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1
00:00:00,578 --> 00:00:04,281
♪♪
2
00:00:04,388 --> 00:00:07,589
♪ I program my home computer ♪
3
00:00:08,477 --> 00:00:10,406
♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪
4
00:00:10,503 --> 00:00:13,596
Power has
always been a deadly narcotic,
5
00:00:13,695 --> 00:00:15,532
and in 1989,
6
00:00:15,632 --> 00:00:18,569
RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL
7
00:00:18,662 --> 00:00:20,923
was my drug of choice.
8
00:00:21,893 --> 00:00:23,774
With an Intel 8086
9
00:00:23,842 --> 00:00:25,415
running at eight megahertz
10
00:00:25,518 --> 00:00:28,016
and a five-and-a-quarter-inch
floppy drive,
11
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:29,118
there was nothing
12
00:00:29,186 --> 00:00:30,360
I couldn't do.
13
00:00:30,540 --> 00:00:32,237
From adding snazzy graphics
14
00:00:32,313 --> 00:00:33,712
to my homework...
15
00:00:33,956 --> 00:00:35,612
So snazzy.
16
00:00:36,167 --> 00:00:37,486
To easily alphabetizing
17
00:00:37,563 --> 00:00:40,522
my list of enemies
and their crimes.
18
00:00:42,241 --> 00:00:43,660
So easy.
19
00:00:44,872 --> 00:00:46,599
Sheldon, time to go.
20
00:00:46,791 --> 00:00:48,638
We really need
to get one of these.
21
00:00:48,706 --> 00:00:50,742
What on earth do we need
a computer for?
22
00:00:50,853 --> 00:00:52,904
Yeah, we got you
and your big head.
23
00:00:52,972 --> 00:00:54,997
But we can get
so much accomplished.
24
00:00:55,065 --> 00:00:56,432
I could use
a spreadsheet program
25
00:00:56,518 --> 00:00:58,091
to keep track of your expenses.
26
00:00:58,178 --> 00:00:59,763
I do that in the back
of my checkbook.
27
00:00:59,831 --> 00:01:03,013
Yes, but does your checkbook
go "beep" when you open it?
28
00:01:03,412 --> 00:01:04,640
I don't think so.
29
00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:05,798
Plus, the computer
30
00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:07,243
can organize your recipes.
31
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,130
But my recipes are organized.
32
00:01:09,198 --> 00:01:10,356
On index cards.
33
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,894
Like a cave person.
34
00:01:12,081 --> 00:01:14,185
Cave Mom.
I'm gonna call you that.
35
00:01:14,287 --> 00:01:15,908
It doesn't matter, Sheldon.
36
00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:17,247
We can't afford a computer.
37
00:01:17,346 --> 00:01:19,762
Sure we can. It's only $998,
38
00:01:19,944 --> 00:01:22,312
and Dave says we can buy it
on easy monthly payments.
39
00:01:22,428 --> 00:01:23,442
That's true.
40
00:01:23,510 --> 00:01:24,810
Stay out of this, Dave.
41
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:25,969
Come on.
42
00:01:26,037 --> 00:01:27,263
We got to get home.
43
00:01:27,340 --> 00:01:29,247
- But...
- Sheldon, I said no.
44
00:01:29,432 --> 00:01:30,789
I can make you a good deal
45
00:01:30,857 --> 00:01:32,341
on the floor model,
Mrs. Cooper.
46
00:01:32,409 --> 00:01:34,490
Seriously, Dave,
you're getting on my nerves.
47
00:01:35,016 --> 00:01:36,232
It's not fair.
48
00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:38,083
You bought Missy a Ring Pop.
49
00:01:38,154 --> 00:01:39,406
For ten cents.
50
00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,747
- And I'm worth every penny.
- Let's go.
51
00:01:42,049 --> 00:01:43,234
Sorry, Dave.
52
00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:44,881
We're living
paycheck to paycheck.
53
00:01:44,958 --> 00:01:46,115
Move!
54
00:01:49,915 --> 00:01:53,083
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
55
00:01:53,232 --> 00:01:55,638
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
56
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:58,263
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
57
00:01:58,372 --> 00:02:01,451
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
58
00:02:01,529 --> 00:02:05,271
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
*YOUNG SHELDON*
Season 01 Episode 12
Title: "A Computer, a Plastic Pony,
and a Case of Beer"
59
00:02:09,349 --> 00:02:11,263
Ah, RadioShack.
