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1
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♪ Baby, right now it feels like ♪
2
00:00:05,894 --> 00:00:09,917
♪ It feels like you don't care ♪
3
00:00:09,919 --> 00:00:13,919
♪ Oh, why don't you
recognize I'm so rare? ♪
4
00:00:15,361 --> 00:00:18,120
Why you on your own?
5
00:00:18,121 --> 00:00:22,800
You prefer it, your own company?
6
00:00:22,803 --> 00:00:25,841
♪ I don't have it all ♪
7
00:00:25,843 --> 00:00:29,865
Do you want a drink?
8
00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:32,890
I think you do.
9
00:00:32,892 --> 00:00:34,514
Okay, then.
10
00:00:34,515 --> 00:00:36,723
♪ To tell me I'm rare ♪
11
00:00:36,725 --> 00:00:40,085
♪ To make me feel rare ♪
12
00:00:40,087 --> 00:00:42,365
♪ Baby ♪
13
00:00:42,366 --> 00:00:45,725
♪ Don't make me count
up all the reasons ♪
14
00:00:45,728 --> 00:00:49,728
♪ To stay with you ♪
15
00:00:56,871 --> 00:00:59,432
I'm glad to hear things
are okay over there in Sweden
16
00:00:59,435 --> 00:01:01,329
and that the course is good.
17
00:01:01,332 --> 00:01:05,355
Everything is basically the
same here as before you left.
18
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,870
I looked up your friend,
the photographer
19
00:01:07,871 --> 00:01:09,412
on Facebook, by the way.
20
00:01:09,414 --> 00:01:11,893
He seems interesting.
21
00:01:11,894 --> 00:01:16,533
Is he your boyfriend or are
you not putting labels on it?
22
00:01:16,536 --> 00:01:18,614
I know you like the tall,
handsome guys as you say.
23
00:01:18,615 --> 00:01:20,655
So, why not Lukas,
24
00:01:20,656 --> 00:01:24,495
who looks tall and is also handsome?
25
00:01:24,498 --> 00:01:27,397
Helen has seen his photo
and agrees, but whatever.
26
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,158
I'm not pushing the boyfriend thing.
27
00:01:29,161 --> 00:01:33,120
I just hope you've confirmed
that he is not a psychopath.
28
00:01:33,121 --> 00:01:36,161
You don't always have
a good radar on that.
29
00:01:36,162 --> 00:01:38,121
Helen says hi, by the way.
30
00:01:38,122 --> 00:01:41,962
And let me know when
you're back for Christmas.
31
00:01:41,963 --> 00:01:45,963
It'd be good to see you.
32
00:01:55,447 --> 00:01:58,686
- Marianne?
- Mm-hmm?
33
00:01:58,688 --> 00:02:02,007
Oh.
34
00:02:02,009 --> 00:02:05,927
You looks nice.
35
00:02:05,930 --> 00:02:09,248
You okay?
36
00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:11,769
I'm gonna go grab something
to eat. You want to come?
37
00:02:11,771 --> 00:02:15,771
- Sure.
- Sure.
38
00:02:36,176 --> 00:02:40,176
Something the matter?
39
00:02:45,139 --> 00:02:47,418
Oh.
40
00:02:47,420 --> 00:02:51,420
Are you breaking up with me?
41
00:02:52,221 --> 00:02:55,139
Maybe.
42
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:58,501
Maybe, yeah.
43
00:02:58,502 --> 00:03:00,300
Okay, uh, can I do anything
44
00:03:00,302 --> 00:03:01,942
to stop you from breaking up with me?
45
00:03:06,504 --> 00:03:08,502
Come on.
46
00:03:08,504 --> 00:03:10,463
- Tell me, what is it?
- Look.
47
00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:12,943
I just... I don't think
48
00:03:12,945 --> 00:03:16,784
a relationship is what I want.
49
00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:20,787
What do you want?
50
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:30,028
I really like you.
51
00:03:30,031 --> 00:03:33,069
That.
52
00:03:33,070 --> 00:03:37,150
I don't... I don't want that.
53
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:41,151
I don't want you to say that.
54
00:03:41,992 --> 00:03:45,992
- Really?
- Really.
55
00:03:46,954 --> 00:03:49,353
I want...
56
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,194
if anything...
57
00:03:52,195 --> 00:03:54,194
the opposite.
58
00:03:54,195 --> 00:03:57,715
Of that.
59
00:04:01,237 --> 00:04:04,516
Yeah.
60
00:04:04,519 --> 00:04:08,519
That would be better.
61
00:04:16,442 --> 00:04:18,841
We're a bunch of, um...
