All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 05x06 - Dancing in the Dark

♪ Thank you for being a friend

♪ Traveled down the road
and back again

♪ Your heart is true

♪ You're a pal and a confidante

♪ And if you threw a party

♪ Invited everyone you knew

♪ You would see the biggest
gift would be from me

♪ And the card attached
would say

♪ "Thank you for
being a friend"

Oh...

Blanche, what are you doing
lining shelves on a Friday night?

I'm workin' off
all my excess sexual energy.

Why don't we just
hook you up to the toaster

and make Pop-Tarts?

Don't make fun, Dorothy.

This is the fifth Friday night
in a row I haven't had a date.

Honey, you're just
in a little slump.

Is that what this is?
I never been in one before.

Well, it feels like hell.

Dorothy, how do you go through
this for years at a stretch?

I have compassionate
friends around me.

Well, I guess eventually
this was bound to happen.

I can just feel my femininity
slippi" through my fingers.

And in the past there's always
been a man there to catch it.

Oh...

Blanche, you're being
ridiculous.

You are as attractive and
desirable as you always were.

But a lot of men
can be frightened by that.

They don't know if they can
handle that much woman.

So every once in a while
this'll happen.

No, Blanche, it takes
a strong, confident,

sophisticated man
to appreciate you.

But, honey, they're out there

wanting you as much
as you want them.

I knew it had to be
something like that.

Thank you, Dorothy.

There really is
one born every minute.

Ha ha. Thanks for
seeing us home, Miles.

It's my pleasure, Rose.

Well, hello, there.

Oh, I didn't know
you had company.

Dorothy, Blanche, I'd like
you to meet Miles Webber.

How do you do, Miles?
Nice to meet you. Thank you.

A real delight.

Miles is my dancing partner
at the ballroom.

Oh, yes, and tonight we were the
king and queen of the rumba.

Olé.

Ma, did you have a good time?

Great. I even made
a few bucks.

How did you do that, Sophia?

The place was packed with old
geezers ripe for the picking.

I charged them
10 cents a dance.

Ma, you didn't!

Please. I worked hard
for that money.

Half the time they'd fall
asleep in the middle of a song.

How would you like
to hold Mr. Morelli up

for two choruses
of "Jeepers Creepers"?

Ma, you did all that
for 10 cents?

I know. It's worth a buck.

But all these guys lived
through the Depression.

For a buck they expect
a good time,

a shoe shine
and a full tank of gas.

(jingles)

Listen, Rose, I'm having
a little get-together

over at my place
tomorrow night.

Someone I work with is retiring,
and I was hoping you'd come.

Oh, I'd love it.
Around 8:00, then?

Mm.
Oh, good.

Well, good night, ladies.

Nice meeting you.
Come back and see us some time.

Good night, Rose.

Good night.

(sighs)

As they say in St. Olaf,

helderbargenberg
gefloefen wurterberg.

You wanna help us out
here, Rose?

Well, there's really no
English word for gefloefen.

Loosely translated, it means,

"I hope you have a license
to carry that gefloefen."

And, uh, this is a quality
that you look for in a man?

Yes.

Oh, maybe I'm crazy
to be so attracted

by someone I hardly know,
but I can't help it.

I've been dying for him
to ask me out,

but we never really talk,
we just dance.

Well, what do you know
about him?

Nothing. Except he's
a wonderful dancer.

Oh, well, what's that?
All that proves is he has rhythm.

I see what you mean.

You know, you can learn
a lot about a man

just by the way
he holds you in his arms.

Whether he's kind,

sensitive, caring...

He dipped you, didn't he?

All evening.

Oh, Lord.

So long since I've been dipped.

I can't even remember which
end of a gefloefen is up.

(doorbell)

Rose. Well, come on in.

You're missing all the fun.

I'll bet you probably
thought that a party

full of college professors would
be stuffy, but not this one.

You're a college professor?

Well, what did you think I meant
when I said I taught Hemingway?

I thought you were old.

Come on. I want you
to meet some people, Rose.

Gale, Lillian, this is
my friend Rose.

How do you do?

Hello. Miles, we were
just hypothesizing.

If you were to invite
any two people,

living or dead, to dinner,
who would they be?

Well, Lillian picked
Winston Churchill

and Browning without his wife.

(laughing) (laughing)

Rose, whom would you pick?

Just two?
Well, that's tough.

I... Well, I'd feel guilty
if I didn't invite

my two best friends,
Dorothy and Blanche,

but would it be OK if Jesus
stopped by for dessert?

(laughs)

Didn't I tell you
she was something special?

Rose, why don't I get you something to drink?
What would you like?

Ginger ale if you have it.
All right.

Oh, but first I want
to introduce you

to two of my closest friends.

Harv, Elise,
this is my friend Rose.

Take good care of her.

Hello. We were just having
a little disagreement.

Now, Harv, Moby Dick is about
self-fulfilling prophesy.

