All language subtitles for Superstore.S04E15.WEBRip.x264-ION10

.

- First order of business--

another foot was found
in the parking lot.

- Wow. It's so weird
seeing you as the manager.

It's like that one time
my math teacher

became my stepdad
for a little bit.

Like, what?

- It's a big change.
Must be weird.

Anyway, this foot had
the number eight written on it,

which is concerning
because we've only found

two other feet,
so keep your eyes open.

- Sorry. Sorry I'm late.

The baby was throwing up
all night,

but the doctor said it's
probably 'cause I just gave her

part of my buffalo chicken
wrap, you know?

Okay, uh,
let's get down to business.

- Uh, Glenn?
- Mm-hmm.

- Yeah.
You're not manager anymore.

- Oh. Oh, my gosh!
I'm so sorry.

After 30 years,
it's just--it's muscle memory.

- Of course.
Yeah.

- Okay, I'm gonna go
take my seat and--

Oh, you can read
my announcements.

- Oh, no, I wrote up my own
announcements--I'm good.

- There's
some real goodies in here.

They're gonna eat it up.
Trust me.

Go ahead. Read.

- "So I bet you're wondering
why there are so many cops

in the parking lot.

Let's just
say there's a mystery afoot."

[all groan]

[upbeat music]

♪

- Hey boss.
- Hey.

Little office-warming gift.
Got it in the Garden Center.

I'm not sure what it is.

The tag just said,
"Medium Plant."

- It's a large plant
that didn't grow.

- How cool is this?

- It's very cool.

- That's it?
You have your own office now.

You've made it.
How are you not ecstatic?

- I'm happy.
What do you want me to do?

- I don't know.

Spin around in your chair,
feel the power.

- Is this good for you?

Feels pretty powerful to me.

- I feel
like you're mocking me.

- No.
I would never.

- If someone held a gun
to your head and asked you,

"Who would be the best person

to replace Amy
as floor supervisor,"

who would you say?

- Probably the guy
with the gun.

- Okay.
No, he doesn't want the job.

- Oh, well, then what's up
with the gun?

- Forget the gun.
Who would you pick?

- Okay, if I had to pick
someone here,

it would probably be...

Actually,
you would be good for it.

- I know.
That's what everyone is saying.

But I don't think
Amy sees me as a leader.

In her eyes, I'd always be
the wide-eyed ingenue--

new to the city,
naive but hopeful,

someone who can eat
whatever he wants

and never put on any weight.

- Maybe you just need
to step up

and start acting
like a leader.

Fake it 'till you make it.

- What does that even mean?

Like, I should just start
telling people what to do?

- It worked for Bo.

One day he walked
into a drugstore

wearing a white coat,
and now he's a pharmacist tech.

- Really?

- We don't have to buy
street drugs anymore.

- But why would Paul Walker's
ghost single you out?

- I'm just saying--
sometimes the car speeds up

even when I'm not
pressing on the gas.

- Good morning,
fellow floor workers?

Floor worker Glenn Sturgis,
at your service.

- What's with the shirt?

- Oh, this is a little bit
of history--

the original Cloud 9 uniform.

One size fits all,
and it still fits.

- Oh, well, looks like
you're ready for work.

You got your shirt, you got
your giant orthopedic shoes.

- And customized insoles
from The Walking Company.

And also, Jerusha and I are
splitting a pair of clogs,

'cause we're the same size--
women's 15.

- Yeah.
Your wife has beautiful feet.

- Thank you.
Anyway, so where do we begin?

- Someone diarrhea'd
in the toy aisle.

- Oh, dibs!
If--if you don't mind.

- That's all you, dude.
- You got it.

- Enjoy.
- Okay.

Off to mop the slop.

- Ah, man,
he made it sound fun.

- No, he didn't.
- Yeah, he did.

- Your dad is getting good.
- Right?

He's in this whole
Brat Pack phase.

16-year-old Amy
is very excited.

- Oh, were you
in the middle of sex?

- I wasn't.
Were you?

- No.
- Weird.

It really smells
like sex in here.

[sniffs]
Probably smelling myself.

Anyway, I wanted to talk
about our security system.

- Uh, what's wrong with it?
- It's crap.

