Original subtitles

When I was a little girl, my family and I used to travel a lot.

Well, my parents did anyway.

I would only really travel as far as Montana, the big sky country, home of

Knievel, Custer's Last Stand, and Aunt Edna.

Every summer, my parents would pack me up and take me to her house while they

would go off on one of their grand adventures.

It's not that I didn't like Aunt Edna.

It's just that all we ever did was make jam, and then when we were done, we

would make more jam.

It was during those long summer days that I learned to love art. I'd sit on

front porch with my crayons and create a new world, one that helped me deal with

my isolation and loneliness.

When I was coloring, I was free.

Free to be anywhere I wanted.

Free from jam.

I drew the things around me and saw the world with new eyes.

But I really longed for someone to play with, to talk to.

I needed a friend.

And then one day it happened.

That was the day.

I met Zod.

Thank you.

Thank you.

longer what are you up to i've been working on my own art piece ah

hey you can't touch it this is a work of art okay this is your nose these are

your beautiful eyes

come back until I find it. You lost it again?

I don't know what I ever saw in that sniveling, slimy, no -good weasel. I

believe it was his eyes.

Hey, what are you working on? Uh, nothing.

Oh, yeah, right. I can believe that.

Jessica? Come on, Abby, let me see it.

Okay.

Oh.

Guy? Mm -hmm.

Oh, he's hot.

No wonder I never get to meet him. Okay, that's enough.

You know, I'm telling you, Abby, it is time... you start showing your work in

galleries. I don't know. I'm just not ready yet.

Well, sometimes you just gotta take a chance.

You know what? Sounds like a great idea, but I am late for school. Bye.

What about my name tag?

Use mine!

I tried that last week.

Congratulations, Cal. That's quite a feat. Thank you.

Now, how do you plan on getting it out of here?

Through the door?

Good luck with that.

Oh, yeah. That's not going to fit.

Realism can be expressed as a...

of the irrational state of our subconscious.

What did Nyman say on page 52 of your reading about Surrealists?

Come on.

Anybody.

Please tell me somebody read the assignment.

It's Morrison.

Well, he said that Surrealists believe that the dream state, it could be just

relevant as our waking lives.

Yes.

They also construe that the universe is only as real as it seems.

And sometimes, things that feel the most real are the least substantive.

Like these papers?

No, Mr.

Andrews. You weren't dreaming.

That is a real D.

Professor, I think you made a mistake in my paper.

No, Mr.

Andrews. The mistake was when you took this class thinking you had an easy

humanity credit.

I understand, but I really need this credit.

You should have thought about that six weeks ago.

But do you stand?

Well, it's your finest hour.

I just don't get the stupid pseudo -surrealist crap.

It's not crap.

What'd you say?

I said it's not crap.

How do you know?

Oh, A+. Sorry.

I didn't know I was speaking to an expert.

Well, now you know.

You really need to work on your people skills.

Wow.

A third time today, man.

Nick?

Meaning of level?

No, that's okay.

Why don't you come on down and follow me? I've got a job less complicated for

you.

Here you go.

Have a nice day. See you later.

Jessica's late again.

Well, you told her not to come back without her name tag.

I did.

Four hours ago.

Probably just the looking heart, Ryan.

I like you, Abby. I do.

That's why I'm telling you this, because I know that you depend on Jessica for

part of the rent.

What are you trying to say, Ryan? I mean, you're not going to fire her

she lost her name tag. Look, name tags are company policy.

Besides, a patron is 76 % more likely to talk to someone with a name tag than

without.

Look, you want to save her job.

I understand that.

Stay till she gets here.

Why? We're short.

Ryan, there's no one in the store.

That's beside the point.

No!

She works books. I mean, I work coffee. It doesn't even make any sense.

Are you arguing with me?

No, I'm not. I'm just... Brian, look, tonight's my anniversary, and I'm

to be making dinner for my boyfriend, so it just... I don't want you to go home.

I do.

What if your little friend thinks she can come in whenever she wants and

has to cover for her?

Are we clear?

That's mud.

Good. I think all these should be straight.

Excuse me, welcome to Borders.

Oh.

You don't happen to carry the idiot's guide to art appreciation?

I was told it has lots of pictures.

Mm -hmm. I think it's in the juvenile section.

That's good. It's even sort of funny.

So, do you want to order something, or what? Did you just come here to annoy

Wow, okay.

Let me get the chocolate cheesecake.

Okay, would you like any coffee with that? To be perfectly honest, I feel

you might spit in it.

Hmm.

It's clever.

You don't like me much, do you?

It's funny. I thought you were slow.

Abigail.

It's a weird name.

It's Abby.

Well, have a nice day.

Cheesecake?

Here you go.

One of these. These will work for you.

They're on the house.

No, it's all on me.

Oh, God.

The dream is now becoming real.

Only yesterday it had no appeal.

But I guess things change.

Little me.

conversation like that. You know my cousin, the one who just transferred

this semester?

Well, I don't know him, know him. Well, you're going to. He's coming over for

dinner tonight.

What? No, Jess. I was wondering if you knew where I could find a book on

embroidery.

What? Don't you work here?

Do I look like I work here?

He's not that bad, I promise. It's just that I wasn't expecting to see him and I

really didn't know what to say.

And he mentioned that we should get together.

And I sort of said, sure, you know, because that's what you say. And he's

well, okay, dinner tonight.

And I'm like, you know how I am with the no word.

No, Jessica.

No, it's my anniversary. I'm making dinner for Cy. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I don't have his new number.

Well, maybe I could, like, walk around campus and find him.