Oh, come on, Elise.
The whale represents coming to terms

with the self-hatred
that's in all of us.

What do you think?
Uh...

I-I was just having
a conversation

with two people over there

speculating on if you could have
any two people in the world,

living or dead,
to your house for dinner,

what would you eat?

Blanche, I didn't know
you went out.

Are you coming back
from a date?

You know, Dorothy,
sometimes you can be so cruel.

Honey, If you didn't have a date,
how come you're so dressed up?

Well, I sat down
and tried to think

of a surefire place
to meet men.

It was so obvious I couldn't believe
I hadn't thought of it before.

The hardware store.

I mean, hardware stores
are alive with sexual energy.

Tools, plugs, sockets,

nude furniture,
dirty stuff like that.

Why are you home so early?

Well, I saw a very attractive
man in power tools.

I piqued his interest with the
usual hardware questions.

"Where does this go?"

"What does this do?"

And he followed me to plumbing,

where I bought a see-through
shower curtain.

And, uh, where is he now?

Tied to the roof rack
of your car?

No, there was something
about him that turned me off.

I think it was the way he
cleaned his ears with his keys.

Hi.

You're home early.
Did you enjoy yourself?

Not really. Miles' friends
are all college professors.

I don't get it.

When we're on the dance floor,

it feels like we're made
for each other.

But tonight, with all
his brilliant friends

at the party, I felt
like a fish out of water.

Oh, sure I didn't
flop around on the floor

with my eyes bulging out
gasping for air.

I haven't done that
at a party in years.

Honey, you know, anybody
would feel out of her league

in a room full of
college professors.

You should have
a home field advantage.

Why don't you
invite him over here?

Dorothy's right.

We can create the illusion
that you're interestin'.

That's a hell of an illusion.

Maybe we should just
saw her in half.

Excuse me.
I'll get the coffee.

Dinner was delicious, Rose.
What was it?

It's a Scandinavian
specialty - kuldomar.

I've never heard of that
before, but it's marvelous.

Oh, you just throw together
some ground pork and cabbage.

Cabbage, she serves me.

In ten minutes
I could be sky-writing.

You girls were right about
getting Miles on my turf.

Oh, Blanche, and I'm really
grateful for you steering

the table talk to things
I know about.

Well, you ought to be.
It wasn't that easy

working natural fertilizer
into the dinner conversation.

What are you planning next?

I don't know.

Do you think it's too soon
to put on the bloopers tape?

Just a tad.

So the existentialist
says to the psychiatrist,

"Just because you don't see
a parrot on my head..."

(laughs)

Eh? You see?

(Dorothy and Miles laugh)

Ooh, listen. Rose,
I was wondering.

If you're not busy
Saturday afternoon,

the university
is playing Shostakovich.

Oh, I'd love to go.
And I'll bet we beat 'em.

Rose, honey, it's not a team.
It's a composer.

Oh.

I better get the dessert.

She sure left in a hurry.

Hey, who told her
to feed me cabbage?

I thought I'd give you
a hand with the dessert.

What's wrong, Rose?

"It's not a team, Rose.
It's a composer."

Couldn't you pretend
it was a team

and make him look stupid?

Honey, I'm sorry.

I'm not going back out there.
He'll never miss me.

Of course he'll miss you.
Rose, you're the one he came to see.

But he can talk to you.

Why should he care about
what I'd have to say?

I'm just not smart enough
to keep up.

Oh, now, Rose,
that is not true.

It is and you know it.

I've never felt
like this before.

I was one of the smartest
people in St. Olaf.

I was a fool to think
we could have a relationship.

Please apologize to him for me.

I'd do it, but it would
just sound stupid.

Fine. I will tell her.

Bye-bye.

Hi.
Hi, Rose.

Rose, Miles called again.

He wants you to meet him
outside the concert hall.

I asked you to tell him
I'm not going.

I'm not gonna do your
dirty work for you, Rose.

Well, I don't wanna
talk to him.

He makes me feel foolish.

I don't even feel comfortable

telling him St. Olaf stories.

I wanna know
exactly what he's said

to make you feel that way.

Look, I'm not going out
with him. You go, Blanche.

What?
Well, you like him.

I know you do. So you go.

Why, I couldn't.

Of course she couldn't.

You stay outta this, Dorothy.

Well, why not?
It's all over between us.

He'll know that tonight.

It's impossible. I'd -
I'd feel like a...

I'd feel like a...

A backstabbing slut?

No.

Then please go, for me.

I'll feel better knowing this
thing is finally over with.

Well, since you put it
that way...

But only as a personal
favor to you, honey.

Well, I guess I'd better
go get dressed.

Thank you, Blanche.

Can you believe
that backstabbing slut?

Oh, Ma, you going
to the ballroom again?

No. I was thinking of
wearing this when I die.

What do you think?

Come on, Rose,
why aren't you ready?

I'm not going.
How come?

