Original subtitles

Yeah. You like it? Deeper.

Yeah.

You like it? Deeper.

Jack, come on.

Jack, he's coming.

He must be the new gardener.

Looks pretty good.

Here's a buck.

See you next week.

Honey!

Honey, I'm home!

Can't hear you.

Watch,

watch. He's coming, Jack, he's coming.

Oh, shit.

Honey,

I'm home.

Come on, Jack, come on.

Come on.

Hey,

here's my clothes.

By the way, what's your name?

Hey, you drive, please.

You better get something to eat, huh?

It's all a game with women.

They just love playing games. It doesn't matter what kind of a game it is. They

just love playing.

Is that good?

Yeah.

Watch your mouth.

There.

That's better.

Where was I?

Wait a minute. You said it's all a game with women.

Right.

You know, if I could find a woman who didn't play games, who was honest, who

right, if I could find that kind of woman, I'd give all this up tomorrow and

live on a farm somewhere. I mean, who needs the aggravation? You know what I'm

saying? Give all one up, Jack. All this. I mean... You know what I mean.

Would you take me with you?

Where? On the farm.

Sure. Come on, drink your coffee. Let's go.

Jack? What?

Would you really take me with you?

Hey, where I go, you go.

Nice here. I like it at the park.

Come on, let's fight.

Come on.

Let's fight. Come on.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

You always want bots. I want to fight you. Come on.

You want to fight?

Put them up. Put them up.

Come on.

I'm going to get you.

I'm going to get you. Here it comes. Here it comes. Ready for the big one?

Ready?

Get fun just today.

Fun? Yeah. Are you kidding? That guy's going to bash me in the head with a

baseball bat. Hey, why? I fucked her. You didn't. I know.

Ten minutes later, you'd have been fucking in. You had nothing to worry

right? Yeah.

Yeah, I tell you, man.

She's a perfect example of what I was saying, man.

Women, I'm telling you, women are full of shit.

They're always playing games. She knew her husband was coming home. Yeah?

Yeah. That's crazy.

No, I'm telling you. She knew he was coming home. She probably does that

day.

Raise it to the tree. Who says go? Me.

You know the trouble with people today?

Nobody's honest anymore.

You know anybody that's honest?

No. Because there ain't nobody.

I'll tell you a story.

When I was in third grade, standing in line for lunch or something, and I cut

front of this girl, Celeste Scalini was her name.

She was real pretty. She used to sit right across from me.

Anyway, I cut in front of her, right?

She turns around and looks at me and she says, You're an asshole.

Now, that's honest.

She called you an asshole?

Right. What'd you do?

I told her to shut the fuck up.

That's pretty good for third grade, huh?

I learned that from my old man.

But that's not the point. The point is, she was honest. She said what was on her

mind.

I should have been there, Lenny. It was great.

Yeah.

She was beautiful.

Celeste.

I wonder what she's doing now.

Maybe she's dead.

What are you trying to do, break my mood? No.

No.

I'm going to bite your ear off.

What's this?

Where are you going?

I'm going to kill her with fucking honesty, man.

Uh -huh.

Hey, Jack.

If you get her, I think I could, you know.

Fuck her? Yeah.

Sure. I'll do it first.

You're reading Cinderella.

And the handsome prince.

My name's Jack. What's yours?

Corinda.

Corinda. What a beautiful name.

What is that, Irish?

No, it's Maltesian.

Maltesian.

Corinda, can I be honest with you for a moment?

Sure.

You know, there's a serious problem with people today.

I don't know if you've noticed it or not, but nobody's honest about it.

I mean, there's no more sincerity left in the world. No more openness.

No more compassion.

No more understanding.

No more anything.

It's all gone.

Do you sense what I'm trying to say?

I think so.

You see, everybody is so concerned with making that damn buck.

that we lose our perspective of one another.

And human contact, if any, is virtually non -existent.

You see, everybody has a face.

I have a face for you, and you have a face for me.

