Original subtitles

.

- Obviously, to say the Show-Off didn't go as planned

would be an understatement.

[thuds] [crowd gasps]

- What happened? - [screaming] Why?

- But what else can you say when you see

a poor girl laying there with her foot on backwards?

- Devastating.

Not just for Krystal and Courteney and Hoodletoot,

but for the entire cheer-munity.

- Why are you smiling?

- Am I?

I must have something funny

banging around the back of my head.

Uh, let's start again.

[clears throat]

Hang on. [clears throat]

My heart goes out to Courteney and her entire team--

I feel that smile now.

- As soon as I saw that poor girl's foot blow up

and heard the doctor vomit, I knew it wasn't good.

Unfortunately, it took the ambulance about 26 minutes

to arrive.

And in an emergency, every second counts.

When I suffered my head injury...

[grunting] [crowd shouting]

We lost about 18 minutes of precious time.

[tuba blares]

- [grunts]

[tuba blares]

- Doctors say that's maybe the reason

I still can't say the word...

[sighs]

- Catastrophic.

That's the word I was thinking of.

- * OK, let's go, OK, let's go *

- * Five, six, seven, eight * - * Uh-huh, uh-huh *

- Had we made it to cheer camp with ten cheerleaders,

we would have gotten the automatic bid to Daytona.

But instead, we did what we call in cheer

[bleep] the mat at our Show-Off.

So now we gotta qualify the old-fashioned way,

by going through the entire cheer season

and mastering the necessary skills.

But we can, we will, we must.

I am gonna draw some flames on this poop, though,

so we remember what happened on that day.

All right, everybody, gather round.

We all here except Krystal?

- I don't see Sally anywhere.

- Oh, she's not coming.

She fell into the sour apple vat at her job

at the Candy Button Factory, so she called in "green."

- Wow, OK.

We'll see her back after her quarantine ends.

Now, I know we're all devastated

about what happened to Krystal,

but we have got to put that behind us.

The good news is, we're gonna replace Krystal,

and we're gonna recruit even better cheerleaders.

- Yeah, we will.

- How are we gonna do that?

- We're gonna perform...

at Media Day.

That's when teams from all the other schools in the conference

get together to promote their programs

in front of local media.

It is an opportunity to show off my team

and recruit more cheerleaders.

And this year, Headltston is hosting the four schools

that make up the conference--

Mater Dei Saint Bernard,

East South Oklahoma Junior College,

Totborough City State, and, of course, Headltston.

And together, we are known as the METH Conference,

and I believe that most of the METH heads

will be coming here later this week.

- Wait, we're performing so soon?

There's still pieces of Krystal's ankle on the mat.

- Honey, what happened to Krystal

happens all the time in cheer.

- That happens all the time?

- Nope, see ya.

- Yeah, Coach, I only have pet insurance.

So if I get injured, uh, they're gonna put me down.

- OK, what I meant was, that stuff never happens,

but stuff that never happens

happens all the time in cheer.

Sometimes you just talk and hope the right words come out.

We will nail our routine in front of the local media,

the word's gonna get out, and we will attract

the top talent from the greater METH area.

And get this-- since we're the only school

in the conference with a competitive cheer program,

we have no competition.

Any questions? - I have one.

- Yes, ma'am?

- When's DiMarcus going to apologize?

- What are you implying?

[cheers and applause]

[thuds, cracks] - [screams]

- I'm not implying anything.

It's your fault Krystal broke.

- How would you know? You were asleep.

- OK, what are youimply--

- DiMarcus-- - I wasn't asleep,

and I saw you bail on the catch.

- Peaches-- - Speaking of bail,

shouldn't you be checking in with your parole officer?

I think your ankle bracelet's blowing up.

[buzzing] - Oh, yeah, it can detect

when I'm about to beat someone's ass!

- Hey, hey, hey! - Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!

Now, there's a line between tomfoolery and jackassery,

and y'all are walking it.

Now, if something bad happens to one of us,

it's actually on each of us.

- The word apologize is not in the list of words or phrases

that DiMarcus uses to express himself.