Ah, RadioShack.
60
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:13,578
Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL
computer system.
61
00:02:13,646 --> 00:02:17,036
Sheldon was going on and on
about that thing today.
62
00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,718
I've never seen one
so easy to use.
63
00:02:18,794 --> 00:02:21,007
Greetings. Need
directions back to your planet?
64
00:02:21,084 --> 00:02:22,952
This technology is more advanced
than we thought.
65
00:02:23,019 --> 00:02:24,469
You know that movie E.T.?
66
00:02:24,537 --> 00:02:26,333
The kid who finds him,
his name is Elliott,
67
00:02:26,474 --> 00:02:28,708
which starts with an "E"
and ends with a "T."
68
00:02:28,896 --> 00:02:30,232
Coincidence?
69
00:02:30,347 --> 00:02:31,583
I don't think so.
70
00:02:32,232 --> 00:02:34,279
You're gonna live
with us forever, aren't you?
71
00:02:34,647 --> 00:02:36,965
So, Sheldon wants
a computer?
72
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,157
Ever since he could talk.
73
00:02:38,234 --> 00:02:39,437
But now more than ever.
74
00:02:39,505 --> 00:02:41,137
Well, he should get a job
after school.
75
00:02:41,214 --> 00:02:42,130
Save up and buy one.
76
00:02:42,198 --> 00:02:44,012
Get a job? He's nine.
77
00:02:44,073 --> 00:02:45,419
I mowed lawns
when I was his age.
78
00:02:45,487 --> 00:02:46,545
Made pretty good money.
79
00:02:46,613 --> 00:02:48,529
You want Sheldon
to mow lawns?
80
00:02:48,685 --> 00:02:50,716
He's so pale,
five minutes in the sun,
81
00:02:50,826 --> 00:02:52,060
he'd burst into flames.
82
00:02:52,138 --> 00:02:53,451
I would pay to see that.
83
00:02:53,519 --> 00:02:54,755
Shut up, Georgie.
84
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,179
I hope you told him
85
00:02:56,247 --> 00:02:58,263
- we can't afford it.
- Of course.
86
00:02:58,742 --> 00:02:59,976
I could buy it for him,
87
00:03:00,044 --> 00:03:02,490
and then y'all could pay
me back when you can.
88
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,982
Okay, Connie, now you're
just insulting me.
89
00:03:05,105 --> 00:03:06,930
Well, that was not my intention,
90
00:03:07,007 --> 00:03:08,454
but I'm glad to hear it.
91
00:03:08,531 --> 00:03:10,039
I can pay my own bills
92
00:03:10,107 --> 00:03:11,372
and take care of my family.
93
00:03:11,443 --> 00:03:13,726
There are expenses
we could cut back on
94
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,255
so we could afford a computer.
95
00:03:15,372 --> 00:03:17,107
You mean like the money
you give to church?
96
00:03:17,208 --> 00:03:19,326
No, I mean like
the money you give
97
00:03:19,396 --> 00:03:21,021
to the Lone Star Beer company.
98
00:03:21,089 --> 00:03:22,336
Good one, Mom.
99
00:03:22,404 --> 00:03:23,532
- Shut up. Shut up, pumpkin.
- Shut up.
100
00:03:23,599 --> 00:03:24,759
We're not getting a computer.
101
00:03:24,857 --> 00:03:26,787
We don't need your money.
102
00:03:27,529 --> 00:03:28,755
Where are you going?
103
00:03:29,028 --> 00:03:31,177
To get a... glass of milk.
104
00:03:31,334 --> 00:03:32,836
He's lying.
He's getting a beer.
105
00:03:32,904 --> 00:03:34,521
Shut up, Georgie.
106
00:03:41,935 --> 00:03:43,462
Mom?
107
00:03:44,177 --> 00:03:46,025
Why are you still up?
108
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,028
Madame Curie is on the roof,
109
00:03:49,154 --> 00:03:51,833
and she's not wearing her hat.
110
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:53,771
You're just dreaming, baby.
111
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,818
But she'll be cold
without her hat.
112
00:03:56,886 --> 00:03:59,121
I'll give her mine.
Now you go to sleep.
113
00:03:59,525 --> 00:04:00,950
Mm, thanks, Mom.
114
00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:02,771
You're the best.
115
00:04:05,139 --> 00:04:06,774
Oh, Lord.
