Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,355
- So we're competing with
all the other Cloud 9's
2
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,226
in the district and the branch
3
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:12,447
with the most combined steps
by the end of the week wins.
4
00:00:12,490 --> 00:00:14,057
- Oh, my God,
are these Apple watches?
5
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,451
- Close. They're
SuperCloud Step Trackers.
6
00:00:16,494 --> 00:00:18,279
- Awesome.
I was hoping to get something
7
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,672
worse than an Apple watch.
Yes! Thank you.
8
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,587
- I've actually been meaning
to get a pedometer
9
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:23,588
for my morning runs.
10
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,329
- Wait, you mean
when you walk down
11
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:27,114
the street to get
an everything bagel?
12
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,072
- It's at least a quarter mile.
13
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,595
- These are yours
to keep for the week.
14
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:33,511
You have to keep them on 24/7,
they are not waterproof,
15
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,339
and you can't get them
too hot or too cold
16
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,080
or they will burn your skin.
- Okay, I'm gonna
17
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,690
go ahead and pass.
- Don't worry.
18
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,301
There's a wheel chair setting.
- Oh, I'm not worried.
19
00:00:40,344 --> 00:00:42,694
it just sounds terrible.
- Well maybe this
20
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,131
will change your mind.
21
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:48,091
The number one store wins--
- What?
22
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,137
- You said you were
going to do--you know...
23
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,617
- What is that?
- The thing that we--
24
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:55,098
The thing we talked about
in the office this morning.
25
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,882
- What? You're talking
about firing Hannah?
26
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,710
I thought we were going to pull
her aside after the meeting.
27
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,888
The store with the most
combined steps
28
00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:05,456
by the end of the week wins
29
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,894
lunch with the
Regional Vice President.
30
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:12,898
Come on store 1217!
Let's get to stepping!
31
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,813
- Ow!
all: Ow!
32
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:18,556
- My ankle. Oh, oh, it's bad.
Oh, it's--yeah, it's bad.
33
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,995
It's bad! Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Son of a buttermilk!
34
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:26,216
- So Hannah, can I talk to you
outside for a second?
35
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:33,484
- What's the point
of the chat window?
36
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,095
- I think that's for us to text
37
00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:37,097
motivational messages
to each other.
38
00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,663
I'm not sure
our employees get that.
39
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:41,927
Brett1217 just wrote
#TheWalkingDead.
40
00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:45,322
- Ugh. We are in dead last
and Bel-Ridge is in first.
41
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:46,758
That's Colleen's branch.
42
00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:48,673
Oh, she probably thinks
she's so great,
43
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,067
walking around on her legs,
left foot, right foot.
44
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,155
We get it, Colleen.
45
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,287
- What's up with you
and Colleen?
46
00:01:53,330 --> 00:01:54,505
- What's up with you
and Colleen?
47
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:55,941
- Okay.
48
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:57,856
- It's too bad we don't stand
a chance of winning.
49
00:01:57,900 --> 00:02:00,337
I mean,
lunch with the Regional VP?
50
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,165
That would have been good
for my management track.
51
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,732
- You do come alive at lunch.
52
00:02:03,775 --> 00:02:05,386
- I really do.
- Oh, screw it.
53
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,127
Let's motivate these people
and go for the gold.
54
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,432
- Yeah,
that's not going to happen.
55
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,217
We're not really
the "Get to Steppin'"
56
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:12,001
kind of store.
Remember our last fire drill?
57
00:02:12,044 --> 00:02:14,003
Half the people got winded
and just didn't make it out.
58
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,222
- You know what?
I'm with Dina.
59
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:16,788
We're underdogs
but a lot of the times
60
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,442
it's the underdogs
that end up winning.
61
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:19,704
- That's not true.
They just make movies
62
00:02:19,748 --> 00:02:21,445
about the few underdogs
that do.
63
00:02:21,489 --> 00:02:24,144
Like, for every Rudy
there are 10,000 short guys
64
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:25,623
who just never make the team.
65
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:28,278
- I'm just saying, if you want
that lunch with the VP.
66
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,847
- All right,
let's see what we can do.
67
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,327
- Oh, look at this.
68
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:36,721
Colleen1420: Loving this
steps comp! Go Bel-Ridge!
69
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:39,463
Oh, God. Message received,
you smug skank.
