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1
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:05,222
.
2
00:00:05,266 --> 00:00:08,660
- Today is the start of a
brand-new corporate initiative:
3
00:00:08,704 --> 00:00:11,011
"Going the Extra Smay-zle!"
4
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,490
- A couple questions.
- Mm-hmm.
5
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:16,059
- What is a smayzle,
how do you go the extra one,
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:17,582
and what if you probably
weren't going
7
00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,889
the standard amount
of smayzles to begin with?
8
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:24,502
- Uh, I think it's supposed
to be "Going the Extra Smile,"
9
00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,287
'cause that rhymes with "mile"
10
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:29,159
and we have "aisles."
- One interpretation.
11
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:30,726
- Basically they just want
everyone to start
12
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:32,728
making small talk
with the customers.
13
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:36,384
- Oh, come on.
It'll be fun!
14
00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:40,866
You just put on your best
Cloud 9 smile...
15
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,172
And then talk about whatever.
16
00:00:42,216 --> 00:00:45,175
You know,
ask them about their purchases
17
00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:48,091
or ask about
their Thanksgiving plans.
18
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,658
Oh, you can talk
about your pets.
19
00:00:49,701 --> 00:00:51,181
- Does that include
exotic pets?
20
00:00:51,225 --> 00:00:52,748
- Oh, Sandra,
for the last time.
21
00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:55,707
There's nothing exotic
about a cat with dementia.
22
00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,535
- The point is,
23
00:00:57,579 --> 00:01:01,452
human connection is what sets
us apart from online retailers.
24
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:02,975
That's our secret weapon.
25
00:01:03,019 --> 00:01:06,022
- Oh, so this is how corporate
plans on taking down Amazon?
26
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:09,069
By having Sandra
talk about her dying cat?
27
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,114
- He has plenty of time.
28
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:15,814
♪
29
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:19,514
- Ugh. I hate making
small talk with old people.
30
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,385
It's always a two-hour fiasco
about their children
31
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,474
or what race they're worried
about getting robbed by.
32
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,086
- It's so weird how they always
have the most time to talk,
33
00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:28,088
and yet, the least time
to live.
34
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:29,219
- Mm.
35
00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,742
Rock
- Yeah.
36
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:34,181
Boom!
Have fun.
37
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,532
Hi.
- Hi.
38
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:39,229
- This lady is going
to be helping you out today.
39
00:01:39,273 --> 00:01:40,665
- Okay, thank you.
- Oh, thank you.
40
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,930
- Hello.
both: Hi.
41
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,630
- Oh, I'm great.
- Good.
42
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:50,719
- We're in town
visiting our son.
43
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:53,156
He's in medical school.
- That's lovely.
44
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,506
- You wouldn't believe
some of his stories.
45
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,769
I'm just going to give you
the top ten.
46
00:01:58,814 --> 00:02:01,947
- Ah, that is a fantastic drill
you're looking at.
47
00:02:01,991 --> 00:02:05,255
- Yeah. What's the difference
between this one and the F590?
48
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:06,648
- Uh, you know, well,
49
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,302
they--they both have
their pros and cons.
50
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:12,132
You know, this one is red,
51
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:13,872
so that's a plus--
52
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:15,309
if you like red.
53
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:19,574
It also drills, like,
super deep holes.
54
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:22,054
Uh, or--or less deep,
you know,
55
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:25,710
if you just don't push
it in all the way.
56
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:26,929
- Hello there.
57
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:29,758
I just wanted to say
thank you for supporting
58
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,326
local retail instead
of shopping online.
59
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:35,024
- To be honest, I probably
would've bought this on Amazon,
60
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:36,547
but I needed it today.
- Ah.
61
00:02:36,591 --> 00:02:38,332
- Oh, you know they have
same
62
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:39,637
- Okay, nobody asked you.
63
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,291
- Don't you have to pay
for Prime?
64
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:42,814
- Ah!
- Oh, it's totally worth it.
65
00:02:42,858 --> 00:02:45,208
You get free shipping
plus movies, music.
66
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,644
- We--we've got music.
