Original subtitles

EMILY (VOICEOVER): For those of you

who have had the pleasure of visiting Evergreen Lane,

you know what I mean when I say this is the most

festive street in America.

And for those of you who have never had the chance to visit

us, fret not, because you

are about to see

a street that carries the spirit of the holidays all year round.

Normally, this

cul-de-sac is the center

of all neighborhood

activity, but today, we

all had a previous engagement.

There has never been a more deserving bride

and groom than you and Jared.

I love you guys so much.

Thank you for being

my bridesmaids.

I'm so lucky.

Don't make me cry before the vows.

Not cool, Emily.

And before I use this for

myself, I hand embroidered it.

It's something new and something

blue, so it counts as two.

This is beautiful.

I am so honored that you

borrowed my old tiara and veil.

I wore it when I was Snow Queen at college.

I'm the one that's honored.

It's gorgeous.

You look spectacular.

Thank you.

You really do.

Can you believe

the Johnsons won't be here?

Hey, now.

No need to talk about they who have left the lane.

And you didn't need to make him a groomsman in absentia.

Why do you care that

he's an honorary groomsman?

You are my best man.

That's why you're here with me on the most

important day of my life.

You, me and Bob.

Hey, we're all out of Vienna sausages.

No, no.

The charcuterie is for the groom.

- I was a groom once.

- It's OK.

It's OK.

I'm far too nervous to eat.

Maybe I've got

something that could help.

Homemade Bavarian mead made with honey from my very own apiary.

The HOA handbook says

nothing about beekeeping, Ned.

Well, until it's amended, just mind your own bees-ness

and let's have a toast.

Here's to the next chapter of life, love and pursuit

of the holidays.

[pop]

Cheers.

Cheers.

[wedding march plays]

Sweetheart, it's time.

OK, Mom.

Yes, dear.

Do not call my mom dear.

Gentlemen, let's do this.

Yeah!

[wedding music]

Everybody sit down, please.

You look beautiful.

Hey.

Hey.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered

today to celebrate the union of these two beautiful souls.

Emily, the moment I fell in love with you

was captured

on a Polaroid picture

when we were seven years old on your front porch.

And from that day on, I've been looking forward to this day.

As I stand in front of you today, although my knees are

shaking a bit like

that Polaroid picture,

I've watched you develop

into this beautiful, smart, kind

woman that I get to spend the rest of my life with.

I promise you, I will do my best to paint

a perfect picture of love

and devotion together forever.

Jared, I always knew there was something very special

about you.

And when we reconnected,

everyone reminded me of what

an amazing architect you are.

[laughter]

And they were right.

The way you have designed your life with loyalty

for the ones you love.

And it shows me who you really are at your core.

You make me feel safe and supported,

and there is no one I would rather

make plans to build the rest of my life with than you.

OFFICIATOR: Emily Melrose, do you take Jared to be

your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

OFFICIATOR: Jared

Farnsworth, do you take Emily

to be your lawful wedded wife?

Absolutely, without

a doubt, I do.

OFFICIATOR: Then,

by the power vested in me,

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

And you may now kiss the bride.

[AMY STROUP, "HOLD ONTO HOPE LOVE"] So hold onto hope, love

I've searched high and low for you

For you

For the first time ever,

Mr. and Mrs. Jared Farnsworth.

(SINGING) Each day gets closer

So hold on stronger to me

EMILY (VOICEOVER): You may be wondering why we

didn't do a Christmas wedding.

We considered it.

But in memory

of Jared's late father,

we chose to do it on his parents' anniversary.

And even though we had

a fun-filled honeymoon planned,

we were both excited to get back

home and get into the spirit

of the upcoming holidays.

The only problem was this year, we had no idea what

kind of spirit it would bring.

[engine roaring]

[LOUIS EDWARDS & HENRY

PARSLEY, "HALLOWEEN FUNK"]

(SINGING) Ghosts and ghouls

Things that creep cruel

What in the Samhain?

Silver Squad

to Green Team, are

you seeing what we're seeing?

[suspenseful music]

Looks like we got a couple bona fide frightafiles.

Gonna move in for a closer look.

Watch my 6:00.

Woo.

Double, double.

Toil and trouble.

All right, so what are we gonna do about this, folks?

Should I get

the president on the line?

Let him enjoy his honeymoon.

We'll break it to him when he gets back.

We get it, Belinda.

You want grandchildren.

But I think he

would want to know.

Don't mess this up for me.

Are you excited, my lovely?

By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.

I'll take that as a yes.

You have too many ghosts, not enough headstones.

Come on, people, get it right.

Ow. Ah.

Ow.

Squirrel.

Jared, you really didn't have to spring for a stretch limo.

We're just on our way home from the airport.

Oh, but I did.

We are still on our honeymoon.

It was the best honeymoon ever.

I enjoyed every

second of it with you.

You know what?

After two weeks in Scandinavia,

I am actually really

excited to get back home.

I could have used one

more week in [non-english].

I think I preferred

[non-english].

I wonder if you'll feel the same way

after we celebrate Walpurgisnacht night

this spring.

I pre-booked the hotel

and everything.

I'm sorry.

What?

The biggest Swedish springtime

festival that there is.

Apparently, it's not to be missed.

Honey, I love that you're a planner,

but vacations are kind of something

we need to plan together now.

You're right.

You're right.

I just got too excited.

I'm used to planning things on my own.

But now, we're married.

We make decisions together.

- Yeah.

- 'Cause you're my wife.

My husband.

Mm.

I love you.

Oh.

EMILY: Oh.

JARED: We're home.

Oh, wow.

I wonder if Pamela's

remodel is done.

Glad she liked the design.

Oh, she was so happy with it.

You did such a good job.

I wish I was as fulfilled

at my job as you are.

You're literally

the best writer I know.

Copywriter.

I said what I said.

I mean it.

Thanks, love.

I'll get back into it.

I just wish we could stay in fantasy land a little bit

longer.

- Well, then you are in luck.

Because like the medieval

knights of old,

I shall carry you over

the threshold of our new castle.

Really not necessary.

It's a sign of my love and affection for you,

a literal symbol that I would drop everything on account

of your beck and call.

EMILY: Woo!

Jared!

Jared.

Jared!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Here.

Here we go.

Come here.

Sorry.

Are you OK? Are you sure?

I'm OK. I'm fine.

- Here, let me help you.

- Oh, no.

Not again.

JARED: It's time.

No, no, no, Jared.

Let's bring it down a notch.

Remember the mantra we've been working on.

Not my weeds. Not my garden.

Emily, when you hold

the mantle of the presidency,

this entire neighborhood

is my garden.

Now, if you will.

Brought the clipboard

on the honeymoon?

[doorbell rings]

MAN (ON INTERCOM): You rang?

Uh, yes, I did ring.

I wanted to introduce

myself and ask

you a few questions

about your understanding

of the HOA guidelines.

Honey, I don't think

that's an actual person.

I think that's a recording.

- I think you're probably right.

[laughs] [coughs] Sorry.

Seriously, did you guys ring?

Hi.

Hi, I am Jared

Farnsworth, HOA president

of this lovely neighborhood.

This is my first counselor

and head of activities

committee, Emily Melrose.

Farnsworth.

Emily Farnsworth.

It's my newest title.

Jared and I got

married last month.

Congratulations.

We've heard tale of the presidential power couple.

I had a premonition we would be graced by your presence.

Won't you come inside?

That would be amazing.

It would-- it would,

except that my wife and we

just got back from

our honeymoon, and we're very,

very, very tired.

That's nothing a little

Jack-o-Lantern Java won't fix.

And Marvin makes them extra strong.

MARVIN: Yes, I do.

- That sounds amazing.

I'm sure it it. I'm sure it is.

Except that we haven't

been deloused yet.

Deloused?

Yes, but in the meantime,

per your display,

as detailed as it is, we are going to have to ask

you to, you know, pare it back.

BOTH: Pare it back?

The lights

in the pumpkins can stay.

Great touch, actually, but your lawn display

has to go back

into the crypt, as it were.

I don't understand.

Our realtor told us this was the most festive neighborhood

in all of the state of Utah.

And we are.

Yes, at Christmas.

We are Evergreen Lane, not Ever Scream Lane.

Ever Scream Lane.

MARVIN: We should

totally call it that.

Yes--

No, don't do that.

That was just a very clever play on words

for me to emphasize my point.

Which is what exactly?

Per HOA guidelines, we--

it-- it says that Section 12--

I'm pretty sure it says you have too much Halloween.

Well, that's not

what Albert told us.

MARVIN: And it was confirmed by Gail.

Oh, so you've met my parents.

They were the first to welcome

us to the neighborhood.

It's so nice of you both to let them stay with you

for the rest

of hurricane season,

especially right after the wedding.

Must be scoring some serious

son-in-law points there.

Mm-hmm.

Well, I better be.

You know what?

Why don't you just excuse us.

We're gonna get settled.

And then we can discuss

this whole in-laws

and bylaws situation.

Does that sound OK?

Fair is foul,

and foul is fair.

Just let us know.

Will do.

Let's go.

Turn around.