116
00:04:21,636 --> 00:04:24,270
I'm guessing we're not having
our once-a-week.
117
00:04:24,707 --> 00:04:27,793
Sorry, I only have relations
with gentlemen I like.
118
00:04:28,153 --> 00:04:30,850
Oh, come on.
You know how I feel
119
00:04:30,918 --> 00:04:32,660
about your mother meddlin'
in our finances.
120
00:04:32,738 --> 00:04:35,270
She wasn't meddlin',
she was offering to help.
121
00:04:35,384 --> 00:04:37,465
And that computer
is not some silly toy.
122
00:04:37,598 --> 00:04:39,422
Sheldon could use it
for his schoolwork,
123
00:04:39,499 --> 00:04:42,414
and I could use it to...
organize my recipes.
124
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,535
You already got 'em organized
on those little cards.
125
00:04:44,603 --> 00:04:45,995
Yeah, like a cave person.
126
00:04:46,139 --> 00:04:47,848
Well, it doesn't matter.
127
00:04:48,129 --> 00:04:50,195
We can't afford it,
end of story.
128
00:04:50,629 --> 00:04:52,558
Not exactly end of story.
129
00:04:52,796 --> 00:04:53,920
What's that mean?
130
00:04:53,988 --> 00:04:56,067
I've been setting money aside
the last couple of years,
131
00:04:56,134 --> 00:04:57,980
and this might be a good use
for it.
132
00:04:58,746 --> 00:05:00,004
Money from what?
133
00:05:00,072 --> 00:05:01,847
You know, here and there.
134
00:05:02,347 --> 00:05:03,912
Bookkeeping for the church,
135
00:05:03,980 --> 00:05:05,834
some seamstress work,
136
00:05:05,902 --> 00:05:07,980
birthday money
from my Aunt Zelda.
137
00:05:08,065 --> 00:05:10,007
And just how much
of this "here and there" money
138
00:05:10,074 --> 00:05:11,110
you got saved up?
139
00:05:11,187 --> 00:05:12,881
Well, seeing as it's my money,
140
00:05:12,949 --> 00:05:14,605
I don't think
that's any of your business.
141
00:05:14,769 --> 00:05:16,148
None of my business?
142
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:17,636
You see every nickel
143
00:05:17,704 --> 00:05:19,386
I make,
and you got secret money?
144
00:05:19,511 --> 00:05:21,261
It's not secret.
I just told you.
145
00:05:21,629 --> 00:05:22,918
Where you hiding it?
146
00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,582
Well, now you're headed
into secret territory.
147
00:05:25,664 --> 00:05:27,496
Oh, okay.
148
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:30,324
Just so I'm clear,
my money's our money,
149
00:05:30,418 --> 00:05:31,551
but your money's your money.
150
00:05:31,619 --> 00:05:32,641
That's right.
151
00:05:32,718 --> 00:05:34,933
Oh, good to know.
152
00:05:35,989 --> 00:05:37,755
I'm glad we're not having
our once-a-week
153
00:05:37,823 --> 00:05:39,902
'cause I am not in the mood.
154
00:05:41,657 --> 00:05:42,848
Really?
155
00:05:42,972 --> 00:05:44,553
That's too bad.
156
00:05:44,965 --> 00:05:46,277
Why? Are you?
157
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:47,621
No!
158
00:05:50,386 --> 00:05:52,128
That was uncalled for.
159
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:59,713
♪ Love can make you weep... ♪
160
00:06:00,392 --> 00:06:02,571
I forgot to tell you,
a girl called for you.
161
00:06:02,648 --> 00:06:04,931
What girl?
I don't know. A girl.
162
00:06:05,116 --> 00:06:06,274
Well, what'd she say?
163
00:06:06,342 --> 00:06:08,603
It's hard to remember.
This was months ago.
164
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,861
Hey.
165
00:06:12,211 --> 00:06:13,535
Two cases?
166
00:06:13,603 --> 00:06:15,074
You've got to be kidding me.
167
00:06:15,151 --> 00:06:16,619
Don't worry,
I didn't use your money.
168
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:18,482
I used mine.
169
00:06:22,337 --> 00:06:23,513
- ♪ Something so strong...
- Finish your dinner
170
00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:24,650
and then pack a bag.
171
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,283
We are going to Meemaw's.
172
00:06:26,431 --> 00:06:28,314
- Why?