70
00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:41,030
- She's a real monster, huh?
71
00:02:41,073 --> 00:02:43,728
- Yeah. If I had to choose
between Colleen and Sandra--
72
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:46,209
well, I mean,
I'd kill them both.
73
00:02:53,564 --> 00:02:59,353
- All right store 1217,
let's get ready for stepping!
74
00:02:59,396 --> 00:03:01,833
There she is!
Speedy leg Sarah!
75
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:05,576
Let's see them legs go, Girl!
Heather? Hot stepping heather?
76
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,404
Heather with the hot steps?
77
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:12,017
Freddy! Freddy on fuego!
Fuego Freddy.
78
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,541
- Mateo, I can see you.
79
00:03:13,584 --> 00:03:15,499
Let's put some hustle
in it, baby.
80
00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:20,504
- Okay, I don't know what
"this" is but this is cashmere.
81
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:22,506
So no,
I will not be sweating today.
82
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:25,944
- Just take your sweater off!
No, no, sir. Not you.
83
00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:29,774
I was talking to my co-worker.
Please keep your clothes on.
84
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:34,692
- And getting 10,000 steps
a day reduces stress,
85
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:38,653
it lowers your blood pressure
and increases your lifespan.
86
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:42,091
- Yeah, I don't care. I don't
plan on living past 30 anyway.
87
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:45,660
- 30? You're,
um, you're under 30?
88
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,357
- What?
89
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:50,186
- Nothing. Wow. Yeah.
You look good.
90
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,580
- Come on, you have to take
this competition seriously.
91
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:54,451
- I don't think I do.
- God, you're lazy.
92
00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:55,626
Why can't you be one of those
93
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:57,367
inspirational guys
in a wheelchair?
94
00:03:57,411 --> 00:03:59,456
- Hm. All right.
95
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:03,025
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.
96
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:06,289
- Are you trying to--I mean,
you're not suggesting
97
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,335
that going backwards
would take away steps.
98
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:09,814
- Of course not.
Why would it?
99
00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:12,948
- Seriously, stop.
I know it's not happening
100
00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:16,386
it's just that it's a--it's
a safety issue at this point.
101
00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:19,607
- Huh. I swear that number
was bigger before.
102
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:23,350
- Fine. I'll just double
my steps to make up for it.
103
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:25,874
- Move!
104
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:31,749
- Glenn, do you need help?
- Hm? Oh, no I'm fine.
105
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:35,013
Ah--it's just a little sprain
but I've got to use
106
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,754
this thing all week long.
107
00:04:36,798 --> 00:04:39,757
Still, it's kind of cool, huh?
108
00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:41,977
It's like I'm a motorcycle man.
109
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:45,502
Yeah,
vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom.
110
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,504
- So cool.
- Yeah.
111
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:49,724
Are you sure you got it?
- Oh, yeah. Easy peasy.
112
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:54,250
Just--
a bit of a hill here.
113
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,731
Am I--I'm going backwards.
- Put your other foot down!
114
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,298
- I can't stop!
- Put your other foot down!
115
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,343
- No, I can't!
I'm too scared!
116
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,607
- We only got a 148 steps
in the last hour?
117
00:05:03,651 --> 00:05:06,654
How is that even possible?
- It's shockingly sedentary.
118
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,960
- Oh, there she goes again.
Colleen1420.
119
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:12,050
"Everybody's doing great!
Cloud 9 pride!"
120
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,487
- Oh, she is the devil.
121
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,358
- It's a shame this store
doesn't have a Colleen.
122
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:17,229
- I will burn my face off
if she takes my job.
123
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,667
- I just mean, nobody's even
trying because nobody cares
124
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:22,974
about beating some random store
locations on a scoreboard.
125
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,889
People need a nemesis
to compete against.
126
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:27,065
- So what are you saying?
If we start trash talking
127
00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:28,937
Bel-Ridge
that's going to inspire people?
128
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:31,548
- Maybe. All the best wars
are fought against someone.
129
00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:33,245
- That feels random.
- All wars are
130
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,160
fought against someone.
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
131
00:05:35,204 --> 00:05:36,510
- No, I'm saying "all" wars.
132
00:05:36,553 --> 00:05:38,120
- Yeah, all the best wars.