LUNA: So great to meet you.

MARVIN: Ta-ta.

Same here.

That's a strange couple.

Indeed.

[music playing]

EMILY: I really hope you're not mad at me.

I'm definitely not mad, Emily.

I'm just a little surprised, is all.

Why didn't you tell me you invited them?

I'm so sorry.

My mom asked in the middle of the wedding craziness,

and I just forgot.

I truly am sorry.

But they're in the guest loft above the garage.

You're never gonna see them.

Well, don't apologize.

I love your parents.

Love hosting your parents.

It's just, you know, like you said, it's just me and you now,

so I just want to be

on the same page on this stuff.

That's all. - Absolutely.

I got your back.

And I've got yours.

Now, let's take care of this

decoration situation.

All right.

ALBERT: Jared, what

seems to be the problem?

Oh, I don't know, Albert.

Maybe the fact that we got back from the wedding of our dreams

only to return to a nightmare.

It's just a few lawn decorations.

That's how it starts.

And the next thing you know,

the younger generation,

they're sneaking out of their bedrooms,

searching for the Great Pumpkin.

Let's not get crazy now.

I'm not.

It-- it's just I'm hoping we are being sensitive

to those who may

not feel comfortable

celebrating this time of year.

We have bylaws put in place like this for a reason, right?

But that's not entirely true.

What do you mean it's not true?

The motion to de-escalate the other holidays was proposed and

hotly debated, but in the end,

it was never voted

on and therefore, never passed.

What other lies have I been told?

Nobody lied to you, Jared.

The council just decided

after what happened,

maybe a vote wasn't necessary.

Everyone agreed

to honor the de-escalation

of Halloween out of respect.

But technically, there's

no official bylaw.

What do you mean

after what happened?

Oh, honey, have you forgotten?

We did all of this for you.

For me?

Maybe she blocked it out.

It was the last big Halloween we celebrated on the lane.

You mean the last year with grandma.

[gentle music]

Excuse me.

I'll be in the basement.

The ba--

[intriguing music]

Hey, Gram-Gram.

I'm sorry I left you down here.

I just couldn't figure out exactly where to put you.

Your memory lives best

in my head anyway.

I know it's not the best way to deal with things,

but here we are in a basement

full of old memories.

No one can bother us.

[gasps] Jiminy Christmas.

You scared me.

I'm sorry.

I know how you feel

about basements

and well, you've been down here for, wow,

27 minutes and counting.

It's gotta be a record for me.

Honestly, it's not that bad.

[pop]

[screams] What was that?

Furnace.

Ah.

Yeah, no, I still hate it down here.

Yeah.

[music playing]

You OK?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Oh.

I think I've just been so focused

on the wedding

and our future that I

kind of forgot about the past.

Well, she was a great woman.

EMILY: Yeah, I can still hear her voice.

Remember what she always

used to say to us?

GRAM-GRAM: You two

belong in a storybook.

It's Halloween, sweetie.

What could you possibly

be upset about?

Ashlynn Ashworth and her friends

dressed like

scarecrows in her yard.

And they totally jumped

out and scared us.

You got yard yelped, did ya?

Yep.

Don't let them get to you.

They were just

trying to have fun.

But I ran so fast, I spilled my candy on the way back.

That's OK, Emily.

I'll share mine.

Jared, that

won't be necessary.

I'll take you two

out on the golf cart.

Awesome.

I heard Mary Louise and Bob are giving

out full-sized candy bars.

We gotta get there before they run out.

All in good time, my pretties.

All in good time.

Before we go, why don't

you tell Jared what

I always say about Halloween?

Never go to Ned's house.

He only gives out

free stride elk liver.

True.

What else do I say about Halloween?

It started as a day to

remember those who passed away.

Even though we get to dress up and get candy from our friends

and family, we

should also remember

our friends and family members that aren't with us anymore.

And not only should we remember them,

but they should be celebrated.

But why do we dress up?

Because it's tradition.

And there's no

better way to connect

with your friends and neighbors than through age old traditions.

Now, what do you say we get

back to my favorite one of all,

trick or treating?

Let's do it!

All right, kids, mount up.

Woo!

Happy Halloween!

We got so much candy that year.

Buckets full.

Aw.

I had no idea that'd

be the last time

she took us trick or treating.

She was gone just two weeks later.

That's when the neighborhood decided to take a step back.

She was the center of the

celebration with her creativity

and the costumes

and the decorations.

She always inspired everybody.

Halloween was never the same without her.

Of course, I was

heartbroken when she passed,

but I had no idea

that's why everyone else

pulled back from celebrating.

And I never asked for that.

And certainly not something Gram-Gram would have wanted.

No, you're right.

I mean, she said it herself.

Halloween is for remembering

your loved ones

and having a whole lot of fun.

It's time we bring Halloween

back, Evergreen style.

Are you sure about this?

No, I'm not sure about this.

I'm actually scared half

to death about this.

You know how I am.

I don't like scary movies.

I don't even like movies

that people say aren't scary,

but definitely are. - Tell me about it.

I've been trying

to get you to finish

NeverEnding Story or forever.

Yeah, that's

never gonna happen

because I hate quicksand as much

as I hate scary basements.

Noted.

But it's time for you to wake up and face the creepy organ music.

For the neighborhood

and for grandma.

And for you.

Now, let's get you out of here.

But first--

No kissing

in the creepy basement.

Fair enough.

Speed it up, Buttercup.

We got work to do.

Looking good, Grandma.

I figured I could call you that now that I'm

officially in the family.

Don't worry.

We're gonna make you proud.

EMILY: Come up to the attic.

You have to see this.

Em, do you just want

to bring them down here?

EMILY: I can't.

Just-- please just come up.

[wind blows]

[creepy music]

[floorboards creaking]

Wow.

EMILY: Look what I found.

Portal to Pan's Labyrinth.

This was

my grandma's witch hat.

Oh, there's so much great stuff up here.

I can see why you

spent so much time here.

You've never been to my attic?

No, I was never allowed.

And apparently, I'm still trespassing.

EMILY: "No boys allowed, even Jawid Fawnswuff."

My spelling was atrocious.

In your defense, that is

the way I used to pronounce it.

Well, Jared Farnsworth is very much allowed up here.

He's not a boy.

He's a man.

My man.

Mm-hmm.

All right.

We have to brainstorm how we are gonna make this the best

Halloween in years.

We could start by selling

tickets to this creepy attic.

Come on.

It's not that creepy.

Hmm--

I will not be ashamed by my choice in music.

And how do you explain the creepy typewriter

from The Shining?

That was my grandma's.

She taught me

to type on that one.

Yeah, and that was

the desk where I would

sit and write all my stories.

You know, maybe this is a message from her to get

you to start writing again.

I wish she'd sent that message to my former agent or publisher

or two.

I spent most of my 20s

trying to make

a career out of writing stories, but it just wasn't meant to be.

Maybe it's best this chapter of my life

is left up here, just

a beautiful childhood memory.

This was your dream, Em.

Yeah, but when your dream is just collecting dust in a box,

it's time to pack it up and move on.

All right, we gotta get busy.

- OK.

EMILY: We have an HOA

meeting to plan.

Yes!

We have some serious bylaws to propose.

Mm!

I am gonna

to mobilize the ladies

of the activities committee.

JARED: Mm-hmm.

And if you could coordinate

with Ned about a venue.

On it.

Thank you.

[gentle music]

Oh, Jared.

Thanks

for the inspiration, Gram.

We'll make you proud.

[cell phone dings]

All right, Evergreen

ladies, this

may come as a very big surprise, but

in honor of my sweet

Grandma Melrose,

I want to help bring back Halloween in a big way.

So let's get a good

old-fashioned brainstorm

going on the thread,

traditions, old and new.

All ideas welcome.

Fire 'em off.

And as Gram-Gram

would say, mount up.

Come on, honey, let's go.

Ned's hosting, and you know he needs a good 36 hour advance

notice to demusk the place.

JARED: Coming, sweetheart.

I thought we agreed after the last time

that we weren't gonna hold the HOA meetings at Ned's anymore.

I mean, he served

expired military rations.

I think we should

have a potluck chart.

Well, then we're

gonna need a lot of luck

because Susie's funeral potatoes almost killed me.

I'm impressed.

You have really

upped your game here.

What, is the queen coming?

Nothing says royalty like charcuterie.

I've got the donuts!

Dibs on the creepy cruller.

Ned, don't push

me on the pastries.

You can't have a creepy cruller

because they don't exist.

Wait, there are only crullers?

No donuts?

I know how popular they are, so I made them all "croo-lers."

I'm sorry.

What did you say?

Crullers.

I-- I said crullers.

That's what I thought.

Thank you, Belinda.

At least you won't

embarrass yourself leg

wrestling Bob for one of them.

I would have won if he let me wear my orthotic sneakers.

It was barefoot or bust in my day.

That's because they

hadn't invented shoes yet.

So, what's the tea, fam?

Are the new neighbors going to show up today?

If they do, I'm sure it will be in a puff of smoke

or on broom back.

I swear those two are witches.

Have you ever heard that Luna speak?