- Because your mom and dad
173
00:06:28,392 --> 00:06:30,306
need a break from each other.
174
00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:31,620
For how long?
175
00:06:31,688 --> 00:06:33,455
I don't know.
Just pack.
176
00:06:34,049 --> 00:06:35,580
Will I need earmuffs?
177
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,041
Sure, if you want.
178
00:06:37,181 --> 00:06:40,002
Although my almanac
does predict mild temperatures.
179
00:06:40,070 --> 00:06:41,408
Then don't bring it.
180
00:06:41,611 --> 00:06:43,088
I'll just bring my almanac.
181
00:06:43,156 --> 00:06:44,955
You know what,
I'll bring both.
182
00:06:46,100 --> 00:06:47,754
Should I pack my toothbrush
183
00:06:47,822 --> 00:06:49,986
or use the one
I keep at Meemaw's?
184
00:06:50,263 --> 00:06:51,554
I got this one.
185
00:06:51,642 --> 00:06:53,246
Nobody cares.
186
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,330
I don't want
to go to Meemaw's house.
187
00:06:55,398 --> 00:06:56,979
What if that girl calls back?
188
00:06:57,047 --> 00:06:58,549
Fine, then stay here
with your father.
189
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:01,297
Sheldon and Missy, we are out
of here in half an hour.
190
00:07:03,322 --> 00:07:06,064
Not a lot of time
to pick a toothbrush.
191
00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:17,166
Come on in.
192
00:07:17,299 --> 00:07:18,963
Mom and Dad need a break.
193
00:07:19,031 --> 00:07:21,088
We don't know how long.
194
00:07:22,528 --> 00:07:23,896
What's he got in there?
195
00:07:23,981 --> 00:07:25,405
Everything.
196
00:07:29,377 --> 00:07:32,353
First and ten in the
closing minutes of the fourth quarter...
197
00:07:32,721 --> 00:07:35,056
I ain't never
getting married.
198
00:07:35,376 --> 00:07:37,488
- That so?
- Yeah.
199
00:07:37,556 --> 00:07:39,908
Women are nothing but trouble.
200
00:07:40,199 --> 00:07:41,757
I'll get it!
201
00:07:42,144 --> 00:07:45,015
Hello, Georgie speaking.
202
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:47,760
Did you run to the phone?
Do you feel stupid?
203
00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,515
Who was it?
204
00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,147
Nobody.
205
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,205
This little tiff
206
00:07:55,273 --> 00:07:56,470
between your mom and me
will blow over.
207
00:07:56,537 --> 00:07:57,884
Don't make a big deal of it.
208
00:07:57,952 --> 00:07:59,213
I'm not. I'm just saying
209
00:07:59,281 --> 00:08:01,043
I'm better suited
to the single life.
210
00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:02,726
And how do you picture that?
211
00:08:02,794 --> 00:08:04,969
Okay, well, you know the buffet
at Golden Corral,
212
00:08:05,037 --> 00:08:06,188
where there's all kinds
of choices
213
00:08:06,255 --> 00:08:07,688
and you can have
as much as you want?
214
00:08:07,755 --> 00:08:08,820
Yeah.
215
00:08:08,888 --> 00:08:11,734
It'll be like that,
only with hot girls.
216
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:14,242
Georgie, I'll bet you
a thousand dollars
217
00:08:14,310 --> 00:08:16,219
you're married before you're 25.
218
00:08:16,937 --> 00:08:18,416
You got a bet.
219
00:08:18,695 --> 00:08:19,719
I feel like
220
00:08:19,787 --> 00:08:21,562
I'm stealing your money.
221
00:08:22,672 --> 00:08:26,250
Georgie married
his first wife at 19.
222
00:08:27,562 --> 00:08:29,555
He never paid my father.
223
00:08:30,062 --> 00:08:33,070
Well, I got to tell you
how happy I am
224
00:08:33,211 --> 00:08:35,726
that y'all are spending
the night with me.
225
00:08:35,813 --> 00:08:38,081
Your house smells
like cigarettes.
226
00:08:38,149 --> 00:08:39,221
So happy.
227
00:08:39,289 --> 00:08:40,703
Sheldon, we've
talked about this.
228
00:08:40,771 --> 00:08:43,047
You don't need to announce
to people how things smell.
229
00:08:43,115 --> 00:08:44,162
Hmm.