And in the process of all these different faces, we lose perspective of

face.

And then we become distant.

Because we feel nobody likes us.

Then we become insensitive.

Because we lose trust for one another.

And then finally, finally, we become very lonely.

Because we feel nobody trusts us.

You want to fuck?

Where?

I wanna suck your cock.

Oh my god, let's go.

Oh.

You sure of that, Matt?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

What do you think you're doing, you dummy?

It'll be all right.

What's your problem? I don't got a problem. I don't got a problem. Get out

here. Leave him alone.

Here.

Hey, muscle face.

It's pretty cute what you did to that kid there. He's always starting trouble.

I want to tell you something.

What's your name, by the way?

Brad, Brad.

Where do you live?

Berkeley.

Clear?

Look, you come from Berkeley, you go back to Berkeley. You don't come here no

more. You understand?

You understand?

Yeah, yeah.

Look at yourself. You're a mess.

Look at your hair.

That's fair.

Now, I know you're a gentleman.

I want you to go over to my friend.

I apologize.

Go ahead.

Go ahead!

Hey, man, I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

I said I'm sorry, okay?

Are you all right?

Yeah, all right.

Sorry. Leave me alone.

You all right?

Yeah. Jack, I could have took him. He didn't have to come.

Hey, I know.

Next time.

What's more important is I want you to wait here, because I'm going to take a

little walk with this chick.

See you.

Jack, cry fucker.

Of course you can. What do you think I'm going for? What do you think I'm trying

to find out? I don't want to talk to her. Corinda, come here.

Corinda.

This is my best friend, Lenny.

Hi. Hi.

My best buddy.

Now, you wait here. We'll be right back.

Just going to go, you know, a little walk. Okay.

And don't get in any more trouble, all right?

I won't.

Why don't you watch where you're going?

Why don't you watch where you're going?

I don't want to. Okay.

I can do it. I can do it.

Here, let me help.

Okay.

You skate good.

Life's fucked.

Hey. That's what my friend Jack said.

Fuck like Moby Dick's penis.

Is he?

Well, that's what he said.

Hey, Lenny.

Jack! Come on.

Where you been?

Jack.

This is my friend Karen.

Karen, come on.

This is my friend Jack.

Yerk. Hi.

Nice to meet you, Karen.

You live around here?

Around.

Come to the park often?

She likes to skate.

Look, uh, we gotta go.

Nice meeting you, Karen. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on.

Where were you?

Corinda wanted to fuck you, man. I was looking all over for you. Corinda?

Yeah.

I worked on that to get you laid, man. And where the hell? I couldn't find you.

She had to go home.

Come on, come on.

Is that Karen?

Yeah, very nice.

Yeah,

I wish I could have found you, man. She was really ready.

In fact, I think she was harder for you than she was for me.

No. I mean, who's that anyway?

Just a girl.

Yeah, she had nice tits.

Jack, cut it out, okay?

What is she, your sister?

No, she's not my sister.

Well, calm down. She had nice tits. Get in.

You gonna see her again?

I don't know.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. She's just another chick, right?

I guess.

Don't say it. She's just another chick.

She's just another chick.

I don't know. We'll see you then.

She's just another fucking chick.

She's just a fucking chick.

Come on, more, more. She's just a fucking chick.

She's just a fucking chick.

Now again, she's just a fucking chick.

She's just a fucking chick. She's just a fucking chick.

She's just a fucking chick.

What are you doing here?

We're just waiting for you, Jack.

Oh, yeah? What do I owe you, money?

Shut up, creep.

Hey, watch your mouth.

What do you want?

Oh, Jack, I just want to spend some time with you. That's all.

Yeah? It's been so long.

Hey, Jack.

What? Come here.

She... Shit.

Jack, if... If you get her, you know...

Of course.

Come on, I don't have all night.

Hey, shut up already.

You want to fuck me?

Yeah.

So you miss me, huh?

More than you'll ever know.

Well, prove it.

Do you have to be here?