No. You know what? It's fine, actually. It's fine. Don't worry about it. He can

come over?

You can come over.

Bye. Thanks, Abby.

Okay, bye.

Hi, Ryan.

Happy anniversary.

They're beautiful.

You've made dinner for me, have you?

You know, you didn't need to do that.

Yeah.

Um... I didn't.

I was going to, but Jess called and she said that she's going to bring her

cousin over for dinner.

What, here?

On our anniversary?

Mm -hmm.

I know.

I'm sorry.

Well, I mean, that's fine.

I mean, no, actually, it's good.

It's... You don't mind?

Come on.

How could I be mad with you?

I can't.

We'll just... You know what?

We're going to do something fun afterwards.

Yeah. Yeah, we could go see a movie.

We'll go see one of those romantic movies.

You like us your movies.

I know you do.

Thank you.

No, he said that if I stayed, he wouldn't fire you.

I don't know why you dated him in the first place.

You know, sometimes I wish I had a boyfriend like Cy.

Yeah, he would never fire you.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Oh, I really needed that job.

Why don't you get another one?

Easier said than done.

Here.

You need them more than I do.

Oh.

I don't think any guy I've dated has ever given me flowers.

Ever.

Well, except Ryan the super slut when he cheated on me with that lunch lady.

Hey, didn't Ryan the narcissist send you flowers once?

Yeah, only so he could hear himself compliment himself for a week. I just

understand. So many guys in the world. Why do you only date guys with the name

of Ryan?

It's my curse.

Abby, do you get that?

Oh!

Cubby!

Turn it down!

Oh, hi.

Hi. Um, come on in. I'm Abby. Hi. Nice to meet you. She's just running a few

minutes late.

Okay. Hi.

Hi.

Who's this?

Oh, this isn't your cousin?

He's not my cousin.

Let's keep seeing it.

Hey, I... Megan doesn't live here, does

she?

Next door.

Apartment 14.

Right. Nice to meet you.

You too.

Hey, brother.

Hey,

Jess. Hey, cuz.

Abigail, right?

Abby. Yeah.

You two know each other?

Oh, we've met before.

Really? When?

Well, more in the same art depreciation class.

And then today when I came by the bookstore to find you... Don't go there.

where?

Am I missing something?

No. Yes.

Tell me now.

Well, come in.

Have a seat.

So, what's with the pajamas?

Bad day.

Okay, pajamas it is.

I got fired.

You what?

Oh, this egomaniac that I work for has had it out for me ever since I dumped

him. Let me take a guess.

Ryan?

You know him?

Let's just call it a hunt.

He's not going to want to come, George.

Well, it's worth asking.

Honey, why don't you bring something in with you? Like, why don't you bring that

turkey?

You're right. Who could resist this turkey?

Yahoo!

Abigail! Hey, Mrs. Morrison.

Oh, hi, Jessica.

Mom, Dad, I wasn't expecting you guys. Did you want something?

Well, we're just fine, aren't we, George?

Oh, who's this nice young man?

Oh, this is my cousin, Quentin. Nice to meet you. How do you do, Quentin?

Mom, Dad, I asked you what you wanted. We're going to the cemetery.

Going to decorate for Thanksgiving.

You... decorate a relative's grave for the holidays?

Oh, no, dear. We decorate our own graves.

You see, George bought our plots as a 20th anniversary present.

I thought the poor things looked a little empty.

So for our 25th anniversary, Mary Louise bought a headstone. It's got Morrison

written in big letters. And then George on one side and Mary Louise on the

other. So we'll always be together.

Oh, sweetie.

So please, come with us this time.

No. Yes, please. You never come. Mom, I don't want to go decorate my parents'

graves.

With my parents. I have a cemetery. Don't people complain?

Honey, they can't. They're dead.

Oh, show her the turkey.

Maybe Quentin and Jessica could come along.

Thank you, but I'm not much of a decorator.

Abigail always says that, and she's quite the artist. Mom, nobody's

here. You're just going to have to go be morbid by yourself. Sorry. Well, you're

just going to have to miss a good time then.

In that case, you must come along with Abigail and Jessica to Thanksgiving.

Why? I'm not going to take no for an answer.

Trust me, she won't. Well, if it's no trouble. I wouldn't ask if it were.

Mother, can I please speak to you for a second, please? Now, look, I am sure

that he's already got plans for that day. Well, he wouldn't say yes if he

already had plans. Do you?

There, that's settled. Mother, I don't want him to come.

I don't want him to come. If I could interject, please.

Oh, what nice manners.

Maybe it's best if I just...

pass on the invitation well she didn't invite you dear i did we're off we'll

you over there nice meeting you

That's like five steps.

I made ramen. It's only three.

Tear it open, dump it in, throw it away.

So, how are your classes?

They're all right. I mean, if I don't pass this art class, I could pretty much

say goodbye to law school. Oh, Abby could teach you. She's a great teacher.

No, she's not.

Well, but you want to be.

And what better way to get experience than by teaching someone?

He is not teachable.

I'm a great student.

That's doubtful.

Look, I'll make you a deal.

You help me pass art class.

And I won't ruin your Thanksgiving.

Yeah, no.

You see, spending four hours with you and my parents is so much easier than

spending an entire semester tutoring you.

Okay.

What if I get just her job back and I don't come to your Thanksgiving

dinner? We do need the right money. And that's my final offer.

No, and that is my final answer.

Okay. You know what, Abby?

You're right.

I mean, you have bailed me out one too many times. Well, thank you.

So, I'll just go upstairs and pack my bag.