Glenn never let me upgrade it
because of the cost,

which is why I am so excited
that you're in charge.

- Uh, well,
what does it cost?

- Honestly, not that much.
It's just, like, a--

just a tiny bit north
of $600,000.

$800,000, to be precise.

- Oh, yeah, well,
that sounds like a bargain.

Um, Jonah,
what do you think?

- Um, we--

Well, um,
technology is always changing,

so I'd probably wait a minute

before investing
in something new.

- Hmm. That--
that's a really good point.

Maybe we should revisit this.

- Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

Thank you, Jonah,
for your input.

So glad you were here
to chime in with your...

valuable perspective.

- I feel like
she didn't mean that.

[Muzak playing]

- [exhales deeply]

Now, that is
a nice-looking display.

- Thanks.
I sorted them

by order of smells
I encountered growing up.

- Well, um,
since you're done here,

why don't you go, um,

straighten out
the linen section?

- Oh, um...

did someone say I should?

I mean...

who...

- Who...
[clears throat]

What?

♪

- Nothing.
- Hmm.

♪

[scoffs]

[exhales sharply]

- How is Fig Newton the first
thing you ever smelled?

- And I just want to confirm,

are you gonna want
an assistant?

- Uh, oh,
do I get an assistant?

Glenn never had one.

- Yeah, he always thought

it would come out
of his salary, but it doesn't.

- Speaking of, um, I--

I don't even really know
what my salary is.

Would you--would you
happen to have it?

- Oh, it's, um, $109,000.

- [stammering]

- Hello?
Are you still there?

- Uh, yes. Uh...
[stammers]

Yeah. Uh, uh-huh.
Sorry, sorry. Um...

Did you, uh--

You said $100,000?

- And $9,000,
plus a yearly bonus,

usually around $10,000.

- $10,000?
Oh, excuse me.

Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry.

Hello? Hello?
Hi, hi, hi.

You still there?
- Yeah.

- Um, okay, so--

so when you say $10,000,
you mean, like,

on top of the previously
mentioned $9,000,

or is it, like,
a part of the $9,000

so it's really just,
like, $1,000?

- I don't know
what that means,

but it's a total
of $119,000.

- And those are real,

firm, rock-hard numbers?

That's--I'm sorry
if that sounded over-sexual.

I'm just looking
for confirmation.

- Uh-huh. So I'll just fax
over the contract,

and you can sign it
at your convenience.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's convenient right now.

Uh, I could--I could do that
right now. Uh-huh.

- Do you want to hear
about your perks?

- Holy [bleep]!

Yes, I would like to, um, hear
about those, please.

.

[upbeat funk music]

♪

- Good morning, Sarah.

Looking great!

Good hustle, Brett!

♪

Hey, Sayid,
you can go on a break.

- I already had my break.
- Well, then it's

a double-break day
for you, my friend.

- You're in a good mood.

- ♪ Somebody got laid

- No, actually, I, um...

I'm just very happy.

I like my new job.

Oh, also, hey, everyone?

There are doughnuts
in the break room.

- [gasps]

- Ooh, who forgot
their doughnuts?

- No, I bought them.
- Okay.

Nobody eat the doughnuts.
They're Amy's.

- No, that's not--I--

Doesn't matter.
Good job, everyone.

- She's so weird
about her doughnuts.

- Hey, so I'm restocking
this cereal,

and there's something
moving inside.

It's definitely alive, because
I can hear it scratching.

- I don't care
about a cereal roach.

What I care about is you
keeping your big nose--

that's not a slur,
just an expression--

out of my business.
- What are you talking about?

- The way you [bleep] me
out of that security system.

Let's keep something straight.
You're the boyfriend.

I'm the assistant manager.

You get this,
and you get this,

maybe this--that's between
you guys, I don't want to know.

- Dina--
- I said I don't want to know.

But this--

everything north of the
fun park--this is my domain.

- So, basically,
you're asking me

to keep my opinions to myself

and limit my relationship
with Amy

to wordless, mindless sex.
- Exactly.

Huh. I thought this was going
to be a harder conversation.

- I'm not saying no,
but if I did,

just out of curiosity,
what would happen?

- Help me out, man. Don't make
me make her dump you.

Don't make me do that.

- I think
I'm gonna make you do it.