62
00:04:18,843 --> 00:04:20,836
scientists and pragmatists,
you know what I mean?
63
00:04:20,838 --> 00:04:24,401
- Yeah.
- It's nice to have somebody with a little bit of creativity.
64
00:04:24,403 --> 00:04:26,826
- Thanks, Dad.
- No, I didn't...
65
00:04:26,829 --> 00:04:29,202
no, I mean, in a good way.
66
00:04:29,204 --> 00:04:33,403
- Yeah, that was nice.
- Yeah?
67
00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:37,406
They really liked you.
68
00:04:41,168 --> 00:04:43,447
They never really got on with Rory.
69
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:45,086
Right.
70
00:04:45,088 --> 00:04:46,567
Don't know why.
71
00:04:46,569 --> 00:04:49,848
Maybe he was a bit full of it.
72
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,689
He was probably a gobshite.
73
00:04:54,691 --> 00:04:57,970
- Did your mom like Marianne?
- Of course.
74
00:04:57,971 --> 00:05:01,771
Lorraine likes everybody.
75
00:05:01,773 --> 00:05:03,370
I think she felt a bit sorry for her.
76
00:05:03,372 --> 00:05:07,211
Sorry for Marianne? About what?
77
00:06:18,992 --> 00:06:22,992
I want to have a shower.
78
00:06:23,992 --> 00:06:26,031
We're not done here.
79
00:06:26,033 --> 00:06:30,673
Don't ask that, don't ask me for stuff.
80
00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:32,752
Don't move.
81
00:06:32,754 --> 00:06:36,754
I'll tell you when it's over
and you can have a shower.
82
00:06:41,156 --> 00:06:45,836
You're worthless.
83
00:06:45,838 --> 00:06:48,516
You're nothing.
84
00:06:55,641 --> 00:07:00,120
I feel so not myself at the moment.
85
00:07:00,122 --> 00:07:02,521
Not in a bad way.
86
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:06,523
I just feel outside of
my own life somehow.
87
00:07:07,963 --> 00:07:11,043
Sometimes, someone will
make eye contact with me
88
00:07:11,045 --> 00:07:14,963
like a bus conductor or a
person looking for change.
89
00:07:14,966 --> 00:07:19,004
And I'll feel shocked that
anyone can actually see me.
90
00:07:19,007 --> 00:07:21,845
And there's something
comforting about it.
91
00:07:21,846 --> 00:07:25,326
Something good about
feeling sort of numb.
92
00:07:25,327 --> 00:07:27,887
Detached from it all.
93
00:07:27,889 --> 00:07:32,007
Does that make sense?
94
00:07:39,531 --> 00:07:41,889
Thank you for bringing us to the fucking
95
00:07:41,891 --> 00:07:45,011
most depressing Christmas party ever.
96
00:07:45,012 --> 00:07:46,899
Look at the roof. Look at that roof.
97
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,971
It's the most, single-handedly
the most depressing place...
98
00:07:49,973 --> 00:07:51,413
I'm having a great time.
99
00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:58,853
All right.
100
00:07:58,855 --> 00:08:02,855
Yeah, four lagers, please. Thanks.
101
00:08:04,218 --> 00:08:07,976
- Connell Waldron.
- All right, Peggy.
102
00:08:09,259 --> 00:08:10,560
Jesus Christ,
103
00:08:10,562 --> 00:08:14,343
haven't seen you in such a long time.
104
00:08:14,346 --> 00:08:16,329
How's Marianne getting
on? I heard she's up to
105
00:08:16,331 --> 00:08:17,978
some interesting stuff over in Sweden.
106
00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:20,180
I'm so fuckin' jealous.
107
00:08:20,182 --> 00:08:22,646
Jamie was saying she was
into some weird stuff.
108
00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:25,901
Like, bondage and shit. Was that you?
109
00:08:25,903 --> 00:08:27,731
Did you like, kick her
off on all that stuff?
110
00:08:27,733 --> 00:08:29,901
Fuck off, Peggy.
111
00:08:29,903 --> 00:08:31,622
I'm just talking about
stuff I've heard here...
112
00:08:31,625 --> 00:08:35,625
Yeah, and I don't want
to hear about it, thanks.
113
00:08:49,068 --> 00:08:51,586
You all right?
114
00:08:51,588 --> 00:08:54,307
What's up?
115
00:08:54,309 --> 00:08:56,469
It's just Peggy.
116
00:08:56,471 --> 00:08:58,908
Saying shit about Marianne.
117
00:08:58,911 --> 00:09:00,429
Oh.