133
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,382
- What are the best wars?
134
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,777
- 1812, WWI, WWII,
French Indy.
135
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,257
- Although, if they started
trash talking us first...
136
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:48,652
- Okay, what wars are you not
fighting against someone?
137
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,393
- War against poverty,
war against drugs.
138
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,352
Boom. Don't come at me.
- Come on.
139
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:02,231
- "Ozark Highlands?
More like Slowzark Highlames."
140
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:05,669
- Ouch. I mean,
that's clever but it's mean.
141
00:06:05,713 --> 00:06:09,238
- Bel-Ridge1420?
Why is Bel-Ridge attacking us?
142
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:10,848
- Because those guys are dicks.
143
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:12,502
They always think
they're better than us.
144
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:14,809
- Come on,
don't take it personally.
145
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:17,507
It's just old-fashioned
sports banter like,
146
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,291
"See you at the finish line,
slow-poke!"
147
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,424
You know?
- "And their pear-shaped
148
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,513
manager is a real looser."
149
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:26,516
- That's probably
supposed to say "loser."
150
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,518
They were most likely
in a hurry.
151
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,433
- Maybe they should
take their time.
152
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,304
- Well that is both
personal and hurtful.
153
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:34,524
- Ugh, I can't believe
these guys are going to
154
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,091
beat us at the step contest.
155
00:06:36,134 --> 00:06:38,920
It just proves their point
about how slow we are.
156
00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:40,922
both: Mm-hmm.
- You know what we should do?
157
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:43,446
We should all start trying
harder and beat them.
158
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,796
- Oh, shut up, Sandra.
- No, no, no.
159
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:49,060
Don't shut up, Sandra.
That's a really good point.
160
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:51,715
- Yes, no, sorry.
Yeah, good point, Sandra.
161
00:06:51,759 --> 00:06:53,978
- Yeah, let's take it
to Bel-Ridge
162
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:56,851
and win this whole thing.
all: Yeah!
163
00:06:56,894 --> 00:06:58,374
- We can do this!
Come on!
164
00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,420
Give me a C--
all: Oh.
165
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,117
- Oh, jeez.
166
00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:04,424
- No, no, no, no, no.
Don't help him.
167
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,556
He needs to learn.
168
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,822
- Good hustle, Sayid.
- Marcus gave me
169
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,215
six energy drinks.
I feel great!
170
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,651
- Great! Keep stepping.
- I can't believe
171
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:16,261
how well this is working.
- I know.
172
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:17,915
I don't want to jinx it
but I'm already thinking up
173
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,482
anecdotes to throw in
at lunch with the VP.
174
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,005
- Are you going to tell him
about the time Lionel Richie
175
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:22,311
came in the store?
- How does that
176
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:23,486
make me look good?
- I don't know.
177
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,661
it's just a cool story.
178
00:07:24,705 --> 00:07:26,097
- Man, my heart rate is flying.
179
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,272
I have not stopped
moving all day.
180
00:07:27,316 --> 00:07:28,491
Even when I went
to the bathroom.
181
00:07:28,535 --> 00:07:29,666
By the way, we need someone
182
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,015
to clean up the bathroom.
- Great.
183
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:32,452
Let's keep up the momentum.
184
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:34,584
- Got it.
- Check. Sandra! Bathroom duty!
185
00:07:34,628 --> 00:07:38,240
- Oh, excuse me, sir--
Can I get this in a--
186
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:41,373
Um, excuse me, do you--
do you work--
187
00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:45,900
- Great job, Heather.
Walk and fold, walk and fold.
188
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:47,815
Mateo...
- Don't even.
189
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,294
I'm not going to get
all gross just because
190
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,818
Bel-Ridge said
some dumb things.
191
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,515
- Relax, I'm not going
to pressure you.
192
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:55,344
I'm actually really impressed
at how chill you've gotten.
193
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,215
You used to be so competitive
about everything.
194
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,783
- Well, I'd like to think
I've matured over the years.
195
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,524
- Yeah, totally.
196
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:03,526
Back when you started you
probably would have been like,
197
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,224
"Ah! When corporate sees how
few steps I'm taking
198
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:09,053
they're going to think I'm not
the number one worker."
199
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,403
- Wait, they can track
our individual scores?