Hey, you fuck me, you gotta fuck Kim. You don't like it?

Get the fuck out.

I guess it's okay. I've never fucked a retard before.

That's it. Forget it, okay? Come on, Jack. I was kidding.

Oh, yeah?

Well, woman, you got a big mouth. Now get out of my sight.

Jack. What?

What?

Forget it, okay?

I didn't really want to fuck her anyway.

Anyway, are you kidding?

She's ready, man. She wants to fuck you.

No, you go ahead.

Hey, you sure?

Yeah.

Look, I'm telling you, she's really fucking ready. I mean, she likes to go

through this stuff. It turns her on. You make a little scene, you know. In fact,

look, hey, you can fuck her first.

Huh?

No, I'm tired.

I'm going to go to bed.

Hey, you sure?

Yeah.

Look, you know what we're going to do? Tomorrow we're going to go to the park.

I'm going to find that girl for you.

Okay. Okay?

Let me get some sleep.

Next time.

Get the shit out of here, you know.

Oh.

You don't look so good today. What's the matter?

I didn't sleep too good.

Yeah? Why?

Hey, I know what's bothering you.

Look, if that chick is here today, we're going to find her. You understand?

Yeah.

No, I don't see her. Do you?

No.

Probably gone.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

There'll be plenty of other chicks.

Yeah, for you there's plenty of other chicks, but I don't get that many

Jack. Hey, what's wrong with you? I said there'd be more girls, right? There'll

be more girls, right?

You know what I'm talking about. You've got to trust me.

I mean, I know about these...

Like

that over there.

Now that's what's happening.

Watch this.

You didn't have to do that.

Anyway, I saw you. No, you didn't.

Yes, I did.

No, you didn't. I sure did. Then how come you jumped a mile? Because I'm

ticklish. Yeah?

You're ticklish, all right. Can I walk with you?

Okay.

What do you got in the box?

A sweater.

You want to see it? Yeah.

Okay.

Wow, look at this. It's got a hood.

100 % triple arsenic.

That's my sweater.

Want to try it on?

Yeah.

God.

Wow, that looks nice.

Yeah.

It's not too tight.

Want to wear it for a while? Yeah.

You do?

You want to wear my baseball hat?

Okay.

Karen? Yeah?

Can I ask you a personal question?

It depends.

On what?

Well, I don't want to talk about, you know... I know?

Oh, I know.

No, no, no.

I don't want to talk about that either.

Well, then what do you want to talk about?

Well... I just wanted to talk about whether or

not you had a boyfriend.

Do you have a boyfriend?

Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe.

Yes or no?

Maybe. Maybe. Geez, women!

Geez, men!

I always wanted to be a baseball player.

Always.

Especially back in high school.

Back then, all the players got to wear these jackets with the letter.

Teachers would see the letter.

They let him take off early.

I always wanted to play.

It was really neat.

They all got to take off early.

I always wanted to play.

How come you never did?

I never got picked.

You live here?

It's a very nice building.

Firm.

All red brick.

It's your skate.

Oh! Sorry.

They give you back your sweater.

Thanks for letting me wear it a whole lot. It was a little lot of fun.

Yeah? Remember when you asked me if I had a boyfriend?

Yeah? Well, I do have a boyfriend.

You do?

I know you.

Who? You!

Me? You! Me!

Me! Me!

She likes me like a boyfriend!

She likes me like I got a girl!

Why don't you play the zoo, yeah?

Did you have a good time?

Yeah.

I had a real good time.

Jack?

Have you ever loved somebody?

No.

Have you ever wanted to love somebody?

No. Why not?

Because I'm not a sucker. That's the way I want it.

Why? You in love?

Yeah.

Shit. Yeah.

I'm in love.

Look, don't plan anything for Saturday night. We're going to a party, okay?

Okay.

Good night, Jack.

Good night.

Karen, let's do the swing and break. What is it? It's terrific.

Wow.

I can't do that.

Huh? I can't do that. Sure you can. Come on. No.

I'll catch you, okay?

