad ghosts anyways. 223 00:11:20,583 --> 00:11:22,791 That's... fair. 224 00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:25,875 - So when did you get back? - Uh, yesterday. 225 00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:28,625 Yeah, I, uh, actually, I got a job at the Italian place 226 00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:30,541 near our house, so I'll be here till August. 227 00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,750 - Oh. - Felt like the right fit 228 00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:35,291 because I would literally kill Hannah for a free chicken parm. 229 00:11:35,291 --> 00:11:36,708 Same. 230 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,041 Hey, um, do you guys wanna go to a show tonight? 231 00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:42,791 There's this great band that's playing a warehouse near Rutgers Campus. 232 00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,083 Should be pretty cool. 233 00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:46,375 - Uh, I-- - I can't, I'm hanging with Greg. 234 00:11:46,375 --> 00:11:49,416 And Jess is probably busy jerking it to a pic of Luca. 235 00:11:50,166 --> 00:11:52,291 - Who's Luca? - Her chodey boyfriend. 236 00:11:53,416 --> 00:11:55,500 - Oh. 237 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,166 Get your feet down. 238 00:11:58,583 --> 00:12:00,083 You were adopted. 239 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,708 Yeah, I know. 240 00:12:14,333 --> 00:12:15,625 Love you. 241 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:16,708 Love you. 242 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,583 Get home safe! 243 00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:21,166 My door's right there. 244 00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:22,875 Yeah, but you could trip. 245 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:25,500 Let's go! I gotta rock a fat piss. 246 00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:28,000 - Why didn't you go at the school? - I did. 247 00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,333 - What? - Gotta go again. 248 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,916 What is the matter with you? 249 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,041 Hi, Hannah. Come in, come in. 250 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:49,250 I'm just teaching Lucy a new trick. 251 00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,916 Come on, you don't wanna miss this. 252 00:12:50,916 --> 00:12:54,416 Lucy, what would you like for dinner? 253 00:12:54,416 --> 00:12:57,291 Duck. Rice. Please. 254 00:12:57,291 --> 00:12:59,416 Wow, she's hitting all her food groups. 255 00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:00,666 She's so advanced. 256 00:13:00,666 --> 00:13:01,833 I'd send her to university, 257 00:13:01,833 --> 00:13:03,875 but I'm so scared of the fraternity parties. 258 00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,416 She's so smart, she doesn't even need a treat. 259 00:13:06,416 --> 00:13:09,708 Her reward is communicating with Mommy. 260 00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,916 Awesome. 261 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,916 I'm gonna check on dinner. I'm cooking Ethiopian food tonight. 262 00:13:15,291 --> 00:13:17,125 - Greg should be down in a second. - Okay. 263 00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:19,625 Duck. Rice. Please. 264 00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:22,666 Please. Kill. Me. 265 00:13:22,666 --> 00:13:25,250 Why would they even give you those buttons as an option? 266 00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,541 There's my Hannie Bananie. 267 00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:30,958 Come upstairs, I have something I wanna show you. 268 00:13:31,291 --> 00:13:34,375 Please. Kill. Mommy. 269 00:13:34,916 --> 00:13:36,250 Kill. Mommy. 270 00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:38,250 Kill. Please. 271 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,083 Please. Please. Please. 272 00:13:47,291 --> 00:13:48,958 Hey, everyone, welcome back to my channel. 273 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:50,083 - So today... 274 00:13:50,083 --> 00:13:53,291 ...I have a super exciting makeup tutorial-- 275 00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:04,041 ♪ Hands outstretched, now I don't even know ♪ 276 00:14:04,041 --> 00:14:07,416 {\an8}♪ If I'm working, dying for who and what ♪ 277 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:09,833 {\an8}♪ Hands outstretched, now I don't even know ♪ 278 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,916 ♪ If I'm sleeping, living for who and... ♪ 279 00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,583 So, what musical did you wanna watch? 280 00:14:16,583 --> 00:14:18,875 And before you say it, I know we can't watch Phantom 281 00:14:18,875 --> 00:14:20,208 'cause it's "too scary." 282 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,583 You're not gonna propose, are you? 283 00:14:26,583 --> 00:14:28,041 - What if I did? - You're not. 284 00:14:28,041 --> 00:14:29,833 No! N-no. 285 00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,583 I wanted to take a smaller step first. 286 00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,916 This is from Penn State. 287 00:14:44,916 --> 00:14:46,208 Yes. 288 00:14:46,208 --> 00:14:48,458 So why's it addressed to you? You're going to Stanford. 289 00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,125 You transferred. 290 00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:55,708 I transferred! 291 00:14:57,125 --> 00:14:59,750 Now we don't have to worry about expensive flights 292 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:02,000 or missing birthdays or anything. 293 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,250 I even weaseled my way into the same dorm, 294 00:15:04,666 --> 00:15:05,958 so we never have to be apart. 295 00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:10,166 Isn't it so great? We're gonna be together forever. 296 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:13,416 Together forever. 297 00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,666 Forever. 298 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:17,875 Forever. 299 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,333 I have to go. 300 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:21,416 What? 301 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:22,750 Hannah! 302 00:15:24,375 --> 00:15:25,708 Hannah! 303 00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,916 Lucy! 304 00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:42,375 ♪ I wanna stay here and be really okay on my own ♪ 305 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:45,416 ♪ Really okay on my own, don't wanna be alone ♪ 306 00:15:45,416 --> 00:15:47,750 Okay. You can do this. 307 00:15:48,166 --> 00:15:49,291 They're gonna love you. 308 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,041 ♪ Don't wanna be-- ♪ 309 00:16:03,958 --> 00:16:05,875 - Luca? Jess?! 310 00:16:05,875 --> 00:16:07,541 - Jesus! 311 00:16:08,666 --> 00:16:10,166 I thought you had a family dinner? 312 00:16:10,166 --> 00:16:12,375 I do! I mean, I did. 313 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:15,208 I yelled at my mom for buying ham instead of prosciutto, 314 00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,833 so my parents went out without me. 315 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,250 How could you do this to me? 316 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:20,708 Look, it's not what it looks like. I barely know this girl. 317 00:16:20,708 --> 00:16:22,041 Uh, you texted me. 318 00:16:22,041 --> 00:16:23,416 Janine, I swear to God. 319 00:16:26,708 --> 00:16:29,416 I'm so sorry, I didn't know he was with someone. 320 00:16:29,416 --> 00:16:32,416 Siri, pause "Sexy Time" playlist. 321 00:16:32,416 --> 00:16:33,666 Your text was a lie? 322 00:16:33,666 --> 00:16:34,833 Not fully. 323 00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:36,833 I bet my mom would think that you have great taste 324 00:16:36,833 --> 00:16:38,291 if she knew who you were. 325 00:16:39,791 --> 00:16:41,083 You're an asshole. 326 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,250 Jess. 327 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,041 Come on, Jess! 328 00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,166 Yo, Janine, [scoffs] are you still here? 329 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,250 Could we DoorDash some 'scuitto? 330 00:16:51,291 --> 00:16:52,791 Luca cheated on me! 331 00:16:52,791 --> 00:16:55,375 No. Greg transferred to Penn State. 332 00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:56,583 What?! 333 00:16:56,583 --> 00:16:57,875 Meet at my house now! 334 00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,208 How could he fucking do this to me? 335 00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:02,125 There goes my chance at being prom queen. 336 00:17:02,125 --> 00:17:04,250 He couldn't wait one night to get his dick wet? 337 00:17:04,250 --> 00:17:06,166 I bought handcuffs, Hannah. Handcuffs! 338 00:17:06,166 --> 00:17:07,916 And yeah, I bought them from the Halloween store 339 00:17:07,916 --> 00:17:10,583 because the sex store kinda scares me, but I was gonna Google how to use them 340 00:17:10,583 --> 00:17:11,791 and blow his fucking mind. 341 00:17:11,791 --> 00:17:13,291 Like, I was gonna use them on my ankles. 342 00:17:13,291 --> 00:17:14,500 That's crazy. 343 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,041 Ugh! You know what my name is in his phone? 344 00:17:16,041 --> 00:17:17,625 It's "Jess Harrison Lee High." 345 00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:19,583 We go to the same fucking school. 346 00:17:19,583 --> 00:17:21,250 Yeah, that's crazy. 347 00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:23,458 Hannah, you've said the same thing, like, five times. 348 00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,125 Look, I know that Greg's transferring was a shock, 349 00:17:27,125 --> 00:17:28,625 but isn't it a good thing? 350 00:17:28,625 --> 00:17:30,458 Especially considering the alternative? 351 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:31,875 I'm a lesbian. 352 00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,833 I've wanted to tell you forever, 353 00:17:33,833 --> 00:17:35,375 but I could never get you at the right time, 354 00:17:35,375 --> 00:17:37,166 and I wasn't entirely sure 355 00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:39,833 'cause I hadn't kissed a girl before, so how could I know? 356 00:17:39,833 --> 00:17:42,000 But then two weeks into dating, 357 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,875 Greg went down on me for the first time, 358 00:17:43,875 --> 00:17:46,958 and I had to think of Rachel Weisz in The Mummy to cum. 359 00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:50,291 And then it was obvious, but I wasn't ready for my whole life 360 00:17:50,291 --> 00:17:52,000 to be turned upside down, 361 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:55,541 so I figured I'd go to college and get a septum ring, 362 00:17:55,541 --> 00:17:57,625 and it'd sort of sort itself out, 363 00:17:57,625 --> 00:18:01,291 but then Greg wanted to wear my skin as a coat, 364 00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:04,750 and now I can't live one more second pretending 365 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,875 that I'm not obsessed with girls. 366 00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:09,708 Hannah. 367 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,083 Hannah, I know you're gay. 368 00:18:14,083 --> 00:18:16,250 - What? - I'm your best friend. 369 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,291 And also, it's not exactly hard to tell. 370 00:18:19,291 --> 00:18:20,375 What the...? 371 00:18:20,375 --> 00:18:23,708 In fourth grade, you bought Mrs. Workowski a bottle of perfume 372 00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,333 and then when her husband came for Career Day, 373 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,458 you called him a little bitch. 374 00:18:26,458 --> 00:18:27,958 He was a little bitch. 375 00:18:27,958 --> 00:18:31,041 - He was a firefighter. - He was a bitchy firefighter. 376 00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:34,666 How come you didn't say anything? 377 00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:36,541 It wasn't my place. 378 00:18:36,541 --> 00:18:38,458 I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. 379 00:18:38,458 --> 00:18:40,916 Just like I didn't tell you I was Black until I was eight. 380 00:18:40,916 --> 00:18:43,583 And also, when you started dating Greg, I thought maybe you were bi. 381 00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:44,875 No. 382 00:18:44,875 --> 00:18:46,416 I was just scared. 383 00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:50,541 So scared, I wasted 10 months of my life giving hand jobs 384 00:18:50,541 --> 00:18:52,750 to a guy with a Glee bumper sticker. 385 00:18:52,750 --> 00:18:53,833 Oh, my God. 386 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,041 I just ran out. 387 00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,583 How the fuck am I gonna look him in the eye tomorrow? 388 00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,541 Tomorrow. 