Besides, I was just doing my thing.

- I mean, of course it's DiMarcus's fault.

But right now, I gotta lift them up as a team.

So I don't want to see any more finger-pointing.

- Yeah, you hear that?

She doesn't want to see any more finger-pointing.

Understand?

Do you know whose fault it was when the Titanic went down?

Everyone on that boat.

- Steven, you just let me handle it.

- Yeah, can you just let her handle it?

All right, Captain.

- I know it's hard to perform after an accident like we had.

But we can, we must, and we will, all right?

Any more questions?

- Just one. - Yes, ma'am?

- Uh, we suck [bleep] in a parade.

- First of all, that's not a question.

And yeah, OK, we had a setback,

but we do not suck [bleep] in a parade.

We're about one month and three good cheerleaders

away from sucking [bleep] in a parade.

Speaking of which, we're gonna cut all the potty words

out of this, right?

I just--I feel like people at my church may watch.

- There she is. - Hey, baby.

- Hey, I was gonna pitch we stay in,

maybe watch one of your shows

where the housewives scream at each other,

which somehow relaxes you.

- I wish I could, but I gotta go talk to Krystal's parents.

But I am bringing this over as a small gesture.

- You're going with grapes and strawberries

for breaking their kid?

Feels a little bit more like a tropical fruit situation

to me. - It's gonna be fine.

I've had this conversation a hundred times.

Cheer's a dangerous sport.

I mean, no offense, but my athletes don't have

the benefit of pads or helmets.

- I was wearing a helmet when I got hit.

Doctors left part of that helmet in my head.

[crowd groaning]

- Well, I know, baby.

I've been to the airport with you.

- Mm. - Be still.

OK, all right.

I think this is gonna be real quick.

They've been in cheer their whole lives

and they know the risk.

- All right, well, would you hurry back?

'Cause I was looking forward to hanging out.

- I know, baby.

- I meant fooling around.

- I cracked the code!

- Smart and looks good leaving the room.

God gave with both hands right there.

- I am shattered--

that's a bad word choice.

Um, I was so saddened by what happened to Krystal.

I mean, she is like a daughter to me.

- Aww.

- Yeah, she is by far our favorite child.

In fact, if we'd had her first, we would have stopped trying.

- And we're gonna miss our baby girl,

but I want you to know that even though you're not gonna

be performing, honey, you are always a member of our team,

and in our heart. - [whimpers]

- What do you mean that she won't be performing?

- 'Cause her foot's on backwards.

- But you told us the documentary would be about her.

- Hmm?

- We expect her to be in every single routine.

- Yeah, and to make it to Daytona.

- Come on, now, y'all.

Y'all seem like reasonable people.

[tense percussive music]

* *

They are not reasonable people.

.

- All right, he comes through here.

We got tumbling pass, tumbling pass.

He can take her forward in the stunt.

- Hey, what are you doing with my dolls?

[whimsical music]

* *

- I'm using your toys to come up with a performance

for Media Day that includes Krystal,

which was a lot easier when she could move.

- Come here.

Let me give you my famous PG-13 foot massage.

- Oh, baby, I don't have time, honey.

- No?

No, you don't have time for this?

- Oh, no.

Well, now you can't stop till one of us dies.

- [chuckles] I miss you.

- I know, baby.

- Ever since we stopped working at the same school,

I only get to see you ten hours a day,

and seven of those are sleeping.

And if I'm lucky, 20 minutes of...nunya business.

- Unfortunately, that's gonna get worse

before it gets better, 'cause DiMarcus broke my flyer.

- Well, I'm gonna give you two pieces of advice.

One, do not push DiMarcus too hard.

He will leave you.

And two, under no circumstances unbox

my Stretch Armstrong action figure.

That is our retirement.

- OK, noted.

And I appreciate your opinions, Coach,

but my team responds to tough love.

They do.

- DiMarcus ain't gonna respond to tough love.

- You know who does, though?

- Me.

- That's right, so get to work on those calves.

- Mm.

[cracking knuckles]

- Oh, oh.

Oh, no, he's serious.

Oh, no.