67
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,820
Go check out
our CD selection.
68
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,822
It's all on clearance.
69
00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:53,303
Wait, what are you doing?
Don't--don't put it back.
70
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:55,479
- No, I don't want it anymore.
71
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:57,481
- Well, too late.
You touched it, you bought it.
72
00:02:57,525 --> 00:03:01,398
- Yup, yup.
It's pretty comfortable.
73
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:06,316
He's on his feet
all day at the hospital.
74
00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,405
Did I mention
he's in medical school?
75
00:03:08,449 --> 00:03:11,234
- Mm-hmm, you did.
Quite a few times.
76
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:12,453
- Uh, my hand just
touched your leg,
77
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,846
but didn't mean anything.
78
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,370
- I know.
79
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,546
- You know, my cousin
deep-fried a turkey last year,
80
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,200
but he didn't thaw it
completely.
81
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,462
Huge explosion.
82
00:03:21,505 --> 00:03:23,203
Bunch of his face
just melted clean off.
83
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,682
He's had to have a ton
of surgeries.
84
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,902
We keep telling him he looks
good as new, but
85
00:03:26,945 --> 00:03:29,078
really, he kind of looks like
one of those baseball mitts
86
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:30,340
from the 1920s.
87
00:03:30,384 --> 00:03:34,344
Anyway, be safe.
Gobble
88
00:03:35,606 --> 00:03:37,260
- Is that your idea
of going the extra smile?
89
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,957
Talking about your cousin
with no lips?
90
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,263
- Uh, he has lips.
91
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:41,743
They used them
to reshape his eyebrows.
92
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:42,787
You know, forget it.
93
00:03:42,831 --> 00:03:44,224
This is a stupid
initiative anyway.
94
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,355
- Hey, I'm there with you.
95
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:46,661
I do not like small talk,
96
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,402
and I hate smiling
all day like an idiot.
97
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,273
- Yeah, well it's harder
for you with that weak face.
98
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,753
How is my face weak?
99
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,450
- I don't know,
it's just not strong.
100
00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:55,322
- It's as strong as yours.
- Oh, please.
101
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,019
I have complete
musculofascial control.
102
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:59,064
When I was seven,
I corrected my own lazy eye.
103
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:00,370
I could out-smile you any day.
104
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:01,937
Okay, whatever.
105
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,765
- No.
106
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:05,854
- Yeah,
that would be stupid anyway.
107
00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:07,812
I mean,
how would we even test it?
108
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,379
- See who could smile
the longest,
109
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,425
but I don't see how
we'd enforce that.
110
00:04:11,468 --> 00:04:13,165
- It'd have to be
the honor system.
111
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,819
- Yeah, the honor system
would work, but
112
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,691
why would we even do it?
What're we doing it for?
113
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:18,780
- I like Scotch.
114
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:19,607
- So do I.
115
00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:21,522
I guess we're doing this?
116
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:23,263
- I guess so.
- On three.
117
00:04:23,306 --> 00:04:25,526
One, two, three.
118
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:29,791
- God, you have a creepy smile.
119
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,706
- So this one,
if I'm remembering correctly,
120
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:34,274
has a metal
half-ratcheting chuck
121
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:37,102
for superior
bit-gripping strength.
122
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,321
Yeah--oh, there it is,
right there.
123
00:04:38,365 --> 00:04:39,583
I was right.
124
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,106
- One question is...
125
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:42,847
Are these backwards compatible
126
00:04:42,891 --> 00:04:45,285
with the older generation
18
127
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,591
'Cause I'm installing a...
- Guess how he scored on his--
128
00:04:47,635 --> 00:04:49,811
- Oh, God.
- An AC unit in my shed,
129
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,552
and when it comes down to--
130
00:04:51,595 --> 00:04:52,944
- Oh, okay.
Oh, God.
131
00:04:54,381 --> 00:04:57,122
Scores only go to 528.
That's it.
132
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,950
- Hey, guys.
133
00:04:58,994 --> 00:04:59,995
What are you doing here?
