Original subtitles

Take some notes here, son. I'm falling about like the devil's bomb. I'm a

stranger bomb in the middle of the gate in a strange hotel.

And let me tell you that man with a switch coat, and he'll take you

Last seen in the corner street. He's an animal, and I'm a bag of blood.

Fans just got put in a couple of months ago, so yeah, they're nice and new.

This is the kitchen. We've got...

The coffee machine, the dishwasher, which is a little temperamental. You

give it a kick when you want it to work.

Oh, we don't have a landline, but we've got Wi -Fi.

Oh, that's fine. Oh, great. Yeah, it's good.

I guess that's it.

Yeah, I love it.

Oh, good.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

I love the area.

Do you have any other questions?

No, I guess, well, how much?

Of course, yeah.

It's $1 ,800 a month with a locked bathroom door or $400 a month with the

bathroom door open.

Bathroom door open?

So you'd just use the bathroom as per normal, showers, brushing your teeth,

going to the toilet, all that stuff.

But the bathroom door would be open.

Oh. Oh.

So, sorry, so why would the...

Why? Because it's $400 a month.

I'm so sorry. I thought I was making that clear.

No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. You did say that. Yeah, it's probably

confusing. No, no, no.

It's fine. I just never heard.

I just have rules. It's just my rule.

Oh, okay.

I don't know if I like the sound of the classroom door being open.

Well, you can always do the $1 ,800 a month, and then you can...

Close, lock the bathroom door as much as you want.

Yeah, I can't really afford $1 ,800 a month, though. That's the only... Why am

going to have to option at the moment?

I'm afraid I'm going to do something un -ladylike.

Man, I'm starting to get worried about you.

Mate, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it. It took so long.

Okay, the taxi drivers are like, Oh, me so sorry.

Oh, me take a long road.

I didn't drive, was he?

Yeah, he's all like, oh, my GPS are not working. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Mate, that's a bit racist.

What? It's not cool, man.

I've got an Asian girlfriend.

I'm half Asian, actually.

Yeah, halfie. Still counts.

You're leaning on a little bit thick for a halfie.

Dude, you do famine jokes in front of Tandy all the time. It's totally

different. Tandy's like 100 % Tanzanian.

And she's really skinny.

And she's certainly not a halfie.

Oh, so I'm not Asian enough, is that it? Babe, you are plenty Asian. Asian -y.

Just because you're dating women from other cultures doesn't give you the

to make racist jokes. I don't do racist jokes. I do the family jokes. No, no. If

you want to criticise and mock people, take a look at yourselves, OK?

Hey, if you had flour to this mop, what do you get?

Carrot cake. Oh, come on. What?

Are you serious?

You're a strawberry blonde and you're doing full -blown redhead jokes.

How do you think they feel?

I didn't know that. I told them, I said, that's it. And if that's it, that's it.

That's it.

Hey, do you know Christopher Westbrook?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Because you guys... We played tennis together. Yes.

He's not bad. Sometimes he gets lucky. Yes. What's your point?

No, I was just going to bring up my very poor tennis record against Christopher

Westbrook. Is that it?

No. No?

No. That's not the case?

No. Oh, okay. Because I've got a really bad shoulder, all right? A bad rotator

cuff. And he knows that, and he's got a very strange life.

So that's all there is to it. You guys are talking about Christopher Westbrook.

And how he beats me at tennis all the time.

Yes, it's national news now, is it? Well, listen, a lot of those sets were

close, actually. And if a couple of line ball calls had gone my way, I could

actually have beaten him. Relax.

No, I'm not going to relax.

I'm not going to relax.

Because these are for you to judge. But you don't know how hard I've worked on

my game. I've completely overhauled my serve. I've thrown it away and started

from nothing.

Okay? And I know that when I come back, I will beat him. So just shut up about

it. Just... I was going to say

that Christopher Westbrook's wife died.

Brain aneurysm.

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Violence against homosexuals is never acceptable.

And that's why I'm opposed to gays in the military.

Obviously, I'm nervous about the P's in the account because of George's stuff.

Sorry I'm late.

Come on in.

Everyone, this is our new accounts manager.

So let's give a big, hearty welcome to Lucas. Hi.

Thank you. Alexis, come on in, mate. Find yourself a place at the table.

OK, let's move on to Wendy, the Hayman account. How are you going with that?

Not good. So we've actually suspended further work until we can get it sorted

out. Bloody hell.

That is terrible. I'm going to have to call Neil on that. All right, well,

move on to the Dawson account.

Yeah, Ken and I were having a look at the Dawson account. It actually seems

pretty squared away.

What I might do is I'm going to get every one of you to individually...

These are our accounts that we're discussing right now. I'd love to see

management as soon as possible on what all of your accounts are. Five.