The magic fingers? - Mm.

Calf-rubbing always leads to nunya business.

- [shrieks, laughs]

- See?

- [laughing]

All right, everybody, gather round.

[clapping] Come here.

- Uh, do you think you could, uh, hurry up, please?

- I can, but I won't be responsible

for what happens if I do.

My name is Miss Dot.

The way to remember that is, there are two dots in Miss Dot,

one on the I, and one is my name.

I have many jobs.

Just like this tape.

It can prevent injuries, set bones, hang pictures.

I even used it once to close a blouse

so my back privates wouldn't show.

- One, two, three, four--

- Ow, ow! - Seven, eight.

- Ow, ow! - Three, four--

- Ow, ow! - Seven, eight.

- Ow! - I'm not doing this.

- What is your problem?

- I will tell you what his problem is.

He's barely trying.

- Yeah, I'm busting my ass here.

- Hey, stay in your lane.

DiMarcus, why did you stop? - Because this is stupid.

- OK, you don't tell me what's stupid.

I know stupid.

- [laughs]

OK.

Oh, I'm--I'm stuck.

Yeah, I'm stuck.

- This routine is just weird and sad.

- You don't tell me what's weird and sad.

I know weird and sad.

- [grunts] Oh, no.

Ahh.

OK. Come on.

Oh, this is worse.

- I'm your coach, and you need to respect me.

Do you understand that?

- Look, I'm just saying, if you want to attract new talent,

forget about Krystal. - [gasps]

- You let me do my thing.

There is no Media Day without "me."

- Well, there's still a "dia," and you ain't gonna be "day-a."

Like I said, you just keep talking

and hope the right words come.

You're benched. Steven, you're in for DiMarcus.

- Oh, come on.

Yeah, just a sec.

- Cheer is like a pyramid.

You need a strong foundation--

well, actually, I'd be at the top.

But I was a base, so it's, like, a little confu--OK.

My point is, we need to put our best possible team

out there on Media Day, and that's why

I thank Jesus Cristos we have no competition.

[phone buzzes]

Hey, Tam.

- I was in pieces over what happened to Krystal.

- Are you smiling? Your eyes are real squinty.

- I'm smiling 'cause of the good news.

- Well, what good news? [chuckles]

- They transferred Sammy Davis Sr. Junior College

into your conference.

It's now METHS, and we're the "sss."

Isn't that fun?

- That is so much fun.

- OK, I'm gonna let you go.

When you talk to your husband, you tell him I said

thank you for making this happen.

- Oh, we're gonna talk about it a lot.

- Guess I'll see you at Media Day.

See you there. [slurps]

[tense percussive music]

.

- Boonie, did you have Sammy Davis Sr. Junior transferred

into our conference? - I sure did.

Thought it would be a nice way for us to spend

a little more time together.

But, uh, based off the way you're squeezing

my Battle Armor He-Man, I'm guessing I was wrong.

- Boonie, I don't want to have to go up against

my old school when I'm trying to say I have

the best cheer program in the conference--leave it.

- Here was my whole thought process.

I want to see more of my wife.

I'm a little bit hungry.

I'm gonna enter us in the conference

and I'm gonna make chili.

And quite honestly, I feel like I nailed the situation.

- Baby, I appreciate the sentiment, I do.

But maybe next time, when you get a big idea,

you just run it past me before the thoughts start processing.

- I'm sorry, baby, I see that now.

I-- - OK.

- I think honestly, it probably just was

a little bit my head injury.

- [sighs] OK, I'm sor--

OK, I'm sorry.

You know I understand.

- Sometimes when Courteney gets mad,

I play the head injury card.

[chuckles] And if that doesn't work,

I play the head injury card.

[chuckles]

Just so he's safe. - OK.

[energetic music]

* *

I'm so excited about this season.

We have got a great group of kids

and one middle-aged man.

- METH and football just go together, you know?

And I got a real fast team this year,

so I'm excited to introduce some speed into the mix.

We're gonna be cooking.

Uh, also, I look forward to getting

with the Huddlestone cheer coach.

[laughs] She's my wife.