389 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:04,666 Fuck! Tomorrow is prom and we don't have dates! 390 00:19:04,666 --> 00:19:07,333 Dope! The perfect excuse not to go! 391 00:19:07,333 --> 00:19:09,458 Uh, we are absolutely going. 392 00:19:09,458 --> 00:19:12,916 Do you know how much of my college fund I spent on two dresses? 393 00:19:12,916 --> 00:19:14,291 Lashes? Shoes? 394 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:16,416 I got a Brazilian, Hannah. I don't even know what that is. 395 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,958 Did you know you have hair on your asshole? 396 00:19:17,958 --> 00:19:19,750 It is fucked up down there! Okay? 397 00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,916 We are going to prom, and we're getting new dates tonight. 398 00:19:21,916 --> 00:19:24,083 It is 9:00 p.m., Jessica. 399 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:26,083 - Prom pact. - Stop. 400 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,958 Prom pact. 401 00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:30,541 Oh, you wanna compare scars? 402 00:19:30,541 --> 00:19:34,333 'Cause this landed me in 10 months of therapy 403 00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:37,166 after my mom thought I tried to publicly commit suicide. 404 00:19:37,166 --> 00:19:41,000 We promised that no matter what, this would be our night. 405 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,208 I can't wait to go to prom with my boyfriend. 406 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:46,333 If I'm not dating someone by senior year, 407 00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:48,500 I'm gonna drink bleach and blast social media 408 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:50,875 so I can get a date with Taylor Lautner. 409 00:19:50,875 --> 00:19:53,291 Fuck, I wish I thought of that. 410 00:19:53,291 --> 00:19:56,208 That's just one part of the perfect prom night. 411 00:19:56,666 --> 00:19:59,666 We only have one shot at senior prom. One. And we are this close. 412 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,666 I mean, are you really gonna let some douchebag 413 00:20:01,666 --> 00:20:03,625 who sprays fucking Paco Rabanne on his balls 414 00:20:03,625 --> 00:20:05,083 screw up my moment in the spotlight? 415 00:20:05,083 --> 00:20:06,500 I don't know what you want me to do. 416 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,125 I don't even know what I would say to Greg. 417 00:20:08,125 --> 00:20:10,166 You are going to prom with the love of your life. 418 00:20:10,166 --> 00:20:12,500 Or as close as we can get. We're gonna find you a girl. 419 00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,625 I've never even flirted with a girl. 420 00:20:14,625 --> 00:20:16,166 I'm just supposed to ask one to prom? 421 00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:18,208 I get why prom with a dude doesn't seem so exciting. 422 00:20:18,208 --> 00:20:20,416 But what about prom with the girl of your dreams 423 00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:22,583 who you get to maybe finger in the limo later? 424 00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,291 That's your finger. 425 00:20:29,041 --> 00:20:30,708 I do want to finger the girl of my dreams. 426 00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,500 He has to be hot. Or at least hotter than Luca. 427 00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,416 Anything less is proof I'm ugly. 428 00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:40,416 Oh, my God, what about Eric Stevens? 429 00:20:40,416 --> 00:20:41,958 Who? - That kid who brought a can 430 00:20:41,958 --> 00:20:43,375 of Whiskas for lunch in ninth grade. 431 00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:45,125 You mean Cat Stevens? 432 00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,916 Oh, my God! Amar. 433 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:49,291 His parents have a private jet, and just broke up with Lisa. 434 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:51,583 Okay, yes. Calling him now. 435 00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,750 Genius. 436 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,750 I can't believe they used the one where I sneezed. 437 00:20:56,750 --> 00:21:00,041 Amar. I just was wondering who you're going to prom with. 438 00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:02,583 Yeah, no, that's great. I totally get it. 439 00:21:02,583 --> 00:21:05,125 I'm so glad you two worked it out because I heard that-- 440 00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:06,916 I-I heard a rumor that she's cheating on you. 441 00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,375 No, you didn't. 442 00:21:09,375 --> 00:21:11,208 - I did. - Yeah, you fucking did. 443 00:21:13,416 --> 00:21:15,416 Okay. Ooh! Angie Adams. 444 00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:17,083 - She's perfect. Are you kidding me? 445 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:19,291 I would die to come out at prom with someone as cool as her. 446 00:21:19,291 --> 00:21:22,458 Look, I might as well DM Sarah Paulson and ask her to prom. 447 00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:24,666 - Hannah. - It would never happen. 448 00:21:24,666 --> 00:21:25,916 Fine. 449 00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,583 Take this away from me. 450 00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:35,458 Time to text Melissa Kelly. 451 00:21:35,458 --> 00:21:36,875 - Okay, give it back. - Mm. 452 00:21:40,458 --> 00:21:41,916 "Hey. 453 00:21:41,916 --> 00:21:46,125 "Do you wanna go to prom? 454 00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:48,333 With me?" 455 00:21:49,791 --> 00:21:50,833 - Mm, mm! - What? What? 456 00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:52,041 She's typing. 457 00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:55,291 Come on! No! 458 00:21:55,291 --> 00:21:56,666 That is a lie! 459 00:21:56,666 --> 00:21:59,291 She hit, like, 42 home runs this year. 460 00:21:59,291 --> 00:22:00,666 God. 461 00:22:01,666 --> 00:22:02,750 - Bitch. 462 00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:04,916 - Hey. 463 00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:14,000 If we can't find anyone in high school, let's go to college. 464 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,875 Scarlet Knights forever! I'm never gonna die! Woo! 465 00:22:35,125 --> 00:22:36,291 Thank you! 466 00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:48,166 We get in, we ask someone, we get out. 467 00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:49,541 I'm having second thoughts. 468 00:22:49,541 --> 00:22:50,958 Maybe we should just go home. 469 00:22:50,958 --> 00:22:52,458 - I kinda want to go home. - It's too late. 470 00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,000 - Okay. 471 00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:56,958 Vodka Heather! 472 00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,041 Jess. 473 00:22:58,041 --> 00:23:00,375 - What the fuck is up? 474 00:23:00,375 --> 00:23:02,458 Damn, I haven't seen you since summer camp. 475 00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,875 I didn't know you were hot now. 476 00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:06,125 Oh, thank you. 477 00:23:06,125 --> 00:23:07,666 Um, yeah, no, anyway, 478 00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:10,083 thanks, uh-- thank you for sending the address by the way. 479 00:23:10,083 --> 00:23:12,375 We've had kind of, like, a crazy night 480 00:23:12,375 --> 00:23:13,708 - like you wouldn't believe. - Crazy. 481 00:23:13,708 --> 00:23:15,125 Yeah, whatever. Take these. 482 00:23:15,125 --> 00:23:16,208 Oh. 483 00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:18,125 In it goes, yeah. Bottoms up. 484 00:23:18,125 --> 00:23:19,583 Mm-hmm! - And get in here, 485 00:23:19,583 --> 00:23:21,916 the cops are already on my ass for pissing on the neighbor's lawn. 486 00:23:23,791 --> 00:23:26,541 Serve and protect this ass, you fucking cunts! 487 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:34,000 So, um, are there any single... guys? 488 00:23:34,666 --> 00:23:35,666 Let's just leave. 489 00:23:35,666 --> 00:23:37,250 Hey, Hannah! 490 00:23:37,250 --> 00:23:39,333 - I don't know what to do, Jess. - Relax. 491 00:23:39,333 --> 00:23:41,333 How do you even flirt with a lesbian? 492 00:23:41,333 --> 00:23:43,625 Uh, well, how would you want someone to flirt with you? 493 00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:45,541 I don't know, by, like, uh, 494 00:23:45,541 --> 00:23:48,833 giving me a-a bunch of different flowers and they all, like, 495 00:23:48,833 --> 00:23:51,000 represent the different qualities about me. 496 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,291 Wow, you are gay. 497 00:23:53,291 --> 00:23:55,125 - You're not helping. - Okay, okay. 498 00:23:55,125 --> 00:23:56,958 Just, just tell them that they smell nice. 499 00:23:56,958 --> 00:23:59,208 - Everyone wants to hear that. - Okay, yeah. Good call. 500 00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:00,291 - Yeah? - Okay. 501 00:24:00,291 --> 00:24:01,375 Okay. 502 00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:04,791 I am gonna go hit on Timothée Chalamet. 503 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:07,750 You are gonna find a hot lesbian and sweep her off her feet. 504 00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,208 - Yeah. Uh-huh. - Yeah? Okay? 505 00:24:09,208 --> 00:24:10,375 - Yep. - Alright. You ready? 506 00:24:10,375 --> 00:24:11,458 I guess. 507 00:24:11,458 --> 00:24:13,000 - Meet you on the other side. - Okay. 508 00:24:13,291 --> 00:24:14,375 Okay. 509 00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,000 How do I know who's gay? 510 00:24:44,708 --> 00:24:46,208 - Hi, Mommy. - Did you find her? 511 00:24:47,083 --> 00:24:49,541 No, she wo-- she won't pick up her phone. 512 00:24:49,541 --> 00:24:51,166 I'm talking about Lucy! 513 00:24:51,166 --> 00:24:53,333 I'm worried sick! That's your sister! 514 00:24:53,333 --> 00:24:55,000 I don't care about the damn dog! 515 00:24:55,583 --> 00:24:57,250 I'm chasing the love of my life. 516 00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:00,666 - Oh, God. 517 00:25:01,541 --> 00:25:03,083 Hannah, please. 518 00:25:03,416 --> 00:25:04,875 I know I come on strong, 519 00:25:04,875 --> 00:25:07,875 but it's just because of the amount of love I have in my heart. 520 00:25:07,875 --> 00:25:09,708 Hey, she's not here. 521 00:25:09,708 --> 00:25:11,583 Last I heard, she was with you. I-- 522 00:25:14,708 --> 00:25:16,208 - Okay. - She's-She's not with me. 523 00:25:16,208 --> 00:25:18,250 - She's not. Are you okay? 524 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:19,833 I don't know. 525 00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,833 I'm probably pretty dehydrated because... 526 00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:25,166 I've been crying a lot. 527 00:25:25,708 --> 00:25:27,125 - A lot. - Okay, okay, okay. 528 00:25:27,125 --> 00:25:29,750 Um, you stay here, okay? 529 00:25:29,750 --> 00:25:31,125 I'm gonna get you some water. Okay? 530 00:25:31,125 --> 00:25:32,291 - Okay. - Okay. 531 00:25:32,291 --> 00:25:34,041 - You gonna be okay? 532 00:25:34,041 --> 00:25:35,333 - Uh, yeah. - You sure? 533 00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:36,541 - Yeah. - Okay. 534 00:25:37,666 --> 00:25:39,125 Think happy thoughts. 535 00:25:39,125 --> 00:25:41,333 No! 536 00:25:47,791 --> 00:25:49,541 ♪ Like a Wall Street widow ♪ 537 00:25:50,916 --> 00:25:52,000 That's a good one. 538 00:25:52,416 --> 00:25:53,708 You an Angel Olsen fan? 539 00:25:54,458 --> 00:25:55,458 What? 540 00:25:56,166 --> 00:25:58,083 Are you an Angel Olsen fan? 541 00:25:58,208 --> 00:26:00,000 Sorry, I don't speak English. 542 00:26:00,416 --> 00:26:01,458 Oh. 543 00:26:01,458 --> 00:26:04,416 Oh, oh, oh, oh, si, si. Um... 544 00:26:04,416 --> 00:26:07,458 I speak a little Italian. 545 00:26:08,125 --> 00:26:12,250 I've seen the Lizzie McGuire movie like a hundred times. 546 00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:15,833 - Hmm. - Um, so, yeah, so I know some basics. 547 00:26:16,833 --> 00:26:17,875 My name is Giancarlo. 548 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,333 Giancarlo. 549 00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:21,125 I like that. 550 00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:22,208 My name is Jess. 551 00:26:22,583 --> 00:26:25,583 I'm surprised your animal instincts didn't tell you to flee. 552 00:26:26,375 --> 00:26:30,708 The evil I hold within me is palpable to most people. 553 00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,500 Totally. 554 00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,500 Hey, do you want to get a drink? 555 00:26:34,500 --> 00:26:38,375 ♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪ 556 00:26:38,375 --> 00:26:41,750 I got this. I got this. 557 00:26:41,750 --> 00:26:43,791 ♪ Forget my apartment ♪ 558 00:26:43,791 --> 00:26:44,875 Hey. 559 00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:47,375 What's up? 560 00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:51,583 ♪ I take no shit from no one, robbed two banks in Puerto Rico ♪ 561 00:26:51,583 --> 00:26:52,791 Oh. 562 00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,958 After you. After you. 563 00:26:56,958 --> 00:26:58,125 After me. 564 00:27:00,916 --> 00:27:03,500 Awesome party, you guys. Really killer. 