Don't worry, I'll be out of your hair by the morning.

Jess.

No, it's fine. I've always wanted to know what it'd be like to live in a

cardboard box.

Okay, okay.

Jess, it's fine. I got it. It's... Okay, listen.

You get Jess her job back and you don't come with me for Thanksgiving and...

You've got a deal.

Who in the world has parents who decorate their own grave?

I mean, I must have been adopted. Oh, gosh.

Oh, and I got conned into helping this boy out with his homework.

He's a decent chap, isn't he?

I don't know.

Would you like him? Yeah, I feel like a migraine.

Oh, come on.

Well, if you need some help, maybe you should just give him a hand.

No, I think he's obnoxious.

Well, don't you think that maybe as a teacher you might have to deal with one

two obnoxious students?

No, I don't think as a teacher I'm going to have to deal with one or two

obnoxious students.

No!

look at this?

Huh? Well, you seem to know the routine around here.

What's the standard time of staring at something like this without looking too

pretentious? Yeah, well, it's not about a set period of time.

You just have to appreciate what the artist is trying to say.

It looks like spaghetti.

Okay, well, to you, it might.

You know, I happen to see something else.

Fettuccine. Got it. You dismiss everything you don't understand.

I haven't dismissed you yet, have I?

Look, all I'm saying is my kid sister could paint something more realistic,

she's ten.

It's not about realism. It's about how it makes you feel. And it makes me feel

hungry. Okay, well, if you want a good grade, you're going to look past the

spaghetti.

Oh, wow.

Did you feel that?

We just had our first moment.

You're an idiot.

But you felt nothing, huh? But just a little bit?

So your parents are cool?

To you, maybe.

What does that mean?

It means you didn't grow up with them.

So what's the deal?

I don't know you well enough to tell you my life history.

Come on.

They weren't around a lot.

End of story.

Do you want to hear my life story?

No, I don't, actually.

Come on, it involves fire, juggling, and a midget.

So, uh, you up for something to eat?

I think I'll pass, but thank you.

What, you have a better offer?

Maybe.

What?

I was thinking, with your quirky personality...

You must not go out so often.

I get plenty of dates.

In fact, that's where I'm headed as soon as I'm finished helping you.

Really? Yeah, don't act so shocked.

What's his name?

His name is... It's none of your business.

That's what I thought.

His name is Cy, which is short for Simon.

Are you always this annoying?

I like to call it being honest.

Well, Mr.

Andrews... There is such a thing as being a bit too on end.

Hey, Quinn, it's Nikki. I thought we could study together for law tonight,

then maybe we... Hey, Quinn, it's Cal.

You know, if you press this button, you can leave a memo.

Check one, mark check, sibilance, sibilance.

Hey, Quinn, it's Lisa.

I thought we could go dance.

How's it going?

Hey, man.

What's going on? When did you get back?

Just now. How was your day?

It was good. I met a girl.

Just be careful, bro. That's a four -letter word.

No, she's different.

Actually, I think the proper term today is challenged.

No, Cal.

She's... Better.

Better? Come on, was she better than the cheerleader?

Yeah, too bubbly.

What about the librarian?

Boring. That cute little red -headed chick.

No eyebrows.

Yeah, well, they're all different, man. That's why they just call them women.

Quick question.

Yeah. When are you going to get a new game?

They make new games.

Language section.

financial book you have in your hand here.

Financial section's over there.

Look what we did.

Look what they did.

See this?

Well, look at this.

They're working on the 19 and 1 quarter. I mean, I can't see anything like this.

Eastern. He resorts on the same show. It'd be good.

Okay.

I obviously didn't get the memo.

Can I help you guys?

Get us the manager, son. I'm the manager?

You're Mr.

Founders. Mr.

Sanders. What I said. There he is right there.

And you are? Schlossky. Schlossky. Jack Schlossky. Managing Director of

Corporate Infrastructure. You didn't get the L -10 memo, did you?

L -10?

There goes the Q4 profits.

Q4 profits. Who said anything about the Q4 profits?

He just... We just drove in from corporate.

Oh, from Michigan.

Yes, from Michigan.

18 -hour drive.

Without a bathroom stop.

Without a bathroom stop, if that helps illustrate the seriousness of the

situation. Do we have a problem?

The problem is, you have your store in the old format. This is last year's

format here, son.

I... I didn't know we had a format. Marketing has determined consumers have

easier time locating books if you move everything from there to there, from

there to there, yada, yada, yada. It's all outlined right here in this packet.

You can't be serious.

Oh, we can be serious. We've been serious. We're serious right now. Bottom

is if you don't move these sections, we move you.

You get the point, eh?

Are you sure you're from corporate? Yes. He just transferred in from the

Canadian corporate offices.

Oh. Yeah, they're just like the American offices, just with hockey.

The whole store?

You won't be responsible for losing franchising rights.

No. Because I have the power to shut this place down. He does. I do. You've

the power. The power. What power?

Of Grayskull.

Hey, look, it's just I'm a little short -staffed right now. And why is that, Mr.

Sanders? Well, I had to let somebody go. Who?

Jessica Lindstrom. Why?

She had some less -than -desirable work habits.

Lindstrom. Jessica, look that up.

Lindstrom. It's L -L -Y. L -I -N.

There's, yeah, it's D. It's right after D. Ah, ah, ah. Too many letters. No,

shh, shh, shh.

You guys dated?

How did you know that?

It's in your personal records. We know everything.

Everything? Everything.

Everything. You fired someone? You dated?

You crazy man.

You want to open yourself up to a multi -million dollar lawsuit?