Come on.

Okay, promise. Come on.

I'm scared. It's okay. Come on. Come on.

Don't shake it. Okay. Okay. Ready? Promise you won't shake it. Ready? Come

Let's go down the slide. Come on.

Whoa, wow.

Minnie?

Oh, my, that's fantastic.

You'll love it. You okay?

Put your hands up.

Oh, put your hands up and you come down.

Do it.

Come on. Come on.

Look, you put some dents in my car.

I know.

What are you going to do about it?

Well, uh, you see, this has been a very hard month for me.

I've had three rear -enders this month alone.

And I just couldn't tell my husband about this one.

You do understand, don't you?

Yeah, yeah, I can understand that.

Um, but what I'd like to do is, how would you say, settle this?

Out of court.

So I don't have any money on me right now.

But if you'd follow me to my house, I could pay you there.

Your place, huh?

Sure.

a piece of ass get your hands off me what i said get your hands off me what

you think i am some kind of a whore i don't need this i want to give you

something what are you a schizo or what

Stop, please.

Is that how you get off? Oh, yes. Please give me more.

No. Oh, please.

Come on, more.

No.

Yeah, but you have to finish.

What, are you going to arrest me?

Do you want to die?

What? My husband's sleeping in the next room.

I've taken care of husbands before.

Oh, but not like my husband.

He was an ex -Marine.

If he came out here right now, he'd...

Kill you.

It's time to fuck.

But I want you to tell me what you want me to do before I do it.

Hey, you don't understand me.

I want you to tell me what you want me to do before I do it.

Let me see your eyes.

Oh, yeah, you got nice eyes.

Take it in. Take it in. All right.

Take it out. Take it out.

Oh, that was close.

What did I say I wanted you to do?

I want you to fuck me.

That's not good enough.

I want you to put your cock in my pussy.

That's better.

You're a whore, aren't you?

Yes, I want it up in my pussy.

I want it deep in my...

How was that, darling?

That make you nice and hard?

Do you think it'd be okay if I came to your house to visit you?

Well, maybe, but my brother said that I shouldn't have anyone over unless he was

there.

Well, that'd be okay.

I mean, I could meet him.

And then it'd be okay for me to come over.

Okay, but are you going to bring Jack?

No.

He doesn't have to come. I can go by myself.

Okay, well, then I'll ask him.

Do it tonight.

Okay.

Lenny? You really want to come to my house?

Yeah.

Sure. That's nice.

You know, I never would have come up here if you hadn't... done this first.

You're a real good tree climber. Really?

Yeah. Better than skates, huh?

Yeah. It's brave.

I've climbed trees all my life since I was little.

Can we go down now?

I kind of like it up here. I'd really like to be up here with you.

Okay.

I think we go to the beach. We'll find a son. What do you say?

No, I can't today, Jack. I got a date.

You got another date with... Yeah.

Okay, I gotta go.

I'll see you later, Jack, okay?

Yeah, you've been seeing a lot of that girl, huh? Yeah.

Bye.

Look, have a good, you know...

Have a good time.

There's nothing to lose We'll try whatever we choose

Don't keep your feelings inside.

And as you give love, I'll send it back to you.

There's nothing to hide.

So stay right here by my side.

If you just trust me somehow, I'll prove my love is true.

Cause I've got nothing to hide and nothing to

lose.

And it's cold out there.

Hey, how come you're not ready? We're gonna be late.

I don't feel like going, Jack.

I'm gonna stay home tonight.

What?

I'm gonna stay home tonight.

What's the matter? You feel good?

I'm okay.

I just don't feel like going, that's all.

You sure?

Yeah.

I don't know.

There's a lot of broads here tonight.

A lot of action.

No, you go ahead.

Look, uh... All right, look.

If you need me for anything, I'll be at this number.

Okay. Give me a call.

You sure you're alright?

Yeah.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Okay.

God damn it, why?

You sure you're alright?

Yeah.

Lenny. Lenny?