We're up to eight. All right, then. I think that just about wraps it up. We'll

reconvene on Thursday.

Hey, Lucy.

Hi.

Aaron? Hi. How are you? I'm good, but...

You look great, like really, really great.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

You've lost so much weight.

Yeah, yeah, I guess I've lost a little bit of weight, yeah. A little bit? I

don't think I recognised you.

Oh, my God, so how did you do it? Was it a grapefruit diet or the liver cleanse?

What?

Trauma.

Trauma?

Stephen left me and then I lost the house and my parents both died in a

I saw my dog Millie get hit by a truck right in front of me. Then I lost my job

and lost my appetite.

Oh, my God.

Well, it's working for you. You look incredible.

Thanks. Yeah, sometimes I wonder, I'm like, you know, would it be better if my

parents were still alive? Yeah, but you're thin.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, it was worth it, definitely.

It was nice to see you.

Take care.

Bitch.

Another copy?

Oh, I'm sorry, but I'm married.

I'll take that away.

Really, I'm flattered, but I think I've been pretty clear.

Thank you.

Aliens have made contact with it. They'll be arriving in three days' time.

very quickly now, everybody clean up the environment and hide the science

fiction.

Thanks.

Did you order a chair earlier this week?

Yes, from Doris.

Yeah, I just need it for my desk.

My back's really sore.

It's just that money's pretty tight at the moment and I'm only cleared to

authorise essential expenses.

Yeah, this is pretty essential.

I mean, I need it to do my work, so... It's just a death chair.

It's just that no -one else has ordered a chair.

Well, no, obviously.

What do you mean, obviously?

Why are you so special that you need your own chair?

Well, I'm not, but... Everyone

already is sitting down.

Are you trying to be funny? No, I'm just saying, everyone who works in this

office is in a wheelchair.

Really? I hadn't noticed.

Really? You hadn't noticed?

No.

I don't see disability. I see people.

Unlike some.

That's not what I...

And at 0800, once all enemy combatants have been neutralised, we'll be

back to base.

Any questions?

Yes, sir. Sorry, just one question.

When we run out of ammo, where do we resupply?

There'll be no resupply of ammunition private, so be sure to pack lightly to

maximise the amount of ammunition you can carry. What I mean is, where are the

points that the ammunition is stored? Is it like a cave or a floating arrow, or

do we look for a box with a question mark?

No, you'll be armed only with what you've been issued.

Oh, wow, right.

Okay, so how many lives do we have?

Well, obviously we'd prefer if you detained the insurgents.

But if you need to take a life, so be it.

There's no limit on kills.

Sorry, sir, what I actually mean is how many lives do we have, like three or

four? Well, you have one life, private.

Obviously you have one life, and of course the lives of your fellow soldiers

whom you're duty -bound to protect.

Right, so where do we respawn?

Respawn? Yeah, once we get killed, do we respawn from the start or where we last

saved? Once you get killed, you're dead, Private.

You're gone, that's it.

So we have to restart.

Okay. Private, this is not a game.

This is war.

You have one life only and I suggest you protect it. Yes, sir.

Is there anyone with a serious question pertaining to their one and only life?

How many life bars do we get, sir?

Gentlemen. And lady, sir, I'm here too.

Gentlemen and lady. Thank you, sir.

You have one life that will last as long as you are living.

There are no miracle cures. There are no resupplies of ammunition. You cannot

restart and you cannot respawn. I repeat, this is not a game.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir.

Right.

Now, sir.

If I may, this all sounds pretty dangerous.

We could die.

Who's real?

I'm scared, sir. Oh, I know, private.

I know, we all are.

There's no shame in being scared.

In battle, fear is what will keep you alive.

Sir, and if this fear gets the best of us, if...

If we feel overwhelmed by the reality of the battle, how do we

engage our

invisibility cloaks?

Oh, God, Christopher, I just heard.

It's just such a tragedy.

But you need to remember how much she loved you.

Even though she's gone, that love between you remains.

And if you need anything, anything at all, you're just after me.

Even if it's just a game of tennis to take your mind off things for a moment.

Anything.

Take care.

Even now.

Like, if you wanted to play tennis right now.

I would do that for you.

Thank you.

Tennis is the last thing on my mind right now.

But it could be the brief respite that you need.

Get you back on track.

You know, you can't mope around here all day.

Can you?

Peter Carroll died on Monday.

I haven't slept for three days.

I'm not in the mood to play tennis.

Come on. Come

on.

If I could just speak for Carol for a moment.

Christopher Westbrook, I love you.

But you need to get on with your life.

And when I say life, I'm talking about social tennis.

Say, Christopher Westbrook.

The entire structure will be five storeys high and that covers 30

with the top level being a heated pool.