200
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,362
- Well, I mean,
they didn't say they could,
201
00:08:13,405 --> 00:08:15,669
but they didn't say
they couldn't.
202
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:18,889
It's fine. Even if you're not,
like, a superstar it's--
203
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:21,979
it's totally acceptable to be
a everyday,
204
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:24,155
run-of-the-mill,
average worker.
205
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:28,856
- Average? Are you insane?
206
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:31,554
Damn it. I have to
make up for lost time.
207
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,121
Stop talking to me!
208
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:38,561
- ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh,
whoa, oh ♪
209
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:41,608
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
210
00:08:41,651 --> 00:08:44,045
♪ Whoa, oh, whoa...
211
00:08:44,088 --> 00:08:45,612
- Look at me, Jonah.
212
00:08:45,655 --> 00:08:49,006
I'm an MVP player
injured before the big game,
213
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:51,226
and I'm not even sure that,
like, my tracker
214
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,358
is counting my steps properly.
215
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,056
- Maybe you just wanna--you
wanna swing your arm,
216
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,623
you know, at the same time.
- What do you mean?
217
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,930
- Like, swing your arm as--
as you're--you're moving.
218
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,193
- Like this?
- Yeah, sure and then--
219
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:04,108
but then use
your other hand to steer.
220
00:09:04,152 --> 00:09:06,546
- Well I'm trying that,
but that part is hard.
221
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,025
I mean, is this better?
- Right--no, mostly.
222
00:09:08,069 --> 00:09:09,331
- Or is this worse?
I can't tell.
223
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,854
- You're doing good,
you're just
224
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,377
kinda--you're going around in
circles.
225
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:14,510
- Well, I know I'm going
'cause I'm getting dizzy.
226
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,169
♪ Can we forget about...
227
00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:23,519
- Come on people,
get off your asses.
228
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,477
If you've got time to
talk you've got time to walk.
229
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,089
When you sit,
Bel-Ridge wins, okay?
230
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,917
So let's move.
Sandra, if you're looking
231
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,483
for your lunch I put it
up on the roof.
232
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:33,050
That will give you
a couple hundred extra steps.
233
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,009
Go get 'em, tiger.
- But it's snowing,
234
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,359
and I brought soup.
235
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,840
- Elias, I saw one of our carts
down at the gas station.
236
00:09:39,883 --> 00:09:41,450
I need you to walk over there
and take it back.
237
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:44,018
- Which gas station?
- I don't remember!
238
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,933
Check them all!
Go!
239
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,109
Go! Go! Go!
240
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:51,634
- Excuse me, do you have
any gender-neutral toys?
241
00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:52,679
I'm trying to be cool.
242
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:53,984
- Oh, definitely. Follow me.
243
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,029
- Oh, wasn't that
the toy aisle?
244
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:57,074
- Oops! It was. Passed it.
245
00:09:57,118 --> 00:09:58,641
Guess we have to go
all the way around.
246
00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:02,950
- ♪ Every 1's a winner, baby,
that's no lie ♪
247
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:07,519
♪ You never fail to satisfy
248
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:09,304
- How are we still
only in fifth place?
249
00:10:09,347 --> 00:10:10,740
- Fifth is good,
we moved up.
250
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,046
You should be happy.
251
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,656
- Oh, what medal
do you get for fifth?
252
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,093
Mm? None. What you get
is a slap in the face
253
00:10:16,137 --> 00:10:17,529
and then dad makes you
walk behind the car
254
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,489
the whole way home.
- I am so sorry, Dina.
255
00:10:20,532 --> 00:10:22,317
- We have to find a way
to make these people
256
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,536
push themselves harder.
- Everybody's already pushing
257
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,669
themselves pretty hard,
and most of them
258
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:28,149
are not wearing deodorant.
259
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,759
It's bad.
- I'm with Amy on this one.
260
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,065
I think she and I
are just less comfortable
261
00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:32,501
being losers than you are.
262
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,677
- I'm just saying
we're on a good track, okay?
263
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,418
No need to overdo it.
264
00:10:36,984 --> 00:10:38,899
- I don't know,
maybe he's right.
265
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,204
- He could be right.
266
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,120
But he could be wrong.
- That's what I was thinking.
267
00:10:43,164 --> 00:10:45,732
- This is just awful.
268
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:48,996
What is wrong
with the people over there?