565 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:05,416 Hi. Hi. 566 00:27:09,333 --> 00:27:10,750 Hey. How's it-- 567 00:27:10,750 --> 00:27:12,833 ♪ Yes, sir, been misbehaving ♪ 568 00:27:12,833 --> 00:27:15,333 - Dammit. - ♪ It's the law ♪ 569 00:27:18,291 --> 00:27:21,583 ♪ Oh, when the day's been calling ♪ 570 00:27:21,583 --> 00:27:24,583 - ♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪ - Um... 571 00:27:24,583 --> 00:27:26,458 Uh, you smell really good. 572 00:27:27,750 --> 00:27:30,000 Oh, sweetheart. I'm a twink. 573 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:32,250 - Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. - Don't worry about it. 574 00:27:32,250 --> 00:27:34,875 - Oh, my God. - Now I know I look good. 575 00:27:36,541 --> 00:27:37,791 I'm so sorry. 576 00:27:40,750 --> 00:27:44,291 ♪ Waking in an old cellblock ♪ 577 00:27:44,291 --> 00:27:46,208 ♪ Forget my apartment ♪ 578 00:27:46,208 --> 00:27:50,500 ♪ You won't find me ♪ 579 00:27:53,208 --> 00:27:54,458 Oh, I'm sorry. 580 00:27:54,458 --> 00:27:56,083 - Get in here. - No, no, no, it's okay. 581 00:27:56,083 --> 00:27:58,166 - I really don't-- - Get the fuck in here. 582 00:27:59,083 --> 00:28:00,291 Move. 583 00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:05,750 Mm. 584 00:28:06,166 --> 00:28:08,250 You look stressed. You want some molly? 585 00:28:08,250 --> 00:28:11,333 Actually, I'm trying to cut back. But thank you. 586 00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,166 I'm gonna go find Jess. 587 00:28:15,166 --> 00:28:17,000 - You need to get high. 588 00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,875 - What? - Here. 589 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,083 You know, I used to be just like you. 590 00:28:26,666 --> 00:28:30,000 Sad, no confidence, wetting the bed all the time. 591 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:31,166 I don't wet the bed. 592 00:28:31,166 --> 00:28:32,375 Until I became Vodka Heather. 593 00:28:32,791 --> 00:28:34,291 Vodka Heather can do anything. 594 00:28:34,541 --> 00:28:35,541 Watch this. 595 00:28:35,541 --> 00:28:37,791 - Whoa! Don't do that! 596 00:28:38,291 --> 00:28:39,583 Kiss each other. 597 00:28:41,166 --> 00:28:43,666 - See? - Yeah, I don't think I want what you have. 598 00:28:43,666 --> 00:28:45,625 You do. It's all about confidence. 599 00:28:45,625 --> 00:28:48,166 Substance-induced confidence. 600 00:28:48,166 --> 00:28:51,458 Don't you think talking to girls would be a lot easier if you were confident? 601 00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:56,208 - Fuck it. 602 00:28:56,208 --> 00:28:58,500 That's the spirit. Gimme your keys. 603 00:29:06,291 --> 00:29:07,958 - Get down here. Come on. 604 00:29:12,791 --> 00:29:14,291 Open wide. 605 00:29:18,583 --> 00:29:20,583 So? How do you feel? 606 00:29:21,875 --> 00:29:23,291 Gay as hell. 607 00:29:23,291 --> 00:29:25,208 So, do you study film with Heather? 608 00:29:25,208 --> 00:29:26,833 No, I'm not a student. 609 00:29:26,833 --> 00:29:27,916 Mm. 610 00:29:27,916 --> 00:29:30,833 After tiring of torturing my neighbor's pets 611 00:29:31,291 --> 00:29:33,791 I began attending classes to search for larger game. 612 00:29:33,791 --> 00:29:35,125 Yeah, same. 613 00:29:36,541 --> 00:29:37,708 If I am honest 614 00:29:38,041 --> 00:29:41,291 my true desire is to consume the flesh of someone pure and innocent. 615 00:29:42,250 --> 00:29:43,833 Perhaps in this way I will be cleansed 616 00:29:44,125 --> 00:29:45,958 and when I die, I will be welcomed into 617 00:29:45,958 --> 00:29:49,333 the kingdom of heaven despite my many sins. 618 00:29:49,333 --> 00:29:50,416 Yeah. 619 00:29:50,916 --> 00:29:53,708 Yeah. Hey, do you wanna go somewhere else to talk? 620 00:29:54,625 --> 00:29:56,000 - Absolutely. - Okay. 621 00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:59,000 It's time. Go get 'em, tiger. 622 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,291 Wait, how do I know who's gay? 623 00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:04,416 Uh, it's a first-year college party. 624 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:06,041 Everyone's gay. 625 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000 Okay. 626 00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:13,625 - ♪ Yeah! ♪ - ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 627 00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:14,875 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪ 628 00:30:14,875 --> 00:30:17,333 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 629 00:30:17,333 --> 00:30:18,416 ♪ Oh oh oh ♪ 630 00:30:18,416 --> 00:30:21,000 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪ 631 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:26,208 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪ 632 00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:31,375 ♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 633 00:30:31,375 --> 00:30:32,666 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 634 00:30:32,666 --> 00:30:36,250 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪ 635 00:30:36,250 --> 00:30:39,958 ♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪ 636 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:50,208 ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ♪ 637 00:30:50,208 --> 00:30:54,250 ♪ Oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, ah ah ♪ 638 00:30:54,250 --> 00:30:55,708 ♪ Ah ah ah ♪ 639 00:30:58,333 --> 00:30:59,541 You here alone? 640 00:31:00,291 --> 00:31:01,291 Yeah. 641 00:31:03,458 --> 00:31:04,791 Not anymore. 642 00:31:06,458 --> 00:31:08,208 Oh. Ooh. 643 00:31:08,208 --> 00:31:10,791 Interesting. 644 00:31:10,791 --> 00:31:13,583 - Um, yeah, no, u-uh, sorry. 645 00:31:13,583 --> 00:31:15,041 I-I'm sorry if I was too forward, 646 00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:16,708 I just, I just wanted to ask you a question 647 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:21,125 Thank you for sacrificing yourself to ensure my salvation. 648 00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:23,041 Okay. 649 00:31:23,916 --> 00:31:25,291 Yeah, no, I was wondering 650 00:31:25,291 --> 00:31:27,875 if maybe you're free tomorrow to-- 651 00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:28,958 Oh, okay. 652 00:31:28,958 --> 00:31:31,791 Yeah, do a little more of that. Um... 653 00:31:31,916 --> 00:31:34,125 My God, I am so hungry. 654 00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:39,875 Thank you. 655 00:31:52,041 --> 00:31:53,166 Oh, hell yeah. 656 00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,125 Okay, my turn. 657 00:31:58,625 --> 00:31:59,625 Cool fanny pack. 658 00:32:00,875 --> 00:32:02,625 - Hot. - Yeah, it's whatever. 659 00:32:05,583 --> 00:32:06,666 Fuck. 660 00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:09,250 You know, actually, I prefer to do it with them on. 661 00:32:10,416 --> 00:32:12,125 Who are you? 662 00:32:12,625 --> 00:32:14,583 I'm Hannah motherfuckin' Shapiro. 663 00:32:15,291 --> 00:32:17,583 Wait. My last name's Shapiro. 664 00:32:17,583 --> 00:32:19,958 It's a pretty common last name. Where are you from? 665 00:32:20,708 --> 00:32:22,708 Seattle. 666 00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,625 Wait. What's your dad's name? 667 00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:26,208 Nate. 668 00:32:27,041 --> 00:32:28,208 With the restaurant? 669 00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:31,750 - Yes. - We're second cousins. 670 00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:35,083 No, we can't-- 671 00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:38,166 Wait, was your bat mitzvah theme Twilight? 672 00:32:38,166 --> 00:32:39,416 Oh, my God, yeah. 673 00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:41,166 I guess this is why people have family reunions. 674 00:32:41,166 --> 00:32:43,291 Oh, my God. Thank God. 675 00:32:43,291 --> 00:32:44,875 - Holy shit. - You wanna just, uh, pretend 676 00:32:44,875 --> 00:32:46,250 - this never happened? - Hundred percent. 677 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:47,333 Yeah. 678 00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:49,041 Hey, did you know Aunt Marsha died? 679 00:32:49,041 --> 00:32:50,500 Jesus. Bad time. 680 00:32:52,958 --> 00:32:56,500 We got a complaint that this house was blasting Charli XCX, 681 00:32:56,500 --> 00:32:58,625 so I know somebody's snorting drugs in here. 682 00:32:59,166 --> 00:33:00,375 Let's dance. 683 00:33:01,041 --> 00:33:02,125 Shit! 684 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,041 Finally, Christ, you pay so much for data, 685 00:33:06,041 --> 00:33:07,708 you'd think Google Translate would work. 686 00:33:08,541 --> 00:33:10,291 Okay, um... 687 00:33:10,291 --> 00:33:11,375 Uh... 688 00:33:11,375 --> 00:33:13,708 Will you go to the dance with me? 689 00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,666 - Oh, shit! Sorry. - Oh, my God! 690 00:33:15,666 --> 00:33:17,708 - Hannah! - The cops are here! We gotta go! 691 00:33:18,250 --> 00:33:19,250 They have found me 692 00:33:19,750 --> 00:33:21,750 and just before my first human sacrifice. 693 00:33:22,333 --> 00:33:24,375 Perhaps tonight I will face my final judgement. 694 00:33:25,250 --> 00:33:26,708 But not without a chase. 695 00:33:30,291 --> 00:33:31,541 Was that guy trying to kill you? 696 00:33:31,541 --> 00:33:33,416 Look, it was either that or intense sexual chemistry, 697 00:33:33,416 --> 00:33:34,541 and I was willing to find out. 698 00:33:34,541 --> 00:33:35,708 - Oh, come on. 699 00:33:35,708 --> 00:33:36,916 Eat glass, pigs. 700 00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,833 - Run! 701 00:33:38,833 --> 00:33:39,916 Great party! 702 00:33:47,791 --> 00:33:48,791 No, wait. Come on. 703 00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:54,708 Shit, shit, shit. What do we do? 704 00:33:54,708 --> 00:33:56,000 I snorted a bunch of drugs. 705 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,125 If they test me, I'm going to jail for sure. 706 00:33:58,125 --> 00:33:59,625 What do you think they're gonna do to me? 707 00:33:59,625 --> 00:34:01,250 I'm a Black teenager who broke a minor law, 708 00:34:01,250 --> 00:34:02,583 I'm their wet fuckin' dream. 709 00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:05,041 - We gotta go over. Oh, fuck. 710 00:34:05,041 --> 00:34:06,750 If we double bounce, we can get enough air 711 00:34:06,750 --> 00:34:07,833 to clear the fence. 712 00:34:09,791 --> 00:34:11,083 - I got you. - Okay, okay, thanks. 713 00:34:11,083 --> 00:34:12,458 Okay. 714 00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:15,041 Ready? Ninja kick over the fence. 715 00:34:15,041 --> 00:34:16,916 - Hiya! - Yeah, like that, like that. Yeah. 716 00:34:16,916 --> 00:34:18,041 - Hiya! - Ya! 717 00:34:18,041 --> 00:34:19,166 Oh, this is fun! 718 00:34:19,166 --> 00:34:20,583 - Hey, shut up! 719 00:34:20,583 --> 00:34:22,541 Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I think I'm still pretty high. 720 00:34:22,541 --> 00:34:24,750 Give me your hands. Okay, we hop two, turn, 721 00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:26,375 - and count, okay? - Okay. Ah! 722 00:34:26,791 --> 00:34:29,166 One, two, three! 723 00:34:37,291 --> 00:34:39,375 Holy shit. Oh, my God. 724 00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:41,625 We fucking did it! 725 00:34:41,625 --> 00:34:42,750 You're a genius! 726 00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:44,166 I never should have doubted you. 727 00:34:48,541 --> 00:34:49,541 Are you... 728 00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,458 girls? 729 00:34:54,333 --> 00:34:55,666 Yes. 730 00:35:05,666 --> 00:35:07,166 Alright, pace yourself. 731 00:35:08,708 --> 00:35:10,583 - Thanks, Jacob. - Yeah. 732 00:35:10,583 --> 00:35:12,041 You have a really calming presence. 733 00:35:12,041 --> 00:35:15,041 I think it's 'cause you remind me of, of... 734 00:35:15,041 --> 00:35:17,458 O-Okay, okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay. 735 00:35:17,458 --> 00:35:20,916 Look, I-I'm-I'm sure everything is, is gonna work out 736 00:35:20,916 --> 00:35:23,291 exactly how it's supposed to, you know? 737 00:35:23,291 --> 00:35:25,333 And ma-maybe Hannah just needs some time to think. 738 00:35:25,333 --> 00:35:27,458 You know, hav-haven't you ever needed time away from her 739 00:35:27,458 --> 00:35:29,458 - to-to-to process or just-- - No. 740 00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:31,666 I would live in her pocket if I could. 741 00:35:32,666 --> 00:35:34,750 Okay. Okay. 742 00:35:34,750 --> 00:35:37,000 I'm-I'm sorry, Jacob. It's just... 743 00:35:37,000 --> 00:35:38,583 - No, no. It's-- - I don't mean to be a burden. 744 00:35:38,583 --> 00:35:41,333 I just, I-I can't be alone right now. 745 00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:43,500 I just can't. 746 00:35:44,041 --> 00:35:46,375 Hey, um, I was gonna go to a concert tonight. 747 00:35:46,708 --> 00:35:48,166 Do you want to come with me to that? 748 00:35:48,166 --> 00:35:49,750 - Thank you! - Oh! 749 00:35:49,750 --> 00:35:51,333 Oh, please. 750 00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,375 - Okay. - Can we hold hands in the car? 751 00:35:57,916 --> 00:36:00,083 Oh, your hair's straight again. Cool. 752 00:36:01,083 --> 00:36:03,416 Uh... thanks. 753 00:36:04,375 --> 00:36:06,875 Sorry we had to crash your party. We kind of had no choice. 