So I think you've made a fantastic investment decision.

Congratulations.

Oh.

Sorry, but I'm married.

So, uh... It's a shame.

It's a real shame.

Thank you.

Um...

Stop it.

Oh, hey.

Oh, hey, did you read the sign?

What?

This is a disabled ramp.

Yeah, but it's the only way into the building.

So you just thought that you'd just use the ramp and... Yeah, I guess I could

have taken the stairs, but there aren't any. I suppose you use the disabled

toilets too.

Course not.

Even though they're the only ones in the building, I actually go down the street

and to the mall and use those. Oh, and use their disabled toilets. Yeah, what's

the hold up here, boys?

Old leggy McTwinkle Toast here's clogging up the ramp.

Yeah, that'd be right.

Look, it's hard enough for us as it is, mate. We have a system here and it

works. If you don't like it... This is the only way in or out of the building.

Oh, it's the only way, is it? For you.

It is, it's literally the only exit.

Oh, maybe you're not looking hard enough.

Hurry up. All right, fine. Excuse me while I exit in the non -offensive way.

I'd better go and have a look at him.

Yeah.

All right, due to an increase in OH &S incidents, we've had to instigate a new

system, which will mean we'll have twice the report, and we've added a second

safety officer.

So, Nathan, you good for that?

Great. Now, it's also in... Oh.

Morning, everyone.

Hey. Yes.

Oh, yes.

Come on in.

Milk store.

Hey, welcome.

All right, let's get back into it. Now.

And how's he sleeping?

How are you sleeping more like?

Yeah, not great, but he tends to sleep through most nights.

No, he doesn't.

You don't get up.

Eh, why should I? Why should both of us be tired the next day? She makes me get

up every night to get her a snack or something to drink, anything.

I get hungry. Hey, we're doing most of the work. Oh, come on.

Wow.

Should we?

Yeah, we should probably head off too, because this one's going to need feeding

shortly too.

Nice seeing you all.

Where are you going?

Home, I just said.

I don't think so, not yet.

You haven't breastfed yet?

No, I know, that's why we're going to head home so we can do that. Why are you

heading home?

I, well, to be honest, I don't feel that comfortable breastfeeding in public.

Everyone else does it.

We do it.

Yeah, but... Guys, seriously, what is this?

Susan can do what she wants.

Our wives got their boobs out.

Don't pretend like you didn't have a look.

We all had a good, sticky bit.

Yeah, come on, man.

It's all good.

It's only natural, and it's fair.

You saw our wives' boobs. Now, uh, we should see yours.

Well...

I guess. I mean, in the interest of fairness.

I won't stand for it. Do you hear?

You think you can just come in here and tear me apart with your lies?

Look at me when I'm speaking to you, damn it!

You make me sick!

So where is it?

Where did you put it?

Don't make me beg you.

Babe, I'm telling you, I don't know where the remote is.

I wasn't even the last person to watch the telly.

Who then?

Some other woman, I suppose.

Some other bitch.

Okay, Jessica, we've got to talk.

You're too over the top.

What?

Too theatrical.

What do you mean, theatrical?

How dare you? This whole persona is incredibly old -fashioned.

You listen to me, little man.

You can sit there, attack me with your petty insults, but I can see it's just a

sad and desperate attempt to cover up your lies.

Jess, you're just too act -y.

I just don't find you believable. I don't feel an honest connection.

I feel like you're performing.

I don't see any emotional truth behind your eyes.

You have the audacity to talk to me about the truth.

Are we back on the remote control?

Why are you doing this?

Oh, you're destroying me.

You're destroying us.

So you've decided to stick with the music.

That's great.

I've been meaning to tell you.

I think you'd make an excellent anything else.

Sir, can you hear me?

Oh, please. I'm married. What's your name?

Wedding ring. Okay.

Can you just look into my eyes? Oh, no, please.

Sir, I need you to stay still. Look, I'm very flattered, all right? You're a

very attractive woman, but I'm spoken for. Okay, I just need you to stay where

you are.

Sir, you can't leave like this.

I have to.

Or one of us is going to get hurt.

It's very inappropriate, you know?

You're a professional.

Have some dignity.

Thank you so much. I can't bear the thought of you not coming back.

I'll come back.

In one piece.

And when I do, I'm going to make you my wife.

You'll be mine, Ruby.

Okay.

Don't leave me, dear.

You're going to cry like a schoolgirl.

Goodbye, my love.

Are you going this way?

Dad's picking me up.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, of course he is. You're going to go, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. God, these pants are itchy.

Yeah, 100 % raw.

Yeah, I guess. It's just, it's a hot day, I mean. Yeah. It's going to get

I guess.

Yeah.

That dude ain't right.

That man is an animal.

That motherfucker ain't right.

That man is a...