- [sighs]
Fine.

You had your chance.

And, again,
the nose thing wasn't--

You get it.
I love everyone.

[Muzak playing]

- Marcus, I'm gonna need you
to fill in for Brett

'cause he raged out
on someone's baby again.

Sayid,
clean the pharmacy counter.

The kids have been inhaling
the pill dust.

- Why are you telling us
what to do?

You're not floor supervisor.

- Yeah, you're right.

I just went to Office Supplies,

picked up a clipboard,
filled it with blank paper,

and started
giving people orders,

without
any authority whatsoever.

[laughing]
I mean, come on.

- Come on,
get with the program, Sayid.

- Look, Jonah's a bimbo.
You're management now.

you don't see Dale Federman
from the Clayton store

walking around
with some floozy on his arm.

Okay?
Keep him at the kids' table.

- Yeah, no, those--you make
some really great points.

I'll keep them in mind.
- Well, just think about it.

And if you need to have
some rebound sex,

I'm happy to call my guy.

He's great.
Croatian.

- Myrtle, hey.

How are you?
- Oh, okay.

- You eating
some ketchup there?

- They give me these packets
for free.

If you leave it in your mouth,
it gets warm

and tastes just like...
tomato soup.

[chuckles]

- Um...
uh...

you know, if you're still
in between jobs,

they just promoted me
to manager.

- Of the Cardinals?

- No, of the store.

- [gasps]
- And--and they told me

that I could hire
an assistant,

but I don't really need
and assistant, so...

Why don't I just hire you?

- Oh, really?

I'll be the best assistant
you've ever had.

- No, no, no, you don't--
you don't have to come in.

[whispering]
You can just take the money.

- I used to work
for Mr. Nelson

of Pan-American Airlines.

I'll be here bright and early
every morning

with your racing forms
and pipe tobacco.

- Great.
Yeah, well, welcome aboard.

- ♪ Grab a couple cans,
stack 'em like blocks ♪

♪ Grab another can,
start a new row ♪

♪ Having so much fun,
watch me as I go ♪

- Sorry.

- That sucks.

Welcome to that
floor-worker life.

- I wanted to rebuild it
anyway,

'cause I think if I make

the base wider,
I can go even higher.

- Glenn, you know,
it's okay to complain.

I do it all the time.

- Well, I know you do.
- What's that supposed to mean?

- There's no such thing
as a bad job.

If you have a good attitude,
every job is fun.

- It's not my attitude.
This is a terrible job.

- Well, okay.
Whatever you say.

♪ Stacking up
the canned foods ♪

Come on, now. Let's see it.
Wave those hands.

♪ Stacking up
the canned foods ♪

Come on!
You know you want to.

- Oh, hey, Myrtle.
What are you doing here?

- I just finished eating

all the jelly beans
she asked me to.

[chuckles]
- Myrtle is my new assistant.

- Oh.
- Yes.

What should I do next?

- Um, why don't you take

the sales announcements
to Garrett?

- Oh, Garrett.
Is he the...

What do they like
to be called these days?

- No, no, no, no.
Let's not get into that.

Just take it over
to customer service.

- Aye, aye, Captain.

- You get an assistant...
and it's Myrtle?

- Well, I just wanted
to help the lady out.

Besides, I am in a good mood.

- Ooh-hoo-hoo.
What's going on?

- I just found out my salary.

- [gasps]
It's good?

- I shouldn't say.
- You are dying to tell me.

- Yes, of course
I'm dying to tell you.

Okay, I'm not gonna tell you
my salary,

but will you please hand me
the contract

that's sitting on my desk
while I check out something

on my wall
and I trust you not to look?

- [chuckles]

"Attention Cloud 9 customers,

do you have a pet fish
you love?"

- No, that's--this is
the sale announcements.

- The sale announcements
that Myrtle

just took to Garrett?

- Get her!
Myrtle!

- "Section 5, paragraph K--
salary.

"Employee shall be paid

at the rate
of $109,000 annually."

Not sure why Amy wants you all
to know she makes 109K,

but, uh, good for her.

"Section 6--
nondisclosure agreement."

I fear that ship
has sailed.

.

- I'm very sorry.

Obviously, I didn't intend

to tell everyone
how much I was making.