No, geez, no. Then I suggest you hire her back.

Immediately. With the raise.

Without question. There shouldn't be any questioning.

Now, go get your store in order.

I will, I will. You know what? You got one week. One week, then we come back

with the auditors.

The auditors are coming? Mm -hmm. Prime director from corporate C3PO.

Can I get your business card?

Why?

So you can call me looking for answers to questions you clearly should know?

I don't think so, son. I understand.

I understand. Go. Okay.

Hey, baby, where are you?

I'm wanting to love you all over.

Come closer.

Kiss me.

If Monet is regarded as the impressionist par excellence, one must

both Degas and Renoir also... If you

don't pay attention, it's not going to work.

I just don't get it. It's so boring.

Where's your bathroom?

It's down the hallway.

These are really good.

This isn't the bathroom.

What's this?

It's not done.

You know, I know a place we could show these. I bet you'd make money off this.

You know what?

It's just, it's really not about money for me, so... Then why do it?

I have to tell you, it's not worth it.

Go, go! There are always two people in art.

The observer and the observed.

Remember, art is subjective.

Each person gains new insights as they allow themselves to become immersed in

art. Let's turn to this last week's assignment.

What new insights did you gain from the exhibit?

Mr. Andrews? Well, there's this one artist named

Dylan Thompson who said, Surrealism has less to do with what is

random and senseless and more to do with accepting that our lives don't always

have to make sense.

Go on.

Well, I remember looking at one of his paintings, and for someone willing to

take the time,

they could really find something deeper to connect with.

That's valid.

Kind of.

Like those who judge people before they get to know what's really inside.

Good observation.

Now, let's turn to page 621.

You see what she created?

Oh, I didn't do anything.

You taught. I learned.

So... Ty's cool with this whole tutoring thing, right?

Yeah, yeah. He's pretty understanding.

Great. See you later.

Hey,

Abby.

Yeah?

Thanks for your help.

You're welcome.

I love that movie. Me too.

We've only seen it like 30 times.

32. We can't sing.

What guy would ever indulge me like this?

That is just what I was thinking.

Weird.

It was great. Yeah, you're right. I think it was Goethe who said that people

rarely love others for who they really are, but rather what they imagine them

be. Right.

So, go and prepare for takeoff. Okay.

Ready? One, two, three.

you imagine me to be?

An angel.

Oh, we can eat. But obviously, I know that you're really a flesh -eating

I sure am.

It's cold.

There's snow everywhere.

Anyway, turning to the subject of imagination, I believe it was

said, don't follow Shakespeare.

Hey, Jess.

Hey.

Wow. You look like death warmed over.

Quinn's plan to help helped too much.

Ryan's killing us trying to get the books reorganized.

Oh, by the way, Quinn called for you.

Really?

You like him. No, I don't. Oh, I think he likes you.

You never know. He may ask you out.

No, he won't.

Why? Because, um...

He thinks I have a boyfriend.

You didn't tell him about Psy, did you?

Sort of.

Which part of sort of?

Like Psy's sort of not real?

Like he's imaginary?

Sort of.

Okay, Abby, what's up with Psy?

You know, he's just there for me all the time.

That's great when you were five, but what about now?

Quinn's real.

And he likes you.

He's going to think I'm crazy.

I didn't think you were crazy when you told me. We were five years old. We

didn't know any better.

Tell him, okay?

Abby, don't tell him.

Okay, okay, this can work.

This has got to work.

Hold everything!

In the world history section, someone had them in gardening.

No, no.

God, this is impossible.

I'm going to kill Quinn.

What?

Nothing. We should be halfway done by now. We're not even through the youth

section yet. We'll be fine. It's starting to pick up. No, it isn't.

If we don't get this turned around, corporate's going to have my job.

How's it feel?

I need you to work Thanksgiving.

I can't. I'll pay you double.

Triple.

Cal,

what are you doing?

Fixing your car.

But my car's not broken.

You know what? You should just go to Abby's.

Am I supposed to walk?

Well, I mean, obviously your car is broken.

Bro, it was working because you came out here. Kitten, kitten, kitten. Why don't

you just walk away? It'll be done by the time you get back, okay?

Alrighty. Great.

some of my favorite. What is it?

One flunk food.

One flunk nothing.

I thought it was funny.

It was cute.

Oh, good.

Chinese.

I am starving.

Oh, not so good.

Brian has been working Thanksgiving.

What? No. Jessica, you promised.

I'm sorry.

He's paying me triple.

What was that, stupid?

Not stupid, just greedy.

I'm going to take mine to go.

Don't study too hard.

Did Jess just steal half our dinner?

Yeah, pretty much.

Here, take your fortune before she comes back and steals that. I love these.

And Confucius says it is important to look out for that

which you cannot see.

Huh.

What the hell does that mean?

I have no idea.

Bye. What are you doing?

I know when I'm not wanted.

Is this about last night?

I just hope that you're happy with him.

With Quinn? Of course with Quinn.

If he breaks your heart, I swear... What are you going to do, hmm?

Are you going to, like, stab him with some imaginary sword?

Careful. Sorry.

That man is a player.

He's a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Wait a second. Hey, that's mine.

Actually, we bought this together. You can have the telly. It won't fit in my

bag. All right, stop. Enough. Sit down.

Now you listen to me. I am not going to leave you for him, okay?

You promise?

Mm -hmm.

Then prove it to me.

Fine. Anything.

Well, do you have to spend so much time spoon -feeding that baboon?

I mean, couldn't you just lend him one of your art books?

He can't read, can he?

That I have the wrong door.