Yeah, can I come in?

Lenny?

I don't know.

Because Lenny, my brother, said I can't have anyone, no guests or anything while

he's not here.

Karen, I'm not any guest.

I'm your boyfriend.

Karen?

Karen?

I don't know.

Come in.

Maybe for a minute. Only a minute.

I don't want to get in trouble.

Okay.

You can sit down if you want.

Do you want a cookie?

I made them today.

Good.

I know I ate a lot.

I could tell because the plate's almost empty.

Yeah. Will you marry me?

You're talking to me, Minnie?

There's nobody else here named Karen, is there?

No. Will you marry me?

Karen. Karen. Karen!

Karen!

Karen! Karen!

Karen! Karen!

You don't have to answer me now.

You can wait till your brother comes home.

Karen, will you marry me?

I knew you wouldn't. I knew it!

Lenny?

Will marry you you will

Me too.

We can do it, though.

Yeah?

You want to see something?

Sure.

Horses. Aren't they beautiful?

Uh -huh.

Could we buy some horses after we get married?

Okay, I'll get a job.

Okay. We can have a house, and later we can have a big family.

Like the Waltons.

Thank you again.

Yeah, but can we turn the lights off?

Yeah.

Ow.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I hit my knee.

Silly.

Oh, my God.

What are you doing?

What do you think?

Put

your

rope.

Well,

maybe you should turn the lights on.

Okay.

You okay?

Cut. Okay.

Can we turn the lights off?

Watch out for the table!

Oh,

you make me very happy.

You know what made me really happy?

What? When you ran off the train.

Why? You were so good to watch.

Yeah.

What? Oh, I don't want to never lose it. I brought something.

Here.

See?

Oh, is that a rubber?

How'd you know?

I saw one in my brother's drawer once.

Does it work?

It's supposed to.

You want to put it on?

Okay.

Put it. Put it on that way.

And you roll it down.

I never did this before.

I didn't either.

I think this is right.

See, and the stuff comes right inside here.

The stuff that comes out of a boy, you know.

Wow.

That's it.

It's like wearing a glove on your penis.

You don't have a penis. I don't like that word.

You don't have a penis.

Yeah.

Would you put me inside you?

Put me in you, okay?

Okay. Oh, Karen.

Okay.

Like that?

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh. Ow.

Are you okay? Just a little bit.

It's good, too. Good.

Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

I'm in you.

I know.

Oh. Oh.

Oh, kiss me. Oh.

class.

I don't care. I don't care.

Where you been?

Out. Where out?

Well... You know, today I thought we'd go to a hotel, hang around, catch some

those rich bitches coming out. What do you think?

I'm gonna marry her, Jack.

At least wait till we get there. You haven't met anybody yet.

I'm gonna marry Karen, Jack.

Karen who?

My girlfriend.

You forget her already?

Your girlfriend?

That's right, my girlfriend.

I'm gonna marry her. What, are you crazy?

No. I'm not crazy.

Well, get your coat.

We'll talk about it later.

No. I want to talk about it now.

I love her.

Well, I love Miss Fernstein, the landlord, too. That doesn't mean I'm

marry her, does it?

Well, does it?

It's not the same thing, Jack, and you know it.

Look.

Listen to me.

What?

You met this girl, right?

Yeah.

And you like this girl.

Well, that's good.

Like, tomorrow you're going to meet another girl.

Next week you're going to meet another girl. And this, um... Karen!

Karen is just going to become a memory to you.

You've got to trust me.

No, Jack, you're wrong.

I love her.

Fuck love, man. What are you, a sucker?

No.

I'm not a sucker.

Look, you marry this girl, what are you going to do? What are you going to do

for money?

For money? Yeah, yeah.

Don't get a job.

Doing what?

Doing what?

Come on, get your coat. We'll talk about it later.

No! You don't understand!

Look, you don't understand, dummy!

Uh -oh.

You're just saying that because you're jealous! You're jealous because you

got a real...

Hey, make the American gigolo himself.