754 00:36:06,875 --> 00:36:09,708 But, you know, without you guys, we probably would be arrested right now. 755 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,625 Actually, I'd say us somersaulting 756 00:36:11,625 --> 00:36:13,625 through the air is what saved us, but, you know... 757 00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,041 Yeah, thank you so much. 758 00:36:16,041 --> 00:36:18,958 Are you kidding? You babes are the ones helping us out. 759 00:36:18,958 --> 00:36:21,208 This was supposed to be our frat's big end of year kegger, 760 00:36:21,208 --> 00:36:24,250 but, [burps] none of the sororities we invited showed up, so... 761 00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:26,416 One, two, three. 762 00:36:27,500 --> 00:36:29,041 For the boys! 763 00:36:29,041 --> 00:36:30,416 You're not coming tonight? 764 00:36:30,833 --> 00:36:34,166 Okay, looks like I took that mandatory consent course for nothing. 765 00:36:36,916 --> 00:36:38,041 Wonder why. 766 00:36:38,541 --> 00:36:41,166 - I'm Jess by the way. - Reggie. 767 00:36:41,541 --> 00:36:43,791 So, do you ladies want me to get you some drinks? 768 00:36:43,791 --> 00:36:45,166 Um, we should really be going. 769 00:36:45,166 --> 00:36:48,041 And our parents know our exact locations, 770 00:36:48,041 --> 00:36:49,958 so they'd be able to find us 771 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:52,541 if for some reason we were blocked from leaving. 772 00:36:53,791 --> 00:36:57,333 - Huh. She's just-- 773 00:36:57,333 --> 00:36:59,041 She's just kidding. 774 00:36:59,041 --> 00:37:01,791 Hannah, Hannah, can I, can I talk to you over there for a sec? 775 00:37:09,166 --> 00:37:11,250 - I think we should stay. - Are you serious? 776 00:37:11,250 --> 00:37:14,333 Frat bros are, like, the most rapey subgroup of men. 777 00:37:14,916 --> 00:37:17,250 I don't get that vibe from Reggie. He seems honest. 778 00:37:17,625 --> 00:37:19,833 God, you have horrible taste in men. 779 00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:21,541 I promise I'll be quick, okay? 780 00:37:21,541 --> 00:37:23,958 I'm ju-- I'll-I'll just feel him out and then ask him right away. 781 00:37:23,958 --> 00:37:28,125 And then we can find the gayest, queerest co-op 782 00:37:28,125 --> 00:37:31,166 slash poetry slam slash vegan restaurant you can imagine. 783 00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,500 Come on, he's a hot college guy. 784 00:37:33,500 --> 00:37:36,000 Everyone would freak if I brought him to prom. 785 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:37,208 Please, Hans. 786 00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:38,375 Fine. 787 00:37:38,750 --> 00:37:40,500 - You're the best. - I know. 788 00:37:41,208 --> 00:37:42,375 Hey, wanna play beer pong? 789 00:37:42,375 --> 00:37:44,166 Rock 'n' roll. Table's this way. 790 00:37:44,750 --> 00:37:46,125 Okay, you know what? 791 00:37:46,125 --> 00:37:48,500 Keep your location on, just in case. 792 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:49,750 Yes, Mommy. 793 00:37:55,875 --> 00:37:57,750 Hey, so I was wondering if maybe-- 794 00:37:57,750 --> 00:38:00,125 - I'm gay. - Coolio. Cool. 795 00:38:00,833 --> 00:38:01,916 Gay is good. 796 00:38:02,666 --> 00:38:05,000 - In-- So you're into sports, then? - I'm gonna go inside. 797 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,333 Yeah. Right on. 798 00:38:12,291 --> 00:38:13,958 The childhood nursery rhyme 799 00:38:13,958 --> 00:38:18,333 "Lemur Lemur, Femur Femur" has long delighted fans 800 00:38:18,333 --> 00:38:23,166 of these petite, wide-eyed, sharply snouted coconut enthusiasts. 801 00:38:23,166 --> 00:38:26,083 While some lemurs are active during the day, 802 00:38:26,083 --> 00:38:28,208 some can be quite active at night... 803 00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:42,500 Ugh. 804 00:39:05,541 --> 00:39:07,458 Oh, fuck. 805 00:39:26,916 --> 00:39:28,208 Ugh! 806 00:39:30,958 --> 00:39:33,166 - Damn, you're pretty good at this. What can I say? 807 00:39:33,166 --> 00:39:36,166 When I know what I want, nothing stops me from getting it. 808 00:39:36,166 --> 00:39:38,875 Same. You know, I actually didn't get into college, 809 00:39:38,875 --> 00:39:40,875 so I just started showing up to the classes. 810 00:39:40,875 --> 00:39:42,375 Now they have to give me a degree. 811 00:39:42,375 --> 00:39:45,291 Mm. You wanna play another round? 812 00:39:45,291 --> 00:39:46,625 Let's do it. 813 00:39:46,625 --> 00:39:48,750 The stripper's here! 814 00:39:51,416 --> 00:39:54,375 Uh, wanna go up to my room instead? 815 00:39:54,375 --> 00:39:55,958 Yeah. Uh, sure. 816 00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:57,166 Alright, cool. 817 00:39:58,375 --> 00:40:01,250 Alright, Jess, it's time to get freaky. Time to get freaky for a prom date. 818 00:40:02,416 --> 00:40:03,958 I feel like a woman in STEM right now. 819 00:40:03,958 --> 00:40:05,916 Fucking sisters doin' it for themselves. 820 00:40:06,416 --> 00:40:07,416 Okay. 821 00:40:25,125 --> 00:40:26,333 Jesus. 822 00:40:26,333 --> 00:40:28,291 Uh, s-sorry. Guess I'll just-- 823 00:40:28,291 --> 00:40:32,000 Um, can I-- Can-- 824 00:40:32,791 --> 00:40:33,791 Fuck. 825 00:40:36,791 --> 00:40:38,833 Alright, listen up, boys! 826 00:40:38,833 --> 00:40:40,041 This is Lexi. 827 00:40:40,041 --> 00:40:41,125 Hi. 828 00:40:41,125 --> 00:40:43,791 Uh, tip well and be respectful 'cause she's a dancer 829 00:40:43,791 --> 00:40:46,208 from the only company that hasn't blacklisted our frat yet. 830 00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:49,708 Oh, thanks. 831 00:40:56,416 --> 00:40:57,833 Oh, sh-- Okay. 832 00:40:57,833 --> 00:40:59,000 Oh, my God. Um... 833 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,083 ♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪ 834 00:41:00,083 --> 00:41:02,500 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 835 00:41:02,500 --> 00:41:04,375 ♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪ 836 00:41:04,375 --> 00:41:06,916 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 837 00:41:06,916 --> 00:41:08,291 ♪ Clock, tick tock... ♪ 838 00:41:08,291 --> 00:41:09,500 Wow. 839 00:41:10,791 --> 00:41:12,000 You're quite the athlete. 840 00:41:12,333 --> 00:41:13,416 Thanks. 841 00:41:13,416 --> 00:41:15,250 I know, my coach says one more concussion 842 00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:16,541 and I'll have to learn to read again. 843 00:41:16,541 --> 00:41:18,000 Oh, that's awful. 844 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,125 I know. 845 00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:21,000 It was so hard the first time. 846 00:41:22,833 --> 00:41:24,375 Wanna come sit? 847 00:41:24,375 --> 00:41:27,000 I actually need a little help with something. 848 00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:29,041 Yes. 849 00:41:29,458 --> 00:41:31,250 - Just sitting on your bed. 850 00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:34,125 - Okay. Uh... 851 00:41:41,166 --> 00:41:43,541 Sorry, they're here somewhere. 852 00:41:43,541 --> 00:41:46,208 Oh, no, take your time. Protection is key. 853 00:41:48,666 --> 00:41:49,833 ♪ What you want? ♪ 854 00:41:49,833 --> 00:41:51,291 ♪ He can speak, but you know... ♪ 855 00:41:51,291 --> 00:41:54,083 Um, my bubbe gave me this hundred dollars for graduating. Just-- 856 00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:56,041 Aren't you generous? 857 00:41:56,041 --> 00:41:58,208 Boobies! Boobies! 858 00:41:58,208 --> 00:42:01,166 Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! 859 00:42:01,166 --> 00:42:03,500 Boobies! Boobies! 860 00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:07,708 Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! Boobies! 861 00:42:07,708 --> 00:42:10,083 There they are. 862 00:42:10,750 --> 00:42:12,500 - Let's go. - I'm ready. 863 00:42:13,583 --> 00:42:14,583 What? 864 00:42:15,166 --> 00:42:17,500 I wanted your help to write an email to my mom. 865 00:42:18,166 --> 00:42:19,583 - What? - All the concussions make me 866 00:42:19,583 --> 00:42:21,125 super sensitive to light. 867 00:42:21,125 --> 00:42:22,208 Did I say that already? 868 00:42:22,208 --> 00:42:24,833 I-I can't look at a screen for more than 10 minutes. 869 00:42:24,833 --> 00:42:27,416 Oh. Yeah, no. Uh... 870 00:42:27,416 --> 00:42:29,791 That's-- I, I just thought... 871 00:42:29,791 --> 00:42:31,625 Uh, I mean... 872 00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:34,583 ...we can do it if you want. 873 00:42:35,166 --> 00:42:37,916 Um, actually, uh, I-I was just, I was gonna see 874 00:42:37,916 --> 00:42:39,333 if you wanted to go to prom? 875 00:42:39,333 --> 00:42:42,000 Wait, you want to go to prom with me? I'd love to. 876 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:43,625 Boobies! Boobies! 877 00:42:43,625 --> 00:42:45,625 Boobies! Boobies! 878 00:42:45,625 --> 00:42:46,875 Will you go to prom with me? 879 00:42:46,875 --> 00:42:48,375 What was that, sweetheart? 880 00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:49,958 Boobies! Boobies! 881 00:42:49,958 --> 00:42:51,583 Boobies! Boobies! 882 00:42:51,583 --> 00:42:53,375 - Boobies! Boobies! 883 00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:54,458 Are you serious? 884 00:42:54,458 --> 00:42:56,791 Yeah. We'll have the best night of our lives. 885 00:42:59,541 --> 00:43:00,541 Reggie? 886 00:43:00,541 --> 00:43:02,125 Boobies! Boobies! 887 00:43:02,125 --> 00:43:05,333 I get the feeling that you boys want me 888 00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:06,416 to take my top off. 889 00:43:06,416 --> 00:43:08,458 Yeah! 890 00:43:08,458 --> 00:43:10,916 No, no, no, no, no. That's okay. You really don't have to do that. 891 00:43:21,333 --> 00:43:22,583 ♪ Clock, ding dong ♪ 892 00:43:22,583 --> 00:43:25,458 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 893 00:43:53,791 --> 00:43:56,541 I don't feel so good. 894 00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:01,708 [echoing] What? 895 00:44:02,541 --> 00:44:04,375 [echoing] I said... 896 00:44:05,333 --> 00:44:09,291 I don't feel so... 897 00:44:09,791 --> 00:44:11,291 Oh! 898 00:44:11,666 --> 00:44:12,666 Reggie? 899 00:44:14,041 --> 00:44:16,416 Help! Help! 900 00:44:17,833 --> 00:44:19,541 ♪ But you know I'm hangin' up the phone ♪ 901 00:44:19,541 --> 00:44:21,750 ♪ And if I really gotta do it on my own ♪ 902 00:44:21,750 --> 00:44:24,583 ♪ I tell him so what, I'm better off alone ♪ 903 00:44:24,583 --> 00:44:26,250 ♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪ 904 00:44:26,250 --> 00:44:27,666 Are you okay, sweetie? 905 00:44:28,791 --> 00:44:30,375 Oh! 906 00:44:30,375 --> 00:44:31,750 ♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪ 907 00:44:31,750 --> 00:44:34,125 ♪ Y'all need to set your watch after my clock ♪ 908 00:44:34,125 --> 00:44:35,416 Oh, my God. 909 00:44:42,666 --> 00:44:45,166 No. No, no, no. No. 910 00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:47,708 You're gonna get us blacklisted. 911 00:44:49,791 --> 00:44:52,583 Oh! - I'm so sorry. 912 00:44:58,291 --> 00:45:00,250 - Jess? [muffled] Help! 913 00:45:00,250 --> 00:45:01,416 - Jess? Hannah! 914 00:45:01,416 --> 00:45:02,833 Jess! I hear you! 915 00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:04,333 - Jess? - Hannah, I'm over here! 916 00:45:05,916 --> 00:45:07,041 - Oh, my God. 917 00:45:07,041 --> 00:45:08,208 Oh, I thought you were dead. 918 00:45:09,333 --> 00:45:10,833 - What happened? 919 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:13,500 - Oh, my God! Hannah! 920 00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:14,875 Get off my best friend, you creep! 921 00:45:16,708 --> 00:45:17,750 I saved you. 922 00:45:17,750 --> 00:45:20,500 No, you idiot, he was gonna go to prom with me! 923 00:45:20,500 --> 00:45:22,083 Why were you screaming for help? 924 00:45:22,083 --> 00:45:23,916 - Are you bleeding? - Yes! We need to leave. 925 00:45:23,916 --> 00:45:25,125 - Like, now! - Okay, okay, okay. 926 00:45:25,125 --> 00:45:26,416 - Just get him off of me. - Okay! 927 00:45:28,375 --> 00:45:29,791 Pardon me. 928 00:45:29,791 --> 00:45:30,875 - Oh, my foot, my foot. - Okay. 929 00:45:30,875 --> 00:45:32,000 No, I got you. I got you. 930 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,083 - Come here. - Okay. 931 00:45:33,083 --> 00:45:34,458 - Yep. Pull, just pull. Ah! 932 00:45:34,458 --> 00:45:35,791 My God! 933 00:45:35,791 --> 00:45:37,000 You don't need to scream. 934 00:45:37,416 --> 00:45:38,875 - Okay, let's go. Come on. - Okay. 935 00:45:38,875 --> 00:45:40,291 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 936 00:45:40,875 --> 00:45:41,916 One second. 937 00:45:45,500 --> 00:45:47,541 - Hey, can you get a landscape of us-- 938 00:45:47,541 --> 00:45:49,416 - Are you fucking kidding me? - Okay, okay, okay, okay! 939 00:45:50,500 --> 00:45:52,833 Oh, my God, I was so close. 940 00:45:52,833 --> 00:45:54,083 What happened back there? 941 00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:55,833 Well, let me think. 942 00:45:55,833 --> 00:46:00,375 Um, you ditched me for a man with the IQ of a ham sandwich, 943 00:46:00,375 --> 00:46:04,208 and then I sneezed blood all over a beautiful woman, so... 944 00:46:04,208 --> 00:46:05,291 Fuck. 945 00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:07,083 You know what, I'm just-- 946 00:46:08,791 --> 00:46:11,708 This night is over, and I'm just, I'm gonna go home. 947 00:46:14,333 --> 00:46:15,708 Where are my keys? 948 00:46:17,666 --> 00:46:19,250 Where the fuck are my-- 949 00:46:19,250 --> 00:46:20,333 Fuck! 950 00:46:20,916 --> 00:46:23,375 Oh, my God, I left them at Heather's after doing that bump. 951 00:46:23,375 --> 00:46:24,666 - Hannah. It's okay. 952 00:46:24,666 --> 00:46:26,416 We're just gonna find another party really quick, 953 00:46:26,416 --> 00:46:28,416 I'm gonna grab a date, and then boom, we're out of there. 