230
00:08:44,230 --> 00:08:45,523
All right, you two,
settle in.
231
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:48,094
Are you and Dad
gonna get a divorce?
232
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,418
Of course not.
233
00:08:49,486 --> 00:08:51,300
Are you sure?
Packing up your kids
234
00:08:51,368 --> 00:08:53,501
in the middle of the night
and moving in with your mom
235
00:08:53,569 --> 00:08:55,497
has all the earmarks
of a divorce.
236
00:08:55,596 --> 00:08:57,390
We're not getting a divorce.
237
00:08:57,576 --> 00:08:58,953
Okay, go to sleep.
238
00:08:59,036 --> 00:09:00,726
Sweet dreams.
239
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,817
I can't believe Mom and Dad
had a fight over beer.
240
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,405
I don't think
the fight was about beer.
241
00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:16,434
I think there was
more subtext.
242
00:09:16,575 --> 00:09:18,114
You're probably right.
243
00:09:18,402 --> 00:09:21,645
Then again,
I don't know what subtext is.
244
00:09:24,897 --> 00:09:26,654
I don't want to get
in your business,
245
00:09:26,722 --> 00:09:28,187
but since you're
getting in my bed,
246
00:09:28,255 --> 00:09:30,683
- I'm getting in your business.
- Go ahead.
247
00:09:30,997 --> 00:09:32,534
When you leaving?
248
00:09:32,645 --> 00:09:34,208
Very funny.
249
00:09:34,276 --> 00:09:35,834
That wasn't a joke.
250
00:09:35,953 --> 00:09:37,845
I love you, and
I love the kids,
251
00:09:37,913 --> 00:09:39,895
but I love you better
living across the street.
252
00:09:39,972 --> 00:09:43,036
Sorry the end of my marriage
is inconveniencing you.
253
00:09:43,104 --> 00:09:44,495
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
254
00:09:44,563 --> 00:09:45,677
It's a little spat.
255
00:09:45,745 --> 00:09:47,934
No, this was
a long time coming.
256
00:09:48,059 --> 00:09:50,911
This goes to the very core
of our relationship.
257
00:09:51,161 --> 00:09:52,911
I see we're sticking
with dramatic.
258
00:09:52,988 --> 00:09:55,505
The minute he found out
I had money set aside,
259
00:09:55,638 --> 00:09:57,292
he felt threatened.
And you know why?
260
00:09:57,369 --> 00:09:59,731
'Cause it meant that I can
live independent of him.
261
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,591
Sleeping in your
mommy's bed?
262
00:10:01,659 --> 00:10:03,116
You know what I mean.
263
00:10:05,219 --> 00:10:07,321
You gonna buy Sheldon
that computer?
264
00:10:07,423 --> 00:10:09,481
Well, now I have to.
265
00:10:09,549 --> 00:10:11,122
Got it.
266
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:23,450
You do know I still have
an active love life.
267
00:10:23,662 --> 00:10:25,403
Just go to sleep.
268
00:10:30,484 --> 00:10:32,028
On this very bed.
269
00:10:32,096 --> 00:10:33,692
Oh, Mom.
270
00:10:39,622 --> 00:10:41,046
What's for breakfast?
271
00:10:41,294 --> 00:10:42,996
I don't know.
Grab a bowl of cereal.
272
00:10:43,122 --> 00:10:45,107
Mom usually makes us
eggs and toast
273
00:10:45,184 --> 00:10:46,464
and the occasional meat.
274
00:10:46,541 --> 00:10:48,043
Well, Mom isn't here, is she?
275
00:10:48,216 --> 00:10:51,653
Whoa. Somebody woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
276
00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:54,161
And you had a choice
'cause you had the whole bed.
277
00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,355
Georgie.
278
00:10:55,513 --> 00:10:56,833
Walking on thin ice.
279
00:10:57,263 --> 00:10:59,872
Maybe you should go across
the street and apologize.
280
00:11:00,833 --> 00:11:02,052
I can't do that.
281
00:11:02,379 --> 00:11:03,520
Why not?
282
00:11:03,747 --> 00:11:05,770
'Cause if I do,
it sets a bad precedent.
283
00:11:05,838 --> 00:11:07,506
What's Nixon got to do with it?
284
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:08,671
What?
285
00:11:08,739 --> 00:11:11,669
You said "bad president,"
like Nixon.
286
00:11:11,737 --> 00:11:13,606
You know, this guy.