Wait, then maybe I have the wrong door. Why does this keep happening to me?

Is Quinn here?

Yes. Yes.

Yes. Okay, we're both in the right place then. Good.

Well, I've actually seen you before. You're at the bookstore.

What bookstore?

Borders on 5th.

What do I look like?

You look like you.

You know, except you're wearing pants.

Pants.

Yeah, all right. That sounds like that could have been me.

Yeah, all right. Come on in.

Oh, yeah, you're the artist -type person that's helping Quinn with his homework.

Uh, yeah.

The one who's dating that guy with that really weird name.

Cy, right.

That's not that weird.

Um, do you think you could just give this to Quinn for me, please?

You know what? No, no.

It's not really not a good idea. I tend to lose things, and then when I lose

them, Quinn gets mad.

Then when he gets mad, he yells, and I fear the yelling.

So maybe you should just give it to him yourself, okay?

Okay.

Your face is good.

You want some chicken salad?

I made it with ham.

Hey, I didn't expect to see you. Oh, yeah, you know, Calvin let me in. Oh,

great. You want something to eat or drink? I think Calvin ate chicken

No, actually, I just came by to give you this book.

Oh, great. We can study here.

Yeah, I was just kind of thinking, you know, you could study by yourself.

Whoa, whoa.

Are you trying to bail on our deal?

No.

Good.

Here we go.

Um, you know what? I think I'm just going to go missing for a little while

Oh. I hope you're not leaving because of me.

That's totally because of you. This is just weird.

Awkwardness. Well, it was nice meeting you. Nice meeting you, too.

Abby. That could have been it.

He's a little... Different.

I believe the proper term used today is challenged.

Okay, so, um, 202, 203.

Yeah, up to 205, and, um,

uh, the top of 207, and, and, yeah, I think you should be good.

All right.

Hey, uh, you hungry?

Uh, no.

Fine.

You're not hungry at all?

Uh -uh, no, I'm good, thank you, though.

Look me in the eye and tell me you're not hungry.

You almost there. Quinn, I'm a little... I'm a little hungry.

Great, let's get something...

You actually want me to believe that Johann Vermeer traced his art?

He used a camera.

Vermeer is a 17th century artist.

There weren't any cameras back then.

He used a camera obscura, which was a primitive camera.

Basically, it would project the image onto the canvas.

You'd be surprised by the number of 17th century artists who experimented with

it. Just think about it.

You get hired to paint a great grand duke or a bishop.

You cannot take any risk.

Okay. Look at the lighting.

The perspective.

Most of the models in the paintings are left -handed.

Well, so what?

Most people are right -handed.

The projections would have mirrored the image.

What happened to the guy that didn't know anything about art?

It was a lot easier to hate him.

Minor in history.

There you go.

Oh, um, let me... Oh, please. My treat.

Thank you.

I want to show you something.

You want to show me something?

It's a surprise.

Yeah,

no, thank you. I'm not good at surprises.

Oh, we're going to change that.

I want you to consider this a new experience, okay?

Come on.

So a bunch of local artists have an exhibit here about, I don't know, once a

month. Just thought you might want to check it out.

How do you find out about this place?

Oh, I come for the music.

Oh. Yeah, all kinds of bands come in and out of here.

Next week, Braids performing.

Oh, really? I like them.

That's cool.

Why don't you check out the artwork and I'll grab us some drinks.

I used to have this phobia of clowns.

I never did figure out the origin.

Stephen King's It didn't really help my condition either.

Well, I think they're beautiful.

Thanks. You're an artist?

I am an art student.

Don't worry. It took me a while to admit I was an artist too.

Is everything okay?

I think I should go.

Yeah, okay. Sure. Okay.

Quinn.

Thanks again.

I'll pay you back, I promise.

I know you will. Well, hey, you guys have a good time, and you have a

boyfriend. No, he's not. You have a terrific boyfriend.

This must be so exciting for you.

That girl was kind of cute.

Someone jealous?

No.

She's someone I've known for a real long time.

Her mom got sick, so I lent her money to fly home.

That's it.

You got to go home soon, huh?

Mm -hmm.

In a little bit.

Good. You up for another surprise?

so pretty yeah hey isn't that calvin out

of the way that's the zamboni thing i'm canadian i can't ride you like to skate

i'm actually pretty good at it great then you could teach me you

brought me here and you don't know how to skate

I, um, there's, um, something that I need to tell you about Psy. What's that?

I, um... Oh, gosh!

Okay, okay.

What was Psy thinking? Well, he...

The pants.

What are you talking about?

I thought we were playing word association.

No, just shut off the light.

Yeah, no, I'm too tired.

You just walked past it. And that should show you how tired I am.

Shut off the light.

So, how's Tabby?

It's Abby.

That's what I said, Tabby.

She's great.

So, what happens next?

I don't know.

Like, I like her, but she's got this boyfriend.

Oh, yeah, you know, she told me about that guy. He sounds really cool.

Oh, yeah, no, you don't stand a chance.

Oh, great.

She went out with you, though, didn't she?

Yeah. Well, then maybe she'll settle for somebody like you. I mean, even if he

is. The hottest guy on the planet.

She said that? Oh, yeah. She went off... You know what? That might have been on

TV.

I don't remember.

Perfect.

How the glass?

Only hurts if you step on it, my friend.

Good morning, darling one.

Good morning.

You got home late last night.

I thought you said you were helping him with his homework.

It was homework.

Oh, really? And the skating rink?

That's a date.

It wasn't a date.

Look, this is very hard for me, all right?