Every word she says sounds like she's casting a spell.

So spooky.

Yeah.

They've been

invited, as per Jared

and the prima conventus

clause of '94.

I've heard that

Marvin is a mortgage

banker by day and moonlights

as an undertaker just for kicks.

I don't know what they called them in the 19th century, but

today, we call them morticians.

And where did you

hear that from anyway?

Well, I'll give you a hint.

He wears a singlet

for underwear,

and he believes that pro wrestling is real.

If a masked man gave you the tombstone pile driver

at a Waffle House outside of Galveston, I assure you,

you would know just

how real it is.

I can see that your ongoing litigation with the undertaker

hasn't been resolved.

That doesn't mean that Marvin works in a mortuary for fun.

NED: Think about it.

The initials, M. Balmer.

M. Balmer.

What kind of a cruel joke were his parents playing?

Worst part is

I'm M. Balmer V. So

that's five generations of being

bullied in middle school.

But no, I am not a mortician for fun or professionally.

Just want to clear

that up from the jump.

Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude.

I'm not offended in the least.

Round about the cauldron go.

In the poison, entrails throw.

No, the poison and then--

And while we're at it, my wife is not a witch.

Exactly what

a witch would say.

Dibs on the ruby slippers.

Round about the cauldron go.

In the poison, entrails throw.

Yes.

Oh, sorry.

You guys must think I'm crazy.

I just got cast in Macbeth

at the Castle Theater.

Oh.

She's gonna be witch number one.

Yeah, that's-- that's

sort of a dream role for me.

Your dream role

is witch number one?

Yeah, 'cause witch number

two was already cast.

Ah.

Marvin and I are

English professors at UVU

and total Shakespeare buffs.

What light through

yonder window

breaks Ti's our new neighbors.

And Halloween is their sun.

I see we have a fellow Shakespearean among us.

Just got my Bard card renewed a fortnight ago.

Huzzah.

Ah.

Here we go.

And your lawn display is amazing BTDubs.

An homage to the great

tragedies.

Mm.

Shakespeare was the father of the modern horror genre.

Thou speaketh truth.

Aye, aye.

MARVIN: Aye.

Alas, I hate to break up this fun little drama

camp we've got going on here, but this is Evergreen Lane, not

the Globe Theater.

And our HOA

president would never

allow this level of theatrics.

[smoke puff]

Oh!

Ladies and gentlemen of the HOA, for the first time ever,

we present--

[coughing]

To your muster stations.

Go.

Move.

I got the "croo-lers"."

PAMELA: It's pronounced cruller!

Ladies and gentlemen, I do

apologize for this late start.

I was unaware of the potency

of indoor smoke bombs.

You could have just borrowed my Bulgarian fog condenser,

but whatever.

Noted.

Thank you.

I'm sure you're all

wondering why we called

this last-minute meeting.

No, not really.

Emily emailed us all

an itinerary last night.

Great. well, I'm sure you're all wondering

why the change of heart, then.

No, Emily sent us

a very inspirational voice

memo explaining everything.

Did she now?

That's great.

Well, I guess I'm not sure what I'm

doing here other than just looking pretty fly

in my vintage J. Press suit.

You look great, babe.

Do you want me to take this?

Please, please.

All right, everyone,

per addendum B,

subparagraph C

of the HOA handbook,

the head of the activities

committee

has the right and obligation

to propose and

uphold traditions new and old.

I love it when you speak bylaw.

Mm.

I learned from the best.

Wow, you two really took that two become one homily to heart.

Oh, thank you so much, Pamela.

That's really sweet.

OK, please stop.

So, I took

the committee's feedback.

I ran it by Mr. President here.

And we have decided to turn Evergreen Lane

into Ever Scream Lane.

Oh, wow--

We have taken the traditions

of yesteryear, combined

with the zeitgeist of current day,

to bring this spooky season to life in a new and thrilling way.

Mwahaha.

Inspired by the boldness

of the Balmers,

each household will be required to create

a Halloween lawn display to

bring the spirit of this holiday

to life.

You have one week to get your displays together

or there will be consequences.

[menacing laugh]

I mean, it'll

be like, you know,

a citation or community

service hours.

But do not tempt me for I have fresh citation pads.

There will be daily activities

leading up to Halloween,

such as a pumpkin painting contest.

Painting?

Why don't we just carve those puppies?

Because Ned, pumpkin

guts are gross.

They're stringy. They're slimy.

No.

But it's very visceral for me.

OK, please, Ned, we don't have time for your sensory obsession.

Touch your corduroys.

EMILY: Thank you, Pamela.

You're gonna be thrilled

to know that there

will be a Beastly Bake-Off.

Yes!

Haha!

Oh, my gosh, I could be Ghoulia Child.

With spooky sweaters.

And just how we do

a toy drive at Christmas,

we will be doing

a charity food drive.

But, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, to top it all off--

[clears throat]

Sorry.

OK, Jared really wanted

to do this part so go ahead.

Thank you so much, honey.

And to top it all off, on all Hallows' Eve--

October 31, Halloween.

--after the tricks have been played,

after the treats have been treated,

we will have a cul-de-sac

carnival costume competition.

So bring that

creativity to life.

Are there any rules to who we can or cannot impersonate?

No more foreign dignitaries.

We do not need

the FBI here again.

Yes, Ned.

Please keep all costumes within the parameters of HOA guidelines

and in accordance with state and federal laws.

Tricky, but not impossible.

In light of all this, we have something we'd like to propose.

That is if we

can invoke addendum

3 of the party protocol.

- Oh?

Well, invoke away, please.

I know you already have the food drive planned,

but every year, we do a big

spooky alley in our front yard.

We go all out to raise money for the Children's Hospital.

LUNA: As a young girl, I was treated there,

and they saved my life.

So we try to do everything

we can to give back.

That's amazing.

I mean, double the charity.

I love it.

I really-- wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait, wait.

How spooky are we talking?

Say, like a 5 or a 6 on the Nosferatu meter.

Well, we hit a 7.5 once.

No, no.

7.5?

But that was close to Y2K,

so all sorts of things

were happening.

- That won't happen again.

Ah, tut, tut, tut.

PAMELA: I know you're 7.5, OK?

I mean, it's--

[chatter]

I think we need to--

OK, I'm not opposed to it.

As long as we remember this is for the kids.

So we have to keep the scare

factor to a 5 or below.

- Yeah, of course.

- Of course.

Should we just take a vote?

Yes.

I think we have to.

I mean, it's part of the bylaws.

OK, then that settles it.

I'll pass out some ballots, and we

can decide if this neighborhood is

ready to come together to face our biggest

fears this Halloween.

I've already faced my greatest fear.

A hot yoga class taught by Ned.

It's free on Thursdays.

Oh, it might be free, but you will pay dearly.

Trust me.

Now, take me off your Mailchimp.

[upbeat music]

EMILY: Halloween is back, baby.

OK.

Who pumpkin spiced your latte?

I'm just so excited.

The vote was unanimous.

Everyone loved

my Halloween plans.

And then our new neighbors had this amazing idea to do

this outdoor spooky alley.

And it's gonna raise money for the Children's Hospital.

First lady

of Ever Scream Lane.

You're really taking charge, carving up the HOA handbook.

How's Jared doing with all this?

At first, it was really hard for him to transition

his mind to a new holiday.

Kind of like he's

cheating on Christmas.

Right.

But now that he's in it,

he's doubling down.

It's like Kevin and K-pop.

This is new.

I played one song for him one time.

He totally made fun of me.

The next day, it was

all he was listening to.

He's basically made it his whole personality.

Same thing with Jared.

He's been driving all the way to Provo to go to this tailor-made

costume store almost every day.

You are in it.

We are, but it is just

a lot to balance with work.

I feel like I'm kind of just going through the motions.

I mean, I'm doing a good

job, but it's just--

it's not fulfilling.

Welcome to most of America.

I think it's just, you know, the wedding, and the honeymoon.

It was so perfect.

I just want to relive it.

Well, the honeymoon

phase is great,

but the real joy of marriage is the journey that lies ahead.

I love that.

Speaking of, I have

to get that little journey

to piano lessons.

And you want to wrap up that book you're reading?

We gotta get going.

All done.

I finished the whole series, actually.

Do you have any more?

Oh, I didn't even

realize Jared had brought

that box down from the attic.

No, I only wrote the seven.

Seven?

How come I only knew about one?

After my agent didn't get any bites on the first one,

she dropped me like a T. Swift album.

Hmm.

It didn't really

make sense to continue.

NICOLE: I really like the different aliens.

Zolt is so funny.

Really?

What was your favorite part?

Probably when the hover

wagon was broken

and Zolt was the only

one who could

fix it because of the combo wrench his dad gave him.

Wow, you really did read it.

Yep.

let me know if you

write anymore.

Thanks, Nicole.

I will.

[eerie music]

Oh, cute costume.

Thank you.

You look adorable.

So cute.

You shall not pass!

Fly, you fools.

EMILY: Boo!

Wizard of Oz.

What are you-- what are you doing here?

I've been trying to ask you the same question,

but someone I know

doesn't answer their phone

for the last two hours.