118
00:09:00,432 --> 00:09:04,432
- Saying what?
- Oh, just shit.
119
00:09:08,273 --> 00:09:11,032
- What?
- She just...
120
00:09:11,033 --> 00:09:15,033
seems to be a person that
people like to talk about.
121
00:09:16,195 --> 00:09:18,994
Right.
122
00:09:18,995 --> 00:09:22,475
And... I don't know that she...
123
00:09:22,476 --> 00:09:26,476
necessarily has a problem with that.
124
00:09:27,638 --> 00:09:31,638
Uh, what do you mean?
125
00:09:32,479 --> 00:09:36,501
I mean, she sort of
fucking invites it, Connell.
126
00:09:36,504 --> 00:09:40,504
Enjoys it.
127
00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:48,201
Why are you so bothered?
128
00:10:01,086 --> 00:10:05,086
Well, I'm gonna go in. I'm cold.
129
00:10:20,571 --> 00:10:22,529
From your emails, it doesn't sound like
130
00:10:22,532 --> 00:10:24,009
you're completely happy in Sweden.
131
00:10:24,011 --> 00:10:26,811
Maybe I'm wrong.
132
00:10:26,812 --> 00:10:29,375
I think I know the feeling of
being detached from the world,
133
00:10:29,376 --> 00:10:34,013
although I haven't felt that way lately.
134
00:10:37,455 --> 00:10:38,836
Not to put pressure on you at all,
135
00:10:38,838 --> 00:10:40,854
because it's obviously your decision.
136
00:10:40,855 --> 00:10:44,879
But I'm sad to hear you're
not coming home for Christmas.
137
00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:47,172
Thinking it over, I don't
think I've ever gone
138
00:10:47,173 --> 00:10:51,173
a whole year of my life
without seeing you before.
139
00:10:52,938 --> 00:10:56,938
At least not since we were 11 or 12.
140
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:05,260
Anyway, that's just my
way of saying I miss you.
141
00:11:06,261 --> 00:11:10,261
And I'm looking forward to seeing
you, whenever that will be.
142
00:11:11,864 --> 00:11:15,863
Will you send a message to let
me know how you're getting on?
143
00:11:15,865 --> 00:11:18,783
Or we could even talk on
the phone if you want.
144
00:11:24,307 --> 00:11:28,934
I hope things are okay.
145
00:11:28,937 --> 00:11:30,677
It just doesn't make any sense
146
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:34,679
to come back for such
a short amount of time.
147
00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:42,428
Hello?
148
00:11:42,431 --> 00:11:44,950
I heard you.
149
00:11:44,951 --> 00:11:47,711
I have a lot of work on.
150
00:11:47,712 --> 00:11:50,431
- It's Christmas.
- Yeah.
151
00:11:50,432 --> 00:11:54,432
I'm aware.
152
00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:59,273
So you'll stay in Sweden
on Christmas Day?
153
00:11:59,274 --> 00:12:03,274
I don't know. I'll work or something.
154
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:10,596
And we'll see you when exactly?
155
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:14,037
I don't know.
156
00:12:14,038 --> 00:12:16,197
Right.
157
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,998
Well, I better not keep
you. You sound very busy.
158
00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:24,840
Bye.
159
00:13:45,301 --> 00:13:49,019
I've been thinking
a lot about the summer.
160
00:13:49,022 --> 00:13:53,461
And about Jamie and Peggy.
161
00:13:53,462 --> 00:13:55,942
I'm trying to figure out
if I ever really thought
162
00:13:55,943 --> 00:13:59,143
that that was friendship.
163
00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:01,863
That it was real.
164
00:14:01,865 --> 00:14:04,864
Or if I just liked the feeling of it.
165
00:14:04,865 --> 00:14:08,865
The pretense of it.
166
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:15,547
You must be getting ready to go home.
167
00:14:15,548 --> 00:14:19,548
When I think of Christmastime,
now, I think of Carricklea.
168
00:14:20,909 --> 00:14:24,149
I imagine a Christmas
tree in your front room.
169
00:14:24,150 --> 00:14:26,950
Covered in tinsel.
170
00:14:26,951 --> 00:14:30,951
I can't picture my house at all.
171
00:14:32,192 --> 00:14:35,272
I miss you.
172
00:14:58,639 --> 00:15:02,077
I'm gonna take your photo.
173
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,639
What do you mean?
174
00:15:04,640 --> 00:15:07,480
I have an idea.
175
00:15:07,481 --> 00:15:11,480
- When?
- Tomorrow.
176
00:15:11,482 --> 00:15:15,482
Okay.