269
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,172
- This has gone too far!
270
00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:55,089
- Yeah. Yeah.
This is definitely overboard.
271
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:57,308
- Are we absolutely sure
it was Bel-Ridge?
272
00:10:57,352 --> 00:10:58,701
We could check
the security footage.
273
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:01,138
- Sandra, they literally
signed it Bel-Ridge.
274
00:11:01,182 --> 00:11:02,705
What more proof do you need?
275
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:06,578
- They used the wrong
"you're," it's apostrophe R-E.
276
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:09,930
- Yeah, 'cause they're stupid.
- Or maybe they were tired
277
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:12,323
or it was dark out.
Or whatever.
278
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,238
B-but they were
probably just stupid.
279
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:16,501
- Hey, is anyone else tired
of being humiliated by a bunch
280
00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:19,287
of idiots that don't even
understand basic contractions?
281
00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:21,289
all: Yeah.
- I am.
282
00:11:21,332 --> 00:11:22,682
- You know what we should do
about it?
283
00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,509
- Yeah,
report them to the police.
284
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:26,729
- No, no that seems
a little bit much.
285
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:30,777
We should step it up in this
challenge and beat them.
286
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,169
- Yeah, enough is enough!
287
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,998
This just got very personal!
- Mm.
288
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:36,739
- Let's end those
sons of bitches!
289
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:40,961
- Let's destroy Bel-Ridge!
- I am so sick of this !
290
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,360
- Sandra?
- Yeah?
291
00:11:49,404 --> 00:11:51,145
- Why don't you take
your ten now.
292
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,755
Okay?
- Okay, yeah.
293
00:11:55,802 --> 00:11:59,414
- So you got up at 4:00 a.m.,
got spray paint
294
00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:02,852
and shaving cream, came all
the way here to vandalize
295
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:07,204
our own store, just to get
people to step more?
296
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:08,510
- Nope. 3:00 a.m.
297
00:12:08,553 --> 00:12:09,772
I had to take Parker
to my parent's house.
298
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,295
I told them that Adam
had been arrested
299
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,167
and I had to bail him out.
- I played the impatient
300
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,864
officer who kept calling
Amy saying that she needed
301
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:16,170
to come get him
because he was exposing
302
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:18,128
himself to the guards.
- You know,
303
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:19,477
a part of me feels
like you guys are
304
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,088
taking this a little too far.
305
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,916
- Hey man, you're the one
who was all,
306
00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:25,353
"Let's start a pretend
rivalry with Bel-Ridge.
307
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:27,921
Let's do whatever it takes."
- See, I don't remember
308
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,836
the "let's do whatever it
takes" part.
309
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:35,450
- Whew! Hey!
Sorry I'm late.
310
00:12:35,493 --> 00:12:36,973
I walked to work.
311
00:12:37,017 --> 00:12:40,411
There is really no easy way
to cross a highway
312
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,936
but I logged 8,000 steps.
313
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,328
- Yes!
314
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,678
- I'm going to do some laps
around the perimeter.
315
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:49,420
- Go, Mateo!
- Here we go!
316
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,988
- What? He's getting in shape.
It's good for him.
317
00:12:52,032 --> 00:12:53,555
- And really,
this early there's barely
318
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,078
any cars on the highway.
319
00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:08,091
- I'm sending a strongly worded
email to the Bel-Ridge manager
320
00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:11,834
about this morning.
Tell me if it's too mean, okay?
321
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:14,054
- "Good morning, Doug"--
exclamation point.
322
00:13:14,097 --> 00:13:16,578
"I was hoping to discuss
an unfortunate matter
323
00:13:16,621 --> 00:13:18,101
that happened at our store."
324
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,277
- Wow, you're really
going for the jugular, huh?
325
00:13:20,321 --> 00:13:21,801
- Wha--is that too harsh?
326
00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:24,281
- Is a knife
through the heart too harsh?
327
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,892
- Yes, way too harsh!
328
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,284
- Well then maybe
you ease into it.
329
00:13:27,328 --> 00:13:29,765
Flatter him a little bit.
Butter him up.
330
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,898
- Okay, well, what do I say?
331
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,030
- All right,
just write what I say.
332
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,206
- Thank you.
- "Dear Doug,
333
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,818
I think about you
all the time."