And, honestly,
I'm quite surprised

that anyone
receiving that information

from a clearly confused
and elderly woman

would make that announcement.

- I'm a good soldier.
I do what I'm told.

- Well, I just want to say,
it's awesome to see

another floor supervisor
doing so well.

I think I speak for all
floor supervisors when I say

you are an inspiration.

- Oh, okay.
Thank you.

- It's probably tough
on Jonah, though.

- Can't imagine
where this is going.

- I'm just saying--
making so much less money

than your girlfriend,
it's got to be emasculating.

Probably makes it tough
to get an erection.

- My erections are fine,
thank you.

- Fine? [chuckles]
Lucky lady.

- I'm actually shocked
you're not making more.

I mean, I thought a manager

would at least make more
than we do.

- She does.
- Uh, I don't think so.

- How much do you make?
- Same thing we all make--

$134,000 a year.

[all clamoring]

- How do you make
that much a year?

- 52 weeks times 30 hours
a week times minimum wage--

86 bucks an hour.

- No, no, no, no.
Minimum wage is $8.60 an hour.

- [gasp] I must have missed
a decimal point.

- So no part of you
thought to question

why you were making
$86 an hour to work retail?

- I thought
that's what we all made.

- [sighs]
- How do you guys live

on under $134,000 a year?

- I cut the budget.
I let people go.

- You're gonna
have to pay that back.

- Oh, now you're taking
his money?

The rich get richer.

- No, it goes back
to corporate, not to me.

- And who pays you?
Corporate.

Funny how that works.
Follow the money, people.

- I can't pay that money back.

I'm living hand to mouth
as it is.

- I always say,
"Mo' money, mo' problems."

- That's what you say?
You say that?

- ♪ I'm not crazy,
I'm just a little unwell ♪

♪ I know right now
you can't tell ♪

♪ But stay awhile
and maybe-- ♪

[Muzak playing]

- Oop! Does anyone need
any extra mayonnaise?

'Cause it's on me.

- [laughs]
Good one.

- It's nice that you can find
the humor in all this.

- Well, full disclosure--

I stole that
from "Hi and Lois."

- Hey, you know, if I was in
your shoes,

I'd just be thinking
about that $90,000 a year

that I walked away from.

You know, over the next 20
years, that's $1.8 million?

So I don't think anybody
would blame you

if you were a little upset.

- No, I'm fine.

Hey, but
do you feel like a BLT?

I do, 'cause I'm covered
in mayonnaise!

- [laughs]
BLT!

Oh, my God.
I am literally dead.

- No, Justine, it's not funny!

He's a miserable man,
and it's a terrible job.

Clean that up, dork.

- Uh-oh.

Clean up on aisle
have-what-she's-having.

- [laughing]
Stop!

I'm gonna pee my pants.

- Well, if you do,
I'll clean that up, too.

- Stop!
Oh, it's happening!

- Oh, God!
Yeah, yeah.

- [laughing]
Not again.

- Floor Supervisor
Mateo Liwanag

to Customer Service, please.

Floor Supervisor
Mateo Liwanag

to customer service.

[panting] Oh.

That's me. Got to take it.
[laughs]

Whoo!

- You know who you should date

is that hot guy that you
came in with last week.

- Oh, maybe.

Two problems--
he's gay, and he's my brother.

- Mm, I don't know.
You guys had good chemistry.

Oh, what happened here?
- I think it's slushie vomit.

And there's a whole
sandwich in the middle,

but I'm pretty sure someone
just dropped it in after.

- Yeah, probably.

People don't usually
eat those whole.

- [grunting]

- Are you okay?
- Oh.

My knees are just acting up.

I'm trying not to go
to the doctor

'cause I'm saving up
for a bike.

The bus driver keeps trying
to drive me to his house.

- Well, why don't you
go take a break?

I'll clean this up.
I can do this.

- What are you doing?
You're the manager--

not some vomit girl
like Sandra.

- It's fine.

Some of it is mine, actually,
you know, 'cause of the smell.

- Look, guys, it's not like

I'm above cleaning up
vomit now.

I'm still,
"Amy from the block, girl."

- Thank you.
- Amy, corporate just sent you

a welcome basket
with champagne.