134
00:05:00,038 --> 00:05:01,562
- Oh, how do you know...
135
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,824
- This is who we're visiting.
136
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,347
It's our son who's
in medical school.
137
00:05:04,391 --> 00:05:05,435
No--no, no.
This is--
138
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,523
- Hi!
Hi, I'm Jonah.
139
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,873
It's nice to meet you.
140
00:05:10,135 --> 00:05:11,311
- Oh.
141
00:05:13,356 --> 00:05:13,530
.
142
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:16,185
- ♪ You've got someone
there to say ♪
143
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,100
♪ I'll show you
144
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:24,498
- So, uh, just to clarify,
this is your son?
145
00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,413
- Right.
- Mm-hmm.
146
00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,066
- Oh.
147
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,460
And--and how long have you
been in medical school?
148
00:05:30,504 --> 00:05:31,896
I'm a third year.
149
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:34,682
- Wow. Three years.
150
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,379
That's...wow.
151
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:38,250
- Listen, do you carry
men's briefs?
152
00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,644
We need a men's small
or a boys' husky.
153
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,385
I think we can probably
154
00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:44,039
just find it on our own,
so thank you
155
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,867
so much for all
of your help,
156
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,217
uh, kind madam.
157
00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:50,175
- Okay, uh--thank you.
158
00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:53,527
- Children's underwear
in aisle 12.
159
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:55,920
- Hi, I need to return this.
160
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:59,141
It was a...anniversary present
for my wife,
161
00:05:59,184 --> 00:06:01,535
but...I don't need it anymore.
162
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,407
Oh, you know what?
163
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,670
We don't take back
engraved jewelry. Sorry.
164
00:06:06,714 --> 00:06:08,672
It was really expensive,
165
00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,544
and now I've got to pay
for a divorce
166
00:06:10,587 --> 00:06:12,328
and I don't have a job
anymore
167
00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:14,939
because her new boyfriend
is my now-ex-boss.
168
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,550
- Yikes, that's rough.
169
00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:19,901
- It's not funny.
I'm going through hell.
170
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,859
My life is literally hell.
171
00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:23,818
- Hey, man,
I don't think it's funny,
172
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,689
I'm just in this contest--
173
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:27,474
- Yeah, screw you!
174
00:06:28,475 --> 00:06:30,172
- Um...
175
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,783
I don't need
this dog collar anymore.
176
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,746
Mm-mm.
177
00:06:38,789 --> 00:06:40,225
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
178
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,403
- Oh, Dr. Simms.
Where are Richard and Marilyn?
179
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:46,362
- Uh, I told them I needed
a new 13-pin phone charger,
180
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,364
so that should confuse them
for a little bit.
181
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:52,063
Uh, look, I know this may all
seem a little weird...
182
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,935
- Insane.
Cuckoo Bananas.
183
00:06:53,978 --> 00:06:55,937
- Okay, uh, long story short:
184
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:57,329
I dropped out
of business school,
185
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,896
my parents kept asking me
what my plan was,
186
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,595
and I didn't want to tell them
I was working at Cloud 9--
187
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,466
that's not a judgment
on working here.
188
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,599
It's just my parents have
really high expectations.
189
00:07:05,642 --> 00:07:07,470
- That's so weird.
It was my parent's dream
190
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,472
that I would stock shelves
for a living one day.
191
00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:11,256
- Anyway, I told them
that I was thinking
192
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,043
about going to medical school,
which I was...kind of,
193
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,653
and then one thing
led to another
194
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:19,264
and now I'm doing
my rotation in hematology.
195
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:23,443
- I think it's--
uh, it's the study of blood--
196
00:07:23,486 --> 00:07:26,620
or not--mm, not blood itself,
but, like, the vessels or--
197
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:28,360
I don't know.
I have to Google it again.
198
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:30,232
- Got it.
So they're in electronics?
199
00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:31,625
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
wait, wait, wait.
200
00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:33,496
You're--you're not going
to say anything, are you?
201
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:35,019
- Oh, come on.
Give me some credit.
202
00:07:35,063 --> 00:07:36,630
I'm not going to out you
to your parents.