You've never had to deal with a real man in your life before.

I don't want to talk about this right now.

Fine.

Well, next time you need me, I might just be otherwise engaged.

Hey.

Oh, hey, how are you?

Got a ticket to see Bray tonight at the Underground.

Tell him to ask.

Thanks. I can't go.

Really? I thought we agreed on studying tonight.

Yeah, I know we did. I just, you know, I kind of promised I would do something.

All right.

Cool. Then I'll just see you at class.

Okay.

What's up, Ben?

Wow. You look like crap.

Oh, thanks.

I was working all night sorting books.

Hey, is Abby home?

Uh -uh.

Let me ask you something.

Tell me about Cy.

What? You know, what's he like? What's he look like?

Oh, uh... Well, Si is... at least kind of hard to describe.

Well, he's here all the time, isn't he?

Well, he works a lot.

Really? What does he do?

Oh, he's, uh... Well, he, uh... Come on, it can't be that hard.

Well, it's just that I... Yeah?

Well, I don't want to make you feel bad or anything.

Why would his work make me feel bad?

Well, because... Because...

He's a lawyer.

That's impressive.

What kind of lawyer is he?

Oh,

hi.

How'd you do on your test?

I think I did okay.

That's good.

Hey, how come you didn't tell me Si was a lawyer?

Oh, um, I didn't. Yeah, Jess told me.

I could call him, ask him some advice about internships and stuff like that.

Yeah, that would be great. Great. What's his number?

You know, he's working on a big case right now. Really? What kind of case?

He works for the government, so it's sort of... I understand.

Well, maybe you could call me.

You know what I think?

Huh? I think you need a break.

I don't think so. I think you do, and I think you deserve it. No, I'm good.

Is it okay to leave our stuff here?

Yeah, just put it here.

Give me your hand.

Why do you need the flashlight?

Because it's going to get dark.

It is?

Yeah.

Hey, what is this place?

Oh, it's...

Flashlight.

His flashlight's not working.

Oh, my God!

Don't leave me in the dark. You're a bad monkey.

It's a new dinosaur museum.

The university's opening up next month.

Are we supposed to be in here?

No big deal.

Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea.

My man, Big Al, cured a guy here.

He says as long as we don't touch anything, we're cool.

Wow. This place is just... It's so amazing.

I told you.

Pretty cool, huh?

Yes.

Something I could drink?

Uh, yeah. There's soda in the cooler.

Thanks.

Ah!

What? Are you okay?

Hello, Donald. Oh, uh, yeah.

Um, um, do you know how much I love this soda?

Look at him. I wonder how many naive young women he's lured up here, huh?

Under the pretext of helping him with his homework.

No soda?

Um, yeah, no.

No soda.

Actually, I would never like to have soda ever again.

Okay. Uh, so... Sorry, this place is such a wreck, I wasn't really expecting

company. And I think the last girl we had here was Cal's mom.

Likely story.

Really? I mean, don't you just love the way the surrealists make our wild

imaginings come to life?

Neanderthal man, your thoughts?

Yeah.

Fascinating insight.

It's like they're speaking a foreign language we can understand, but you just

don't know how.

Where the hell did that come from?

That is beautiful.

Thanks for walking me home.

No, it's nothing.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Huh? You know, anytime Cy's out of town, you need a walker homer.

I'm your guy.

I'm not out of town, right? I'm very much in town. I'll let you know.

You know, I was just...

I was wondering, I mean, I'm sure that you've already got plans. You know about

Thanksgiving, but if you don't... Actually, it's beer and bacon sandwiches

cow. Abby, please, do not invite him to Thanksgiving.

Would you like to come to Thanksgiving with me at my parents' house?

You sure you want me to come?

Yeah, I'm really sure.

What about Cy?

What about me?

You know, he's English.

They don't really do Thanksgiving.

So you invited him to go to your parents? Well, yeah.

I don't know what got into me.

Whatever it is, I think it's good.

Yes, I need you.

Can't you see I'm having my coffee break?

Yeah, yeah, it's just that Thanksgiving's tomorrow and we're only

through. Are you harassing me because of our prior relationship?

No, no, but... Do we need to call corporate?

I don't know.

No, that's fine. No, you...

Go ahead and just let me know when you're back.

That's fun. So how are things going between you and Quinn?

They're going fine, thanks.

Well, that's decisively indecisive.

He's kind of cute.

You haven't told him about Psy, have you?

I was going to, but I... Maybe it's time you let Psy go.

No,

it's not really easy.

Well, sure it is. No, it's not.

Well, Jess, look at you. No offense, but every relationship you get into seems

to be dysfunctional. Abby, having an imaginary boyfriend is textbook

dysfunctionality. Okay.

I mean, it's like those paintings you do of him. They're perfect, but you need

to paint somebody that's real.

Somebody that moves and, you know, breathes.

Hey, that's my face that you're ripping up. No, it's hopeless.

It's my work. It's dead.

It's like... No, it is not. Look, you cannot listen to that bookstore clerk.

What did I tell you about real people? No, what if she's right? What if I

be painting real people? What, you mean like Quinn?

Because I'm so boring and lifeless and he's so full of mum and vigor?

I didn't say that. Look, let me tell you something.

You know, I am pretty bored of this whole soppy, sweet, sexually non

-threatening persona that you've given me.

Oh, oh my darling.

Nothing for you.

I think I do pretty well with the material that you've given me. Yes,

exactly the problem.

I give you everything.

Maybe I need somebody who gives me... Say no more. It's fine.