How's things going, Mr. Valentino?

Here, have a cup of coffee. One cup of coffee for the American gigolo coming

right up. Yes, sir.

Give me one cup of coffee for this big gentleman.

Pour it right into the cup here.

And one cup of java for Mr. Valentino. Here you are, sir. A little cream.

That'll be 40 cents.

Put it on like that.

Tab? What tab?

Oh, I know. You mean the tab that expired three months ago.

From now on, pal, we deal strictly in cash, okay?

Keep the change.

Keep the change.

Oh, my goodness. Are you sure? One cool dime.

Does this mean you'll have to go without Twinkies for lunch?

Where's your rubber buddy?

You know, the space cadet.

Don't tell me I know.

He's staying for an extra showing of Bambi at the beach, right?

Wrong. Practicing for a wedding.

Who?

Ed.

Ed.

Hey, uh, watch the store, will you? I'll be right back.

Yeah, I'm on my break.

So watch it anyway, you dippy broad.

Oh, yeah?

Shut up your ass with a stool, Herbie.

On his wedding, what's it all about?

Ah, this girl he's been seeing for a couple of months.

How come you're not there?

I don't know.

You see, he met this girl.

It's unbelievable.

She's just like him. She walks like him. She talks like him.

It's unbelievable.

I mean, what are they going to do? Where are they going to go? Neither of them

have any family.

And he couldn't just date her, right?

He had to marry the broad.

You know, I think I know what your problem is.

Okay, Dr. Joyce Brothers, what's my problem?

It's the kid.

Sure, it's the kid. You're afraid of losing him.

Cut the crap.

No, no, no.

You don't fool me.

You don't want to stop being a mother and a father, right?

I don't want to stop being nice to you.

So cut the crap, all right?

Now you're going to lose him.

Now you're full of shit.

What? I said you're full of shit.

All right.

All right, maybe, maybe I am full of shit. Yeah, maybe. Just maybe.

But from where I'm standing, I'm telling you that kids leave all the time and

mothers and fathers are left alone.

Now you just think about that, right?

Jack, what I'm really trying to say is that

Lenny's just like any other kid.

Except he just took a little longer to grow up, that's all.

Oh, a little bit of perfect. He's at it again.

I gotta go. Hey, do you think about it?

Just think about it.

See ya.

Last month and the month before that.

Want to get the bus? You bet.

Where are we going?

You got work to do?

No. Call the bus. Get in.

This place looks the same as it did a year ago.

You're a slob.

Oh, Jack.

What? Let's see, I'm so lost.

Hey, relax, would you? Oh, I can't.

So you want to fuck me, right? Oh, yeah.

We'll do it.

Oh, so quick.

Quick. Boy, you got to do something about it.

Well... Let's go in there and let me look at you.

I'll tell you the truth. I'm not turned on you whatsoever.

Oh, come on, Jack. You don't mean that. Yes, I do mean it. Do something.

Excite me, please.

You always like my tits.

Why don't I take my sweater off?

Yeah?

It's all right.

Squeeze them.

That's good.

Oh, Jack.

But don't take your bra off.

Me? Turn around. Come on.

Bend over. That's good.

Bend over. You gotta do better than that, baby.

How bad do you want to fuck me? How bad do you want to fuck me?

Get your hands off me.

Let me see. Take your pants off.

There.

Slow.

I want to hear that zipper.

Oh, Jack.

Squirm around a little bit.

Don't tease me.

Why don't you get on the couch?

Let me hear you squeak a little bit.

Oh, Jack.

Lay back. Squirm around. Turn me on. Do something to me.

Fuck me, come on.

Hey, relax.

Come on, you've got to do better than that.

Squeeze those nipples. Squeeze them.

Oh, yeah.

You want to take your bra off?

Here, go ahead.

Jack, you always liked my tits.

They are big.

Very big.

Jack, don't pee in there.

Maybe you want to... Why don't you blow me? I want to suck your cock, Jack. No,

no, no.