203
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,501
Okay.
- But I do think
204
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,372
it would be highly
irresponsible to let them leave
205
00:07:40,416 --> 00:07:42,418
without getting more
embarrassing childhood stories.
206
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,464
Ideally, they have photos.
207
00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,378
- No, no, that's--
you don't need to...
208
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:49,556
- Hello there.
How's your day going?
209
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:50,861
- Fine.
210
00:07:50,905 --> 00:07:52,950
- Wow, you've got quite
the full cart, huh?
211
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:57,999
You got a shovel, a tarp,
and some duct tape and...
212
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:01,742
kitchen knives
and garbage bags...
213
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:04,048
and a saw?
214
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:08,096
Whoo.
Big Thanksgiving plans?
215
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:10,533
- Just a small dinner
with my mom.
216
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,840
We have a lot
of catching up to do.
217
00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,494
Where do you keep your bleach?
218
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:19,281
I think
we're actually out of bleach.
219
00:08:20,021 --> 00:08:21,544
- It's fine.
I'll get it online.
220
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:22,763
- No!
221
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:26,375
Wait, we--we have bleach.
It's aisle nine.
222
00:08:26,418 --> 00:08:28,508
- You've been very helpful.
223
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,552
Thank you.
224
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:35,819
- His older brothers convinced
him it was a nude pool.
225
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:39,867
And so everyone at the Radisson
saw his tiny little tush.
226
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,566
- Okay, well, everybody's tush
was tiny at that age, so--
227
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:45,786
- He was so embarrassed that he
tried to hide under the water
228
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:49,093
until everyone left, and he...
He almost drowned.
229
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,400
- Jonah was always
almost drowning.
230
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,880
- True.
- It was a cry for attention.
231
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,186
- Okay guys, I don't think
the nice sales lady
232
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,666
needs to hear all of this.
233
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:59,190
- You know, actually, the more
I know about your life,
234
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,323
the more able I am
to direct you to items
235
00:09:01,366 --> 00:09:03,238
that would assist
you in your living space.
236
00:09:03,281 --> 00:09:05,066
- I don't see how
that's helpful.
237
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:07,416
- Well, you've never worked
retail, so...
238
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:09,374
- Well, he's in medical school.
239
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:10,593
- He is.
- Mm-hmm.
240
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,204
- So, tell me
about extracurriculars.
241
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:15,424
I'm thinking
captain of the football team?
242
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:16,947
- Not exactly.
243
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,735
I would have
never guessed that.
244
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:25,260
- Excuse me, do you know
anything about drills?
245
00:09:25,303 --> 00:09:27,436
- Oh, God, no.
Ew.
246
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:34,617
You know how you always tell us
247
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,141
not to leave
the Sudafed case open,
248
00:09:37,185 --> 00:09:38,578
especially when teens
are around,
249
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,623
'cause one of them might
distract you
250
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,669
with skateboard tricks
and all of their friends
251
00:09:42,712 --> 00:09:45,976
will come
and steal all the Sudafed?
252
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,325
Well, that happened.
253
00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:50,111
Are you serious?
254
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,808
- Guess it is kind of funny.
255
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,376
I was so scared that
you'd be mad at me.
256
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:56,291
- No, I am mad.
You're an idiot.
257
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,772
"You're an idiot!
I'm so angry!"
258
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:03,298
I love our jokey
"I hate you,
259
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,343
but I really love you"
back-and-forth.
260
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:08,956
- No, this is not a joke.
I really, really hate you.
261
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:11,698
- I "hate" you too.
262
00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,656
- He would brush the hair
263
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,397
of these strange
horse figurines
264
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,704
hour after hour, and then
when we'd take them away,
265
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:18,792
he'd start crying.
266
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,663
- Oh.
- He was always crying.
267
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:24,493
- Hey! I am so glad to see that
you're engaging with customers,
268
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:27,322
but I need you
to go empty the rat traps.
269
00:10:27,365 --> 00:10:29,716
They're overflowing with--
- Okay, I will get on it.