954 00:46:28,416 --> 00:46:29,958 What the fuck are you talking about? 955 00:46:29,958 --> 00:46:33,500 I fucked my face, Jess. It's over. 956 00:46:33,500 --> 00:46:35,083 - Hannah, come on, let's just-- - No, no. 957 00:46:35,083 --> 00:46:36,750 We're meeting up with Jacob to grab his keys. 958 00:46:36,750 --> 00:46:39,708 And then you can do whatever you want, okay? 959 00:46:39,708 --> 00:46:41,625 Wait. Wait, you're calling Jacob? 960 00:46:45,041 --> 00:46:46,791 ♪ You had your chance, now set me free ♪ 961 00:46:46,791 --> 00:46:49,750 ♪ There's nothing left, I've got to leave ♪ 962 00:46:49,750 --> 00:46:52,416 ♪ And now when you reach out, you'll see ♪ 963 00:46:52,416 --> 00:46:56,166 - ♪ I won't be by your side ♪ [chanting] Chug! Chug! Chug! 964 00:46:56,166 --> 00:46:57,875 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 965 00:46:57,875 --> 00:47:00,916 - ♪ I can't be by your side ♪ 966 00:47:00,916 --> 00:47:03,125 That's something that you gotta learn as a young person. 967 00:47:03,125 --> 00:47:05,125 But they told me that my cartilage is too weak 968 00:47:05,125 --> 00:47:06,500 to handle a punch. 969 00:47:06,500 --> 00:47:09,458 Oh, speaking of fighting, I actually asked Mr. Sanchez 970 00:47:09,458 --> 00:47:12,166 to pair me and Hannah up in the self-defense class. 971 00:47:12,166 --> 00:47:14,500 Little did I know she has a mean right hook. 972 00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:16,375 Knocked me clean out. Concussed. 973 00:47:16,375 --> 00:47:17,541 Never been the same. 974 00:47:17,541 --> 00:47:20,375 But she actually carried me to the nurse's office, 975 00:47:20,375 --> 00:47:21,541 and that was that. 976 00:47:21,541 --> 00:47:24,416 That's when I knew she was the one for me. 977 00:47:24,416 --> 00:47:27,375 I actually still have that gym shirt with the blood on it. 978 00:47:27,375 --> 00:47:29,333 - Yeah, I never washed it. - Wow. 979 00:47:29,333 --> 00:47:30,875 Never will wash it, actually. 980 00:47:30,875 --> 00:47:33,250 - Yeah. - Wow, that-that is crazy. 981 00:47:33,791 --> 00:47:37,666 Hey, um, why don't you go grab us some drinks from the bar? 982 00:47:37,666 --> 00:47:40,083 - Huh? - Oh, no problemo, Jakey. 983 00:47:40,541 --> 00:47:44,375 You know, it's bonkers that it's taken us this long to hang out one on one. 984 00:47:44,375 --> 00:47:46,666 We have such great chemistry. 985 00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,375 Okay. 986 00:47:48,375 --> 00:47:50,208 - ♪ By your side! ♪ 987 00:47:50,208 --> 00:47:52,208 - Hannah. - Yo. Where are you on campus? 988 00:47:52,208 --> 00:47:53,500 I need to borrow your keys. 989 00:47:53,500 --> 00:47:55,041 Hannah, let's just, like, ring the doorbell 990 00:47:55,041 --> 00:47:56,125 until your parents wake up. 991 00:47:56,125 --> 00:47:57,666 Richardson and Wyckoff. Okay. 992 00:47:57,666 --> 00:47:59,750 Yeah, we're, like, 10 minutes' walk from there. 993 00:48:00,708 --> 00:48:02,000 Okay. 994 00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:04,208 Yeah, I'm with her right now. Why? 995 00:48:04,666 --> 00:48:06,041 - What the fuck? 996 00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:07,541 Hello? 997 00:48:08,333 --> 00:48:09,458 Hannah, can-- 998 00:48:11,250 --> 00:48:12,333 Okay. 999 00:48:12,333 --> 00:48:13,416 I'm sorry. 1000 00:48:13,416 --> 00:48:16,291 If that was some ploy to try and get me 1001 00:48:16,291 --> 00:48:17,708 - to stay out with you... - No. 1002 00:48:17,708 --> 00:48:19,958 ...know it extremely isn't working! 1003 00:48:19,958 --> 00:48:21,833 I'm sorry, I thought he was gonna say something. 1004 00:48:21,833 --> 00:48:23,166 What are you talking about? 1005 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,375 I had sex with Jacob. 1006 00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:29,541 When? 1007 00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,666 When we visited him in January. 1008 00:48:31,666 --> 00:48:34,916 No, that's when you had your one-night stand with Johan. 1009 00:48:35,625 --> 00:48:36,625 S-- 1010 00:48:37,750 --> 00:48:39,916 - Johan is Jacob? - I-- 1011 00:48:39,916 --> 00:48:42,541 Thanks for making our two-year anniversary so special. 1012 00:48:42,541 --> 00:48:43,625 - Boo-boo. 1013 00:48:43,625 --> 00:48:45,416 No, you didn't. - The night's not over yet. 1014 00:48:45,416 --> 00:48:47,333 Yes, I did. Hannah. - Why don't you make a wish? 1015 00:48:48,875 --> 00:48:51,083 - Okay, I'll make a wish. Okay. - Throw it in there. 1016 00:48:51,083 --> 00:48:53,208 - Oh, my God! 1017 00:48:53,208 --> 00:48:54,708 I-I didn't know what else to do. 1018 00:48:54,708 --> 00:48:58,208 I didn't wanna lie to my best friend about doing it for the first time, 1019 00:48:58,208 --> 00:48:59,958 but then I knew I couldn't tell you it was Jacob 1020 00:48:59,958 --> 00:49:01,125 'cause then you'd get upset. 1021 00:49:01,125 --> 00:49:03,041 Yeah? Well, 'cause we, you know, 1022 00:49:03,041 --> 00:49:05,000 talked in graphic detail about that night. 1023 00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:08,125 And I literally hyped you up about riding the D. 1024 00:49:08,125 --> 00:49:13,000 And now you're telling me the D you rode was my-- Uh. 1025 00:49:17,416 --> 00:49:19,291 - Oh, God. I think I-I might have 1026 00:49:19,291 --> 00:49:20,666 genuine feelings for-- 1027 00:49:20,666 --> 00:49:23,083 I kissed my cousin 'cause of you, 1028 00:49:23,083 --> 00:49:25,416 you fucking brother fucker! 1029 00:49:25,416 --> 00:49:27,041 - You kissed your what? 1030 00:49:27,041 --> 00:49:28,458 She kissed her cousin? 1031 00:49:28,458 --> 00:49:30,166 - I saw a show about this. 1032 00:49:31,458 --> 00:49:32,583 Oh, God. 1033 00:49:32,583 --> 00:49:34,375 Oh, God. Let's just find a different fountain. 1034 00:49:34,375 --> 00:49:36,208 That was my last quarter. Oh! 1035 00:49:36,208 --> 00:49:37,625 Oh, God. No, no. 1036 00:49:37,625 --> 00:49:39,083 Oh, my God. 1037 00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:41,875 You're a horrible friend. 1038 00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:44,250 This whole shitty night only happened 1039 00:49:44,250 --> 00:49:46,750 'cause you're obsessed with having the perfect prom night. 1040 00:49:46,750 --> 00:49:49,666 - You wanted to find a date too. - Okay. 1041 00:49:49,666 --> 00:49:51,625 If it was that bad, you could have just left. 1042 00:49:51,625 --> 00:49:53,500 And abandoned you in a frat house? 1043 00:49:53,500 --> 00:49:56,000 When have I ever left your side? 1044 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,708 I cannot believe I let you drag me out 1045 00:49:58,708 --> 00:50:00,625 for the gay prom of my dreams. 1046 00:50:00,625 --> 00:50:03,291 Of course, this was always about you. 1047 00:50:03,291 --> 00:50:05,000 - Okay. - Do you realize everything is 1048 00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:06,208 always about you? 1049 00:50:06,208 --> 00:50:07,666 If I hadn't convinced you to come, 1050 00:50:07,666 --> 00:50:09,333 you would've been crawling right back to Greg 1051 00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:11,458 and you would have acted like nothing happened, 1052 00:50:11,458 --> 00:50:14,541 that everything was okay, like you always do. 1053 00:50:14,541 --> 00:50:17,500 I'm, actually-- I'm being a super-ally right now. 1054 00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:18,875 Do not act like you understand 1055 00:50:18,875 --> 00:50:21,041 the pressures of coming out 'cause you really don't! 1056 00:50:21,041 --> 00:50:23,708 Oh, so sorry, would you mind keeping it down a little? 1057 00:50:23,708 --> 00:50:26,166 We support whatever's going on between the two of you, but we're trying-- 1058 00:50:26,166 --> 00:50:27,583 - I'll fucking kill you! - Don't you fucking 1059 00:50:27,583 --> 00:50:28,666 interrupt my best friend! 1060 00:50:28,666 --> 00:50:29,750 - Okay, Jesus Christ. - Okay. 1061 00:50:29,750 --> 00:50:32,750 Really romantic to have a moment at a fucking fountain at a college! 1062 00:50:32,750 --> 00:50:34,250 - Okay, have a good night. Thank you. - Wow! 1063 00:50:34,250 --> 00:50:35,416 - Wow! Wow. 1064 00:50:35,416 --> 00:50:36,583 - Wow! - Wow! 1065 00:50:36,583 --> 00:50:37,875 - Hon. Hon! - Wow! 1066 00:50:39,166 --> 00:50:40,833 Hope your wish doesn't come true! 1067 00:50:40,833 --> 00:50:43,583 Well, it did come true! It was to have your face fucked up! 1068 00:50:43,916 --> 00:50:44,958 Hannah 1069 00:50:48,250 --> 00:50:50,083 There is no way you're taking that phone call 1070 00:50:50,083 --> 00:50:51,458 instead of finishing this with me. 1071 00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:55,458 I won't have a shot at prom queen without him. 1072 00:50:55,458 --> 00:50:56,541 Are you serious? 1073 00:50:59,291 --> 00:51:00,375 Hannah! 1074 00:51:00,875 --> 00:51:02,916 - Fucking-- 1075 00:51:09,541 --> 00:51:10,541 What do you want? 1076 00:51:10,541 --> 00:51:13,250 [over phone] So, who's the cool guy in the picture that you posted? 1077 00:51:13,250 --> 00:51:14,333 Why do you care? 1078 00:51:14,333 --> 00:51:17,125 You seemed to have your hands pretty full when I came by earlier. 1079 00:51:17,125 --> 00:51:19,000 Jess, I'm sorry. Come on. 1080 00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,041 I made a mistake. She doesn't mean anything to me. 1081 00:51:21,041 --> 00:51:23,666 And FYI, she tried to get me to take her to prom 1082 00:51:23,666 --> 00:51:24,833 and I said no. 1083 00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:27,333 - You are the one I want to go with. 1084 00:51:27,791 --> 00:51:29,416 Yeah, well, Hannah and I, we're actually 1085 00:51:29,416 --> 00:51:31,333 at this really cool warehouse show at Rutgers, 1086 00:51:31,333 --> 00:51:32,583 so I got to go. 1087 00:51:38,833 --> 00:51:42,083 Alright, your Shirley Temple and virgin screwdriver. 1088 00:51:42,583 --> 00:51:44,125 Thank you kindly, bartender. 1089 00:51:44,125 --> 00:51:46,000 And-And might I add, I am very surprised 1090 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,375 that your guys don't ask for ID at this establishment. 1091 00:51:48,916 --> 00:51:50,125 I'm 16. 1092 00:52:02,041 --> 00:52:03,041 Whiskey ginger ale. 1093 00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:04,791 I don't serve minors. 1094 00:52:06,416 --> 00:52:07,583 Can I just sit here? 1095 00:52:08,416 --> 00:52:11,041 Alright, for this next song, 1096 00:52:11,041 --> 00:52:13,291 we got a very special guest. 1097 00:52:13,291 --> 00:52:16,583 Give it up for Angie Adams! 1098 00:52:21,291 --> 00:52:23,000 One, two, three, four! 1099 00:52:28,791 --> 00:52:29,833 Hannah? 1100 00:52:34,291 --> 00:52:35,916 Watch it! 1101 00:52:36,333 --> 00:52:38,708 - Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I-- - No, no, no, it's no problem. 1102 00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:40,916 - Hi. - Hi. 1103 00:52:41,333 --> 00:52:44,083 Uh, have you, have you seen Hannah? 1104 00:52:44,083 --> 00:52:45,875 No. Why? Is everything okay? 1105 00:52:45,875 --> 00:52:49,791 Yeah, no, I just, uh, I told her that we did it. 1106 00:52:51,416 --> 00:52:53,541 Shit. Um, okay. 1107 00:52:53,541 --> 00:52:54,666 How did she take it? 1108 00:52:55,083 --> 00:52:58,583 She... she threw up in a fountain and then she ran away. 1109 00:52:59,375 --> 00:53:00,375 Better than I expected. 1110 00:53:00,375 --> 00:53:02,416 - Hey, I'm really sorry, 1111 00:53:02,416 --> 00:53:03,958 that car ride was super awkward. 1112 00:53:03,958 --> 00:53:05,375 I'm sure that your boyfriend is great 1113 00:53:05,375 --> 00:53:07,416 and I hope that you guys are really happy together. 1114 00:53:07,416 --> 00:53:09,666 - Truly, I-- - Uh, actually, he cheated on me. 1115 00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,083 That fucker. We should kill him. 1116 00:53:13,083 --> 00:53:14,333 - Right? 1117 00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:18,291 Uh, hey, do you maybe wanna go sit and talk for a minute? 1118 00:53:19,041 --> 00:53:20,625 Uh, yeah. 1119 00:53:20,625 --> 00:53:22,041 - Okay. - Okay. 1120 00:53:22,583 --> 00:53:24,958 ♪ You tear it down, whoa-oh ♪ 1121 00:53:24,958 --> 00:53:26,208 ♪ And I'll ♪ 1122 00:53:26,208 --> 00:53:27,291 Jacob? 1123 00:53:27,291 --> 00:53:28,958 ♪ Never make a sound ♪ 1124 00:53:42,541 --> 00:53:43,541 Hannah? 1125 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,666 A-Angie. 1126 00:53:47,583 --> 00:53:48,833 What are you doing here? 1127 00:53:48,833 --> 00:53:51,166 My sister's crashing here. She invited me to play a little bit. 1128 00:53:51,166 --> 00:53:52,750 What are-- what are you doing here? 1129 00:53:52,750 --> 00:53:54,916 I came to grab house keys from my brother. 1130 00:53:54,916 --> 00:53:58,166 I've... I've had kind of a rough night. 1131 00:53:58,166 --> 00:54:00,833 Yeah, I can see that. What happened? 1132 00:54:01,166 --> 00:54:04,333 I had the good fortune of seeing someone's boobs for the first time... 1133 00:54:05,416 --> 00:54:07,625 ...and then I promptly sneezed blood on them. 1134 00:54:07,625 --> 00:54:09,541 Are you serious? 1135 00:54:10,416 --> 00:54:11,833 That's incredible. 1136 00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:14,500 Start at the beginning. I need to know everything. 1137 00:54:17,375 --> 00:54:19,500 I'm actually kind of impressed that you managed 1138 00:54:19,500 --> 00:54:21,833 to drop the ball on two potential prom dates. 