287
00:11:17,483 --> 00:11:19,309
You going to apologize?
288
00:11:20,354 --> 00:11:21,645
Dad!
289
00:11:21,713 --> 00:11:23,036
Dad!
290
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:26,091
If you are,
bring back meat!
291
00:11:32,770 --> 00:11:33,828
Hey.
292
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,692
I hope you're happy.
293
00:11:36,094 --> 00:11:38,138
Thank you, Georgie.
That's very kind.
294
00:11:38,322 --> 00:11:39,927
Mom and Dad are fighting
because you want
295
00:11:39,995 --> 00:11:41,708
to get a stupid computer.
296
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:43,489
What are you talking about?
297
00:11:43,557 --> 00:11:44,708
Mom wanted
to buy it for you,
298
00:11:44,776 --> 00:11:46,051
Dad said they couldn't
afford it,
299
00:11:46,119 --> 00:11:47,317
Meemaw offered
to pay for it,
300
00:11:47,385 --> 00:11:49,231
and now I'm eating
pineapple spears for lunch.
301
00:11:49,316 --> 00:11:51,364
I hate making
my own lunch.
302
00:11:51,432 --> 00:11:53,122
I'm sorry, Georgie,
I didn't know.
303
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,724
Yeah, well,
now you do.
304
00:11:54,792 --> 00:11:55,989
What did you get?
305
00:11:56,057 --> 00:11:58,544
A turkey sandwich Mom cut
in the shape of a heart,
306
00:11:58,612 --> 00:11:59,942
a fruit cup, a brownie,
307
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,809
and a note from Meemaw saying
how much she loves me.
308
00:12:03,330 --> 00:12:05,770
I haven't read it yet,
but I bet it's a lot.
309
00:12:05,869 --> 00:12:08,317
I don't even have
a can opener.
310
00:12:10,334 --> 00:12:13,419
Oh, Sugar Apple,
I love you so much.
311
00:12:13,549 --> 00:12:16,481
Your affection for
inanimate objects frightens me.
312
00:12:16,549 --> 00:12:18,247
I'm glad you're happy,
Missy.
313
00:12:18,315 --> 00:12:21,770
I'm even happier that I got
a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.
314
00:12:21,838 --> 00:12:23,362
Well, now, we're not exactly
315
00:12:23,430 --> 00:12:24,430
done shopping.
316
00:12:24,525 --> 00:12:27,364
Sheldon,
you still want that computer?
317
00:12:27,661 --> 00:12:29,325
I thought we couldn't
afford it.
318
00:12:29,393 --> 00:12:30,724
Don't you worry about that.
319
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,483
Do you want it or not?
320
00:12:32,697 --> 00:12:34,059
More than anything.
321
00:12:34,127 --> 00:12:36,458
All right, then,
let's go get it.
322
00:12:36,904 --> 00:12:40,427
Wait. He gets a computer
and I get a lousy toy?
323
00:12:40,495 --> 00:12:42,022
I thought you liked it.
324
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:43,989
Not anymore.
325
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:50,398
Where's the water come out of?
326
00:12:50,522 --> 00:12:52,927
Well, seeing as that's
the dryer, nowhere.
327
00:12:53,588 --> 00:12:54,779
Hmm.
328
00:12:55,659 --> 00:12:57,099
So this one's the washer?
329
00:12:57,179 --> 00:12:58,559
No foolin' you.
330
00:12:58,887 --> 00:13:00,139
What are you doing?
331
00:13:00,207 --> 00:13:02,341
Separating the whites
from the colors.
332
00:13:02,409 --> 00:13:03,890
Whoa, that's racist.
333
00:13:04,589 --> 00:13:06,824
How did I get a rocket scientist
for one son
334
00:13:06,892 --> 00:13:09,138
- and a rodeo clown for the other?
- Oh, man.
335
00:13:09,376 --> 00:13:11,903
I'd give anything
to be a rodeo clown.
336
00:13:12,395 --> 00:13:13,664
They make
people happy,
337
00:13:13,741 --> 00:13:15,866
and they see the rodeo for free.
338
00:13:17,061 --> 00:13:18,552
Mmm.
339
00:13:24,231 --> 00:13:27,020
The home
computer I had long coveted
340
00:13:27,088 --> 00:13:29,622
was finally in my possession,
341
00:13:29,756 --> 00:13:33,224
but it was also destroying
my home.