I can make that joke.

- I was actually referring to a different middle-aged man.

- I'm a 17th-year sophomore,

but I am in the shape of my life.

I've got a three-pack.

Can't tell because boy cheerleaders

aren't allowed to wear midriffs like the girls.

And I'd show you, but, uh,

if there's one thing I learned in the rental car business,

you've got to keep your shirt on.

- And I'm with my girl Tina, and the cops are on me,

and I realize that that's not even my car,

I got, like, three felonies in the glove compartment,

and that's not even [bleep] Tina.

[laughs]

But, uh, yeah, cheer's chill.

- I do not like drama.

And this year there's, like,

a lot of drama on the cheer team.

Last year, I got along with everybody.

When I say "Headl," you say what?

Headl what?

- What's my goal this season?

To be the first man that throws a cheerleader onto the moon.

- I'd like to thank all of my followers

who made the #WHYYYYYY videos go viral--

- I love you, Krystal!

- [screaming] Why?

- But I cannot endorse this trend.

- Well, the good news is,

we still have a couple of openings.

So if you want to be a part of a team that is coached

by a 14-time national champion,

then you look no further than Headltston Junior College.

- How do you feel about your old school

joining your division?

- Well, we're not here to talk about my old school.

We're here to talk about the unique opportunity--

- Courteney! - Tammy?

- I haven't seen you since you got fired

from your old school, unjustly.

- Look who it is.

Oh, it's my little Tammy.

- I don't wanna make this about me.

- [chuckles]

- I--I miss you so much.

- I know, honey, I miss you.

Uh, this is my former assistant coach, Tammy Istiny.

- Are we gonna see some cheer today?

- Well, Media Day isn't the time

to do, like, a big show,

so I'm just gonna give you a little taste

of what's to come this season at "Headlestoon."

A cheer-petizer, if you will.

- Uh-oh.

I made a boo-boo.

- What?

- You know little isn't in my DNA.

[percussive music]

* *

[cheers and applause]

- * You know who it is *

* It's time to get foxy *

* SDSJS, it's time to begin *

* The dynasty continues, welcome to the Fox Den *

- * Out here living out my best life *

* Fierce and clever *

* They call me Sammy Davis *

* No one can do it better *

* 1 plus 14 *

* Means we want another ring, ring *

* Hello? *

* Can someone please pick up the phone? *

- * No, I'm sorry, I'm too busy winning *

- * You can't keep up *

* 'Cause being sly never stops *

* Take a wild guess *

* You've just been outfoxed *

- * Green, black, and white going up *

- * We have arrived, now there's no turning back *

- To be honest, I'm not that impressed.

- * And show 'em who we are *

* Name in lights, born star *

* Let's show 'em who we are *

* Blow the roof off the bar *

* Let's show 'em who we are *

* Red Foxes *

[cheers and applause] - Yes!

- I feel terrible I put you in this position.

I just thought it'd be fun if we could work together.

- Is it fun?

- At the moment, it is not.

- Well, don't feel bad for me.

I know what I'm doing, you know.

If I need you, I know where to find you.

- Yes, ma'am.

It was inappropriate of me to put my team in this conference

and more inappropriate of me to say

I would be getting with the Huddlestone cheer coach,

because that will definitely not be happening tonight.

- All right, Buttons, round up.

- We're not going on after that, right?

- Why wouldn't we?

- Because we suck [bleep] in a parade.

- You see what you did to her? Listen up, y'all.

We're not gonna worry about them,

because we're here to show people

in our conference what it means to be a Button.

Now, when I look at this team,

I see grit, determination, heart.

That's the stuff of champions.

That's what I know people are gonna want to be a part of.

So we are gonna go out there, and we're gonna kick some ass.

See, you talk enough and the right words come.

Buttons on three.

One, two, three.

all: Buttons!

- Showtime, baby.

- Where do you think you're going?

I didn't hear me take you off the bench.

- [chuckles]

You can't do this without DiMarcus.

- I don't think you understand what it means

to be part of a team yet.

- I understand y'all are gonna

embarrass yourselves without me.