270
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,501
- No, I was talking--
- No, Glenn, I want to do it.
271
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:34,895
- Because...
272
00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,548
I love it.
273
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:40,509
Okay.
Knock yourself out.
274
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,642
Um, if she's doing the rats,
275
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:45,122
then I need you to go clean
the men's washroom.
276
00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:48,778
Someone did not make it to the
toilet in an explosive way.
277
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,301
- Excuse me, why are you
telling him
278
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,694
that he should
clean the bathroom?
279
00:10:51,738 --> 00:10:53,522
- Because I'm the one
who did it,
280
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:55,829
uh, and you caught me
red-handed,
281
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:58,483
so I'm gonna go ahead
and take care of that
282
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,485
and see you guys at home.
283
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:04,707
- We're his parents.
284
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,840
- Oh--oh, my!
285
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,364
Oh, it's...
It's so nice to meet you.
286
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,714
We have a lot of employees
go through this store...
287
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,846
- Glenn!
288
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,238
- But it has been
such a pleasure--
289
00:11:14,282 --> 00:11:15,979
- Oh!
290
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,851
- Ow!
291
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,330
Why?
292
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:23,160
.
293
00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,554
- ♪ Your kiss is on my list
294
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,947
- ♪ Because your kiss
- ♪ Your kiss
295
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,426
♪ Is on my list
296
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,515
♪ Because your kiss
is on my list ♪
297
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:31,734
- I'm sorry.
298
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,127
You were about
to give away his secret,
299
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,737
and I didn't
know how else to stop you.
300
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:37,348
- So you pegged me
in the face with a yam?
301
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,002
Why didn't you just shout,
"Hey Glenn,
302
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,091
I really need to talk to you?"
303
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,614
- 'Cause that
wouldn't have worked.
304
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,138
- Oh, yeah.
305
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,706
Hey, so, uh,
let me explain.
306
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:49,534
- I already told him.
- Yeah, I don't get it though.
307
00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:52,886
Why are you lying to your
parents about working here?
308
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,018
- I just--I didn't want
to disappoint them.
309
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:57,455
- Why would your parents
be disappointed
310
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:58,848
about you working at Cloud 9?
311
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:00,545
- No I--th-they,
they, they, well--
312
00:12:00,589 --> 00:12:04,245
- Because they're crazy people.
Their expectations are insane.
313
00:12:04,288 --> 00:12:05,768
- Yeah.
- They wouldn't have been happy
314
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,074
unless he was president.
315
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:09,772
- Yeah.
- That's ridiculous.
316
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:11,556
You're too short
to be president.
317
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,863
Even Jimmy Carter was 5'10".
318
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:15,473
- It's a good point.
319
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,127
Glenn, do you mind if
I clock out early
320
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,781
so I can leave with them?
321
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,785
- Sure, I guess.
- Thank you so much.
322
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,744
- And why did you
throw it at my face?
323
00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,790
Why didn't you just throw
it at my legs or my chest?
324
00:12:28,573 --> 00:12:31,794
- Because it had
to be the face.
325
00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,535
- Yeah, I know.
326
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:38,192
It's too bad,
'cause that really hurt.
327
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,237
- ♪ Coming down
328
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,762
♪ The world turned over
329
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,589
♪ And angels fall
330
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:48,071
- So you've just been lying to
your parents for three years?
331
00:12:48,115 --> 00:12:50,073
- You're a psycho.
You're, like, psychotic.
332
00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,075
It's like...
333
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:54,251
Psycho much?
- He's not a psycho.
334
00:12:54,295 --> 00:12:56,297
He's just a wuss who's
still afraid of his parents.
335
00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:57,907
What are they going to do,
take you off
336
00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,604
their cell phone plan?
- I'm not on their plan.
337
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:00,954
We're on a shared family plan,
338
00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:02,694
which actually
saves them money.
339
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,131
And you guys are telling me
340
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,785
none of you have ever
lied to your parents?
341
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,308
- I once stole money
from my mom,
342
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,092
and then I broke a window
and flushed her jewelry
343
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,833
down the toilet to make it
look like a robbery.