- I'm sorry.

The store is a bit of a dead zone.

Didn't you see the sign?

Jared, that says undead zone.

It's just a clever sign

to sell zombie paraphernalia.

I love this store.

EMILY: Clearly.

You've been coming

here every day since we

jumped on this haunted hayride. - I just want to feel inspired.

You know, we have a-- we have a costume contest coming up.

No, no.

We're doing Phantom of the Opera.

We're singing the duet.

Yeah, um, I wanted

to talk to you about that.

Jared, you know

I don't do harmony.

What if I did

the contest alone?

Oh, OK.

Is that fine?

Yeah.

I mean, I--

I don't know what to say, but--

Honest reaction.

Go.

It's fine.

Of course, it's fine.

Yeah, we have been doing a lot

of stuff together lately,

and maybe--

maybe we should do

some things on our own.

OK.

So you're not annoyed?

I'm only annoyed that now I have

to figure out what I'm doing.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it's going to be epic.

Speaking of epic, we should discuss lawn display ASAP.

Now, what are you thinking?

Evil battling robots?

Zombie apocalypse?

No, no.

This is what I

wanted to tell you.

I think I have found the perfect thing.

[bell jiggling]

JARED: I'm confused.

I thought we were working

on the lawn display.

Look around.

What does this remind you of?

Mainly the fact that I

missed lunch, and I'm starving.

And I want to eat the entire store.

No, think about it.

The last Halloween with Grandma.

Hansel and Gretel.

The witch's gingerbread house.

What's more Halloween than Grimm's fairy tale?

And it's the perfect way to honor Grandma.

Let me get to work

on the blueprints immediately.

We don't have

time for blueprints.

Once we build

the witch's house,

it'll be the perfect hiding

spot for yard yelping.

- Jared. - Yes!

No.

I didn't think you

were into yard yelping.

I'm not.

I'm not.

But if I was, i would be like the Daniel Day-Lewis of it.

You know I hate

when people do that.

Ashlynn Ashworth still haunts

my dreams 20 years later.

I could see her in that

scarecrow makeup.

She's lurking about.

Oh, it's horrible.

Horrible.

Well, then why would you

vote to protect yard yelping

in the new HOA protocol?

Because like it or not,

it is a tradition.

And traditions are important.

But that's why I

added the regulation

to reduce the scare factor.

That way, Ever Scream Lane is a Halloween destination

for all, young and old.

So impressive.

I just really want

this to be next level.

And it's going to be.

Everyone can see it.

Thanks.

You know what, though, speaking of Ashlynn,

doesn't she host Wake Up Utah n Channel 6?

Yes.

Her mom and mine stayed friends after they moved.

She mentions it every

time she's on TV.

Do you think she could

put me in contact with her?

Maybe they could do a story about what

we're up to this year?

Sure, but aren't you guys like frenemies?

I mean, we were, but it was a long time ago.

And if it could help bring people to the carnival,

that would be great.

I mean, our neighborhood

isn't exactly known

as a Halloween destination.

So if we want to raise

some serious money

for Children's Hospital, I do think it's worth a try.

- I like where your head's at.

- Cheers.

Where's your stomach

at? 'Cause I'm starving.

Excuse me.

Can we get a dozen

pastries to go and one

of those German chocolate cookies

and oh, throw in two

honey boys and--

Excuse me.

Could I see this, please?

JARED: Ooh, eclair.

Two eclairs.

[music playing]

(SINGING) We don't have to worry

MARVIN: Careful, Bob.

I don't want to fall down.

He's a werewolf.

Why would he be

wearing a ball gown?

Let's zhuzh this guy up.

Careful. that

could be flammable.

Trust me, I know.

(SINGING) We don't have to worry

Jared, slow down!

NED: Looking good, Belinda.

BELINDA: Thanks, boo.

[tires screech]

Did you just

call Ned your boo?

No.

I-- I was just

trying to scare him.

Boo!

Did I scare you?

Right out of my socks, girl.

Hey, Jared, help me put the nails in my coffin?

Gladly.

[music playing]

[hammering]

Smile, you two.

Oh, what a couple

of handsomes you are.

[screams]

Oh my goodness.

Ah!

Oh, your thumb.

You need some ice on this.

Jared, a little help.

Yeah, I got you.

PAMELA: What do you

clowns think you're doing?

Ah, thank you.

Jared, it has been a real circus

around here with these guys.

I swear, one of them

is possessed.

You know, clowns freak a lot of people out, but not me.

I actually kind of like them.

Well, you are

braver than I am.

You know, I'm gonna try to get these guys set up over there.

I mean, you've been working out.

Could you get that big clown stood up?

Of course. Anything.

Of course, Pamela.

Sure.

Boo!

[groans]

[laughs]

You just got yard yelped hard.

You did, Jared.

You got me, Helen.

You got me good.

I thought you said

clowns didn't scare you.

Hope we didn't

scare you too bad.

Don't you ever apologize for a well-executed prank.

Jared is a big boy.

He can handle it.

That's right.

Oh, look.

Ned and Melinda are

trying to prank you, too.

PAMELA: Are you seeing

what I'm seeing?

Oh, God.

Jared?

Jared, are you OK?

HELEN: What's

happening to him, Mom?

PAMELA: I don't know, sweetie.

Just go inside.

Yes, dear.

Whatever.

Looking good, Belinda.

Thanks, boo.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, here.

Oh.

Is that better?

Yeah, that's better.

Jared, are you OK?

I see dead people.

PAMELA: Jared, don't do anything crazy.

[tense music]

Emily!

Emily!

Emily, where are you?

I'm in the kitchen.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no--

Is everything OK?

No, it's not OK.

We are, in fact, in a worst case scenario, scenario.

Did you get rejected from the Santa Academy?

What?

Did you hear something?

- No.

- It's worse than that.

- How is that even possible?

- It's Ned.

Did he steal

your devil sticks?

What? No.

Where are those, by the way?

- It's so odd.

Maybe they'll show up.

It's so bad, I don't want to even say it out loud.

OK.

Is he going through, like, a flat Earth phase again?

- It's worse than that.

- OK, you're killing me, Smalls.

Spit it out.

Ned is dating my mom.

Oh, no.

I don't care what he says.

I refuse to call him dad.

You might be getting ahead of yourself here.

You don't know how serious it is yet.

Whatever it was, it definitely was not in the friend zone.

Do they know that

you saw them flirting?

No, I'll never

say a word 'cause I

want erased from my memory.

Every time I close my eyes, I can just

see the way they were

looking at each other, just

focused and intense,

like there was

no one else in the cul-de-sac.

Well, it actually

sounds kind of sweet.

The man pours pickle

brine in his shredded wheat.

There's nothing sweet about him.

I have to tell Pamela not to tell anyone.

She saw too?

Is that bad?

- That's not good.

- Is she gonna tell everyone?

I mean, that tea's probably too hot for her not to spill.

We have to stop this.

I get that you're upset, but you gotta remember,

they're adults.

And Ned is Ned.

And maybe that's

what your mom wants.

Or maybe she's under a spell.

Didn't you say that he studied

hypnosis in-- in Vienna?

Jared, you have to talk to her.

Ask her how she's feeling.

She's obviously

worried, and that's

why she's hiding it from you.

So tell her it's safe for her

to talk to you about it.

Well, at this point, I don't know if it is.

Right. OK.

Why don't you just take a breath and go

work on the gingerbread house?

I'm sure there's some gumdrops

that need to be gummed

or some candy that needs to be caned.

What?

There's no candy canes at Halloween.

Jared, just eat your pie.

For you, I will.

Needs some sprinkles.

Hmm.

That looks good.

When did you do this?

I've been wrapped up with all this Ned nonsense,

I didn't even notice this.

What are you doing over here?

Jess was over here with Nicole the other day,

and she read all of those

books that you had

brought down from the attic.

And she really loved them.

And it just kind of inspired

me to pick it up again.

JARED: You totally should. EMILY: It's very casual.

Just the neighborhood had inspired an idea,

and I just, you know--

I just started sketching

some things out.

JARED: Sketch away, my love.

It looks great.

You're so talented.

Hmm, thank you.

I love you.

[cell phone buzzes]

- Oh.

Oh my goodness.

Ashlynn texted me back.

JARED: Oh, nice.

What'd she say?

The Channel 6 news is

coming to Ever Scream Lane.

What?

Yeah!

I'm gonna text the girls.

What happened there, Gram?

How'd you go all ski wampus on me again?

Yeah.

Everything's looking

really good around here.

And I'm writing again.

I mean, I'm not getting

too excited just

because of what

happened last time,

but I am having so much fun.

And that's enough for me right now.

Anyway, it's turning into the picture perfect holiday,

and it just feels like

everything's come full circle.

I only wish you

were here to see it.

Love you.

Good night.

I'm Ashlynn Ashworth

and welcome to Wake Up Utah.

We are here

on Evergreen Lane, or

should I say Ever Scream Lane?

A neighborhood that is

usually known for Christmas

has traded its cheer

for fear this spooky season.

When we come back, we will join them

as they kick off the

much-anticipated neighborhood

pumpkin painting contest, a tradition that has been

squashed for over 25 years.