334
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:41,081
- Oh, that is nice.
Yeah.
335
00:13:41,124 --> 00:13:43,431
- "The other day I was at
the mall and I saw a jacket
336
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:46,477
and thought, 'Doug would look
really great in that.'"
337
00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:48,610
- Yeah, but we're going to talk
about the vandalism, right?
338
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:51,613
- Oh, yeah. Oh, we're going
to dive right into it.
339
00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:54,398
- Have you heard
the new Adele song?
340
00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:56,618
- You could just hit--
do a simple reset.
341
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,272
- Hey, steppy-peeps.
342
00:13:58,315 --> 00:14:01,101
Seeing a lot of the mouths
moving, not so much the feet.
343
00:14:01,144 --> 00:14:03,930
- My scanner's not working.
We can't figure out why.
344
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:06,106
- You don't think-- wait,
do you think Bel-Ridge
345
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,629
could have messed
with it last night?
346
00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:10,284
- No...I mean, maybe.
347
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:13,678
It wasn't broken yesterday,
and it is broken today.
348
00:14:13,722 --> 00:14:15,115
- I wouldn't be surprised.
349
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,117
Those guys will stoop
to literally anything.
350
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,902
- Oh, my God. I brought a girl
back to my place last night
351
00:14:19,946 --> 00:14:22,644
and after I fell asleep
she stole all my stuff.
352
00:14:22,687 --> 00:14:24,037
Could Bel-Ridge
have gotten to her?
353
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,387
- Yeah. That has Bel-Ridge
written all over it.
354
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:29,216
- I relapsed and started taking
Vicodin last night.
355
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:32,132
- Well, you know what I like
to do when I'm that angry?
356
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:35,309
I like to take
all that anger and turn it
357
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:38,878
into pure raw leg energy.
358
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:41,837
Just stomp it out.
Try it.
359
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:45,058
Ugh. Just stick it to
Bel-Ridge, you know?
360
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,842
Step it out.
361
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,496
There you go. Keep going.
- Oh, wow.
362
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:51,107
- When I came to this morning,
somebody from Bel-Ridge
363
00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:53,327
had thrown up all over
my entire body.
364
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,590
- I can't believe
nothing is our fault.
365
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,380
- Elias, there is definitely
a cart out there.
366
00:15:03,424 --> 00:15:05,339
Probably just rolled farther
than I thought.
367
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,167
Mateo, have you taken
your lunch break, yet?
368
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,516
- No time!
369
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,821
- Look,
just try walking faster.
370
00:15:09,865 --> 00:15:11,519
It's probably outpacing you.
371
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:12,999
- Hey there.
372
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:15,392
Can I return an item purchased
at another store?
373
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,872
- Yeah, sure,
that's not a problem.
374
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,962
- Great, I got it in Bel-Ridge.
375
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,529
- Are you kidding me?
376
00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:23,531
- No.
377
00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:27,143
A frickin' Bel-Ridge lover
wants us to take their garbage?
378
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:30,494
No, sir.
- Look, He's laughing at us.
379
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:31,887
- I'm not laughing.
380
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,889
- I think he's just,
like, a smiley guy.
381
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,238
- Thing are getting ugly.
382
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,849
I think we need to
turn down the heat a bit.
383
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:40,374
- No, no, no.
You got to keep the heat up.
384
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:42,767
- Hey, you know what?
If you love Bel-Ridge so much--
385
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:45,292
- Then you should marry it.
- No, dude, I was going to say
386
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:47,163
then you should
just go back there.
387
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:48,904
Sick burn, though.
You're getting really good.
388
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,688
Just don't interrupt me.
- It's fine.
389
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:52,560
It's--
it's totally under control.
390
00:15:57,478 --> 00:16:00,263
- The Bel-Ridge store was
vandalized last night.
391
00:16:00,307 --> 00:16:02,004
all: Ohh.
- Wait, what?
392
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,440
- Someone broke into
their break room
393
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,748
and covered everything
in hot deer urine.
394
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,533
The smell was so bad
they had to burn their couches.
395
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:10,839
- I got a question.
396
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,624
How did they know it was
deer urine and also hot?
397
00:16:13,668 --> 00:16:15,583
- Well, apparently
the vandals left a note
398
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:18,368
next to
a Super Soaker they used.