Where should I put it?
- Just anywhere.

Anywhere is fine.

- Okay,
I'll put it in your Lexus.

- Whoa.
You have a Lexus?

- No, of course not.

- There's also a man outside
waiting for you

with your company car.

It's a Lexus.

- Oh, uh, well...

I guess I should probably go
sign for it, then.

Um, sorry.

Next time.
Can I just--

Sorry. Thank you.
- Ow. Ow.

[tense music]

- Yeah, you're gonna need
to get all of that.

.

- I don't know how I'm gonna
pay back corporate. I'm broke.

- How?
You live with your mother.

Your car
doesn't have any doors.

And you've been making
$134,000 every year

for the last six years.

Where does all the money go?
- I don't know.

I get the guacamole
from Chipotle every time.

- Excuse me, do you sell any
books by David Foster Wallace?

- Uh, no, sorry.

I keep suggesting it,

but the employees all just make
"Infinite Jest" of me.

[laughter]

- You're so funny.

Do you want to go outside
and do it in your car?

- Uh...

- This young lady says

she was paid to seduce me,
record it on tape,

and then give that tape
to the store manager.

- I requested a nerdy
girl-next-door type.

You're just a bad girl they
stuck a pair of glasses on.

- Look, I'm sorry you're not
getting your security system,

but Amy and I
are not gonna break up.

I can't believe you hired
a prostitute.

Sorry, sex worker.
You have agency.

- So should I go?

- I paid for two hours.
You may as well help Justine

re-price towels to match
the new EDLPs.

Follow me.

Come on.

- Oh, hey, Amy,
this lady wants to use

her EBT card
to pay for diapers.

- Yeah, we can't do that.
They won't let us.

- Do you know how expensive
diapers are?

- Yeah, I do, actually.
I also have a baby.

- Well, you also make
$109,000 a year,

so you're not exactly
in the same boat.

- Well, I wasn't saying
that I was in the same boat.

I was just saying that I
understand the cost of diapers.

I mean, obviously, I can--
I can pay for diapers.

- Really?
Thank you.

That's generous of you.
- Oh, no, no. No.

Sorry, I wasn't saying

that I could pay
for your diapers.

- Oh.
- I mean, I would.

It's just that if I went around
buying everyone's diapers

who's on food stamps, I'd be
broke in, like, a day.

- Sure, it's fine.
I'll buy them myself.

God bless America.
- I know, right?

- I'm sorry. I just--I don't--
I don't understand

why it's my responsibility
to buy your diapers.

You know what?
Fine. Okay, cool.

Yeah, I can--
I can buy these diapers.

Run the card.

But I'm--I'm not paying
for the candy.

- Oh! So, because you're rich,
you know what's best for me,

and I'm just too fat for candy?

- No, that is not what I said.

I will pay for the candy,
obviously.

- Garrett, I just found
the funniest thing

while I was cleaning.

It was a rat inside
a used condom.

I was like, "How did you
get in there, little fella?"

- This is a bad job, okay?

This is a soul-crushing,
miserable place to work.

I know that.
I know that in my heart.

Nothing you say will ever,
ever take that away from me.

[Muzak playing]

- Okay.

See you later.

♪

- Hi!
Welcome to Cloud 9.

- Oh, why, thank you!

- Do you like cool savings?

- Yes, I do.

- Why not check out
our frozen treats in Grocery?

- Oh, I will.
Thank you so much.

Frozen treats.

♪

- Hey, Mateo, after I do
go-backs, I'm gonna take 15?

- Thanks, Joelle.

♪

Hmm.
[clears throat]

♪

- Everything okay?

- [sighs]
Rough day.

- Yeah, I heard.

If it makes you feel
any better,

I turned down sex
with a hooker for you.

- Oh!
That does make me feel better.

I can't wait for this day
to be over.

I need a drink.

- So let's go get a drink!

- It's the middle of the day.

- Oh, yeah.
That's right.

You don't want to get
in trouble with your boss.

Oh, wait.

- I'm the boss.

- Yeah, that's
where I was going with that.

- Let's go get a drink.
- All right.

But you're paying.

You won't stop bragging
about how much money you make.

- $109,000.
- All right, all right.

- Plus perks.
- What?