Yeah, come on and blow me.

Blow me.

I want to blow you.

Want to blow me?

What was that?

My gum.

I missed you, Jack.

You

want

to marry me? Oh, Jack. Oh, yes.

You want to marry me? Oh, yes. I wouldn't marry you if you were the last

on earth. Oh, Jack.

You're a sucker, you know that?

You're the sucker.

You're the sucker. Tell me you're a sucker. I'm a sucker.

Why?

Because you want to marry me? Oh, Jack, I love your car. Tell me you're a

sucker.

Tell me you're a sucker because you want to marry me.

A sucker because I want to marry you.

Take this off. Take this off.

Oh, yeah.

Fuck your tits, huh? My tits? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

You're not going to come in my face, are you? Of course not.

Just drunk at night.

Look at it. I want you to look at the head of the cock.

Look at it.

Look at it.

That's how you just rub it.

Jack. Yeah.

You never come in my face.

This is the fourth time I caught you sneaking on this boat. And that's the

time. This time I'm going to put you away. Get that? I'm going to put you

Next time I'm going to... Hey, who are you? Go away.

What are you doing to the kid?

Look,

I'm security here.

Get out of here. Goodbye. He snuck on the boat, and they don't get to do that

this boat. I thought he committed murder or something. On this boat, it's

murder. Go away, okay? I'll tell you what. How much is the fare? It cost a

to come on here, and he walked in without it. Here's the buck.

All right. You know this guy. You keep him. You watch him, okay?

I'm going to remember your face. Just remember that.

Everything's okay.

Everything all right, kid?

Good.

Hello.

My name is Jack.

Very attractive woman. Where do you work in the city?

Anywhere you want to go.

Is everything okay?

Please, excuse me.

Once you have something to do, can't you see I'm talking to somebody? You're

cutting into my action. Please, please.

And I'll see what happens now that the bar's gone.

Then we'll see what you did.

What? Around the corner? Around the... Around what?

Well, I'm looking for a new place now.

Looking for a place?

You don't live anywhere now, huh?

Look, okay. Look, I got a place.

It's small, but look, you can stay there a couple of days.

Just a couple of days because I, you know, I got a lot of action. You

what I mean? I don't want you cutting in on it. All I have is a sleeping bag.

You can stay there.

Okay. I'll leave whenever you say, Jack. Jack's your name, right?

Yeah. I won't make any messes, and I won't come between you and any ladies. I

promise. I never...

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

I knew you'd be here.

I knew you'd come.

Hey, what are you crazy? You think I'd miss my best friend's wedding, huh?

You weren't going to get someone else to stand up for you, were you? No.

No, no.

Groan, groan. Hurry.

Groan, groan.

Hurry. We have a schedule to keep.

Come, come, come. Quick, quick. Pep.

I want to see lots of Pep. You're the groom.

Now, when I ring the bell, like this, I want you both to watch the bride walk

down the aisle, like this.

This is the moment.

The moment.

Stand. Good.

Who are you?

This is my best man. This is Jack.

Oh, well, I want you at all times to remain close to the groom. Close, close.

The photographer just does not like to move around very much.

We had a bar mitzvah here last week. She tripped over a chair. I mean, he's

giving me so much trouble.

Anyway, I want you to stay close, close to the groom.

Now, I want emotions.

I want feelings.

We're not going to do this again, right?

Good, good, good. Close, close.

You look beautiful.

Thank you. She really looks beautiful.

Look, I'm going to take care of him, you know what I mean? I will.

I don't know what to say, but I want both of you to have just

a wonderful life.

Little babies.

Hey, you know, let me call once in a while.

For you, loving is running from woman to

woman. For me, I want to live

with the woman I'm loving.

You love the excitement.

Of different ladies under your spell.

I love the feeling of coming home to a lady that loves me so

well. We've got nothing to hide.

I'm loving her my way. Nothing to

hide. No reason to run.

We've got nothing to hide.

I'm loving her my way. Nothing to hide.