I'll just go and see my friends, my other friends, who don't think that I'm

lifeless and boring. What other friends? You're imaginary. Do you really think

that you're the only one who dreams me up?

There are thousands of lonely women just like you. Granted, they may not all be

as attractive as you, but, you know, Millie from Minnesota is really quite

charming, if you can get past her accent.

Millie. From Minnesota.

So I hope that you have a spectacular painting session with your Neanderthal

boyfriend. Thank you.

Oh, and by the way, I hate romantic comedies.

That should be fun. You, her, and the lawyer.

He's not going.

Oh. Well, hey, man, that's great for you. You know, I can make your move.

Come on, Cal. You know I'm not that guy.

Besides, we're just friends.

You know what? Everything starts as just friends. And then the next thing you

know, oh!

I think I'll take Abby.

I like her more than swine, Cal.

Love, man.

Later, bro.

Hey.

Hey, you know, if you leave me, I just kind of look silly.

All right.

Here we go.

Oh, thanks.

These are for you.

I mean, if that's okay.

Great. Thanks. I've never been given flowers before.

Thank you. Really?

You know, from anyone besides Si.

Of course, Si.

Those are more like, you know, hey, happy Thanksgiving flowers.

I want

you to think of this as a new experience.

Which house is yours?

Trust me, you'll know.

Your parents really got into this, huh?

Yeah. You should have seen it during the garlic festival.

The what?

Oh.

I'll tell you later.

You're in your own doorbell?

Frankenstein suit.

You had it? Yeah.

Great. Well, come on. I have some pilgrim punch for you. Okay.

You know, I make a mean gobbler cobbler.

Look out, a turkey coming through.

Watch my tail.

I'll just take some of this.

George, if you do that again, I am going to have Quentin tie you to the table

and baste you for dinner.

Besides, I think a turkey eating turkey is...

Yeah, we used to travel all over the place.

There's no pictures of Abby.

Well, she was usually taking the pictures.

That's when we went to the Grand Canyon.

Abby, where were we at the Grand Canyon?

I've never been to the Grand Canyon.

Oh, yeah.

We usually left her with her Aunt Edna.

Hey, that reminds me of a joke.

Oh, Quinn, come on.

Why did the police arrest the turkey? We're back.

Where are you going? We're going to eat now.

I expected a foul play.

Don't bother.

That's a funny joke, sweetie.

Sorry about wrecking you out of there.

You know, dad jokes are not really funny.

So, anyways, this is kind of the place that I went to when, you know, parents

were parents.

I hear you.

My dad's a shrink. Really? Yeah.

Psychoanalyzes everyone.

Cal actually hasn't been to the house in some time.

That makes sense.

Yeah, obvious reason.

You swing?

I swing, yes.

I remember them being so much larger.

Kind of scary growing up, isn't it?

Yeah, it is, huh?

So, uh, is this where you and Mr. Wonderful hang out?

Jealous?

No, I'm jealous.

Someone's jealous.

I love these things. I hate them. They make me nauseous. Are you kidding me?

They're the worst. They're awful.

Come on.

Real quick, for me. No.

30 seconds. Give me 30 seconds. No. No, I don't want to.

30 seconds and you're free.

Okay? Okay.

But go slow.

Slow. I'm not even going to start yet. You're going too fast. No, I'm going to

stop. No, please don't. Just a little bit. I'm getting dizzy. Just a little

I'm going to throw up.

It's not that bad.

It's okay. You're safe.

Just hold on.

Well,

I just about got the bleeding stopped.

This is really embarrassing.

I'm sorry.

Oh, don't worry about it, Quinn. I was a field medic in NAM. I've seen worse

than this. Oh, Dad, Dad, it's okay.

I don't think he's doing any of your services.

You know, when I was a kid on the playground, never scratched.

Now look at me.

Well, Abby used to come home every other day with a bumper bruise. She always

blamed it on Cy. Mom, you don't have to talk about that. It's okay.

What about Cy? He ever get hurt?

Mom, there's those buns, right?

And you don't want them to burn, do you? Cy never got hurt.

Yeah, yeah.

I saw something.

What? There's a fire!

kitchen. Oh, there's nothing burning.

You're imagining things.

No, I'm not imagining things.

You imagine things all the time.

Well, what about Rye, her perfect imaginary friend?

At what age did you finally give him up?

Oh, honey, honey, look, the meat. The meat is frozen to his head now.

Careful.

I have been trying to tell you. Really?

Will you please just let me... Explain?

Explain that you lied to me?

That you blew me off for somebody who doesn't even exist?

I felt guilty having feelings for you. And it's all because you made me believe

you had a boyfriend.

I didn't make him up because of you. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Please, tell me.

I didn't have parents that understood that raising me was a job.

I just kind of felt like this accessory.

And I don't know if you've ever really felt loneliness before.

You know, but I have.

You know, the side that you keep hearing about is just the place that I went to

that made it easier.

I don't know what to say

Somehow I got myself wow.

Hey, buddy. Little help, baby. Come on, man. The blood's rushing to my head. I'm

starting to feel woozy.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, it's dying.

You're going to get over him, and I'm going to be here to help you.

You should have thought I'm for a real guy before.

You never felt real pain.

But I'm not sure I felt real love either.

Did you find everything okay? Yeah, I love the new setup.

Oh, wonderful.

Happy holidays. Thank you.

There are two people from corporate here, and they're looking for me.

They look mad.

Ryan, I think you should know something. What?

Excuse me, miss.

Well, those two guys from corporate...

They weren't from corporate. They weren't?

It was my cousin and his roommate.

Your cousin works for corporate?

Hello?

No.