- We'll see who's embarrassed.

[cheers and applause]

- Five, six, seven, eight!

- Roll, Buttons, roll!

[fire alarm ringing]

- Your attention, please. This is a fire.

- Oh, come on.

- Please walk slowly towards the nearest exit.

- Whoa! - And then go home.

[dramatic music]

.

- You know, I was hoping that Media Day would be

a chance to get the word out,

and we'd be able to add to our team.

But like everything else lately,

the Lord had a different plan.

But I'll tell you what--

even after everything, my team was ready

to go right back out there, and that tells me one thing.

They do not suck [bleep] in a parade.

[phone buzzes]

Hold on. Sorry.

Oh, it's Tammy. Hold on.

Hey, girl, hey.

- You sly dog.

You got another two members of my team to defect.

- What are you talking about?

I see grit, I see determination, I see heart.

That's the stuff of champions.

That's what I know people are gonna want to be a part of.

- If I was gonna be betrayed by anybody,

I'm so glad it's you.

I hope they don't fall and break their knees.

[laughs, snorts] Stop it!

Anyway, I'll see you on mat, doll.

[sings high note]

- Huh.

[claps] Listen up.

I got good news, y'all.

Because of Media Day,

we picked up two new cheerleaders

who used to cheer for me at SDSJC.

I want you to welcome them.

Come on in here, babies.

[claps]

They're one of the team.

Let's make them feel at home.

- Coach, I think it's--

I think it's only fair that they try out.

- Uh, roundoff handspring full?

[energetic music]

* *

[applause] - [gasps]

- Yeah, I'm sure with a little more stretching,

it could--it could work.

- All right.

They're part of the team now.

Y'all make them feel at home.

- Hey, uh, Coach. Can I talk to you for a second?

- We're right in the middle of a practice, so--

- I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

- Well, don't just tell me. Tell the team.

Y'all, DiMarcus is here.

He has something he wants to say.

- I am sorry...

that y'all don't understand how important I was to this team.

- [sighs] I'm gonna kill him.

- Sorry that I screwed up at the Show-Off

and that I broke Krystal.

Can I come back now?

- Come here to me. Let me talk to you.

Listen, I know why you did that flip at the Show-Off.

You thought everybody was looking at you.

You loved the attention.

And you're right, they are looking at you.

You're a star.

But you gotta make some space for the rest of this team,

and they have got to feel safe.

I don't think we can win without you,

but I know you can't win by yourself,

so you gonna be all in or all out?

- I'm all in.

- All right.

Now go make nice with the team.

- Hey, Coach, by the way-- - Yeah?

- Got some balls letting our team go out there on Media Day.

I respect that in a woman.

[grunts] Ah!

- Lord, enough messing around.

We got a long way to go before we get to Daytona.

I want a hundred laps. Let's go.

[gentle music]

I believe in tough love.

The tough part is easy.

- That was abysmal.

Don't look at me.

Don't look at each other.

You are my shame.

- It's the love that makes a difference.

Peaches, act like you just knocked over a Sunglasses Hut

and the law's on your tail.

Cheer is about push and pull, and as a coach,

I know when to push my team

and when to have someone pull the fire alarm.

- Courteney and I, we got a shorthand.

If she texts me an emoji of a woman running,

means she's running late.

If she texts me a peach and an eggplant,

means we're going to the farmers' market,

then nunya business.

And on the rare occasion where she sends me this,

that means she needs my help.

* *

[phones chiming]

Even when we're not on the same team,

we are always on the same team.

[fire alarm ringing] - Your attention, please.

This is a fire.

[phone chimes]

- Ooh!

Your boy's going to the farmers' market.

- All right, y'all, warm-up's over.

Let me see something.

- Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze.

Good.

Pop up.

- That's how we roll.

* *

- Want to give it one more try?

- Devastating.

[laughs] I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I've got the giggles now.

Just give me--[slurps]

[laughing]

Whoo! [laughs]

It's not funny, Tammy!

Stop it!

We're gonna--[laughing]

I'm sorry.

- [whistling]

- Mama, look!