399
00:16:18,412 --> 00:16:20,762
No one here was involved,
right?
400
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:24,940
- Uh, no. We totally didn't
cover their entire break room
401
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,681
in steaming hot deer urine.
402
00:16:26,724 --> 00:16:29,249
- Okay, it's not that
I think that you're lying,
403
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:32,165
but your tone and your phrasing
are really weird.
404
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:34,080
- Glenn, come on.
Obviously they did it.
405
00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:37,126
Marcus is always bragging about
his Super Soaker collection.
406
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,998
- Whatever,
Bel-Ridge started it.
407
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:40,825
- What should we
do with them next?
408
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,262
Oh, we could go egg their cars.
409
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:44,568
- Oh, yeah.
- We should slash their tires.
410
00:16:44,612 --> 00:16:45,700
- Yeah!
411
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,745
- That would just
make them walk more.
412
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:48,833
We should "I, Tonya" them.
413
00:16:48,877 --> 00:16:50,966
- Okay, guys.
We're even now.
414
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,794
Let's just focus
on the steps challenge.
415
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:54,926
- Hey, if they didn't want
to get into a war
416
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,928
then they shouldn't have
started talking trash about us.
417
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:59,279
- Bingo.
- Well maybe it wasn't them.
418
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:02,456
Maybe it was actually Kirkwood
who wanted us to think
419
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:04,240
it was Bel-Ridge so that
we would fight each other
420
00:17:04,284 --> 00:17:05,720
and Kirkwood could win.
421
00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:08,636
- What a crazy big conspiracy
that would be
422
00:17:08,679 --> 00:17:11,204
to win a regional workplace
step competition.
423
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,380
- Does anyone know how to make
a Molotov cocktail?
424
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,382
- Vodka, ginger beer, and lime.
425
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,297
- Don't ask me how but I can
426
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:19,342
totally get us anthrax
in two hours.
427
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,083
- We should burn down
their entire store
428
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,432
and blame it on
homeless people.
429
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:25,653
all: Yeah!
- Guys, it wasn't Bel-Ridge!
430
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,220
It was--it was me.
431
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:28,830
- What?
- Oh, my God.
432
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:32,094
- I am the one who posted
those messages on the board
433
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:33,617
and vandalized
the front of the store.
434
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:39,014
- Why would you do that?
- I wanted to win.
435
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,104
- Amy, Amy, Amy.
436
00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,367
This is wildly disappointing.
437
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,108
- Dina helped!
438
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:48,545
- Oh, you're going to believe
the admitted liar? Come on.
439
00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:51,461
- Wait a minute.
So you made me take deer urine
440
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:54,377
all the way down to
their store, heat it up
441
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,032
in their microwave
and then dump it
442
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,947
all over an innocent couch?
443
00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:00,688
- How do you even
think of this stuff?
444
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,690
- You're sick, Amy!
- No, I didn't--that wasn't--
445
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:05,823
- You turned us into monsters!
- Hold up.
446
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:07,347
Did you also lie
about corporate?
447
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,523
Do they not know
I'm a superstar?
448
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,134
- They might.
- I haven't slept.
449
00:18:12,178 --> 00:18:14,005
I haven't eaten.
450
00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:17,139
I got clipped by a KIA
on the highway, Amy!
451
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,533
Ugh!
Excuse me.
452
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:22,101
- You look skinny.
- Thank you!
453
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:33,416
- Okay,
tell me how this sounds.
454
00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,157
"Dear Doug, I am so sorry--"
- Whoa!
455
00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:38,378
You're going to go there after
the whole deer urine thing?
456
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,902
You might as well just say,
"Deer Urine Doug."
457
00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:42,730
- Okay, no "Dear."
458
00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:47,517
Um, how about, "My--"
- Beloved.
459
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:51,521
- "Beloved Doug." Yeah.
- Much better.
460
00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:55,830
- Oh, boy.
People are mad at you.
461
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:57,658
- Well, thanks for having
my back, Dins.
462
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,181
- Hey, you spearheaded
this thing.
463
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,313
Captain goes down
with the ship.
464
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,531
- Oh, come on. You know what?
465
00:19:01,575 --> 00:19:03,577
Nobody's even
thinking about it.
466
00:19:04,969 --> 00:19:06,797
That could be about anything.