1139 00:54:21,833 --> 00:54:23,125 That's... 1140 00:54:23,125 --> 00:54:26,000 Yeah, okay, well, your sister smashing a glass 1141 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,708 over the head of one of them didn't help. 1142 00:54:28,083 --> 00:54:32,041 Yeah. Yeah, taking down frat bros: the lesbian agenda. 1143 00:54:33,291 --> 00:54:35,875 What? What are you talking about? 1144 00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:37,791 Oh, my God, Jess, come on. She's my sister. 1145 00:54:37,791 --> 00:54:39,416 You think I don't know she's gay? 1146 00:54:40,041 --> 00:54:43,083 I've caught her trying to leave the house in my jorts, like, 30 times. 1147 00:54:45,791 --> 00:54:46,833 Can I ask you something? 1148 00:54:47,833 --> 00:54:50,958 Why do you care so much about finding a prom date? 1149 00:54:53,125 --> 00:54:55,916 I guess, uh... 1150 00:54:56,541 --> 00:54:59,250 going alone is kind of like admitting 1151 00:54:59,250 --> 00:55:00,916 that no one wanted to go with you. 1152 00:55:00,916 --> 00:55:05,041 But going with someone popular means I've made it. 1153 00:55:05,458 --> 00:55:06,833 Oh, there you are. 1154 00:55:06,833 --> 00:55:09,000 You can't leave me like that, Dad-- I mean, Jake. 1155 00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:11,041 You know I have abandon-- 1156 00:55:11,458 --> 00:55:12,791 Oh, my God! 1157 00:55:12,791 --> 00:55:13,875 If you're here... 1158 00:55:13,875 --> 00:55:15,250 No. - ...I gotta go get my girl. 1159 00:55:15,250 --> 00:55:16,333 Wait. No, no, no. 1160 00:55:16,333 --> 00:55:18,291 Um, I'm gonna go grab him. Go find Hannah. 1161 00:55:18,291 --> 00:55:20,125 Okay. - Hannah? Excuse me, sorry. 1162 00:55:20,125 --> 00:55:21,875 Hannah! Sorry, guys. 1163 00:55:21,875 --> 00:55:23,041 Hannah, where-- 1164 00:55:23,041 --> 00:55:24,458 - Hannah! - Jess. 1165 00:55:24,458 --> 00:55:25,750 Luca. 1166 00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:34,708 [singing] ♪ Takin' all the places where you've been... ♪ 1167 00:55:34,708 --> 00:55:37,000 So your first time seeing boobs 1168 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:39,125 was in front of 25 frat bros? 1169 00:55:39,125 --> 00:55:40,625 That's not how it goes for everyone? 1170 00:55:40,625 --> 00:55:41,875 Well, I mean... 1171 00:55:41,875 --> 00:55:42,958 Um, I just, I-- 1172 00:55:42,958 --> 00:55:44,750 I don't know, I feel like you've never done anything 1173 00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:45,833 half as embarrassing. 1174 00:55:45,833 --> 00:55:47,833 Hey, don't let my fat ass 1175 00:55:47,833 --> 00:55:49,291 and perfect personality fool you. 1176 00:55:49,291 --> 00:55:52,041 I went to circus camp until I was 15. 1177 00:55:52,041 --> 00:55:53,458 You're lying. 1178 00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:56,333 Whoa! 1179 00:55:58,166 --> 00:55:59,666 - Yeah. - I have a feeling you use 1180 00:55:59,666 --> 00:56:01,333 that trick on all the girls. 1181 00:56:01,333 --> 00:56:04,416 Not on all the girls. Just the ones I'm trying to kiss. 1182 00:56:08,750 --> 00:56:09,750 Okay, I gotta ask. 1183 00:56:09,750 --> 00:56:12,333 Where is the student council kid you're always with? 1184 00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:13,833 Greg? 1185 00:56:13,833 --> 00:56:15,250 Oh, I broke up with him. 1186 00:56:15,833 --> 00:56:16,916 Yeah, I'm a lesbian. 1187 00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,583 Well, I can't imagine those clothes are really comfortable. 1188 00:56:21,583 --> 00:56:23,291 Should we go up to my sister's room 1189 00:56:23,291 --> 00:56:25,041 to find you something else? 1190 00:56:25,916 --> 00:56:26,916 Yeah, sure. 1191 00:56:29,416 --> 00:56:32,958 ♪ You're faking all the friends that you made ♪ 1192 00:56:33,333 --> 00:56:36,083 ♪ Simply filling an empty place... ♪ 1193 00:56:36,583 --> 00:56:39,125 Please, please, please? 1194 00:56:39,125 --> 00:56:42,208 Has anyone seen a girl named Hannah? 1195 00:56:42,208 --> 00:56:47,083 She's 5'5" and the most perfect angel in the world! Please! 1196 00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:49,666 - I don't have time for this. - Oh, Jess, I fucked up one time. 1197 00:56:49,666 --> 00:56:51,666 It's really over because I made one mistake? 1198 00:56:51,666 --> 00:56:53,708 You never treated me properly, Luca. 1199 00:56:53,708 --> 00:56:55,250 I did a lot of things wrong. 1200 00:56:55,250 --> 00:56:56,750 I should have introduced you to my parents. 1201 00:56:56,750 --> 00:56:58,416 I was confused. But I'm not anymore. 1202 00:56:58,416 --> 00:57:00,791 - It's too late. - Come on. I swear I can make things right. 1203 00:57:01,166 --> 00:57:02,333 I want to go to prom together. 1204 00:57:02,916 --> 00:57:04,333 Like together-together. 1205 00:57:04,333 --> 00:57:07,083 Prom king and prom queen. 1206 00:57:15,583 --> 00:57:17,791 So, you can, um, 1207 00:57:18,166 --> 00:57:21,416 - put... this on? Amazing. 1208 00:57:21,416 --> 00:57:23,708 Or we can both take our shirts off. 1209 00:57:24,833 --> 00:57:26,333 I would like to do that. 1210 00:57:26,333 --> 00:57:27,416 Yeah. 1211 00:57:45,125 --> 00:57:47,000 Um... wait, sorry. 1212 00:57:47,541 --> 00:57:50,250 Not to be, like, so deeply corny, 1213 00:57:50,250 --> 00:57:53,708 but will you go to prom with me? 1214 00:57:53,708 --> 00:57:56,208 Yeah. 1215 00:58:00,166 --> 00:58:02,083 - Is it okay if I undo your-- - Yeah, yeah, of course. 1216 00:58:04,916 --> 00:58:05,916 Wait, wait. 1217 00:58:06,541 --> 00:58:08,750 Your real last name is Adams, right? 1218 00:58:08,750 --> 00:58:10,083 Yeah, why? 1219 00:58:10,083 --> 00:58:12,666 Yeah, no, no, nothing, just... just keep going. 1220 00:58:12,666 --> 00:58:13,750 Okay. 1221 00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:25,333 This is the best night of my life. 1222 00:58:30,166 --> 00:58:31,916 - Hannah? - Greg! 1223 00:58:32,458 --> 00:58:34,916 What are you doing? I've been looking for you all night. 1224 00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:37,166 - I thought you guys broke up? - We did break up. 1225 00:58:37,166 --> 00:58:40,833 No, I told you I changed colleges for you, and then you ran out of my house. 1226 00:58:40,833 --> 00:58:42,625 Yeah, that's a breakup. 1227 00:58:43,166 --> 00:58:44,291 What? 1228 00:58:44,291 --> 00:58:46,375 Hannah, how-how could you do this to me? 1229 00:58:46,375 --> 00:58:47,625 I'm in love with you. 1230 00:58:47,625 --> 00:58:49,666 Because I'm gay, Greg! 1231 00:58:49,666 --> 00:58:51,291 And I've always been gay. 1232 00:58:51,291 --> 00:58:54,166 And I, I was too afraid to say it before, 1233 00:58:54,166 --> 00:58:56,541 but I'm not afraid now. 1234 00:58:56,541 --> 00:58:59,791 So I'm sorry, but it's over. 1235 00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:03,375 So our relationship was a lie? 1236 00:59:10,291 --> 00:59:12,000 Ugh, gross. 1237 00:59:12,000 --> 00:59:14,458 No, Angie. No, uh, I can explain! 1238 00:59:14,958 --> 00:59:16,416 I want you to be my girlfriend. 1239 00:59:16,708 --> 00:59:19,208 Dude, she doesn't want you here. Okay? Why don't you just go home? 1240 00:59:19,208 --> 00:59:20,791 Who the fuck are you, tall boy? 1241 00:59:20,791 --> 00:59:22,291 Guys, please. - I'm average height. 1242 00:59:22,291 --> 00:59:24,250 - What are you talking about? - Geez, look at this sweater. 1243 00:59:24,250 --> 00:59:26,416 - You get this at a garage sale? - What are you, a Formula 1 racer? 1244 00:59:26,416 --> 00:59:27,500 What are you talking about? 1245 00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:29,041 - What the fuck? - Judging me what I'm wearing? 1246 00:59:29,041 --> 00:59:30,250 Guys. - Eat fist, bitch! 1247 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,750 - Get the fuck off of him! 1248 00:59:31,750 --> 00:59:34,208 Hannah! Hannah, stop, you're gonna make things worse! 1249 00:59:34,208 --> 00:59:35,375 Yeah, you tell her, babe! 1250 00:59:35,791 --> 00:59:36,916 I'm not afraid to hit a girl. 1251 00:59:36,916 --> 00:59:38,083 You just fucking punched him. 1252 00:59:38,083 --> 00:59:39,791 What the fuck is wrong with you? 1253 00:59:39,791 --> 00:59:41,500 I don't do drama. 1254 00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:43,708 I'll wait for you in the car. 1255 00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:48,291 - Oh, my God. 1256 00:59:48,291 --> 00:59:49,500 Oh, my God. Are you okay? 1257 00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:51,083 Yeah. No, it's fine. It's-- 1258 00:59:51,083 --> 00:59:52,208 It's just my face. 1259 00:59:52,208 --> 00:59:53,958 Oh, so now you give a shit? 1260 00:59:53,958 --> 00:59:55,833 Take it easy, alright? She was telling him to leave. 1261 00:59:55,833 --> 00:59:56,958 They're-They're not together. 1262 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,000 Right? 1263 01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,666 I-I just need him for prom. 1264 01:00:01,666 --> 01:00:02,750 Are you serious? 1265 01:00:03,416 --> 01:00:04,625 - Jacob. - No, it's, it's... 1266 01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:08,375 Don't fucking start, Hannah. 1267 01:00:08,375 --> 01:00:12,125 Oh, no, it's just, it's-it's so predictable! 1268 01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:14,000 Of course you were gonna get back together with him. 1269 01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,291 - Of course! - Well, I'm not gonna apologize 1270 01:00:16,291 --> 01:00:18,041 for having the confidence to go after what I want. 1271 01:00:18,041 --> 01:00:19,500 You know, I hate to break it to you, Jess, 1272 01:00:19,500 --> 01:00:22,666 but it's not confidence, it's desperation. 1273 01:00:22,666 --> 01:00:25,541 Desperation? You wanna talk about desperation? 1274 01:00:25,541 --> 01:00:27,916 You're a lesbian who dated a fucking dude for a year. 1275 01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:29,208 Yeah, Jess. 1276 01:00:29,208 --> 01:00:31,833 But at least I didn't treat you like dog shit in the process! 1277 01:00:31,833 --> 01:00:33,333 No. I guess just Greg. 1278 01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:35,958 Babe, wrap it up so I can get Taco Bell! 1279 01:00:35,958 --> 01:00:37,458 I'm about to hit my fasting window. 1280 01:00:37,875 --> 01:00:40,125 Tacos and some lovin'! 1281 01:00:40,375 --> 01:00:42,125 You're really gonna let him talk to you like that? 1282 01:00:42,666 --> 01:00:45,291 Just so you have a fucking date tomorrow? 1283 01:00:46,125 --> 01:00:47,166 You're pathetic. 1284 01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:49,500 And you know, the really sad part is that 1285 01:00:49,500 --> 01:00:51,291 you know he doesn't care about you. 1286 01:00:51,291 --> 01:00:53,583 And you still choose him. 1287 01:00:53,583 --> 01:00:56,500 'Cause you're so fucking insecure, 1288 01:00:56,500 --> 01:00:59,708 you'd do anything to make people like you! 1289 01:00:59,708 --> 01:01:01,833 Well, sorry that I'd rather have one perfect night 1290 01:01:01,833 --> 01:01:04,541 than stay an unfuckable reject like you! 1291 01:01:10,166 --> 01:01:11,166 You know what? 1292 01:01:12,750 --> 01:01:14,250 I'm... 1293 01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:18,166 I'm tired of you assuming 1294 01:01:18,166 --> 01:01:21,791 you can just treat me however you want 1295 01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:24,333 'cause you know I'll always be there for you. 1296 01:01:25,375 --> 01:01:26,833 Have fun at prom with Luca. 1297 01:01:27,458 --> 01:01:28,708 I'm done. 1298 01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:31,291 Hannah! 1299 01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:01,500 Last night was fucked. I-- 1300 01:02:24,625 --> 01:02:25,625 Holy shit. 1301 01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:27,958 Good afternoon, Hannah. 1302 01:02:27,958 --> 01:02:29,291 How'd you get in here? 1303 01:02:29,291 --> 01:02:30,458 Your mom let us in. 1304 01:02:31,583 --> 01:02:32,583 She gave me a cookie. 1305 01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:34,958 The last cookie she'll ever give me. 1306 01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:36,833 "Us"? 1307 01:02:38,208 --> 01:02:39,208 'Sup? 1308 01:02:39,625 --> 01:02:42,375 I assume you know my date Melissa, from the softball team? 1309 01:02:42,750 --> 01:02:43,750 Hi. 1310 01:02:43,750 --> 01:02:45,958 Melissa and I have been having a wonderful time so far. 1311 01:02:45,958 --> 01:02:48,375 She helped me get my frisbee from the top of the garage. 1312 01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:51,125 She helped me dunk my first basketball. 1313 01:02:51,125 --> 01:02:52,333 Lifted me up by the shoulders. 1314 01:02:52,333 --> 01:02:53,541 Uh-huh. - Put it right in there. 1315 01:02:53,541 --> 01:02:55,125 - Felt like Shaq. Uh-huh. 1316 01:02:55,125 --> 01:02:58,791 I just can't seem to remember you doing anything like that. 1317 01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:03,333 Okay. Um, can I talk to you alone for a minute, please? 1318 01:03:09,666 --> 01:03:14,625 Um... when you told my mom we broke up, you didn't, like, 1319 01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,041 tell her I was gay, right? 1320 01:03:18,333 --> 01:03:19,583 Of course not. 1321 01:03:20,041 --> 01:03:22,791 - Hannah, I'm heartbroken, 1322 01:03:22,791 --> 01:03:23,916 I'm not a monster. 1323 01:03:24,291 --> 01:03:26,583 I just came to pick up my car. 1324 01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:28,958 I left it here last night when I went looking for you. 1325 01:03:28,958 --> 01:03:33,750 I'm really sorry, Greg. 1326 01:03:33,750 --> 01:03:36,958 Did you know the whole time we were dating? 