My cousin did it to get my job back.

Look, it's registered.

It's for you.

Are you Ryan Sanders?

Yeah,

I'm Ryan Sanders.

We've been getting some calls on some changes you've been making in your

I can explain. Very impressive.

Most of this is her fault.

You like it?

Yes. You really like it? Like it. We love it.

Love it.

We... Ryan and I came up with it together.

If that's the case, you both should be commended. Our company needs more self

-motivated employees like the two of you. We'll be keeping our eyes on you,

since we'll be needing a new regional manager before too long. Of course,

if your lovely assistant is willing to become manager here.

You know, you could be taking all the credit for yourself.

Why didn't you? Because we did it, Ryan.

As a team.

Yeah? Yeah, I guess we did, huh?

You know, there's a nice way to handle the books, and that wasn't it.

You're funny.

You're a funny girl, really.

I have mixed emotions with your results.

Some of you, I was pleasantly surprised.

Others, disappointed.

Most of you performed exactly as I'd expected.

Oh. Hey, Quinn.

Quinn, what'd you do on the test?

Oh, wow.

That's really great.

We both kept up prior to the deal.

Yeah, so when do you want to start studying for the final?

I think I'll be better on my own.

What are you doing?

Changing.

To what?

I don't know yet.

Oh, isn't it looking a little tired, too?

It's got dirt on it.

I sure wish Abby'd come with us sometime.

Or she could bring that friend of hers, Quinn.

Wouldn't that be fun?

Oh, I sure do like him.

He seems like a nice fellow.

Tall, too.

Well, I guess this means things can get back to normal.

Our relationship isn't normal, Cy.

You can't help me.

I can't be hurt.

You know, the thing is... The

thing is... The thing is that it's time

for me to say goodbye.

I can't imagine my life without you.

That's what happens.

Girls grow up and then they leave their imaginary boyfriends.

I'm sorry that I... that I clung on so hard.

I just couldn't bear to see you suffer.

I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you too.

Good luck with Quinn.

He's going to come back to you.

I know. Just don't be too hard on him if he doesn't want to go to lots of

romantic movies.

Most guys, they don't like that stuff.

Thank you.

Sweetie, I'm so glad you came.

Hi. So much better with you here.

Well, it's time to try something new.

Hey, is everybody ready?

Yeah.

Ready.

Oh.

Honey,

it's not too impressive.

Oh, it's terrific.

Just wait until tonight. It's going to look wonderful.

You sure I'm not adopted?

Oh, I love you too, dear.

Should we tell her about her headstone?

Oh dear, let's save that for Christmas Day.

It could be fun.

Thanks, bud.

I don't think so, Sam.

Hey, call me if you change your mind.

Bye.

Cook you.

I'll bake you.

it is. Cal, what are you doing? Hey, what's going on? No, that's my cousin

Jasper right here, and this is my stepmother's half -brother's son,

What's up?

How's it going?

We're just hanging out here getting our music down because we're going to record

an album.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Crazy Pups.

We're awesome.

Dude,

it's both freezing out here. Yeah, you know what? I actually think the cold

helps our musical ability.

So, huh?

How's the old dating game going?

Man, it's like a bad reality show.

That good, huh?

No, Cal, that's bad.

Bro, is there ever a time when eight out of ten voices in your head agree on one

thing?

You know, I don't know. I've never asked them.

But I do know that they want to know why you walked away from Abby. Why you

walked away from Abby. Why did you walk away from Abby?

Make it Abby.

I gotta go. He's fragile and like a girl. Work with that. He don't take my

sandwich because that's what I like to eat.

That's a little rude.

We had issues.

Come on, man. You're the one who's got issues with commitment.

And take it from somebody who's been committed. You gotta let love take care

itself.

That makes about as much sense as a kamikaze pilot wearing a helmet.

Hey, just because somebody's a practicing kamikaze does not mean they

be safe.

Kamikaze pilots committed suicide, Cal.

Yeah, they understood commitment.

You don't understand.

Her boyfriend, she made him up.

He doesn't exist. He's imaginary. So?

When I was growing up, I was a kid next door's imaginary friend.

Not funny.

Yeah. It wasn't for me either.

I think it's because I'm imagining her at the bathroom.

It's like the worst month of my life.

Cal, please, just two seconds, man.

There's no such thing as the perfect woman, bro.

She just doesn't exist.

The only thing I know is that since you met her, you're the happiest I've ever

seen you.

I'm not happy right now.

Well, maybe that's because you're sitting here talking to the wrong

Jess,

do you know where I could find Abby?

She's not here.

Do you know where she is?

No, and I don't think she's up to seeing you.

Because of Si?

Because of you.

Me?

You were the first real guy she's ever loved.

At the first sign of trouble, what did you do?

Jess, please, I just want to find her. Excuse me, I was wondering if you could

help me find a book on the mating rituals of the African dung beetle.

I know exactly where that book is.

Okay, well, I'm going to get going. Just let me know if you see her.

Thank you.

Abdul.

Oh, no. Actually, it's Jeff.

That's pretty, too.

And your name?

David.

David.

David. I like that name.

I saw a face in the cloud before the rain.

It felt good to see you again.

Then it all washed away.

I can't explain how I miss you.

If I'd only known how much this would hurt.

How I would be craving to be in your world.

Now I know.

I'll never let you go.

Sorry, I was panning.

I wanted to paint something real.

What are those for?

Good for you.

That is, if, uh, that guy doesn't have a problem with it.

He's gone.

You know I'm not perfect.

I'm not looking for perfect anymore.

Thank you.

That was huge.