344
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,182
- Hmm.
- I used to tell my parents
345
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:14,097
I was meeting friends
at Imo's Pizza,
346
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:17,448
but really, I was eating
alone at Imo's Pizza.
347
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:19,276
- My parents still think
I'm straight.
348
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,497
I could be straight.
349
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,281
Oh, my God, a football.
350
00:13:24,325 --> 00:13:25,805
Throw!
351
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,415
- But at some point,
aren't you gonna
352
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:28,851
have to tell them
you work here?
353
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,461
- Not necessarily.
354
00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,637
I mean, why upset them
when I'm not going to be here
355
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:33,682
that much longer anyway?
356
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:36,772
- I don't know,
but it's not like
357
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,034
I'm going to be here
forever, you know.
358
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,427
This is all temporary.
359
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:42,647
- Oh. It's all temporary.
360
00:13:42,691 --> 00:13:44,345
- No, no, not at all, no, I--
361
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:48,044
there are definitely parts
of this job that I really like.
362
00:13:48,088 --> 00:13:50,612
I just don't know
where my life is going.
363
00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:51,961
- Cool.
- That's not--I--
364
00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,310
- I have to go put bait
in the rat traps.
365
00:13:53,354 --> 00:13:56,009
- No, you don't have--
- I love it.
366
00:13:58,185 --> 00:13:59,403
I hate to see her go,
367
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:02,885
but I love
looking at her butt.
368
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:05,845
See?
This is easy for me.
369
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:09,152
- Garrett, hey.
370
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:11,546
- Hey, Tiffany! Wow.
Long time no see.
371
00:14:11,589 --> 00:14:13,635
- Yeah, it's been, like,
three and a half years.
372
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,072
That long.
What have you been up to?
373
00:14:16,116 --> 00:14:19,989
- Well, mostly raising
this little guy.
374
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:24,428
Garrett, this is Jaylen.
Jaylen, this is your daddy.
375
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:25,690
- Hi, Daddy.
376
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:30,913
♪
377
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,697
- So you tracked down my
ex-girlfriend
378
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,264
who I haven't seen
in years
379
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,266
and paid her to say
I was the father of her child
380
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:38,312
just so I would
momentarily stop smiling
381
00:14:38,355 --> 00:14:40,357
and you could win
a stupid bet?
382
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,490
- Hey, when I play,
I play hard.
383
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,666
- Huh. Okay.
All right, let's do this then.
384
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:48,670
Someday, all the birds you have
are gonna die.
385
00:14:48,713 --> 00:14:49,932
- Doesn't bother me.
386
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,934
You're bad at sex,
and your penis is weird.
387
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,457
Really?
388
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:56,721
- Yeah, every time we had sex,
I was horny again by noon.
389
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:59,159
- Interesting.
Interesting.
390
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,204
- I just don't want to pay
for two boxes of crackers
391
00:15:01,248 --> 00:15:02,510
when I only bought one.
392
00:15:02,553 --> 00:15:04,816
- It was 1987.
Please, can we let it go?
393
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,951
- Hey, um, we're leaving, so...
394
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,779
- Yes, thank you
for all the help.
395
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,172
- Yeah, we told the cashier
396
00:15:12,215 --> 00:15:14,043
that you helped us, so...
397
00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:16,219
- Great, well, we don't work
on commission,
398
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:18,091
but I appreciate it.
Have a heavenly day.
399
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,919
- No, wait, Amy.
- No, I think her name
400
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,181
is Gabriella.
- No, no, no, no, Mom.
401
00:15:21,224 --> 00:15:22,965
Actually, it's Amy.
402
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,185
Um, she switches her name tag
all the time, and I know that--
403
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:26,577
- Jonah, you don't
have to do this.
404
00:15:26,621 --> 00:15:28,275
- Because I work here.
405
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,235
- He does.
406
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:35,456
Yup, he works
in the café all the time.
407
00:15:35,499 --> 00:15:37,806
He brings his med books,
and he studies--
408
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,590
- No, no, no that's--
that's not true.