I nailed that, right?

Hey, is it a bad time?

No, not at all.

We're on commercial.

It is great to see you, Emily.

Good to see you, too.

Thank you so much for coming.

- Ah, are you serious?

I had to see this for myself.

I still can't believe that you're behind all of this.

You used to live here.

You know how festive we get.

For Christmas, sure.

But ever since you got

so scared by my scarecrow prank,

this entire neighborhood turned into a ghost town

on Halloween, remember?

Oh, that is good.

Hey, write that down.

Oh, I remember.

And so does my therapist.

Trust me.

Come on.

It wasn't that bad.

I mean, your friend Jeremy was there,

and he didn't seem too scared.

- Jared.

- Who? - Me.

Jared Farnsworth.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I meet a lot of people.

No, it's OK.

I was with her the night that you yard yelped us.

Dressed as Hansel.

You know, we were in Ms.

Thorknock's homeroom together.

Super skinny legs.

Always wanted to play the MASH game with us.

Super nerdy.

- That's fun to hear.

Oh, yeah.

Big dorky glasses.

And he would always rig the MASH

game to end up with you.

I was like, hello.

Well, I guess he

got his wish 'cause we

got married last month.

That's amazing.

Seriously, congrats you two.

- Thank you.

And thank you so much for doing this segment.

It's really exciting.

As HOA president, we really appreciate the exposure,

you know, to-- to show how far we've come since we celebrated

Halloween on this level.

Of course.

Do you want me

to interview you two?

- No. - Yes.

I-- I just was thinking

we should keep it

about the neighbor, you know?

- Totally.

OK.

Well, we're about to be back, so I can

catch up with you guys later?

Yeah, girl, do your thing.

OK.

Uh, Ty, let's move.

Let's go get more coverage.

Do your thing, girl.

What was that? - I don't know.

I mean, I get around her, and I turn into plastic.

That is the least

of my concerns right now.

I mean, look, Ned is

at the table with my mom.

They're on a team.

Relax.

How am I supposed to relax?

It's Ned.

And how do you feel about the Halloween traditions

coming back to life?

It's simply gourd-geous.

Did you see what I did there?

Gourd.

Gourd-geous.

That is a good one.

Did you just come up with that?

That's been ripening on the vine for years.

Don't make me put you down for a nap, Bob.

When you're known for only Christmas,

you don't have the opportunity

to show your range.

Mm.

Most people know that I have a doctorate in arts and crafts.

Oh.

But what they don't know

is that I did a study abroad

in the Atacama region of Northern Chile, which

is the pumpkin capital

of South America.

Basically, I have forgotten

more about these babies

than most people will learn in a lifetime.

I am about to pH

destroy the competition,

if you know what I mean.

Do you know what I mean?

I think I do.

How would you describe

your neighbors?

Intense in a good way.

Like Benedict from

Much Ado About Nothing.

I'd say a little more like Katherine

from Taming of the Shrew.

MARVIN: She's more

like Rosalind.

LUNA: Well, no, I mean, I know you love your Rosalind.

Might as well

talk about Tartuffe.

I'm excited to use the pointillism

technique my mom taught me.

I think it really captures the essence of the holiday

without being too on the nose.

I've gone for more of a cubist approach,

using shapes to really

represent the surreal nature

of what Halloween represents.

EMILY: Look at those

couple goals.

Adorable.

I can't even enjoy this right now.

Far too upset.

Honey, I want you to try to stay calm.

Like the wise.

Like the wise.

That's something you only say under extreme duress.

Deep breaths.

PAMELA: Ty, for this

one, I'd love

to get a nice in-camera zoom.

As you can see, not everyone dressed

up for the painting contest.

I guess some of us just care more.

Now, Ty, go wide.

Go wide.

BOTH: Paint with us.

NED: Fun fact.

The first Jack-o-Lanterns were made from turnips.

Or large potatoes.

It stemmed from the Celtic Samhain festival in Ireland.

Which some people pronounce "Sawen."

NED: Yeah.

They were believed to ward off evil spirits lurking about.

But today, there's a much more jocular meaning to it,

and dare I say, romantic.

Oh, romantic.

In what way?

Take our pumpkins,

for example.

ASHLYNN: Oh, Romeo and Juliet.

NED: Correct.

We are nearing noontide, so the lighting is not

correct for this, but could you imagine what this street

would look like at night?

And with these pumpkins carved and lit as they should have been

done come eventide, these star

crossed lovers will surely

light up the autumnal sky.

Oh, dear.

Edgar James Brodhead, step away from my mama.

I most certainly will not.

Jared, sweetie, you know what?

Let's just take a minute

and talk about this.

That's a great idea, Belinda.

You know what?

Why don't we turn off

the cameras for a second,

and we can discuss this?

How long has

this been going on?

Well, I can't

speak for the lady.

But as for me, two

Christmases ago, the night

you first took the throne

in Santa's Village.

Betrayed,

and in my own kingdom.

I will not allow you

to defame the Farnsworth name

with your unwelcomed advances.

They are more than welcome.

Thank you very much.

Is that true?

Truer than true north.

More absolute than

absolute zero.

[music playing]

Oh.

[clapping]

There you have it, folks.

True love right here on live TV.

[screams]

[gasping]

And just like that, HOA President Jared Farnsworth

smashes a Jack-o-Lantern

of love,

begging the question, should this neighborhood actually

be called Ever Mean Lane?

That's enough, Ashlynn.

Back to you, Ted.

Back to you, Ted.

As a childhood

resident of the lane,

I know from experience

how firm of a grip

the homeowner's association

has on its residents.

The intensity is simply too much for some, including my parents.

When asked, HOA President

Jared Farnsworth

refused to make

a statement, but his actions

spoke much more than words.

[screams]

Many Utahns would dream

of living on Evergreen Lane,

but today, felt more like a nightmare on Elm Street.

Oh, come on.

That's just yellow journalism.

ASHYLYNN (ON TV): With a reputation like that,

I have a feeling

the surrounding communities will

be frightened away from the rest of the activities

this Halloween.

Turn it off.

ASHYLYNN (ON TV): I'm Ashlynn

Ashworth, and this is--

Thank you for letting

us use your house

as a neutral holding zone

while the deliberation occurs.

So sorry you had to see that.

I thought it was kind of exciting, actually.

Ned Brodhead is dating my mother.

Do you understand the implications

behind that type of betrayal?

And you expect me to be concerned

with anything else right now?

I mean, I don't left

from right, up from down.

I don't know

diagonals right now.

I mean, the man who lived

next door to me, my best man.

And the woman that gave birth to me.

She gave birth to me.

And I don't know what's happening right now.

I'm so confused.

Let's just put a hold

on the existential crisis

until we hear what it is you have to do to make this right.

And I just hope

they don't strip you

of your presidential powers.

They can do that?

It's in the hands

of the Triumvirate of Truth.

Is it from Star Wars?

Oh, don't let

the name fool you.

It's just Mary

Louise, Pam and Bob.

They meet at Swigalicious

& Sugarhouse.

Don't belittle the system.

These are time-proven

protocols, emergency measures

to bring balance to the bylaws.

Star Wars.

Who can forget

the great Hayfield-McAvoy

debate of '91 when a power grid dispute

almost canceled Christmas.

But lo, two humble HOA members

stepped into the breach

and created the Magna Carta of merriment.

Are you saying all of this

because you and I invented it?

ALBERT: Can't I just be proud of our work?

GAIL: Yes, but you don't make us sound humble.

Humble. Shmumble.

That's not a nice accusation.

GAIL: Can we please make a good impression on the new neighbors?

Honey, do you think

you'll ever forgive me?

It's not my forgiveness

you need right now.

[doorbell rings]

[music playing]

[slurping]

The Triumvirate of Truth has reached a decision.

Do what must be done.

PAMELA: Jared

Farnsworth, you have

been charged with destruction

of personal property

and projecting a pumpkin in a pedestrian perimeter.

Not only did this impact

the cleanliness of our curbs,

but it brought negative news coverage to the neighborhood,

which in turn plummeted the projected property

values by approximately 3%.

Hold my soda.

We know Ned to be neurotic,

and now is known to be

necking with your next of kin.

However, we have reviewed

the reasoning for your revolt,

and although we find

the target of your treason

to be tyrannical, it cannot be tolerated.

In order to be forgiven, you must fulfill the following.

I don't read

cursive very well.

I'm sorry, Bob, I

don't know hieroglyphics.

I'll paraphrase.

Your powers will be temporarily suspended and given to Emily

until you make things right.

Emotions are running really high right now,

and we think you need to sit down with Ned

and talk it over, man to man.

PAMELA: You ruined it, Bob.

You took away all

of my alliteration and flair.

I got you, girl.

Basically, you better buy the old buck a beer.

I accept

the Triumvirate's decision.

I-- I'm sorry.

Hold on.

Look, I'm all for you making good with Ned.

I mean, you can go out on your mandate.

You can bro it up all you want.

But as your interim president, I have a mandate of my own.

Anything.