342
00:13:33,598 --> 00:13:35,329
Thankfully, it came pre-loaded
343
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:38,356
with a program to help solve
personal problems.
344
00:13:38,888 --> 00:13:41,169
Hello, I am Eliza.
345
00:13:41,379 --> 00:13:44,817
My... parents...
346
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:48,367
are... fighting...
347
00:13:48,435 --> 00:13:50,477
a lot.
348
00:13:51,051 --> 00:13:53,656
I see.
Can you elaborate on that?
349
00:13:53,772 --> 00:13:56,133
My mother...
350
00:13:56,316 --> 00:13:59,648
bought... me...
351
00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,547
this...
352
00:14:01,701 --> 00:14:04,836
computer...
353
00:14:05,249 --> 00:14:06,669
but...
354
00:14:06,810 --> 00:14:11,523
my dad... says... we can't...
355
00:14:11,803 --> 00:14:14,891
afford it.
356
00:14:15,750 --> 00:14:17,961
Do you have issues
with your mother?
357
00:14:18,122 --> 00:14:20,403
Mmm...
No.
358
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,969
She... makes me...
359
00:14:24,089 --> 00:14:26,469
spaghetti...
360
00:14:26,537 --> 00:14:29,039
with hot dogs...
361
00:14:29,107 --> 00:14:31,836
cut up in it.
362
00:14:32,063 --> 00:14:34,203
Can you elaborate on that?
363
00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,500
Are you...
364
00:14:37,568 --> 00:14:40,086
going to help me or not?
365
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,734
Hello, I am Eliza.
366
00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:48,898
The future might be overrated.
367
00:14:51,150 --> 00:14:52,651
Okay, water's
definitely on.
368
00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:55,313
- Try it now.
- We want delicate or regular?
369
00:14:56,117 --> 00:14:57,836
It doesn't
matter, just turn it on.
370
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:00,930
Let's go with
delicate to be safe.
371
00:15:02,226 --> 00:15:03,859
Nothin'.
372
00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,358
Damn it.
373
00:15:05,547 --> 00:15:06,883
Wait, I know what to do.
374
00:15:06,951 --> 00:15:08,024
What?
375
00:15:08,092 --> 00:15:10,227
Go across the street
and apologize to Mom.
376
00:15:10,852 --> 00:15:12,586
I got nothin' to apologize for.
377
00:15:12,654 --> 00:15:14,899
You don't have to mean it.
I never do.
378
00:15:14,967 --> 00:15:16,570
Georgie, just mind
your business.
379
00:15:16,638 --> 00:15:17,961
Okay, sorry.
380
00:15:18,143 --> 00:15:19,541
In case you
were wondering,
381
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:20,891
I didn't mean that.
382
00:15:20,968 --> 00:15:22,893
See how easy it is?
383
00:15:24,695 --> 00:15:27,288
These home computers
are amazing.
384
00:15:27,365 --> 00:15:29,188
I could start a real
bookkeeping business
385
00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:30,315
with that thing.
386
00:15:30,383 --> 00:15:32,219
And that would go a
long way to giving you
387
00:15:32,287 --> 00:15:34,149
the financial independence
you're looking for.
388
00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:35,922
Darn tootin'.
389
00:15:37,328 --> 00:15:39,313
Just for your information,
390
00:15:39,477 --> 00:15:41,563
Sheldon is using the
computer right now
391
00:15:41,631 --> 00:15:43,375
to try and fix your marriage.
392
00:15:43,532 --> 00:15:44,859
Really?
393
00:15:45,344 --> 00:15:46,680
What did it say?
394
00:15:46,930 --> 00:15:48,601
It said...
395
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,188
"Get out
of your mother's house."
396
00:15:51,266 --> 00:15:52,513
- Mom.
- I'm serious.
397
00:15:52,590 --> 00:15:53,868
I want a cigarette,
and I'm tired
398
00:15:53,935 --> 00:15:55,349
of hiding behind
the garage.
399
00:15:55,426 --> 00:15:56,937
You think I should apologize
to George?
400
00:15:57,004 --> 00:15:59,605
Well, of course not. That would
set a terrible precedent.
401
00:15:59,673 --> 00:16:01,175
I think you should
go back over there
402
00:16:01,243 --> 00:16:02,616
to pick up some
clothes for the kids
403
00:16:02,683 --> 00:16:04,097
and be all cold
and distant,
404
00:16:04,165 --> 00:16:06,058
so he has to
apologize to you.