467
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,148
- You know, I spoke to Glenn
and it turns out
468
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:12,063
the regional VP has nothing to
do with promoting managers.
469
00:19:12,107 --> 00:19:16,851
- So really this whole slide
into fascism was for nothing.
470
00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:18,069
- Nah, it was fun.
471
00:19:18,113 --> 00:19:19,375
- Excuse me,
which was is break room?
472
00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,072
- It's just through the doors.
- Thanks.
473
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:24,424
- The worst part about this
is that Colleen wins again.
474
00:19:24,467 --> 00:19:26,208
- Seriously, what's the deal
with this woman?
475
00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,341
Did she,
like, kill somebody you love?
476
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:30,560
- Let's just say the St. Louis
Ornithology Society
477
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:32,823
is nothing
but a popularity contest.
478
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,260
- Hey, who was that guy?
479
00:19:34,303 --> 00:19:37,045
- Just now? I don't know,
doesn't he work here?
480
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,438
- I've never seen him.
Have you?
481
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:40,135
- No. Wait, you don't know him?
482
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,616
I mean, you were talking to him
like he was an old pal.
483
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,139
- I told him where
the break room is.
484
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,445
- Yeah,
but it was how you said it.
485
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,837
It seemed like it
was an inside joke.
486
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:48,578
- What would be the joke?
- I don't know.
487
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:51,451
Between you and that guy.
- Well maybe he's new.
488
00:19:51,494 --> 00:19:54,758
Or, like, from another branch
or something.
489
00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:56,369
Oh, .
490
00:19:56,412 --> 00:19:58,153
- Whoa.
- What happened in here?
491
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:01,461
- My beautiful break room.
492
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:03,114
Jerusha made this.
493
00:20:03,158 --> 00:20:06,248
- Amy, why would you do this?
- No, I didn't do this!
494
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:07,771
This was actually Bel-Ridge.
495
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,686
- It's true. I just got a text
from Colleen.
496
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:13,081
It says, "Clean up on aisle
'your break room.'"
497
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:14,300
Damn, she's funny.
498
00:20:14,343 --> 00:20:15,997
- We need to retaliate.
- Mm-hmm.
499
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,608
- No, guys.
Wasn't this the retaliation?
500
00:20:18,652 --> 00:20:21,263
You hit them, they hit us back.
We're even now.
501
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:24,397
- Uh-uh. We hit them at a four,
but they hit us at a seven.
502
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,660
So now we owe them.
Like, three.
503
00:20:26,703 --> 00:20:28,575
- But if we get them back
they're just going to get us
504
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:30,141
back and then
where does it end?
505
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:31,708
- When we get them back
after that.
506
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,580
- He's right.
That's the natural end of this.
507
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:36,322
- Or we could just turn
the other cheek, right, Glenn?
508
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,280
- What, so they can slap
the other cheek?
509
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:40,413
No, Amy, you don't back down
from a bully.
510
00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,589
- I got to agree.
If we don't hit them back
511
00:20:42,632 --> 00:20:44,504
they're going to think
they can walk all over us.
512
00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,332
- I say we all go over there
and destroy
513
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,637
their break room.
all: Yeah.
514
00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,813
- Let's destroy
their whole store!
515
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,034
- I think we just got to go
516
00:20:53,077 --> 00:20:54,905
with the mob on this one.
517
00:20:56,690 --> 00:21:00,171
- All right, screw Bel-Ridge!
Let's go get those dicks!
518
00:21:00,215 --> 00:21:01,216
all: Yeah!
519
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:02,609
- Let's escalate this thing
520
00:21:02,652 --> 00:21:04,872
and assume they'll
let it go after that!
521
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:06,352
- Yeah, let's escalate.
522
00:21:06,395 --> 00:21:08,615
- So should we drive separately
or maybe carpool?
523
00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:10,530
- I can drive people there but
I got to go home right after.
524
00:21:10,573 --> 00:21:11,705
- Should we get lunch
on the way?
525
00:21:11,748 --> 00:21:13,446
- Yes.
- Oh, that's a good idea.
526
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:16,362
- My anthrax hookup
is not replying to my texts.
527
00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:18,538
Does anybody else
have an anthrax guy?
528
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,670
- Give him a minute.
You just texted him.
39445
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.