Before you go

out with your bro,

I think Belinda deserves a one-on-one conversation

of her own, don't you?

I concur, Madam President.

Thank you.

I'm so embarrassed.

We had so much soda.

I can't believe that we never thought of her.

I blame the firm psychological

grip of the patriarchy.

My bad.

PAMELA: It's OK.

I've got my traveling quill.

All right.

I'll just add this to the bottom

of the parchment, OK?

Bend.

Do not tell book club about this.

Hmm.

Yum.

[gentle music]

Pink meringue?

Oh, yes.

Thank you.

They look delicious.

You know, you

didn't have to spring

for the Queen Victoria package.

I know, but I wanted to.

I know you've always wanted to have tea with a daughter,

but there are no rules

about having it with a son.

I appreciate it.

But it's me.

We-- we can just talk.

OK.

And I will start by apologizing.

Emily reminded me that we're all adults here,

and I sure wasn't acting like one.

Neither did I. I

could have told you.

I should have told you when I first started catching feelings.

But it took me a while

to realize what was happening.

So, are-- are you

and Ned like an item?

I don't know how

to define it exactly,

but according to Mary

Louise, the kids

would say we're talking.

Talking?

What does that-- first of all,

how does an 80-year-old

woman know what the lingo is?

Mom, the real question is, are--

are you happy?

I find myself

smiling every day.

That Ned is a real rizzler.

Hmm.

Rizzler?

BELINDA: Mm-hmm.

Love that for you.

I think.

Your father's been

gone for so long that I--

I kind of forgot what it felt like to be seen in that way.

And I never expected

to feel that way about Ned.

But something about him has changed.

And I love the way his eyes light up when he sees me

or when he listens to me talk.

And I know he's one tall glass of some self-distilled spirit,

but he gets me.

And oh, when he kisses me--

Oh, you can stop there.

I get the picture.

Oh, boy.

I think it just

caught me by surprise.

You know, I--

Ned and I haven't always gotten along.

And he's the strangest

man I've ever met.

But you know I love the guy.

I know you do.

And honestly, it's still early with us.

I don't know what's

gonna happen,

but it means so much to me to know that I have your support.

Absolutely.

I love you, son.

I love you, too.

But if you call Ned

the rizzler ever again,

I'm gonna change my mind.

So when did you first know?

Christmas Eve,

the year Emily came back.

Your mother joined me outside for a mug of hot bourbon cider.

It was so dark.

I could just see

the moon on her hair.

And we started talking about our favorite stars.

You know, I could not

narrow it down to one star,

but I do have a favorite nebula.

Of course, 'cause everyone knows that.

So, I was born--

May 1.

Yes, which makes me a--

Please land your plane.

A Taurus.

Taurus.

Boo.

Which means my favorite is going to be the Crab Nebula,

otherwise known as NGC 1952.

Sure.

Every-- everyone knows that.

Yes, but what I didn't know was your mother's

favorite star is Astraea.

North Star.

You didn't know that at all.

I literally named the only

star I could think of.

It's OK.

Not all of us are astrophiles.

But those of us who are know that it is located

in the constellation of Taurus.

And then your mother tells me that Astraea is really

a very famous Greek nymph.

How about I stop you right there.

[whistles]

It's gonna be enough

mythology for one evening.

No, really, you should Google the story and read it later.

It's a scorcher.

I promise you, I will not.

OK.

But do you want

to ask you a favor.

Yes, sir.

First, never use nymph and

my mother in the same sentence

ever again.

That's a big ask.

I'm asking.

I'm gonna try.

Try really, really hard.

Yes, sir.

Also, please treat her well, and please be honest with her.

I swear on the stars.

And you watch out

for yourself too, Brodhead.

You hear me?

- OK.

If she breaks your heart, don't come crying to me.

The game of love is

high risk, high reward.

I know what I'm playing.

I swear.

To risking it all.

[clink]

Do you want to play some pool?

I'll play billiards.

You can call it whatever you want.

You're going down, Brodhead.

Yeah, sure.

[pleasant music]

Hey, babe.

What are you still doing up?

I had an idea, and it just keeps flowing.

I couldn't sleep.

How'd it go with Ned and Belinda?

[romantic music]

Oh, that good, huh?

Not my weeds.

Not my garden.

Well said.

I'm about to head to bed.

But should I wait up for you?

No, I'm almost done here.

I was hoping maybe we could snuggle and watch a movie.

I think I can

make that happen.

[laughs] Do not drop me, please.

Why would I drop you?

What are you talking about?

So by watch a movie, do you mean start a movie

and then in 15 minutes,

you'll be asleep in my arms?

Yeah, but first, we could flirt a little,

you know, laugh

and cuddle while we

try to find something to watch.

That actually sounds amazing.

Mm.

It's my favorite thing in the whole world.

You know, the more I think

about the Ashlynn situation, I--

the more I feel like

maybe I should reach out

and just try and clear the air.

It was me who embarrassed himself on regional TV.

No, honey, I'm not

talking about pumpkin gate.

Oh.

Something she said on the broadcast.

Like, maybe her family felt like they were

pushed out of the neighborhood.

I mean, I know I can't change anything, but I--

I just would really love to extend a peace offering,

you know?

I mean, we're adults.

We shouldn't be--

shouldn't have this, like,

weirdness from

our childhood between us.

If that's the way

you feel, I think you

should definitely reach out.

Thanks, honey.

Mm-hmm.

Isn't it so nice

to have someone you can

say anything to at any time?

That is the best definition of marriage I've ever heard.

Hey, thanks so much

for agreeing to meet me.

Oh, of course.

I'm sorry I don't have more time.

I have just been

so busy with the tapings

and keeping up

with my followers.

I've recorded seven cameos this week.

Oh my goodness.

I'm gonna make it quick.

I, um--

Don't worry about Michaela.

She has heard it all.

She is a vault.

I just wanted to apologize for when we were younger.

I was the one that scared you, remember?

I know, but what I

really mean is after that.

I know the neighbors went into overdrive trying to protect me

after my grandmother passed and after the whole scarecrow thing.

And I just really hope that's not the reason your family

decided to move away.

And after you moved, I

thought you were angry at me.

I really did.

I thought you were mad.

And I should have talked to you about it right then and there.

And instead, I put up this wall.

And it wasn't because I

didn't like you.

It was actually

quite the opposite.

Come on, Emily.

You nickname me Shlynn Shady.

And that was totally unfair.

I mean, how were you

supposed to know that I was

gonna ask Buzz Okie to Sadie's?

Everyone wanted to ask Buzz.

Ah, blue eyed Buzz.

The truth is you were so cool and popular,

and I just loved what you did with the school announcements.

You never told me that.

EMILY: Well, I should have.

They were clever and funny, and everyone loved them.

And I mean, look.

Look where you are now.

Secretly, I kind of always wanted to volunteer to write

the copy for the teleprompter. - Why didn't you say anything?

I just never had the courage.

And I was embarrassed about how things ended

between us when you moved.

I just want to say I'm sorry that I let

my own insecurities come between what could have

been a really cool friendship.

MAN (ON INTERCOM): We need Ashlynn in Studio C, ASAP.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I have to run.

- It's OK.

Talk later?

Yeah, of course.

Go, go, go.

Thank you.

Great.

Oh, here's a headshot for free.

Oh, thank you.

I'll see you soon.

That went well.

WOMAN: I can't

believe you confronted

the great and powerful Ashlynn.

It's been bugging

me for years.

It felt so good to get

it off my chest.

I mean, she didn't give me much of a reaction, but that's OK.

It was worth it.

I gotta say, I'm proud of you on so many levels.

Oh, thank you.

Also, I think you're really on to something this year.

Those spider doodles

look amazing.

They taste great too.

I had three of them

when Mom wasn't looking.

Nicole Marie, you're

gonna make yourself sick.

Come on, it's Halloween. Isn't that the point?

Well, fine.

At least give me a bite, then.

Mm, those are amazing.

Thank you.

I'm so glad.

But save some room

for Pamela's, 'cause you know,

she is a shoo-in to win the contest.

No secret there. - I don't know.

I'm pretty much of a cookie

expert at this point.

I think you have a chance.

Thanks.

I mean, we'll see.

I just do feel like the creative

juices have been flowing,

you know, since I

started writing again.

I don't know.

Maybe some of that energy has been absorbed into the baking

as well. - Hmm.

I was gonna say there's

something different about you.

I thought it was the honeymoon glow,

but got a little spark in ya.

I didn't realize how much I missed writing, you know?

Like, I've forgotten about

the joy it brings me.

I think I thought copywriting was enough, but maybe it's not.

Well, now you know.

At least you're back

to doing something you love.

Yeah, exactly.

And even if it doesn't turn into something I do for money,

at least I know it's

important to me.

It's exactly how I feel about The Real Housewives

of Salt Lake City.

Oh, I wish they'd bring Monica back.

Right?

She's the best part.

I was more intrigued by Jen's storyline.

I said I was a good

mom, not a perfect mom.

EMILY: I hope it's OK

that we're a little late.

- I'll get it set up.

- Thanks.

Oh, thank you

so much for hosting.