177
00:15:17,443 --> 00:15:21,443
Come in the shower.
178
00:15:22,884 --> 00:15:26,884
Come. Come closer to the water.
179
00:15:30,927 --> 00:15:32,245
What you been up to?
180
00:15:32,248 --> 00:15:34,645
I am on part seven,
181
00:15:34,648 --> 00:15:37,767
um, of this documentary
about the American civil war.
182
00:15:37,769 --> 00:15:39,687
Jesus.
183
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:42,134
I've got lots of knowledge about
American Civil War Generals
184
00:15:42,135 --> 00:15:45,209
that I can't wait to share with you.
185
00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:49,211
So what about you? How's Lukas?
186
00:15:50,971 --> 00:15:52,811
How's it going?
187
00:15:52,812 --> 00:15:55,010
Yeah, okay.
188
00:15:55,013 --> 00:15:57,172
Do you like him?
189
00:15:57,173 --> 00:16:00,091
It's not that sort of thing.
190
00:16:00,094 --> 00:16:04,094
He's fine. I mean, I
don't really feel...
191
00:16:05,176 --> 00:16:09,294
Okay.
192
00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:35,701
Hey.
193
00:16:35,702 --> 00:16:39,702
Hi.
194
00:16:50,027 --> 00:16:52,264
Nearly done.
195
00:16:52,267 --> 00:16:56,267
Okay.
196
00:17:05,431 --> 00:17:07,108
I still don't know with the light yet.
197
00:17:10,471 --> 00:17:13,671
Maybe we can do, like...
198
00:17:13,673 --> 00:17:15,790
first one...
199
00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,872
like this, and then another one.
200
00:17:17,874 --> 00:17:21,913
And we'll see.
201
00:17:21,914 --> 00:17:22,952
Okay.
202
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,919
Do you want me to...
203
00:17:49,921 --> 00:17:51,759
Sure, just the jumper for now.
204
00:18:03,244 --> 00:18:07,244
Untie your hair.
205
00:18:11,126 --> 00:18:15,126
Maybe take this off now.
206
00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:36,731
Can we not do this now?
207
00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:40,451
This is what you wanted.
208
00:18:51,537 --> 00:18:55,537
Good.
209
00:18:57,538 --> 00:18:59,737
It's been a while since
I've heard from you.
210
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,336
Is everything all right?
211
00:19:03,338 --> 00:19:05,938
I wonder if I said something
stupid in my last email.
212
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:09,461
And I hope not, but I'm sorry if I did.
213
00:19:09,463 --> 00:19:11,204
I know you told me the reason you're not
214
00:19:11,207 --> 00:19:13,068
coming home at Christmas
has to do with your family,
215
00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:16,621
and maybe I shouldn't
have brushed over that.
216
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,340
Good.
217
00:19:19,343 --> 00:19:20,781
I'm sorry to bring this up
218
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,790
because I know we both
feel awkward about it,
219
00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:24,262
but I haven't forgotten the things
220
00:19:24,265 --> 00:19:26,222
you told me when we were in Italy,
221
00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:29,023
and I hope you know that none
of those things are your fault,
222
00:19:29,026 --> 00:19:30,423
and there is nothing wrong with you.
223
00:19:30,425 --> 00:19:32,664
Open your eyes.
224
00:19:32,666 --> 00:19:34,807
I'm tired.
225
00:19:34,809 --> 00:19:36,184
Open your fucking eyes.
226
00:19:36,186 --> 00:19:38,826
You are a good person,
227
00:19:38,827 --> 00:19:42,851
and I say that as someone
who really knows you.
228
00:19:42,853 --> 00:19:45,714
I know I reacted very stupidly
that night and to be honest,
229
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:47,177
I'm lucky that we're still friends
230
00:19:47,180 --> 00:19:51,336
because it was such an
idiotic thing to do.
231
00:19:51,337 --> 00:19:53,599
Just because people
treat you badly at times,
232
00:19:53,602 --> 00:19:55,383
and I include myself
in that, by the way,
233
00:19:55,384 --> 00:19:59,407
it doesn't mean you deserve
to be treated badly.
234
00:19:59,410 --> 00:20:02,872
A lot of people love
you and care about you.
235
00:20:02,874 --> 00:20:05,873
I hope you know that.
236
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:09,634
No.
237
00:20:09,635 --> 00:20:11,713
Don't make this hard on yourself.
238
00:20:11,715 --> 00:20:15,715
I don't want to do this.
239
00:20:20,198 --> 00:20:24,198
No.
240
00:21:11,153 --> 00:21:14,153
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