409
00:15:39,634 --> 00:15:45,553
I have been working here as
an employee for three years.
410
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,513
This is my job.
411
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,081
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
412
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,604
It's just a lot to process.
413
00:15:56,042 --> 00:16:00,611
Oh!
414
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,004
- It's okay.
415
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:03,614
Listen,
we're gonna get through this.
416
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:07,836
- Okay, Mom, uh,
people are staring.
417
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,272
Could you...
418
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,535
- Look, we just want what's
going to make you happy,
419
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:14,495
and if managing this store
makes you happy,
420
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:15,757
then we're happy.
421
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:17,541
- Oh, I'm--I'm not the manager.
422
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:18,760
I'm just a floor worker.
423
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,286
- I'm just gonna sit
for a second.
424
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,162
- This is hard to watch.
425
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:34,471
.
426
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:37,474
- There is no easy way to say
this so, here it goes.
427
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,302
You're fired.
428
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:40,956
- Yup.
429
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,481
You are grossly incompetent
and unpleasant to be around,
430
00:16:44,525 --> 00:16:46,614
so why don't you just go
be a doctor
431
00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,398
or something else great.
432
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,748
- Okay, I--I see
what you're doing here.
433
00:16:50,792 --> 00:16:53,273
- No, I said get out of here,
Jonah!
434
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:57,451
Go chase your dreams and let
imagination be your guide.
435
00:16:57,494 --> 00:17:00,019
Glenn, um...
436
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:03,500
I appreciate whatever this is,
437
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,154
but you don't have
to worry about me, okay?
438
00:17:05,198 --> 00:17:07,504
I'm--I'm staying.
439
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:11,073
- Okay.
440
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,554
But I know that things
have been rocky
441
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,469
between you and your
parents lately,
442
00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,166
so if you need
a father figure...
443
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:19,386
- No, that's--thank you,
thank you.
444
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,388
I really--that's kind, but, um,
I'm okay.
445
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:23,129
- Yup.
446
00:17:23,172 --> 00:17:25,348
- Because we could go out back
and throw a ball around or...
447
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:27,394
- That's--that's okay.
448
00:17:27,437 --> 00:17:30,353
- Hey, um...
449
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:33,182
listen,
don't be too mad at Jonah.
450
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,097
I mean, if you think about it,
451
00:17:35,141 --> 00:17:37,839
he wants to please you so much
452
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:41,408
that he spent three years
constantly lying to you.
453
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:42,887
That's got to make you
feel good.
454
00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:45,847
- Yeah, not really, no.
Mm-mm.
455
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:49,981
- Well, look,
he was lying about his job,
456
00:17:50,025 --> 00:17:51,505
not about who he is.
457
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:54,377
He's a good person.
That is real.
458
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,901
She's right.
459
00:17:56,945 --> 00:17:59,556
I mean, if he's happy and
Natalie is okay with it...
460
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,862
- Well...
- We should be happy too.
461
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,081
- You're right.
462
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:03,212
Who's Natalie?
463
00:18:03,256 --> 00:18:05,084
- His fiancée.
464
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,871
Oh, I didn't know...
465
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:14,745
uh, and how long has--
has he been fiancée'd?
466
00:18:14,789 --> 00:18:16,530
- Well, um,
they've been dating
467
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,314
about three years now.
- Three years.
468
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:20,403
- Mm-hmm.
469
00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,449
- Wow, that's--that's--
that's as long
470
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:25,104
as I've known him.
Um...
471
00:18:25,147 --> 00:18:27,410
I'm sorry, I'm just--
I'm very weirded out
472
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:28,672
that I have never met her.
473
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:29,891
- Well...
- Well, we haven't either.
474
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:31,284
She's always off
somewhere filming.
475
00:18:31,327 --> 00:18:32,546
- No, she's an actress.
476
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,418
Have you seen
"The Garden States"?
477
00:18:35,853 --> 00:18:37,855
- Mm-hmm.
478
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,770
- Natalie...
479
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,250
I'm sorry,
what's her last name?
480
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:43,165
- Portman.
481
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,645
- Mm-hmm.