Belinda was a little preoccupied this week,

if you know what I mean.

Are you kidding?

This is our idea

of a house-warming party.

More like heartwarming.

Seriously, we have

lived in a lot of places

and never really felt

like we fit in until now.

Aw.

Well, I think if we

looked into the cauldron,

we would see a lifetime

of friendship ahead for us.

Look at our little angel, all caught up in festive spirit.

True I've never seen her so happy.

But our angel

still can't compete

with our devil fruit cake.

Mm, Albert, you little demon, you.

Come on, come on.

Just let me have

just a little taste.

Bob, not Yeti.

Oh, I have never been so in love.

Well, if you're so in love,

go get me a drink.

I can't believe you would take pallesthesia over echolocation.

I mean, have you lost your prefrontal cortex?

See, there you go again.

Trying to confuse me with your technical jargon.

I'm just saying, money aside, I would rather be

Peter Parker than Bruce Wayne.

You are so wrong.

I'm not wrong.

Oh, Luna.

Wow.

The detail of your piping

is amazing.

I applaud your efforts.

I-- I really do.

And this is your first

cookie competition, is it?

Yep.

And I guess we'll have to see if a win is to be or not to be.

Oh, never heard that one before.

Either way, we're really hoping we

can at least turn a few heads.

Oh, well, how very optimistic of you.

But alas, poor Yorick,

once the judges

take a bite of my chocolate

chip chupacabras,

you're gonna be heading home with a participation

ribbon pinned on your festive

little sweater.

Hmm-mm.

And that is what we call

pre-game intimidation, Helen.

Take notes.

Shoot, they're pretty good.

OK, come on.

BELINDA: Are we ready?

[cheering]

Welcome to the first Beastly Bake-Off in more than 20 years.

We had a wickedly hard time judging the entries this year.

And I'm a little scared to announce the winner.

You should be

scared, lover girl,

'cause if I smell any Neddy boy nepotism, I will go nuclear.

I can assure you that outside of this year's amazing entries,

there has been no home cooking

in the selection process.

Unlike Christmas rules, there

is only one winner today,

no second or third place.

That's right.

Only room for one creature

in this cavern, baby.

BELINDA: OK, here we go.

And the winner is--

For her cinnamon spider doodles, Emily Farnsworth!

[cheering]

[gasps]

PAMELA: There's no such thing as "croo-lers."

MARY LOUISE: Pam.

Pamela.

No, no.

Pamela. Pamela.

Pamela.

Darling.

Pamela, it's me.

It's Mary Louise.

Oh, Mary Louise, it's you.

Mm-hmm.

Bob, it's you too.

Oh, you guys.

I just-- I just had

the most horrible dream.

Oh, there were cookies

and-- and a witch.

And-- and you were there.

And-- and Belinda, you were there.

Oh, and Jared, you were there, too.

And-- and so were--

you.

Easy.

Mm.

Easy.

We've already performed

the awards audit.

I can confidently confirm

that there was no tomfoolery.

She won fair and square.

But I-- you know, and she can't--

I mean, how could she?

She's never been able

to cook anything in her life.

Pamela, if I had known how much this was gonna upset you

or how you were

gonna to react, I--

I would have just given

up and let you win.

PAMELA: You and me both.

Where's my Helen?

She's in her room

FaceTiming with her dad.

Thank you.

Sure.

Well, I don't know if it's the head injury or not,

but I want to apologize

to all of you.

Every year, I get so obsessed

with winning that I

let it become my identity.

But as I look around

and see all of your faces,

I realize that I've already won because I

live on Evergreen Lane,

and there's no place like home.

Aw.

Uh, guys, I'm

so sorry to interrupt

this very sweet moment.

Then don't.

But I have news.

It looks like Channel 6 wants to come out and live stream

the carnival, spooky

alley and all.

Looks like we better haul out the Halloween.

Yes!

Yay!

OK, everyone, everyone.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for coming

on such short notice.

An opportunity has presented itself,

and I just had to share and bring it to a vote.

I got a text from Ashlynn Ashworth at Channel 6,

and it looks like they want to come back to the lane.

What about that smear piece she did about us?

It wasn't exactly a smear.

Jared did go full Billy Corgan on those pumpkins.

Yes, he did.

And I'm taking full

responsibility for my actions.

EMILY: Apparently, it was great for ratings for the network,

and they want to come back and cover the carnival and

the spooky alley.

I think this could take our fundraiser to the next level.

I think we should do it, guys.

They've lived here like, five minutes.

I'm just saying, you know, it's fundraising.

You know, it's

for the kids, but you know,

it's still seems really fishy to me.

I smell a conspiracy.

PAMELA: Can't risk any more bad press.

Guys, guys, guys, come on.

It's time to help a pres out.

Listen, when I had to relinquish

my powers to my better half,

I realized something.

I realized that serving this community, it's a privilege.

And I let my anger get the best of me.

And I was a very poor example of how a leader should be.

Luckily, you guys

cared about me enough

to give me a second chance.

Now, it's our chance to come together as a community and

a neighborhood

and celebrate in front

of the entire state of Utah.

And a few select counties

in Idaho, Wyoming, and Nevada,

depending on local TV markets.

Yes, Ned.

Not important, but sure.

Yeah.

The point is, it's time we back up our humble president,

and we show everyone what Halloween means to us.

What do you say?

Are you in?

Yeah, I'm in.

Ever Scream on three.

1, 2, 3--

ALL: Ever Scream!

[music playing]

(SINGING) I believe in--

Oh.

Hey, do you ever bob for apples?

Oh, you better believe it.

Oh, well, we're on.

Here we go.

(SINGING) But I keep on going

I can't afford to look back down

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Is that why they call it bobbing for apples?

Leave him alone.

It'll keep him

busy till nap time.

Smart.

Inflatables are not scary and if they get unplugged,

it's just [blows raspberries] I mean, the illusion is ruined.

The idea is for the kids

to have a good time,

not sending home with night terrors.

Look at this.

This is horrifying.

Hey, OK.

We're gonna nix her and also the animatronic Chucky doll.

But I'm keeping

the homemade Babadook.

- Oh, keep the Babadook.

- Babadook.

Guys, I'm a little worried about the costume contest.

We don't have many sign-ups. I mean, my parents are given.

Jared said he's

preparing something.

Other than that, it is slow, and I'm

just worried we won't have

a lot of foot traffic,

you know, for the spooky alley.

I just hope

the rumors aren't true.

What rumors?

Well, I don't like to gossip.

Says the woman who invented the Avril Lavigne conspiracy.

Oh, I have my reasons.

And quite compelling evidence, I might add.

Thank you.

I don't care about that.

Belinda, tell me what you heard.

Please, spill it.

Honey, you've gotta go listen.

I want to know what

they've been talking about.

- I'm scared.

- We've been gone for months.

I don't care if you're scared.

Grab a couple cans--

BELINDA: All right.

Well, you; know Mary Louise's hairdresser, Brittany Bateman?

Girl can frost a top, and that's no rumor.

Apparently, her

sister-in-law, Heidi Burch,

works out at Train Insane when none

other than Ashlynn Ashworth.

She said they're only covering the spooky alley for clickbait.

What?

Oh, I don't understand.

She's hoping it's gonna be a train

wreck like the pumpkin contest.

What do you got?

I got nothing.

And after what she posted about Pamela

from the Beastly Bake-Off.

How do you suppose she heard about that, do you reckon?

I kept in touch with her mother.

I didn't know the phone call was on the record.

There was always something

strange about Ashlynn.

Didn't you tell me that when

you were in high school,

they called her Shlynn Shady?

Yes, technically.

But that was kind

of my fault. I don't think

she has an ulterior motive.

- Oh, really?

You don't think she does? BELINDA: Oh, I hope so.

But you know, after that

first news piece went viral,

it doesn't look like

the rest of the neighborhood

is so confident.

Rumor or not, we can't let this thing fail.

It's for charity now, and we're

gonna prove everyone wrong.

Yes.

You know Marvin and I are all in.

Thank you.

I don't doubt it.

And you can put

Bob and I down, too.

Yeah, we've been cooking up something that's electrifying.

Really?

What is that?

You can put down DJ Frankenstein--

Not another word, Mary Louise.

I do not want any spoilers.

That's exactly what Jared said.

He's not doing

something with you?

No, he insisted

on doing something solo.

What about you guys?

Ned asked me

to join up with him.

Really?

What are you going as?

I'd tell you, but he

made me sign an airtight

non-disclosure agreement.

I will say the stakes are very high with this one.

What does airtight mean to you, exactly?

EMILY: And what about you, Pamela?

Don't ask.

You know that Helen and I are ride or die.

I wasn't asking you to tag along.

I have something very

special up my sleeve anyway.

Well, I hope that it's spooky, because we've

got something that's gonna push that Nosferatu meter

to a high 5.

Ah!

Haha, yeah!

Uh, yeah, touchdown, Bob.

Now, empty those tubs

because they're contaminated.

You're a lucky

lady, Mary Louise.

[spooky music]

EMILY: I don't know why that keeps happening to you, Gram.

You trying to tell me something?