1327 01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:39,708 Yeah, pretty much. 1328 01:03:42,291 --> 01:03:43,833 I just can't believe it. 1329 01:03:43,833 --> 01:03:46,000 All those weekends watching Rachel and Finn sing 1330 01:03:46,000 --> 01:03:48,083 their hearts out meant nothing to you. 1331 01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:50,333 You're super fun to hang out with, 1332 01:03:50,333 --> 01:03:53,750 but, like, I can't change who I am. 1333 01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:56,333 You think I'm upset that you're gay? 1334 01:03:57,166 --> 01:03:58,166 Yes? 1335 01:03:58,166 --> 01:04:00,833 Hannah, I'm upset because you pretended 1336 01:04:00,833 --> 01:04:02,083 to be in love with me. 1337 01:04:03,291 --> 01:04:05,833 My entire senior year revolved around you, 1338 01:04:06,291 --> 01:04:10,250 a-and you were just... using me. 1339 01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:13,625 If you had just told me, 1340 01:04:13,625 --> 01:04:16,166 I would have pretended to be your boyfriend. 1341 01:04:16,166 --> 01:04:18,875 Or if you didn't have the guts to do that, 1342 01:04:19,916 --> 01:04:21,166 you should've dumped me. 1343 01:04:21,791 --> 01:04:23,916 But you could have at least been a decent friend. 1344 01:04:24,958 --> 01:04:28,083 Just so you know, I, uh, I transferred back to Stanford. 1345 01:04:28,083 --> 01:04:32,958 So... you don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore. 1346 01:05:04,958 --> 01:05:07,041 Woo! 1347 01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:10,041 ...55, 56, 57, 1348 01:05:10,041 --> 01:05:13,416 58, 59, 60! 1349 01:05:15,583 --> 01:05:18,625 Oh, that's a full minute, baby! That's a new record! 1350 01:05:18,625 --> 01:05:20,458 Let's go! Woo! 1351 01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:22,000 That's it! That's it! 1352 01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:23,291 All right, dude. You're next. 1353 01:05:23,291 --> 01:05:24,500 Yeah, thank you, thank you. 1354 01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:26,125 Uh, thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. 1355 01:05:27,166 --> 01:05:28,458 - Congrats, bro. - What's up, man? 1356 01:05:28,458 --> 01:05:30,833 - Lemme get a picture real quick. - Yeah, let's do it, let's do it. 1357 01:05:31,666 --> 01:05:33,041 - Alright. Let's go. 1358 01:05:33,041 --> 01:05:34,875 ♪ That sparkle ♪ 1359 01:05:34,875 --> 01:05:38,625 ♪ It goes away and then you know ♪ 1360 01:05:40,250 --> 01:05:45,250 ♪ Excuses start to weigh more than gold ♪ 1361 01:05:47,083 --> 01:05:50,041 ♪ Ohh, ohh ♪ 1362 01:05:50,791 --> 01:05:52,291 ♪ Ohh, ohh ♪ 1363 01:05:52,291 --> 01:05:54,916 What's up, sourpuss? Want some bubbly? 1364 01:05:54,916 --> 01:05:56,208 No. 1365 01:05:56,208 --> 01:05:57,625 Okay. More for me. 1366 01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:00,208 You know, I kinda wish we were going straight 1367 01:06:00,208 --> 01:06:03,625 to the after party, if ya know what I mean. 1368 01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:11,333 ♪ I used a condom with Janine, so we don't have to ♪ 1369 01:06:13,041 --> 01:06:14,166 What? 1370 01:06:14,625 --> 01:06:17,291 You should be amped, it smells great down there. 1371 01:06:17,291 --> 01:06:19,375 - Okay. - Ooh, I know. 1372 01:06:19,375 --> 01:06:21,666 Do you wanna meet my parents? 1373 01:06:23,708 --> 01:06:24,791 Yeah. 1374 01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:27,708 Alright, let me go find my mom. 1375 01:06:29,416 --> 01:06:32,000 Mom! Come meet Jess, you slut! 1376 01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:36,125 Hey, sorry to bother you, would you mind taking a picture of us? 1377 01:06:36,125 --> 01:06:37,875 Keara's absolutely beefing the self-timer. 1378 01:06:37,875 --> 01:06:40,625 It's not me, you bitch, it's Jordan's janky Android. 1379 01:06:40,625 --> 01:06:41,791 Just use yours. 1380 01:06:41,791 --> 01:06:43,916 Please, no. I share an iCloud account with my parents, 1381 01:06:43,916 --> 01:06:46,083 and I know one of you is gonna flash tit. 1382 01:06:46,083 --> 01:06:48,083 I can just take it on my phone and AirDrop it. 1383 01:06:48,083 --> 01:06:49,250 Perfect. Yeah. 1384 01:06:54,791 --> 01:06:57,416 Guess Anne and Carm are missing out on my nips again this year. 1385 01:07:07,583 --> 01:07:09,500 - I got it. Ugh, you're an angel. 1386 01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:11,458 Come take a picture with us. Hannah too, obviously. 1387 01:07:11,458 --> 01:07:12,625 Oh, yeah, go get her. 1388 01:07:12,625 --> 01:07:16,958 Um... no, yeah, actually, I'm gonna go pick her up. 1389 01:07:16,958 --> 01:07:19,750 But we'll meet you guys at prom. A-And you look really cute by the way. 1390 01:07:19,750 --> 01:07:21,375 You too! See you there! 1391 01:07:24,666 --> 01:07:26,500 Time to meet my slam piece. 1392 01:07:26,500 --> 01:07:28,583 Jess? 1393 01:07:34,083 --> 01:07:36,708 [on phone] The number you've dialed is not in service. 1394 01:07:36,708 --> 01:07:39,083 Ugh. Fucking fountain phone! 1395 01:07:41,708 --> 01:07:43,083 Twenty-seven minutes? 1396 01:08:14,166 --> 01:08:16,000 - Home? 1397 01:08:23,250 --> 01:08:26,166 Hannah! I'm a fucking idiot, okay? 1398 01:08:26,166 --> 01:08:28,875 You were right, I was putting dudes ahead of you, 1399 01:08:28,875 --> 01:08:30,583 which literally makes no sense 1400 01:08:30,583 --> 01:08:32,958 because nothing could compare to our friendship! 1401 01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:35,375 I won't go to prom without you! 1402 01:08:36,458 --> 01:08:37,541 Hey. 1403 01:08:38,625 --> 01:08:39,666 She's not here. 1404 01:08:39,666 --> 01:08:41,083 Jacob. 1405 01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:53,958 It's all you, doggie. 1406 01:08:58,291 --> 01:08:59,625 Lucy. 1407 01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,041 Ah! 1408 01:09:03,041 --> 01:09:04,708 Oh, Lucy! 1409 01:09:04,708 --> 01:09:06,000 Oh, hi. 1410 01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:07,875 Oh, yes, you're home! 1411 01:09:07,875 --> 01:09:08,958 Where were you? 1412 01:09:08,958 --> 01:09:10,916 Where was my baby? 1413 01:09:10,916 --> 01:09:13,708 Oh, yes, yes! 1414 01:09:13,708 --> 01:09:17,208 I love you! I was so worried about my baby! 1415 01:09:17,208 --> 01:09:19,083 You're my little baby! 1416 01:09:19,083 --> 01:09:22,208 - Oh, yes. Oh. 1417 01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:25,250 - Like, it looks bad, but-- - Does it hurt? 1418 01:09:25,791 --> 01:09:29,041 Uh, yeah, I mean, probably about as much as a trophy to the head. 1419 01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:30,958 I'm so sorry. 1420 01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:32,666 - Ah. - For everything. 1421 01:09:33,833 --> 01:09:36,083 You've been so great, and I just keep fucking it up. 1422 01:09:37,625 --> 01:09:39,458 Well, this might be my head injury talking, 1423 01:09:39,458 --> 01:09:41,833 but I still like you. 1424 01:09:42,916 --> 01:09:43,958 I like you, too. 1425 01:09:46,500 --> 01:09:48,541 But we probably shouldn't do this right now. 1426 01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:52,375 Right, yeah. No, you-you gotta figure things out with Hannah first. 1427 01:09:52,833 --> 01:09:55,500 Yeah, and I, um... 1428 01:09:56,666 --> 01:09:59,625 I should really just focus on myself for a bit, 1429 01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,916 make sure I'm dating for the right reasons. 1430 01:10:02,166 --> 01:10:04,916 Self-awareness. Gross. 1431 01:10:08,958 --> 01:10:11,625 Look, I don't expect you to wait for me or anything. 1432 01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:14,625 But when I'm ready, you'll be the first person I call. 1433 01:10:15,916 --> 01:10:16,916 Deal. 1434 01:10:27,500 --> 01:10:30,041 It's probably for the best that we don't start dating now. 1435 01:10:30,791 --> 01:10:32,291 I lent Hannah my tux for prom, 1436 01:10:32,291 --> 01:10:35,041 so if you had asked me, it would have just been this. 1437 01:10:35,041 --> 01:10:36,625 Wait. Hannah went to prom? 1438 01:10:36,625 --> 01:10:38,958 Eh, she said something about meeting up with the drama club. 1439 01:10:39,291 --> 01:10:40,291 What...? 1440 01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:42,583 Did you steal Luca's car? 1441 01:10:43,125 --> 01:10:44,208 Yes, I did. 1442 01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:46,166 God, that's hot. 1443 01:10:58,166 --> 01:11:01,541 ♪ Walked in the room, I couldn't look away ♪ 1444 01:11:02,583 --> 01:11:05,458 ♪ Stop me dead with that electric gaze ♪ 1445 01:11:06,541 --> 01:11:10,666 ♪ Something so comforting about your face ♪ 1446 01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:13,916 ♪ I don't know how, but we might be the same ♪ 1447 01:11:14,958 --> 01:11:18,000 ♪ Never expected I would feel this way ♪ 1448 01:11:19,083 --> 01:11:22,208 ♪ I keep my head down, take it day by day ♪ 1449 01:11:23,291 --> 01:11:25,833 ♪ I turned those feelings off so long ago ♪ 1450 01:11:25,833 --> 01:11:27,458 Oh, my God, hurry up. We're so late. 1451 01:11:27,458 --> 01:11:31,333 ♪ I always thought it'd be impossible, but ♪ 1452 01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:33,208 - ♪ You could kiss me right now ♪ - Hey. 1453 01:11:34,041 --> 01:11:35,625 Hey! Where's Jess? 1454 01:11:36,333 --> 01:11:37,666 How should I know, Hanky? 1455 01:11:37,916 --> 01:11:39,875 ♪ I’ve been dreaming 'bout it... ♪ 1456 01:11:39,875 --> 01:11:41,708 We're all set up backstage. Ready? 1457 01:11:41,708 --> 01:11:43,125 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, Grace. 1458 01:11:45,791 --> 01:11:48,250 ♪ Mm-hmm, yeah ♪ 1459 01:11:48,250 --> 01:11:49,916 ♪ You could kiss me right now ♪ 1460 01:11:50,791 --> 01:11:53,750 - ♪ I don't understand it, no ♪ 1461 01:11:54,666 --> 01:11:56,416 ♪ But I'm not gonna fight it... ♪ 1462 01:11:56,416 --> 01:11:58,208 - Hey, ho, everybody, hold up. 1463 01:11:58,208 --> 01:11:59,833 One second, hold up, stop dancing. 1464 01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:02,416 Alright, we're gonna take a quick break from the tunes 1465 01:12:02,416 --> 01:12:04,416 because the student fire marshal is here to give us 1466 01:12:04,416 --> 01:12:06,500 a brief safety announcement, okay? 1467 01:12:06,500 --> 01:12:07,583 It's very important. 1468 01:12:07,583 --> 01:12:09,916 And then after that, you can believe 1469 01:12:09,916 --> 01:12:12,708 that DJ Tony Turnpike is gonna be back 1470 01:12:12,708 --> 01:12:14,416 with the noise. 1471 01:12:14,416 --> 01:12:17,541 The noise and the boys. You understand? 1472 01:12:17,541 --> 01:12:18,833 That's all slang for-- 1473 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,833 I actually don't know what it's for. 1474 01:12:20,833 --> 01:12:23,125 - Here you go, Hannah. You go ahead. - Okay. Thanks. 1475 01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,875 - I'll leave you with this. 1476 01:12:25,875 --> 01:12:27,166 Bush did 9/11. 1477 01:12:27,166 --> 01:12:28,666 ♪ Oh, Lord ♪ 1478 01:12:28,666 --> 01:12:29,875 Check that out. 1479 01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:40,625 Hello, everybody in my grade. 1480 01:12:41,041 --> 01:12:44,916 I'm sorry to say that I am not up here to provide safety information, 1481 01:12:44,916 --> 01:12:49,458 as the title "student fire marshal" is completely made up. 1482 01:12:50,708 --> 01:12:52,333 Student fire marshal's not real? 1483 01:12:53,833 --> 01:12:55,250 I was the student fire marshal. 1484 01:12:55,250 --> 01:12:56,666 Okay. Thank you. 1485 01:12:57,541 --> 01:12:59,708 I'm actually up here tonight because 1486 01:13:00,666 --> 01:13:02,125 I owe someone an apology. 1487 01:13:03,416 --> 01:13:05,625 This person is never anything less than himself 1488 01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:08,333 and taught me that I shouldn't be either. 1489 01:13:09,916 --> 01:13:10,916 So... 1490 01:13:13,250 --> 01:13:14,833 I have something I need to say. 1491 01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:19,791 I'm a lesbian. 1492 01:13:21,333 --> 01:13:26,291 And even though it's, like, really scary to admit, 1493 01:13:26,291 --> 01:13:29,125 it feels way better than continuing 1494 01:13:29,125 --> 01:13:31,708 to pretend I'm something I'm not. 1495 01:13:32,791 --> 01:13:34,083 Woo! 1496 01:13:43,166 --> 01:13:44,833 - Why are we clapping? Shh! 1497 01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:47,375 Now, I'm not as good a performer as he is, 1498 01:13:47,375 --> 01:13:51,708 but his love language is grand gestures, so... 1499 01:13:54,625 --> 01:13:58,041 Greg, our relationship might be over, 1500 01:13:58,541 --> 01:14:00,625 but I hope we can stay friends forever. 1501 01:14:01,333 --> 01:14:02,541 I love ya, buddy. 1502 01:14:04,625 --> 01:14:10,041 ♪ G is for a guy who loves his Glee ♪ 1503 01:14:10,833 --> 01:14:15,958 ♪ R is 'cause a ray of sun is he ♪ 1504 01:14:15,958 --> 01:14:18,666 Guys, I'm Greg! She's singing about me! 1505 01:14:18,666 --> 01:14:23,125 ♪ ...is very, very extraordinary ♪ 1506 01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:25,291 - ♪ G-- ♪ Gay! 1507 01:14:25,291 --> 01:14:29,416 ♪ Even more of that special Greg that we adore ♪ 1508 01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,250 Hey. Shut the fuck up. 1509 01:14:32,250 --> 01:14:33,541 Hey. Where have you been? 1510 01:14:33,541 --> 01:14:35,208 What Hannah's doing is braver than anything 1511 01:14:35,208 --> 01:14:36,916 you've ever done in your entire life. 1512 01:14:36,916 --> 01:14:38,625 Okay, chill. I was just kidding. 