482
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,516
- Natalie Portman.
- Right.
483
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,476
- Jonah told you that he's
engaged to Natalie--
484
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,391
- Natalie Portman, mm-hmm.
485
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,915
- Oh, my God.
486
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:56,047
He was lying.
He was lying about that too.
487
00:18:56,091 --> 00:18:58,049
- Oh--
- No, I don't--I don't know.
488
00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,355
- I knew it was weird.
I knew it.
489
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,791
I read in that magazine article
490
00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:02,271
that she was married
to some dancer.
491
00:19:02,315 --> 00:19:05,622
Actually,
now that I am thinking about it
492
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:09,104
I have seen Natalie
in our store.
493
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:12,194
- And she was all up on Jonah.
494
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,328
Now--now I get it.
It totally makes sense.
495
00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:19,941
It was so nice
meeting you people.
496
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,072
- Well...
497
00:19:21,116 --> 00:19:22,726
that explains why
she wouldn't hug me
498
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:23,988
in the airport that time.
499
00:19:24,032 --> 00:19:26,730
Who?
500
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,079
- Do you ever think
about all the things
501
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,777
you can't do 'cause
you're in a wheelchair?
502
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,171
- Sometimes I do.
Sometimes I do.
503
00:19:34,085 --> 00:19:37,045
Your sister Denise
is a lot prettier than you.
504
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:40,266
And that's why your mom gave
her the grandfather clock.
505
00:19:40,309 --> 00:19:42,616
- Hmm. You may have a point.
506
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,834
Do you ever think about
507
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:45,227
how no one's ever
going to love you
508
00:19:45,271 --> 00:19:47,011
and you're going to die alone?
'Cause personally,
509
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,361
I think you are going
to die alone.
510
00:19:48,404 --> 00:19:50,754
- Oh.
Well, speaking of alone,
511
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:52,278
remember that time
when you were a kid
512
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:55,019
and your dad abandoned you
at a gas station?
513
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,065
- Yup.
Mm-hmm.
514
00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,198
It's hard to forget.
- Yeah.
515
00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,638
Why are we doing this?
- It's a bet.
516
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:06,248
This is fun.
517
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:08,381
- So, yeah, no, I told my mom
I was "going to a movie
518
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,426
with Natalie Portman,"
and she thought I was seeing
519
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:12,341
a movie with Natalie Portman,
520
00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,952
and she was so happy and proud.
521
00:20:14,996 --> 00:20:17,999
- And she believed you,
which is the weirdest part
522
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,914
because you are
so out of her league.
523
00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:23,178
- I am. I'm completely
out of her league.
524
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,485
Well, no more secrets.
525
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:27,704
Except, of course...
526
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,184
- Yes, no, obviously.
527
00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:32,056
I mean, we don't--
you know, just until...
528
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,363
we know...
- Right, I mean, we--
529
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:37,366
we wouldn't want
anybody to...
530
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:39,107
to...
531
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:44,112
- Hey, guys, uh...
532
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:47,202
so Jonah and I
have kinda been dating.
533
00:20:48,421 --> 00:20:49,726
- Okay.
534
00:20:49,770 --> 00:20:51,380
- Hasn't that been going on
for a while?
535
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:55,384
- No--well, yes, but we'd been
keeping it secret.
536
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:59,040
Now we're...announcing it.
537
00:20:59,083 --> 00:20:59,910
- Yep.
538
00:21:03,131 --> 00:21:06,177
- Nothing.
- We just thought you'd...
539
00:21:07,135 --> 00:21:08,397
Never mind.
540
00:21:08,441 --> 00:21:10,051
- Okay.
541
00:21:10,094 --> 00:21:12,662
I lost my favorite pen.
542
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:15,665
It's a blue pen.
The ink is also blue.
543
00:21:15,709 --> 00:21:17,319
- Click.
544
00:21:17,363 --> 00:21:18,538
- On it.
545
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:21,454
- Wow. I gotta say
that was underwhelming.
546
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:23,978
- Yeah, I thought
that'd be so much bigger.
39705
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