I don't know what

the stress levels are

like on the other side

there, but let me tell you,

they are getting pretty

high around here.

I'm just trying to balance it all,

you know, Jared, and the HOA and my work and all the activities.

And I really just want

to make you proud.

She is proud.

Are you sure about that?

Yeah.

The whole neighborhood

is, especially me.

Oh, honey.

I'm proud of you, too.

Even after

my near impeachment?

OK, so it wasn't exactly your brightest moment,

but it did show me how much you care about your mom.

And I love that about you.

And I love

everything about you.

I gotta tell you.

There was this moment at the bake-off when they announced

my name as the winner.

Mm-hmm.

It was the first time I had heard someone else say

it out loud, Emily Farnsworth.

I just had this surge

of joy and love,

and it just filled my heart

from bottom to top.

That is, of course, until it was totally ruined when Pamela

face planted into the ground.

But for a moment, it was perfect.

I'm so proud to be married to you.

Thank you for saying that.

I needed to hear that.

I think I was

really good at being

your boyfriend, your fiance.

And feel like I'm dropping the ball a little as your husband.

Oh, honey, come on.

Marriage, this is new for both of us.

I mean, there's no shame

in needing practice.

Yeah.

I think if we're willing to be honest about what's

going on inside, the good,

the bad, the ugly,

I think we'll be just fine.

Yeah, I think so too.

I am a little worried about

all these rumors that are going

around about Ashlynn Ashworth.

I just-- I don't even know what to believe anymore.

Even if they

are true, so what?

This entire neighborhood

is pulling together.

And if she thinks that we're gonna fall apart on live TV,

she's dead wrong.

You're absolutely right.

This neighborhood is so special.

And if people don't

get it, that's on them.

You know what?

I'm gonna stay up and work on my book a little bit.

OK.

You don't have to wait up.

Take all the time you

need 'cause I am planning

a little surprise for us.

[gentle music]

Are you a good

witch or a bad witch?

I was gonna ask

you the same thing.

Why?

I'm clearly Glinda the good.

I know. Sorry.

I don't know why I said that.

You look cute, but what's

with the headset?

Well, somebody's

gotta run the show, so--

l get that.

I'm excited Where's

your husband?

Oh, he's been

out running errands

for the carnival all day.

I think he's waiting for the big reveal.

He doesn't want anyone

to see his costume

till the last minute.

I'll make sure

the cameras are rolling.

OK, yeah.

I should probably go.

All right, thanks.

Ty, let's get B-roll.

What do they say?

Wickedness was never happiness.

But this outfit begs to differ.

You look amazing.

Thank you.

Where is your costume.

I told you, it's a surprise.

OK, well, you better hurry up.

I can't be seen with a Halloween humbug.

I would not dream of it.

I don't know what to think.

I just can't tell

if she's up to no good.

It doesn't matter.

Look at this cul-de-sac.

You're literally

surrounded by loved ones.

You got this.

There you go.

Gotta go.

Look who's coming up.

(SINGING) Ghosts goblins

MARY LOUISE: Look who's coming.

Oh, yeah.

(SINGING) --when you think they aren't there

BOTH: Hello!

Happy Halloween.

(SINGING) Playing tricks--

See you later.

Happy Halloween.

LUNA: Happy Halloween.

Ah, good morrow to you.

What are you?

30?

No, out of here.

Out.

You did my taxes last year.

You can't trick or treat.

You're too old.

[french] I'm afraid of the dinosaur.

What are you?

Mon dieu.

And don't come back.

I hope it picks up.

I'm not worried.

You think it has anything

to do with pretty

pink princess over there?

I mean, I hope not.

Oh, yeah, I see how it is.

You don't show up

for Helen's harp recital,

but you make it

to the Halloween party.

Sorry, sis.

You know I can't pass up a good

old-fashioned fright fest.

It is a full moon, but keep the scares to a minimum.

Emily will have you

removed from the premises.

It's true.

I'm more Teen Wolf than full blown Lycan.

What--

Lycan is nerdy little

brother speak for werewolf.

The lore is very important to me,

especially at this time of year.

Do you accept cashier's checks?

Oh, sure.

I don't see why not.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

These are great, by the way.

Yeah.

All right, scare you guys later.

Bucky, this isn't Costco.

Those aren't free samples.

No, no, no.

Let him have it.

Like it or not,

the man is generous.

[WILLIE DIXON, "I AIN'T

SUPERSTITIOUS"]

Well, I ain't superstitious

But a black cat crossed my trail

Well, I ain't superstitious--

Sister.

Who dares receive it other

as we shall make our griefs and

clamor roar upon this death?

And now, straight from Transylvania,

some dark magic from Dracula.

I want to blow your mind.

Ah, haha!

False face must hide what the false heart doth know.

Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.

I hope I haven't made a mistake.

[smoke puffs]

Ah.

Oh!

You are like me now, my love.

Ho, ho, ho.

All right, everybody, let's give it up for DJ Frankenstein

and his boo thang.

[cheering]

[music playing]

(SINGING) If you're

looking at our costumes

And you're feeling kind of jelly

I'll tell you a story by the Lady Mary Shelley

(SINGING) This tale is guaranteed to send

a shiver down your spine

It's about the one

and only Dr. Frankenstein

(SINGING) He ignored his friends at school

and didn't listen to his teachers

He went around his lab just

to work on his creature

(SINGING) It took a bolt of lightning

to bring the thing to life

And then when he was done

He started working on his wife

Doctor what?

(SINGING) Doctor, doctor

Dr. Frankenstein.

- (SINGING) Doctor who?

(SINGING) Doctor, doctor

Dr. Frankenstein

[cheering]

EMILY: Hey.

Hey.

I-- I should have said this earlier, but I just wanted

to thank you for your kindness.

It meant a lot

to Jared and all of us,

really, that you were willing to give us a second chance.

Please, don't mention it.

And I want to give

you something.

It's-- it's not totally finished.

It's the dummy.

But in the spirit of Ever Scream Lane,

it's about a little

scarecrow who

loves the tricks of Halloween and

a witch who loves the treats.

And, well, they figure

out that they can

both have a Happy Halloween.

It's so cute.

Oh, look.

It's us.

Who did this?

Oh, I did it.

Yeah, I-- I did it.

I-- you know, this whole season has been full of ups and downs,

but it's really inspired me to get back to doing what I love.

And you were a huge

part of that.

I don't understand.

You've just always

known what you've wanted,

and you've gone for it.

And I truly admire that.

And I may have gotten a little sidetracked,

but I realized I gotta get back to doing what I love,

which is writing books.

Well, thank you for this.

And thank you for what you said when you visited the studio.

It really helped me put

everything into perspective.

I could have been a lot nicer to you as well.

Maybe now we can start over?

I'd really like that.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'd really like that.

And just a heads-up, you

might want to send some more

volunteers to the ticket booth.

- Oh, really?

ASHLYNN: I've been sharing

the fun on my stories,

and the word is really spreading.

You're about to have a lot

more visitors headed your way.

Oh, thank you.

We're ready for them.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our special guest,

Nickelback on Elm Street.

BOTH: I love Nickelback.

[cheering]

Give it up for the lead singer, Chaddy Kroeger.

[guitar strums]

I realized when I was picking out

this Chaddy Kroeger outfit,

that was the old Jared thinking.

Now, I'm thinking as your husband.

What I really wanted was something for-- for us.

That's what this is.

What is this?

Step into my lair.

[spooky music]

BELINDA: Oh, oh.

Oh, look at their costumes.

Could they be more adorable?

BELINDA: No.

Someone surprised me with

a couple's costume, after all.

I like this so much,

I'm not gonna take it off.

I don't think I could take these off if I wanted to.

Pamela sewed my shirt

into my pants.

Thanks again for making

the fundraiser happen, guys.

They are still

counting donations,

but we have already earned double what we did last year.

We should get some mead.

MARVIN: By the way, a courier

dropped this off today.

You were busy with your tape measure,

so I told him I

would give it to you.

OK, thanks.

What's this?

It's velvet.

I got in.

We're going to Norway!

[cheering]

That is if my wife and I agree after an in-depth discussion.

There you go.

ALBERT: Good save.

Santa Academy!

Yes!

Hey, but tonight's not about Santa.

And we may only have

a few hours left

to celebrate before Christmas takes over so what do you say

we give Halloween all we got?

Happy Halloween.

ALL: Happy Halloween!

LUNA: Halloween is cool.

PAMELA: All right, Ned, I'll have some.

EMILY (VOICEOVER): And thus,

began a new chapter

in the story of Evergreen Lane.

We became the annual go

to place for trick or treating.

And the spooky alley

fundraiser was a huge success.

In order to keep the peace,

we let Pamela and

Helen win the costume contest.

The excitement of my new

children's book,

along with Jared's loving support,

gave me the confidence

to quit my job

and pursue writing full-time.

I know what Gram-Gram was trying to tell me.

The true spirit of Halloween is about remembering the ones you

love and having fun in creating memories

with those that are still here.

If you can remember

that and pass

the tradition

on to the next generation,

that spirit will never truly die.

(SINGING) La, la, la, la, la

[spooky music]