Miles might be there,
and... I don't know.

Oh, now, Rose, don't say
you're going to feel stupid.

You are not stupid.
You just...

march to a different drummer.

Yeah, the little windup monkey

banging on the snare drum.

Ma...

I was agreeing.

Blanche, how was the concert?

It is amazing how music
that loud can be so boring.

And Miles?
Oh, even more boring than the music.

All he did all night
was talk about you.

How sweet Rose is.
How attractive Rose is.

How much fun Rose is.

I might as well
have worn a bra.

Did he really say that?
You're not just making that up?

I never make up stories where
I come out lookin' bad.

He also said he's going
to the ballroom tonight,

and he hopes you'll be there.

Oh, I couldn't.

Oh, I mean, I want to,
but I can't.

Why not?

What if Miles and I are dancing

and I say something idiotic?

Just breathe it in his ear.

Nothing sounds idiotic
if it's wet enough.

Will you come with me
for moral support?

Oh, not tonight, Rose.
No, no.

I wanna get to bed early,
curl up with a good book.

That's all you ever do.

No, it isn't.

Yes, it is, Dorothy.

That's all you've done lately,
and it's pathetic.

What's even more pathetic is
that I've been home to watch.

Dorothy, I really
need you there.

I need your shoulder...
in case he takes his away.

Oh, all right, I'll go.

Ma, where are my dancing shoes?

In the Smithsonian,
right next to Fred Astaire's.

How the hell would I know?

Blanche, you coming with us?

Oh, you're kidding.
Of course.

Oh, you'll love it.

Oh! Nothing personal,
honey,

but those places are meant for
desperate, hopeless people

who can't find someone
any other way.

Well, if you're sure.

I'd rather be tied to a tree
covered in honey

and have a family
of grizzlies lick it off.

Why do I torture myself
like this?

Girls, wait for me!

(♪ ballroom music)

Ma, this-this place
is fantastic.

I feel like I did
when I was 20.

You mean unmarried
and pregnant?

Blanche, look around.
Isn't this wonderful?

Aren't you suddenly
the life of the party?

This place gives me the creeps.

(Rose) But look, Blanche.
See how much fun everybody's having?

Yeah, right now, but wait till
they hear Glenn Miller's dead.

He's not dead.
He's missing!

Stop complaining, Blanche.

Look at all the available
men here.

You shouldn't have any problem.

Are you kiddin'?
This is gonna be

just like fishin' in one
of those trout farms.

May I have this dance, Sophia?

I got the time
if you got the dime.

(money jingles)

I'm all yours.

I don't see Miles
here anywhere.

Maybe he didn't come tonight.

He almost didn't.

Hi, Dorothy.
Hello, Miles.

You left my party as soon
as you arrived.

You invite me to dinner, you
disappear into the house.

You send Blanche
to the concert.

I was beginning
to take it personally.

Shall we?

Go on, Rose.

Excuse me, Dorothy.

I am going to keep
one arm around your waist

to make sure you don't
disappear again.

Dorothy, this is Alfred.

He's an ear, nose
and throat specialist.

He says he's been lookin' for
love in all the wrong places.

I was happy to see you
here tonight, Rose.

I was starting to wonder
how you felt about me.

Rose, is there something wrong?

You've hardly said a word.

Ah.

I'm glad to hear it.

Would you care to dance?

Oh, I...
I don't think so.

Oh.

I'm usually not this forward,

but Glenn Miller has
such an effect on me.

You don't like Glenn Miller,
do you?

Are you kidding?

I was in the search party.
Let's dance.

Oh, listen to that music.

Who says you can't
go home again?

Canute Trollsted.

You see, he took
Ilse Frickerdeller

up to Smooch Point to play
hide the fingerborg.

That's a thimble.

Well, Ilse sat on his compass,

and they got so lost
they walked to Finland,

and that's when Canute said,
"You can't go home again."

Well, that's very, uh...

Stupid!

Rose.

Rose.

Is something wrong?

I don't know what you see
in me, Miles.

I see you.

But why me?

I thought you'd like Blanche.

I like Blanche very much.
So does Blanche.

Ha ha ha. That's better.

I feel so dumb around you.

Oh, never say that, Rose.

But you're a teacher.
You... you think for a living.

Well, don't be so impressed.
I have summers off.

How you can stand
listening to me

and all my ridiculous
stories...

Your stories are
very refreshing, Rose.

It's like driving in the
country and getting lost.

You may not know where you are,

but you always have a good
time finding your way out.

That was a compliment,
wasn't it?

Come on.

I like you very much, Rose.

You know, you're...
you're very special.

I'm just lucky to be
smart enough to see it.

You know,
life's a ballroom, Rose,

if you'll pardon the metaphor.

If you hear something you like,
don't analyze it, just...

just dance to it.

You understand?

I think so.

Except what a metaphor is.

Who needs metaphors?
Come on. Let's dance.