1513 01:14:38,625 --> 01:14:40,791 I didn't think that you two were friends anymore anyway. 1514 01:14:40,791 --> 01:14:42,916 Yeah, well, you were wrong. She's my best friend. 1515 01:14:42,916 --> 01:14:45,916 I'm just gonna be honest. You're kinda being a super mega bitch right now. 1516 01:14:47,833 --> 01:14:49,333 - We're done. 1517 01:14:49,958 --> 01:14:52,166 So you're gonna spend prom alone? 1518 01:14:52,166 --> 01:14:54,208 - ♪ Greg ♪ - I'm not alone. I have her. 1519 01:14:54,208 --> 01:14:57,500 ♪ Is a real friend when you're in need ♪ 1520 01:14:57,500 --> 01:15:00,458 Alright, swag. Have fun with Dykey D. 1521 01:15:00,458 --> 01:15:03,666 ♪ Greg has always been right there for me ♪ 1522 01:15:03,666 --> 01:15:05,000 It's true. 1523 01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:06,125 - ♪ Greg's... ♪ 1524 01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:15,125 - Uh, thank you, fire marshal. 1525 01:15:15,125 --> 01:15:16,375 Thank you so much. 1526 01:15:16,375 --> 01:15:18,375 Uh, very, uh, interesting announcement. 1527 01:15:18,375 --> 01:15:21,000 That got a little bit weird, folks, uh, in here, 1528 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:23,000 so let's move right on to the love 1529 01:15:23,000 --> 01:15:25,750 with the first slow dance of the evening. 1530 01:15:25,750 --> 01:15:28,500 If you touch anything that seems to be changing size, 1531 01:15:28,500 --> 01:15:30,500 just take your hand right off it, okay? 1532 01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:35,791 The most important part about the pact is that this is our night. 1533 01:15:37,500 --> 01:15:39,291 It would be nothing without you. 1534 01:15:40,041 --> 01:15:43,541 - I love you. - Oh. I love you too. 1535 01:15:46,791 --> 01:15:48,083 May I have this dance? 1536 01:15:48,083 --> 01:15:50,291 Oh, I'd love nothing more. 1537 01:15:56,333 --> 01:15:57,750 I'm sorry for what I said. 1538 01:15:58,541 --> 01:16:00,708 I was projecting, and it was wrong. 1539 01:16:01,333 --> 01:16:02,375 It's okay. 1540 01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:05,500 I probably shouldn't have freaked out about you and Jacob. 1541 01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:09,125 If you guys really like each other, 1542 01:16:09,666 --> 01:16:11,041 I'm nothing but happy for you. 1543 01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:15,250 Thanks, Hans, but I, I am gonna take a break 1544 01:16:15,250 --> 01:16:16,958 from serious relationships right now. 1545 01:16:16,958 --> 01:16:18,833 Does that mean you're breaking up with me? 1546 01:16:18,833 --> 01:16:21,750 Oh, no, we are more than serious, bitch. 1547 01:16:21,750 --> 01:16:23,958 We are terminal. You are never getting rid of me. 1548 01:16:23,958 --> 01:16:26,041 - Ever. 1549 01:16:26,041 --> 01:16:27,666 Good. 1550 01:16:28,375 --> 01:16:32,416 ♪ I won't fight it, I won't ♪ 1551 01:16:32,416 --> 01:16:33,916 I'm gonna go get a drink. 1552 01:16:35,291 --> 01:16:36,916 Wait, did you...? 1553 01:16:37,291 --> 01:16:38,333 - Maybe. 1554 01:16:38,333 --> 01:16:39,708 - Hannah! - Yeah. 1555 01:16:39,708 --> 01:16:41,833 Yeah. Unfuckable reject, who? 1556 01:16:41,833 --> 01:16:43,000 Oh, God. Yeah, okay. 1557 01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:45,666 Um... sorry, again. 1558 01:16:45,666 --> 01:16:47,791 Yeah, it was actually the greatest thing to ever happen. 1559 01:16:47,791 --> 01:16:51,416 Like, she came on to me. 1560 01:16:51,416 --> 01:16:53,625 - As well she should. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1561 01:16:53,625 --> 01:16:56,541 Okay. Alright, well, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get out of your way. 1562 01:16:56,541 --> 01:16:57,625 Mm-hmm. 1563 01:16:59,541 --> 01:17:01,208 ♪ A sharp tongue ♪ 1564 01:17:01,208 --> 01:17:02,750 - Love you. - I love you. 1565 01:17:02,750 --> 01:17:04,958 ♪ It’s obvious ♪ 1566 01:17:05,291 --> 01:17:06,583 - Okay. 1567 01:17:06,583 --> 01:17:10,083 ♪ There’s a room in a hospital where your body is ♪ 1568 01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,291 ♪ The B-bridge... ♪ 1569 01:17:14,291 --> 01:17:15,375 Quite a show. 1570 01:17:15,375 --> 01:17:16,666 Thank you. 1571 01:17:16,666 --> 01:17:19,625 Yeah, if you don't watch your back, I'm gonna start stealing your gigs. 1572 01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:26,750 I'm... I'm really sorry I dragged you into my shit. 1573 01:17:27,625 --> 01:17:28,833 It wasn't right. 1574 01:17:30,041 --> 01:17:34,250 But I wasn't lying when I said hanging out with you was the best night of my life. 1575 01:17:34,250 --> 01:17:37,458 So, now that everything's just, 1576 01:17:38,291 --> 01:17:39,500 phew, out in the open, 1577 01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:42,875 I just, I feel like there's one thing left to ask. 1578 01:17:45,041 --> 01:17:46,250 Will you be my girlfriend? 1579 01:17:46,916 --> 01:17:49,916 Uh, I... I don't think so. 1580 01:17:49,916 --> 01:17:52,541 - Huh? - Uh, we, like, hooked up once. 1581 01:17:52,958 --> 01:17:54,208 Yeah, no, I just, I'm... 1582 01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:56,500 We-we were so connected. I-- 1583 01:17:56,500 --> 01:17:57,916 Yeah. Uh, 1584 01:17:58,291 --> 01:17:59,916 I mean, look, I-I think you're great, 1585 01:17:59,916 --> 01:18:02,041 and obviously I'm attracted to you, 1586 01:18:02,041 --> 01:18:05,000 but it's, like, you just came out. 1587 01:18:05,875 --> 01:18:08,291 To, like, the whole school in a musical number? 1588 01:18:08,291 --> 01:18:09,583 Mm. 1589 01:18:09,583 --> 01:18:13,041 Just feel like you have a few things to sort out identity-wise. 1590 01:18:13,041 --> 01:18:16,916 Yeah. Yeah, no, that, that, that, like, fully makes sense. 1591 01:18:16,916 --> 01:18:18,166 Yeah, for sure. 1592 01:18:18,166 --> 01:18:19,500 Do you have any queer friends? 1593 01:18:20,833 --> 01:18:24,583 Well, if it's not too awkward, I'd love to be your first. 1594 01:18:27,333 --> 01:18:28,333 Yeah, sure. 1595 01:18:29,750 --> 01:18:33,208 Is it normal for lesbians to be friends with the people they've hooked up with? 1596 01:18:34,500 --> 01:18:36,625 You have so much to learn. 1597 01:18:39,291 --> 01:18:41,333 - I know. 1598 01:18:42,958 --> 01:18:45,458 Softball's harder than baseball, that's what you're saying? 1599 01:18:46,375 --> 01:18:47,750 Do you mind if I cut in? 1600 01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:50,125 Nah, it's cool. 1601 01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:53,791 Grace. Um, great moves up there. 1602 01:18:53,791 --> 01:18:55,541 - How's your night going? 1603 01:18:55,541 --> 01:18:56,708 Really good. 1604 01:18:57,333 --> 01:19:00,541 Um, but, Greg, I actually have something to tell you. 1605 01:19:02,166 --> 01:19:04,375 I only helped with your promposal 1606 01:19:04,375 --> 01:19:06,166 because I wanted to spend time with you. 1607 01:19:06,416 --> 01:19:09,208 And when I learned your top choice for college was Stanford, 1608 01:19:09,208 --> 01:19:10,791 that's the only place I applied. 1609 01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:13,708 One time after gym class, 1610 01:19:13,708 --> 01:19:15,708 I even snuck into the shower you used 1611 01:19:15,708 --> 01:19:17,208 and collected some of your hair. 1612 01:19:17,625 --> 01:19:19,958 I keep it in my locket, and every so often, 1613 01:19:19,958 --> 01:19:21,541 I sniff it for good luck. 1614 01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,250 I'm in love with you, Greg. 1615 01:19:28,041 --> 01:19:29,458 You were the best banana. 1616 01:19:30,458 --> 01:19:32,875 I love you, too. I think. 1617 01:19:41,166 --> 01:19:42,500 Damn! 1618 01:19:43,458 --> 01:19:44,958 - Okay. - Okay, Greg. 1619 01:19:44,958 --> 01:19:46,083 Wow! 1620 01:19:46,083 --> 01:19:47,666 - That's happening right now. - Wow. 1621 01:19:47,666 --> 01:19:50,708 - Awesome for them. - I'm so scared. 1622 01:19:50,708 --> 01:19:53,083 Hey, h-how did it go with Angie? 1623 01:19:53,083 --> 01:19:54,166 It's pretty bad. 1624 01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,041 Oh, no, I'm sorry. Are you okay? 1625 01:19:56,041 --> 01:19:57,125 Yeah. 1626 01:19:57,750 --> 01:19:58,833 We're gonna be friends. 1627 01:19:59,166 --> 01:20:00,166 That's good. 1628 01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:05,625 - Prom kinda-- - Sucks, right? 1629 01:20:05,625 --> 01:20:06,750 Yeah, exactly. 1630 01:20:06,750 --> 01:20:08,791 Yeah. Um, wanna get out of here? 1631 01:20:09,458 --> 01:20:10,583 Fuck yeah. 1632 01:20:11,958 --> 01:20:14,625 What are you thinking, Maps? Say It Ain't So? 1633 01:20:14,625 --> 01:20:15,708 Mm. 1634 01:20:17,333 --> 01:20:20,083 Definitely both classics, but I want something harder. 1635 01:20:20,500 --> 01:20:21,500 - Mm. - Fuck. 1636 01:20:21,500 --> 01:20:22,708 What? 1637 01:20:22,708 --> 01:20:24,166 We didn't take prom pics. 1638 01:20:24,875 --> 01:20:25,958 Give me your phone. 1639 01:20:26,708 --> 01:20:27,708 Come on. 1640 01:20:33,750 --> 01:20:34,875 Done. 1641 01:20:38,666 --> 01:20:40,291 Mm! Bitch, pay attention. 1642 01:20:40,291 --> 01:20:41,416 - It's starting. - Mm! 1643 01:20:41,416 --> 01:20:42,958 - Okay. Are you ready? - Fuck yeah. 1644 01:20:42,958 --> 01:20:45,625 Alright. One, two, one, two, three! 1645 01:21:01,041 --> 01:21:04,666 {\an8}♪ You sit there in your heartache ♪ 1646 01:21:05,083 --> 01:21:08,541 {\an8}♪ Waiting on some beautiful boy to ♪ 1647 01:21:08,541 --> 01:21:12,208 {\an8}♪ To save you from your old ways ♪ 1648 01:21:12,208 --> 01:21:13,625 {\an8}♪ You play forgiveness ♪ 1649 01:21:13,625 --> 01:21:15,458 {\an8}♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪ 1650 01:21:15,458 --> 01:21:18,833 {\an8}♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1651 01:21:18,833 --> 01:21:21,416 {\an8}♪ But he talks like a gentleman ♪ 1652 01:21:21,416 --> 01:21:26,541 {\an8}♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1653 01:21:30,625 --> 01:21:34,291 {\an8}♪ Can we climb this mountain, I don't know ♪ 1654 01:21:34,291 --> 01:21:37,375 {\an8}♪ Higher now than ever before ♪ 1655 01:21:37,375 --> 01:21:41,583 {\an8}♪ I know we can make it if we take it slow ♪ 1656 01:21:41,583 --> 01:21:43,125 {\an8}♪ Let's take it easy ♪ 1657 01:21:43,125 --> 01:21:44,958 {\an8}♪ Easy now, watch it go ♪ 1658 01:21:44,958 --> 01:21:48,500 {\an8}♪ We're burning down the highway skyline ♪ 1659 01:21:48,500 --> 01:21:50,875 {\an8}♪ On the back of a hurricane ♪ 1660 01:21:50,875 --> 01:21:56,041 {\an8}♪ That started turning when you were young ♪ 1661 01:21:59,375 --> 01:22:04,166 {\an8}♪ When you were young ♪ 1662 01:22:06,708 --> 01:22:09,541 {\an8}♪ And sometimes you close your eyes ♪ 1663 01:22:09,541 --> 01:22:13,291 {\an8}♪ And see the place where you used to live ♪ 1664 01:22:14,083 --> 01:22:17,416 {\an8}♪ When you were young ♪ 1665 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:42,041 {\an8}♪ They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet ♪ 1666 01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:45,500 {\an8}♪ You don't have to drink right now ♪ 1667 01:22:46,625 --> 01:22:49,208 {\an8}♪ But you can dip your feet ♪ 1668 01:22:50,583 --> 01:22:55,041 {\an8}♪ Every once in a little while ♪ 1669 01:23:16,208 --> 01:23:19,583 {\an8}♪ You sit there in your heartache ♪ 1670 01:23:20,041 --> 01:23:23,458 {\an8}♪ Waiting on some beautiful boy to ♪ 1671 01:23:23,458 --> 01:23:27,041 {\an8}♪ To save you from your old ways ♪ 1672 01:23:27,041 --> 01:23:28,500 {\an8}♪ You play forgiveness ♪ 1673 01:23:28,500 --> 01:23:30,250 {\an8}♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪ 1674 01:23:30,250 --> 01:23:33,916 {\an8}♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1675 01:23:33,916 --> 01:23:36,250 {\an8}♪ But he talks like a gentleman ♪ 1676 01:23:36,250 --> 01:23:41,333 {\an8}♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1677 01:23:41,916 --> 01:23:43,750 {\an8}♪ Talks like a gentleman ♪ 1678 01:23:43,750 --> 01:23:49,666 {\an8}♪ Like you imagined when you were young ♪ 1679 01:23:52,291 --> 01:23:56,541 {\an8}♪ I said he doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1680 01:24:00,083 --> 01:24:04,708 {\an8}♪ He doesn't look a thing like Jesus ♪ 1681 01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:09,250 {\an8}♪ But more than you'll ever know ♪ 1682 01:24:16,375 --> 01:24:17,750 {\an8}♪ Night-oh ♪ 1683 01:24:18,250 --> 01:24:19,708 {\an8}♪ Night-oh ♪ 1684 01:24:19,708 --> 01:24:23,125 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1685 01:24:23,125 --> 01:24:26,583 {\an8}♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪ 1686 01:24:26,583 --> 01:24:30,000 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1687 01:24:36,958 --> 01:24:40,375 {\an8}♪ Please come to prom with me, my Hannah Banana ♪ 1688 01:24:40,375 --> 01:24:43,708 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1689 01:24:43,708 --> 01:24:47,208 {\an8}♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 1690 01:24:47,208 --> 01:24:50,541 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1691 01:24:50,541 --> 01:24:54,041 {\an8}♪ Night, is a night, is a night, is a night ♪ 1692 01:24:54,041 --> 01:24:57,416 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1693 01:24:57,416 --> 01:25:00,875 {\an8}♪ One foot, two foot, three foot, dance ♪ 1694 01:25:00,875 --> 01:25:04,166 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 1695 01:25:04,166 --> 01:25:07,583 {\an8}♪ Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, dance ♪ 1696 01:25:07,583 --> 01:25:10,958 {\an8}♪ Prom night come and me no wanna go alone ♪ 124811