405
00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:07,956
Oh, that's not bad.
406
00:16:08,159 --> 00:16:09,441
Do it.
407
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:10,910
I will.
408
00:16:11,068 --> 00:16:12,675
Why you drinking tea?
409
00:16:12,854 --> 00:16:15,413
Get out.
410
00:16:24,989 --> 00:16:26,957
♪♪
411
00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:39,349
Oh, hello.
412
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,079
Hey.
413
00:16:41,679 --> 00:16:43,236
Were you coming back, or...?
414
00:16:43,422 --> 00:16:45,847
Just to get some clothes
for the kids.
415
00:16:47,240 --> 00:16:48,775
Oh.
416
00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:52,460
Were you coming to talk to me?
417
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,197
Well... yeah.
418
00:16:57,111 --> 00:16:58,623
I, um...
419
00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:04,048
wanted to apologize.
420
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,595
Really?
421
00:17:08,032 --> 00:17:10,509
♪♪
422
00:17:12,126 --> 00:17:13,567
Want to go for a walk?
423
00:17:13,635 --> 00:17:14,938
Talk a little?
424
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:17,721
Sure.
425
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:25,837
Hey, kids, come here.
426
00:17:26,663 --> 00:17:28,134
Look at that.
427
00:17:29,790 --> 00:17:32,946
It looks like your mom and dad
are gonna be all right.
428
00:17:33,329 --> 00:17:35,274
Does this mean
we're going home?
429
00:17:35,342 --> 00:17:37,090
It appears so.
430
00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:40,282
I didn't even get to wear
my earmuffs yet.
431
00:17:43,481 --> 00:17:47,048
And this program will allow us
to track our family finances,
432
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,915
create a budget, and
prepare tax documents.
433
00:17:49,983 --> 00:17:51,408
- That's impressive.
- Mmm.
434
00:17:51,476 --> 00:17:53,030
Would you like to know
how much money
435
00:17:53,098 --> 00:17:54,571
you spend on beer annually?
436
00:17:54,696 --> 00:17:56,532
- No.
- I would.
437
00:17:58,173 --> 00:18:00,618
$936.
438
00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:02,290
George.
439
00:18:02,900 --> 00:18:04,465
If you switched
to Hawaiian Punch,
440
00:18:04,533 --> 00:18:06,558
we could live in a bigger house.
441
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:09,524
Hello, I am Eliza.
442
00:18:09,592 --> 00:18:12,618
- ♪ I study nuclear science ♪
- Eliza...
443
00:18:12,686 --> 00:18:18,118
- ♪ I got a crazy teacher ♪
- Are... you...
444
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,048
hot?
445
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,985
In your fantasies, am I hot?
446
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,087
Oh... yes.
447
00:18:27,191 --> 00:18:29,438
You realize you're not
talking to a real person.
448
00:18:29,547 --> 00:18:32,305
Hey, get out of here.
I'm about to score.
449
00:18:34,616 --> 00:18:36,474
Missy! Turn off the computer.
450
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,735
Time to go to bed.
451
00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:40,618
I got to finish my homework!
452
00:18:40,929 --> 00:18:42,987
Big money, big money.
453
00:18:43,181 --> 00:18:44,680
♪ Things are going great ♪
454
00:18:44,748 --> 00:18:46,118
Yes!
455
00:18:46,186 --> 00:18:48,751
♪♪
456
00:18:48,999 --> 00:18:50,665
♪ I'm doing all right
457
00:18:50,733 --> 00:18:52,368
♪ Getting good grades ♪
458
00:18:52,436 --> 00:18:54,704
♪ The future's so bright ♪
459
00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:57,680
- ♪ I gotta wear shades ♪
- Hello?
460
00:18:57,856 --> 00:18:59,658
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪
461
00:18:59,726 --> 00:19:00,773
Hello?
462
00:19:00,858 --> 00:19:03,923
♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪
463
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:08,852
♪♪
464
00:19:12,782 --> 00:19:14,368
Oh.
465
00:19:15,030 --> 00:19:16,220
What?
466
00:19:16,288 --> 00:19:17,704
What? Nothin'.
467
00:19:24,071 --> 00:19:26,328
Button you pull,
that's stupid.
468
00:19:26,963 --> 00:19:28,846
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